Okay let's just go over everything that's happened so far. Dragged into a road trip, check. Dragged to a convention, check. Dragged through dimension. Wait what? Okay, universe. Stop! Seriously what did I do to deserve that last one! Stop throwing me into impossibly horrible situations! It was bad enough being world thrown, but public enemy number 1!? What did I ever do to you!?

Evidently, I must have done a lot. I have been trapped here with nothing but my wit and ingenuity, but I'm still alive and have at least one friend. I decided that it would be better make the most out of my new life, and see if I can live at all in this crazed world of Magic and Myths. Hopefully I won't screw up too badly. I fear what may come if I do. Though.... this is all starting to feel familiar. I'm having some difficulty remembering from where though.
Co-authored from chapter 22 and on with Shinigamisparda

Alt Cover Art
Story inspired by "F**k it, I'm having fun" by JimmytheGrape and everything else in the League of Humans acting Villainous.
Props to them! Cover art is not mine.
Edit*2/13/2014*FEATUREBOXYES!
Edit**4/28/14**Technopathic is amazing and you should thank her greatly for working on new cover art for me. It's not done, but as she does it, I will continue to update my cover.
Edit***5/23/14*** NEW cover art is COMPLETE!
Edit****6/28/14**** Old cover art is back by popular demand

Now with a SEQUEL!!

An unexpected event happened in Crystal Empire and quickly spread all over Equestria. Unfortunately, the same thing happened to the youngest ranger in the Army Ranger.

When he and his friends are sent to Afghanistan to fight alongside each other and their main objective is to capture one of the ISIS base in a town, they suddenly got teleported into the 'beautiful' land of Equestria, where they met with colorful talking ponies. But everything didn't seem as beautiful as it looks like.

The rangers now are going to fight with a villain that his mission is to conquer Equestria. Luckily for them, they have technology far more advanced to fight the evil one. So, nothing could go absolutely wrong right? I hope so.

Rated T because contains hard languages.

(Undergoing edited)

Celestia has a dangerous creature held in the deepest of Canterlot's high-security dungeons. It can create ponies (with full backgrounds and histories) with it's strange and often-times prophetic powers. The Princess does her best to keep it under wraps, but its only a matter of time before it's "creativity" will get out of control.

Ugh.
Alright, do you want some advice?
Don't go evil if you don't want to have heroes trying to kill you repeatedly. I know, sometimes you have to do things that are morally questionable, but at others, just be a good guy. Wait in line rather than summon a horde of undead to tear the throats out of everybody except the barista. Or just freeze everybody in place. That's at least funny in a conventional sense.
I'm (sort of) reformed now.
Unfortunately, there're these six mares and their ruler who are making this VERY DIFFICULT.

EDIT: After four days, the Featured streak has ended. It was a good run.
EDIT: Featured again on 10 May? Aw, stahp it guys. Stahp.

EDIT: New coverart courtesy of Leila Drake. Go to her and commission stuff.

Shortly before the outbreak of the Great Wars humanity arrived on Equus. The world had suddenly become home to four human nations. Three had fled from an apocalypse of their own making while the last came from a war torn wasteland. One of these nations, the United States, would go on to change Equus forever.

A fic based on Hearts of Iron 4's Equestria At War mod. The Escalation 84 submod (which adds the USA, USSR, and Euro Council ) has been added. The NCR Expedition has been turned on. And numerous nations are set to either go fascist or communist. Should be fun times...

This story is a sequel to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor

(15/10/2015) Turned status back to incomplete pending an Epilouge and Alternate Endings chapter as per comment suggestions.

After being banished by Celestia for his misdeeds, the alien Emperor of the Crystal Empire is back... and out for revenge.

Emperor Chalmers is not a happy space man. After being stabbed in the back by Equestria, he was sent to the depths of the Underworld. Kicked out for causing too much trouble for the wardens, Nigel now has the chance to take back his empire and show Celestia just how disappointed he is with her.

This time things will be different. This time he has friends.

We all know how this goes, don't we? Some unlucky schmuck goes to a Halloween party or convention dressed up as someone evil, gets sent to Equestria, and then ends up antagonizing the locals.

Well my story goes a bit differently. My name is Isaac Donohue, and after a night of drunken partying that I STILL can't remember, I wake up in Equestria fifteen hundred years before the events of canon with five seemingly random superpowers:

Angelic Physiology, so I'm frickin gorgeous now. Oxygen Independence, so I don't need to breath. Asexual Reproduction, just call me Mister Mommy why don't you...Bubble Breath, something useless that I rarely use. Power Replication, otherwise known as a game breaker.

So anyways I befriended everyone's favorite draconequus Discord, and we made such beautiful chaos together. Well, it was more of me trying to reform him before he got stoned by the Princesses in an effort to change history for the better. What a waste of time that was, and as a result of this I got petrified as well for being his accomplice. Can you believe that?

Since I'm free, I've decided to settle down and rule a kingdom of my own. I'm sure there are enough tyrants in the world that need to be overthrown despite Sunbutt's best efforts. But if there aren't any, I'm pretty sure I can steal the Crystal Empire from Sombra before Shining Armor and Cadence do.

The only problem is, THE LAW WON'T STOP CHASING ME!

A LoHAV story that I'm writing as I go on.

ANNOUNCEMENT 6/4/2017: I'm sorry, but this story is cancelled. This has been a long time coming. As I've progressed as a writer I look back on this story with increasing amounts of disgust. Still, I know people enjoy it for some reason which is why I'm leaving it up for posterity's sake. Maybe I'll completely rewrite it from the ground up in the future, but that time is not now.

TV TROPES PAGE! Show it the love, people!

Tartarus: the fabled prison said to hold all of the demons of Equus at bay.

Few truly know what lies behind the impenetrable doors Cerberus guards. Some say that it is a pit, infinite in it's depth and darkness, from which there is no return. Other claim it to be a hellish plain, filled with fire and pain and suffering, to punish the demons for their sins.

All of them are wrong.

Tartarus is small. An inescapable cell for a single prisoner. But the tales about it's purpose are not false.

For this captive human holds the key to unleashing upon Equestria forces which have not been seen for centuries, forces which predate Equestria by many an age.

And soon, he shall be free.

EDIT: Featured on 5/25/14! SUH-WEEEEET!

[img]http://i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png[/img]

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

It has been said that nothing lived on the land of Equestria before the three pony tribes became one and settled there. It has also been said that ponies cultivated and created Equestria with their own hooves.

This is wrong.

Thousands of years after the cultivation of Equestria, Zachery a human soldier whose sole task is to protect the human race is allowed to take a leave of absence. It has been thousands of years since the last pony sighting and being in constant state of wartime is deemed too stressful for both the militants and civilians involved.
While this is happening, Twilight Sparkle an alicorn princess of Equestria unearths information on a lost race that lived in Equestia thousands of years ago. Unknowingly to the both her and Zachery, she slowly sets into motion the events that will cause the two species that had violently divided to once again meet. For better or for worse.