Chapter 27. Academic Proposals
There are generally three kinds of people at a party. Most simply go in and mingle, talk to people and munch on snacks, and generally participate in the activities.
Some dive in wholeheartedly, taking to the party with tremendous enthusiasm and boosting the experience for everyone. More often than not, they’re the ones who started the party in the first place.
And then there’s the third type, which usually only consists of one person per party: the loners. The ones off in a corner, not talking to anybody, probably with their nose in one of the host’s books. They’re usually dragged into the festivities reluctantly, if at all. And at nine, when the party’s really getting interesting, they’re the ones heading home first.
Twilight was very much of the latter persuasion. Just because she’d been forced to participate in the party and just because she’d had a mug or two of cider by no means meant she had to enjoy it. She had a strict quota on her amount of daily social interaction, and it had long been exhausted.
It was easy enough for Twilight to slip out of the crowd with the partygoers caught up in the revelry. Finding a corner to retreat to, on the other hand, was proving to be a much more difficult endeavor. It seemed to Twilight that no matter where she went there was an endless parade of ponies and changelings living it up to the extreme.
‘Logically,’ she thought to herself as she trotted off of a staircase and turned onto a street where several changelings were trying to wrestle a very large plant waving its vines around into a wooden crate, much to the onlookers’ amusement. ‘There should be at least one place in this city that’s nice and quiet. It’s simple statistics. Unless...’ Her eyes widened as she dropped to her haunches and snapped her forehooves to her temples. ‘Unless I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum and this is the one iteration of the city where there aren’t any quiet places!
‘If there aren’t any quiet places…’ Twilight scrunched her eyes in panic as she started to slowly rock back and forth. ‘Then I’m just going to keep wandering through this- this cacophony, until I can’t take it anymore and then I’ll lose my mind! And then Scholar will throw me out without my friends, and Princess Celestia will see that I not only abandoned the mission but also my friends, and then she’s going to send me to- No!’
Her eyes snapped wide open. ‘I refuse to let that happen! There’s only one logical solution!’ A manic glint lit up her eye as her horn flared up. ‘I have to make a quiet pla-!’
“LOOK OUT BELOOAAARGH!” A panicked scream cut through her panic like a knife. Twilight hastily looked up just in time to see a flailing blur of hooves and white before a heavy something, or someone, slammed into her, sending the both of them rolling across the street in a tangled ball.
“Oww…” The mass, a moderately-sized earth pony with a white pelt and gray mane that had once been slicked back but was now in spiked every which way, moaned. “Whose bright idea was it to move that Venomous Stranglethorn to the Overloft via the Lucente District instead of using a teleport-? Waaaait...” The pony trailed off before snapping upright in a panic. “VENOMOUS!?” He quickly flailed about, running his hooves all over his coat and thoroughly checking himself before finally relaxing. “Oh thank Ceres...” He breathed as he flopped onto his back.
“Buweeeargh...?” Twilight moaned from where she was squashed under him.
“Hm?” The pony turned his head this way and that before catching sight of Twilight underneath him. He promptly let out a panicked squawk as he scrambled off her so fast Twilight almost wondered if he knew how to teleport. “Ohcrapcrapcrap! I’m soooo so so so sorry!” He apologized, practically shoving her back onto her hooves as he frantically ran his limbs over her in an effort to locate any injuries.
“This is typical, just typical!” The stallion grumbled to himself as he circled the still-dizzy mare. “Not only do I get caught up in that damn dastard’s monstrosity!” He spat out the insult like it was ten times more vile than it actually was. “But I also wind up slamming into one of the few very-much do-not-touch individuals in the city! Ty-pic-al!”
“Wh- h-hey, hey!” Twilight protested as she snapped out of her stupor and waved him off. “I’m fine! Thank you for that...” She paused as a thought occurred to her. “By the way, what exactly is a Venomous Stranglethorn, anyway? I’ve never heard of it. Though...” She looked away awkwardly. “That’s becoming less and less of a surprise the more I interact with Concordia.”
The pony perked up instantly as he trotted before the mare and gestured at the plant. “I’m so- moderately, admittedly, considering the topic- glad you asked! That is a fine specimen of the species Taxus Quercifolia, commonly referred to as the Venomous Stranglethorn! It’s rather self-demonstrating, to be honest. It’s something like a Venus Flytrap, only it actively hunts its prey as opposed to luring it in, it dissolves its food externally with its venom as opposed to internally, and its thorns act as an analog to teeth, so...” He tapped his chin contemplatively. “I suppose it’s really nothing like a Venus Flytrap at all, is it?”
“Huh...” Twilight nodded along as she processed the information, the familiar sensation of learning helping to calm her nerves even further. “I suppose it makes sense that I haven’t heard of them. From what I know, the harmony would have forced something so dangerous to devolve into a different species entirely.” She then blinked as another fact hit her. “Wait, why did you call it a ‘dastard’s monstrosity’?”
The stallion instantly scowled in irritation. “Ah, yes.” He raised a hoof and pointed at the plant’s swaying tendrils. “You see that irregular coloration on its limbs?”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “The blue polka-dots? What about-?” Her pupils immediately dilated as she came to the most logical conclusion she could. “Tell me that thing is not a hybrid with what I think it is.”
“I dearly wish I could.” The stallion drawled venomously. “The plant on its own is bad enough as is, but to combine it with Discord’s Poison Joke... eurgh. In case you can’t tell, my colleague had a most rancid sense of humor.”
“Your colleague?” Twilight inquired.
The stallion’s mood seemed to sour even further, though this time he appeared more saddened than angry. “Cory. Cory Garlez. Doctor Cory Garlez. A genius at manipulating the genetic foundation of plantlife and a right pain in my flank. He...” He bowed his head. “He... he’s not in the city.”
“O-Oh... I’m sorry...” Twilight winced in sympathy, mentally berating herself for a moment... until a thought struck her. “Um... sorry if this sounds rude, but... isn’t Cory Garlez a bit of a strange name?”
The stallion snorted in a macabre manner. “Yes yes yes, I suppose that would be a strange name for a pony, wouldn’t it? Not so much for an arboreal, though.”
Twilight’s brows furrowed in thought at the unfamiliar use of the word. “I assume you’re not talking about the ecosystem formed by the canopies of large forests.”
The stallion smiled sadly and shook his head. “A Concordian species, I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of them. Sapient flora, often taking a bipedal, bimanual form. Quite common back in the day, as a matter of fact. It gave Cory a bit of a foothold when it came to his field.”
Twilight winced again, this time from a bolt of self-conscious shame. “Oh...”
The stallion gave her a sidelong look before rolling his eyes. “Oh, don’t be like that. You’re not several millennia old, you’re not at fault. Besides, the Alicorns eventually managed to overcome the arboreals, and for all his many many many faults, Cory knew when to fold ‘em. I suspect that I’ll see him before I even begin to miss him!” The pony started to smile exuberantly... before flinching and darting his eyes back and forth. “Er-! That-that-that is to say-!”
Before his panic could progress any further, it was cut off by Twilight giggling in amusement. “Let’s start over, shall we?” She suggested, sticking her hoof out. “Twilight Sparkle, student of one of your country’s greatest enemies.”
The stallion stared at her hoof in dumbfounded amazement before grinning in turn and shaking it. “Helix. Triple Helix. Doctor Triple Helix. Head of genetic research here in Vitrum, and most likely a mad scientist by your modern standards.”
Twilight perked up even further following his introduction. “Really? That’s incredible! What kind of research did you conduct? Would you mind compa-?”
“AND A-ONE AND A-TWO AND-!”
BWAAAAAAP!
Twilight jerked in shock, nearly leaping into the air as the sound of a blaring trumpet erupted less than five feet behind her.
Said trumpet was then followed up by even more brass instruments, including a number of sousaphones, a whole twelve-pony drum set, and over a hundred clomping hooves as an impromptu marching band marched past on the stairs. The sound of the band, merged with the general cacophony of the party and the shouts of the workers trying to subdue the Venomous Stranglethorn resulted in nothing short of a swirling maelstrom of noise.
Twilight’s eye twitched frantically as her mind reeled, attempting to wrap itself around the jarring turn of events, sparks occasionally hissing and spitting from the tip of her horn.
Triple Helix was in a similar, though lesser, state, shooting a murderous glare at the band of ponies. “OCD can be a bit of a nag at times, can’t it?”
“Personal experience, I take it?” Twilight managed to grind out.
“How’d you guess?”
“You’ve got a verbal tic where you repeat things three times.”
Helix flinched and rubbed his jaw self-consciously. “Could have sworn I’d gotten that under control…”
The sound of sousaphones blaring in unison flared into a crescendo, causing both Twilight and Helix to flinch simultaneously. “We need to get away from this noise, otherwise I will do something I won’t regret later!” Twilight yelled.
“Couldn’t agree more, I’m all of ten seconds from unleashing a plague that would rid the genepool of these buffoons once and for all!” Helix replied. “Academia Grand Central Library is nearby, we can duck in there.”
“You have a -” Twilight smacked her face with her hoof. “Of course there’s a library system, I was in it earlier today and your nation was founded by a man named Scholar, why didn’t I think of that!? Anyway, where is it?”
Helix didn’t answer, instead pointing a hoof off to to Twilight’s side. The unicorn glanced back to see a large crystalline building with an impressive flight of stairs leading to its entrance, the words ‘Academia Grand Central Library’ carved into the crystal arc above it.
“How did I miss that?” Twilight wondered faintly.
“To be fair, you were in the midst of a nervous breakdown. Anyways, come on, before we do something rash...” And with that, the geneticist lead her up the staircase.
Twilight gave Helix a sidelong look as they went. “So, to be clear, how extensive is this library? The library I saw earlier was impressive enough, so-”
“Library?” Helix furrowed his brow in thought. “What was outside it, a pair of griffons or a pegasus with spread wings and a mortarboard?”
“Griffons, why?”
“Ah, right, that’d be the... East End Branch. Eh...” He shrugged. “Not the largest branch, but still, respectably sizeable.”
Twilight blinked. “Wait, that was a branch-?”
Words failed her as Helix pushed the Library’s doors open and she stepped into the lobby of the structure and first beheld the interior of the massive building. Two columns of bookshelves twenty feet high and filled with books lined the sides of what Twilight realized with increasing giddiness was a hallway. Tables with installed desk lamps filled the center of the hall. Craning her neck up, Twilight saw a second floor, also lined with bookshelves the same size as the ones on the ground floor. A distant corner of her mind noted that she seemed to be drooling, but the rest of her was beyond caring.
Triple Helix let out an amused chuckle at her reaction. “Yes yes yes, most people have the same reaction. Wait till you see the archives in the basement.” Reaching over, he used a hoof to close Twilight’s open jaw with a click. “Aaaanyways, I’m going to go and look up a few tomes on chronomancy, see if I can either revert a few of the experiments I had in storage to their original forms or put them to use as is. You can find an index over... thataway.” He gestured towards a pedestal upon which rested a large tome that could have been used to stop open a bank vault.
“Well, do enjoy yourself! Tatata!” Triple Helix made it a few feet before facehoofing. “Damn!”
Twilight continued to stare at the immense collection of knowledge in dumbfounded delight...
CLAP!
Until she jerked back in shock from an impact inches from her face.
The mare who’d snapped her book shut in front of Twilight’s nose rolled her eyes in exasperation before continuing on to wherever she’d been headed.
Twilight grinned sheepishly for a second before hastily galloping over to the index and wrenching it open. “Ooooh, where should I start?!” She squealed exuberantly as she flipped through the many pages. “Twelve different shelves on Arcane Theory, an entire wing dedicated to Spellcrafting, a twenty-volume biography on Starswirl the Bearded?” Twilight nearly jumped out of her pelt with joy at the mere thought. “The one back home only has fifteen! Guess I know what I’m going to be doing for the next... five...”
Twilight trailed off as something caught her eye. Specifically, a pegasus carrying a small mountain of books above her with a cloud of runes originating from the tattoos on her wings.
The lavender unicorn stared after the pegasus for a minute, then glanced at the index thoughtfully for a moment before reluctantly flipping to a different page. “‘Introduction to Rune-Based Magic and Array-Composition’, Runic wing, third floor, Row J, eighth shelf from the bottom, should be... twelfth from the right.” The location committed to memory, Twilight trotted off to find the wing in question.
After about a half-dozen wrong turns, three confused turnarounds, and a staircase that led to literally nowhere, a thoroughly frazzled Twilight managed to finally drag herself to her intended location.
“Why do they even have an empty pocket dimension in here anyways?!” She groaned tiredly.
Twilight shook her head to clear the fog from her mind as she examined the shelves around her. “Alright, that’s enough rest. Come on, Twilight, need to get that book, need to bridge the gap. J, J, J... There we go!” She shot to her hooves and trotted over to the shelf in question.
“Alright, eight up, twelve left... jackpot!” Twilight’s eyes and horn lit up simultaneously as she focused on the book she wanted. She concentrated her magic on the book’s spine...
“ZUUUUUL!”
And jumped several feet in terror when an evil, obscenely loud voice erupted from all around her at once.
The eruption of noise was then closely followed up by a screeching sound, like a ton of glass shattering into shards all at once.
Before Twilight could properly process these noises, an all-too-familiar laugh cut through the haze over her psyche.
“Hahahaha! Perfect, just perfect!” Trixie chortled eagerly as she trotted down the row of bookshelves, an average-sized tome floating in front of her nose. “With this, the Majestic and Bombastic Trixie’s performances shall be more grandiose than ever! Though she wonders... ‘ZUUL, MUTHABUCKA!’” She roared, rearing up on her hindlegs and flailing her hooves about wildly before falling back down and tilting her head in thought.
“Hmm... not bad, but it makes Trixie sound like somebody from Neigh Orleans. Or from Colt Fiction, for that matter... Bah!” She dismissed her misgivings with a shrug. “First one for chills, second for laughs. Either way, Trixie can finally work that Ventriloquist Fridge she’s wanted to use for so long! Let’s see, what else is in here...” She started flipping through her book eagerly before pinning a page with her hoof. “Ooooh, instrument conjuration and auditory refinement! Trixie knew those vuvuzela lessons would pay off! And a one, and a two-!”
“TRIXIE!” Twilight shrieked, her eye twitching furiously as she marched up to the mare. “Does the word ‘library’ mean nothing to you, you boorish, arrogant, uncouth, insufferable- insufferable- Pliohippus!”
Trixie reeled back in shock from the outburst. “Wh- you- who do you think you are, you blind ignoramus of a dog!?” Trixie spat back furiously. “Trixie was simply testing out a new spell she discovered, as most researchers do when they get the chance! Trixie has half a mind to-! To... to...” Trixie trailed off as her gaze slowly drifted up, staring with widening eyes at something above Twilight. “Eeeeeeep...”
Twilight barely even noticed as she snorted furiously in Trixie’s frozen face. “I don’t care where we are or who you think you are, what you did was rude and inconsiderate to other patrons of this establishment! I might not be a violent mare, but I have half a mind to give you a good smack upside the head in hopes of teaching you some manners!”
“Oh-sweet-Hecate-no-anything-but-that-please!” Trixie babbled desperately as she fell on her rump and frantically scrambled backwards. “Trixie wants to live! LIIIVE!”
Twilight blinked in confusion as she followed Trixie’s gaze. “What the heck are you... talking...” Twilight trailed off as well as she stared above her. “Ohhhhh sweet Celestia’s luscious, glorious ass what the hell...”
There, hovering barely a foot above Twilight’s head, was one of the library’s massive bookcases. Perhaps even more impressive than the sheer weight of the thing was that the telekinetic field was holding each individual book, preventing them from falling out due to the tilt.
There were no sparks from Twilight’s horn, no wavers in the field, and no strain whatsoever.
“Hmm... Impressive,” a deep voice rumbled from behind them. Both unicorns whirled around to see Seath closely examining Twilight’s telekinetic field. “Well-balanced, little to no fluctuation in stability, barely even wavering... This is just an estimate, of course, but judging by sheer power alone I’d say you might qualify as a Magister. Very impressive indeed.” He turned his sightless gaze down towards Twilight. “Now, if only you didn’t vandalize my beloved library to prove it.”
Twilight’s pupils dilated as she tried to back away from the drake. “I-I-I’m sorry Duke Seath, sir! I-I didn’t mean to deface your wonderful, magnificent, superb...” Twilight started to trail off slightly as she stared at the multitude of books around her... and was promptly brought down to Mundus by Seath impatiently snapping his claws in front of her nose. “Er, r-right! Anyways, I was just reaching for one book when she!” She jabbed her hoof at Trixie. “Rudely startled me! This is her fault, give her to the six-armed sociopath for inequine experimenting!”
“Me!?” Trixie sputtered indignantly. “Trixie did no such thing! Trixie was just testing a new spell of hers, she did nothing wrong! This nag is the sole culprit!” She jabbed Twilight’s chest. “Blame her, feed her to the laughing obscene garbage compactor!”
“Pompous ass!” Twilight snapped furiously.
“Stuck-up zealot!”
“Self-aggrandizing charlatan!”
“Well at least Trixie’s mane-!”
SNAP!
Twilight and Trixie froze as a loud snap shook the air around them. Then the air froze as well. Then the color of everything nearby inverted momentarily before becoming a dull gray.
Seath snorted loudly through his nose as he kneaded his brow. “Deep breaths, Seath, deep breaths...” He ground out. “They’re not even a century old, they don’t know any better, they both want to learn and you don’t want your darling Priscilla to get angry at you about scaring everybody again...”
Finally, he clapped his hands and nodded in finality. “Alright, let’s try this again...”
Seath snapped his claws, causing a glyph array to appear around his hand. Color inverted once more before returning to normal. Before either Trixie or Twilight could say another word, the drake hastily cleared his throat. “As impressive as it is that Scholar’s progenies have left such a.... lasting impression on you two... Am I correct in understanding that you did not intend to vandalize my property?”
Twilight shook her head furiously. “No, no, of course not! I-I’m as surprised as you are! I mean, look at that thing!” Twilight gestured frantically at the massive bookshelf. “I could lift the books, sure, but that has to be over ten tons of crystal!”
“Eleven thousand, five hundred and twelve kilograms, not including the books.” Seath rumbled.
“See!?” Twilight demanded frantically.“I’m a powerful unicorn, I’ll admit to that, and I have lifted approximately that much weight in the past, but I was struggling the entire time and was bedridden with a stress-induced headache the next morning! This? This is effortless!”
“Trixie can confirm this, if we’re thinking of the same incident,” the blue unicorn added, if somewhat reluctantly. “Not the stress headache part, but definitely the weightlifting.”
Twilight started to frantically pace back and forth as her mind flew a mile a minute. “Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! What’s happening to me!? Is my magical core mutating? Am I being subverted by invisible radiation? Am I dying!? Is Celestia going to send me back to magical kindergarten!?” She suddenly grabbed Trixie by her shoulders and started shaking her desperately. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU DEMON-WORSHIPPING DEVIL-NAG-WITCH!?”
“Tri-i-i-i-xie is un-un-uncomfortable-le-le with thi-i-i-is!” The mare managed to get out.
Seath twitched for a second before taking a slow, calming breath, leaning down, and releasing it right in Twilight’s face. The mare immediately let go of Trixie, the manic gleam in her eyes softening into a serene calmness.
“Did I use the correct dose, or are you going to be stoned for the rest of the day?” Seath growled.
Twilight blinked in surprise before shaking her head and smiling sheepishly. “Nonono, I’m good, thanks!”
Seath snorted in satisfaction. “Good.” His blank gaze flicked back to the space above Twilight’s head. “You can put the bookshelf back now.”
Twilight’s head snapped up in shock. “Wait, I kept that up through a panic attack? Wow, something is up with my magic...”
“Ahem?”
“Ah, right!” Twilight’s horn flared as she exerted her will on reality. The bookcase suddenly plunged towards the ground...
And was promptly caught in a series of rune arrays that encircled its mass.
“Drop it.” Seath grunted in frustration, his fingers twitching slightly as he held the arrays stable.
Twilight hastily killed the light around her horn, stepping back as Seath lowered the bookshelf into its previous position. “I-I’m so sorry!” She apologized. “I tried to lower it gently, but the motion-!”
“Was multiplied far beyond what you initially anticipated, right?” Trixie asked hastily.
Twilight blinked in surprise. “How did you-?”
“Trixie was affected the same way when Scholar purged the harmony from Trixie and her friends!” The blue mare answered eagerly. “Its removal must have unleashed your full potential. Trixie was able to handle it because she’s been fighting against harmony her whole life, so the margin for improvement was present but far from drastic. You, on the other hand, have always used a fraction of your strength for your spellcasting, hence you’re overcompensating by attempting to use the same percentage of energy you’ve used your entire life, which is currently far bigger than it’s ever been!”
Twilight and Seath stared at Trixie in open-mouthed shock.
Trixie looked back and forth between them before frowning petulantly. “What? Just because Trixie is a performer doesn’t mean she isn’t intelligent! Trixie will have you know that a lot of attention to detail goes into maintaining her illusions!”
Seath sighed and rolled his head. “Well, anyways, for whatever reason, Scholar wants you and your friends to remain in good health. As such, I had better assist you with reclaiming control over your magic.”
Twilight blinked in confusion. “Huh? I realize my magic is a bit out of control, but how could I possibly hurt myself?”
“Third dimensional relocation through the æther coupled with a surcharge of energy twice what the atomic bonds can take equals out to?” Seath asked in a deadpan voice.
Twilight scrunched up her snout in thought for a second before paling in terror. “Every stone structure within a two-kilometer radius shattering from the force of the blast?” She squeaked.
“Three if you’re feeling particularly pessimistic. Or optimistic, depending on how you view these things.” Trixie piped in.
“So is there a testing site we can slowly walk over to or-?” Twilight whimpered.
“Reading room seven, follow me.” Seath drawled, hauling his mass around and dragging his way down the corridor, stopping only a moment to glance back at Trixie. “Would you like to come as well or...?”
“An opportunity to watch one of the strongest unicorns on the continent relearn how to use magic from the ground up? You’d need to pay Trixie to miss this!” The showmare squealed as she galloped behind the drake.
“Don’t enjoy it too much, Trixie.” Twilight grumbled darkly.
“Oh, Trixie won’t, she promises.” The blue unicorn held her hoof over her heart before grinning sadistically. “By the way... that was quite the exclamation back there. Luscious and glorious?
Was your student-teacher relationship a little… closer than usual, or was that a Freudian slip indicating you wished it were?”
Seath rolled his eyes as Twilight gave a squawk of protest behind him and retorted with a comment that earned a splutter from Trixie in turn. Children. He was surrounded by children. But at least they were following him.
Finally, after a few long minutes of walking they reached a large set of double doors, large enough that even Seath could fit through them with no trouble or adjustment. A small placard with a large number seven carved into it sat attached to the wall next to the doors.
“This is a reading room?” Trixie and Twilight exclaimed simultaneously, the former in incredulity and the latter in excitement.
“Well, our researchers are quite active, you know.” Seath rumbled, examining a panel of runes he conjured with a wave of his hand. “Now, let me just check and make sure... Oh come now, really!?” He exclaimed in frustration. “I keep telling them to clean it out whenever they’re done, but do they listen? Nooooo...”
“Is there a problem?” Twilight asked worriedly.
“No, no, nothing much, just clearing out somebody's leftover work...” Seath grumbled darkly as he tapped a few choice runes.
Seconds later, a wave of heat rolled from the doors, along with a multitude of tortured, inequine squeals of agony.
When the wave relented, Seath pushed the door open and took a deep breath through his nose. “Ahhh, fresh ashes. A smell that’s only equaled by the smell of hot coffee in the morning. Well, let’s get started!”
Trixie and Twilight glanced at one another uncomfortably as the Pale Drake shuffled his way into the room.
“Alright, tell me you’re at least a little disturbed by that.” Twilight demanded.
“Eh...” Trixie tilted her hoof side to side in a so-so manner. “To be fair, Trixie is fairly certain those were hideous abominations of science and magic that lived their short lives in agony and that Seath did them a favor. But yes, it is a little disturbing. There is a reason why Trixie didn’t decide to major in biology, after all.”
“Then why follow someone who allows them to do things like that!?” Twilight demanded indignantly.
“Well, for one, their experiments do often provide vaccines to horrible afflictions.” Trixie shrugged. “There was this one disease long ago back in Concordia. Evil thing, really, almost a guaranteed death penalty. ‘Franken’ Fran Madaraki managed to eradicate it in little under six months when she and a team of researchers were granted unlimited resources.”
Twilight blinked in surprise. “Really? What was it called?”
Trixie tilted her head in thought. “Can...seer? Something like that. Either way, it was a very well-recorded moment in history.”
“Never heard of it,” Twilight stated flatly.
“Ex-actly.” Trixie shot back with a smirk.
“If you two are quite finished…” Seath interjected, his voice trailing off menacingly.
The pair hastily scrambled into the room, unwilling to poke the very awake and irritated dragon any further.
The room itself was fairly impressive, a crystalline cube bigger than most houses. Shelves lined the walls, holding notebooks, references and manuals, and all manner of arcane lab equipment. In the center was a large wooden table, liberally engraved with runic arrays and decorated by scorch marks and stains of unknown origin. Leaning against the walls were several mats, also liberally covered in runic arrays. More runes lined the walls and windows, though some looked… faded. And, of course, a baker’s dozen of small piles of ash scattered around the room.
“Now then...” Seath tapped the tips of his fingers together thoughtfully. “Let’s start with the basis of all magic: theory. Explain to me how you employ your magic on a day-to-day basis.”
Twilight perked up eagerly at the opportunity to discuss magic with another intellectual. “Well, let’s see...” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “First and foremost, I visualize the intended goal or target of whatever spell I’m using. Then, I reach deep inside myself to find my magical core, grasp ahold of my energy, and direct it towards my goal while focusing on moulding the energy towards its intended purpose. That way, I can use the energy to warp the fabric of reality and alter the laws of physics in such a manner that suits my needs. I have a wider variety of spells than most unicorns thanks to my Cutie Mark focusing on magic in general, as opposed to a singular specialized skill or talent. Most unicorns can only perform spells related to their talent, besides standard telekinesis.”
Twilight slipped out of lecture mode to see Seath staring at her with his jaw hanging open. “That’s- It’s- I don’t even-”
The dragon visibly shuddered as he collected himself, furiously kneading the blank space where his eyes would be. “I really should have expected this, but- Very well. Clearly we are talking about two very different systems of spellcasting here. Very, very different.”
Twilight blinked in confusion. “Huh? What do you mean? Magic is a byproduct of life, controlling it is an instinctual process highly dependant on visualization and intent.
“If Trixie may?” Trixie interjected, raising her hoof as she stepped forwards. “Trixie believes that we may have a case of divergent evolution on our hands. After all, it’s been over two thousand years, hence Equestrian arcane theory has shifted over time based on very different conditions, such as less magical flexibility due to harmony, the loss of the Concordian knowledge base, and a singular dominant magic-using species, as opposed to numerous species with different philosophies pooling their knowledge. Add in the universality of Cutie Marks and their personalized magic amongst the population, and it’s little wonder Equestrian magic has evolved the way it has.”
Seath rumbled unhappily as he nodded along. “I understand, but still. The idea of using such a system... it’s more than enough to make my skin crawl.”
“Hey!” Twilight protested. “What’s wrong with my magic!?”
“Besides the fact that it’s essentially an arcane club with little to no concept of grace or nuance?” Seath asked flatly.
“But there are advantages to the Equestrian system,” Trixie cut in hastily. “Namely, it is supremely flexible and easy to learn. There are documented cases of unicorns learning new spells simply by seeing them once, and spells can be created on the fly. This is something that cannot be done to nearly the same extent in the Concordian system.”
Seath frowned in thought, but didn’t say anything. Trixie took that as her cue to continue. “In the Concordian system, learning spells is a two step process. One must first learn the underlying framework behind that family of spell, all of which have been worked out in exacting detail by prior researchers. Generally, each framework deals with a specific cluster of desired effects, and it is within that cluster of effects where visualization and intent come into play. You picture the specific effect, and enter that image into the framework, which takes care of most of the work directing the magic for the desired effect. As a result, while the base framework may be difficult to alter or create, it can then be applied to a vast array of circumstances. Similar to a magical skeleton key, if you will.”
Once Trixie was finished with the speech, which she’d apparently been reciting from memory, she smiled up at Seath expectantly. “Correct?”
Seath rumbled out a thoughtful hum. “It’s an intuitive style of magic, flexible yet utilitarian, definitely solid and frankly quite impressive...” He shook his head slowly. “And totally foreign to me.”
Trixie and Twilight’s jaws dropped open in shock. “W-what?!” Trixie squawked in disbelief.
“Concordian magic is a rigorous, scientific process.” Seath lectured. “Each step of a spell is meticulously constructed, formed from the base up in such a manner that each individual spell is unique to the caster. The reason why Runic magic is so popular is that it makes magic easily recordable and analyzable by all observing it. The idea of allowing instinct and chance to take a part in magic is... quite frankly, reckless.”
Trixie worked her jaw helplessly. “Bu- But Trixie-! This was the magic that Trixie was taught since she was a child, the one she’s always researched! How could it possibly be so different!?”
Twilight bowed her head in thought for a second, rubbing her chin contemplatively before blinking in realization. “Divergent evolution,” she breathed, snapping her head up to stare at Seath, who shared the same look of realization.
“Of course…” he breathed. “Two thousand years of cultural and intellectual isolation… they were probably working from an incomplete knowledge of the Concordian system, so they filled the gaps with Equestrian magical theory.”
“An unrecorded, completely foreign arcane methodology that perfectly melds intellect and intent into a singular expression of will upon the fabric of reality!” Twilight squeed. “Can you imagine the possibilities!?”
“So many different laws and treatises... ooooh, to finally break the Dilopian Limit!”
“Over a dozen theories, at the least, the least!”
Trixie snapped her gaze back and forth between Seath and Twilight, shrinking in on herself as they suddenly snapped their manic gazes towards her, identical gleeful grins adorning their mouths.
“Uhhh... Trixie... thinks she left the stove on...” The mare started to slowly inch backwards.
Almost instantly, Seath snapped his claws, causing the doors to the room to slam shut with a heart-dropping BANG!
“You interrogate, I’ll take notes.” Twilight drooled.
Seath’s grin displayed every last one of his menacing fangs. “With pleasure.”
Trixie’s pupils shrank to pinpricks. “Mother.”
Throughout the library, patrons glanced up as an ear-splitting shriek of terror coursed through the halls before shrugging and returning to their ministrations.
-o-
One of the lasting mysteries of the victory party would be where Pinkie Pie had found an entire travelling carnival, persuaded them to set up shop in Vitrum, and gotten them to the crystal city, all in the span of seconds. Scholar, when asked, merely shrugged it off with a “It’s Chaos; I don’t gotta explain shit.”
The reaction was shared by most of the partygoers. None of them cared how the carnival had gotten there. All they cared about was that it was there, and now they could blow their money on greasy food, prize games that were probably rigged, and a half-dozen rides, including a small (and unimpressive) roller coaster.
Spike scanned each booth as he passed by, looking for a plushie Rarity might like, all while munching on a funnel cake topped with whipped cream, powdered rubies, and candied strawberries.
“Alright, let’s see...” Spike nibbled on his funnel cake thoughtfully. “Bottle rings? Too hard. Water shooter? Ugh, no, don’t want to get wet, plus it’s way too easy. Ball toss?” He watched as a pegasus stallion whiffed on his last ball before walking off in a huff. The booth owner had a smug grin on his face the whole time. “Yeah, that’ll do it. Not too hard, not too easy, and that guy needs to be taken down a peg.”
“He’s actually earned the grin. After all, it takes some ingenuity to hide runes on the bases of clear bottles instead of just using glue.”
“Yeah, but still, that’s no reason to be a big headed as-YEARGH!” Spike jumped almost five feet in the air in shock, on account of how the space to his left had not been occupied ten seconds ago.
Veronica rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Was that really necessary?” She groaned.
“That’s my line!” Spike snapped back. “You couldn’t just walk up and tap me on the shoulder like a normal person?”
“I’m an assassin! If I let everyone know where I was at all times, I’d be out of a job!” Veronica shot back.
“Well maybe if your family weren’t completely and utterly psychotic, I wouldn’t be so freaked out by you!” The dragon growled.
“My family is psychotic, I’m the normal one! Why does everyone always forget that!?” She demanded.
Spike opened his mouth to respond, then thought better of it. “Nah, too easy, plus I want to live. So, what do you want, anyway? That plushie isn’t going to win itself.”
“Yes, because every mare wants a four-foot stuffed diamond-dragon.” Veronica muttered sarcastically. “Anyways, you have more pressing matters to attend to. Scholar wants a word with you.”
Spike shot a flat glare at the black-clad homunculus. “So your sadistic sociopath of a father who’s the greatest enemy of my home nation wants to ‘have a word with me’. Yeah, like that’s not suspicious at all. I’ll pass, thanks.”
Turning his back on the homunculus, Spike started for the ball-throwing booth again. He didn’t go two steps before Veronica flashed back in front of him.
“Let me clarify my job description.” Veronica intoned darkly. “I’m primarily an assassin, meaning I kill whoever Scholar thinks needs to be killed, no matter what, but in all honesty I like to think of myself as an overachiever. I do whatever Scholar needs me to do, make sure that he gets what he needs. So when he says he wants to speak to you, what makes you think that your opinion is a factor?”
Spike swallowed heavily before managing to redouble his glare. “You know, it’s things like this that make people doubt your position as a ‘good guy’, you know that, right?”
“Duly noted. Follow me.”
Grumbling darkly, Spike finished his funnel cake as he followed Veronica through the teeming tide of equinity in a direction vaguely towards the center of the city.
“So, uh, where are we going, exactly?” Spike asked as they meandered around what seemed to be an entire hoofwrestling tournament.
“Scholar will be meeting you at Concord Spire,” Veronica answered. At his blank look, she elaborated. “The big palace-tower in the center of the city.”
“Oh, heh, right...” The drake scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.
Veronica rolled her eyes before suddenly slowing down and shoving Spike into an alcove. “In here.”
“Wha-hey!” Spike protested as he stumbled into a windowsill. “I thought that we were supposed to be going to... the...” He trailed off as he caught sight of the cityscape sprawled out below the window.
Veronica cast a disinterested look out the window before shrugging. “Bolthole network spread across Vitrum. It’s not that impressive, to be honest. Come on, this way.”
Spike hastily tore his gaze away from the impressive sight and hastily followed Veronica down the winding crystal hallways, ultimately reaching a large pair of slightly cracked-open double doors, from which both light and voices were streaming out.
The dragon made to enter the door, but was halted by Veronica’s outstretched arm.
“-don’t care how much this benefits us, Scholar, it’s still amoral!” A familiar female voice exclaimed indignantly.
“Oh lighten up, will you? I’m not going to hurt him!” An even more familiar male voice shot back.
“Nooo, you’re just going to cause him mental and emotional trauma!”
“Solely for his benefit!”
“And you think that makes things better!?”
“Doesn’t it!?”
“Sometimes I can’t believe you’re my father!”
Veronica flinched and groaned as she dragged a hand down her face. “Oh perfect, Fran and Scholar are arguing over ethical limits again. I’d better break this up before Fran tries to strangle him and winds up drinking herself to sleep for a week over breaking her ‘do no harm’ oath.”
“Uuuh...” Spike slowly stuck up his claw.
“Do no unnecessary harm, you know what I mean.” Veronica grumbled before pushing the doors open hard enough to cause a loud BANG! “Pardon me!” She announced.
“WHAT!?” Scholar and Fran snapped furiously, breaking the glares they’d been directing at one another.
“I brought the drake.” She jabbed her thumb at Spike.
The human and pseudo-human glanced at one another before composing themselves, grumbling darkly as they readjusted their clothing. “Show him in.” Scholar grumbled.
Spike glanced nervously at Veronica, who jerked her head forwards expectantly. He gingerly poked his head into the room, hesitantly darting his gaze between the creator and the creation.
Scholar cocked an eyebrow before grimacing and kneading the bridge of his nose. “How much did he hear?”
“Mental and emotional trauma.” Veronica deadpanned.
“Oh for the love of-!” He moaned, slamming the heel of his palm into his forehead. “Look, Spike, it’s neither personal, nor as bad as it sounds. My dearly beloved daughter,” he ground the words out while shooting a glare at Fran. “Is overreacting. You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“Over-!” Fran hissed incredulously before cutting herself off with a raised hand. “You know what? Fine, fine. But this is on your head, got it?” She pinned Scholar with a glare.
Scholar shook his head in exasperation. “Whatever. Just... get in here please. There’s something very important that I’ve got to discuss with you.”
Spike swallowed heavily before hesitantly stepping into the room.
“Great, thanks. And Veronica-?”
“Guard duty?” Veronica asked flatly.
“Is that a problem or...?”
“No, no, it’s fine...” She waved his concerns off. “The high quality of prisoners makes up for it. Besides, festivals aren’t for me. Enjoy whatever game you’re playing.” And with that, she blurred out of sight.
Scholar blinked in surprise before shrugging indifferently. “Well, alright then. Now then, Fran, if you wouldn’t mind...?”
Fran glared at Scholar furiously for a second before relenting with a weary sigh. “I actually kind of do, but fine.” She marched up to Spike and knelt down in front of him as she fished a tongue depressor out of her labcoat. “Say ‘Ah’.”
Spike blinked in confusion. “Wha-AGH!” He spluttered in protest as Fran stuck the piece of wood into his mouth and held his mouth open, intently inspecting it with a light another one of her hands procured.
“Alright, let’s see...” She mused. Before Spike could react, another of her hands darted out and tapped his throat, causing Spike to involuntarily heave and burp up a flare of flames. Fran jerked her tongue depressor out instantly, intently inspecting the green flames burning on the tip of wood with a few quickly-conjured arrays.
“Hmm... interesting...” Fran muttered as she inspected the results..
“Hey!” Spike protested as he rubbed his throat. “What do you think you’re doing!?”
“Look into this, please.” Fran droned, holding up a hand and generating a bright glyph array.
Spike blinked and rubbed his eyes as the array flashed and resolved into a mirrored image of what he was pretty sure was his own skull. Wow, that was some thick bone around his brain... He really hoped this didn’t say bad things about him.
“Alright, let’s see...” Fran started fiddling with the array, adjusting the angles and zoom. “Normal, normal, norm-Ooooooh dear that’s not right...” Fran trailed off uncomfortably as she stared at an enlarged section of flesh.
“What, what is it? What’s wrong with me!?” Spike grabbed her collar and started shaking her frantically.
“No-o-o-othing!” Fran managed to get out, prying Spike off of her with two of her hands. “You’re fine, perfectly healthy!” She tried to reassure him with a wide smile.
“Are you kidding me!?” Spike demanded.
Fran winced and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Uh...”
“Well, Fran?” Scholar asked expectantly.
Fran rolled her eyes and shot a dark look at Scholar. “Alright, so your hypothesis was correct to a T. Can I go now?”
“You know why I need you to stick around a little longer.” Scholar folded his arms firmly.
Fran grumbled darkly in response, but nonetheless stood up and walked towards the back of the room. “I’ll have no more part in this than I need to. In the meantime, I’ll be going over those implants you sent me.” And with that, she pulled a stone tablet out of her jacket and went to work.
Scholar stared at her flatly for a second before shaking his head and sighing. “Kids these days... Well, anyways...” He focused on Spike. “Let’s talk.”
“About what!?” Spike demanded furiously. “What was she talking about? What hypothesis? What’s wrong with me? What do you want with me!?”
Scholar stared at him blankly for a moment before shrugging. “Alright then... let me start with a question. Spike...” The human readjusted his glasses. “Have you ever thought that you look a bit... weird? In terms of being a dragon I mean.”
Spike froze instantly, his every muscle locking up. After a second, he swallowed heavily and looked away. “W-what do you mean?” He stammered uneasily.
Scholar sighed and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Spike, you’re abnormal and you know it. You don’t have any wings, I bet you’ve barely even grown since you were hatched...”
“P-ponies don’t know a lot about dragons,” the young drake stammered out. “T-Twilight said it could be because I’m part of a subspecies, that this could- is normal. I-I mean...” He looked around uneasily, his voice indicating that Scholar wasn’t the only one he was trying to convince. “It’s been two thousand years, I-I bet that dragons have evolved a lot since then... right?”
Scholar stared at him flatly before letting out a heavy sigh. “Spike... with a lot of other species in this world, you’d be right. But... not with the long-lived ones. Not with the ones whose members can live several centuries or even millennia at a time. Not with the bigger arboreals, not with the titans, not with the island-turtles... and not with the dragons. Evolution can’t even begin to scratch you, not on anything short of geologic timescales.”
Spike swallowed heavily. “But... what about... subspecies?”
Scholar shrugged helplessly. “Smallest subspecies of wingless pygmy dragon is about as tall as I am. And they definitely do not have your musculature, or skeletal structure for that matter. The fact of the matter is... you’re unique, Spike. The only dragon like you is you.”
Spike worked his jaw helplessly for a second before biting his lip and bowing his head. “What’s... wrong with me?” He ground out.
Scholar glanced back at Fran, who met his gaze with a sharp glare before sighing wearily and standing up. She waved her hand, conjuring up a translucent image of a brain. “Biological growth in most organics beings, dragons included, is controlled via a section of the brain known as the pituitary gland. It secretes a cocktail of growth hormones, some specific to each species and some common across many. These hormones, in turn, are what induce the tissues and growth plates of the bones to grow. If the any of these hormones are not produced, the growth of the being in question will be stunted without regular injections from an outside source.”
“This,” she enlarged a section of the brain, highlighting a pair of fleshy bulbs. “Is a healthy draconic pituitary gland. And this,” the image was replaced with a pair of shriveled... somethings. “Is your pituitary gland. As you can see... it’s not healthy, by most anyone’s definition of the word. I’m sorry.”
Spike’s mouth ran dry as he stared at the horrific image before him. “...how?” He finally managed to whisper.
Fran cleared her throat uncomfortably, refusing to look Spike in the eye, prompting Scholar to step forwards. “The reason is twofold.” He explained quietly. “The first is nutrients. Spike... what do you think a dragon’s diet consists of?”
The drake stared at him blankly before speaking. “I... c-crystals?” He barely kept himself from crying when Scholar shook his head.
“It’s a critical part of your diet, and theoretically you can survive on them indefinitely sure, but... It’s just one part. You see...” The Rune Keeper rubbed the back of his head before groaning miserably. “There’s no easy way of saying this, so I’ll just come right out with it: Carnivore.”
Spike’s claws dug into the palms of his hand.
“Sorry, kid, but it’s true.” Scholar shrugged apologetically. “Dragons need iron and protein something fierce. At best, dragons are low-end omnivores who can eat fruits and vegetables. But no matter how you cut it, the fact is that you need meat to function.”
A small cloud of smoke puffed out as Spike took a deep breath and released it. When he spoke, his voice was filled with barely-controlled anger. “And... the second reason?”
“Well...” Scholar grimaced. “As you can imagine, dragons are highly-magical creatures. It courses through their veins, helps them maintain their size and fuel their fire. It’s as intrinsic to them as blood. It’s the whole reason why you and many other species chow down on crystals. See...” He opened his grimoire and projected an image of a spike of quartz. “Crystals are natural energy absorbers. It’s... difficult to explain, a lot of quantum physics is involved, but the long and short of it is that on an energy-level, crystals are just a little bit alive. Normally, they absorb magic like nobody’s business, but... nowadays… Well...”
Scholar spread his hands helplessly.
“There isn’t a lot of magic in the air, is there?”
Spike’s entire body twitched once in a single, rage-filled spasm as his mind forcibly made a connection he had not been wanting to make.
“When little dragons want to get big and strong...” He snarled out through his fangs. “They eat jewels and gems all day long.”
Fran winced in sympathy, while Scholar groaned and dragged his hand down his face. “Ohhhh crap.”
“She... knew...” Spike hissed, fire flaring through his fangs.
“If it’s any consolation,” Fran offered gently. “Celestia wouldn’t have done it without a very good reason.”
“Fran’s right.” Scholar nodded in agreement. “I mean, think about it: Twilight Sparkle hatched and raised you from what I’ve been told, right? Well, dragons grow fast, and I doubt a filly would be able to successfully raise a four-foot long-!”
“Stop. Talking.” Spike growled.
Fran slapped three of her hands over Scholar’s mouth at once.
“What do you want from me?” He demanded, fury rumbling beneath his words.
Fran and Scholar momentarily glanced at each. “Uhhh...” Fran slowly raised a finger.
“Don’t deny it!” Spike roared. “You just poisoned every single memory of my childhood that even remotely involved Celestia. Either your dad’s a sadistic fuck who gets off on the misery of others, or he wants something from me!”
Scholar worked Fran’s hands off of his mouth and gave Spike a flat look. “Let’s start with what I can give you: Your size, your wings, and fire worthy of a steel-mill.”
Spike blinked at Scholar in shock before slowly calming down. “You... I... you can do that? For real?”
“Yes, I can.” Scholar nodded in confirmation, while Fran glared at him and slowly backed away. “But first...” He snapped his Lexicon open and drew an array out of the pages. The circle of runes spun slowly as an image coalesced within the array’s boundaries, showing...
“Rarity!?” Spike sputtered in disbelief as he watched the beautiful white unicorn gush over a painting. “W-what-!?”
“You see Spike, I’ve decided to make a bit of a... tactical decision.” Scholar lectured in an absent-minded manner while he inspected the pages of his book. “See, while I doubt that Celestia will let the Elements of Harmony out of their vault in Canterlot for fear of me getting them, that’s...” He shook his head somberly. “Well, that’s just not a risk I can take. As such, I need to eliminate one of the Element Bearers, and the easiest one to get rid of is her. Sorry, Spike.”
“WHAT!?” Spike yelled in horror. “N-no, you can’t do that!”
“Can, will, have.” Scholar rebutted with a frigid glance. “I already sent the order. Priscilla will be disposing of her in five, four, t-”
“NO!” Spike screamed, flinging himself at Scholar’s feet. “Y-y-you can’t do this, please, please!” He begged frantically as he clawed at his robes. “I’ll do anything you want, anything, just please, please don’t hurt-!”
Scholar suddenly knelt down and snapped his fingers in front of Spike’s eyes, unleashing a small flurry of runes and a bright flash of light.
Spike’s eyes unfocused, causing him to let go of Scholar’s robes. “Vvawha...?” He slurred as he staggered to his feet, casting his gaze around in confuzzlement.
“What the hell?” Scholar demanded in disbelief as he stared at Spike in confusion, the image of Rarity fading into oblivion. “This doesn’t make any sense! He’s infatuated with her, he shouldn’t have-!”
“Shouldn’t have what, Scholar?” Fran demanded frigidly. “Broken down? Pleaded for her life, like any person would do for a loved one?”
“Yes!” Scholar flung his arms wide as he started to pace about furiously, tearing at his hair in frustration. “This isn’t right! You know what should have happened! His reaction should have been completely different! This goes against my hypothesis entirely!”
Fran’s mouth flapped helplessly for a second as she stared at her creator in disbelief. Finally, she flung her arms up in surrender. “I’m done. I. Am. Done.” She marched up to Scholar and poked him furiously in the chest. “I am going back to my manor, so that I can do my job, practicing medicine and actually helping people. Next time you need a quack to help you tear a person’s mind apart for your political agenda?” She grabbed his collar and shoved her irate face in his. “Find someone else.”
And with that, she shoved him back and stormed out of the room in high dudgeon.
Scholar stared after her in disbelief before sighing and adjusting his robes. “Kids these days...”
Spike blinked and shook his head furiously as he cleared the haze from his mind. “Wait, wha... what just happened? I-I think I just zoned out...”
Scholar regarded the young drake wearily, starting to open his mouth before pausing in thought. He slowly closed his mouth as he rubbed his jaw, his mind whirling. Finally, he looked back at Spike, an inquisitive glimmer in his glasses. “I was just about to inform you of a... tactical decision I made.”
“Huh?” Spike stared at him in confusion. “W-what do you mean?”
“Well, see, here’s the thing...” Scholar sighed heavily as he prompted the lingering array to display Twilight Sparkle. “Twilight Sparkle... I know she’s innocent in all of this, truly, but... well, she’s Celestia’s student, and as such her presence here is a dangerous liabili-!”
SLAM!
“-GAH!” Scholar wheezed as ten tons of enraged dragon-fist pinned him to the wall of the chamber.
“DON’T YOU DARE HURT HER!” Spike bellowed in apocalyptic fury, his gargantuan mass filling the room as he shoved his carriage-sized head at Scholar. “NEVER NEVER NEVER HURT HER! OR I’LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD! I’LL KILL YOU!”
“H-hah!” Scholar managed to bite out through a pained grin. “I knew my hypothesis was right! Instinctive emergency transformation brought on to protect a loved one, suck it Fran!” Spike’s bloodthirsty growling snapped Scholar back to the present. “Oh, yeah, right, dragon. Well, Spike, you can suck on this!” He snapped one of his hands out of Spike’s grip and snapped his fingers in front of the dragon’s eyes, conjuring an all-out array of runes that flashed as bright as a magnesium flare.
Spike’s only reaction was to redouble his glaring and growling.
Scholar blinked in confusion and dawning horror before snapping his fingers rapid-fire as he tried to work his book out from Spike’s grip. This lasted all the way until Spike squeezed Scholar harshly, causing him to let out a squeak of pain. “Oh crap...” He noted with increasing concern as his ribs started to creak alarmingly. “Uhh... heheheh...” He grinned winningly. “C-come on Spike! You wouldn’t roast a quasi-innocent old-man, would you!?”
Spike’s only response was to slowly open his jaws, revealing the blistering inferno at the base of his gullet.
Scholar’s pupils shrank to pinpricks. “Ohfuckme... Fran? Little in over my head here Fran, I need some help here! Fran? Fran!” He squawked with steadily increasing panic as he felt the temperature ramp up by a significant factor. “DAMN IT FRAN, HELP ME!”
Spike inhaled a massive lungful of air... then roared in pain and outrage as he felt a series of sharp pinpricks along the length of his spine. He reached back to dislodge this new annoyance and- why was his vision going black along the edges?
THUMP!
Awareness returned slowly to Spike as loud, piercing noises intruded on his blissful sleep. Very familiar piercing noises. Eh, probably Twilight at the end of an all-nighter yelling at her books. Happened often enough.
“- cannot believe you thought this was a good idea! What were you thinking, you moron!? Were you thinking!?”
… That didn’t sound like Twilight.
“Oh come on, you can’t really be that mad! Ow! Okay, yes, you can be! But why?!”
“You drove an adolescent dragon into a bloodthirsty rampage for the sake of proving a hypothesis!”
“A very important hypothesis, critical to the war eff-! GAH THAT WAS MY DAMN RIB!”
“Oh, don’t be a baby. Ribs grow back.”
“THE ABSOLUTE HELL THEY DO!”
“Well, they do with the appropriate modifications at any rate, which I am seriously considering performing right here, right now, without anesthesia.”
Spike announced his return to consciousness with a pained groan, rubbing his temple in an effort to ease his throbbing headache. “What... hit me?”
“Three liters of propofol injected directly into several major arteries that run along your spine.” Fran deadpanned. “How do you feel?”
“Uhh... a little fuzzy...” Spike managed to groan out. “What happened to me?”
“Heh, funny story...”
“Bite this.”
“Say wha-?”
CRACK!
“GAGH- YOW! YOU PUT MY HAND IN MY MOUTH! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?”
“Funny story.”
“Yeah yeah...” Scholar spat furiously before sighing heavily. “Alright, fine. I tricked you into thinking I was going to have Twilight killed so that you would fly into an extreme rage. The emotional high kickstarted your magic and, well, basically made you grow straight to full size in one go. Of course, seeing how the mass was magically-created, once the emotional high, and thus the magic, was gone you shrank back to your normal size. Satisfied?” The last word was spat at Fran.
“No.” She crossed her arms definitively.
“NO!” Spike yelled. “You did what!?”
“Look, will the both of you calm down!?” Scholar demanded as worked his way back to his feet. “This was completely necessary! Look!” He snapped the Lexicon open and caused an array to coalesce above its pages. This array displayed a number of lines that were shifting in size, color and length. “See this? I was recording your magical signature the entire time. I was lucky to actually get anything, seeing how you seem to be ludicrously resistant to magic, probably because of how much harmony you’ve ingested over the years. Now I know what happens in your body whenever that kind of a transformation occurs. And now, I can start looking into a way to induce it without the emotional high, as well as making it permanent.”
Spike stared at Scholar wordlessly for a second before swallowing heavily. “Y-you can do that?” He asked quietly.
Scholar nodded definitively. “Yes, I could...” He snapped his book shut, dismissing the array. “But there’s a catch.” The human scowled the second the drake did. “Hey, don’t look at me like I’m some kind of monster! The country I’m responsible for is going to fight a war! A very uneven, one-sided war at that! Every resource is precious to us, time especially, so as such I can’t spend even so much as a second of what little time we have without thoroughly justifying it! I’d love to make this a charity case for you, and in any other situation I would, but I don’t have that luxury! If I do this, then it has to be because it’s worth my while! Not just for me, but for every person who’s counting on me!”
Spike ground his fangs angrily for a second before crossing his arms in defiance. “I’m not going to join your stupid academy.”
This prompted Scholar to scoff and roll his eyes. “Please, don’t flatter yourself. You’ve got some impressive power, eating gems’ll do that, but no. What I want from you is... information. You control the correspondence that runs between Twilight and Celestia, yes? All I want is a... peek at it.”
“You want me to spy on Twilight!? Are you insane!?” Spike demanded furiously.
“Not on Twilight, you dodo drake, on Celestia!” Scholar flung his arms out in frustration. “I could give a damn about Twilight, what I want to know is what Celestia knows! Just-!” Scholar kneaded the bridge of his nose and took a deep, calming sigh before continuing. “Look, it’s nothing big, alright? I just want to plant a bug in the spell that enchants your fire. That way, whenever the link is used, a copy of whatever is being sent through is sent to me.
“The partnership would last until I managed to find a cure for your... issues. Once I fix you, I’ll remove the bug and you’ll be scott-free. And believe me, I won’t even be able to lollygag because if I did, Fran here would make me pay for it.” Scholar jabbed his thumb at his daughter.
“That I most certainly would.” Fran emphasized darkly.
“So, Spike...” Scholar eyed the young dragon curiously. “What do you think?”
Spike looked the human mage up and down for a second before scowling darkly. “Personally, I think you’re a real piece of work.”
Scholar blinked flatly. “Excuse me?”
“I mean, seriously? You want my help, you’ve got an, uh, incentive in mind, and you don’t even think to just ask me about all this?!” The drake waved his claws energetically. “I mean, you could’ve just said ‘Hey, Spike, I could use your help on something, and I’ll even offer to make you big and strong, I just need to test something real quickly.’ But no, instead you had to use this convoluted scheme to test your hypothesis, in the process scarring me for life and pissing off your daughter! So, are you an idiot or just that much of an insensitive bastard?! Personally, I’m leaning towards the latter!”
Scholar stared blankly at the young dragon in heavy silence for what seemed like eternity.
Fran, meanwhile, swallowed heavily as she slowly backed away from her progenitor. “Ooooh dear...”
Spike blinked at her in confusion...
“That was a mistake.”
Until his focus was snapped back to Scholar, who was looming over him menacingly. His entire being radiated malice and raw, unadulterated rage, the runes floating around him flashing and zipping about angrily, while his glasses shone like twin suns.
“Let me be clear, Spike.” Scholar spat, his voice echoing menacingly. “I don’t choose to do what I do. I HAVE TO!” The boom in volume caused Spike to stumble back in fear, a motion that Scholar was swift to follow. “DO YOU THINK THAT THIS IS AN EASY JOB, HM? MANAGING THE LIVES OF HUNDREDS, OF THOUSANDS, ALL DEPENDING on YOU, ALL NEEDING YOUR GUIDANCE!? I HAVE HELPED THESE PEOPLE, I PROTECT THESE PEOPLE! I HAVE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO ENSURING THAT THEIR LIVES ARE HAPPY ONES, THAT THEIR LIVES ARE PEACEFUL ONES! I WILL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL, AND IF ALL I MUST DO TO ACHIEVE THAT END IS COMMIT A FEW MORALLY QUESTIONABLE ACTS, SO BE IT!”
“B-but you’ve done things as bad as the Princesses! As bad as the people you’re fighting!” Spike protested weakly.
“DO YOU THINK I NEEDED YOUR PERMISSION TO IMPLANT THAT BUG!?” Scholar demanded. “I COULD HAVE SLIPPED IT IN YOU AT ANY TIME AND YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN NONE THE WISER! I CHOSE TO GIVE YOU A CHOICE! I CHOSE TO RESPECT IT, I CHOSE TO POSSIBLY LOSE OUT ON A POSSIBLE WAY TO WIN THIS WAR BY DOING THINGS THE 'RIGHT WAY'! YOU WANT A PERFECT WORLD? A WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS AND HAPPINESS?! THEN FIND A WAY TO ANOTHER WORLD, BECAUSE IT’S SURE AS HELL NOT THIS ONE, AND IT’S NOT ANY OF THE ONES NEARBY! I’M NOT THE GOOD GUY HERE, YOU LITTLE WHELP! I’VE NEVER PRETENDED TO BE THE GOOD GUY, NEVER TRIED TO BE THE GOOD GUY! I’VE JUST TRIED TO BE THE GUY WHO WINS, JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THIS WORLD! AND IF YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN LECTURE ME FOR THAT, THEN SCREW-GAGH!”
Scholar suddenly cut himself off with a cry of pain as he stumbled back, his magic dying as he clutched at his upper-right arm.
Fran hastily ran up to him and started running arrays over his arm, but he waved her off in favor of glaring down at Spike. “I don’t have time...” He hissed. “To debate ethics and morality with a child whose age is only a fraction of my own. I need an answer. Are you in... or out?”
Spike stared up at the human fearfully, a million thoughts running through his mind. Finally... he bowed his head and looked away. “I...” He swallowed heavily. “I will never hurt Twilight. Or her friends. They’re... they’re my family.”
Scholar stared down at him impassively for a second before snorting and striding past him. “Then so be it. A venture lost and time irreversibly wasted. If you’ll excuse me, I have matters to attend to. Fran will escort you out. Oh, and Spike?” He froze in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder at the drake. “Enjoy the party. I imagine it’ll be the last one that Vitrum will be enjoying for a long, long time.”
And with that, Scholar left the room, leaving Spike to stare into the dark.
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Yeah, you can tell everyone's been having a really stressful day.
Poor Trixie...
On that note, huzzah! The story doth live! Keep up the good work, it's doing great by my standerds.
OH, how I feel for poor Trixie
Spike,....... talk about short sighted, and indoctrinated and he wasn't even the most heavily, THAT is Twilight's position but still his part of this chapter was just SAD!
You owe me another set of lungs.
Well...at last we figured out some things.
Spike done goofed methinks.
Scholar is a self righteous idiot. I wish him luck
Ehhh i dont know wich video but isnt that one of the nostaligas critics lines?
6203801 Actually it's a monster from an old movie I think.
wait? ur not ded?
The story is finally being updated again?
PRAISE JEBUS..... so this is what my viewers feel like when I don't update huh?
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i know....
but i have seen the line
This.... the desc showss what i mean
Hmmm, questionable. On one hand, Spike would be helping what is his enemy, but on the other hand the Scholar wants to give Spike something he's rightfully been denied and destroy something that not just him, but the entire planet has biologically suffered for, and his main beef is the one who started that in the first place.
I do feel for Scholar, i really do, he's under more press than our tiny fragile human minds could ever Dream of being able to understand.
I know,
6206322 Rectified, thanks.
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I'm gratified to see we got the reaction we were hoping for with Scholar.
6203870 This story is never dead, per se, but slow...
I think I want to give Trixie a hug now.
Surprised Twilight didn't have a whole spazz about her 'helping the enemy who wants to kill Celestia' and everything once they were alone
"Ribs grow back,"
I'm having trouble getting youtube links to work so it might not.
6206621 Knowledge takes precedence above spazzing.
So the second a child questions his methods, Scholar has a temper tantrum. At a child, who was completely justified in what he said. Going off about how he was right, how he needed to do every bad thing he did, and that he's the good guy of the situation because he gave Spike a choice instead of just doing it to him...
It sounds like he was justifying it to himself there as well. He blew up at a child because Spike said some things that actually got to him, huh? If not, Scholar is acting more like a child than Spike is.
Just found this story yesterday. A few odd chapters here and there that loses focus of the story, but enjoyable to a degree. Still odd how the ponies pretty much repressed the massacre that ensued, but I'll see where it goes. Still not sure if this is a LoHaV story or not, as there seems to be no sign of a Merchant, but featuring Fran and her sisters, as well as the Necronomicon, pushes it a lot closer to that cluster of stories. Fran is already said and done with, existing here, but really wished that Necronomicon was a more original evil. Inspired, sure, but not copy-pasta'd into the story.
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For all his talk about his buddies knocking him down a peg, he seems to be always sure that he is right. The moment his logic is pressed by a kid, seems to break down and really act petulant, yes? Combine the intellect (learning the method to aid Spike) denial for the sake of an agenda with going straight for the ad hominem of "I'm older than you so I know better" made me lose any respect as a supposed intellectual.
What makes me dislike the main character is the hypocrisy in his "harming the innocent" statement. Take the soldiers of the current age, including Shiny. What evils have they committed? Why did they deserve to be mindlessly slaughtered, laughed at by beings powerful enough to take them captive? The rationale of opposition should have only applied to the sealed soldiers who had fought them prior. If 'Tia and Lulu in this universe screwed up Mundus, then let the price be on their heads and theirs alone. Spreading it to the population is just petty.
Still follow the story for now, but the OC main characters do not garner much sympathy from me.
THAT CHAPTER WAS DARK
6206545 but he ALWAYS makes it worth the wait
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The first Ghostbusters movie. When sigourney Weaver's character is possessed.
Nostalgia Critic basically runs with it whenever something nonsensical happens that has anything to do with demons and stuff. It's pretty funny!
Awesome chapter.
6364350 It's the smallest things, I swear... thanks.
I see you're using Dark Souls characters.
Nice. Dark Souls, while flawed, was great.
But do tell, will we be seeing the Team Douchebag in this?
(You know who I'm talking about. A certain dragonslayer and executioner.)
Ok, the idea IS interesting.
The execution however... not so much, had to drop on 20th - something chapter. Hope for improvements in the future.
6399109 I don't want to spoil it, because the events leading up to it are amazing, but there is hope.
Good news, everyone! After a three-month hiatus caused by a combination of work, school, and Xomniac and my collective Attention Deficit Creator Disorder, Resuscitatio has a new chapter on the way! And best of all, we're leaving Vitrum! I'm sure you guys'll be happy about that.
Anyway, chapter should be up sometime this week. Friday evening at the absolute latest.
Ooooooohkay, so Trixie is dead.
Poor Spike, that must've hurt.
Well, fine, just don't forget Archimedes this time.
Scholar almost had me sympathising just a tiny bit again for a minute there. But then we got to enjoy another shouting rant of bullshit and I'm just disappointed again. I know what the intent is, I read the comments. But past the comedy murder chapters that the cast are barely acknowledging, it's hard to give a single fuck about anyone. Particularly someone who unironically says "I could care less" and also claims to be an intellectual.
Scholar is a petulant child. That was something you got across quite well. But at this point it feels like that's pretty much it. Someone playing with a big box of toys. Except the toys are people. People who inexplicably stop complaining about how the person playing with them kills hundreds pretending he cares. Spike is pretty much completely right on all accounts, here. He brought up some very sensible points. Why are so few of the cast doing that? We can't see their thoughts, so at a guess, maybe they're all so completely mentally scarred that they refuse to bring it up. But the reader doesn't know that. We just know that the main six are acting as though the chapters long slaughter you made us crawl through didn't happen. Why did you make us sit through all that if you want us not to care about any of it!?
Honestly it feels like we've had a bunch of the characters change personalities entirely during the fight and now we're expected to treat them as if they're how they were before. New readers should skip those chapters if they want to enjoy this story. Their ongoing effects are making the rest of this look stupid.
If, in the middle of A Christmas Carol, Scrooge and the ghost of christmas future took an hour long break of paying people to stab dogs to death and drank wine while they watched; would we still be expected to feel the same way about them when the story resumed? From then on, every attempt in his part to find redemption would seem like a complete lie. Particularly if he didn't once mention the dog murder from then on.
Well the Scholar has murdered the dogs, so to speak. Now I don't care about him or anyone else who doesn't acknowledge that. It's why Spike stands out in this chapter and why the rest of the cast doesn't. Arguably Applejack had something going previously, but it feels like she was swept under the rug with an easy solution.
Y'know, if the actions of the characters we've seen has the slightest bearing on how things were like in the time of Concordia, the princesses were right. It's not just chaotic, it's sadistic. Can you imagine living somewhere run by a host of immortal, super-powered beings that will willfully order the torturous deaths of scores of sapient creatures? Ones who make comedy out of killing those who literally cannot pose a threat? When those creatures are out there all day, every day, who would not seek some way to drive them out?
At this point, I feel I am being punished for thinking about how people act, when I read some of these scenes. Maybe I should just treat it like a big budget action movie and switch my brain off or something.