• Published 21st Mar 2020
  • 5,850 Views, 465 Comments

Anon 69 News - Amilition



Equestria's only human, Anon, starts his own news podcast.

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Patient Rushed Into Unnecessary Surgery To Save Bits

A patient was urgently rushed to the hospital for unnecessary surgery this evening.

And can I come to terms with my inner demons? Most likely not.

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. Did I slap Celestia on the ass? Maybe, but you can't prove it.

This evening a stallion was forced out of his house to go under unnecessary surgery. Joining us is Cracker Jack. Hello, Cracker.

"Greetings, Anonymous."

So why exactly did they rush this stallion into the emergency room?

"Well according to sources, the hospital is close from going bankrupt. So in order to save bits, they have forcefully barged into homes of unsuspecting ponies and taken them into the emergency room to do operations."

Poor dudes. Can't imagine what transpired.

"Nope, but you can hear it."

"Everypony! In, in, in! We got an emergency!"
"Huh, wha- hey! Put me down!"

"Sorry sir, can't do that.

"Why!?"

"We need to get you to the hospital fast, your going under surgery."

"I don't need surgery! Get me out of here!"

"He's becoming delirious. Quick, put him under anesthesia."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Wait! No! Don't put that on me- omf!"

Audible snoring.

"Ok, load him up."

Jesus. Well, thank you, Jack for reporting on this.

"Your welcome."

This has been, Anonymous from Anon 69 news. I'll be see you later.

Click.

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