Crystal Empire Leaves Big Saran-Wrapped Bowl Of Potato Salad At Equestrian Border After Making Too Much
Equestria getting a big potato snack today.
And everyone seems to paint the Caribou nation as a bunch of rapists. Hear from their king why that is completely misguided information lead by the media.
From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Twigs and this is Anon 69 News. Anonymous is out at the moment, desperately trying to convince Princess Luna why aligning the stars to, "Anon Has Big Penis" is so important.
Today's sponsor- oh we hadn't had a sponsor in a while- is the. . . Royal Guard? Huh, thought they would choose a much more uh, professional news outlet. Anyways, are you ready to take on the mantle of leadership? Well, join the Equestrian Royal Guard! Serve your country the the best way you can. Persevere through your challenges. And you don't definitely stand around the castle all day doing nothing. Don't even ask about it. Seriously. Don't ask about it. The Equestrian Royal Guard, guarding Equestria for a better tomorrow.
Now, moving on.
Noting that it would be just a gosh-darned shame to let perfectly good food go to waste, the Crystal Empire left a big Saran-wrapped bowl of potato salad at the Equestrian border Wednesday after making way too much.
Joining us now, Stella.
"Hello, Twigs. How you doing today?"
Tired. Wanted to sleep in today. Anyways, what is the situation on the uh, Potato Salad?
“There’s no way we could finish all of this potato salad ourselves,” The Crystal Empire said in a note attached to a large aluminum mixing bowl heaping with the creamy side dish, which had been made with extra red onions, sprinkled liberally with cheddar cheese, topped with carefully arranged hard-boiled egg slices, and left just over on the Equestria's side of the border for their neighbors to enjoy.
"They then went on to say,
“It’s still a little warm, but it will taste just as great cold or at room temperature, and it’ll keep up to a week or so in the fridge, no problem. Just don’t leave it out here in the sun too long or it may turn. Don’t tell anyone, but the secret ingredient is Miracle Whip. Gives it a tangy little kick.” At press time, the Crystal Empire had been overheard loudly commenting that they hoped Equestria would at least rinse the bowl before giving it back this time."
Did Equestria rinse it, then sent it back?
"At this time, we don't know. But some sources, which shall not be named, say they did in fact send it back rinsed. They even say, Equestria sent them a big thing of green bean casserole along with it."
Seems like the Crystal Empire and Equestria's relationship is better than ever. Thank you, Stella for that.
"No problem. Hey, get some rest after this, k'ay."
Yes, mom.
Chuckling.
"See you later, Twigs."
See ya.
This has been Anon 69 News with Twigs Leaf. I'm going to bed now.
Click.
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Nice. Green bean casserole is amazing.
Royal Guard: "Usually we would, but we recetly suffered some serious budget cuts, so we had to fall back to the worst, but cheapest news outlet in existence."
Twigs: "Good to hear that! We... wait, had we just been insulted?"
10432811
Well I mean they're not wrong. Christ, the whole podcast is recorded in Anon's apartment.
This has been a hilarious ride so far, I'm looking forward to more.
Would love to see the main casts (mane 6, princesses, spike etc) reaction to anon radio show.
10433123
That would be interesting to see.
No amount of PR is ever going to convince anyone that they can't be trusted...
10433349
I made that little bit because I never understood why specifically Caribou were chosen as big bad rapists.
I keep forgetting the Caribou are a thing.
Anyway, I'm curious how Anon plans to convince Luna his idea is valid, and how Luna reacts to all of his attempts.
10433386
Because the author of that story was a chauvinistic Reindeer furry with self indulgent rape fantasies.
10433725
really?
10433725
Jesus.
10433153
10433856
Yeah, I make it a point to avoid his stuff after seeing some of his comments of him being even worse and discrediting other authors who wrote fics where Daine was defeated. He tried to claim his plot armor for Daine was indisputible and they were "noncanon" and he had god armor to prevent it. Pretty pathetic and immature in my opinion.
10434313
Wait, wait, wait. So this dude wanted him to be an all powerful rapist and anyone who wrote about him getting his ass kicked was deemed non-cannon? Kinda F'ed up.
10434326
That was the entire fic. An all powerful Caribou King conquers Equestria and breaks all mares into mindless breeding stock. Any conflict or resistance is pointless fluff.
The End.
10434363
Sounds like a really bad hentai if you ask me.
10434436
somepeople need to get laid and work that bullshit out of their system.
10434740
Hentai or the whole. . . rape thing?
10434769
the rape thing.
This fic is great.
On an unrelated note: Today on the borders between the Crystal Empire and Equestria, there were a group of female creatures that looked similar to Anonymous, except they had light skin and the hair on their heads hung in an unflattering style. They constantly scowled and demanded to see the manager. When Anon was shown these creatures, he reportedly panicked, calling them Karens and they should, and I quote "Kill them all with fire!" Princesses Celestia and Cadance tried to negotiate with the Karens, but they reportedly screeched constantly about wanting to speak to the manager. The talk ultimately broke down and Celestia summoned a massive jerry can of kerosene and a box of matches to deal with the Karens.
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i.ibb.co/cFDLyc1/Write-that-down.jpg