• Member Since 14th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen 25 minutes ago


You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?


Anon 69 News a reliable, trusted news network to get all your daily news from around Equestria.

A/N: I'll try to update everyday. No actual sex is in here. Just mentions of it.

Also thank you artanisjerin89 for proof reading.

Anon 69 Hall of Fame

Featured April 13th, 2020! Woohoo! I want to thank my dog, the voice in my head, and the demon that lives in the basement.

Milestone 69
69th like milestone reached on on March 31st by BlankJRM.

Drinking Contest
Stella finally won the beer drinking contest against Anonymous on April 3rd. The score is now 1-56.

Most Dedicated
Cracker Jack has reported the most stories to Anon 69 Public Radio.

Twig-Chick Twigs has come to work today. . . that is all.

Likes and dislikes formed the number 22222 on August 2nd 2020

Anon 69 side story


Chapters (49)
Comments ( 465 )

Welp, just read the third report, I have a feeling this channel is gonna go far, if Anon ever survives the Flu outbreak, nevertheless, this is a good fic
Just please make a longer chapter, like a 2 parter hostage with Discord involved(but not as the culprit) :pinkiehappy:

Welp this is silly fun. Sign me up for more.

Huh, I'm not sure if I can do anything about that. I apologize.

He hehe, thanks. This is just a random idea. And I'll to try to make it longer, its just easier for me to manage.

The whole film you can barely see because I was rushing and my finger was over the camera a little bit

Sorry, force of habit. Not used to writing pony stories yet.

Rainbow of doom to CNM: WHERE IS YOUR GODDESS NOW!?

And did you know bat ponies really, really, love fruit. In fact, we have video of what happens when you leave a bat pony alone with a pear. Unfortunately we can't play it due to its graphic and sexual content. Not even the audio. Freaky, right?

You mean this one?

Don't burn yourself out; happens far to easy.

Paniced screaming starts.

Dan, get the minecart

Needs some proof-reading but since I know the intention it's still an amusing read. I've said this any times over the years: Spell-check only helps with your spelling a word correctly. It does not help choose the correct word.

I figured I'd do that today. Auto correct is a hell of a bitch. I would say 'she' and it would put 'he.' You get the picture.

"Yes in fact, the princess issues an official statement today strongly condemning the Queen's announcements by saying quote, "if you crusty ass bugs want a molest off, then you got yourselves one."


that I am not sure I want the answers to.

I tell you what, Cadence aint backing down from a challenge

Well, that actually sounds like something those ponies might actually do.
Just ponies doin' pony things.

Small Note:
When you reply to an comment make sure to put your reply in the same chapter as the original comment; otherwise the author of the origina comment won't get an notification.

I am Leslie H. Price, and this is the Topical.

Yeah, I was inspired by them. But do not fret deer citizen! For I wont copy and paste, just take some ideas and mold it. The rest would be completely original. Like the one I'm currently working on

I only trust the finest intrepid flagship reporting by the finest in equestrian news: ANON 69 — "If Walter Cronkite did two grams of crack and a little bit of Valium this is the result!"

Big snort.

I will have you know we are sober 24/7 and we provide the best news there is.

"Anon, why'd you stop? Keep snorting. We have to snort this before the princesses find out about it."

Coming, coming.

"How the f**k did he get in here... AGAIN?!"

Think Luna is going to have to amp up security.

I think they tried that already tnh lol. He jsut uses ANON MAGIC to do his s**t is my new head canon

I’m honestly surprised Annon didn’t ask Discord for her mouth. *wink wink*

Oh I bet he did, just didn't want the public to know about it. But to say the least, pretty sure Stella was angry and aroused during that time he used it.

Will he learn from this? Or will he find another way to annoy Princess Luna?

That's an rhetorical question, right?

Stella is sleeping, being a bat and all.

Is Stella the batpony inspired by this story?

[Adult story embed hidden]

Or just random chance?

What, no, never! I wouldn't use someone elses oc.

Points gun.

Delete that shit now.

I am secretly reading the lines of Stella with a Scottish accent.

And I have no idea why !]

Have you (Anon) tried washing his hands in vinegar and offering them to Lyra to pay off that deal? It might guarentee she never asks again if they taste bad.

I feel like Anon should win a Pulitzer Prize for journalism, mainly because he actually tries to cover all the latest stories as well as he can despite the silliness of them all considering the how ponies blow everything out of proportion.

Here's my question:
When Luna was beating you to a bloody pulp, did you get a boner?

Salt n vinegar chips are a thing. She might just like em more.

Dear Anon, being the only human and being a healthy, normally, male we were wondering... just how blue are those balls? Or have you gone native?

"He then continued to do a series of gestures with his tentacles. All the while shouting things, and I quote, "Hey look at me." and "I'm a big scary monster, about to destroy your world. You should probably run, or something." We interviewed a mare named Lyre Heartstrings on the matter."

Pretty sure this is supposed to be green not red

Yes, but the concept works on animals you don't want chewing on cords in your home. You just make it pure vinigar and not the water diluted stuff used in cooking and cleaning products.

This is real journalism! The reporting here is worthy of a Pulitzer or something!

So Anon besides the obvious, you bone any other ponies besides Stella?

How do you keep pumping out good storys on a daily baisys my dude?
Honestly I'm impressed!

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