Rainbow Dash is widely known for her propensity for pranks. While seeing an unsuspecting Anonymous the human in the outskirts of Ponyville, Rainbow decides to hit him with classic from her arsenal, the ol' lightning stomp prank. It's simply really, she's played it on tons of ponies before.

Rainbow didn't think Anon would get hurt. She didn't think he'd become paralyzed. It was supposed to be a harmless prank!

'What have I done?!

Officially Featured March 1st 2023

Anonymous, asshole extraordinaire and a rotten egg by all accounts, has fallen on good times after being made a commander of the Storm King's vast armies. With the King's forces and equipment at his fingers, he's found great success conquering nations, sowing chaos, and kicking the asses of all walks of life. All while having a rip-roaring great time doing it.
But the day of the Storm King's biggest conquest to date - the nation of Equestria - looms just around the corner. All that's left now is the final few preparations for the invasion: loose ends to tie up, new weapons to seize, and even some co-commanders to annoy to no end. And once those are complete, Anon will be the first in line to take Equestria as his next conquest.
God help us all.

This isn't the first horse story I've written, but it is the first one that is prose instead of greentext. And I'm still a bit rusty on top of all that. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

For the longest time, Celestia had spent Hearth's Warming Eve the same way.

Alone.

Well, at least until a certain purple filly comes along.

After several jumps go wrong, Anon lands himself, er, herself into another land of colorful equines. This time stuck for an entire year before being able to continue on her quest of returning home.

Question remains, will Anon want to?

Proofread and edited by PseudoBob Delightus and Discombobulated Soul

Starts shortly before season one. More character tags will be added as they become relevant.
Includes a grumpy former human.
Dark tag for flashbacks.
Violence tag for flashbacks, mentions of past violence and the second chapter and tenth chapter
Will there be cake?
Maybe?
Maybe includes cake.

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

This story is a sequel to Sniffles

Having recovered from the lowly sabotage that had seen her briefly bedridden, The Queen and her thoroughly useless human servant can now proceed with vengeance, domination, victory and all other things that come naturally to her.

Events conspire to make this difficult.

This story is a sequel to Bedbound (And Beyond)

More settled now, and with all of that obliviousness cleared out of the way, John and Celestia attempt to work out a comfortable rhythm in life and generally just try to enjoy themselves in their own singular way.

Possibly there may be obstacles in this. Probably not though.

Probability of cake, tea and cuddling. Among other things.

You wake up in a land where magic is real and sapient ponies have built a civilisation. Being from a different universe, you have no understanding of their language or laws, but you're happy to have found yourself in the friendliest town there is. Good luck building a new life as their favourite... monkey thing.

This story is a sequel to Mistakes were made

With the local human having ceased wandering and causing ruckus he attempts - with Twilight's ever-patient assistance - to calm down, make it up to those that he needs to make it up to and generally live his best his life.

His greatest obstacle in this, as with most things post-arrival, is his towering neurosis.

And maybe the uncomfortable fact that he can't stop growing larger and more resilient with each passing day. And that not being belligerent to the wildlife gives him sufficient time to fully contemplate the breadth of his situation as a lone and isolated example of his kind in a world entirely not his own, try as he might to just ignore it and stop his brain from eating itself with irritating doubts and fears.

Other than that he's having a whale of a time.