(Canterlot Castle : Guest Suite)
Twilight paced around the room as the rest of her friends talked with each other. Applejack was staring at the door in disbelief. “Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever seen Celestia that mad. She was worse than any rodeo steer I’ve come across, and that’s sayin’ somethin’.”
Rarity huffed and was continuously brushing Fluttershy’s mane, even though it was already fine. “Whatever this Invention did must simply have been horrid to put the princess in such a fuss.” The brush doubled in speed and Fluttershy looked around nervously as she bit her hoof. “And knowing that the search came up empty hooved....”
Rainbow hovered in the air and scowled as she punched a few times. “So what? We’ll just find this Invention guy and kick his flank! He doesn’t have any magic, so how tough could he be?”
Twilight shook her head. “No Rainbow. We don’t know anything about Invention. According to Celestia, he could build almost anything, and did just that over 1500 years ago with no help. Think of what he could do with modern technology.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Oh no. The big bad inventor is going to attack us with a gramophone. I’m so scared.”
“As you should be Rainbow Dash.” All heads turned as Luna entered the room. Her face showing her age and the stress she was feeling from Celestia’s behavior. “Invention could do much with very little at his disposal, especially when provoked.”
Pinkie beamed as a light bulb appeared over her head. “Hey! You were there when he was doing whatever baddy bad thing he did. Maybe you could tell us what happened and we could find him and make sure he’s not being a mean meany pants!”
Luna looked at her for a moment before sighing. “I suppose you are right young Pinkie. But what I will tell you, you should take with a grain of salt. My opinion of Invention is slightly... biased.” Luna blushed slightly as she cleared her throat. “Either way, I shall begin. When I first met him, Invention was a strange man. The very first time I saw him, he had crawled through my bedroom window while I was bathing.”
Fluttershy hid behind her mane and blushed as the rest of her friends stared in shock with blushes of their own. “Oh my...”
Luna continued her tale regardless of the reactions she was receiving. “After I called the guard on him, he fled without being spotted once. None heard from him for months, but reports of minor thefts had begun to rise. The next thing and Celestia and I knew, he had managed to rob one of the most fortified and wealthy nobles of the time.”
Applejack snorted at that. “So he’s a dirty rotten thief...”
Luna frowned but continued. “He managed to knock out every guard, and ran off with 2,000 bits, weapons, and a large amount of tools. At the time, that was an extremely large sum of money, and Princess Platinum was furious that her private armory was robbed.”
Rarity’s jaw dropped as she stared in disbelief at Princess Luna. “He ROBBED PRINCESS PLATINUM!?”
Luna nodded and continued. “That he did, and he even took out the guards that went after him when he was escaping. But that was not what was unusual about his success. Many had been able to according to the princess, but I doubt they were true with how much was stolen. What he did afterwards was strange for a thief to do. Instead of keeping all of the bits for himself, piles of around a hundred bits each were placed in some of the poorer houses, totaling at 1531 bits.”
Luna looked out the window as all of The Elements gazed at her and sighed. “He took only that which he needed, and gave the rest away.” Luna’s gaze drifted to her moon and she sighed before whispering under her breath.
(1500 years ago)
I woke with a yawn as I looked around. I’d been in this shack for about two weeks now, and only headed into or near the city when I needed food. Sometimes I didn’t even do that and just hunted down some wildlife from the nearby area with my cutlass. I got to say, I didn’t expect all of this running around to help my figure to the degree it has. My formerly scrawny limbs of bone and skin now actually had some defined muscle. Now don’t get me wrong I was still a scrawny guy, but I actually looked fit.
I got up and looked at how the shack looked. I had been cleaning it in my spare time, and it was starting to look decent. That corner of the ceiling is going to need replaced soon though, so I’ll probably need to head to a different town to buy some nails and lumber... then find a way to get it in without anyone knowing where I live.
I sighed and got up off of the cot, grabbing my coat and hat before walking outside. I moved over to the river and scooped some water with my hands, taking a large drink and quenching my thirst.
“Why hello there.” I jumped out of my skin and turned around after falling in the river. There was a floating creature made from several animals hovering in place laughing. “Oh that was funny!”
I hastily stood up and stared at the creature in shock. “What the hell!?”
It popped away and then reappeared next to me, brushing its teeth while leaning on my shoulder. “Not what, but who my dear fellow.” The necklace started to glow and hover, pointing at the being. “What’s this? Oh thou found my tooth!”
I blinked a few times as I stared at the creature. “I...uh....what?”
The floating thing hovered down and stared closely at the fang. “Hmm...” It leaned back and rubbed it’s chin. “It seems that my poor tooth has already crystallized. Shame.” It hummed as it looked down at me before smirking. “Here my lad, a gift.” He snapped his fingers and nothing seemed to happen.
The creature popped out of sight soon after, and I simply stared at where it was. I felt a little weird right behind my left eye, but I’ve always had a small tick there from slight nerve damage. A baseball to the face after a professional hits it does that, so I thought nothing of it.
I shook my head and got out of the river shortly afterwards. “Good god, if this keeps up I’ll lose my mind.” I paused and sighed. “If I haven’t already.”
I walked over to the shack again and paused for a moment before looking at my sword. “Hm.... I wonder if I could build anything else....”
It was a week since that floating thing showed up and I couldn’t help but try and figure out a way to improve my home. “Hm.... a forge?”
I shook my head and scoffed at the idea. “Bah, what would I make out of that?” I tapped my chin as I sat inside the shack and looked at the ceiling. “I got a desk of sorts.... Maybe I could build some tools?”
I smiled at the idea and started to get up out of my seat. “Yeah, that’d be a good place to start... that or I could steal some.” I grimaced slightly as I felt my mind point out several flaws of me actually building them. “I’d rather not , but I don’t know the first thing about making a tool besides tying a stick to a rock.”
I walked out of the shack and started heading for the exit. “Well, I guess I’m getting more than just food this run.” I rubbed my left eye some and grimaced. It hasn’t calmed down since that snake thing showed up... I should get out more during the day. Being in the dark all the time can't be good for it at all.
I quickly exited the cave and looked out at the city. I knelt down and clasped my hands together and whispered under my breath. “Forgive me father for I must sin.” I stood back up and started running over to the city. As I was running closer, I spotted something on the road. I stayed behind some trees nearby and took a peek at what was blocking the path.
There was a cart sitting in the middle of the road, and a mare was hitched to the front. I couldn’t tell what kind of pony she was, but the curvature of her body said mare. Being in the dark like this doesn't help either. She seemed to be talking with someone in front of her, so I snuck a little closer.
“For Celestia’s sake, get out of my way. My time is not that which I can spare.”
A male voice came from in front of the mare. “Heh, we doth care about your time. Now be a sweet young mare and hoof over what ya got in the cart.” I heard his goons chuckle as the sound of metal scraping rang through the air. “Wouldn’t want to kill such a pretty young wench.”
I drew my blade and slowly crept to the back of the cart. I leaned on it and I could hear one of the goons move around. “I’ll go to see what she has in the cart.” I looked to my left and saw the brown fur of the stallion as he rounded the corner. He was wearing some form of leather armor and had a sword on his side. When he finally saw me, he jumped back and drew his sword in a panic. “WHAT IN TARTARUS!?”
I calmly waved and smiled at him. “Why hello. I don’t know why you’re giving my good friend here such a hard time, but if you continue you may find things to be a little... problematic for you.” I flourished my cutlass a little and smiled as his friends ran around to see what was going on. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
They all looked at each other before they started snickering and pulling their own blades out. “I think you have the wrong message monster.” The stallion pointed his sword at me. “Thou art outnumbered. What makes thee think thou can win?”
I pointed my sword at one of the goons next to him and sighed. “This.” I pulled the trigger and a blast fired from the barrel, going straight through the bandit’s wing. They all looked at him in shock before the leader looked at me in anger.
“KILL IT!”
I jumped away from the cart and lashed out with a kick, hitting the first bandit to charge me in the face. A second one tried to stab me from the front and I sidestepped him. I brought the hilt of my sword into his face and knocked him out before jumping over a third bandit and landing on him, knocking him out cold as I stomped his head into the pavement.
I looked at the leader as his four men were down on the ground. “Now this can end two ways.” I waved my sword at the bandits. “You can take your friends here and leave, or I kick your ass. Your choice.”
He faltered and glared at me before taking off and shouting down. “Thou shalt pay for this!” He flew off and I smiled a little. I just saved a helpless mare from a bunch of bandits. I’ve never felt better. Of course my internal freak out was not exactly helping with my thoughts in the process of agreeing with that statement. HOLY SHIT I JUST SHOT SOMEONE! I TRUE TO GOD SHOT HIM! WHAT IN SAM HELL WAS I THINKING!? I COULD HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF GUTTED!
I turned to the mare and smiled while tipping my hat, hiding any trace of my internal freakout. “There you go madam, they won’t be bothering you any-” I stopped when I opened my eyes to four daggers floating at my face. The mare’s horn was lit in a bright green and she growled. “Oh... um....could you please lower the knives?” I has bad feels....
She shouted as the knives inched closer. “You imbecile! You should never have let that guard get away! Now my bounty’s bound to double!”
Wat.
She started heading down the road with the cart, straining to pull it along. “And now thy own bounty is bound to be increased as well! What kind of an incompetent thief lets a witness get away!”
Double Wat.
I stood there silent as the mare struggled to move next to me. Whatever was in the cart must have been incredibly heavy. That and it was stuck in a rut. She was looking rapidly between her cargo, the city in the distance, and me. “Damn it all to the bowels of tartarus. I can’t be caught now...”
I raised a hand and pointed up. “So let me get this straight.... you’re not a damsel in distress?”
She looked at me for a moment before slowly leaning away. “Noooo...”
I slumped forward and groaned. “God damn it... why does all my attempts at being a good guy go wrong?” I saw her tarp lift some and my eyes widened at what I saw. There were tools, swords, spears, and a shit ton of gold in there. I looked at the mare for a moment, seeing her struggle to move out of the rut. I sighed as the gentleman in me berated me for not helping her "Because she's a lady in need" and the logistics master was shouting “She’s a god damned thief! Leave!”
My gentleman side won out in the end though, as I stopped giving a fuck for the day. “Would you like some help?”
The mare glared at me again and pulled out her daggers. “No! I can handle myself just fine. I am not in need for assistance from the likes of you!” She strained against the harness again and made absolutely no progress.
I raised my hands and sighed. “Look, I won’t steal anything. If I help you get out of here, and let you stay at my place. I won’t say a word if you let me have some of the tools you have. Deal?”
She glared at me for a moment before grumbling. “Fine. You have your ‘deal’. Now help me out of this Celestia forsaken rut.” I moved to the back of the cart at pushed as she tried going forward, getting the cart to pop out of the rut. Once she was moving again, I moved back to the front and lead the way back to my cave.
As we neared the entrance, I stopped and put my arm out. “Alright, we’re here. Now to get everything inside.”
She looked at me like I was mad. “THIS is your home? This is the Prison Caves! No pony ever comes out alive!”
I blinked a few times before looking at her. “Seriously? I just blew a hole in the wall and made myself a tunnel. I walk in and out all the time.” I started walking in and looked back at her. “You coming?”
She shook her head and sighed before walking in after me. “First I manage to rob Princess Platinum, then I get saved by some scaleless dragon from the guards. Celestia preserve my soul should I be eaten.”
I frowned a little at that, but kept walking in. When we reached my hole-in-the-wall, I took a handful of tools and started heading in. “It’s just down here. I hope you can forgive the living conditions. I was needing these tools so I could do some renovations.” I nearly tripped on a rock and grumbled over the stubbed toe. “Like adding stairs. Right there.”
As we entered the main cave of my man cave, I finally got a good look at my accidental save. She had a gold coat, and her mane was a deep blue ocean of hair that almost reached the floor. She had a mark on her flanks that looked like a pair of daggers crossed over a heart. I should have known... The mare looked around and her green eyes widened at the sight of all the crystals lighting the cave. “Wow...”
I nodded. “Yeah, they’re quite the sight. But you get used to it after the third week or so.” I put the tools down next to the door and the mare put the mass she had in her telekinesis down next to my pile. I still couldn’t really get used to the fact that they float shit with their minds, but a week ago I was talking to a floating snake thingamabob. I don’t question things much anymore.
She looked at the shack and grimaced. “Is this really thy home?”
I nodded and picked up a hammer, twirling it a little. “Yeah, but I plan on doing some improvements.” The hammer flew from my hand and knocked into my head. “As soon as I stop hurting myself for today...” I paused for a moment before lightly smacking my head. “Oh for the love of... I forgot to ask for your name.”
The mare looked at me a moment, before cautiously answering. “My name... it is Robin.”
I offered a hand and a warm smile in response. “Just call me...” I paused and furrowed my brow as I tapped my head. Okay... my name was... what again?... Why can’t I remember my name?... WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER MY NAME!? I kept most of the freak out inside before looking down at Robin again. “Call me what you like. I can’t, seem to remember my name at the moment.”
Robin looked at me with a raised eyebrow before rolling her eyes. “I don’t have the patience for this drake.” She trotted into the shack and hopped on the cot. “When morning arrives, I expect to receive a name.”
I sighed and rubbed my face again. “Man, why can’t anything go my way?”
(Present Time)
I walked out of the basement and saw Boris laughing as he ran around the room being chased by Steve. It seemed that after waking up the tall lanky robot chef, he had decided to leave him a present in the form of a bucket of oil over the door. It’s a good thing I made the drains in the kitchen and the automatic floor washing system. “Come back here you!”
I chuckled and they both stopped to look over at me. “Oh come now Steve, is that any way to welcome home Boris and I? I mean really, we take a 1500 year vacation and come home to a grump.” Steve stared at me with a unamused look as Ed and Boris laughed. He eventually started laughing with us as well and we only stopped when we heard footfalls from upstairs.
Victoria, my last creation before I was imprisoned, came down the stairs and entered the room. “Steve, why do I hear laugh-” She froze when she noticed that Boris and I were in the room and held a hand to her mouth. “D-Dad? Is that.... really you?”
I held out an arm and smiled. “Come here Vicky. I want a hug.” She bolted to my side and I nearly fell over when she wrapped her robotic arms around me. “I missed you too sweetheart.”
Boris jumped up into the air. “We’re all together again!”
I raised an eyebrow and stared at Boris. “While that may be true Boris, I believe you caused a bit of a mess in the kitchen. While the floors are cleaned automatically, you’re still going to have to clean the counters so Steve here can make us all some dinner.”
Boris slumped forward like I normally do but kept staring at me in disbelief. “What!?” I nodded my head over to the kitchen and Boris fumed while stomping his way in. “This is so not fair...”
I knelt down to Vicky’s level, as I had made her the same height as Boris, and smiled softly. “Vicky, I know I just got back, but I need to talk with Ed and Steve for a bit. Alright?” She tried to protest, but I put a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when we’re done. Why don’t you help Boris clean? He never was good at it.”
Vicky frowned but nodded. “Alright...” I gave her a kiss on the head and she smiled a little before heading to help Boris.
When the door had closed my smile vanished and I turned back to Steve and Ed. “Ed, did you inform Steve of what I wished to talk about?” Ed nodded and both him and Steve moved to sit across from me. “That’s good. I won’t have to repeat myself.”
Steve opened up his arm and pulled out a roll of paper and set it out on what was left of the coffee table. “We have been searching for him since you got turned to stone Sir, but we can’t find a trace of him. Whatever you did to him, must have eradicated any remains.” I looked down at the list of places searched and sighed.
I picked up the list and rolled it back up. “No, there should have been at least several hundred pieces of him scattered when I detonated that bomb. Not even after all the modifications I made could an Odin have managed to completely destroy him.”
Ed rubbed the back of his head, and his antenna bobbed slightly. “Then what happened to him?”
I frowned and rubbed my left eye. “I don’t know. Not even the knowledge I was given from losing half my sight wants to answer that question. It only provides me with facts about the nature of the world, not specifics on who goes where.” I got up and looked out the window, staring at the wondrous creations I had made. “But I do know one thing.”
“If there wasn’t a trace of him, than someone picked up our mess. And it seems they were quite thorough about it.”