Anon 69 News

by Amilition

Apocalypse Day 6 Of 7: Defenses

Author's Note:

Point out any mistakes please. Again, had to rush a bit. Racing against time.

Man. . . I should probably get my sleep schedule back in order. These naps are killing me.

Push!

Sound of furniture scraping.

Push!

Sound of furniture scraping.

Ok that should do it.

"You sure?"

Definitely. Just as long as you don't move the specific wood plank.

"The one between the couch and bookshelf?"

Yeah that one. Just don't move it. Or it will collapse the whole barricade.

"You got it."

Just remember to go no where near it. I'm serious.

"B-but I just said-"

Don't touch it!

"I feel like this is foreshadowing something."

Hmmm. . . nah. It would be more obvious.

---

Defending your position in a last stand can be hard for newbies. Here is some tips to hold off the mares till your rescued.

And did Princess Luna carve 'cunt' on the moon during imprisonment to get back at Princess Celestia?

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. We will shove the news down your throat till your begging.

So now you got your situation where there's no escape so now you resorted to defending your position. A last stand, if you will. Here are some quick considerations when building your defenses.

When setting up a last stand, you need to find a hold up area. A preferable place to set up in is in a room with only one door and, if possible, no windows. This way, it's easier to control where the sex addicts are coming from. It'd be a bonus if you were facing a long hallway.

Step two, hold them off. Grab yourself some things to throw. Specifically sex objects. No sex toys? Then grab anything that could be used as one. Such as, cucumbers, bottles, hell even a small link of bouncy balls. If you can't find anything,use brooms and fly swatters. Spray bottles if need be.

Now that we got that part over with, its time you start putting up your defenses soldier. Now you want to start by putting up barbed wire-

Whispering.

Wha- oh. Uh huh. Your kidding me? Fuck, I wanted to do that so badly. Now I think about it, it probably would create a hole in the floor. Alright, thanks.

Ahem. Turns out not everpony has barbed wire. Damnit. I was next going to tell you to start to dig seven foot trenches. Man, that would be awesome. Moving on.

You want to start by grabbing furniture that comes up to your knee. That would be your front line of defense. You will hold out the first wave of mares here using your long brooms. This will be the toughest part of your defense but it should last about five, maybe seven minutes before you have to retreat.

Now start grabbing furniture about chest hight. Maybe a couch, a few chairs, even a table if you flip it over. This will be your support line. You will provide long distance support over to the front line. It will also hold as a place to fall back to if the front line has fallen.

You now want to grab head height or taller furniture. Shelves and such. You will put these between the door way. This will be known as the reserve line. It will host violated stallions trying to overcome what mares did to them. It will be your last line of defense if all has failed.

This should about do it. I salute you fellow male and wish you luck. This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. I'll be seeing you.

Click.

"There breaking through!"

What did I tell you! Don't. Touch. The. Plank!

"I'm sorry! It looked like it wanted to be touched so bad!"

That makes no sense!

"I know!"

Now you got us-ack!

"Shut it! Your going to kill the mood."

Your fault Twigs!

"I'm sorr-oof!"

"You look tasty!"

---

"And what happened next grampa Anon?!"

Legend has it, that they are still being molested till this day.

"Wooow!"

They even-

"Hey! What are you doing in my house! Get away from my son!"

Oooeee! Here I go escaping again!

"Bye bye!"

"Honey! Bring me my sword!"

"Is he back again!"

"Yes!"

You will never catch me alive!

"Damn right!"

Ahhh!

Comments

[Theprophetice]

Use tactic from world war one. mg 34, the magino line, the vicker mg heck use the .50 cal if you need or put yourself in a tank

[Mist_Chaser]

10164935
That would work if there was any evidence Equestria had guns or tanks.

[Theprophetice]

10165009
Yeah...

[JustAnotherHistoryBuff]

The best way to survive the heat would simply be surviving in a fortified Royal Guard camp. If you want extra defenses, I suggest a few MG42 emplacements with rubber bullets.

[vortex123]

You will never catch me alive!

"Damn right!"

Ahhh!

Gonna have to remember that one.

[Omegaxxx]

Have you heard... the human broke into thr adams house the other day?
Really? He broke into my house last night!
God he's annoying...

[WorldWalker128]

10165009
cannons and rainbow dash's turtle.

[PonyDragon]

Step two, hold them off. Grab yourself some things to throw. Specifically sex objects. No sex toys? [...] If you can't find anything,use brooms and fly swatters. Spray bottles if need be.

Would an riding crop work?
Maybe it will trigger some mare-instinct and they will lay down with their belly up, giving you more time.

"You look tasty!"

That one was Twilight, right?
Good luck, you will need it.

[Coretz]

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. We will shove the news down your throat till your begging.

Change that to til the choker breaks.