• Published 14th Feb 2020
  • 3,695 Views, 494 Comments

What have I done to deserve this? - Cackling Moron

Every obstacle in the path of a Queen is the fault of some nefarious other party, and no fault of her own.

  • ...


Author's Note:

I mean, it had to really, didn't it?

No real idea how the change works, honestly, but like all things I shall make them serve a purpose. My purpose.

Dance puppets, dance! Dance upon my strings!

Instantly and without thinking twice she dropped everything and all-but flung herself over at him, half-leaping, half-flying. He was completely unresponsive, just laid out and limp, eyes closed. There was also blood. Bad sign.

“No! No no nononono!” She said, afraid to touch him lest he get hurt more but equally afraid not to touch him and in so doing let something else bad happen. Panicking, to put it another way.

“How could you get standing in a corner wrong?! You were meant to be safe in the corner! That’s why I made you stand there!” She shouted into his face, utterly at a loss for what else she could do. Normally, her shouting in faces got results, now it wasn’t and she hated it on a new and exotic level.

She felt very strange, but distantly, and it wasn’t as pressing of a concern as the wellbeing of Richard, who still wasn’t moving despite the top-notch and regal quality of her shouting.

“Wake up! Move! S-stop just - stop just lying there!”

Lacking better options, Chrysalis had fallen onto the old standby of yelling while shaking the target of your yelling by the shoulders. Results were unedifying. He remained limp, and continued to bleed.

First aid for freakish aliens wasn’t something she’d picked up over the years. Not that she likely would have anyway - she was typically more in the business of inflicting harm than remedying it. Kind of felt like a mistake, now. But too late. Far too late.

That strange feeling was a lot more prominent, now, and seemed to be building to something but, again, she was too distracted to really notice, or even to notice the odd amount of light that was filling the room all of a sudden. All she could see was the weird alien who, unlike usual, was not smiling at her. Like an idiot.

Wake up…

With a snort and a jerk Richard snapped awake, though for a second or two it was obvious he hadn’t the faintest idea where he was or what was going on. Then something a little like lucidity came back to him and he squinted around, that damn fool smile coming back at once once he laid his eyes on Chrysalis.

“Oh, hello there,” he said, baffled and bewildered by why he seemed to be on the floor but happy that the first thing he could see was her.

The sense of relief that flooded Chrysalis was so overwhelming and so profound she was legitimately lost for words, giving Richard even more time to smile and squint happily at her.

His squint then became a frown. The questioning kind. If you’d put an ear to his skull, you’d likely have heard the wheels grinding (and also got blood on your ear).

“Your majesty, you’re all...sparkly…” He said.

Chrysalis blinked at him. He was delirious! Was he delirious? Seemed an odd thing to be delirious about. Or maybe it wasn’t. She had no frame of reference!


Very weakly he raised a hand and pointed more-or-less in her direction.

“Or, like, shiny and...fancy colour…s’nice...” He said, arm dropping back down again.

With him awake and speaking, some of the heart-constricting panic had left her, albeit not completely. Enough though for some actual awareness to come back to her. Awareness of that very unusual feeling filling her, of the absence of that gnawing, constant hunger. Awareness of how her...legs and hooves weren’t...the right...colour.

“Oh no,” she said, looking down at herself with increasing, frantic urgency. “Oh no! No! Richard! Oh! How could you do this to me?!”

Richard cocked his head, dazed and confused, then winced and put a hand up to his hand, pulling his fingers back bloody. He was still a touch too out of it to really have any solid opinions on this, though. Maybe his head had always been like that, he thought. That made sense, he thought.

“Did I get some blood on you?” He asked, again looking at Chrysalis, missing the obvious. Which was pretty impressive given what the obvious was. Chrysalis was at this moment running her mane through her hooves and staring at it frank, appalled disbelief.

“No! Worse! So much worse! You’ve - oh how could this happen?!”

He didn’t like seeing her so distressed, even if she was all pretty and shiny now. He wondered what might be the problem. Her hair looked fine. A little different to how it normally did, sure, but-

“Wait...doesn’t going all fancy and shiny mean that…”

Dots laboriously connected in his head. They likely would have connected faster had that head not been bleeding and recently taken a whack from some masonry. They did connect though, and the way his face lit up made it pretty obvious that this had happened.

Chrysalis was horrified.

“Don’t read into it! Stop reading into it, Richard! It d-doesn’t mean anything! It - it - oh don’t ever scare me like that again!” She wailed, caving and just wrapping around him, digging her face into the crook of his neck.

“Makes me quite fuzzy inside knowing that you think nice thoughts about me, too, your majesty,” Richard said, smile now just plain dopey, the knock to the head making the decision to put his arms around her seem like a really good one.

Amazingly, it actually was. Chrysalis’s didn’t object or scold or bite him or anything! She just screamed frustratedly into his neck but that was it. Pretty mild all things considered.

And so they cuddled. Or he cuddled her, at least, while she buried herself as deeply into him as she possibly could, utterly unable to comprehend the bevy of things she was experiencing and so mostly just clinging on to the very tangible fact that he was mostly unharmed and that this was a Good Thing.

“As enjoyable as this is I probably should see a doctor. I did lose consciousness for a minute there and I am bleeding from the head,” Richard said, having by now scraped together enough of his wits to realise the gravity of this. Chrysalis pulled away from him and did actually pout - in moments of weakness Queens were allowed to bend their own rules.

“...you’re ruining the moment, Richard,” she said.

“Sorry, your majesty.”

She had to admit he had a point, however. There was a good deal of blood all down his face at this point. A striking look for him, yes, but probably not in any way that was good. It also meant that he was hurt, and much as she knew him being mostly unharmed was a Good Thing, she also knew that him being hurt was a Bad Thing.

“...you should though. Go. Go now. Quickly,” she said, wriggling out from his arms, stepping up and backing away.

“Oh don’t worry about me, your majesty, I’m made of tough-”

He cut off with a yelp as he was magically yanked to his feet and given a shove in the direction of the doors, stumbling forward a few steps.

“Stop talking! Go go! Go quickly!”

“Right, uh, as you say your majesty. Whoo, little unsteady there a second,” he said, swaying, making an effort not to overbalance. Maybe a bad sign, or maybe just having been made to get up too quick. Hard to say.

He tried a smile, but Chrysalis just stared him down until he, sheepishly, continued on toward the door, Chrysalis’s eyes burning a hole in his back before her attention slid over to the item he’d pulled up from the basement.

And there the mighty artifact still sat. Inert now that she’d stopped manipulating it, but no-doubt ready to be used again at a moment’s notice. Really, what had happened changed nothing. Didn’t it? Revenge still had to be doled out. World still had to be taken over. Enemies crushed, dominion exerted. Nothing had really changed. Nothing important, at least.

It was just...

Her mind just wasn’t in the right place anymore. That was all. How could it be? Look at what he’d done to her! It was distracting! She wasn’t even a tiny bit peckish, either! How was she truly supposed to draw upon that previously inexhaustible well of malice without even a tiny bit of that ever-present, nagging hunger?

He’d taken it from her! Now what did she have?

Some sort of unnatural, warm, fuzzy glow? The kind that just seemed to fill every spare inch of her and made holding onto those normal, comforting thoughts of vengeance and malice basically impossible?

How could he have done this to her?!

...and it just didn’t seem right sending him off on his own when he was hurt. He could get lost, after all, then she’d only have to go and find him later. Just more work for her in the long run.

Chewing on her lip Chrysalis reached a snap decision.


Richard waited, door ajar, and Chrysalis buzzed over.


“Bend down,” she said, and he did, and once he did and his head was in easier reach some strange, mad, inexplicable force burning in her belly motivated her to plant a very quick peck on his cheek. It was so fast he almost missed it. Chrysalis was, obviously, mortified and had no way to explain any of it.

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” she said, not looking him in the eye, her face luminescent.

Richard was pretty luminescent himself.

“Wouldn’t ever expect you to,” he said, raising a hand to the kissed cheek.

When you wouldn’t move…

“What?” Richard asked, not having caught that. In response she moved in for another lightning-quick peck to the other cheek. Again, she had no idea why she did it. She just did. Something had compelled her to. Something she didn’t understand didn’t really want to understand, but which was undeniably there all the same.

Today was rubbish.

With supreme effort and poise befitting a Queen she managed then to finally pull herself together and draw herself up. After all, someone had to be in charge and, as always, that someone had to be her.

“Stop dawdling, let’s go,” she said. He blinked at her.

“You’re coming?”

Another flash, and where a now-shiny Chrysalis had been standing was instead a unicorn. Different one than last time. Paid to cycle disguises.

“Of course I’m coming! You can barely be trusted on your own without a head wound! Now come on! Out! Let’s go!”

She physically shoved him through the door and into the woods beyond, using her head to push him along until he got the message enough to start walking at an acceptable pace. She cantered along beside him in furious silence, the two of them heading towards town.

And as angry as Chrysalis was with him - and she was so, so angry. Furious. Outraged! How could he have done this to her?! - she couldn’t help but keep looking up sideways at him, concerned. He did keep swaying. Or was that just his gait? She couldn’t be sure.

“Are you okay? Are you lightheaded? Dizzy? How many hooves am I holding up?” She asked in a rush.

“Yes, no, no and one,” Richard said.

That all checked out. Still she fretted, moving back behind him to shove him along some more.

“Hurry up!”