//------------------------------//
// Luna In Critical Condition 
// Story: Anon 69 News 
// by Amilition 
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Luna is in critical condition today when she stabbed her self in the flank while cleaning her sword. Hear what her doctors say about her chances of surviving and just how surprised they were to learn that Luna has a flank.

And did you hear about the new fashion trend? Apparently you wrap tin foil around your horn. I tried it and it looks great! Don't ask me how I wrapped tin foil around my horn when I don't got one. That's a secret.

From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous and this is Anon 69 News. Remember to request for notifications in your newspaper to be alerted of future episode schedules, or if you'd prefer something more personal, send us your home address if you would like to have a Anon 69 Staff member throw a brick into your window every time a new episode is out. Anon 69 holds no responsibility for any property or personal damage including, death and dismemberment. Back with our lead story right after this.

This is yet again sponsored by Sweet Apple Acres. Sweetest Apples in Equestria. Thank god that they are able to sponsor us or we will be kicked out and forced to live on the streets. Again, Sweet Apple Acres. Sweetest Apples in Equestria.

Millions express concern today as the princess of the noon and the stars creation was rushed to the hospital today after accidentally stabbing her self wile cleaning her sword.

Joining us is another new Anon 69 Correspondent, Twiggles Leaf.

"Its actually Twigs but-"

Twigs let's get to it. Is Luna gonna survive this accident?

Sigh. "Anonymous, I am currently standing outside the Mayo Clinic, where just moments ago doctors have assured us that following surgery, Luna's condition is stabilizing. She is currently under observation, but as of now, doctors says the injuries do not seem to be life threatening. 

Well that's a relief, do we know what happened?

"The Night guard believe she stabbed herself in the right flank while cleaning her Zweihänder. Witnesses report the sound of her screaming at a, "Green Monkey" for, "Making her stab her self because he stroked her horn without her consent." At 7:45 in the morning. Followed by the royal highness her self stumbling into view clutching her flank with her wing. Followed by more screaming, "Oh fuck. Oh shit. It hurts so bad."

Well that sounds super concerning. And I bet that monkey just wanted to feel what a horn feels like. But it sounds like it could of been a lot worse.

"Oh absolutely. Luna is a big weapons collector, as you know, and if she was cleaning her Saber or her Dao, her injuries could have been far more serious.

Oh I bet.

"Doctor Snowfall was present for the surgery. Here is what she has to say.

"Fortunately, Luna has missed any major arteries and we were able to stich up the wound. There may be permanent scaring on the flank, but honestly, its a little hard to tell because her tail keeps getting in the way. It was hard to move the tail due to the tail being non-physical. We had to dig through so, so many stars."

Now Twiggles- 

"Its Twigs."

Luna is obviously a very high profile patient, and the fact that she was wounded has sparked a national conversation about weapons safety. There are hundreds of accidental weapons death each year, not even counting the Lunar and Celestial realms. Do you have any advice for our listeners about weapons safety to avoid an accident like this one?

"Yes. Responsible weapons owners are reminded to always make sure you put a dulling spell on your weapon before cleaning it. And to never point it at your self, star creator or not."

So when do we expect her highness to return to ruling with her sister?

"Well as you know, Luna is a real fighter, and we expect that there will be a relatively short period of time before he will make a full recovery. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we see her back on the training grounds today.

That is good news. Well thank you for coming on Twigs.

"I told you its Twi- oh. Uh, thank you Anonymous."

This has been Anonymous From Anon 69 News. I'll be seeing you.

Click.