The ringing in your ears is the first of your senses to return, and it’s the only thing you can focus on. It’s like the warning signs of tinnitus amplified by a thousand. It feels as though a gunshot went off right in front of you and you weren’t able to cover your ears in time. It hurts, it hurts in a way you’ve never felt before.
‘What’s going on?’ You think to yourself. You try to massage your ears with your hands, but you can’t tell if you actually accomplished the task or not. Everything is numb, you can’t feel your fingers clenching or unclenching.
You open your eyes with myodesopsias clouding your vision, as if you had stared into the sun for a brief moment. You try to blink away the fog covering your vision. Again you try to raise your hands to rub your eyes but you don’t see the familiar appendages moving into your line of vision.
‘Why aren’t my arms working?’ You think, becoming more alarmed. Had you slept on them wrong? Were they broken? What happened? You can’t remember anything.
Your vision clears enough to see the color blue. It’s all you can see. Is that the sky? Are you lying down outside? You can’t seem to remember why. Had you been watching the clouds and fallen asleep? As you ask yourself these questions, you see a break in the monochromatic sky as new colors enter your field of vision. Yellow…orange…red…green… that’s all you can make out. You keep blinking away, trying to clear your vision. Eventually you can make out a shape. The colors, you can now see make up the mane of…Rainbow Dash.
That’s right, it’s Rainbow Dash, one of your friends. But what are the two of you doing here? Where you watching her perform some of her aerial tricks? You still can’t remember. You remember yesterday. You also remember the day before that. You even remember waking up today, eating breakfast and then going out to run some errands. But that’s where your memory stops, and hits a blank.
When your vision clears even more, you can see the face of your friend much more clearly. She’s looking down at you with annoyance for some reason. Why? Did you do something wrong?
You try to say her name, but with the ringing in your ears you can’t tell if you were able to say anything coherent. You try to sit up, but your body remains stationary. She’s looking less annoyed now, and more concerned. Your vision shakes as she nudges you with her hoof. You can’t feel the touch, and that’s starting to worry you.
You try to speak again when you smell something odd. You take in a brief sniff and smell something…burning. It smells a little like a chicken breast that’s spent too long in the oven. Judging by Rainbows expression it looks like she can smell it too. She leans her head down and takes a sniff, before leaning back and reaching her hoof down to your chest. You can see your shirt moving into your line of vision as it appears Rainbow Dash is inspecting your bare torso.
‘Why is she doing that?’ When she lowers your shirt back down, she looks horrified, like she’s seen a ghost. That’s not good, that’s not good at all! Apparently something on your chest has caused her great alarm. Are you hurt? Did something happen? You wish you could remember. You try to say something as the Rainbow Dash begins to panic. You can see the worry and anxiety spread from her face to her whole body as she starts prancing from side to side. You think she’s speaking, but again you can only hear the ringing in your ears. You’re starting to panic yourself. You have no idea what’s wrong, only that something is indeed very wrong, apparently with YOU. You’re about to try to speak again, but you don’t get the chance as Rainbow looks down to you and says something you can’t make out. Before you respond, she’s gone, having used her incredible speed to fly away.
‘Wait…don’t go!’ You don’t know if you were able to vocalize that or not. Your heart is starting to race, and you don’t want to be alone right now. You try to think, try to remember what had led to this but you still can’t.
You start thinking to yourself. If you’re so injured, why doesn’t it hurt? Maybe it’s for the same reason you can’t move. It’s not easy to think or make sense of the situation at the moment. All you know is that you’re confused, and possibly injured. You hope it isn’t serious. You hope it can be fixed. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad right? Ponies have magic of course, so there’s nothing they can’t fix right? You’ll be fine, you know you will be.
Then again, Rainbow did look extremely alarmed. But you have known ponies to have just a little less resolution than you when it came to things involving blood, and injury. Things weren’t quite as gruesome here in Equestria as they were back on Earth.
There’s a blur and a gust of wind as Rainbow Dash returns, using her wings to hover above you. There’s a lavender burst of light out of your peripheral vision, and a second later you see that Twilight Sparkle has joined the two of you. Her eyes are trained on you as she looks at you with concern. She seems to be speaking to Rainbow Dash, but you still can’t hear what they’re saying. The conversation seems to get heated as Twilight is apparently laying into Rainbow Dash over something. You aren’t sure what though. Rainbow looks like she’s trying to explain herself, but failing.
‘Man, Twilight looks really angry. Is it because of me? Did I do something? Or are they arguing over me? She looks really angry. Please don’t be angry Twilight. You’re scary when you get angry…’
The unicorn repeats the action of the pegasus and lifts your shirt to examine your bare torso. The two looks horrified, and it looks like she’s screaming at Rainbow Dash now. Rainbow makes no attempt to defend herself verbally. Twilights face softens as she leans over you and says something to you that you can’t hear. Her horn glows and in a burst of light, the two of you appear somewhere else. It looks like you’re indoors now, you can see artificial lights above you.
You’re starting to get light headed now, and dizzy as well. You really want to close your eyes and go to sleep. As your eyes start to close, and your mind drifts off, you can see the faces of more ponies looking down on you with concern.
‘Everything will be fine’ you tell yourself.
It always is.
I look forward to reading more
really interesting remids me of jason wright when he stated that humans cant survive a lighting strike, i look foward to the next chapter
That's the third fic I've seen that goes for this idea. I guess some ideas are really there for the taking. =)
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Rainbow should do this to more of those no-name abominations. So good on her quite honestly.
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Is your whole shtick just to find stories with the Anon tag and trash talk them?
Because if you genuinely dislike stories like these, I don't know why else you would keep clicking on them.
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Nice first chapter, looks like things should get interesting quickly. Let's hope that ponies do, in fact, have magic that can fix anything...
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Another day, another L.
I haven't read the fic, but I'll keep it in my read it later, I like stories like this.
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Absolutely not, this is the only chapter
hopefully you contenue this story, the other one with the similar premise, was abandoned, though the human in that story actually died for the lighting XD, oh well, lets wait for next chapter.
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Yeah, I read that one, shame it never continued.
11519636
oh my gosh I remember exactly what story you mean xD
Wow, now that's an amazing description of someone after an accident. It's great the way you manage to portray his complete confusion as to what is going on, while informing us by the mute reactions of the ponies.
Not sure where this story could go, but It looks like it'll be a dark ride.
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Thanks, glad you appreciated what I was going for!
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pbs.twimg.com/media/E8AH2EFVgAAkIcY?format=jpg&name=small
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Agreed.
rainbow fucked up good
Well buck me, it's not often I'll read and enjoy a 2nd person story or anon named person, but this definitely catches my eye. Fantastic writing so far!
Hey if you survive that, at least you would look really bad ass fixing guns and reading the Bible.
For real tho, good narration for a trope that I quite like being "cartoon/fantasy logic doesn't work on human beings"
Quite curious to see if the story is going to also be changing from perspective of ponies to back to Main Character recovering from such a painful tragedy.
Cheers and keep up the good work.
This looks so good!
Looking forward for more!
Oh. shit. You really did it this time Rainbow.
As it turns out, lightning is more than a little discombobulating to a human's delicate nervous system.
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What story are you talking about? Could you provide a name or a link?
I already love it.
Dammit RD...
Rainbow done goofed up this time!
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Some people are so curdled inside that they need to let the whole world know all about it, at every possible opportunity.
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You have zero bitches I can tell
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Your name suits you perfectly.
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And because of it, I only ever hear ONE insult: "your name suits you." Thank you for proving to be as unimaginative as everyone else.
how could this happen to me~
haha pretty good i want to see another chapter
Colour me intrigued. The Administration shall monitor this world.
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Morbid Curiosity
Hmm... I distinctly remember reading a fanfic like this, but it's told from a 3rd person perspective, and I think the human actually died in that story. If anyone remembers and can give me that story, I'll be extremely grateful.
Can’t wait to see more of this.
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This one
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/372682/morbid-curiosity
Funny enough, as a result of this story going popular, it's bringing attention back to this one too since it's popping up on the Popular tab despite being in an ongoing 6 year hiatus
Is it me or does the picture of rainbow dash look cursed as hell? It looks an early version of ai made it.
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Oh, and the other one I was thinking about is this.
Whoa, what a coincidence, I'm me too.
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Holy hell I don't think I've seen a more downvoted comment than that one
Almost a hundred now
Anyways, definitely hoping to read more of this! And hoping I get to see a conclusion to this; this is one of those story premises I've read in one other multichapter story and it went and died when things were getting interesting ..
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Eh. Downvotes are wasted on me anyway because I don't care if people don't like my opinions.
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While I can understand where you are coming from, due to the massive influx of anon stories, I respectfully disagree.
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Who that?
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Same
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jason wright from "ending" a story about a human that goes to equestria, everything its fine until he moves to ponyville to meet his heroes the main six, in the story ponyville is extremly xenophobic towards jason with pinkie runing away from the main character thanks to her pinkie sense, fluttershy hidding for how scared she is of jason, twilight saying "i dont have time for humans" and basically starting the whole "lets be xenophobic to this monster" rainbow dash throwing lighting strikes and sometimes diving into jason with the intention of causing phsycal harm, rarity throwing shit and screaming "MONSTER, BRUTE" and stuff like that (this one might not be on the story but in others stories cannon or not is introduce), and applejack literally breaking the ribs of the main character with kicks, it came to the point that jason after 3 years of this wanted to kill himself with applejack lasso, the original story is basically a "i wanted to meet my heroes and everything went wrong to the point its like a dark eldar prison", then you have the canon sequel of the story "it really never ends" by doktorsigma, and the non canon but still extremly good stories like ending and beginnings by morbiusgreen "a new ending" by kildeez, aftermath by badassgrunt and the recently new one "an alternative ending" by ultrapoknee (sorry if i made any gramatical errors english is not my main language)
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Bro what they just asked who Jason was xD
Excellent writing! You could end it right here and it would be a perfect, unsettling short story.
Burned hooman smells like overly sweet bacon and char.
Lightning burns little holes and you necrotize from the inside out... Slowly if it doesn't stop your heart
Poor Anon got hit with a 105 howitzer point blank
ignoring whatever the hell's going on in the comments,
this is quite a good story! can't wait to see where it goes from here. it's quite a good setup for things, if you choose to go on with it! and as others have said here, it also works pretty well as a standalone short story, if you choose to go with that route.