Cozy couldn’t stop feeling. She couldn’t stop feeling.
“I... I hate you Starlight Glimmer, I hate you!” she shouted at the door, “You don’t get to... do this to me. Get out of my head! I hate you!” Cozy’s hooves clacked as they slammed into the door and she immediately collapsed on her belly as pain flared in her right hind leg. Cozy Glow gasped for breath, laying there afraid to move. The horrible pain died down, and eventually she managed to roll onto her back, gingerly clutching her hind leg to herself. “They broke my leg!” Cozy shouted in trembling alarm, “S-somepony help!!”
She squeaked to silence then, panting in pained panic, because now those two were going to come back! But actually, it was that blue furred nurse pony with green hair who rushed back down the hall and up to Cozy’s door. “Now hold still Cozy, don’t move,” she said urgently, “I just need to check you out, to see if anything’s broken.”
“What do you need to check?” Cozy griped anxiously, cradling her hind leg in her forelegs, “I already said it was broken!”
“With all due respect filly,” the nurse said, unlatching Cozy’s door, sliding it open, and walking up to her. “You haven’t been medically trained, have you?”
“I know what a broken leg feels like!” Cozy shot back angrily.
“Oh, you broke your leg before?” the nurse asked idly, totally disregarding Cozy’s personal space, “You seem young to have had an injury like that. Now tell me if this hurts.”
The nurse tapped on Cozy’s heel, earning a wince from the filly as hoof struck bone.
“Yes, that hurts,” Cozy said, resentfully. What was the point of hurting her?
“Now how about this?” the nurse asked, tapping above Cozy’s heel where a startled squeal escaped Cozy Glow as the pain flared up right in the bone where the nurse was poking.
“Well, good news, I think you’ve only sprained it,” the nurse said lightly, as Cozy blurted back at her,
“I felt it! The bone hurt when you hit it!”
“We can get you some x-rays soon,” the nurse assured her, “But it takes a lot to break your tibula, even for a cute little pegasus like you. You injured your tendons, which is why poking there was so painful.”
“W-what bone is the tendons?” Cozy asked cautiously.
Blinking, the nurse held back a snort of a laugh, saying, “No, tendons are the stringy ropelike tissues that connect your muscles to your bones.”
“Oh, so like gristle?” Cozy clarified hopefully.
The nurse looked at her very oddly. Cozy didn’t get it. What was so bad about gristle? “Essentially, yes,” the nurse said, “But what it means is your bones don’t need to heal. Did you recently twist, or wrench your ankle somehow?”
Cozy Glow blinked at her owlishly. She didn’t want to talk about the collar.
“Well anyhoo, I’ll immobilize your leg, and we can get you to the hospital for x-rays,” the blue, green haired nurse said in a practical manner, “It’s actually not far from this place. You won’t have to pass through town.”
Cozy was... begrudgingly grateful for that. Grateful enough to sit on the cart without protest at least, as the nurse silently headed with her in tow down the backroads to Ponyville General. The constant risk of stabbing pain was also motivating Cozy to sit still and behave. But she was... starting to like this nurse. This one, at least.
Starlight Glimmer was waiting outside in the hall, when Nurse Tenderheart returned Cozy to her room, after coming back from the hospital to let the filly rest in her bed. “How is she?” Starlight asked the nurse, not quite meeting her eyes.
“She has a nasty sprain, but her bones aren’t broken, so she should be well in a day or two, if she keeps it immobilized,” the nurse said looking more at Starlight with concern than anypony.
“I can’t tell you how grateful I am,” Starlight said, “I swear as soon as I can find funding, you’ll be working here full time. I didn’t... intend for Cozy’s treatment to actually injure her.”
“You’re not saying you injured her?” the blue and green nurse pony asked, in a voice justifiably concerned.
“No, we... we were restraining her,” Starlight specified, “And she must have gotten her foot caught, when she was... having trouble with what we were doing.”
“What were you doing?” Tenderheart asked tenuously.
“Nothing we’ll be repeating, that’s for sure,” Starlight grumbled, “You shouldn’t get mixed up in all this. Let me make enemies with her. If things go bad, you’re probably the pony she trusts most of all right now. Just give her your support and well... be yourself, and I’ll try not to get her injured like that ever again.”
“I don’t know if this cloak and daggers stuff is a good idea,” Tenderheart remarked uneasily, “What are you going to do when she finds out this was all your idea?”
“It wasn’t all my idea,” Starlight said uncomfortably, “It was Sweetheart’s mistake in the first place, blaming Cozy Glow about Morning Glory. But what was I supposed to do, write Cozy Glow a form letter explaining that the nurse has been given a slap on the wrist for what she’d done?”
“All this plotting against her though,” Tenderheart contested, “How are you going to get her on your side, if you’re plotting against her?”
“I’m not trying to get her on my side,” Starlight replied in exasperation, “I’m trying to show her that I mean business! That filly really is going to get a caretaker attacking her one day, and I wanted her to know that I can and I will step in to put a stop to it. She doesn’t trust me one bit, but...”
Sighing, Starlight Glimmer hung her head before the blue nurse, saying, “What Cozy Glow trusts is power. She won’t trust me. She’ll hate me for scaring her like that. But now she knows what I’ll do to anypony who hurts her, and she can’t deny it. No matter how much she thinks I was... pretending.”
The nurse still didn’t look like she was happy with the situation as Starlight explained, “All that filly does is pretend, so maybe if she knows she’s not alone... I just really need her to open up to me somehow, even if she resents me for it later. We really don’t know anything at all about her. Where did she come from? What happened to her?”
“Have you tried asking her?” Tenderheart suggested.
Starlight lashed her curlish tail, saying, “She won’t say a word about her past. Anyway, I need to find out everything I can without asking her, so that when I do ask her, I don’t... ask the wrong questions and get her to close off to me more than ever.”
The nurse hesitated, looked down, then looked up, then said, “The filly said she broke her leg before.”
“What?” Starlight replied blankly.
“You said you wanted to learn about her, well, she said she broke her leg before,” Tenderheart stated cautiously, “She didn’t seem to know the difference between a break or a sprain, but it takes some training to tell that, so... I think she might have broken her leg before. That’s all I know though, sorry.”
“No, it’s... it’s helpful,” Starlight admitted, “Thank you Nurse Tenderheart. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go down to the cafeteria, to get Cozy some breakfast.”
Cozy came willingly into Starlight Glimmer’s office this time at least. That was a nice change. The filly hobbled over with her immobilized hind leg, only looked balefully at the couch before climbing onto the beanbag. Starlight did find it worked out well to give ponies a choice where to sit, though it sometimes made her wonder. There wasn’t much about Cozy Glow these days that didn’t make Starlight wonder.
“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” she told the filly sheepishly, “None of the other nurses have been giving you problems, have they?”
Cozy gave Starlight an appraising look. Starlight politely, but firmly returned the gift. “No, they have not,” Cozy Glow said at last, “Why, are you having a problem keeping control of your staff?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Starlight said honestly, “I think you can understand why though.”
“Because you’re weak and pathetic?” Cozy Glow said with a roll of her dusky pink eyes, “Why should anypony listen to you, if you won’t even make them listen?”
“I was gonna say it’s because they have problems, too,” Starlight Glimmer replied evenly, “Everypony does, not just the ones with mental illness.”
“Oh Starlight, you don’t have to lie to me,” Cozy said sweetly, “We both know I don’t have any kind of a mental illness, and you’re just keeping me here to fool me into thinking I do.”
“Cozy, you have an explosive temper that makes you do things you obviously regret,” Starlight replied flatly, “You have an emotional meltdown as soon as something happens to make you sad, and you think friendship is about dominance over others, even when you know it’s not. It’s not your fault if you’re suffering from an illness Cozy, but you are not well.”
“I have good reasons for... all those things!” Cozy protested a little less than confidently.
“Reasons which you won’t talk about,” Starlight replied, “Even though I swore what you say will never leave this building.”
“...did you really have to put a cupcake in your—”
“No, that was a mistake,” Starlight interrupted, “But my point still stands. You are not well, and as soon as you admit that, you can start to heal from whatever... hurt you in the past.”
“Nothing hurt me, because there’s nothing wrong,” Cozy insisted irritably, “I shouldn’t even be here.”
“Would you rather be in Tartarus?” Starlight asked dryly.
Cozy Glow just scrunched and looked the other way. After a moment of silence Starlight Glimmer exclaimed in surprise, “You would rather be in Tartarus, wouldn’t you?”
“At least Tartarus doesn’t try to make you sad for no reason, just because it’s good for you!” Cozy retorted, “You keep saying you’re trying to help me, but you just want to make yourself feel good about imprisoning me!”
“To be perfectly honest, yes I feel pretty good about imprisoning you,” Starlight said irritably herself, “Maybe if you stopped hating everypony, and trying to destroy the world, then—”
“I was not trying to destroy the world!” Cozy insisted angrily, “I didn’t know it would destroy the world!”
“And that’s the problem,” Starlight lit upon excitedly, “You never even entertained the possibility that things might not go your way. You had no backup plan, no escape route—”
“I wanted to go to Tartarus!” Cozy snapped at her, “I was going to reform Tirek, and then you were gonna be sorry you ever crossed me, because everypony would love me, and hate you. You stole my friendships, and you just wanna make yourself feel better about being a dirty little thief!”
Starlight just stared at her in amazement.
“Don’t try to deny it!” Cozy shouted.
“I won’t,” Starlight Glimmer said cautiously, “I’m just worried that you can’t think in certain ways. Can you even imagine things going poorly for you, if you tried to... to reform Tirek?”
“They did go poorly for me, because you took him away from me, and then imprisoned me here, telling everypony I was crazy!” Cozy declared in outrage.
“No no, I mean imagine I was never there,” Starlight said, “Nopony interrupted you, you had all the time in the world to reform Tirek. Can you imagine yourself still stuck in that cage, and no matter what you do, Tirek just ignores you? I’m not saying there’s any way your plan could fail, but can you imagine what it would be like if it did?”
“I’d figure something out!” Cozy replied defiantly. “There is no magic more powerful than friendship, so he’d never stand a chance!”
“It’s funny you’d say that,” Starlight grumbled, “Since you were trying to destroy all the magic.”
“Well, not... not friendship, just your stupid unicorn magic, and those princesses who could probably kill me with a thought!” Cozy claimed fussily.
“And the magic of all artifacts, and the magic of all creatures who are not pegasi, and the magic of the soil, and the magic of all potions and poultices, and the magic of—”
“Okay, fine maybe it wasn’t the best plan!” Cozy shouted, “I would have figured something out!”
Looking at her cautiously, Starlight asked, “What do you think would happen in the winter, if the sun never set?”
“It would melt all the snow?” Cozy prompted cautiously.
“Have you ever made a snowpony?” Starlight asked simply.
“No, why?” Cozy warily replied.
“I guess you’d never have the chance to, without magic in Equestria,” Starlight said with a shrug. “Because there’d be no snow ever again. So what else? Unicorns couldn’t use their magic, so nopony could ever teleport again. Have you ever used a teleportation station?”
“No, why would I?” Cozy replied, “I’m not even a unicorn!”
“You had friends who were unicorns though,” Starlight said, “I bet I would’ve been happy to take you to Manehattan or Las Pegasus at some point.”
“Oh, and you wouldn’t want to ask my parents about that?” Cozy asked bitingly.
“Who are your parents, anyway?” Starlight replied, and Cozy stiffened, because she hadn’t meant to say that at all. Of course they would try to find out about her parents. How could they possibly not be suspicious, after they did all the police detectivey stuff they did because they found out about Cozy’s plans?
...Cozy missed her skull.
“It’s no big deal,” Starlight stated with a nervous laugh, waving her hoof, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable with it.”
“Okay, then I won’t,” Cozy said neutrally.
“Seriously, Cozy,” Starlight impressed upon her, “You didn’t think through the destruction of Equestria’s magic, because you have trouble even imagining what would happen if things don’t work out in your favor. That’s what I’m trying to help you with. It’s really, really important for anypony to think about times they’ve failed, and how it was their fault. I’m sorry Cozy, but you... can’t do that, right now.”
“Well what am I supposed to do, then?” Cozy said resentfully, fighting back tears, “You think I’m crazy just because I didn’t think of every single way things could possibly go wrong?”
“How about thinking of only one way things went wrong?” Starlight suggested, “Just one. What’s a time when you really messed up, and things didn’t work out because of you, rather than anypony else?”
“There was—I can—” Cozy huffed, biting out, “I can think of those, lots of those, because there’s nothing wrong with me. I just can’t think of it right on the spot!”
“Well okay, take your time then,” Starlight Glimmer said easily, “I just want to know one thing you’ve done in the past, that you wish you didn’t. Not something other stupid ponies do, but something stupid that you did. It’s okay if you do things that you wished you hadn’t. I just want you to think of one time where you felt that way. Just one time.”
Cozy Glow thought, and... thought. Why was she drawing a blank on this? She messed up so much it should be easy to remember an incident where other ponies weren’t the ones who messed up. Maybe some time when she was alone, so no other ponies could mess her up? But then she wouldn’t have any way to mess up! When could she have messed up?
“Wow, are you actually realizing that?” Starlight Glimmer asked in fascination.
“N-no,” Cozy said with a frightened glare at the counselor... prison warden... pony. “I’m just thinking. Maybe I don’t want to tell you.”
“No, no it’s good that you’re realizing it!” Starlight said blithely, ignoring Cozy’s obviously not realizing anything at all, because that would be losing to Starlight Glimmer! “It means that you’re not a lost cause! Some ponies who have your problem can’t even tell that their... perception is distorted. I-it’d be really good if you did, I mean. I really think you’re doing it!”
“I’m not doing anything, you stupid pony!” Cozy shouted angrily. Then blushing, she stammered, “U-unicorn. Pony unicorn!”
Starlight raised an eyebrow, saying, “Fairly sure my horn doesn’t make me stupid. But anyway, thanks for humoring me, I know what I’m saying doesn’t make a lot of sense, and I am pretty crazy for doing this. It’s okay if you can’t... think of certain things right now, off the top of your head. How about we cut this short, and I might even have an extra cookie to share next time, if you spend some time thinking about... how weird it is that you can’t think of any times you messed up. Can you do that?”
“Of course I can, but it doesn’t mean I will,” Cozy said resentfully, planning on most certainly not earning that cookie whatsoever even if Starlight always brought cookies from Sugarcube corner that were the most amazing thing Cozy had ever... okay maybe she would think about it a little bit.
Cozy figured it out, as her leg healed nicely over the next few days. Drawing a picture of Starlight laying helpless on the floor while Cozy got to stand all the way on top of her desk, Cozy Glow realized that Starlight was just trying to make her doubt herself. Cozy couldn’t help it if she was just that good. She didn’t make mistakes, because she wasn’t stupid like the other ponies. She never regretted anything she did because she couldn’t... because of obvious reasons.
Thus, in the next counseling session, Cozy Glow felt outright smug as she walked into Starlight Glimmer’s prison warden counseling office without a leg brace, and flumped her small form on the beanbag, with only a slightly painful twinge from her hind leg. The beanbag was more like too comfortable to sit in. Not as soft as a cloud, but warm and plush instead of wet and cold. She lay there gazing luxuriously at the enigmatic unicorn, before saying in a gloating tone, “So, are you going to ask me?”
“...yes, but first things first,” Starlight said, and her horn lit up, lifting a delectable chocolate chip cookie from its box and floating it over to Cozy Glow. Cozy flinched back as it approached her and the cookie paused, before settling onto the floor, the blue magic’s glow fading around it. Cozy leaned forward and took it gingerly in her hooves, looking at Starlight a little uncertainly, because it was payment for information, but Cozy didn’t even tell Starlight yet. When Cozy went back on her word, was Starlight going to try to take her cookie back?
Actually that would be pretty amusing.
“I just want to make sure you know you’re getting your cookie,” Starlight said from from behind her desk, “So you can tell me whatever you want, and I won’t be able to hold it against you.”
“What do you mean?” Cozy asked innocently.
“Well, it’s just you probably have some pretty upsetting things to say to me,” Starlight replied, folding her forelegs on the desk.
“...how do you know?” Cozy asked a little less than innocently.
“Eh, it’s what I would have done,” Starlight said, failing to suppress a small smile. “Go ahead and eat it. Then you can hit me with your best shot.”
Cozy couldn’t exactly refuse to eat it.
The warm, almost savory sweet cookie dough, the dark chips just melted on her mouth. Cozy loved chocolate. It was her absolute most wonderful favorite thing since coming to Ponyville. And... she wanted another cookie, but Cozy would return to Tartarus before she asked that unicorn for a favor. Everything Starlight said and did always came with a catch. Cozy just wasn’t sure what it was this time.
“So what do you think?” Starlight asked, after Cozy finished her cookie, “Have you thought about any times you made a mistake?”
“No, but that’s because I don’t make them,” Cozy explained patiently, “I can’t help it if you’re the one making all the mistakes all the time. Some of us are smarter than any stupid pony.”
“So you can’t think of a time when you made a mistake, because you’re just that good,” Starlight prompted.
Giving her a suspiciously sideways look, Cozy Glow said, “...yes? No. No I can think of a time, if there ever was a time. But there wasn’t, because I’m just that good.”
“Far be it from me to question that,” Starlight poised, “But if you had made a mistake, and for some reason you couldn’t think of it, do you mind if I offer some suggestions?”
“Suggestions?” Cozy repeated warily.
“Yes, I’ll help you think of times that you made a mistake,” Starlight said, “And you can tell me how they weren’t a mistake.”
“Why are you asking me to just... yell at you?” Cozy asked in bafflement, “I told you I don’t make mistakes!”
“Well I do make mistakes,” Starlight said, “And I need your help to show me how I’m mistaken, and how things really happened. So how about it?”
“...what’s in it for me?” Cozy asked testily.
“You... wanna go outside after this?” Starlight offered, “I have some time to take a walk with you afterwards.”
Cozy desperately wanted to get outside and run around until every inch of her young body stopped screaming at her to move move move. And she’d been very good at ignoring that screaming, until Starlight brought it up, of course. Cozy had been unable to do anything at all the past few days, while her leg healed and it was driving her crazy!
“And maybe another cookie?” Starlight offered sweetly.
“Fine, but... it’s your funeral,” Cozy Glow said anxiously, pretty sure that this was going to bite her in the butt somehow.
“When you first came here, you got in a bit of trouble with the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Starlight suggested, “And you came to me for help. That wasn’t a time that you messed up?”
“No, it wasn’t. It was a time they messed up, by letting Twilight kick them out, instead of asking to attend the school,” Cozy replied easily.
“Okay, that clearly wasn’t your fault,” Starlight said in a way Cozy didn’t feel like was entirely sincere, “There are a few other possibilities, so bear with me.”
“I’ll bear something,” Cozy grumbled under her breath.
“You were defeated, once,” Starlight Glimmer said offhoovedly, “You thought you had the perfect plan, but you made mistakes, and a bunch of strange creatures saved the day.”
“They didn’t save the day, they ruined it,” Cozy shot back.
“Oh, sorry yeah, ruined it,” Starlight said sheepishly.
“That was their fault,” Cozy said, “They could’ve just left well enough alone, and everything would have been all hunky dory! I was doing just fine without them.”
“Uh huh, I’m sure everypony would have recognized you as the Empress of Friendship, and nopony would have been able to stop you,” Starlight drawled wryly.
“It might not have worked out perfectly, but I would have figured it out,” Cozy insisted cagily.
“Yeah, about that,” Starlight said, “You told me earlier that you didn’t think much about destroying all the magic in Equestria, since you didn’t have any other way to win.”
“...yeah?” Cozy tried.
“Well you didn’t win, so now you have plenty of time to think about it,” Starlight suggested, “So let’s talk more about what would happen if you destroyed all the magic in Equestria. What do you think would happen?”
“You wouldn’t be able to... stop me from becoming more powerful than anyone else in the world,” Cozy Glow said, squinting at the unicorn suspiciously.
“How much food do you think we could grow?” Starlight asked, “There would be a lot less food without the magic to sustain it.”
“So?” Cozy said, trying not to think about it.
“I think you know what it’s like to be hungry, Cozy Glow,” Starlight said seriously, “Ponies would die. Ponies would have to sit there, wishing they could find something to eat, watching themselves get thinner and hungrier, until they just died.”
“Well—that’s—” Cozy wouldn’t cry, “Because—the princesses had their stupid magic that... how else was I supposed to fight them?!”
“Mmm,” Starlight barely acknowledged, “Do you know how Princess Celestia and Luna came to be princesses of Equestria?”
“They’re the only ponies who can move the sun and moon,” Cozy said, tilting her head in confusion, “...right?”
“Actually a team of about sixteen unicorns can move the sun,” Starlight replied, “It’s kind of risky though. Princess Celestia made... a special bond with the sun. It’s her cutie mark, you know?”
“Well that’s how she got to be princess,” Cozy said, “Because she has the power of the sun.”
“If you read her diary, she and Luna raised the sun and moon for quite some time as fillies, before they became princesses,” Starlight countered.
“You read Princess Celestia’s diary?” Cozy asked very skeptically.
“There’s been a republishing of an old journal she and her sister kept, when they were fillies,” Starlight shrugged, “I can probably get a copy if you want to read it.”
“...what’s in it for you?” Cozy said.
“Why does somepony always have to have something in it for them?” Starlight asked in frustration, “I just want to help give you something to do when you’re stuck in your room. Gotta fill up that bookshelf somehow, right?”
“You’re giving me the diary of the princesses who rule Equestria,” Cozy stated slowly for a simpleton like Starlight to understand, “And you don’t think I’ll use it to rule Equestria?”
“I read it, and I don’t rule Equestria!” Starlight protested, “Don’t worry, it doesn’t even have anything about how they came to rule Equestria, but I can tell you how they did, according to what Princess Celestia told Twilight. The two sisters came to rule after they grew up a little, and defeated Discord with the Elements of Harmony. Everypony practically demanded the princesses be given rule over Equestria, then!”
“What? Why?” Cozy asked distrustingly but also a little hopefully.
“Because they defended all of Equestria from harm,” Starlight explained, “Ponies felt safe, with the princesses in charge, because that way Princess Celestia and Luna could protect everypony, all by themselves.”
“Well that’s stupid,” Cozy said bitterly, “Ponies just forced them to be princesses to make them do all their work for them! I meant who became a princess through power?”
“Uh, nopony,” Starlight replied carefully, “There was a unicorn king who did that, but... you know what happened to him.”
Cozy Glow didn’t want to acknowledge that she did.
“So, that’s one way to become a princess at least,” Starlight said, “When Equestria has no princesses, thanks to your... magic destruction I suppose, all you have to do is defend us from a great threat, and we’ll rally behind your power. And then you have to defend us forever. It’s probably not the way you’d want to become princess.”
“Certainly not!” Cozy huffed, crossing her forelegs.
“I guess that’s what I don’t understand about your whole plan, Cozy Glow,” Starlight said uncertainly, “You wanted power, but you didn’t get power. You were just taking power away from other ponies. Yes you’d be relatively more powerful than them, but you’d still be a pegasus filly, who couldn’t defeat a monster like Tirek if she tried. How were you going to convince everypony that you alone could protect them?”
“I... I was gonna think of something,” Cozy said, blushing and dropping her forelegs to brace on them again.
“But you didn’t,” Starlight said, “And now that you think about it, nothing about your plan would have given you anything you wanted. You wouldn’t get any power. It wouldn’t make ponies love you more. It would hurt many ponies, making them fight more, making them fight you more. You could go hungry, or you could die. Cozy Glow, do you still want to destroy all the magic in Equestria?”
“Y-yes,” Cozy claimed desperately.
“Do you?” Starlight asked, her eyes full of sorrow as she looked into the eyes of Cozy Glow, “Do you really?”
“Maybe?” Cozy said fearfully, shrinking before the unicorn’s gaze. Cozy couldn’t stand it. Not that look, no!
“Are you really that stupid?” Starlight asked in desolate anger, and was she—was she crying? “You would destroy everything, and hurt yourself, and suffer, just because you couldn’t stand to admit to anypony that you were ever wrong?!”
Cozy scrambled back further, hiding from those horribly familiar eyes, blurting out, “No! No I’m not that stupid! Please stop looking at me like that! Why are you crying?”
“I–I’m...?” Starlight started to retort, then she looked down at her desk, saying distantly, “Oh, I am crying. Huh.”
Silence.
“Sorry, just give me a minute,” Starlight said, shuddering.
“What is wrong with you?” Cozy Glow asked, fluttering up from her beanbag in alarm, and then suddenly falling, landing jarringly on the floor of course. She would never get used to that.
“Look, I–I’m not perfect either, and I’m still trying to figure this all out,” Starlight said, wiping her eyes dry with her foreleg, “It’s just that for a minute there I thought you were too stupid to recognize your mistakes.”
“Well, I’m not,” Cozy said, looking sidewasy at Starlight, wings spread warily.
“So you do recognize that you made a mistake, right?” Starlight asked, sniffling hopefully, “Back then you didn’t think it was a bad idea to destroy all magic, but now you do, right?”
“N—should I?” Cozy asked in conflicted uncertainty.
“Well, yes!” Starlight said giving Cozy a curious look.
“Why should I?” Cozy retorted, “Of course you wouldn’t want me to destroy the magic, because you’re a unicorn! You’re just trying to make me think that it’s so good that you get to be more powerful than me.”
“No! I’m just trying to give you a chance,” Starlight retorted, “If you can’t think of any mistakes you’ve ever made, then... then maybe you can’t get better after all. I just need you to think of one mistake. Please, Cozy. I-it doesn’t have to have anything to do with magic. You... you helped the Cutie Mark Crusaders become tutors, and because of that, they helped defeat you! Would you have helped the CMC if you’d known they would defeat you?”
“No, I wouldn’t, but I had to help them, because otherwise they’d know I was only pretending to be good, and everypony would hate me,” Cozy observed, “Just like they hate me now!”
“Why did you even go to them in the first place though?” Starlight pressed, “They wouldn’t have been in the school when you were defeated if you hadn’t. You weren’t just setting them up, so you could have an excuse to talk to me were you?”
“N–Y—” How did Starlight know?! “S-so what if I was!” Cozy declared in outrage.
Staring at Cozy in amazement, Starlight said, “Oh Celestia, you were looking for an excuse to talk to me.”
“Maybe a little?” Cozy said, half hiding behind her beanbag, “I don’t plan that far ahead!”
Silence.
“Oh. Oh, of course you don’t,” Starlight said in a tone lacking in both trust and belief, “But if you could do it again, you’d have picked some ponies who weren’t gonna lead to ruining your plans. Or you’d do something else to get my attention. It was a mistake to ask those three for help, and you couldn’t know that until after you were defeated!”
“Right! So it means I didn’t m-make a mistake, because I didn’t know,” Cozy said all flustered.
“It was a mistake, you agree it was a mistake, and you made it,” Starlight said carefully, “Cozy Glow, you made a mistake.”
“But I didn’t know!” Cozy protested shrilly.
“You don’t have to know to make a mistake,” Starlight insisted, “In fact I don’t think you can make a mistake, unless there’s something you don’t know about the situation. Cozy please, can you see that it was a mistake, and you made it?”
“How was it a mistake if I was defeated?” Cozy shot back, “Don’t you want them to beat me, and put me in a cage, and make me—?”
“I got you out of that cage!” Starlight declared furiously, “And I want you out of this cage. But it doesn’t matter what I want. It was a mistake because you wanted to take over the world, you thought the CMC weren’t an obstacle to your plans, and you were wrong. That means you made a mistake.”
“Why do you want me to make a mistake so bad?!” Cozy shouted at her.
“Because you can’t!” Starlight shouted back, “You can’t admit it! You’re—powerless and weak. You are a bad pony, Cozy, and you need to change that, because you can’t even admit that you made a mistake!”
“Yes I can!” Cozy declared, scraping her hoof as she faced the angry unicorn.
“You can’t even say it!” Starlight insisted, “You can’t even say ‘I made a mistake!’”
“Yes I can!” Cozy repeated angrily.
“Then say it!” Starlight shot at her, “Go ahead, I dare you. I bet you can’t. You can’t even say ‘I made a mistake’ because you’re just a weak, pathetic—”
“Yes. I. Can!!” Cozy screamed.
Silence.
“Then say it,” Starlight said quietly, looking at Cozy in contemptuous disgust.
“I made...” She could say it she could say it! “I m-made a mis–mistake,” Cozy said feeling... wrong for how hard it was just to say it. But she didn’t! She never made mistakes! It was a lie, and Cozy Glow was going to go back to Tartarus before she admitted that she couldn’t even say it. “I made a mistake,” she growled, tensely, “There, I said it. Even if it’s a lie.”
“I don’t know...” Starlight said skeptically, “Say it again.”
“I... made a mistake,” Cozy said irritably, “It’s not true though.”
“And again?” Starlight prompted.
“What is the point of this?” Cozy demanded hotly.
“It’s getting easier to say, isn’t it?” Starlight said all sneakily, “You almost couldn’t say it the first time. Say it again, and notice how it’s getting easier to say.”
Puzzled, Cozy Glow said, “I made a mistake.” It was easier to say. Cozy hadn’t even realized she couldn’t think about that stuff. She didn’t even know she was—!
“Rrrrrrr!” Cozy growled in rage, jumping off the beanbag and stomping to the door, reaching it and shouting, “Open this! We’re done here. I don’t want to talk to you ever again!”
“Fine by me,” Starlight said, strutting up to her, “C’mon, let’s go outside.”
She—! “I don’t want to go outside with you!” Cozy shouted, “Take me to my room, now!”
“We’re going outside,” Starlight said flatly, “Are you going to come with, or do I have to use my magic to drag you outside?”
Fear stabbed Cozy’s rage, and she said, “No I’ll go, just...” she gave an angry snort trying not to sound so trembly when she said, “You’re an awful, evil, hateful witch!”
Starlight opened the door to her office with her hoof. Cozy Glow had thought it was a magic only latch. But the latch clicked, and the door opened, and Starlight Glimmer said, “After you.”
Cozy Glow didn’t know what to think, until they got outside in the crisp cool Autumn air so full of the smells of leaves and fireplaces, and she asked resentfully, “Why are you even—”
“You remember how I was saying there are ponies so crazy that they can’t even imagine a time when they ever failed?” Starlight remarked, gazing at the leaves, “Every time somepony points out a time, they have to pretend that it wasn’t a mistake, because their brains are just broken.”
Looking at Cozy with sympathy, Starlight said, “I’m really glad that I can say when I make a mistake, and... I wish you would.”
“You don’t mean that,” Cozy said with a roll of her eyes, “You want me to pretend like I made a mistake, because then you’ll be better than me.”
Starlight paused on the path away from the hospital, looking at Cozy Glow. “I didn’t fire Nurse Sweetheart, you probably noticed.”
“Oh golly, did she scare you into keeping her?” Cozy asked in sweet concern.
“...let’s just get moving,” Starlight grumbled unhappily.
Cozy walked along with Starlight Glimmer, down the trail into the woods. The filly’s leg felt stiff at first, but as she walked along, it relaxed somewhat. With leafy shadows playing across their forms in the soft wind overhead, the mare paced slowly on alongside the filly, looking forward and saying softly,
“Nurse Sweetheart is a good pony, Cozy. A better pony than me sometimes.”
Cozy certainly wasn’t going to defend Starlight. They were all terrible!
“I... I couldn’t be there, when she punished you for arguing with Morning Glory,” Starlight continued sadly, “I only heard about it afterwards. But I wanted to be there. I wanted to show you I could be there, and help you.”
“So what? You were there, when she punished me later,” Cozy said suspiciously.
“I didn’t know how much you hated leashes,” Starlight pleaded, “You... accepted one the first time, and I burned it to ash without even asking how much it was bothering you.”
“And you burned the second one to ash, too!” Cozy attested.
“I... made a mistake,” Starlight said, stuttering to a halt. Cozy stopped with her, while the unicorn looked down at the filly and continued, “I gave Nurse Sweetheart the leash, and told her to take you to breakfast on it.”
Cozy stared at her in disbelief.
“I wanted to show you what I could do for you!” Starlight said pleadingly, “Just a nice, safe demonstration. I wanted you to know I wouldn’t let things get worse, before somepony came along who really hated you.”
Ears going down, Starlight said, “Then I teleported in and—you were screaming, and I just panicked. I was supposed to sternly lecture her, then let you off your leash, and I just aborted everything and got out. I just made up that part about the leash being in your file. She didn’t—we didn’t really know it was that serious, and I’m so sorry you hurt your leg.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Cozy said completely flabbergasted, “You can’t just tell ponies when you were tricking them. The trick doesn’t work then! I know you were stupid for trying to get me on your side, but this is a whole nother level of stupid!”
“Wait, you knew?!” Starlight asked, lifting a hoof in alarm.
“It was pretty obvious,” Cozy admitted with a wince, “The old good cop / bad cop routine. There’s no other reason you would have teleported in just then.”
“I thought if you found out, you’d hate me!” Starlight retorted anxiously, “That’s why I’m telling you!”
“I do hate you!” Cozy said, stomping angrily on the dirt, “It’s not gonna work on me, because I’m never going to be on your side, because I’m never going to trust anypony about anything!”
“I wasn’t trying to get you to trust me!” Starlight protested in confusion, “Why would I tell you about all this if I thought it’d make you trust me?”
“I don’t know!” Cozy shouted in exasperation.
Starlight Glimmer took in a breath, and let it out.
“I don’t want you on my side, Cozy,” Starlight said frankly, “I don’t care if you hate me, because I’m gonna help you anyway. What I was trying to do is get you to respect me. I want you to know exactly what I’m gonna do if anypony tries something like what Nurse Sweetheart did. You wouldn’t have believed me if I just told you. And you still don’t believe me, but at least you saw me doing it.”
“It—it still didn’t... but that’s not why they do that!” Cozy protested in flusterment.
“What do you mean?” Starlight asked with wide, innocent, clueless eyes.
“They do it when they’re shaking a pony down, to find out what he knows,” Cozy said, “Trying to get information out of him.”
“What kind of information?” Starlight asked hopefully.
“Like where his boss was hiding if he wouldn’t pay up, or if something happened to one of the girls,” Cozy explained, “They always had to watch out for—”
Cozy Glow stopped talking.
“Sorry, Cozy,” Starlight Glimmer said in apparent apology, “I won’t tell anypony about what you said.”
“You’d better not,” Cozy said, looking warily at the lavender unicorn.
A few moments and Starlight said, “Well, at least you’re not screaming at me and running away.”
“Why would I do that?” an offended Cozy Glow asked, blushing and adding, “...this time.”
Sighing, Starlight said, “Let’s just keep moving...”
As they walked through the whispery woods, Starlight Glimmer said, “So, now there’s no way for me to become better than you.”
“What are you talking about?” Cozy asked irritably.
“I just told you of a big mistake I made,” Starlight said, “So it’s too late for me to be better than you. Now if you tell me about a mistake you made, then there’s no way it’ll make me any better than you.”
“What’s your problem?” Cozy retorted angrily, “You just won’t give up. Why are you really trying to get me to tell you about my mistakes?”
“It’s okay if you did make a mistake,” Starlight suggested blithely, “And if you want to tell me about it, you might feel better. So that’s why I’m asking.”
“You just want me to spill all of my secrets!” Cozy protested, “Nothing doing, nuh uh, no way.”
“You don’t have to spill your secrets,” Starlight assured her, “You could just tell me... how you felt about what happened, when the Cutie Mark Crusaders went up against you.”
“I felt pretty good,” Cozy lied, “About showing them how I have all the power.”
“And if there’s any mistakes you feel like you made,” Starlight added uneasily, “You can tell me about those too.”
“Do I have to?” Cozy whined.
“No, though I would appreciate it,” Starlight confessed, “You don’t have to, but you can tell me if you want, why things... went wrong back then.”
...
They were halfway back to the hospital, before Cozy replied, “I didn’t think they would make friends with Sandbar.”
“Hum?” Starlight asked perking an ear.
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Cozy explained, “They were so dumb. They just walked into the broom closet, and that was it for them. And then... then those stupid creatures broke into the harmony chamber. I thought I could blame everything on them, and they just stole all my power. Why do they get to be better at friendship than me? I had the whole school hating them, and then somehow they ended up so powerful because all of Equestria loved them, and everypony hated me.”
“That was pretty unfair, wasn’t it,” Starlight admitted, “Though, everypony was going to hate you regardless.”
“Why?” Cozy asked looking up at Starlight with big eyes.
“Why do you think all those royal guards were there?” Starlight asked, “They were coming after you long before those creatures broke into the... is it really called a harmony chamber?”
“Tirek told me it would turn the tree’s magic against it,” Cozy said grumpily, “Guess it wasn’t good enough.”
“I guess what I’m saying is they already defeated you, before they got any magic at all,” Starlight said, “Harmony didn’t help with anything other than saving their lives. And... saving my life too.”
“How did they defeat me before they got any magic?” Cozy declared in confusion, “I told, you everypony hated those creatures, and only cared about me!”
“They freed Chancellor Neighsay,” Starlight replied as Cozy balked, “He warned the princesses, and they warned the rest of Equestria. Everypony outside that school was marching against you, for what you almost did to them.”
“They freed Chancellor Neighsay?” Cozy blurted out in astonishment, “But he hated them!”
“Guess you made a mistake there!” Starlight said in amusement.
“N-no I didn’t,” Cozy said evenly, looking forward at the path they were walking down.
“Well if you did, then it’s okay,” Starlight said casually, “And if you tell me it was a mistake, then you’ll feel better. Right now you have to hide it if you make a mistake, but if you tell me, you won’t have to hide it anymore. I promise I won’t say a word about it to anypony else.”
Cozy Glow thought about it, but she couldn’t find anything wrong with Starlight’s logic, and why would Cozy even care if she made a mistake? It’s not like she had a broken brain or anything. Her ears going down, Cozy said, “...I didn’t think they were going to free the chancellor. I didn’t think he’d take over the school. It was a mistake, and it was all going wrong. He was such an idiot that he had to ruin everything—”
“Yes, we know he was an idiot,” Starlight cut in, “But worry about yourself, not him. You made a mistake, it was all going wrong, and are you okay now?”
“No I’m n-not—” Cozy said, her eyes tearing up as she desperately blurted out, “Grogar dammit it’s all their fault! Her ridiculous friends telling all their stupid lies about—”
“Did you know our newest princess is an ear of corn?” Starlight remarked.
“What?!” Cozy shouted beside herself with—what??
“An ordinary ear of corn became a princess, because they found it between two nearby buildings,” Starlight explained, as if that explained anything.
“What are you talking about?” the filly declared in outrage.
“Well, why do you think they made it a princess, when they found an ear of corn between two buildings?” Starlight asked.
“I don’t kno—”
“Because it’s an alley corn!” Starlight said with a bright smile.
“An... ali...corn?” Cozy asked in utter confusion.
“That’s what’s between two buildings,” Starlight said, “An alley. That’s where they found the corn.”
Blinking, Cozy, said, “Oh, so it’s an alley...corn. W-was that supposed to be a joke?”
“Don’t worry, there are plenty more saved up where that came from,” Starlight said proudly, “Anyway, I think we’ve talked enough, so let’s just enjoy the walk for now.”
Then they were walking silently among the trees.
“...what are you really doing?” Cozy queried suspiciously.
“I’m just walking!” Starlight quipped innocently, “The leaves sure are pretty this time of year.”
“I know you’re hiding something,” Cozy insisted, “Don’t try to fool me.”
“It’s really nothing,” Starlight replied, “Right now I just want to enjoy this walk.”
“And you want me to enjoy it too,” Cozy said resentfully.
“That’d be nice...” Starlight admitted, “But you can feel however you want about it, it’s your choice.”
Cozy wanted to say more, but she didn’t think anything that infuriating unicorn said would make sense at this point. So she just walked. And... smelled the air. And the leaves really were a beautiful sight, like the whole forest was aflame. Cozy would have protested more, but she had had entirely too much excitement in one day. She didn’t know why, because nothing happened, yet she slept like the dead that night, so protesting her injustice was the last thing on her mind.
Also once she got back to her room, Starlight Glimmer gave her another cookie.