“Okay, no problem, Starlight you’ll just...” Starlight said, pacing to the right, “You’ll just tell her exactly what she wants to hear, you’ll be the perfect leader, only showing your feelings at just the right time to manipulate her, and you’ll force Cozy Glow to give up all her secrets. There’s nothing wrong with this because she’s the crazy one, not you.”
Pacing to the left, Starlight continued, “You’re not crazy just because you feel like she’s gonna die the moment you press her for her past, and you can’t explain why. Sure, she pushes all your buttons at once, but you’re just an unfeeling machine who doesn’t have to respond to it. There is nothing wrong with you, your intentions are pure, your ideas are sound.
“Then you’ll convince Sea Swirl to heal by breaking her spirit!” Starlight said pleasantly with a disgusted roll of her eyes, pacing to the right, “That’ll work perfectly, with no problems. Just make sure she knows she’s worthless and keep her away from any sharp objects, and she’ll just magically get better. Then you’ll find out why Screwloose keeps relapsing, and you’ll comfort Trophy Pot by telling him that it’s good for him to be mutilated, because he’s utterly deranged and it’ll make him slightly easier to control once he’s settled in here.”
Pacing to the left, she said, “Never mind his injury is the source of his suffering. Why would anypony have to account for that? Why would ponies ever think that I don’t know what I’m doing? Why would they think this is an unprecedented institution in Equestria which is understaffed and poorly trained? Why would anypony think I can’t take all this on myself and just figure everything out, when I didn’t even think to make a cafeteria that every patient could eat in?
Turning aside to glare at the skull on her desk, Starlight snarled, “And what are you looking at?”
The skull had no answers for her.
“You’re a great listener, you know,” Starlight said in amusement to the skull, “Whoever you are. And that’s really the question here. Why do you have such curiously specific damage, and old injuries at that? Whose grave did Cozy Glow rob to get you, and why? Why was she opening up like she never had before, just to ask for you? You had no traces of enchantment, no inscribed runes, no secret messages carved inside the skull, and yes I checked, and I never want to cast a view-me-closer spell inside somepony else’s skull ever again.”
Squinting at the skull gave Starlight no answers either, though she did feel like she was getting comfortable with looking at it, from all this practice. Starlight Glimmer wasn’t sure whether or not she was comfortable with being comfortable around pony skulls. She cast a scanning spell on it again, but it revealed nothing other than the solid bone, and the preservation enchantment Starlight had cast upon it herself.
Sighing, Starlight levitated the skull, and went trotting off to Cozy Glow’s room, with it floating behind her in tow.
Starlight Glimmer didn’t know what to expect, when greeting the filly brightly, she opened up Cozy Glow’s room and trotted in there, skull in tow. Cozy’s reaction to it was... interesting. The filly remained guarded. Startlingly guarded.
Starlight Glimmer couldn’t bring herself to... touch the skull. The jarring feeling of the bone connecting with her hoof was just too creepy for words. Her magic was fine, but that was out of the question around Cozy Glow. So instead Starlight felt just incredibly lame, as she had to carry the skull on a rolling cart. Cozy didn’t seem to mind though. Cozy didn’t hesitate at all, in fact.
Starlight couldn’t even touch the skull, but Cozy Glow took it off the cart easily in her forelegs, holding it close to her, and looking down at it wordlessly. Starlight waited for Cozy to get defensive by trying to insult her, or blow up at her, or start crying and blow up at her.
Cozy Glow just looked at it.
“Are you going to be okay?” Starlight asked with worry at the quiet filly.
Cozy didn’t answer the question, but instead without looking up, asked, “Why are you letting me have this? Don’t ponies want to investigate it?”
“We’ve already investigated it as much as we could,” Starlight said, with a helpless shrug, “We couldn’t find out anything you probably don’t already know.”
A pause, and the filly asked, “Are you going to ask me who it is?”
“Do you want to tell me who it is?” Starlight replied.
“...no,” Cozy admitted, clutching it closer.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t ready to talk about, Cozy,” Starlight said, “You can keep it. Whoever it was, it looks like they were pretty important to you.”
Cozy looked up at Starlight, then down at it again, then up at Starlight again, and the filly looked so lost and frightened when she murmured, “Thank you.” Then Cozy put the skull on her back, and retreated not to her bookcase, but her bed. She climbed up on the bed, and curled around the skull, facing away from Starlight Glimmer.
“I’ll call you when it’s time for dinner,” Starlight said, getting no response from the filly.
Starlight Glimmer’s ears went down when she left the room, leaving Cozy shut inside.
“It was incredible!” Starlight Glimmer said later to Twilight Sparkle in utmost excitement, “She actually thanked me! She’s never done that before!”
“I’m sure she’s thanked you before,” Twilight said to her friend over tea, “She sure thanked me enough, before everything went south with her.”
“I think this was the first time she’s ever actually meant it, though,” Starlight said hopefully, “That skull is important to her!”
“How do you know she meant it?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“Cozy Glow is incredibly reluctant to open up,” Starlight attested, “I’ve never seen her look so frightened when she thanked me! Isn’t this wonderful?”
“Are you sure frightening her is a good idea?” Twilight uneasily countered.
Starlight frowned. “It isn’t a good idea to frighten her, you’re right,” she said seriously, “I just feel like I’m really getting through to her.”
“So whose skull is it?” Twilight asked hopefully.
Starlight sighed.
“She won’t say?” Twilight asked, her ears dipping in disappointment.
“She’s not ready to talk about it yet,” Starlight said reluctantly, “If that skull is important to her, then we might just be asking the filly to talk about somepony close to her, who she lost. I can’t just... expect her to talk to me about that.”
“It is imperative that we find out where Cozy Glow came from though,” Twilight stated in a hoff stomp frustration, “We still don’t know if other ponies are involved with whatever happened to her, and if they’re dying...”
“It might have been a natural death,” Starlight said uneasily, “Maybe the filly lost a friend of hers and that just... drove her over the edge?”
“You remember what Last Stand said,” Twilight offered warningly, “About... scavengers?”
“The investigator also said it was inconclusive,” Starlight said testily, “Without the parts of the skeleton that scavengers actually gnaw on.”
“This whole thing stinks, Starlight,” Twilight griped, “And I don’t like it one bit. I just know it’s going to come back to bite us.”
“We’re good ponies, aren’t we, Twilight?” Starlight asked abruptly.
Twilight furrowed her muzzle.
“If anything’s gonna bite us in the butt, it’ll be making Cozy think we’re using her,” Starlight explained for the princess, “We may be good ponies, but if we don’t act like it, she’ll think that’s who we really are. Would good ponies do something to hurt her, just to accomplish our goals?”
“No...” Twilight said reservedly, toeing at the ground, “No, they would not.”
“We don’t know that anything is wrong,” Starlight insisted hopefully, “All we know is that Cozy has some very... unequestrian notions, which she must have been taught somewhere! We know that she isn’t missing from any known orphanage nor has any family filed a missing ponies report for her. We know that... she likes... a skull. I’m guessing that Cozy hails from a far away land... somehow, but beyond that, I don’t know.”
Sighing and turning away, Starlight added in frustration, “For all I know maybe she was the one who killed the pony whose skull she carries.”
“Cozy Glow might not even be her real name,” Twilight added soberly, “And I could understand her parents... not... wanting to come forward about having raised her, given what she’s done. So there’s no reason to think she isn’t from Equestria. I just can’t imagine that anypony in Equestria would hurt a filly so badly, not without getting held accountable.”
“Well there is also her odd accent,” Starlight said with a half smile, “That’s what’s got me especially puzzled about her.”
“Odd accent?” Twilight asked curiously, “She always sounded like a filly straight out of Canterlot to me. What with how she enunciates her words.”
“She hides it well, but when you catch her off guard, her accent slips,” Starlight said, sipping thoughtfully at her tea, “Saying things like ‘drubbed’ and swearing about a ‘bell’ instead of hay. I still have no idea what the word ‘golly’ is supposed to mean.”
“You got me,” Twilight said with a shrug of her wings, “It’s not any word I’ve read before. It’s probably a combination of two words that she just mashed together.”
“Or that she was taught to mash together!” Starlight contested, “Like a pony from a distant land, perhaps?”
“Perhaps,” Twilight admitted reluctantly.
“Then there’s how when Cozy Glow is really upset,” Starlight pondered, “She never swears to Celestia or Luna, or anything normal. She keeps swearing to somepony called Grogar.”
Twilight’s ears perked. “That name sounds familiar,” she said, “What have you found out about it?”
Blushing, Starlight said sheepishly, “I haven’t exactly done any research on it yet. I’ve just been taking notes on some of her odd use of language. And did you know she has no idea what a deer is?”
“Really?” Twilight said curiously, “Even I’ve seen deer, on occasion.”
“No I mean, Cozy Glow literally didn’t know what they are,” Starlight said, “She just... has some shocking holes in her knowledge. Maybe nopony taught her what a deer was?”
“The Hooved Creatures is basic education,” Twilight said skeptically, “She’d have at least been taught about deer, goats, cows and sheep, if not bison and yaks on top of that.”
“I don’t think she was, somehow,” Starlight said, “And yet she knows words I’ve never even heard of, like drubbed!”
“Drubbed is a colloquial term for struck, in the sense of striking somepony else,” Twilight said helpfully, adding with a wince, “In the sense of beating somepony to the point of humiliation. I’ve never seen it used in conversation, but perhaps certain criminal circles...?”
“It would make sense if Cozy’s parents were career criminals,” Starlight said with a disgusted grimace, “She certainly takes after the family.”
“That might be why she isn’t talking about her past, too!” Twilight said eyes brightening, “Maybe she’s protecting their identities, to keep the heat off them!”
“You know, you might be right!” Starlight said with dawning realization, “I can’t imagine that filly being protective of anypony, but with how she’s been treating that skull...”
“...she really likes it, huh?” Twilight asked uneasily, as Starlight’s excitement fell to silence.
“She’s been taking it to bed with her,” Starlight said softly, “She’s been sleeping with it, like it were some kind of a plush toy.”
“What in Equestria...” Twilight said faintly.
“Exactly,” Starlight replied, “If you can find anything on this Grogar character, please let me know.”
“I’ll do what I can, Starlight,” Twilight said cautiously, “I know I have a very good memory, but I have also read a whole lot of books.”
“At least you’ve heard of it before!” Starlight said, looking away nervously, “Heh heh... it’s pretty amazing I can read at all, really.”
“Everypony receives basic education,” Twilight said with a sympathetic look Starlight’s way.
“I know, I just... hate how easy it is for me to learn, now that I actually started studying,” Starlight said staring morosely down into her tea, “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t drop out of school to...”
“You probably would have been a brilliant and acclaimed scholar,” Twilight declared dismissively, “Whom I had heard of and deeply respected, and we would never meet each other in our entire lives.” With a small smile, the princess added, “But, well... I like what turned out better, even if you have an... unconventional approach to your life.”
“I guess it wouldn’t be me if I weren’t doing something crazy and over the top,” Starlight said with a shaky smile, “I just hope that this one won’t backfire on me too.”
“Your asylum has one important difference from your other ventures,” Twilight offered, to Starlight’s ear-perked interest, “You may have a penchant for... crazy and over the top, but you also have a real talent for reaching ponies that have been rejected by others. You don’t judge, you don’t assume, when the rest of us can’t do anything but judge and assume. You can... empathize with these troubled ponies, in a way that would probably make me go all Twilynanas if I tried even five minutes of it.”
“Twilynanas?” Starlight asked skeptically.
“It’s a long story,” Twilight grumbled, “What I’m saying is you get along with bad ponies, Starlight Glimmer. I know that might not sound very flattering, but I really think you can help some of them, where the rest of Equestria has failed.”
“I hope so, Twilight,” Starlight said, finishing off her tea, “So, back to work then?”
Twilight nodded a little distantly.
“Is everything okay?” Starlight asked with concern.
“Everything’s fine,” Twilight said gently, levitating her cup and saucer back to the table, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind these days. Next week, Wednesday at two?”
“Sounds good to me!” Starlight replied with a smile, “I’ll see you then.”
Cozy Glow was feeling pretty good. She had the counselor so wrapped around her little hoof that Starlight had even given her the skull back. Cozy wished she had asked for the other stuff, to make it look like she didn’t want the skull in particular, but really, she was just glad to have it with her again. Well... safely in her room, at least.
Cozy didn’t appreciate being locked in her room so much, but she was pretty sure her skull wouldn’t mind it one bit. She placed it carefully on an empty spot in the bookshelf every time she left her room, and every time she came back, it was there waiting for her. It just made her feel all warm inside with confidence and satisfaction, when Cozy Glow knew where it was, somewhere locked up so tight that it’d surely be there when she returned,.
So that’s why Cozy Glow did not glare at Morning Glory today, only looked up at her curiously. Normally the plain brown mare would retreat wincingly from Cozy Glow’s glare, but finally she had an opportunity to do otherwise, so she worked up her courage to talk to the filly.
“Sorry...” the mare said testily, walking up to Cozy Glow in the cafeteria, “They’re saying I shouldn’t apologize to you but I really didn’t mean to... you didn’t know what was going on with me. So sorry for yelling at you. I know you’re... they said you weren’t good to yell at.”
“It’s okay, Miss Glory,” Cozy said sympathetically, “I understand. But what could be going on with you? If you feel like you can tell me, that is.”
“It’s not a secret, not anymore,” the mare said in a disaffected huff, not sitting with Cozy, but not leaving either, “They say I don’t need to keep it a secret anymore. No point. Everypony on the street saw what I... was.”
“...did you rob ponies?” Cozy asked uncertainly.
“No, I was a... I mean I wasn’t really,” the mare stammered, “I just thought I couldn’t—I couldn’t think of anything else to do.” Looking at Cozy sorrowfully, the mare said, “You’ve never been hungry and... sleeping on the streets before.”
“Obviously, because I can sleep in the clouds,” Cozy said a little irritably, flapping her mostly fixed wings to demonstrate. “Why would I sleep on the streets?”
“Yeah well...” the mare sat beside Cozy, scrunching in frustration, before saying, “You have wings. You can fly. I can’t do... anything. So I had to sleep on the streets in a stupid... box.”
“Oh, you meant you,” Cozy realized, looking thoughtfully at the brown earth pony, “So you slept in a box?”
“It was raining, and I didn’t know what else to do,” the mare claimed wearily, “And that’s what’s going on with me. Because I was living in a box and started selling myself b-because there wasn’t anything else I could do.”
“I’m pretty sure Equestria doesn’t have slavery,” Cozy said skeptically, “You can’t just sell yourself.”
“No, I mean...” the mare blushed, looking at the filly uncomfortably before looking away again.
“I-it’s an adult thing,” Morning Glory said finally, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Eyes widening in surprise, Cozy exclaimed at her, “They have whores in Equestria?”
“Sssshh!” the mare frantically shushed her, and Cozy knew not to shout! She just... forgot for a second.
“Don’t talk about...” the mare gave a conflicted grimace, then turned away again, saying anxiously, “Everypony on the street saw me though. I was just desperate, and going into season, a-and it’s at least one good thing about me, right?”
“Oh, I get it,” Cozy said looking up to the nervous mare, “You’re embarassed! Oh that must be so awful.”
“Embarassed?” Morning Glory asked Cozy, giving her a look of incredulity.
“Golly yes,” Cozy said with a reassuring pat to the mare’s side, though wondering internally about the mare’s odd reaction, “It can be real embarassing, when you have to do that in front of other ponies.”
“It wasn’t just embarassing!” the mare protested, “I—I used my body!”
“So?” Cozy asked, leaning back in genuine confusion, “Don’t you have to do that to be a whore?”
“You don’t understand, filly,” Morning Glory hissed at her anxiously, “I had stallions inside me!”
“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” Cozy said crankily, “That’s what whores do! I mean unless you give him a hoof job?”
“T-those were cheaper,” Morning Glory said with a blush, “You realize that stallions want to... want to ravish your body, right, filly?”
Cozy stared forward thoughtfully. “I haven’t been in heat yet,” she said distantly, “I suppose that’s going to be starting soon. Don’t know if it’ll go so well for me.”
“How old are you?” Morning asked curiously.
“I turned 14 last month,” Cozy replied with a dismissive wing flip, “But enough about little old me. Why do you think you have to be embarassed, just because you used your body?”
“I...” Morning sighed in frustration, “Let’s call it embarassment then,” she grumpily conceded.
“How about you look on the bright side!” Cozy said with a friendly smile, “You made a lot of money, plus having a stallion ravish your body is really fun, right?”
“No!” Morning Glory declared in horror, then blushing, looked away, saying “Y-yes! No it... it was really scary, actually.”
“Scary?” Cozy Glow asked, her smile falling to uncertainly.
“He just... I didn’t know what it would feel like,” Morning said anxiously, “I didn’t think it was happening I thought I could escape, and then... I felt him. Then he was holding me, and I could feel him, and I couldn’t stop doing it, and...”
“You mean a stallion raped you?” Cozy said with a sympathetic wince.
“N-no, I let him do it,” Morning Glory said, staring downward, “He p-paid for it after all. And I didn’t have any other choice. I had to get out of that box. It just started happening to me, a-and I was wondering if he was going to make me pregnant.”
“Did he make you pregnant?” Cozy asked in shock.
“Yep, he just... pushed right in there and bam, started making me pregnant,” Morning Glory said with a shaky smile, “I just stood there, feeling it happen, and... panicking, and I was thirteen, but you’re not that much older, so please... don’t let that happen to you.”
Morning Glory had tears in her eyes now, and Cozy had no idea how to deal with this. “My mom made me inside her, no problem!” Cozy protested in confusion, “She could give birth to anypony without breaking a sweat! And you’re saying it’s bad what happened to my mom?”
“No, it’s bad if it happens to you,” Morning Glory insisted, “Because you’re just a filly. You don’t want to be getting pregnant, and... lowering your prices because you’re trying to get ready for the foal and you can’t even afford anything. Just sitting there, unable to stop getting more pregnant, a-and doing crazy things with stallions, because you’re already pregnant, so you don’t even care about debasing yourself, and...”
“My base is fine,” Cozy retorted, “You’re the one who’s debasing herself!”
Morning Glory squeaked to silence.
“You do have serious problems,” Cozy said in frustration, “If you think you’re debasing yourself just for having a foal. What’s so bad about whores anyway? You’re making stallions feel good, and sometimes mares, and just because I never mated doesn’t mean I can’t tell that it’s fun. And that’s what you’re upset about? Where is your foal, anyway?”
“I-it... I–I lost the... i-it just started cramping up one day and...” Morning said helplessly, tearing up.
“Well gee whiz, Miss Glory,” Cozy clarified sarcastically for her as Morning Glory forgot her tears in disbelief at the filly, “It sounds like you didn’t even have a foal at all. And you got... wait, you seriously got pregnant the very first time you did it?”
“Y-yes, I was in season so...?” Morning Glory said uncertainly, “That’s kind of how it works, you know.”
“Mares usually have to do it a whole bunch to get pregnant,” Cozy chided her, “Some can’t even manage it, all season. You probably got pregnant while you were doing all those stallions, thinking you were pregnant. And that’s great! That’s just how your body works, and it’s how my body works someday, so I’d really appreciate it if you would stop saying it’s a big scary disaster!”
“But it is!” Morning Glory insisted, “It’s shameful—”
“No it’s not,” Cozy declared disgustedly, “You’re just being a big baby about it. You’re here now, and you’re fine. All you had to do was a bunch of stallions, and you’re acting like you did a bad job!”
“I-it’s not okay what I did—” the mare started to say, but Cozy insisted unsympathetically,
“It is okay, you are okay, and you did a good job.” As Morning Glory fishmouthed at her, Cozy Glow counted out frankly, “You made stallions feel good, you made a lot of money...”
“N-not a lot,” Morning said bashfully.
“And maybe you got pregnant but that’s why you have a place for foals to go,” Cozy insisted, “So it’s not terrible. Just... apologize to me and leave me alone. I don’t care if I get pregnant some day, and I don’t care if I start doing stallions. There’s nothing wrong with what you did, and you’re getting all upset over nothing.”
With that Cozy turned to her lunch, determined to ignore the mare until she had finish—
“E-even if I raised my tail for a stallion and—!” Morning Glory said in a furious whisper right beside Cozy.
“Yes, even if you did all that weird stuff,” Cozy said with a roll of her eyes, then went to eating her food and—
“Even if I was begging for it and I wanted to—!” Morning Glory stopped short of becoming shrill, looking around the cafeteria in fear.
Thankfully, nopony had noticed things getting heated between them.
“I cried so hard when I lost my foal,” Morning Glory said softly, “I felt like such a failure.”
“Well, you were,” Cozy told her grumpily, eyeing her plate of food hungrily, “But if you want a foal so badly, why don’t you just try again?”
“I—!” Blushing hotly, Morning Glory said in a measured tone, “I... do not want a foal.”
“Golly, then I guess you didn’t fail at all!” Cozy said in false cheer, “Seriously, why are you so upset about being a whore, and then having whore things happen to you?”
“Whores are evil!” Morning Glory protested desperately.
A surprised laugh burst out of Cozy Glow.
Morning Glory wasn’t laughing.
“You haven’t even seen evil, if you think that’s evil,” Cozy said in a pitying tone, turning to look at the older mare, “Whores are just...” she waved a hoof, trying to think how a stallion would see it, “...fun and a little dangerous. So thank you for apologizing, but you can’t apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong, Miss Morning Glory, not even when those stallions were making you pregnant. Now can I eat my lunch already?”
“O-of course,” Morning Glory replied in shock, “You don’t even mind that I...”
“Anypony who does is stupid,” Cozy Glow told her flatly, “Unfortunately most ponies are stupid, but that doesn’t mean they’re right.”
“I don’t believe you,” the brown earth pony mare said, tensely.
“You don’t have to believe me, if you know it’s true yourself,” Cozy replied smugly. She turned to eat then, hoping Morning Glory would take the hint and scram.
And the mare finally did, but not before standing there an uncomfortable amount of time, until Cozy Glow heard her soft words, “Thank you.”
“For what?” Cozy asked, looking up from her food, but Morning Glory was already trotting halfway across the cafeteria.
“Whatever,” Cozy grumbled, going back to her hay with the relish of somepony who did not give a flying feather about pregnant whores. She filed that one away for later though.
“I wish you were here,” Cozy said wistfully to the skull cradled in her hooves. Lying on her back, on her bed, Cozy wasn’t sleepy yet, and with the lights out there was nothing else to do, so she just lay here talking to it. Because she really didn’t have anyone else to talk to.
A barely perceptible laugh, and Cozy said, “You should have seen it. Ponies in Equestria are crazy. There’s a mare here, who’s... here! Just because she got embarassed! I don’t get it at all. Embarassment means you’re as crazy as that... pony who thinks she’s a dog? You’d probably know what was going on here. I just don’t know at all.”
Nuzzling the skull, she said, “At least they gave you back. It was so easy. All I had to do was ask, and Starlight just gave you to me. I don’t know why she keeps acting like she cares about me, but she did and that made her give you to me. She thinks I can get better because she was just as bad as me, but...”
Sighing, Cozy lay her cheek against the pillow, saying dully, “I can’t get better like she did though, no matter how nice she is to me. I almost had it. I almost had everypony in this world in the palm of my wing, and then bam. Rainbows. If the tree hadn’t interfered, I could have showed all those stupid unicorns and their stupid magic, and Starlight’s right; that’s not all it would have done. Why didn’t I even think?”
Cozy’s skull had no answers for her.
“I guess I’m a killer now too,” Cozy said unenthusiastically, lifting her head to look at it again, “It wasn’t the same though.” Shuddering, she hugged it closer saying, “I wish I could have killed them myself. Broke their heads open, or crushed their spines, or stabbed them in the heart, until they bled out all their blood. You would have liked that. But instead all I get to do is sit here not even knowing that they were dying. It’s all my fault and I didn’t even get to see it happen. I didn’t even get to see them die.
“I thought I had the solution to all my problems, and it just went all wrong,” Cozy whimpered petulantly in the darkness, “Everypony hates me now, I don’t have any power, and nopony in all of Equestria believes I am cute and loveable anymore. They aren’t forgetting. They’re still attacking me. It’s only a matter of time now until somepony comes to take their revenge, and not even Starlight Glimmer will be able to save me.”
Elsewhere, Cozy Glow’s tinny voice came over the speaker, saying fussily, “Oh momma, what do we do now?” before lapsing into unsatisfied silence.
Starlight Glimmer stood in a dimly lit room. The slender, lavender unicorn stood in the dim light, before a tall array of monitors, all filled with mysterious shadows. The lower left monitor showed a shadowy silouette of a little filly laying on her bed, talking to a skull, and the audio crystal in the corner was blinking red.
Starlight stood, frozen, staring in silence at the monitor, until the filly’s chest moved evenly up and down, and only her soft snores broadcast over the microphone. “That c-can’t be her... nopony’s life is that bad,” Starlight said uselessly. Nopony could hear what she said, because she wasn’t a patient being monitored at a mental hospital. “Oh dear sweet Luna,” Starlight murmured, sinking to her haunches, struggling to even comprehend what that would do to somepony.
Cozy gave no further truths or half-truths, continuing to sleep away the night, until Starlight finally realized she was falling asleep too, albeit on her hooves. Starlight Glimmer snorted awake, then blushed, and unlocked her forelegs from bracing on them. She shut off all the monitors with the press of a button, hoping she could get somepony to work night shift on this soon. Starlight Glimmer wasn’t sure she ever wanted to turn them on again, herself. Then, she turned and trotted away from the towering monitor array.
The door in the hall labeled “SECURITY” quietly opened and closed, then the soft clopping of a mare could be heard moving through the lower levels, until Starlight was outside, out of the building, looking up at the moon shining down on her from overhead. “Am I doing the right thing, Princess Luna?” Starlight asked, gazing up at its shining surface silently.
The lavender unicorn watched for a while, then shrugged, trotting on her way, muttering in amusement to herself, “I really should ask her that in person, actually.”
“Cozy Glow does not have nightmares,” Princess Luna replied evenly.
“What?!” Starlight Glimmer said in stark disbelief, “But she’s severely traumatized!”
“Do not take that as an indication she is not,” the princess said cooly, “Ponies will suppress their fears even in dreams, when they are not ready to face them. Imagine if you will, that you could dictate the filly’s dreams, and you gave her a dream of exactly what plagues her. How do you think she would respond?”
“She would freak out!” Starlight easily replied.
“And she would wake up,” Luna concluded, “Nightmares have limits, Starlight Glimmer. It is a grave danger indeed when they surpass those bounds. I think the filly may have nightmares in her future, if what you say is true, but I fear it will be a sign of her healing, not of her distress.”
“Can you at least tell me what she dreams about?” Starlight Glimmer asked desperately.
Princess Luna looked thoughtfully at the pony, the only pony standing there in her court. The elegant throne the princess rested on was in a relatively small room. The princess never needed a large one, and really she was grateful she needed one at all. Dark lavender curtains outlined the windows into an expansive sky full of stars. Luna needed not natural lighting, for all was revealed in shadow.
“I will tell you what she dreams of,” she told Starlight Glimmer tactfully, “Once you tell me what your friend Sunburst thinks, when you tell him about the one where you were suspended from a kite as a filly in your first estrous while he—”
“Okay, point taken!” Starlight said, frantically waving all those terribly unmentionable images out of the imagination of her, or anypony else who might have heard them speaking. Not that anypony else could possibly have listened to their conversation, for Luna’s court was impregnable.
As the lavender unicorn backed up with ears low in apology, Luna’s passive look softened. She told Starlight Glimmer seriously, “All I will say is that Cozy Glow once dreamed of conquest. Now, she dreams of you.”
“Me?” Starlight asked, ears going up in confusion.
“Take from that what you will,” the princess replied, “But I do think you are reaching that filly on some level.”
“I hope so...” Starlight said uncertainly.
“I must take my leave soon, my little pony,” Princess Luna said, “The night is still young, and there are nightmares yet to be defeated.”
“Thank you for seeing me, princess,” Starlight said gratefully, “I didn’t know you saw ponies on request.”
“Ponies should know our court is open all the night,” Luna replied unsympathetically, “Would that I knew how to bring it up to them.”
“Well, either way I’m grateful” Starlight said with a smile, “And thanks for saving me from the giant pony eating skull.”
“It was no matter, Starlight Glimmer,” Princess Luna said, spreading her wings and lighting up her horn, “Now, I believe you were busy doing something?”
“I was?” Starlight asked curiously, unable to think of anything she had been doing, other than that kite Starlight was strapped to, the wind whistling around her ears as the filly was held tight up in the air. This time Sunburst didn’t see her though, because this time Starlight had been trained by the ninja ponies of the Far East, so she got to watch... everything.
With the birds tweeting and the warm sun beaming in through the window into her room, Starlight Glimmer awoke feeling well rested, but... she lifted her blanket and looked at herself under it, groaning, “Maybe next time I’ll just write her a letter.”
Spitting out a sliced off pink feather, Cozy Glow exhaled in relief saying, “Oh, finally.” Her feathers were finally molting. She was preening her wings one day, and a pinion just painlessly came off right in her teeth. Her coverts had been shedding for days, making her whole wing itch until she nibbled or flapped them out. Her secondaries too, one after the other, relatively well formed but smaller feathers. But now finally she’d lost a primary.
It took about two weeks for a pegasus to molt, at least that’s how long it took Cozy. It happened twice a year or so. She was always losing feathers on occasion, but it just sped up briefly during that time, to freshen everything up, and take care of her pinions. Her new secondaries were already starting to fan out from their pin feathers. The pinions that Cozy had... removed by force were also fanning out, which was a huge relief since she was insanely protective of her primary pins.
Not that she was insane, even though they had her trapped in an insane asylum. Cozy just didn’t want them to cut her feathers in half again, and the thought of cutting them before the pins had fanned out just made her twist up inside in utter squick. Because you could actually feel your pins, as in they hurt to poke them, or nibble on them, so cutting them... what would that even do? Cozy Glow didn’t want to know. She just wanted to fly again.
The past months had been utter torment, hurting her hooves just walking around everywhere, trapped by walls with no roof, when it was so obvious where she should fly. But she couldn’t, because they wouldn’t trust her. And the only reason they wouldn’t trust her is that Cozy Glow had to pretend, in order to be who she really was. Cozy’s missing primary was a source of relief, but also worry. Because if she grew back her primaries... were they going to cut her wings in half again?
So she was unusually reserved and shy, when the yellow furred Nurse Coldheart came to take her to the shower today. Cozy was afraid if she messed up, she’d lose her wings again, so it was too scary to say anything bad. “Can I please shower by myself?” she asked the nurse pony plaintively, “I do so want to be trusted around here. Maybe if you see I can behave when I shower myself, we can build some trust together?”
“Makes sense to me,” the nurse said easily, “You break anything though, and I’ll have to go right back to watching you like a hawk.”
“Oh golly, thank you so much! I won’t break anything of course,” Cozy said, gloating to herself how easy this was. It was just like that card house that Starlight made. “I promise that the showers will be A-OK.”
With hot water streaming down the fur on her sides, dripping off from her belly, Cozy Glow thought about what she was going to do. Now, Starlight was a bit of a wild card, but she seemed to genuinely want to trust Cozy, so that could be useful. Cozy needed to get to the point of having basic freedom to do what she wanted without being watched. Then she could resume her search for ways to bend Equestria to her will.
Cozy Glow turned off the water, to rub some conditioner into her hair. It was hard to maintain her tail all wavey like this, harder than when she just rolled it up and tied it off, but she had to admit it looked... nice. Plus Cozy wasn’t about to disappoint Rarity, the next time she came to visit. Cozy Glow didn’t want Rarity to think she was returning to her old ways. As if Cozy ever left her old ways, because she was right all along. None of these ponies knew what was good for them, and she had to get them ready if she ever wanted to destroy that old—
“Are you done in there?” the nurse called out suspiciously.
“Just rinsing off!” Cozy called back, then turned on the hot water again. She would have to make her plans at a time when ponies weren’t doing their trust building exercises, letting her in the shower on her own. It wouldn’t do to have them thinking Cozy was trying to escape in the shower, unless she actually figured out a way to do so.
By the time Cozy shut off the shower and went about drying off, her blue mane was plastered to her skull and her tail was dripping with warm, clean water. She was going to have to include hot showers in her plans: it felt so good to have water like that. First wringing out her mane and tail, to get most of the water down the drain, Cozy stood up, shaking off as water droplets scattered around the shower room. She whipped her tail, still heavy from water, then checked her feathers. It looked like some of the soap had gotten into them, so she’d have to take care of that.
But first she walked out of the shower, where the nurse pony was waiting for Cozy by the sinks. “Would you like to check?” Cozy asked graciously, “The showers are all working perfectly fine.”
“No thanks,” the nurse said casually, “You need any help drying off?”
“I’ll be fine,” Cozy said a little self-consciously. She was tired of being treated like a baby, just because she wasn’t all grown up yet. And crazy. “See? These make it easy,” Cozy added, pushing the button to activate the wall dryer. It wasn’t a big one, but it didn’t take a lot, and if Cozy twisted her tail hairs, she could squeeze the last of the dripping water from it, while the hot air dryer loosened everything up and made Cozy’s fur get all fuzzy.
Cozy’s wings still weren’t working, but it wouldn’t be long. The ponies graciously provided wing oil next to the soap dispenser, so Cozy didn’t have to sit there for half an hour waiting for her glands to produce enough. She nosed the smooth oil into her wings until they were sleek and gleaming, then used her wings to rub any excess oil into the itchy patches of her fur.
Cozy Glow looked in the mirror, seeing her old self again, sort of. Her fur was clean, pink and fuzzy. Her hair in stripes of blue. She was healthy and full, eating better than she perhaps ever had. Cozy looked into her own eyes, a dingy orange pink so close to the color of her fur. She blinked them to check her eyelashes, though she had never done anything particularly special with those. Cozy didn’t think it would have a huge effect on her appeal anyway.
Her mane was already starting to curl, so Cozy Glow ruffled it up with a hoof, focusing on relaxing it as she tugged its tangles out with the hair brush. It was weird how much effort Rarity had gone through over the past few months just to show Cozy how to curl her hair sideways like this. Cozy Glow felt like Rarity disliked her, and Rarity had every reason to, yet she... insisted on helping her. Cozy didn’t understand why, but she did respect Rarity’s judgement on manestyles. It did feel kind of natural to Cozy the way her hair could curve in sort of S shape before curling up and around. Curling her hair all the way didn’t really... need to happen anymore.
Cozy Glow was just glad that she’d finally found a better way to deal with her stupid curly hair, instead of back when curlilocks were the only way she knew. It was nice to look different. She could look at herself in the mirror this way, without remembering all those other ponies, and... things that her old hair reminded her of.
Cozy felt good as she headed for her room, and the nurse smiled at her, which made Cozy feel as fuzzy inside as her fur. She almost didn’t mind being shut in, trotting in there and jumping up on her bed, where she had a book open that Starlight had brought for her, the fool. When Cozy picked it out from a list, she was just joking. She never thought Starlight would actually lend her a step by step guide to making friends and influencing ponies.
The eponymous book might hold the secrets to Cozy Glow’s downfall, and help her avoid repeating her mistakes. It was even written by one of the most powerful ponies in Equestrian history, so Cozy’s total domination of all the land was at her hooftips, as she read. It even started out with a fight! Like actual ponies dying! She’d never read anything like that in the School of Friendship before.
Cozy Glow just had to figure out how to convince other ponies that they weren’t allowed to criticize her, even if she was only pretending to be a good pony, and then she would be able to influence ponies even more than she was already, until none were able to stop her! It was troubling though, because the book seemed to be trying to convince her to fall for that trick, as if doing that would guarantee the success of anypony other than liars and cheats.
But Cozy was pretty sure the next chapter would clear all that up.
Two very dense chapters later, and the book struck the door to Cozy’s cell, flopping down on the floor as Cozy groaned in exasperation from where she lay.
Certain infuriatingly poorly titled books aside, Cozy Glow was progressing quite well toward her long term plan of making it seem like she was cured. She didn’t even blow up at Sea Swirl anymore for being an arrogant self-absorbed nitwit. The mare couldn’t help it, really. Cozy had managed to turn her around to the point that Sea Swirl was desperate to prove herself to the young filly, which at least made for some entertainment. Cozy Glow didn’t really see much use in it though, since she could’ve gotten just about anypony to do what she wanted them to do, on a short term basis, so what was different about this one? As funny and engaging as the older mare could be, Cozy couldn’t think of a reason she might need Sea Swirl in the future.
Most of the other patients were like that. That crazy pink and purple mare was freaking out about the applesauce invaders the other day, and Cozy could have easily gotten her to do what she wanted, simply by threatening her with her applesauce cup, but... what would be the point? The mare was funny and over the top, and... somehow more genuine than normal ponies. Crazy ponies couldn’t act sane, Cozy realized, so they always had to act like they really are. But what could you do with that?
Cozy Glow was feeling more confident at least, thanks in part to the skull she returned to find once again, there in her bookcase where she’d left it. She hadn’t blown up at anypony in a long time, and she was even starting to get her game back, pretending to feel things for the counselor, Starlight Glimmer.
So Cozy Glow was quite dismayed at dinner one day, because a new patient came in, a stallion with bright pink hair. He pranced about like Pinkie Pie curious about everypony, while nurses Coldheart and Sweetheart watched them all carefully from where they stood by the door, and finally the stallion lit upon Cozy Glow. Sliding his tray up next to hers, he plopped his big butt on the bench to the left of her, going straight for the potato chips.
Cozy scooted away just a bit, but it occurred to her that she’d never been this close to a stallion before. The other stallion living here was named “Made” something, but he scared Cozy Glow. He’d look at you with these narrow pupils, and say things that made you feel like something was terribly wrong, and he just gave Cozy and everypony else the creeps. Before that? It just wasn’t her place to be close to them, especially considering what stallions were usually thinking about doing back then.
This guy was a lot friendlier looking than the other stallions, though Cozy was still trying to get used to being the one looking, instead of the one looked at. She’d figure it out pretty soon, but for now, she saw a creamy furred earth pony stallion with shockingly pink hair up in a fabulous mohawk, to match the color of his eyes. A fellow pink-eyed pony, his cutie mark was a trophy, which was... sort of like a chess piece? Closer than a pen and pencil, at least. Perhaps he got it in conquering something? It had a terrible scar cut into it though, which matched with the long scar along his side.
He noticed Cozy looking at the scar, and Cozy looked away as he did, but she knew he saw her, and she couldn’t stop a stupid blush from coming to her face. The stallion looked intrigued, as he asked the filly in a warm tenor,
“Do you have a skull?”
Cozy Glow’s fur stood on end. She looked at the stallion in a new light, saying, “What do you mean? Who told you I have a skull?”
“The doctor!” he replied in baffled confusion, “Can you believe it?”
“Why did they tell you?” Cozy said, turning to him in alarm, “That was supposed to be private!”
“Don’t worry, nopony can see it!” he replied confidently, “Nopony even knows it’s there! But how do you know it’s there?”
“I can... see it?” Cozy said uneasily.
“You can?” he said in hopeful excitement, “How? I can never see my skull, no matter how hard I look with my eyes!”
Giving him a look of disbelief, Cozy asked, “You don’t have a skull too, do you?”
“I don’t know!” he said in genuine fear, “I don’t know! How am I gonna hold my eyes in?!”
“Your—eyes?!” Cozy said, leaning back from the stallion anxiously, trying not to notice the pink nurse Sweetheart looking their way.
“Without my skull, my eyes are going to fall out!” he declared in horror, “Oh, what am I gonna do?! Where are my eyeballs??”
“You—” Cozy’s face flushed red as she said, “You meant your own skull inside your own head?! Are you seriously that stupid??”
“I don’t have a skull though!” he protested frantically, “You said so! You looked at my skull and you said I didn’t have one. You need to help me find my eyeballs!”
“You have a skull, you idiot!” Cozy shouted, “I don’t have a skull! I—I mean I do have a skull, just like everypony does in their own head!”
“How do you know though??” he asked in terror.
“Why are you asking me about skulls?!” Cozy retorted, “Are you trying to make me sound crazy? You’re trying to make me as crazy as you are with your stupid eyeballs and pretending you don’t even know about your own—” the nurse grabbed her then, picking her up right from the bench as Cozy screamed, “Let me go! I’m not crazy!! He’s the crazy one! He’s the psycho killer, I bet, who killed all the foals and doesn’t even care that they—”
After Cozy Glow was carried outside the cafeteria into the hallway while she howled accusations, Nurse Sweetheart—of course it would be the evil nurse—got right in Cozy’s face and the pink pony growled, “You. Need. To. Calm. Down.”
“I am calm!” Cozy protested shrilly, pushing away from her, “He’s the—!”
“No,” the nurse interrupted, “You need to take deep breaths and—”
“I won’t!” Cozy squealed in rage, “I won’t! There is nothing wrong with me!”
“I don’t care if there’s anything wrong with you,” Nurse Sweetheart shouted at the filly, glaring at her with a fury that made Cozy’s brain stagger to a halt. “Take a deep breath,” the nurse ordered, “Do it!”
Cozy tried but she couldn’t take a deep breath because her chest was shaking too much. W-w-w-why was the nurse acting like—?
“Again!” Sweetheart demanded. Cozy tried again, and they repeated this until Cozy Glow was sucking in shaky breaths saying,
“I–I–I don’t know what happened! What was... why are you...?”
“Keep going, filly,” the big, pink mare said sounding worn out in a very familiar way, “You’re doing great.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” Cozy said in trembling fear that threatened to turn to the unthinkable, “What are you doing to me? I–I can’t—!”
The nurse didn’t seem to like how Cozy started repeatedly hitting her own head against the wall to keep from crying, so the nurse grabbed her again. Something impaled Cozy in the butt like a needle—oh it was literally a needle, so Cozy screamed imperiously “Take me to my room I need to go to my room!!”
The nurse scruffed her so Cozy couldn’t escape, then carried her weakly protesting form down the hall. The nurse took her straight to her room, then tossed her inside. Then as Cozy struggled up with her rear end stinging, the nurse was pushing one of the generic teddy bears Starlight used in the stupid therapy stuff, shoving it ungently through the slot in Cozy’s door.
“Take it out on that,” the nurse said coldly as the bear popped out and tumbled to the floor before Cozy Glow. Cozy couldn’t believe the nurse said it, but Cozy wasn’t going to say no. She leaped upon the bear, crushing it to the ground, biting it, ripping its head off in her teeth, and as she did, that leaden weakness continued creeping from her butt, sinking into her whole body, until Cozy couldn’t even lift a hoof to kick more stuffing around her room. She barely had enough energy to look up at the nurse, looking at her through the window, and say in shock, “Thank... you,” before Cozy was out like a light.
It didn’t feel like Cozy had fallen asleep. But there she was, waking up all tucked into her bed, with a sore butt. Again. The torn stuffing had been mostly cleaned up, and the nurse was gone, leaving Cozy Glow in the quiet of her room, alone. Sitting up, the filly stared at her dainty forehooves, murmuring, “What is happening to me? Why couldn’t I stop getting angry? I was doing so well, and it just—!”
When Cozy Glow laid her hooves down, her right foreleg came down on smooth, hard bone: it was her skull. Her other skull. The skull that Cozy Glow always made carefully sure to place on her bookcase after waking up, it was laying next to her in bed, pressed up into her soft pink fur. Cozy Glow couldn’t have gotten it herself. Did the nurse actually get it? Like actually picking it up and carrying it over to her, while Cozy was unconscious? Cozy Glow knew Nurse Sweetheart didn’t have any magic.
“I thought she was just a bully,” Cozy said, pulling the skull into her embrace, “I didn’t think she would... she really picked you up? Nopony does that! They’re all afraid of you, or grossed out.”
Looking at the silent door, Cozy Glow wondered who Nurse Sweetheart really was, since she obviously wasn’t the pony Cozy thought her to be.
“I’m nothing but a bully!” Nurse Sweetheart wailed in anguish.
“You can’t tender your resignation over this,” Starlight Glimmer said tiredly, “I can’t stop you from leaving, but this is just stupid.”
“It’s not stupid if I can’t stop bullying my patients!” the nurse retorted, “I lost my temper and—and they’re not safe around me! What if I hurt somepony again?”
“That was my fault for forcing it, when I didn’t know how badly traumatized Cozy Glow was around leashes,” Starlight said flatly, “You didn’t hurt anypony today, and you stopped a disaster in the making.”
“Why did she thank me?” the nurse moaned miserably, “She’s nothing but a sweet angel of a filly and I just grabbed her and j-j-jammed it in—”
“She’s an absolute demon, and you removed her from a potentially traumatizing situation, stopped her from traumatizing anypony else, including our newest patient, who I think Cozy Glow might be friends with if she gets to know him,” Starlight said dryly, folding her forehooves before her, “You’re seriously questioning yourself for sedating her, when she was bashing her own head against the wall?”
“B-but she thanked me!” the nurse whimpered, “She just said thank you and fell over like a sack of beans!”
“So even Cozy approves of your actions,” Starlight declared abasively, “You know how hard she tries not to cry, and you helped her with that. She doesn’t just thank anypony, Sweetheart. You did something... very important for her, whatever it was.”
“It was... probably the teddy bear,” the nurse said faintly, “She just tore it in half. I’ve never seen anypony so...”
“Mad?” Starlight suggested.
“Hurt.”