Grand Theft Spaceship
Celestia winced and tried to cover her ears with her pillow in a vain attempt to drown out the roaring from overhead. It was fruitless, despite the solid stone walls and triple windows the nightly interruption continued unabated.
It was bad enough that the Crystal Empire had allied with the intimidating Humans, without the disruptive and mostly nocturnal fly-overs of the strange aircrafts that seemed like spitting on the body of a fallen foe. Sometimes she even suspected that the hostile neighbours deliberately instructed the pilots of the craft to ensure that they flew a little over when above the castle.
Looking up at her ceiling with bloodshot eyes, Celestia sighed and finally cast the spell. Immediately the outside sound cut off to silence, a fine golden barrier forming around the very perimeter of her generously sized room.
‘Looks like no sleep for me tonight… again.’
The spell required her to be awake to maintain, but it was almost worth the trade off just for some rare peace and quiet.
Groaning, she lifted herself up from the four poster bed and swung her hooves over towards the edge. Scrambling off in a very unladylike manner, she focused on the writing desk at the opposite wall and trudged over to it with a sigh.
“Might as well get some work done,” she grumbled, her horn lighting the candle that soon flickered its light over the pile of letters that nearly took up the whole desk. Sitting down in the rather comfortable chair, she gave her eyes a brief rub with her wings before getting to it.
“Dear Princess Celestia,” she read out loud. “Is the Crystal Empire still going to attack us? My cousin is in the Guard, and he told me that they absolutely hate us ponies for no reason! Please tell me it isn’t true, how could anyone hate Equestria?"
Sincerely, Maple Fields.”
Taking a second to dip her quill in a pot of ink, Celestia tried to smile while she wrote down her reply on a ready sheet of parchment.
“To my treasured subject, Maple Fields.
In answer to your question, no the Crystal Empire will not attack Equestria. The peace treaty that was reached covered future aggression. As for your second question, it is more difficult to answer. The Crystal Ponies are from a vastly different time in the past and suffered greatly under a cruel tyrant.”
She resisted the urge to take a shot at the more recent ex-Emperor.
“The Changelings are similar, and I’m sure that you know of their recent history with Equestria. However, none of their hate is caused by you or any other pony, so please rest assured that you are not to blame at all. I regret not explaining further, but many other ponies have asked the same question and even I can find myself running short on time these days. Please, if you are ever in Canterlot, do not hesitate to arrive at the castle and have a nice talk with me in person.
Your loving ruler,
Princess Celestia.”
Sighing, she used her magic to carefully roll it up and tie it with a royal-red ribbon. Smiling at the thought of making a slight dent in the many hundreds, she dropped it into the ‘to be sent’ pile and picked up the next one with a tad bit more vigour. It was almost identical to the first, the plain white envelop soon opened and the letter extracted from within.
Celestia’s heart froze when she noticed the print at the top of the sheet.
The small crystal shield was unmistakable, not even taking into account the silhouettes of its pair of changeling and pony bearers. Wondering at what possible torture the letter would detail, she hesitantly began to read with a grimace.
“Hello Celestia and Luna,” the letter began, the extremely casual address already sending alarm bells off in her head. “So, our last meeting was rather abrupt, and I missed out on a great opportunity to, ahem…”
The sinking feeling increased.
“…voice my displeasure with you both. Please understand, my mind may have briefly wandered away from my plan to kill you thanks to a rather telling weakness of mine at the time, but now that I’ve thought about things I can see that it was a rather tacky way to finish our quarrel.”
‘Quarrel?’ Celestia peered closer at the paper to make sure that, yes, that was indeed the exact wording used. Shaking it off, she continued to read.
“I’m actually due back in a few days from now for a little visit (I had a very nice geologist deliver and post a few things for me, hence this letter) and it would be so lovely to invite you two up to the Crystal Empire and really work things out for once and for all. I mean, I could always just have your country obliterated from orbit if you didn’t turn up, but I wouldn’t do that…
…Right?”
‘No. No no no no…’
“Ha, I jest. Swear on my mother. Anyway, I look forwards to the meeting, it should be jolly good fun. Oh, and Reflection sends her regards. I neglected to go into detail in case foals were around when you opened this, so take that as you will.
Regards from your old friend…”
Her breath hitched in her throat.
“Nigel M Chalmers, former Emperor of the Crystal Empire and all-around swell guy.”
She stared at the letter for a full ten minutes, allowing the full horror to sink in. Eyes once again glued to the last sentence, Celestia could only think of one, very unprincess-like, word that perfectly summed up the situation.
‘Fuck.’
A neatly pressed black suit was brushed down by an alien hand, scales shining in the bright lights.
“James, as much as I would like to grant your request for leave, you’ve already taken far too much time off. Besides, the less you continue to associate with the ISA the better. Have you forgotten about the few months that you have already taken, and to bail out the same moron again?”
He continued to stand straight and remained respectful while his boss finished her question, the green-scaled humanoid idly tapping a clawed finger on her desk while she awaited an answer. He immediately thought of how to best word his reply, Lady Ventress not known for her patience.
“Ma’am,” he began, eyes briefly glancing towards the young human child standing off to the side of the well-lit office. The blonde boy was in the process of placing a single red terran rose from one of the many potted bushes into the top pocket of his plain blue shirt, Ventress’ species notable for their adoration of decorating their living and workspaces with all kinds of favoured flora. “I am not going for the precise reasons you expect.”
“You’re leaving to join your old ISA squad-leader on yet another disastrous excursion.” Sighing, she pinched the bridge of her nose and briefly closed her bright-yellow cat-iris eyes. “Have you forgotten that mess I had to pull you out of after you stole a teleporter from a military base? Those Legal curs were about to Hsskna you.”
Ignoring the slip back into her native tongue and the equivalent word for ‘crucify’, he didn’t wavier in his conviction, although he did let out a small sigh of exasperation.
“I know, Ma’am, and I’m grateful for the effort. The problem is that I’m planning to go so I can protect-“
“Protect?” Ventress scoffed, the blonde boy tilting his head but not glancing over at them. “He’s ISA, we both know that any help from you is hardly owed nor needed.” She narrowed her eyes at him, forked tongue briefly flicking out. “Just what is there to lose anyway, one ISA agent at worst?”
He deadpan delivered the answer with the upmost honesty.
“Countless trillions of credits in natural resources, a relatively stable planet in a good tactical position, two to three cities, and a few hundred-thousand innocent lives.”
Ventress stared at him.
“I’m not asking to go for his sake,” James clarified, before sinking in the final nail with a sly smile. “However, I do hear that said planet in question is home to some absolutely striking roses. I could possibly… pick one up on the way back for you as a token of thanks?”
Ventress sighed, before she leaned back in her chair and fixed him with a steady gaze.
“Well, I suppose that you at least had the politeness to try and bribe me,” she mused, James raising a finger.
“Bring you a gift, not bribe Ma’am.”
“So you say,” she dismissed with a disinterested wave. Then, the corners of her mouth curled upwards. “Still, if I were to let you go, I can’t be too sure that we won’t get a repeat of the last time. Should I send Archie to keep an eye on you?”
At that, the boy off to the side turned his head to look at him.
James struggled to repress a shudder when the cold and lifeless blue eyes stared at him, and he tried to focus purely on his smirking boss.
“No Ma’am. I thank you for the concern but I doubt that would be needed.”
He winced as soon as he had said it, Ventress’ eyes narrowing slightly.
‘Bother,’ he thought. ‘I should have remembered that.’
His boss… didn’t take too kindly to being doubted.
“He’s going,” Ventress confirmed with a wide smile. “He needs to get out a little more, and I can’t keep him cooped up in my office forever.” She turned to the child, her fingers tapping together eagerly. “What do you think, Archie? Would you like to go on a trip with James? I heard that the local populace are many different kinds of talking animals from Terran mythology.”
At her words, the boy nodded his head.
“Yes, I like animals.”
‘Oh no, no this isn’t…’ James took a breath, trying to think of ways to avoid the disaster just waiting to happen.
Unfortunately, with his boss waiting for him, there was only one thing he could do.
“Yes Ma’am. I’ll aim to leave in four hours.”
“Plenty of time. Now Archie, if you’d like to gather your things then I’ll organise a transport for you both.”
Archie left the room via the door without acknowledgement, Ventress’ smile dropping slightly. “Relax James, just remain polite and keep him happy and it will go over fine. I’ve been stuck with him for a month now because you’re all too afraid to work with him, so it’s your turn. Consider it the price of leave.” She began to tap her fingers. “Now go and get ready, I’ll have the transport sent to dock five.”
“Yes Ma’am,” he confirmed, turning and heading towards the door.
“And don’t forget my roses,” Ventress reminded, James muttering an insult under his breath.
Roses were the last thing on his mind.
“I will allow you to leave on the condition that you take some time to observe the progress of the crystals. Such beautiful and powerful crystals, glittering and glowing like a million eyes in the sea of the abyss. Crystals, Crystals, wonderful Crystals. Short ones, long ones, blue ones, yellow-“
“Sectemis.”
Elijah continued to smile while the Prime-Seeker’s glowing yellow eyes refocused, the withered husk of a man looking back up at him with a frown. The single candle on the table provided the only light in the murky room, the creaking of the ornate rocking chair occasionally joined by the sounds of scuttling claws in the shadows.
“My apologies, Lead Researcher. I have yet to replenish my energy today, so it is recurring more often than I would like.”
“No problem at all, happens to the best of us.”
There was a toothy grin, Sectemis showing off his yellowed teeth with a dry cackle.
“Ah, yes it does, yes it does. Tell me Elijah, should we… Hades, come here!”
A red ball of scales and spines poked its head out from behind the chair, a set of five beady red eyes peering out from the gloom. Elijah grinned and knelt down, patting his thighs with his gloved hands.
The creature bounded forwards playfully, a tooth-filled maw followed by a six-legged body, and finished off with a writhing and lashing spade-shaped tail. Elijah laughed when Hades ran up and jumped up against the lab-coat covered legs with his hooves supporting him, a long red tongue giving him a sloppy lick on the cheek.
“Hades…” Sectemis muttered with a tone of danger, Hades’ flappy ears picking up immediately. With a disappointed whine, he landed back down on all six cloven hooves and retreated back to his master as commanded. He leaped up and landed in the old man’s lap, and Sectemis didn’t even react despite the rather pudgy creature having enough weight to snap his seemingly frail bones. “I really wish you wouldn’t encourage him Elijah, he’s soft enough already.”
Highlighting the point, Hades rolled over onto his back and let out a happy gurgle when a long and yellowed fingernail scratched his underside.
“He’s fine,” Elijah replied while standing up and brushing the demon-slobber off of his face. “Anyway, you were saying…?”
“Ah, yes,” Sectemis nodded. “As I was saying, if the weight of the offspring is more than fair-“
“No, we were talking about the trip.”
“Yes, the trip!” The yellow eyes glowed again. “I’ll have the servants pack my things straight away!”
Elijah sighed, and Hades looked up while Sectemis clapped his hands together with glee.
“We were talking about my trip,” he clarified gently, his boss immediately stopping his celebrations.
“Oh… but what about the beach?” The eyes lit up once more. “And the girls in bikinis?”
“There is no beach,” he reminded with a roll of his eyes. “Only snow. Besides, it’s more of a work trip after all.”
“Blegh, I hate the cold, makes my feet itch.” Elijah resisted the urge to frown, and instead waited for a clear answer. Sectemis took his time, eyes unfocusing while he continued to rock back and forth.
“Grghrr?”
Both looked down at Hades when he made the curious noise.
“What?” asked Sectemis with a shake of his head.
“Grrg, Grergh.”
“No, of course I’m feeling alright you mischievous little imp! I’m as fit as a fiddle!”
“Rargh!”
“Don’t give me lip about my mental faculties, Hades! I will decide if Elijah goes or not. Naughty imps don’t get dinner, remember?”
While Hades frowned and grumbled to himself, Elijah tried to not laugh at the sight. One of the most feared men in existence was arguing about his sanity with the demonic equivalent of a lap-dog. Still, he did brighten and smile.
Hades had made some good points in his favour, after all.
“I swear, demons these days,” Sectemis grumbled while Hades sulked in his lap. “It is nothing like a few millennia ago, when a whelp would obey its master and not prefer to support his underlings.” Patiently waiting for the rant to finish, Elijah was rewarded when the old man rolled his sunken eyes at him. “Pah, fine. Go and enjoy yourself then.”
“Thank you, wise one,” Elijah bowed, an indignant snort meeting it.
“Cease your pandering. Now, begon!”
Elijah didn’t even have time to stand up before he vanished from the room in a cloud of vile black smog at the snap of Sectemis’ fingers, the old man frowning while the imp in his lap let out a bout of high-pitched giggling.
“Shut it,” Sectemis ordered with a smack on Hades’ nose, the imp glaring up while rubbing his snout with a hoof. “Remember what I said… I said…” His rocking paused for a second, before he resumed with a smile.
“I want to go to the beach. Hades, pack your swim trunks.”
The imp looked up with complete confusion, right as the old man let out a menacing chuckle that reverberated around the huge room. It seemed to echo around on more than just the audible level, and was quickly answered by a thousand other voices all cackling in evil unison.
Then, as quickly as he had started, Sectemis stopped laughing immediately and looked towards the opposite end of the table.
“Wait, where did Elijah go?”
Edinburgh frowned when he spotted the two figures approaching through the crowd, easily identifiable thanks to the black quadrupled trotting along at the human’s side. He sighed before gesturing with his head towards the two black-suited ISA agents at his side, the bodyguards moving off towards the sides to give him some space.
He already knew what they were going to request, and to be honest he was surprised that they were actually going to ask him rather than just taking off.
‘Maybe Miss Reflection will help instil some sense in him after all,’ he wondered, briefly examining the approaching changeling. He had good reason for expecting the best from her; after all he had been the one to officially sign their legal marriage forms for them.
She was dressed in some plain blue shorts and a shirt, and Edinburgh smiled when he remembered the irritated comments she had made regarding the revelation that just using a tail to cover one’s genitals was not exactly considered adequate in her new society.
Nigel on the other hand was dressed similar, except he had changed out the shorts for some plain cream-coloured pants.
Spotting his bodyguards watching the approaching pair carefully, he caught the agents’ attention and gave them the hand signal for ‘coffee, now’. Without complaint they melted into the spaceport’s crowd with the important mission, and Edinburgh moved towards a relatively empty area of the platform.
“Hey Sir,” Nigel greeted with a smile and a wave as he got close. “How was your meeting with the Emperor?”
“Fine, he is rather pleased with the news of the new gems that your friends have been sending us. Research was having the time of their lives attaching them to all sorts of things.” He smiled down at Reflection, the changeling returning it. “Also, he wishes you both the best. And…” his smile faltered slightly when he looked back at Nigel. “He also said for me to pass along that you’ve ‘scored another point’, Chalmers.”
“Point?” Reflection frowned at Nigel. “What does she mean by a ‘point’?”
‘Well, how to explain this one politely?’ he thought, right as Nigel was floundering with an attempt to respond. Stepping in to save his subordinate, Edinburgh suppressed a wince when the ticked-off changeling looked at him.
“The current Emperor, ah…” he began, adjusting his spectacles with a finger. “Is rather well known for his… exotic tastes in many aspects of life.”
“As am I, on a lesser scale,” Nigel joined in with a glance. “So, when the Emperor learnt that I was with you… uh…”
“It’s a compliment,” Edinburgh assisted. “Nigel has been given a ‘point’ for choosing an interesting partner in the Emperor’s eyes.” Both men let the information sink in, Reflection thankfully relaxing with a small smile.
“Oh, that’s okay then.” There was a second of pause. “Wait, I thought you said ‘another point’?”
“So, Boss,” Nigel suddenly addressed. “We were actually planning to ask you something really important.”
“That’s right,” Reflection added, either forgetting the previous conversation or just deciding to let it go. “It’s a fairly simple favour, and it would mean so much to me and Nigel if you said yes.”
“Ah,” he replied. “I see.”
“Yes, it’s to do with-“
“Returning to the planet and thusly the Crystal Empire,” he finished. “My answer is no. You’ve both had a month of relaxation in ISA funded resorts, and I need Chalmers back on assignment.” He focused back on Reflection. “You are allowed to go by yourself, of course, but I do recommend that you begin looking at your future career within the Empire. I have numerous universities ready to properly integrate you into working society, and Chalmers can assist you in his time off.”
He made to walk away, spotting his two guards over at a JupiterJava™ stall. The crowd parted for him with wary glances, the silver skull badge on his suit almost like a repellent. They didn’t follow from the sounds of it, and he smiled to himself as he approached the stall.
‘Well, that was easier than expected.’
“Sir?” one of his agents asked him. “We haven’t even ordered yet.”
“It was much shorter than expected,” clarified Edinburgh with a look towards the server behind the counter. Dressed in a garish orange and yellow shirt and hat, the blue-skinned and four-armed Melonian teenager seemed unable to take his wide green eyes off of the skull.
His name tag identified him as Steve.
“I’ll have a large latte, no sugar please.”
The boy nearly jumped out of his skin, Edinburgh raising an eye at him in response.
“Y-yes Sir!”
He quickly got to work, Edinburgh allowing himself a slight smile while his much-needed coffee was swiftly prepared.
It took a few minutes, but it was understandable why. The server took the upmost care with the preparation, ensuring that the coffee was perfect, the level of milk was perfect, and that not a single grain of sugar even sat within a meter of the hot beverage. Edinburgh didn’t mind the slight wait, pleased that the worker was taking due care with his drink.
“One Latte, no sugar.” The relieved sigh was accompanied by the tall latte being carefully placed down before him. Hesitantly, the server tapped his long fingers on the counter. “That’s four credits.”
Already prepared, Edinburgh reached a hand into his jacket pocket. The server froze before relaxing when he saw that it was only a credit chip, and with one movement it was swiped over the bench mounted reader and returned to the pocket. The machine beeped an affirmative, Edinburgh grasping his coffee and moving to take a long awaited sip.
Unfortunately, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him interrupted his chance.
Sighing and preparing himself to argue further with Chalmers, he turned and rolled his eyes.
Only to find that it wasn’t his subordinate, but instead a short and pudgy man dressed in the blue uniform of a civilian freight company.
“Yes?”
“Uh, hi,” the man greeted, adjusting his blue cap on his head with a hand. “Look, I was told that you were with the ISA,” the man’s eyes focused on the silver skull icon.
Edinburgh did not like where this was going. “I am, quite high up in fact.” The two bodyguards stepped forwards to make their presence known, hands going into their jackets.
It wasn’t the first time that someone had tried to assassinate him while he was buying coffee.
The man shrunk down even further, and slowly held out a datapad towards him. “Forgive me, Sir. I-I don’t mean any harm or nothing, but this ISA agent and this four-legged alien thing just commandeered my ship and told me to give this message to ‘the ISA dude in the suit by the JJ’. They said that you’d explain to my bosses why.”
“What?” Edinburgh snatched the datapad and peered at it, his mouth twitching at what he read.
“Dear Assistant Director,” it started. “I.O.U one freighter.”
“Son of a whore,” Edinburgh muttered under his breath, the awaiting delivery pilot wise enough to not say a word.
‘That idiot!’
“Do you want us to retrieve them?” one of his agents asked, Edinburgh considering his options for a moment before shaking his head.
“No,” he replied before he handed the datapad back to the pilot. “Let them go, I’ll deal with them both when they get back.” Taking a swig of his coffee, he glanced back at the nervous man. “I’ll square things with your boss and arrange a ‘bonus’ of a few thousand credits if you don’t mention this to anyone else.”
“Deal, I won’t tell a soul.”
There was no hesitation, Edinburgh nodding with satisfaction.
At least some people knew their place in things.
‘Now what hellhole can I send Chalmers to when he gets back to ‘repay’ him for this?’ he wondered, gesturing with a hand for his guards to follow while he moved towards his own personal shuttle.
‘I hear that the Gestima warzone is particularly acidic this time of year…’
“Just throwing it out there, I’m not a fan of this idea.”
Reflection glanced back at the small ship’s airlock door as she voiced her concerns, before looking back towards Nigel just in time to see him hit a series of buttons on the crowed control panel. From beneath and behind them came a gradually increasing hum, screens flickering to life around the small cockpit. Finally the see-though material that made up the front viewport lit up with a faint blue light, yet more information and flight data starting to cover it.
“It’s either steal a freighter and make our way back for a quick visit, or stay here to study and work immediately.”
“But won’t your boss be mad?” She fumbled with the safety strap on the co-pilot’s chair, before giving up when it wouldn’t fit her form. Besides, she’d learnt a fair amount over the past month and knew that almost all ships had other safety means in case of a crash. “He was pretty clear on what he wanted.”
“Oh, he’ll be absolutely pissed.”
She stared at him, the craft beginning to lift up from its docking spot. “That’s not reassuring at all.”
“You worry too much,” Nigel replied while he entered in their course and started to leave the spaceport’s hanger. “I’ll cope the blame since you’re an innocent newcomer that doesn’t know any better, I’ll get yelled at in his office, he’ll probably send me to some shithole for a few months-“
“A few months!?”
“Hey,” he placed his hand on her shoulder. “You knew it was going to be like that, long periods of me being away and all. I’ll buy us a nice house on a decent planet, you’ll have a whole lot of education to keep you occupied, and I’ll make an effort to call whenever I get the chance.” She mustn’t have seemed too convinced. “Let’s just enjoy this trip back. It’s a few day’s travel after we make some stops and then a week or two in the Crystal Empire, then we can deal with the consequences when we get back.”
“I thought it was going to be longer to get there? Isn’t it some huge distance away?”
He chuckled, the heavy hanger doors slowly opening to let them out into the blackness of space. “Almost all of the travel time is going to be flying there from the nearest military transporter gate. I’ll flash my ISA credentials, give them a smile, and we’ll be cruising. If we’re lucky, they might even give us a ride over on one of the faster military ships.” He paused. “We are stopping at a few places along the way though, to pick up the others.”
“We’re bringing all of them?”
“Yes, even Orthodox,” he pre-empted. “He’s waiting for us at the next stop, then it’s James and Elijah. After that, I’ve got to find someone to deliver a letter for me…”
Reflection just shook her head and let it drop. Sitting back in her chair, she sighed as they shot out into space. “Are we at least going to visit Equestria like you promised so I can mock them?” She looked over when he didn’t reply right away, Nigel wearing a grin that she knew meant ‘trouble is going to be caused’.
“Not quite,” he answered with a small chuckle. “I assure you though, we’ll both have a perfect opportunity to let those Princesses know exactly what we think of them…”
“So your boss-lady made you bring him along?”
James glanced down towards the impassive boy sitting next to him on the row of plastic benches before looking back towards Orthodox.
“She did.”
“Why?” Orthodox leaned over from the other side and peered at Archie. “He’s just a kid.” The cold eyes turned to look at him, Orthodox meeting them evenly. “And a creepy one to boot, like something out of one of those old Terran horrors that Chalmers loves.” There was another brief pause. “You have a twin or something, boy?”
Before James could stop Orthodox from opening up a world of hurt and regret, Archie spoke.
“Please stop. You are annoying me.”
The request was flat and toneless, Orthodox narrowing his eyes while his claws extended out a tad further. “Or what? You going to pull a slingshot out of that bag of yours and shot me with it?”
Archie didn’t even glance back to the small brown-leather bag at his side.
“I will make you stop working.” One of the boy’s fingers twitched. “If you don’t stop, you’ll stop working.”
It was certainly time to step in. True to form, Orthodox was just about to fire back and likely get himself splattered across the small spaceport’s walls. James had a few options to prevent it from happening, but with Orthodox about to open his mouth he went for the quickest choice.
His fist lashed out and nailed Orthodox on the snout, the ISA agent reeling back before clasping his hands to his now-bleeding nose.
“Fuck! James you complete prick!” James didn’t wavier while Orthodox glared at him with his tail twisting erratically in the air like a striking snake. “What the fuck was that!?”
“Shut it you fool!” he hissed back at Orthodox, Archie watching them both with confusion. “Level Four, a Level Four!”
At first Orthodox didn’t get it. “A what? James, you punched me in the nose you fucker! Why should I give a shit about a fucking ‘Level Four’ or whatever the fu…” he trailed off when he finally understood. “You’re kidding, aren’t you only a Level Two?”
“Correct,” James confirmed with a forceful nod. “Which is why you are going to shut up, sit down, and wait patiently for our transport without screwing things up anymore, understood?” Grumbling in response, Orthodox gave Archie a final glare and actually did what he was told. Ignoring the crossed arms and the tail that was currently scratching up an adjacent chair, James pulled back the sleave of his grey dress-jacket to check his watch. “Are you sure Chalmers gave you the right time?”
“Yep,” replied Orthodox, as harsh as he was curt.
“…And we’re at the right Spaceport?”
“That was one time! Once!”
“Twice,” James mumbled to himself, before an answer was provided from one of the concealed speakers in the ceiling.
“Attention you three, there’s a civilian freighter pulling into hanger four. We’re not expecting them, so it might be yours from the sounds of it.”
‘A freighter? Out at this supply post?’ Standing up, James picked up his plain black suitcase and looked towards the indicated hanger doors. Beside him, Archie followed with small brown bag in hand after dusting down his simple blue suit. Orthodox wasn’t carrying anything, knowing him he was planning to just steal anything that he needed while on their trip.
Leading the way, James moved across the empty waiting area and pressed the button to open the door leading to Hanger Four, the hiss of air sounding before it slid into the wall. Stepping through into the cramped but tidy area, he paused when he saw the civilian freighter decorated with blue company logos.
“On the topic of stealing,” he said to himself, glancing back to his two companions. Orthodox and Archie having fallowed him through the door.
Still, there was no time to stand around and worry about the method that Nigel used to acquire the ship. The outer airlock door of the bluish-grey, bullet-shaped vessel was already open for them with a ramp leading up to it. Taking the lead, he entered the ship and awaited for his companions to do the same.
Orthodox was the last in, the outer door closing with a clunk before the inner barrier slid open to allow access to the ship.
The first thing he noticed upon stepping out was the low ceiling, James having to duck to avoid braining himself on the metal. The second was the mass of loose cargo crates secured by mag-lock to the floor, likely overflow from a full cargo bay. Wincing at the sight of the single and small, barely-made sleeping bunk built into the opposite wall, he continued on down the small corridor on his way to the cockpit.
He passed doors leading to a small bathroom and a small kitchen, a thankful requirement for all long-distance vessels. Still, the lack of space was going to be an issue, especially when the extra passenger was factored in.
He emerged out into the cockpit, and was immediately greeted with a hug around his legs.
“Agent James,” Reflection said with a smile upwards. “It’s good to see you again.”
“I can say the same,” he replied with a matching smile. “Did you enjoy your time?”
“Not the first few weeks, but the month and a half after were some of the best fun I’ve had so far.”
“Glad to hear it,” he chuckled, glancing over towards the man watching them with a grin from the pilot’s chair. “Nigel, how are things?”
“Decent,” Chalmers nodded. “We’ve got a ship and a course, now all we need is to pick-up Elijah and we’re set.”
“About that. Just how did you get this ship, anyway?”
“Uh… my boss lent it to me?”
James nodded, knowing that the line of conversation wouldn’t get anywhere. Besides, right after Orthodox sulked into the room without so much as acknowledging the now-wary changeling, Archie stepped in and became the focus.
“Oh, hi…” Nigel began, glancing up towards James. “Have you been hiding a kid all these years?”
“I am of no blood-relation to Agent James,” Archie clarified, only causing Nigel to re-double his questioning look.
“Oh, then who are you then? My name is Reflection, I’m a changeling.” The unsure equine extended a hoof, Archie staring at it for a few moments without a single change of expression. Reflection soon glanced back at him, James praying that she wouldn’t take offence.
“My name is Archibald, but you may refer to me as ‘Archie’,” the level four psionic finally said. “You are a changeling? I have not heard of a ‘changeling’ before.”
Reflection was frowning slightly, the changeling having taken a step back from the boy. “I’m… ah, from the planet we’re going to visit. I’m with Nigel.”
Archie directed his unblinking stare towards Chalmers, the ISA Commander giving a small wave. “Yo.” Archie returned to staring at the uneasy Reflection, Nigel leaning over towards James and lowering his voice to a whisper. “James, what’s the deal?”
“Level Four, Ventress wants him to keep an eye on me… and you.”
“Level Four? James, you brought that along with you!?” Nigel hissed. “I don’t exactly have legit plans once I get back to the Crystal Empire, so a psionic capable of ripping me to shreds is not appreciated!”
Brushing aside the mention of ‘plans’, James raised a calming hand and lowered his own voice. “I had no choice but for him to accompany me, it was orders. Besides, he will not interfere unless you threaten the safety of UIP assets. Keep any of your grievances with Equestria’s rulers to a reasonable level and it will go easily for you.”
“Fine,” Nigel grimaced, before gesturing out with his arms. “Take a seat all, there’s plenty of crates and space. It’ll be cramped but we’ll stop along the way every now and then and it will only be for a few days.”
James placed his briefcase down and moved to take a spot on the crate, ensuring to pick one next to Archie so he could keep an eye on the dangerous being. Reflection had already retreated to the pilot’s chair, leaping up to share it with Chalmers with an occasional glance towards the silent psionic.
‘When will I learn?’ he mentally asked himself, right as the ship’s engines hummed back into life.
Nigel finished off the last of his caffeinated softdrink with a sigh, before placing the empty cup down by his seat to join the rest of the discarded fast-food wrappings. Outside, there was nothing save for the stars, this leg of the journey a fairly boring one. There was no built-up military presence in the next system save for a few anti-piracy patrols, so they had to resort to using one of the civilian shipping lanes.
It was slow going thanks to the freighter’s low-budget hyperdrive, so he’d elected to remain awake while the others slept. Well, aside from the Level Four Psionic, who was currently sitting in the co-pilot’s chair and staring ahead.
‘Of course he looks like he’s twelve as well,’ he thought, before a light snore diverted his attention downwards. He smiled and gave Reflection’s mane a gentle pat, the changeling peacefully curled up on his lap. She had refused to move from it since the others’ arrival earlier that day, and it was plainly obvious that the apparent child was the reason.
Secretly, he wondered if Reflection could somehow sense something sinister thanks to her race.
He didn’t need any special sense to know that there was something more to the eye. A Level Four psionic was scary, based on the rare few he had witnessed at work, but adding in his youthful looks just made him doubly sure to be extra polite and respectful to the little tyke.
Children were scary enough, certainly so after Reflection had been hinting at wanting some nymphs of her own sometime down the track.
Pushing the thoughts of children out of his head, he glanced back at James. Orthodox had taken the small bunk in the back, leaving James to sleep sitting down against the back cockpit wall. Seeing that the grey-suited man was pretty well out of it, he looked back towards Archie.
“So… do you like gladiators?”
“I’m sorry?” the reply was flat and toneless.
“Nevermind,” Nigel muttered, before trying to think of something else to talk about. “Uh… so have you been to many other planets?”
“Yes.”
Nigel waited for more, but that was all that was said.
“You killed anyone yet?” He leaned forwards slightly, sure that it would deserve a more detail ans-
“Yes.”
‘For fuck’s sake,’ he gave up. Shaking his head and leaning back into his chair, he just directed his attention out of the front viewscreen. A few minutes passed in silence.
“That changeling is attracted to you. Why?”
He frowned at the question and glanced over towards the boy, making sure to avoid eye-contact. “Because I’m awesome?” All he received was the same blank look, so he clarified. “I don’t know, her species wasn’t really well-liked where she was from, so I suppose that she warmed up to me because I treated her pretty well.” He hummed, one hand rubbing Reflection’s mane again.
“But there is no biological imperative.”
“What?”
“There is no biological chance of offspring,” Archie clarified… sort of. “You are different and incompatible species, so it does not secure the survival of either species and generates nothing of value.”
Chalmers stared at Archie, the boy genuinely seeming to have not one clue. Already coming to the conclusion that pointing out the concept of love wasn’t going to be successful, he just went for the obvious question.
“Are you an android?”
Archie continued to stare. “No, I am human.”
“You sure?”
‘I’m pretty certain that at this point even Orthodox is more human than you.’
“I am certain.”
Nigel was just about to dispute the point further, before he was interrupted by a rather out-of-place burst of smoke. The thick black cloud, right behind Archie’s chair, disappeared almost as soon as it had arrived. In its place was a bowing figure in a grey lab coat, Nigel recognising Elijah instantly when the scientist slash evil-magician stood up and looked around.
“What a stroke of good fortune,” Elijah commented while wiping a smidge of dirt from his glasses. “He managed to be right on target this time, and in the same dimension as well. Marvellous!”
“Elijah,” Nigel greeted with a smile, by this point in time not really surprised by anything his friend said or did. “Nice of you to pop in, but you’re lucky you didn’t set off the smoke detectors and wake everyone.”
Elijah glanced over towards James, grinned at the sight of Reflection, and then tilted his head when he laid eyes upon the still-silent Archie.
“Curious, very curious indeed…”
“Blame James, he probably went and pissed off his boss.”
Elijah gave him a sideways look. “Really? For the life of me I can’t think of any reason that anyone would take offence to our jaunty absence.”
“Your boss didn’t seem to have an issue with it.”
“My boss,” Elijah began, before pausing for a brief second. “…has much on his mind. I was only granted permission after promising to check up on certain things.” He looked around before taking a seat upon an unoccupied crate to the left of the cockpit. “But forget that for now, the important thing is that I’m here.”
“Yay…” Nigel said with a roll of his eyes.
“I have much to do though, apart from my duties. I wish to see how Chrysalis has improved, follow up certain things with Rainbow Horse…”
Nigel shook his head while Elijah drifted off into thought. Now they only had to travel back to the Crystal Empire and enjoy themselves. Cheering up, he found himself smiling at the thought.
He had already written a list and everything.
The ship continued its journey past the stars, a single planet just on the edge of UIP-controlled space being the final destination.
It had been two months of peaceful quiet.
Things were about to get loud.
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The Nigel train has no breaks!
hahahaha, Archie has a great sense of humor. i can tell
red or blue rainbow horse, red or blue?
Level Four Psionic meet Pinkie Pie, you to have Fun!
6565825
I have a feeling that would end in blood, lots of blood.
Actually, have you seen the movie Looper?
Like that but on a planet-wide scale.
Hahahahahaha, yeah, let's tempt fate. It never went wrong before. Hahahahahaha.
I smell a sequel coming up.
And let's hope the shitty, other worldly government assholes keep out of it this time.
Hmmmmmm...
Thank you for continuing.
Dropbear Your stories bring joy to my hearth. I love your sense of humour
This "Archie" fellow worries. I've seen a lot of anime that has this type person in it...
Other than that it's a good chapter. Nice seeing everyone's respective higher-ups and getting the gang back together for one more grand equestrian finale :)
6565753 CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER!
I want to say Archie and Maud would get along well, but I have the feeling Maud will find him too emotionless.
6565984 Is that a pony on the tracks? OH SHIT! THAT'S A PONY ON THE TRACKS! *thunk* Oh, wait, not anymore...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
11:58_25/10/2015
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
EEEE More Nigel!!
While I liked the original ending, I can never complain about more of this story.
Also Elijah's boss
... I like him.
Too bad he probably won't play a bigger role in the story.
Elijah's Boss strikes me as being something like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's 'The Ruler of the Universe'
Let's see how much technology the Crystal Empire has managed to get and build on in two month's time. Within a year they'll be able to make scientific jokes about the size of the sun and Celestia's flanks
This smells to problems... Let's hope that Discord don't awaken again... Or they find "Princess" Twilight Sparkle and the reformed Discord.
Three words... Archie vs Pinkie.
I was hoping for this fic to continue, but if the next chapters will be as confusing as this one, I don't think I want to continue. So many short POV switches.
Oh I think I'm gonna like Archie!
I'm glad to see this one continuing, and I hope we get more time with Elijah and Chrysalis
6565841 i hope so too or he/she makes a new fic about the crytal empire which actually isnt an empire but it is an town state
Time to see what will happen. *large grin* and see how things will go.
Aww yeah more of Nigel!
6569060
Of course there would be more Chapters don't you remember I lost his rug so he needs a new one, and the place to get the most comfortable rug is.... (you get three guesses but the first two don't count)
You know i wonder how much corruption is on the justice system since they always get out with no serious punishment
6569622 military assets, people that can beat your ass to bits and being a spook has it's benefits.
May this story never end.
Ps. How many mind trick levels are there and what sets each higher level apart from the previous?
Weeee all caught up on these 2 stories, I'm really enjoying your stories Drop Bear and Nigel is my hero.
I do wonder about Tia in this story though, she says she was trying to do the right thing and made a mistake.
I could understand that reasoning if she had only banished Nigel, but the rest of what she did really doesnt come under the 'mistake' catagory which leaves me with a question. Who was she trying to do "the right thing" for?
-The Elk
While yes she did save the lives of the retreating Elk that day they're on a mission from god to destroy the Crystal Empire, they will likely be back again once they've recovered from their defeat so further blood shed will be on Celestia's hooves.
The right thing by the Elk would have been to send Luna with a number of equestrian guard to the Elk on a peace keeping mission.
-Nigel
So reasoning failed in stopping Nigel from finishing off the Elk, Tia possibly saw the part of him Luna was affraid of and "banished" him which to anyone else would likely have been a death sentence. Why was it straight from reasoning to banishment and no attempt to subdue him?
Could they not have stunned him and later used the elements to remove the demon like they did with nightmare moon?
-The Empire
After sending Nigel to hell they invaded the empire suddenly being very liberal with the stun spells that they didn't bother using on our hero, this directly caused the deaths of injured ponies and changelings when they arrested/subdued the medics (more blood on TIa's hooves).
They then occupied the Empire arresting the existing officials and installing a proxy dictator who had clear bias against a large portion of the inhabitants.
Even after it was clear that the Empire would not accept Equestrian rule they sent out the elements to find a way to bring the empire to heel rather than restoring their government.
-Equestria
Celestia got her niece a country to rule, with large mineral and crystal wealth as well as possible access to the technological advances made by Nigel. Yup you were definately trying to do the right thing there princess
Celestia's letter in this chapter should have read Dear citizen,
We invaded their country twice, and stole the artifact which allows the changelings to live freely and their crops to grow. The human leader who wanted revenge for what I did to them has left to rejoin his own people and the Crystal Empire only wants to be free. With the crystal heart returned to them and peace treaty signed they are no longer a threat to Equestria.
Now there's a line to end this story on if there ever was one.
All I could think of when Celestia read that letter was this.
*breaks door down* IT LIVES
I really want to see elijah have another meeting with rainbow dash, that would be hilarious.
Miss Dash, Red or blue?
Took over a week starting with the first story, but I finally made it here. I'm glad that this is continuing. While it's a shame that Nigel is no longer emperor but with the upcoming well deserved overdue revenge will make up for it. I am curious as to why Nigel all of a sudden decided to get his revenge after making peace and has been enjoying life with his wife since then? Not that I'm complaining, I've been waiting for this moment since the first chapter. I just want to know what caused this to happen?
Ha that was epic
So I love dropbear and his writing it keeps me nice and fuzzy inside and this doesn't disappoint its like lord of the rings with archie as the asshole elf!!!.....lizard guy is frodo though.
6651023
It's probably because I am unable to see Celestia ever actually agreeing with the way my main characters act. I mean, they are bastards most of the time.
I like this story. A lot. But one thing has been bugging me, what ever happened to the Equestrians that were rescued and live in the Crystal Empire before everything went to hell? We're they giving special amnesty and allowed to stay? Or were they thrown out with the rest of the litter?
6719542
It mentions that most returned to Equestria, but naturally the ones that stayed weren't treated with hostility.
6719968 I must have forgot about that part then. I was just worried that the the Crystal ponies' hatred towards Equestria may have blinded them a bit.
All aboard the rape train! Choo Choo!
Nice story, bruh.
Begon - Be Gone
HA! I finally got it! This story is like a copy of mass effect. Commander Shepard, dragon like Grunt, scientist Mordin Solus, a black man (no offense) Jack. All are very familiar but humanized. And Grunt is a bit smaller. Ha i figured, hope that no one already posted crap like this 'cause i didin't read other comments.
6999677
Well, simply because he was so arrogant that he didn't even register them as a threat. I mean, they didn't even play a part in his initial banishment.
7019329
Oh god...
That's almost as much as a threat as the one guy who wanted to animate it. The world is simply not ready.
Still, I won't stop you.
7019351
After finishing this...imacculate story I have realised seething.
You must be insane.
This story reflects that as well as reflection herself.
I'm scared to think of how you came up with elijah.
And more afraid of 'archie' still. Unless I actually have YOU to personally help.
And until I get done with presser and learn to manipulate moving images.
We really can't make this worlds greatest series thing.
I was thinking along the lines of a cartoon anime like...thing...whatever they are called.
Or just a very livid comic. Preferably the orthodox anx discord ones first.
7030644
Ah... okay?
"Do you like gladiators?" // I believe the line is "Timmy, do you like movies abut gladiators?" - /Airplane/
Shame there's no more chapters but i loved the story and at least it had a good ending point in the previous chapter