I didn't know I couldn't hear the answer
From there things developed into something of a pattern. Well, not really a pattern as that implies some level of regularity or consistency. There wasn’t a lot of that.
Umbra basically came and went whenever she wanted, usually without warning. I’d be in bed and she’d appear, I’d be looking out of the window and I’d turn around and she was there - that sort of thing. Still managed to make me jump every time it happened
When Celestia did it it was adorable and fun! When Umbra did it I nearly shat myself!
I mean it was funny both times when either of them did but still, that’s not the point.
Food was still brought, though again not really to any set schedule. Just whenever, apparently, and if I didn’t touch it the old lot was taken away to be replaced by the fresh. This struck me as terribly, terribly wasteful and was actually the bit that got to me the most.
Figure that one out. I’m an odd guy.
And, of course, I did cave before too long. Fuck it. If she wanted to do something horrible to me she had a million other ways of doing it. And nothing bad came of eating any of it. I just stopped being hungry. So long, moral high ground. It was fun while it lasted.
Days definitely passed, that I can confirm. I saw it happen, what with my window and its fabulous view of sweet rock all. I saw nighttime come more than once. So there was that.
They had to know I was missing by now. They had to. Which meant what? Search parties? I mean, ‘in the clutches of the evil queen who is thought to be defeated’ is probably not what people will immediately leap to, as far as conclusions go. It’ll take them a while.
Patience, patience. And resilience! Umbra’s made her intentions pretty clear, laid them all out. You’re not in immediate danger, at least not obviously. Just have to be patient, be polite and just...wait.
Great. Sitting around with my thumb up my arse hoping that I, damsel in distress, am rescued from this tower.
I can do that, I suppose.
Even if it does mean putting up with Umbra popping up without warning to cuddle me like I’m a fucking teddy bear and get me to talk to her about my ‘mundane’ activities like I’m her own living white-noise tape.
Jesus, that sort of thing has got to be beneath a supremely evil monarch, right? Didn’t she enslave everyone that one time? Turn into some sort of doom cloud? I guess everyone needs downtime but this is ridiculous!
Know what the worst thing is though?
When she wasn’t just trying to get a rise out of me or trying to get under my skin about this or that she wasn’t...actually...awful…
Ugh.
I would hardly characterise her as pleasant company but she’s not, you know, terrible. At least not those times when she isn’t trying to be. Those times she’s actually quite nice. Or at least tolerable. If I forget about the whole ‘gulling me in and keeping me here against my will’ thing. Which is alarmingly easy to forget at times…
Probably because I’m an idiot. Other people probably wouldn’t have that problem. But then they wouldn’t be here, would they?
She still reads my mind though, which drives me up the fucking wall. I feel violated, damnit! It’s not fair. I’ve asked her to stop repeatedly and of course she hasn’t. Not sure what I expected.
Tried to outfox her. Tried to think jumbled thoughts. Or of, you know, confounding imagery. Or that song I vaguely remembered about a guy stapling tapeworms to his penis. Or to just ignore her. None of it really worked, and most of it just seemed to amuse her. No matter what I tried she always saw around it or through it with barely any effort at all.
Almost like she had experience with this sort of thing. Sigh.
Apart from that? Nothing, fucking nothing. Nothing to do. The room lacked anything I could readily use to pass the time. The most it had was that window and, like I said, the view was nothing to write home about.
Actually, go back a bit, you know what the really worst part was? When I realised I was actually looking forward to the bits where Umbra would pop up, just so I had something to do. That was the worst part, bar none.
Especially because I think she fucking set that up on purpose.
One day - three days in? Four? Fuck, I really had lost track - I was sat by the table, which had been put back in place by then, while she sat on the bed. She’d wanted me on the bed, too, but I was refusing. Just to be petulant.
The shutters had had to be closed so things were quite dim. There was a blizzard outside, apparently, and that climate-control magic could only do so much. Apparently.
“How go the evil plans?” I asked her. Couldn’t really help myself. I was bored!
“No more evil plans, actually. No need. You wouldn’t have heard from here but I’ve won, yes. Won completely. The world is now entirely in my thrall. Enemies ground beneath my hooves, all resistance crushed, my eternal reign now firmly in place. Was much easier than I might have expected,” she said, cool as anything. I just nodded.
“I’m very happy for you. Celestia in a dungeon somewhere? Can I see her?” I asked.
Umbra tapped her chin, made a show of thinking about this.
“I’ll see if I can arrange something for you.”
“Very kind of you.”
Okay that little bit of back-and-forth wasn’t too bad, actually, I kind of liked that.
“Are you sure you won’t join me? You look very lonely sat on by yourself over there,” Umbra said, patting the same spot beside her she’d patted before. I sunk deeper in the hard wooden chair.
“Fine here, thanks,” I said.
Some merry seconds were spent glaring at the tabletop before Umbra piped up again, softer than before, so much so it caught me wholly off-guard:
“You are very fond of her, aren’t you?”
No need to qualify ‘who’ here, clearly. I groaned, sat up straight so I could sprawl across the surface of the table and cover my head with my arms.
“Are we really going to talk about this? Really?” I asked, peering at her through the little fortress of me I’d made for myself.
“Indulge me. Please? I am honestly curious. When you think about her your whole aspect changes. It is intriguing.”
She looked serious. But then Umbra was very good at looking serious. I sighed.
Fine, whatever. Not like I got anywhere else to be.
“I’m not the best at summing this up. She’s just - I don’t know. She’s lovely. She’s patient with me and she gets my jokes and that’s, like, a big one. Don’t have to stop and explain it she just gets it. And she’s just - I don’t know. And the smile. And she saved my life that one time, that’s kind of a good one.”
“Oh?”
“I mean anyone would - hopefully, I mean, jury’s still out on you - would have got help if they’d found someone in the state I was in, but she was the help. And she stayed being the help! Didn’t have to. She had other stuff she could have been doing but she went out of her way to look after me. First face I can remember seeing, first voice hearing and all that and she just...I don’t know. I’m bad at this. There you go. Happy?”
I was probably blushing at this point because I’d just spent a few merry sentences putting my foot in it, but I’d done my best, damnit. It’s not something I ever really ‘think’ about, it’s just there in my head, known. Think I covered most of the important details.
I’m not getting into what other of Celestia’s attributes I’m partial to because those aren’t really up for polite discussion. Ahem.
Oh great, now Umbra’s smirking at me again.
“I’m starting to get the impression that a large part of your fondness for Celestia is due to her having saved your life. I can understand that, but you really don’t owe her anything for that, you know? And besides, I saved your life as well and you’re hardly fond of me.”
“What? I’m sorry, what?”
Okay, leaving aside how that’s not even the main thing - what? What?
“Don’t you remember? The train crash?” She pressed.
What in blazes was she talking about?
“Train crash?”
Quick check. Had any trains crashed? No. Had any trains crashed with me on them? Hmm. Also no, not at all. That was not a thing that had happened. This was just made up. Completely! Utter nonsense.
If I stared at her long enough she might twig that I wasn’t buying this.
“Ah, I almost had you there, didn’t I?” She said, beaming.
Not her A material, this. I honestly expected better.
“Not even for a second,” I said.
She scrutinised me, obviously trying to sniff out a lie. But I wasn’t lying. This she apparently realised.
“Shame. Still, as you say, worth a punt, hmm?”
If Umbra thinks that using my words is going to soften my attitude to this fumble she is sorely mistaken!
“That was very weak, for you. For you I’d expect better,” I said. Putting on an expression of mock-surprise she put a hoof to her chest and said:
“You hold me to high standards? Who knew you had such esteem for me.”
I continued looking at her, trying to find something. There had to be something.
“Were you trying to pull something on me, there?”I asked.
“What? Of course not. What could I be trying to pull?”
I pointed an accusing finger, sitting up straight!
“That was real blunt by your standards. I’m not even sure how I’d categorise that. A joke, maybe? But it wasn’t coming at me like a joke. You’d only do something that shoddy on purpose. Or am I second-guessing myself now?”
Umbra looked away, but not so much I couldn’t see her grinning to herself.
“I couldn’t possibly comment,” she said.
Lady’s got me thinking in knots, urgh.
Just ignore it. Gloss over that weird episode.
...but what was that, though? That had to have been in aid of something, right?
No! Stop worrying about it! Clearly she’s just trying to unsettle you and it’s working. Move on!
Fortunately for moving on I was presented with the sudden and unexpected distraction of being magically hoiked out of my chair and floated across the room to the bed. Plainly she’d got tired of me being stubborn.
In short order I found myself kind of just propped against her, one leg leisurely draped across to keep me in place. Like I could get away anyway.
Umbra hummed happily and rested her chin on top of my head. Then, she hummed thoughtfully. I could tell the difference between the two, now, and also knew that she wouldn’t have done it unless she’d wanted me to notice.
“Something on your mind?” I asked, because I knew she would just keep on humming thoughtfully until I did.
“We get one another’s jokes. I rather liked our bit about me having taken over the world. It came together very well, I thought.”
To be fair it had, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ll riff with anyone. It doesn’t mean anything.
“Are you trying to draw some sort of equivalency here?” I asked.
“Just pointing out something I noticed. Felt it was interesting.”
Urgh. Not bothering to try and argue that. I shifted a little against her side and glared angrily at the wall opposite.
“Are you comfortable?”
I was, actually. Umbra may not have been squishy but she was still perfectly pleasant to lay against. Especially if you have no say in the matter...
“No, I’m in agony,” I said.
Another giggle. Actually closer to a chuckle, I suppose? Somewhere between the two.
And did she just kiss the back of my head?!
“I did. It seemed the thing to do. Maybe you should try and get some sleep. You seem tired.”
“Yeah, sure,” I grumbled.
Already she’s in my head and now giving me little pecks, too? That seems like crossing a line to me.
“I’ll warn you next time,” she said.
“Would prefer you just didn’t. Or even if you asked permission first so I could say no. Politely.”
“Yes, because queens are famous for asking nicely for what they want,” she said and I could almost picture the eye roll on that one. “Get some sleep.”
“I’m not even tired, mother.”
“Then just relax, and see what happens.”
-
There was a wall, just in front of me. A brick wall. I could tell this by feeling it. Couldn’t see it, though, because it was too dark. Mostly too dark. What light there was was coming in bright but coming in above me. A window set in the wall, too high for me to see through.
Could hear through it, though. Muffled but not so muffled I couldn’t make out voices.
People talking. Bunch of guys talking, from the sound of things. I cocked an ear, listened.
“-and she came back with me, actually, which was nice. Little embarrassing but nice she made the effort, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Embarrassing though?”
“Well, home’s a shithole. Not the best place to show anyone around. We didn’t really stay any longer than we had to. I stay at hers now.”
“Over there?”
“Yeah, over there. It’s nice. Much nicer than home. How about you?”
“Oh I never saw any of them. Well, I did, but not when they were like that, you know? Just when they were people-shaped. Just took their word for it.”
“That sounds weird.”
“Little bit.”
What were they talking about? Felt like I’d come in midway through something and missed the preamble. No context here at all, all Greek to me.
I wanted to look through the window. The urge to see who it was who was talking was mounting within me. Curiosity, would be the word. I had to look through. I had to get high enough to peek through.
Fumbling, I reached about to see if I could find anything. I walked into something hard, hurt my shin. Boxes? Boxes! Handy.
By touch alone I hauled the boxes about, starting to stack them up. So I could climb them, you see? They were heavy and awkwardly sized and this being in the dark wasn’t helping either, so progress was slow. I heard more talking. New voices now, different ones. I think?
“So she bites you? And drinks your blood?”
“Not all the time, only sometimes. It’s really not that big of a deal, honestly, it’s fine. Anyway, I think you mentioned something about a nurse?”
“No, she dressed up as a nurse, which caught me off guard. Think it might have touched a spot in my brain I’d been unaware of, too.”
“I hear a woman in uniform can do that!”
“Very funny.”
What? Again, I feel like I’m late to the party on this. Probably makes sense to them. But who are they? I want to look. Very close now. Got my little stack set up. Wobbly though, unsteady. Climbing it is pretty nerve-wracking. Got to balance on the boxes, brace against the wall. One leg up, both legs up, climbing, climbing...
I had got so involved with the climbing that I failed to notice that all the talking I’d been hearing had stopped.
I only noticed this when I reached the top and finally looked through the window, and I only noticed because I saw that everyone in the room on the other side - humans, I was seeing humans! I could see them! - had turned towards the windows.
A room full of guys. Human guys! All kind of looked a bit like me, actually. Little differences but surprisingly similar in a broad sense. And I could see them! I could see other humans!
And they were all looking at me. Every single one of them.
Oh shit that’s scary. They can see me?
The boxes wobbled, I lost my footing and I fell.
Expected to hit the ground. Didn’t though. Just kept on falling and falling and-
“Fuck!”
What? What was - what was all that? Where’d the wall go? Where’s the - oh, wait, wait…
This is the tower, isn’t it? I’m back in that room. The - Umbra’s tower, yeah, yeah. Shit, must have dozed off. Huh, weird. Don’t remember that happening. Where am I though? This view looks wrong...
I was next to the bed - next to the bed? Shouldn’t I have been in it?
Indeed I should have! I must have fallen out. Yeesh, some violent wakeup. So why wasn’t I on the floor?
Oh, oh I see. Umbra caught me. Magic again. She’s still on the bed as well and she caught me before I hit the ground. Nice of her.
“Safe hands,” I said as she lifted me up and popped me back down where I’d been before, resting on her. I yawned and settled in when I remembered something.
I remembered what I’d just been daydreaming about. I remembered people - people! Actual fucking humans! I could see their faces still! Fucking - fucking noses and eyes and hair and not all brightly coloured! I could still see them in my head! They hadn’t disappeared!
What! How?!
That’s not - that’s not possible, is it? I thought that was the whole point?! I thought that was my deal?!
Twisting around and wriggling out from beneath Umbra’s leg - which had draped across me again - I pointed another accusing finger at her.
“What were you doing? You were doing something!”
Magic yanked me back against her and her arm went more firmly into place around me. No wiggling away this time. Didn’t stop me trying though.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” she said, rocking me a little as she put her other leg around me, shifting so she had a better angle to do this. My wriggling efforts continued, to no avail. It was the principle of the thing.
“You did something! What did you do!”
“Shh, John, calm. I was just seeing what I could do about some of the surface damage, that was all. It’s not as severe as it looks. It can be repaired quite easily, I should think. Certainly, I was able to do more during your little snooze than has been done throughout your whole time in this world. You being asleep certainly helped.”
What? No!
“No! No repairs! Don’t - don’t do that again! Please! Just leave it alone!”
Was it weird that I was more pants-shittingly terrified of some random old memory of mine being brought back than I was of the possibility of dying from magical brain poking? I’m an odd guy.
Then again, would having the old me brought back be a kind of dying? Philosophically speaking? Answers on a postcard, please.
Fuck! What had she done?!
“Shh, John, John-”
How deep a poke are we talking here? I mean that’s one thing but who knows what else she did? She set up shop in there? Fuck, I need to leave. Fucking reading my brain is one thing that’s bad enough but getting inside that’s too much I need to get out I really don’t-
“John!”
She’d turned me around by this point and was holding me in front of her so I had to face her. My wriggling had stopped, mostly because she’d yelled and he had been shockingly loud.
“I have not done anything. I barely smoothed over one of the cracks, so to speak. That is all. It was merely to see if I could. I have not done anything else,” she said, in what I assumed was meant to be a soothing tone of voice. It did not work.
I don’t believe you!
“I wouldn’t lie to you,” she said, again. That was kind of a line of hers I was starting to notice.
“But you would just go galavanting through my head seeing what you could fiddle with?” I asked.
She actually looked bashful on that one! At least a little bit! Like she knew she’d done something wrong! Wonders never cease indeed!
“I will admit that was perhaps hasty on my part. I was simply curious. I won’t do it again,” she said.
“Is that a promise?”
“Queens do not promise.”
Great. She have a fucking red book of these phrases? The little book of queen do’s and don’ts? The guide to being completely superior to everyone? I brimmed with confidence and reassurance.
And I could still remember those guys from the drema. Weirdos. Staring at me. Bleurgh, unsettling. Was that how humans looked? Other ones, I mean. I know what I look like.
Not a fan, I got to say. Could do without seeing them any more than I had to.
Still, I could feel that thrashing core of panic that I’d been enjoying starting to settle down. I was still deeply, deeply unhappy about this fucking smash and grab inside my head but I felt less like pounding on the door screaming to let out. I just felt annoyed, now. Especially as Umbra turns me about in her hooves like a bloody teddy bear - again - and holds me in close.
“I won’t do it again,” she said. Again, I wasn’t brimming with confidence but what can I do about it? Presumably this relationship we have built on trust requires me, here, to take her at her word on blind faith.
Yippee.
“I’m not happy about this,” I said.
“I am aware.”
Guess hoping for an apology was just hopelessly naive wishful thinking on my part.
“A queen does not-” She started but I knew where that was going.
“Yes yes. Can work that out myself, thank you.”
Would have expected some reprimand for interrupting her but, surprisingly, none came. Guess she really could tell that I was actually, properly legitimately unhappy about this. And I was! Rarely did I ever feel so...gah! I’d go so far as to say upset!
Instead she just nuzzled the back of my head and said:
“You’re rather adorable when you’re asleep. Has anyone told you that?”
Nice segue. Seamless. Barely noticeable.
“All the time. Constantly. It’s how most people say hello to me,” I said.
Christ! Fucking mindgames! This went South fast! Any time anyone felt like popping up and pulling me out would be great, guys! Don’t feel the need to pick a dramatic moment for it! Anytime will do!
Wonder what Celestia’s up to...
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Best.
Video.
Ever.
Well alrighty then, wondering where thisll go.
Got so comfortable with John I forgot that he was an amnesiac mental-block victim who can't even know his own name. I remembered he couldn't remember other humans, but forgot the name bit.
Side note, probably asked two chapters ago by others, but why Umbra? I get the dynamic wouldn't have worked with a machismo Sombra, but just curious. She a weird bit of canon I missed it just rule 63'd
9702351
As I may have said elsewhere I just find an evil queen a lot more fun than an evil king.
Uh...personal reasons. Ahem.
9702362
Can't argue with that logic!
Looking forward to the next chapter :)
Oh snapple, I know who those other people were!
If this is going where I think it is...
9702384
I wouldn't get your hopes up, it's just a dream...
Does raise questions though...
So John can see into the cackleverse?
I hope this arc ends soon. This isn't quite boring yet, but it's getting there...
9702525
Now that's a concept.
Hah, no, mostly I just thought it'd be funny. And they're all basically versions of the same guy anyway...
9702538
Does another two hundred thousand words sound too long for you? I suppose I could out the bit with the summer house but the rest is essential.
Hell of a segue at the end.
9702544
As long as you don't cut the beach episode!
All seriousness, Umbra is a sociopath putting on a facade, and John lacks depth by design. Most of her interaction feels like it's aping Celestia, but without the charm and history to make it endearing. There's not much potential in this relationship, and it's already starting to feel a bit repetitive. It's increasingly feeling like a mannequin talking with a paper cut-out on an empty stage.
9702587
Noted.
These events are relevant to later events.
9702587
Too true. She's really just gaslighting him, and her faux-compassion is blatantly insincere. While she expresses intrest in "fixing" him, it isn't believable that she actually will instead of just mind controlling him or otherwise breaking him to fit her designs.
Really it makes the Celestia thing more interesting. While Celestia seems to actually care about his being comfortable she didn't seem to truly care about his wellbeing because it fufilled her selfish desire for companionship. The similarities are eerie.
Can I please just show up and kill Umbra now?
She's reached the point where I'd just spend a few hours beating her into paste one body part at a time because she's just the distilled awfulness of every condescending know-it-all villain, complete with a list of TV Trope quotes.
Why can I feel John channeling clint eastwood after Umbra's last foray into his mind...
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/37600000/Clint-Eastwood-in-Heartbreak-Ridge-clint-eastwood-37688815-1600-900.jpg
9714648
geez i'm starting to see what people keep downvoting you
10192630
He’s been doing this for damn near a decade now