Anon 69 News

by Amilition

King Execution: GONE WRONG!!! 😱

An execution gone wrong today.

And- what are you doing?

"Zimply inzpecting this."

But I'm in the middle of doing an episode.

"Zo, thiz can broadcazt mezzagez acrozz Equeztria?'

Yeah, but can you not, right now? Literally any other time would be great.

"Idea~!"

Get out, damn it!

"Ok, ok."

Door opens and closes.

Ahem. As I was saying. And did you know the fur coat of the famous tailor Rarity, is not actually white but a slight grey color? Learn why people actually are upset about this.

From a place far, far away, I am your green space monkey Anonymous, and this is Anon 69 News.

Joining us today, the former griffin King himself. How are you doing your majesty?

"Oh, don't worry about titles Anonymous. Left them when guillotine dropped on me."

Of course, of course. So can you break down what happened?

"Ok, so, I am sitting in small jail cell. Not very happy, mind you. Then, two guards come and take me."

And where did they take you?

"They take me in front of my people. Or, they were my people. Traitors I tell you. Anyways, they take me to giant guillotine, biggest I have ever seen, and they put my head on it."

Were you scared?

"Of course not. I was about to be beheaded by giant guillotine. If anything, I felt honored that giant guillotine was to be used on me."

Wow, and next?

"Well, I closed my eyes and giant blade come down, but nothing happens. Or so I thought. I open my eyes and find myself in basket! I couldn't move any part of body. Only my mouth and eyes! I was beheaded, but still alive!"

Must of been a weird experience.

"It truly was. And when they sent somegriffion to collect me, I spouted all sorts of vulgar words at them."

What was their reaction?

"Ha! Should've seen reaction. Priceless! They were all so shocked! Ha ha!"

And after?

"They put me in pickle jar! Literally! I was sentenced to be in that jar forever! Er, well, until you kidnapped me for interview."

Hey, shut your beak! They're not supposed to know that.

"Oh, forgot that. Sorry, sorry. But on other topic, can I stay with you? I currently have no place to stay. Overthrown will leave you homeless. You don't even have to feed me, don't really have stomach."

That was the plan anyway. But try not to interact with Razor Blade, she's really not a fan of you.

"You think I have been ignoring all the death stares she gives when she passes me?"

Fair point.

Anyways, this has been Anonymous from Anon 69 News. If I die, please let Luna know that she's a giant bi-

Beep.

---

Equeztrianz, don't lizten to your government! They lie! Join the Griffin Empire under the excellent rule of King Mirrikh. Then we can-

"What do you think your doing?"

Gah! Wha- when did you get out of your jar!

"When I see rat spreading propaganda and lies using Anonymous' weird machine!"

It iz not propaganda and lize!. It iz the truth!

"Watch, you're going to regret overthrowing me."

Zayz the food fucker!

"Don't kink shame me, you Prench sounding chicken!"

You dare make fun of my aczent!

Incoherent yelling.

Door slams open.

"By Luna's wonderful left tit, what is going on in here?! It's two in the goddamn morning! Your asses are lucky Stella ain't here."

Hez being a complete azzhole!

"She is spreading lies!"

Am not!

"Yu huh!"

Nu uh!

"Yu huh!"

Nu hu-

"Shut it! Just turn it off and go to bed. Your majesty, I'll help you back into your jar."

"I told you Anon, formalities don't matter to me. Just call me Hennery."

But- he- I sigh fine.

"Ha ha!"

You little-

Vrmmmmmmm click.

Author's Note:

And as always, thank you artanisjerin89!

Comments

[bdoubleowo]

This is amazing.

[Lockend]

Great series, I would upvote it twice if I could

[vortex123]

I can’t wait for the next questions chapter

[Johnny B Mediocre]

getting some Onion + vid related vibes from this fic and I love it

[bdoubleowo]

"By Luna's wonderful left tit, what is going on here?!"

I died at that line.

[Amilition]

10561545
That question will be noted for when the question box opens.

And using the power of HINDSIGHT, I could tell you enjoyed this. I'm glad you like it and thank you for your support!

10561386
With the power of multiple accounts! Kidding of course. Thanks for saying that! It wows me that I can actually write something entertaining.

10561446
Soon my friend! Soon.

Evil laughter intensifies.

10561464
We will be sure to keep you posted at the Anon 69 News headquarters.

10561517
That's where my inspiration came from. Feel like they go underappreciated sometimes.

10561579
No plan is bad if you haven't tried it yet.

-Mahatma Gandhi. . . probably.

[PonyDragon]

Well, that was random. Again!

Good work.

[FirewaspRambo]

I guess you could call him pickle grif now

[Coretz]

10523703
Well, they do have a connection to The Royal Guard... And members of the press can get much closer to the princesses...

[Amilition]

10562718
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