We will depend
Why was I even still awake?
Could it, perhaps, be that the bed was hilariously small?
There wasn’t much denying this. The thing - scrounged up from some arse-end of the palace, as far as I knew - hadn’t been designed with someone of my size in mind to start with, so having both me and Celestia crammed onto the thing was a recipe for ridiculousness in the first place.
Typically, just me trying to get on it required a certain amount of curling up, or else I just hung off it from all angles. With the pair of us it was just a mess. I was sort of sprawled across the mattress and Celestia was sort of sprawled on top of me, the too-small duvet draped over at least part of her, which really set the ‘at least we tried’ tone of the whole thing off for me, personally.
In contrast to myself she actually was asleep, which was nice. Gentle little rise and fall of her breathing I could just feel what with my arm around her and all. The room was also still just light enough for me to get to enjoy the conked-out look on her face. So cute! And yet somehow still regal?
And kind of one trailing, wiggly strand of mane that had just fallen down, too. Somehow. I’ll never figure out how that thing works, I don’t think. Not sure I want to.
Possibly kind of odd to just wile away a minute or five gazing adoringly at someone who was asleep but her face was right in my face so I wasn’t sure what else I was meant to do.
And we were kind of a thing? So I guess that made it better? Suppose that’s up to a certain amount of subjective interpretation. Like EVERYTHING IS.
That’s still kind of weird to think about, really. Us being a thing.
Not that she’s a horse or anything, though some extant part of my original experiences does try to make its opinions on that known sometimes. Or that she’s immortal. I’d largely got over that part. Or that she controls the sun somehow, which hadn’t ever particular bothered me - figure that one out. Or that she has an alarmingly large horn. That’s just something I’ve learnt to live with.
One time she snuck up behind me and jabbed my butt with it. Not hard or anything, just enough to make me jump. And oh how I jumped!
And in fairness to her if I had a horn I’d probably try to do the same thing to her. If I were capable of sneaking up on her I’d probably just try pinching, but my sneaking skills are, ah, lacklustre. For now.
But anyway, no. It’s none of those things I said that made it weird for me. I mean they’re all true, obviously, but they’re not the weird part to me - weirdly, hah! The weird part is having a, uh, well, a girlfriend at all, you know? Or anyone who’d care! About me! I’m just some dickhead. Who’d have thought?
That’s a secret, of course. That I think anyone being affectionate to me is weird. Can’t be telling anyone that! They’d get cross at me. Especially Celestia, though her reaction wouldn’t be so much crossness as some potent mixture of disappointment that I should be so down on myself crossed with dismay that I would think she would string me along like that.
Eurgh, even just the thought of the look on her face is making me uncomfortable.
So why can’t I sleep again?
Oh. Right. Because I’m thinking too much. Makes sense now.
Look son, you got nothing you need to be thinking about right now. Everything’s peachy. There are no intractable issues that require you to waste valuable sleeping time dwelling on them. There are no problems you need to worry about resolving. You’re perfectly placed!
Specifically, you’re placed beneath the comforting weight of a very warm, very nice lady who is inexplicably fond of you. So maybe focus on that and try to get some shuteye, eh?
A compelling argument.
Leaning up to give her a quick peck on the cheek - she smiled in her sleep! I could have died on the spot! - I closed my eyes settled down and got to work drifting off. And it worked, too!
I did not sleep well, sadly. Not that I noticed at the time, being asleep and all. I only really noticed when I fell out of bed.
Luckily, it being a pony bed meant that it hadn’t been that far off the floor to start with. Unluckily, the floor was still hard and I still had mass. So it still hurt. But it could have been worse! Focus on the positives.
Celestia was not in bed. That took me a second to twig, but given the way we’d been arranged if I’d fallen out she would have fallen on top of me. And since she hadn’t, that must have meant she hadn’t been in bed. Ipso facto. Quod erat demonstrandum. Cogito ergo sum? One of those.
Disentangling myself from the duvet and blinking I looked around to see if she was still within sight and, surprisingly, she was. Just across the room, no less! Given that she was standing at the window at about the same time things seemed to be getting lighter I figured she was doing something sun-related. Seemed a safe bet to me.
My falling out of bed did not distract her from this and she finished going through whatever motions she needed to before turning around and finding me there, still perhaps a little out of sorts.
“John? Are you alright?”
You know, I still don’t really get that name. I don’t feel like a John. But then again I don’t feel like anything. Or anyone. I’m just sort of present. At least this way it’s easier for people to get my attention, I suppose.
Though personally I’ve always felt people were unduly harsh on ‘Hey, you!’. It gets the job done, right?
“Hmm? Me? I’m fine,” I said from the floor, assuming a pose of casual ease, propping my chin on my hand. Maybe overselling it a bit. At least it got a bit of a grin out of her, that.
“Did you hurt yourself?” She asked.
Sun was starting to stream in from behind her quite forcefully now. Was she doing that on purpose? Did the physics of that even add up? Did I care?
“No no no, totally fine. Just a little bit of an abrupt awakening, I think,” I said, ignoring questions about the bending of light and other such trifles and concentrating on the issues at hand.
“Why?”
“No idea. Bad dream, I guess.”
I had vague impressions of having had a dream I had not been enjoying. Certainly it must have been unpleasant enough to make my leaving it enough of a jolt to have me launched entirely out of bed. Small it may have been, but up until then I’d managed to never fall out of the thing.
“You had a nightmare?”
“Oh, nothing as serious as that. Nothing major or especially complicated. Even now it’s slipping away from me.”
“What happened? Can you remember?”
I was trying to heave myself up at this point, the thoroughly uncomfortable floor kind of forcing my hand. Fortunately, today seemed a good day as far as legs went and so it wasn’t that difficult. That, and I had a bed behind me to brace myself off. Handy!
“Ah, barely. I wouldn’t worry about it. These things happen, don’t they?”
“Please?” She asked, and I could hardly say no to that. So I cast my mind back.
With only a little effort it became rather vivid, unusual for a dream. Though the more of it I dredged up the more unhappy I felt about it. Not in any rational way, just in a general pit-of-the-stomach kind of a way.
Bleurgh. Feelings.
“Wandering around a house I recognise, searching for my parents, not finding them, just wandering around and around calling out for them but having no-one answer. That kind of thing. Can’t remember details, obviously. Probably wasn’t actually anything like what my childhood home was like - just an impression. But you ‘know’ these things in dreams, don’t you? Ah, dreams. So zany.”
I’d had dreams of this sort more than once, here or there. Some message from deep within the confusing basement of my mind? Perfectly normal anxieties bubbling to the surface?
Certainly, they were all about as subtle as a stubbed toe, which spoke volumes to the levels of tact and delicacy my subconscious had to hand. I’m adrift and technically alone in a world not my own! Whatever life I once had was ripped from me and even now lies forever beyond my reach!
I get it! Change the record. It’s not going away anytime soon, yeesh.
Certainly, while awake and cogent it wasn’t the sort of thing that bothered me overmuch, but while sleeping it clearly touched a nerve. Figure that one out.
Likewise, why I felt worse after this one was anyone’s guess. Just one of those things.
Took me a second or so in my still-slightly-groggy state to register that Celestia had not replied. Perhaps I’d mumbled. Wouldn’t have been the first time! I looked up from straightening out my nightclothes, which had got a little twisted in my fall.
“Celestia?”
She was still looking my way. Now that I was standing I was out of the worst of the sunlight and so could see her properly. Her face now had a look of absolute, naked concern.
“Uh, you alright there-” I started to say, but then:
“Oh my poor baby!” She exclaimed and before I could really process that part she rushed at me, clearing the room in a heartbeat. Hopping on her hind legs for extra height - cheating - she wrapped her wings around my back and smooshed my face into her chest.
Thankfully, she hadn’t put any of her fancy-pants regalia on yet so this was a lot softer than it otherwise might have been. And warmer. And generally nice.
Not that it made any of this any less unnecessary.
“I’m a grown-ass man, I don’t need a hug just because I had a bad dream...” I said, muffled.
It wasn’t even bad! It was just kind of annoying and obvious! Like, I get it!
Still. Guess I can’t object to hugs, can I?
“I’m sorry,” I heard her say. I was not immediately sure why she might have said this. Trying to shift to get a look at her face got me nowhere, because her head was resting on top of mine. Again. She did that quite a bit, whenever she got the chance.
“What for?” I asked.
“For not being able to help you.”
Again, confused. When had she been anything but helpful? Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I’d dead! What more was it that she thought she could possibly do for me?
Then I got it. Oh, right. She was talking about helping fix mah brain. Unacceptable! I broke the hug and she dropped down in front of me, making us level again. She looked very sad. I did not like this.
“Hey, hey no, none of that,” I said, cupping her chin. “You’re not beating yourself up over this. It is what it is, you’ve already done more for me than you ever needed to. And you’re still doing it! And you’re wonderful! So don’t worry about it, eh? It’s just how things are. Maybe it’ll get better, maybe it won’t. It doesn’t matter. We’re having a good time, right?”
She nodded, but said nothing.
“Then we’re golden. I’m fine, honestly Celestia. Totally and completely fine. Well, almost totally and completely fine,” I said. She blinked, cocked her head. Adorable!
“Almost?”
“I am a touch peckish.”
That punctured the tension, thank fuck. She gave me a giggle and nuzzled against the hand I still had held up to her which then trailed up and gave her a scratch behind the ears. Kind of weird how much they enjoyed that, really, but oh my how they enjoyed it.
Uh, probably should have been a little more, you know, reserved about how I’d been doling them out to all the lasses down in Ponyville while holding off with Celestia. That was really back-asswards, that was. I hadn’t been thinking!
What must they think of me?
Still, that moment when the scratching starts and Celestia’s eyes just kind of roll back for a second? Words fail me.
At length my hand withdrew. She pouted, briefly, but got over it.
“Breakfast, then?” She asked. I nodded.
“The most important meal of the day, so I hear.”
“You truly are a font of wisdom.”
“I know! Someone should be writing all this down.”
Another giggle! Is someone keeping score?
“I’ll see if a royal scribe is available,” she said, once she’d put a straight face on again.
“So much of my wisdom already wasted…lost to us forever...” I said, turning away and looking pained. I didn’t need to see Celestia roll her eyes to know she did.
There was then a flash and we were somewhere else. I still wasn’t used to that. Normally she warned me, too, but I guess this time this was what I got for being a silly bugger.
We were now inside the palace - castle? Palace? I should really pick one and stick to it - inside one of its many, many dining rooms. This one may well have been specifically set out as a breakfast room. Certainly, it had a breakfasty feel to it.
“You could have at least let me change out of my pyjamas. Hardly dressed for breakfast,” I groused.
Celestia looked down at herself.
“I’m not dressed at all,” she said.
“You’re not? Gasp,” I said, immediately clapping a hand to my eyes.
I yelped when something pointy jabbed me in the bottom.
“Sit down, you…”
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Ah yes, the ever-dependable ear scritch. Those and snuggles are my favorite things to do with furry animals.
He should see about getting a properly large bed made, or a couch, couches are nice too.
9633481
He's not really a forethought kind of guy. He's more of a take what comes his way chap.
strand of mane
smooshed my face
Also,
9633532
Urgh, typos.
They plague me!
9633283
They're reliable stalwarts in many situations.
Why can't you use the romance tag?
I know you have a... somewhat violent past with it, but you have to let it go!
Ooooh a sequel!! Gotta reread the first again!
9634027
I...I can't do it!
I don't get why she's upset. She really didn't much care about helping him before, what prompted the change? It seems weird.
I really hope this one doesn't turn from light hearted fluff into soul crushing existential horror again
10/10 BTW, tho
9634278
She always cared? Perhaps I wasn't especially clear on conveying that. She was primarily worried about him dying, originally.
9634288
I was waiting for someone to bring that up...
9634276
You MUST! It's the only way to move on in life!
I thought it was brave to write a story with such a deeply mentally-challenged MC.
No, honestly, I think that's an interesting change of pace, in that "Cynical and smart human shows up in a world of kind but dim ponies" is more the standard, whereas this is the reverse. Instead of the MC being the smart one, he's more like a really dumb but good-hearted talking hound dog that Celestia can hug--and he'll lick her face without actually understanding any of her problems--and feel better.
It's an inspirational story, that no matter how brain-damaged and dense someone is, they still have the chance of finding love with a magical talking horse, assuming that's your thing.
(Although, am I the only one waiting for the other shoe to drop? Human gets whisked to Equestria by magic, that coincidentally also magically lets him speak the language and does magical brain surgery that stops him from remembering his old life, all seems too planned to be the result of an accident. Feels like this is the sort of thing you'd get from a "Someone did a magical ritual to find something that would make Celestia happy" kind of premise, and then cue the angst.)
9634918
Thanks?
I remain fascinated by how everyone here interprets these two and their relationship. Honestly though, what with me biased since I'm the one quote-unquote "writing" it.
In my view John was never anything other than a happy-go-lucky scamp with narratively-convenient memory loss who's making the best of things, while Celestia was initially concerned for his welfare and then delighted to have found someone with no preconceptions or hangups about her and who is quite fun to hang with and so she then perhaps let's her excitement get the better of her.
That's where I've always been coming from. Whether that's right or not or whether anyone agrees is their business.
Mentally challenged seems a touch harsh, maybe, given that John basically thinks in a truncated, more comprehensible variant of how I think. But maybe that says more about me.
Gawd, so much cute! I can only hope you never run out of fluff, cuz I'm addicted!
Cheeky bastard
Almost got in major trouble for saying I was peckish once. Turns out in the American mid west it can be interpreted as hen pecked.
9686244
When I was younger I used to say I was peckish pretty often when I was just a bit hungry. My mom occasionally tried to tell me that it wasn't an actual word after a while, because she honestly thought it wasn't
9634735
But if he put the tag in there, he's obligated to make this into a Greek tragedy--and you *know* how those all go....
Mortal falls in love with a god; the god's relatives get jealous; shit happens; mortal has a 50 year journey to get back to loving god; mortal *finally* lands on Boardwalk; mortal dies of old age (and broke because mortal didn't own Boardwalk); gods go back to playing a combo of chess and fizbin until the next checker finally catches one of their fancy; repeat....
9829363
at least zeus isn't involved in this story
10185733
Next chapter, John fucks a swan. Or something. Gets fucked by a swan. Hubris.
Great banter. Love his thought train. Can relate
Man I'm loving them
10185740
Comparten cama ¿Hasta dónde llegaron?