When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong sex, and lost in the wilderness.

New Cover art commissioned from Lunar Froxy.

Rarity wants to dye.

An entry to the ROB-pocalypse speedfic challenge. Originally conceived and written in an hour. Presented on Fimfiction with a slightly better ending.

Featured on August 7, 2019

Cozy Glow, for her treason against the crown, thought she would be sent to Tartarus. To her misfortune, the Royal Guard aren't letting her off that easily. There is something out there that scares her even more than Equestria's worst prison.

Her mom waiting for her back home.

Once upon a time, the School of Friendship was praised and accredited, after its lessons drove a little filly mad. Imprisoned in Tartarus with only an ancient monstrous centaur to keep her company, Cozy Glow was in the perfect place for Grogar to whisk away so that he could force her to do his bidding.

Twilight Sparkle's friends, bastions of Equestria's highest virtues, left Cozy Glow forgotten and alone, locked in that rusty cage deep underground. Nopony ever attempted to visit her, check up on her, care for her, reform her, or try to find out what was wrong with her.

This is not that story.

Realistically, they have options. For example, they could flee to another country, except that the Princesses could track them down and besides, one of those borders just effectively closed. There's probably some caves around which nopony's ever fully explored. A life spent reeking of fur dye might be possible. Or they can just stay in the hallway outside the throne room, waiting to be called in so they can explain how their good intentions turned that last mission into the biggest fiasco in Bearer history.

...so where were those caves again?

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art taken from an image created by ExitMothership. Commission information can be found here.

Peter Westmoore, 19 years old. Friends describe him as hard working, but a stick in the mud.
Peter never enjoyed the party scene, not when he could be honing his skills as an animator, nor did he have a taste for alcohol. And what does all that responsibility get him? A quick night terror and being dragged to Equestria. Now he, or rather "she" has to find a way back to his/her world. But the six colors adorning his new equine shape simply keep getting in the way. How will a now stressed college student adapt to the happy go lucky world of ponies, and as a filly no less?

Special thanks to my editors; gerandakis and Jasperr Hart. For going through these chapters and helping me clean them up.

Hi, no the story isn't dead, I'm just on the loosest schedule I can manage and still call it a schedule.

Like I've said in previous comments, this stories muse is out for a match of tennis, so it's grinding by very slowly.

On top of that, the most recent chapters don't flow very well with the rest of the story, so here's what I'm thinking;

I'm going to put 'er on hiatus, and go back, do a bit of touch up work on the chapters, bring the whole story in for an overhaul, then continue once it's all cleaned up.

If that doesn't work out, then I'll just have to buckle down and force out the next few chapters, but I think we all know how well that would turn out.

CC~

In an unremarkable city, in an unremarkable hospital, to two unremarkable ponies, a filly was born. A filly who was all too remarkable. A filly who radiated Destiny, and Adventure.

Her parents, however, liked their unremarkable life, in their unremarkable city, and wanted nothing more for their little filly than to have a nice, normal, unremarkable youth. So whenever Destiny or Adventure reared their heads, they made sure to nip it in the bud. Magical portals, foreign princes, time travellers and mysterious salesponies of magical musical instruments all got the same answer:

Nope.

Based on the Nope: The Anime joke (original posts) that went around on Tumblr some years ago. Expect silliness.

Covert art based on a picture by greyscale / Theponysketchguy, edited by me to change her hair and eye colour and make her look younger.

Spanish version:
Un poni llamado Nop on DeviantArt, translated by SPANIARD KIWI.

Sunset Shimmer isn't like the other Freshman in Canterlot High School. While so many others explain away the strange things that happen in their town, she knows better. There's an entire world out there, a world of magic and incredible creatures, one that she's determined to reach.

Careful study and preparation brings her to the portal in front of her school, at the last moment of its opening. Sunset doesn't have a clue what might be waiting on the other side, but she's sure it will lead her to the magic she's always wanted.

No matter what it costs.

Updates Tuesdays.

This story was sponsored by my glorious enablers Bitera and Sparktail, who also did the editing. I know I don't deserve it. Want one of your own? Drop me a PM. Cover by Zutcha.

In the magical land of Equestria, there are no ponies.
In the sleepy town of Ponyville, there are no ponies.
In the glittering Castle of Friendship, there are no ponies.

So who are all these colorful quadrupeds?

The desire to sail was in Fancypants' blood. His father spent more time on the ocean than on land and his best memories as a colt were on his father's yacht. With the recent boom of ships able to sail through the air, Fancypants wasted no time in purchasing two or three and taking them on a trip past Equestria's shores.

During one voyage, severe weather strikes, and Fancypants is thrown overboard in a terrible accident. Expecting to drown in the cold waters, he is saved by a rather exotic creature.

But by gum, she is gorgeous...

Written for Robipony