“My life is over!” Cried Anon. He lay in his hospital bed, surrounded by his closest horse friends. “Pull the plug on me doc, I want to be un-alive now!”
“You aren’t on life support,” replied Mr. Doctor Man (Horse).
“Then put me on life support, and then take me off it!”
“That wouldn’t do anything,” said the doctor, deadpan.
“Why are you so negative?” Questioned Anon.
“There there Anon,” comforted Celestia. “Don’t be so glum chum, you can still live a rich and fulfilling life!”
“No! If the comments have taught me anything it’s that this is a fate worse than death! Now load me into a cannon and launch me in to a volcano, I want to go out in style!” Twilight was about to open her bitch mouth when the door to Anon’s room was kicked open by none other than Elon Musk(c) himself! He somersaulted into the room, and every pony there clapped.
“It’s your lucky day today Anon!” Announced the fabulous billionaire as he did the Macarena. “The FDA says I can start putting stuff in peoples brains! You want to test out my new Neuralink?”
“Will I be able to walk again?” Asked Anon seductively (because why not?)
“Probably!” Replied Elon as he brought it around town at the speed of sound. “Just sign this 400 page document waiving the rights to sue in the case of; death, immolation, super paralysis, blindness, retardation, brain worms, loss of taste, loss of smell, the inability to see the color blue, schizophrenia, autism, internal bleeding, Marfan syndrome, veganism, becoming a Taylor Swift fan, and or becoming a member of Gen Alpha.”
“Anon, are you sure this is a good idea?” Questioned Twilight. “Not that Elon Musk isn’t the most trustworthy person on Earth, but this doesn’t sound safe.”
“Shut your bitch mouth Twilight, I want to kick Rainbow Dash to death and moonwalk on her grave!”
“Excellent choice!” Screamed Elon, so loud that his eyes started to bleed. He stuck a dick shaped pen in Anon’s mouth, and allowed him to sign the paperwork. Once it was done, Elon swallowed the paperwork whole.
“So, what now?” Asked Anon. Elon pulled out his Neuralink thing, and a large wooden mallet. He placed the Neuralink thing onto Anon’s skull, and slammed the hammer down like the hammer of Thor. The thunder of his vengeance echoed through the corridors like the gust of a thousand winds. Elon stepped back and examined his work with pride.
“How do you feel Anon?” Questioned Fluttershy. Anon blinked once…twice…then his head exploded, covering everyone in the room with blood and brain matter.
“Well shit…” said Elon. “Guess it’s back to the drawing board.”
“Elon!” Cried Celestia with tears in her eyes. “Do you not see that your reckless abandon has taken a life on this day!” Elon gently placed a hand on her wither and looked her in her oversized eyes.
“Go fuck yourself,” he said. And she did.
The end…or is it?
You see people, your lust for blood has gotten to the author two and it's specifically all your fault literally.
Wow. Just Wow.
media.tenor.com/SJwQVuHos5EAAAAd/dash-confused-confused.gif
i.ytimg.com/vi/IVlEClhnaP4/maxresdefault.jpg ...So does this mean you're almost done with the next chapter?
As we all know the collective unconscious that is internet comments KNOW ALL!!
What a great April Fools chapter-- Wait a second!
Welp.... okay then. Good song at least.
lmfao. i needed this, thanks
Poor author… I want to see Rainbow Dash taking responsibility and be able to grow up to a better pony by taking care of anon… yet silly little ponies want ketchup
Saw this conclusion coming from a mile away, it was so obvious
This feels like something I'd do, and honestly I'm proud.
My honest reaction to this information
I think you need to take some rest. This seems distressing.
mmh
good meme
Technically you could make this cannon by making it a dream and it could even scar Luna for witnessing this
................ l think the writer mixed Red Bull and Monster together... and then drank it...
................What the flying fuck did I just read? Seriously, I feel like a just got flash-banged, force-fed a pound of weed, and then kicked in an organ I didn't even know I had
I haven't the slightest clue what I just read.
Well he got his wish to go out in style
What in God's name did I just read...
This sir is a master piece. A shit post like on uther, I com end you ghud sir
Just when you begin to absorb all of the heaviness regarding Anon's future... you get hit with this to show that nopony ever dies in Equestria.
What?
Not the ending we needed but the ending we deserved
Not the update I was expecting.
Still a bit amusing
Absolute masterpiece
I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can’t believe how magical it was 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can’t forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can’t be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I’ve come across in my life, and I’m definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the chip go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. it absolutely moved my soul , and I don't think I can ever be the same. this bacon has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. the chip is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on chip . hail chip. hail chip . The spinning chip, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the chip spins, showing its lightly salt covered yellow skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the chip scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating chip. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any piece of chip I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of chip I have ever seen especially on 57:42.I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can’t believe how magical it was at 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can’t forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can’t be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I’ve come across in my life, and I’m definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the chip go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. Tt absolutely moved my soul , and i don't think I can ever be the same. this chip has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. the chip is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on chip. hail chip. hail chip. The spinning chip, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a piece of bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the chip spins, showing its lightly salt covered yellow skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the chip scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any chip I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a bacon I have ever seen especially on 17:24. I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can’t believe how magical it was 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can’t forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can’t be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. The work put in to this is incredibly inspiring. The graphics, the animation, the music, so much thought was put into it. This has remined me that you can do anything you put your mind to. Not even mentioning the memories, this makes me feel like an infant again, just laying my eyes on this beautiful masterpiece gives me all the good feelings in life. I also understand what happiness is again from this. Not even to mention the most incredible part that is 2:10. chip spinning has changed my life for the better. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I’ve come across in my life, and I’m definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. this is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the chip go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. it absolutely moved my soul , and I don't think I can ever be the same. this bacon has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. So much great graphic design, so much suspense, so much greatness in this one video. i have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. the bacon is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. we are all children on chip . hail chip . hail chip. The spinning chip, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a chip do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the chip spins, showing its lightly salt covered yellow skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the chip scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating chip. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any chip I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of chip I have ever seen especially on 57:42. I am crying. This has made me go through an emotional rollercoaster. I cried, beat off, and also watched a movie while watching this premiere. This has made me go through so much. I passed depression because of this. It really inspired me to become an outstanding young man. well pleased like chip. Thank you.
What a tragedy! Anon's gone! I'm crying so hard right now. Elon's gotta go, Celestia should take him to Belize.
What a maresterpiece!
And even Anon is saved from his situation! Certainly, a satisfying conclusion!
11766163
Unfortunately no. I usually try to update on a monthly basis, but during November I was working on an original story for a contest. I thought this up yesterday and thought I'd post it for fun. I'll try to update for real soon.
I dearly wish I could press the thumbs-up button a second time and have it count again.
I’m was the guy pessimistically wondering how he’s going to get out of this corner he’s written himself into. This ending exceeded my expectations in every way!
11767250
Sorry, I didn't mean to be taken seriously with my post, yo.
Was watching some Gumball and figured I'd use that quote, along with posting Richard, the orginator/inspiration for said quote, as a joke. Take all the time you need.
Wow....
That was... unexpected.
Elon Musk is Abridged Akihiko Kayaba confirmed?
This may have been a lol chapter, but if you want to make it real like the title says maybe make it some sort of dream
Looks like the drugs for Anon's surgery are kicking in.
11766809
I used AI to summarize your
inane ramblingsheartfelt commentso nobody else has to read itso everyone can appreciate it:I understand that this chapter is written for fun, but how does anon already know that Rainbow is to blame for everything? ^_^
11785928
That's why it's non canon
i.postimg.cc/bJ7mC1c6/asdasdds222121212d-1.jpg
tots not fake
To be fair, this story has yet to even begin to answer the question of specifically how the f Anon is supposed to live a "rich and fulfilling life". Celestia mentioned him being taken care of, but that doesn't address what he's going to do with his life going forward.
11772592
I had always assumed there was a reason that neither Scootaloo nor Tempest ever asked him for a cure.
I feel like anon will forgive rainbow Dash and ask Celestia to remove the punishment, he doesn't seem like the kind to want her to suffer because of a mistake.
What a shitty gag, you suck at it!
11833388
Sad Face