A horrible mistake may of costed this young bakers life.
And apparently salt is an illegal drug here in Equestria, I'll be seeing you fuckers in rehab.
From Anon 69 Public Radio, I am Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. If you listen closely, you can almost hear the pained cries of trees as you chop them down.
Quickly grabbing for a kitchen knife as the warm, doughy tendril wrapped around her neck, local mare Baked Brownie urged her roommates to “run, dear Celestia, run” Friday after the sourdough starter she forgot about burst from its mason jar. “For Celestia's sake, I’ll hold it back, but get out of here while you still can,” said Ms. Brownie, as the rapidly expanding, 400-pound sourdough starter she began as a fun project three months ago emitted a terrifying high-pitched screech, picked her up, and repeatedly bashed her body against the floor and ceiling. “Seriously, it’s not working! The yeast is reacting in such a way that every time I hack off a tentacle, three more grow back in its place. Run! Before it finds more flour and takes over the whole apartment building.” At press time, Ms. Brownie could be heard screaming “Mother! No, why!” right before the sourdough starter swallowed her whole and spit out a totally clean skeleton.
And that's all we have for today. This has been Anonymous from Anon 69 news and I'll find you, and I will build a Lego house around you.
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