Anon 69 News

by Amilition

Cruise Ship 'Gigantic' Presumed To Be Sunk For Over 25 Years, Shows Up On The Docks Of Manehattan With A Remarkable Message

A cruise ship that has been supposedly sunk for over 25 years shows up on Manehattan's doorstep with a surprising statement.

And did you know, if you ate 400 bananas a day, radiation will soon kill you. Now you get to hear how Princess Celestia is in the hospital.

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. If you don't like us, you can meet me in the alleyway so we can fight it out.

Astonishing news today, as the ship known as, 'Gigantic,' presumed to be sunk for over 25 years, shows up at Manehattan's docks today with a surprising statement. Covering the Story is Anon 69 Correspondent Jeff.

"Not even using a variation of my name this time?"

What were you saying Daniel?

Sigh.

"Earlier today, a ship supposedly to be sunk for more than 25 years, has turned up on the docks of Manehatten. Gathering a large group of ponies, they announced that they have never sunk. And in fact, have been living on a island as shavists. Take a listen."

"Ponies of Equestria! You thought we sunk! That we perished beneath the waves! But you are wrong! We live damn it! We live! We have been living on an island this whole time as shavists!"

Firsts things first, the hell is a shavists?

"It's when a pony shaves all their fur. Kinda like a nudist you told us about from your world."

What? I never told you about that.

"You were drunk Anon."

Oh. Well, if they were living on that island this whole time, why return now?

"He actually came back to gain more followers."

How many followers did he gain, exactly?

"Surprisingly amount of 200-300 ponies. He hosted a mass shaving convention for all the ponies that signed up."

Wow.

"We interviewed a few of them

"I thought it would be, like, a new experience for me, you know? Travel to an island and be, like, all shaved and stuff. Who can say they ever did that in their life?"

"To be honest with you dude, I don't even know what I sighed up for. I was, and still am, baked off of that good kush dude. But, like, I want to see where this will take me dude. All about the new experience baby."

They seem motivated. Do we know if they will ever return again?

"Yes we do, Anonymous. Before promptly leaving, they said they will be back for, "more toilet paper."

How much toilet paper did they even have before?

"Apparently enough to last over 25 years."

Amazing. Well thank you Harambe, for covering this story.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. I'll be seeing you.

Click.

Comments

[PonyDragon]

Could be worse...

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10182384
*looks at your avatar and bio text"
You had been waiting all year to say this line, didn't you?

[JustAnotherHistoryBuff]

108 years ago... the Titanic went down.

[Amilition]

10182384
Sad really

10182376
i.ibb.co/Hzx73ph/300px-No-No-He-s-Got-a-Point.jpg