Equestrians buying useless things among a flu crisis. In witch, I can't find any damn toilet paper to wipe my ass with.
And old rules books dating back to BNM have been found. Seems like there used to be a rule in witch every week, each citizen was required to give a whole cake to Celestia.
From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. Hope your ears are hungry because we are about to feed them a news buffet.
Anon 69 News is sponsored by Sweet Apple Acres. The sweetest apples in Equestria. Go on and buy a few while they last. Don't make me beg.
Bad news, a new flu has broken out, and citizens are scared. This has caused them to go to grocery stores and go on a buying spree, buying what ever their little grubby hoofs can get. Here with me is a new Anon 69 Correspondent, Cracker Jack. Hello Cracker.
"Hi Mr. Anonymous."
Please, call me Anon. So, have we learned anything about the virus? Symptoms and such?
"Well, researchers observed that first signs of this flu is the uncontrollably feeling to scream non stop."
Oh that's horrifying.
"Indeed it is."
Have we heard anything from either of the princesses?
"Yup. Princess Celestia gave a speech about it three days ago. Here is a clip;
My little ponies. The situation is under control. My dear student is working hard to find a vaccine to this flu. Do not panic-
"We're all gonna die! Everypony for themselves!"
Panicked screaming starts.
"Wait, my little ponies- hey don't throw that- put that back! Just calm down and- my crown!"
Static.
Oh wow.
"This then caused ponies to go on a panic shopping spree across the land. Buying everything they can get."
What would you say is the most top item Equestrians buy?
"That would be toilet paper."
No wonder I can't buy any. Its because they keep buying them all.
"I feel your pain. I had to use my dog to wipe my behind."
Excuse me?
"Nothing!"
We'll thank you Mr. Jack for coming on.
"Your welcome Anon."
This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. I'll be seeing you.
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