Anon 69 News

by Amilition

Memorial Honors Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster

The town of Neighbria in a sad, sad ceremony today, honoring those who will die in the imminent dam disaster.

And scientist have found a strange anomaly. Once you mention its name, Prometheus, you will lose all memory about it. . . what was I talking about?

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. We present you the news like your some ambassador. Weird fetish, I know.

Today we are sponsored by The Wonderbolts. The Wonderbotls will be playing here in Canterlot this weekend. Get your tickets now before they sell out or you might have to watch it from a far in a bush you fucking creep. Now back to our story.

Earlier today, the town of Neighbria built a memorial for the impending deaths of the residents. Cracker Jack joins us now for more on the story. Hello Cracker.

"Greetings Anonymous."

So tell us, why did they build this memorial?

"As you know, the popular land mark, the Folsom Dam, has been a beacon of prosperity. But ever since a spillway gate has been leaking for the past four years, its been nothing but a symbol of doom for the hundreds maybe thousands of souls that will soon be consumed by its on rushing waters. But this year, the mayor has finally decided to act, budgeting 20,000 bits to build a memorial for the victims of the inevitable tragedy. Here is the mayor now."

"This disaster. . . will have been preventable. All of the warnings signs are here now. . . yet, nopony will do nothing. . . or anything about it.

So let me get this straight, this could and can still be totally avoided, right?

"Yes. They have all the resources and bits needed to fix it. Yet, they choose not to."

. . . wow.

"Unveild at a ceremony today the Folsom disaster remembrance statue is intended to provide comfort for those who are about to lose their family members, friends or even their own lives in the disaster. We asked the mayor's assistant for any words on this matter. Here is what she said.

"I only wish there was some way to avoid this terrible tragedy. . . that didn't require so much funding."

Sounds really tragic. Do we know where they're building the memorial?

"Yes we do Anon. The memorial is built on high ground overlooking the dam so that it won't be swept away along with the rest of the town and its citizens. It was designed by griffin artist, Rocky Egg. Here is what she has to say about it."

"This memorial is a classic Equestrian style because this would be a historic national tragedy."

"The memorial will be etched with the names of the victims once they're killed. One name is already been added, Blizzard Snowflake, a civil engineer who works in the dams control tower and will be undoubtedly be the first to be killed by the 80 billion tons of water once it bursts. He let us talk to him and his wife about this soon to be tragic event."

"The memorial will be the place where we will remember him forever."

"My grave won't matter because they're not gonna find my body."

Do we know how many ponies it wil fit on the memorial?

"Well Anon, the memorial was designed to accommodate 500 names after considering the number of homes in the area."

"I will take full responsibility. . . for when the tragedy happens. I am tendering my resignation effective the day the dam finally breaks."

"I think once the massive death toll becomes apparent, I will end my own life."

Well thank you Mr. Jack on the story. I will be seeing you.

"Thanks, Anon. Cracker out."

Sigh.

I'm sure one of the princesses will fix this.

This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. See you till next time.

Click.

Comments

[Amilition]

10142401
I tell you what, Cadence aint backing down from a challenge

[PonyDragon]

Well, that actually sounds like something those ponies might actually do.
Just ponies doin' pony things.

Small Note:
When you reply to an comment make sure to put your reply in the same chapter as the original comment; otherwise the author of the origina comment won't get an notification.

[JustSomeDyslexic]

This is just pony onion isn't?

[Amilition]

10142527
I am Leslie H. Price, and this is the Topical.

Yeah, I was inspired by them. But do not fret deer citizen! For I wont copy and paste, just take some ideas and mold it. The rest would be completely original. Like the one I'm currently working on

[Amilition]

10142556
Big snort.

I will have you know we are sober 24/7 and we provide the best news there is.

"Anon, why'd you stop? Keep snorting. We have to snort this before the princesses find out about it."

Coming, coming.

[Prometheushunter2]

Damn antimemetic anomalies making us forget about them