Sounds of screeching.
The bats are in the walls. The bats are in the walls. T-the bats are in the walls. They are trying to get in here! They are trying to get in, and put me in the walls.
Deranged laughing.
Somepony help me! Let me out! The bats are putting me in the walls! Stop it! Stop it! STOP! IT! PLEASE!
Anonymous 69 News is presented by the Wonderbolts. Coming to Ponyville this weekend. Get your tickets while you still can.
The beasts have come, the beasts have come for their tithing and tributes. Ugh, curse you winged beasts! Cease you reign of terror or. . .
Sounds of screeching.
Oh! Could it be! Not a sound of this realm at all, but the relentless of misbegotten spirits? Oh, restless indeed. Revenge!
You think these hands haven't collected blood?! Begone tormentors! You deserve what fate you met at my hands! Hahaha!
Sound of a screech.
Oh? What's this? The sound of one alone? Have you joined as one? For only one persists. A bat king. A bat king of spirits!
Again, the monster stirs. That demon! That fiend! His plundering of claws! The shadow of death that haunts me in the darkness.
Though, I suppose I could turn on the light and open the drapes for that.
Sound of drapes being opened.
And now for my mallet. Ah, yes. Me mallet. My trusty bedside mallet!
Chuckle.
Every nail, claw, scale, and spur, ever spike and wilt on the hand of that heathen brute was like barbed steel.
Everypony said there was no horned iron hand hard enough to peirce him through. No proofed blade that could cut his brutal cut-caked claw.
Will you shut up, Anon! I'm trying to hear where that incessant noise is coming from.
Oh, well excuse~ me, Anon, for trying to class this joint up a bit. I see you barely bothered to get dressed today. Again!
Your one to talk.
Your right! How about we both stop talking so we can hear?
How about shut up!
No, you!
No, you!
Boys, boys, we are all going to die in here if you both don't shut the ever-loving fuck up.
Sorry, Anon.
Sorry, Anonymous.
Better. Now, kiss and makeup.
Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
Sounds of one kissing their own hand.
Mm, mm.
Enough of that for now, we have our whole lives for that! It's time to slay the beast before the beast slays us. Anon, me mallet. Give it to me.
Here you are.
Uh!
Sounds of dry wall breaking.
Ha ha ha ha!
Uh!
Sounds of more dry wall breaking.
Uh!
Crash!
The vase!
Shut it Anon!
Sounds of destruction continue.
"Hey! Shut the fuck up! What are you doing up there?!"
Shh! The floor. It speaks. Silence, floor! Uh!
Crack!
Laughing.
And the walls, the wretched screeching of the walls! Oh, God, we're all going to die in here Anonymous! Do something!
Sobbing.
Will you shut up and pull it together, Anon, your Anonymous goddamn Sam goddamn Sax. Am I going to lie back and die here alone and naked, drinking can after can of mayo chowder just because some bats says so? Or am I going to die with my shirt on and soup-less with dignity? It's not my time yet.
I never slapped Celestia's ass yet. I've never had public sex before. Anonymous Sam Sax doesn't go down without a fight.
Dry wall breaking.
It's time for my escape. I will not be a prisoner!
Crash.
Me get-y out-y.
Bang.
You could not cage this tiger!
Crack!
Me! Get-y! Out-y!
Door opens.
"Hey, Anonymous! I forgot to tell you before I left. Don't take the pills on the desk. It's only meant for bat ponies. It can have severe side affects on other- oh dear Celestia! Damn it! Did you take those pills!"
You mean the candy?
"No- it's not- ugh! Just sit your naked ass down."
B-but the screeching-
"There is no screeching. Fuck sakes! You damaged the walls and the floor!"
The floor was talking-
"Zip it! I'm going to call the hospital and have them pick you up."
I-I'm normal though-
Smack!
"Quiet! Why is this thing turned on?"
I was-
Growl.
Click.