Anon 69 News

by Amilition

Griffin Guards Travel Three Hours Away From Capital Before Realizing Abducted Protester Still In The Back Of Their Wagon

Griffin guards in a scuffle today as they realize they forgot about a protester in the back of their wagon after traveling three hours away from the Griffstone capital.

And I learned, personally, that Luna indeed does not have a body pillow of me.

Whispering.

*Sigh*

And that I am a stupid, moronic ape that shouldn't be snooping around in other ponies closets.

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. I highly regret saying what I said the other day.

Cursing their inattention and debating whether they should turn around, several griffin guards reportedly had traveled three hours away from Griffinstone capital Friday before realizing an abducted protester was still in the wagon. Covering this now, Stella joins us. Hello, Stella.

"Hello. Hey, did I tell you that I really enjoyed the deal we made with Luna last ni-"

Stella! Not on the job.

"Fiiiine."

Now, ahem, tell us about the uh griffins.

“ Oh yes! When realizing that they forgot a protester, this was their reactions. "Celestia damnit, how did we miss him?” said griffin guards Hawk Lajor to his partner after hearing muffled cries from a handcuffed griffin and registering that he must have been unconscious in the back of their hay wagon for nearly 200 miles since the griffins had pulled out of the capital."

“Shit, we hightailed it out of there so quickly we didn’t even check the back wagon. Hey, Hawk, did you pick up this guy? I don’t remember grabbing him and shoving him back there. Fuck, our ass is grass if we show up at base with an abducted protester. Somebird look around this village's newspapers to see if anybird's reporting about him going missing. There’s only one, right? Check under the hay bails.” At press time, the federal agents had decided to pull over at the next ditch and stab him."

Was the body ever found?

"We are not allowed to look for it unless we want to "disappear." That is if we don't "disappear" after reporting this."

Well, I'll be fearing for my life tonight. Thank you, Stella.

"No problem."

And can we not talk about the, incident, last night? I'm sore on the you know what.

"Only if you buy me a fruit basket."

Deal.

"Yes!"

This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. I'll be seeing you.

Click.

Comments

[Sigmacipher]

If the final chapter of this merry romp ends with the entire cast and crew being stabbed, Imma gonna be annoyed.

[PonyDragon]

And I learned, personally, that Luna indeed does not have a body pillow of me.

More likely she was able to hide it in time.
You have to look again!

Also, please elaborate about this deal with Luna...

[Amilition]

10363234
"Don't tell Anon, but the deal was that we played a little game of Cat and Mouse. In exchange of Luna not beating Anon for sharing private information. Me and Luna being the cat, obviously, and Anonymous being the mouse. It was such fun when we cought him too. Again, keep it shut."

[vortex123]

The protester should have kept his mouth shut.

[DarkDMan]

Oh, the implications on that game!

Good job!

[spikls]

10363192
Spoiler alert the shenanigans ends with them all being stabbed in the arm with needles at a clinic because they're getting vaccinations