//------------------------------// // Starlight’s Search // Story: Cozy // by ferret //------------------------------// Cozy Glow liked when she got to take walks where she and Starlight Glimmer didn’t talk. Even when she could feel the cooling wind in her wings, reminding her of how broken they are, it was nice to just walk along in silence. It was certainly easier than letting that unicorn manipulate Cozy into feeling things she didn’t want to feel. Unfortunately, one of her quiet walks was much more exciting than any other walk they’d had. It was inevitable, really. Word got around about the asylum, that Cozy Glow was there, and what Cozy Glow had done. Cozy’s leg healed beautifully, and Starlight took her out walking more often, to make sure she exercised it as much as she needed. That put the two of them outside, and not always hidden by the cover of the woods. A pegasus who was looking out for them could probably spot the two of them a mile away. She and Starlight were walking through the dry grass of a breezy meadow out in the autumn sun, when Cozy’s wings snapped out at the feel of a suddenly approaching storm. No, a tornado! No a hurricane! Rainbow Dash slammed into the ground before them with a thoom, and a rush of wind practically picking Cozy up and carrying her away. It didn’t quite though, so Cozy was able to keep her hoofing as the angry rainbow maned pegasus shouted at Starlight, “What the buck is this?!” Gesturing at Cozy, Dash declared, “What the buck is she doing out of Tartarus?!” “She’s—” Starlight started to explain, but Rainbow Dash interrupted, saying, “No, no Twilight already explained everything to me. You think you’re gonna reform her? After what she did?” “Rainbow Dash, stop,” Starlight said irritably, “What she did doesn’t matter. It’s—” “Doesn’t matter?!” Rainbow Dash declared in outrage, “Cozy Glow is a murderer! ” Cozy Glow blinked. “She’s a what?” Starlight asked in outrage. “You heard me!” Rainbow Dash said with a furious scowl, “She knows what she did!” “I really don’t,” Cozy admitted, with a very uncomfortable feeling about this. “You—she—!” the furious pegasus said, looking from Cozy to Starlight indecisively, and then said in a tormented whine to Starlight, “She almost killed you and you don’t remember??” “But she didn’t kill me,” Starlight pointed out helpfully. “What about all the other times when she did?” Rainbow Dash demanded angrily. “I’m pretty sure she hasn’t killed me multiple times, either,” Starlight said, raising an eyebrow. “No, the other ponies she’s killed, besides you!” Rainbow Dash protested in exasperation. Giving Rainbow Dash an uneasy look, Starlight replied, “I’m pretty sure that Cozy Glow has never successfully trapped any other pony in a giant ball of magic and hurled them into the aether, either.” “No that—I’m not talking about the magic!” Rainbow Dash fussed, “I’m talking about the clouds!” Starlight seemed troubled by this revelation. “Are you stupid?” Cozy Glow genuinely wanted to know of the pegasus, “I made sure that pegasus magic wouldn’t get destroyed! That was the whole point!” “Not everypony in the clouds was a pegasus!” Rainbow Dash hollered back. ... “Two hundred and twelve ponies, Cozy,” Rainbow Dash attested to her face, “Two hundred and twelve ponies fell out of the sky that day. And I could only catch one. I could only catch her,” the pegasus pointed one blue forehoof at Starlight Glimmer. “Do you think there was somepony there to catch everypony else?” “I—uh—no?” Cozy said, shrinking back in wide-eyed bewilderment. “There were fifty-eight ponies who died from falling out of clouds,” Rainbow Dash stated, “Fifty-eight ponies you destroyed forever with your stupid scheme!” “Well um... whoopsie?” she said uncomfortably, smiling sheepishly at Rainbow Dash. Stepping in between them, Starlight said angrily, “Rainbow Dash, this is a really bad time for—” “No! You don’t get to shield her!” Rainbow Dash seethed, “She doesn’t get out of this for free!” Shouldering aside Starlight Glimmer, she shouted at Cozy, “There were foals who died! You murdered foals!” Cozy was panicking inside, trying to think what a normal pony would say to this. They’d be trying to comfort Rainbow Dash, right? “Golly, that sounds terrible! I’m so sorry, Rainbow Dash,” she said with a trembling lower lip, “But... at least it’s not as much of a waste?” “Not much of a—!” the pegasus stared speechless at Cozy because Cozy was messing it all up! Why couldn’t she think of what to say?! “Because they haven’t lived as long!” she tried to explain, sympathetically, “They don’t have as much life to waste. It’s worse if foals are crippled, right? Because then they have to live with that for a really long time! Why are you being so mean to me??” “You are completely insane!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed at her in horror, “I don’t know why Starlight thinks there’s anything good about you. You don’t even care that you... you killed foals! How could you do that? How could you do that to all of us, every single pegasus who lost a friend that day? You killed them, Cozy! You did! You didn’t even know them, and you killed them all!” “Okay, stop,” Starlight said, and Cozy scrambled back as Starlight’s weird unicorn magic flashed brightly. Cozy looked herself over, but there was no magic on her. “W-w-what was that?” Cozy asked tremulously, staring suspiciously at Starlight. “Rainbow Dash isn’t going to yell at you any more, Cozy,” Starlight said, not looking away from the chromatic pegasus, “You can say whatever you want to her, and you won’t get in trouble for it, because Rainbow Dash and I are going to have a nice private talk afterwards about judging other ponies.” Cozy looked at Rainbow Dash, who still looked absolutely furious, but wasn’t twitching a muscle, or saying anything. “I-I didn’t mean to kill anypony,” Cozy Glow told Rainbow Dash uncertainly, “I didn’t even think about ponies walking on clouds, until you ran in, and... and then it was too late, then! You can’t blame me for taking advantage of an accident! It was a mistake. I am sincerely, and terribly sorry all those ponies got hurt, but there were plenty more ponies for me to be friends with. “You’re getting upset over nothing,” Cozy huffed, turning away from Rainbow Dash and rolling her eyes, “It’s not like a few dead ponies were going to ruin any of my plans, so why should I care? Why does everypony get so upset about ponies dying? It happens all the time! And if I didn’t mean to, it means it was just an accident, not my fault, and I’m not a murderer!” She got silence in reply. Turning back to Dash, Cozy asked suspiciously, “Why aren’t you yelling at me? You’re just standing there!” “I’m... holding her in place with my... magic...” Starlight Glimmer said, her horn glowing as she concentrated on the rainbow pegasus who was illuminated slightly in her aqua green magic’s glow, her frightened eyes darting from Starlight Glimmer to Cozy Glow. “So just... say what you want to—” “Let her go!” Cozy yelled, wings spreading again as she stared in horror at the paralyzed pegasus, growing more shrill as she said, “No I don’t want this! Stop it right now, you can’t do this! You have to let her go! Stop it Starlight! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!!” Rainbow Dash staggered back from Cozy as Starlight’s magic faded. “It’s... it’s not my fault!” Cozy protested to Rainbow Dash as Starlight stared at Cozy in surprise, “I didn’t tell her to do that! She did it because she’s a unicorn! She does it to me all the time because she hates me and I didn’t even do anything to deserve it!” “I never did that to you once, Cozy,” Starlight said in outrage, “And I should have, when you were pulling your own leg out of its socket just because the nurse was trying to collar you!” “She did what?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed in confusion. “Okay, no, okay we are all going to calm down,” Starlight replied, “We’re going to calm down, get Cozy in her room where she is safe, and then you and I are going to have a little chat, Rainbow Dash.” “Why should I—” Rainbow Dash started, but Starlight interrupted, getting right in Dash’s face, growling, “Because I don’t want you or anypony else dropping out of the sky to attack a pony who is not well, without even telling me about it, or talking to me about your problems, when she is in my care, under my protection, and she is mine.” Marching off from there, Starlight’s magic started dragging Cozy by her tail behind Starlight like some kind of primitive cave unicorn. Her clipped wings fluttering uselessly, Cozy protested to the unsure looking Rainbow Dash back there, “See? See?! She’s doing it to me!” “This is not the same thing,” Starlight shouted over her shoulder, “Now come on or I am going to drag you both the whole way?” “So... are you like... Cozy’s mom, now?” Rainbow Dash asked cautiously, after having slunk meekly into Starlight Glimmer’s office, with Cozy returned safely to her room. “I’m the director of the Ponyville Asylum for Troubled Ponies,” Starlight said tactfully, “Of whom, Cozy Glow is currently our most disturbed, traumatized, and fragile patient.” Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. She uneasily ceased laughing when Starlight didn’t laugh with her. “Seriously?” Rainbow Dash asked in frustration, “How is that filly in any way traumatized? Fragile? She didn’t even in flinch at all those ponies she killed!” “That’s right, she didn’t flinch,” Starlight said darkly, “How many times do you have to kill somepony before you stop flinching at it?” “Well you’re not... flinching very much, either!” Rainbow Dash protested, “How many ponies have you killed?” Starlight stared at her like a lost puppy in a hurricane. “Everypony,” Starlight replied, sinking her head wearily down against her desk. Rainbow Dash looked at her askance. “It didn’t take,” Starlight explained, “But the point is that little fillies are very saddened by death. She should have been crying her little heart out at learning that ponies died because of her.” “Not if she’s a little monster, who doesn’t care about anypony,” Rainbow Dash drawled in an unimpressed tone. “That’s... one possibility, yes,” Starlight said testily, “Or, maybe, she’s an ordinary filly, who had something terrible happen to her, that changed the way she thought about ponies dying, and now she’s afraid to cry.” “Well, what happened to her?” Rainbow Dash asked with a wince. “I haven’t the slightest idea,” Starlight Glimmer said, ears dropping glumly. “Then how do you know anything happened, and she’s not just bad?” Rainbow Dash retorted, hopefully. “Do you know the last thing that made Cozy cry?” Starlight asked in a casual way. “I dunno. She saw somepony she could pretend to be sad in front of?” Rainbow Dash asked, flat-eared. “No, that—technically yes,” Starlight admitted, “But I didn’t mean the last time she cried. I meant the last thing that made her cry, as far as I know.” “Obviously I don’t,” Rainbow Dash said grumpily, “What could possibly make her cry?” “Cozy hurt her leg, and I was giving her a ride,” Starlight said, “I barely started moving before she was crying.” “Why was she crying?” Dash asked, confused, “Because she hurt her leg?” “I’m... pretty sure that’s not it,” Starlight replied dryly, “After she started crying, she pushed off of me then and started getting angry at me. She threw an outright tantrum, said she hated me, and that I was trying to make her feel good. Then she insisted on walking the entire way back on a hurt leg, without so much as a whimper.” “...but why was she crying?” Dash persisted. “Because I was doing something nice for her,” Starlight mused, “That’s what I think at least. She hates herself so much, she can’t stand it when anypony does anything nice for her.” “I sure didn’t see her crying a lot last year, when Twilight was basically doing nothing but nice things for her, because she didn’t know Cozy Glow was bucking evil,” Rainbow Dash said, unconvinced. “That wasn’t Cozy Glow,” Starlight replied softly. Rainbow Dash blinked. “Cozy Glow was pretending to be nice, all last year,” Starlight explained, “We weren’t being nice to her. We were being nice to the pony she was pretending to be.” “And that’s... different from now?” Rainbow Dash asked cautiously. “I think so,” Starlight said, “Cozy lost everything. She was totally exposed by her disastrous attempt to take over Equestria. And now that I know what she’s like when she’s not pretending to be somepony else, she can’t stand it when I do nice things for her.” “That’s... pretty messed up,” Rainbow Dash said frankly. “Cozy Glow is not a filly who’s just bad,” Starlight Glimmer declared, “She wants to get better, even if she won’t admit it. She isn’t in control of herself. She won’t talk about her past. So I think something happened to Cozy, which made her this way.” “Well, regardless, do you think she can get better?” Rainbow Dash asked, “That filly’s bad news!” “Yes, I do,” Starlight said confidently, “If I can keep her from manipulating me, I think she can come to respect me, and look to me for support, even though I know who she really is. Then we can work on healing her suffering.” “How do you know she’s not already manipulating you?” Rainbow Dash skeptically wondered. “I don’t,” Starlight said, staring at nothing, “She probably already is. I don’t know how much of Cozy’s distress is sincere, and how much of it is manipulation.” “What if all of it is manipulation?” Rainbow Dash asked in understandable concern. “Then at least it won’t make her any worse,” Starlight said with an uneasy smile, “Besides, she’s gotta slip up some time, right?” Cozy Glow buried herself under her sheets and blankets in her real bed that she could really sleep in, and had never been gladder to be locked away from the outside world. She missed her skull... In a sparkling explosion of magenta light, Twilight Sparkle appeared in Starlight’s office, shouting, “Rainbow Dash! There you are! I told you that’s not the whole story! I’m not going to let you... uh...” The angry alicorn seemed to notice she was in Starlight’s office, then, with both Starlight and Rainbow Dash looking at her curiously, but calmly. “Oh... yes, talking to Starlight Glimmer,” Twilight said appreciatively, “That’s more like a good idea. I thought you were going to go and start yelling at Cozy Glow herself or something.” “Yeah, I um, IIiiii got some weather work to take care of so um,” Rainbow Dash replied, trotting out the door with a wing hiding her blushing face, before taking off to soar into the air overhead. Twilight looked after her, before turning to Starlight Glimmer and stating flatly, “She totally started yelling at Cozy Glow, didn’t she.” “Eyup.” Later that day, Cozy Glow had some time to calm down. She didn’t even bother trying to hide when Starlight came to her door. Sitting on her bed, the pink and blue filly looked out the little window with bars on it, wondering how her mom felt when she did it, pointedly facing away from the pinkish lavender unicorn. Cozy’s powder blue tail swished idly as she sat on her haunches with her butt facing Starlight Glimmer. “Oh, it’s you,” Cozy Glow drawled in the most disinterested of ways, as Starlight Glimmer opened the door and strode inside. Cozy didn’t even need to look to know who it was. “Yep, it’s me,” Starlight said in that fake chipper voice of hers, heading up to the silent filly on her bed, “So... you okay?” How exactly was Cozy going to go about getting Starlight Glimmer to leave her alone forever, and let Cozy just die in this room? “You are so pitiful, Starlight Glimmer,” Cozy said in a mocking voice, turning to face the nervous looking unicorn mare. “You still think you can fix me. You still think there’s anything to save, and the more you trust me, the more I win.” “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Starlight offered, but Cozy shot her down, saying, “It’s you who’s the problem, not me. You just keep trying when you know it’s not gonna work.” A horrible grin filled Cozy’s face as she told the naive unicorn, “I’m a murderer, remember?” “There’s no way you could’ve known—” Starlight huffed in flustered frustration. “Oh I could’ve known, I just didn’t care about all the ponies who died,” Cozy casually clarified, idly eyeing her forehoof, “It’s just like Rainbow Dash said. I’m not sorry, and I would throw them all off the clouds myself if I could.” “You would not, and you know it!” Starlight protested, stomping a hoof on the floor. “Poor Starlight Glimmer,” Cozy purred, climbing down from her bed to stalk around behind the unicorn, “You think you’re gonna solve all my problems. You think I’m just gonna smile at everypony and be nice and happy forever.” “No. No I don’t, in fact!” Starlight retorted huffily, looking back. “Then leave me alone, and stop trying to fix me,” Cozy snapped at her, “There is nothing to fix. You just want to control me. You’re is just as bad as me, and you’re only trying to fix me because I’m the one who got caught. Don’t you want to be bad? Don’t you want power?” “I have power!” Starlight shot angrily back at her, “I could leave you in this room and forget about you, and nopony else would care, because you won’t tell us who your parents are, or where you came from. I could hurt you and I could defeat you, and you think I want that?” “Yes you do!” Cozy protested, shouting, “There’s nothing wrong with taking what’s yours. What are you gonna do, save all those old dead ponies I killed? Well you can’t! They’re gone forever!” “I don’t care if those ponies are gone forever!” Starlight shot back, “You—” “No, you don’t,” Cozy said coldly, “You don’t care about them, or me, or anything other than getting what you want. You’re just like me and you don’t want to admit it. You know that the only way to get anything good is to take it, and the only way to take it is power.” Starlight was staring at her in horror, so Cozy concluded sweetly with a smug flick of her tail, “I’m sorry Starlight, but I guess you just can’t handle the truth.” “What happened to you, Cozy?” Starlight demanded in a fear-stricken, tremulous voice. “Nothing happened to me,” Cozy said irritably, “It’s just the truth! I can’t help it if you ponies are too stupid or sneaky to realize it.” “What did Tirek say to you, that made you think any of that was true?” Starlight asked, wilting sorrowfully. “He didn’t say anything to me!” Cozy retorted hotly, not sure what Starlight was getting at, “He told me how to get power, and he tricked me! Just like you said. He tricked me, and I was going to destroy him for that, with the power of friendship.” “I-I’m sorry, Cozy Glow,” Starlight said regretfully. “What do you mean you’re sorry?!” Cozy shouted, “I wasn’t even talking about you anymore!” “You got me good, heh,” Starlight said shakily with a playful kick of her forehoof to the side, “You made me so angry I wasn’t even listening to why you were angry. You have so much good in you, and nopony even realizes it.” “What? I do not!” Cozy spluttered, backing up until the bed hit her rump. “You know what’s evil,” Starlight contested, “You know the difference between bad and good. I don’t even know what to think about those ponies who died, but here you are all ready to tell me exactly why and how you’re a bad pony for doing it.” “I...I what? No! Isn’t it obvious?” Cozy said in total confoundment. “I never even thought about killing another pony, and you already hate murderers,” Starlight said in growing excitement, “You’re not a bad pony because you want to be. You don’t think you have any other choice!” “S-shut up, yes I do!” Cozy protested, her fear rising as the tears threatened to break through. “You hate how those ponies died,” Starlight insisted, “And you want to save them, but you can’t. Can’t you see you want to be bad not because you are, but because if you were bad, then everything you did would be okay? You just want everything to be okay, Cozy Glow!” “Shut up!” Cozy sniffled, wiping at her stupid eyes, “Id’ll never be okay ad I’m a monster pony because I hate you and—” “How is a rabbit the same as a plum?” Starlight cut in urgently. Cozy sniffed, asking breathless and mystified, “W-what?” “A rabbit,” Starlight lifted a hoof upright, “And a plum,” Starlight moved her hoof to the left. “How are they the same?” “They’re...? Round?” Cozy said in utter confusion. “No, a rabbit is the same as a plum, because they’re both purple,” Starlight explained, “Except for the rabbit.” “But then they’re not... is that a joke?!” Cozy demanded in outrage. “That’s what I’m told,” Starlight said jovially, “Sorry, I was going a little bit overboard there. I just want you to know that I’m not going to let Rainbow Dash or any other pony do that to you. You can call me a stupid pony if you want, but I’m not gonna give up on you. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me. I don’t care if you’re crazy, or a murderer, or whatever. You deserve a chance, Cozy Glow. Other ponies might try to put you down or hurt you, but I’ll do everything I can to keep them from taking that away from you.” At Cozy’s dazed stare, Starlight blushed, and added, “You don’t have to believe me, but seriously if there’s anything you need, I’ll make it happen.” “Will you help me rule over Equestria?” Cozy asked in innocent eye-fluttering hope. “What you need not just what you want,” Starlight said, flat-eared, “It can’t hurt to ask though. In that case, no.” “C-could I have—” Cozy blurted out haltingly, panicking as this would totally give her away, but she wanted it and Starlight would never, but maybe she would, and it couldn’t hurt to ask, could it? “You’re lying,” Cozy said, squinting at the older mare, “I could ask for something and not even you would ever give it to me. Because you can’t stand it if I’m bad.” “Try me,” Starlight said dryly. “The worst I can do is say no.” Cozy tried not to feel hope flaring in her heart as she said, “You wouldn’t give me a—a skull.” Starlight’s eyes widened, as Cozy tried not to beg and plea and fear, saying, “I-i-it’s mine. I had a skull. They took it away from me, and they wouldn’t give me it even in Tartarus and I... n-never mind.” Cozy stared at the ground in terrified silence, just waiting for the accusations and the suspicion, knowing that Starlight Glimmer was probably going to be sneaky about it or something. Starlight Glimmer was quiet for far too long. “C’mon, let’s go out for a walk,” Starlight repeated noncommitally, “And I’ll think about it.” “A walk?” Cozy asked skeptically. “You still need your exercise,” Starlight said practically, “And I’ll make sure the next pony who shows up to give you a hard time is gonna regret it.” Cozy was sure Starlight was gonna ask about the skull on the walk, but all Starlight talked about was the pretty leaves falling all around. Even Cozy had to admit, she hardly believed that seasons could be so beautiful. But why wasn’t Starlight asking her? Did that mean Cozy wasn’t going to get her skull back? That must have been it. Starlight just didn’t even want to think about it, so Cozy Glow wasn’t ever going to get it back again. She... really missed it. Twilight Sparkle led Starlight Glimmer into the dimly lit room in the Ponyville Friendship Castle Police Department. They made use of the castle’s secure facilities by taking up a wing in the lower section. Twilight was allowed in of course, and so was Starlight Glimmer at the heels of the princess. A member of the Canterlot investigation team was waiting for them in the evidence room. “Adult female earth pony skull,” the stoic investigator said as they approached, indicating as such on the table. Both Twilight and Starlight couldn’t resist balking at the sight. That was a real pony’s skull, just sitting there. “Six puppets on strings representing the element bearers,” the investigator continued politely, moving on past the skull through the rest of the evidence on the table, “One cardboard crown and yoke in the likeness of Princess Celestia’s regalia. One framed portrait of Cozy Glow. One desk ornament shaped like a large gold star...” “Yeah, we need to look at the skull,” Starlight said leerily, unable to stop glancing at the morbid thing. Was it looking at her? She could swear it was looking at her. Was that what was Starlight’s own skull looked like? That weird looking... thing? That was in her head? “...of course you do,” the mare said flatly, trotting back to the skull. The investigator was a tan furred pegasus with pink and green hair and pale blue eyes, not anypony Starlight or Twilight had met before, a pony who flew in from Baltimare for the purposes of this investigation, but a pony neither of the other two mares were especially familiar with, and not somepony they expected would stick around for a very long time. “Not much to say,” she said in a vaguely apologetic tone, “It’s a skull. Lower jawbone missing but those typically separate when uh... decomposition happens. Some interesting marks beneath the ear canal, likely some sort of trauma before or after death. Pretty unhealthy teeth. The nose has been broken and healed at least once. “It isn’t falling apart, is it?” Starlight asked uneasily, “Is there a... preservation spell on it?” “No enchantments or other magic detected, and it is in good condition,” the investigator replied, “Though some pitting around the upper jaw indicates, er...” Wincing at the two queasy looking mares, the investigator said, “I only ever see this in murder cases, where scavengers have gotten to the victim and... well the physical removal of flesh from bone is what causes that pitting, normally not present when the flesh decays on its own.” At everypony else’s silence, the investigator uneasily continued, “The skull is one of the last bones to be scavenged, so without the rest of the skeleton it’s hard to say for sure. I just don’t see the clean bone you find when it gets skeletonized by corpse beetles.” “Corpse beetles?” Twilight Sparkle asked, grimacing in anticipation. “You probably don’t want to know,” the investigator said, ears going flat, “Suffice to say it’s the skull of a mare who passed away three or four years ago, who was likely a murder victim left out for scavengers, before she was buried, and then... obviously un-buried.” “H-how many murder cases have you seen?” Starlight asked shakily. “Me?” the investigator asked, giving Starlight a surprised look. “Just... curious, heh heh,” Starlight said with a nervous smile, “You seem pretty... comfortable about this stuff.” A moment’s thought, and the investigator said, “There’ve been two I’ve seen in Ponyville. One was a familial dispute, the other was in a battle over some ancient artifact. There’s not many ponies with a talent for autopsy though, so I get to see most of the murders in Equestria. Maybe about two a year?” “S-so 2 ponies are getting murdered every year,” Starlight said anxiously, “I didn’t even know. That has to add up to a lot.” Shrugging, the investigator replied, “There are hundreds more ponies every year who die natural deaths instead of murders. I just don’t get invited to funerals.” “The last time I went to a funeral I was just a foal,” Twilight said distantly, “I never knew my great grandmother very much either.” “You ask about a skull, you deal with death, that’s sort of how it works,” the investigator said, irritably lashing her tail, “What did you think it was, a costume prop?” “Would have made things a lot easier if it was,” Starlight replied, ears wilting. “Do you think there are any more forensics you can perform on this, er, skull?” Twilight asked hopefully. “Not without damaging it,” the investigator replied warily, “Why do you need to? I thought with Cozy Glow apprehended and uh, tried, that this case was closed.” “‘Uh’ tried?” Starlight asked skeptically, only getting the investigator glancing nervously at Twilight Sparkle in response. Facehooving, Starlight Glimmer groaned, “Cozy Glow didn’t get a trial either, did she.” “Because she confessed,” Twilight said as if that were obvious, “There were several royal guards who were eyewitnesses to this!” “And you trusted her at her word?” Starlight replied irritably. Twilight fishmouthed a moment. “A...bout the only thing we need to do at this point,” the investigator said cautiously, “Is find out whose skull this is, and return it to its grave,” “Can we... borrow it?” Starlight said equally hopefully, “We might be able to find some clues who it belonged to!” “It’s not exactly by the book,” the investigator said reluctantly, “But with the princess’s permission, I don’t see why not. You just have to make sure not to get it damaged. Ponies wouldn’t appreciate you returning a broken skull to their relative’s grave.” “Oh, there are a few preservation spells I stumbled across that should do the trick,” Starlight said dismissively, “I’m sure I can bring it back to you good as new!” “Better you return it to where it belongs,” the investigator said with a tired sigh, “I want this awful thing to be over. Did you read that news article they published last week?” “No,” Starlight replied cautiously, “Should I have?” “Probably yeah,” the investigator said with a disgusted scowl, “It’s the one with the headline ‘Foal Murders Foals.’ Really boils my blood.” “Why’s that?” Twilight asked. “Because it’s not murder if you didn’t intend to do it. It’s ponyslaughter!” the mare huffed, “But murder makes headlines, and meanwhile the real murderers are cheering, because now everypony thinks that all they did was accidentally kill somepony!” “That’s why Rainbow Dash attacked her!” Starlight realized in shock, “She must have read that newspaper article!” “A hundred ponies die on accident every day,” the investigator continued to gripe, “That filly barely tops half of that number. It’s just all the unicorns lost their twinkly magic and...” The pegasus glanced at the two unicorns and blushed, adding, “Uh, no offense.” “None... taken,” Starlight said, “It was pretty terrifying to lose my magic, but I’m not going to attack somepony over it!” “It’s just a buncha sensationalist garbage I tell you,” the colorful investigator mare agreed in relief, “They need to report on the real crime, not this...” She gestured wordlessly at the evidence table, searching for how to say it, finally fighting out, “...sick kid.” “Why don’t they publish a report on this pony?” Twilight said, pointing a hoof at the skull, “I bet it’d be big news how she died.” “If only it was easy as calling the newspapers about it,” Starlight sighed, “The answers are right here, but without Cozy’s help...” “At least we know the skull is significant to her,” Twilight said sympathetically, “I think some hard decisions are going to need to be made, Starlight Glimmer. And you might be the only mare in Equestria who can make them.” Starlight was sure of it. That skull was definitely giving her a smug look. Well, it finally happened. Cozy Glow ate lunch together with other ponies. They weren’t allowed to talk with each other of course, and there was a nurse by Cozy Glow’s side the entire time, but Cozy got to leave her room, sit in the cafeteria, and eat her food, with all sorts of interesting ponies around her. There was the famous one, a pink unicorn who Cozy had never heard of before, the upset one, a plain brown earth pony mare with no cutie mark who had gotten into a shouting match with Cozy before. There was that shifty eyed pony with the pink and blue hair, and another brown mare, oddly enough, whose mane was curled back in a conservative looking swoosh. Were crazy ponies more likely to be brown? Cozy Glow certainly didn’t know many sane brown ones. Or any brown ones for that matter. Was brown a defective color? These and other questions she did not ask, because the goal as Starlight told her, was to eat lunch together, without any altercations. Cozy wasn’t required to actually interact with any of them, and they weren’t allowed to bother her. It was the perfect arrangement comfort-wise, except that it left Cozy Glow feeling more helpless than ever. They were all stupid and insane ponies, so why did she want them to come over and bother her? Cozy Glow just wasn’t comfortable with going into a situation blind. She wanted to learn about these ponies, so she would know how to get them to do what she wanted. She had to start building support for her cause somehow, but she couldn’t let them get to her, make her lose her cool, and then make bad things happen. She had to find out about them before she said hello. But how was she going to get anypony to trust her enough to tell her about the other patients? “Oh, the one with the swoosh in her mane is named Intern,” Starlight said after lunch to a flabbergasted Cozy Glow, “She had some traumatic experiences in her past, and an emotionally abusive mother, so I wouldn’t try to tease her about her parents, if I were you.” “R-really?” Cozy asked, surprised as all heck that Starlight was just answering her. “Her mother named her Intern, so that she wouldn’t succeed,” Starlight said in a very unimpressed tone, “Just to give you an idea of what kind of pony she is. Don’t worry, Intern’s not anything like her mom. At least that’s what I’ve heard from the uhm, support group who were trying to care for her, before Intern came here.” “Don’t you have... doctor confidentiality or something?” Cozy asked incredulously, “Why are you telling me all her secrets?” “Doctor what? It’s not secret, first off,” Starlight protested, “And second off, you are really good with other ponies.” Cozy didn’t deny that. “I want you to know how to treat ponies around here,” Starlight said, “I won’t tell you anything that could get them in trouble, but I want to make sure that you won’t say something to hurt her on accident.” “You want to know if I’m doing it on purpose!” Cozy realized, looking shocked at the surprisingly sneaky unicorn. “Maybe a little, but if you do, I’m sure you have your reasons,” Starlight said with a sheepish smile, “You just have to make sure they’re really good reasons, because if you do something like that on purpose, ponies won’t like you, or trust you as much. You will stop liking yourself in fact, unless you pretend she isn’t a pony, and that has all sorts of problems with it.” “What do you mean pretend she isn’t a pony?” Cozy asked skeptically. “Intern and you are both ponies,” Starlight explained, “She’s intelligent just like you, kind in her own way, and you can both help each other out, because you’ve got so much in common. But if you found a pony who was just like you, and you hurt her, isn’t it a lot like hurting yourself? What if somepony hurt you that way? Do you really want somepony else to feel like that?” “Well... no? But...” Cozy said cautiously, “I just have to keep other ponies from hurting me.” “Yeah, that also has problems,” Starlight said with a wince, “Because now you have to assume everypony’s trying to hurt you. It’d be a lot less scary and overwhelming if you think of somepony as a friend, but then you would have to feel bad about yourself for hurting her. See the problem?” “Uh–I... I guess?” Cozy replied, trying to imagine it, “How would I think of somepony as a friend, though?” Starlight blinked at her. What did she say? Cozy was confused. “How about a trust building exercise!” Starlight said pleasantly, pulling out a deck of playing cards in her magic. Then dropping the deck as Cozy tensed up, Starlight blushed, and scooped it up with her tail instead. “Sorry, that wasn’t the exercise,” she said, getting the cards on her desk with some difficulty. “Do you know how to make a card house?” “A card house?” Cozy asked skeptically. “Oh it’s really dumb. Let me just...” Starlight started hoofing out cards, and trying to balance them, but was having some serious trouble of it. “Oop–sorry,” Starlight said sheepishly as the cards clattered down again, “It’s a lot easier with magic.” “Y-you can use your magic,” Cozy said, inching away from the desk. “It’s supposed to be difficult though, not easy!” Starlight protested. “It’s a... hold on I... just gotta... yes!” She had successfully made sort of a cross between an M and a T using four cards for the base, with a fifth laid on top. “See these are the walls, and this is the roof,” Starlight explained indicating the top and side cards as Cozy Glow sauntered up to the desk, to look at it curiously. “Card house! You can make them way more elaborate, but it doesn’t look very stable, does it?” “I guess it doesn’t,” Cozy said noncommitally. “You could push it over, no problem,” Starlight said dramatically, “And then all my work would be ruined!” “All thirty seconds of it?” Cozy asked, unimpressed. “Now I’m going to turn around, and you’re gonna show me I can trust you,” Starlight explained, “By not knocking down the cards. You won’t get in trouble if you do, but if you want me to trust you, you can’t knock down the cards.” Starlight then turned away from the table, facing the wall. Eyeing the purple and cyan haired pony uncertainly, Cozy Glow reached forward with a little pink hoof and pushed the card house over. Starlight turned around, and Cozy actually blushed because... because she wasn’t sure she wanted to do that, or not do that, or anything. “Oh...” Starlight said ears falling in disappointment at the sight of the fallen cards, “Well, now it’s your turn. Build a card house, like I did.” Cozy did so and—wait no it—it kept falling over, when she... no wait she had to... “Harder than it looks, huh,” Starlight said sympathetically. “H-how do I...?” Cozy said in frustration. “Balance the card on your hoof, so you can place the other card, there see?” Starlight said, “Now just pull out just the edge of your hoof and place the third card on top... there you—oops! Careful when you set it down. One more try.” Cozy got it on the second try, which was good considering she was starting to contemplate throwing every deck of cards in Equestria into the aether. “Okay,” Starlight Glimmer said delightedly, “Now I need you to turn around and look the other way, and I promise I won’t knock over your card house.” “...why?” Cozy asked, eyeing Starlight Glimmer warily as the unicorn sat on the other side of the desk from Cozy Glow’s card house. “Just humor me, for now,” Starlight said smugly. “I don’t want you to knock over my card house,” Cozy said, glaring at the other pony. “We’re going to have to clean it up eventually,” Starlight lazily replied, “But I promise I won’t knock it down this time. Do you trust me?” “No,” Cozy said flatly. “Does it matter if I knock it down?” Starlight asked teasingly, “It’s just a few cards. You could just build it again. Why do you care so much about a house of cards?” “I don’t!” Cozy protested, “Why would I even care—fine. Go ahead and knock it down. See if I care.” “It’s just an exercise,” Starlight assured her, “Just turn around and give me a chance to knock it down.” Cozy turned around reluctantly. “Think I knocked it down, yet?” Starlight asked the filly facing the door of her office. “No,” Cozy replied curtly, “Y-you’re not going to, because that’s just part of your plan.” “It’s your plan too, right now,” Starlight said confidently, “You built that house of cards. And you think I’m gonna knock it down, even though you wish I wouldn’t, just a little bit.” “You aren’t because you have something planned,” Cozy insisted, “You’re just gonna make me think I don’t want it knocked down.” “Think what you like,” Starlight said, “But I promise you that when you turn around, your card house will be there.” “Can I just turn around yet?” Cozy replied in aggravation. “Yes, you can turn around,” Starlight told her. Cozy Glow did so and... there was a house of five cards standing on Starlight’s desk, still. It made Cozy feel... “W-what is this?” Cozy Glow asked suspiciously, staring at Starlight, while that house of cards was there, and not knocked over, and it was doing something to her! “It’s a trust building exercise,” Starlight explained, “What you’re feeling right now is trust, because I kept my promise and didn’t knock it over.” “I don’t care about a stupid card house!” Cozy protested. “You don’t have to care about it a lot,” Starlight said dismissively, “It’s just an exercise. Just to feel what it’s like to trust somepony.” Cozy looked at Starlight, and her lip trembled, and she said tightly, “You should say a joke now.” Eyes widening in alarm, Starlight said, “Oh uh, sorry just... just turn around one more time, we’re almost done. And this time I’m going to knock it over.” “What?” Cozy Glow asked testily. “It’s the second half of the exercise,” Starlight replied, “Now you’re gonna turn around, and you can trust me when I say I’m going to knock it over. So just turn around, one more time.” Feeling seriously conflicted about this, Cozy Glow turned around one more time. “Okay, I’m getting ready to knock it over,” Starlight announced, “You think it’s still going to be standing when you turn around?” “No,” Cozy said distrustfully, “You’re doing something sneaky. And you’re gonna knock it down. And I-I’ll scream if you make me...” “Wait, listen close,” Starlight said, quieting down. Cozy listened, and she could hear a soft flutter of cards toppling down on top of each other. “It’s done,” Starlight said, “I promise you that I have knocked over the card house, but before you turn around, there’s just one thing...” Cozy listened, puzzled, then with a thwa-a-a-a-a-ap all the cards sprayed against the back of her head! “Hey!!” Cozy declared in outrage, spinning around to find Starlight biting her lip to try to keep from grinning. It wasn’t working very well. “Sorry, but that was hilarious,” Starlight said in amusement to the filly with cards stuck haphazardly in her hair. “Anyway, that is what it’s like to think of somepony as a friend. It’s just a stupid card house, but you know you can count on me when I say it’s gonna be knocked down. Once you have a friend, you’ll feel that way about important things, like secrets you know they’ll keep, or you know they’ll help you out when you’re in trouble. And Cozy, if you meet Intern and you hurt her on purpose, you won’t be able to think of her like that. You won’t be able to trust her not to hurt you. You’ll have to be on guard all the time, not just from her, but from anypony else who could hurt you.” Actual fear stabbed Cozy’s heart at Starlight’s humorless and very serious gaze, as she said, “That’s why I’m letting you know about Intern, because I know you don’t want to hurt her. It’ll just hurt you if you do, and I believe you’re smart enough to know better, to use that knowledge to help her. Please don’t prove me wrong.” With a slight smile, she added, “Who knows? You might make a friend.” A pause to lower an ear indecisively, and Starlight said flatly, “Actually, probably not. Intern’s not exactly all there, if you know what I mean.” “No, I don’t know what you mean,” Cozy said, cautiously. “She has... these... episodes,” Starlight said with a wince. After a few meals under close supervision, Cozy Glow got the chance to understand just what Starlight was talking about. The nurse had been slowly relaxing her security around Cozy Glow, and Cozy had the chance to choose where to sit this time, choosing to sit near the brown pony with the swooshy cowlick in her hair, who was most cruelly named Intern. “Hi there, I’m Cozy Glow!” Cozy said in a very friendly tone. “Oh, hi,” the young adult mare said in a high, soft voice, turning and looking down at filly, “Did you want something?” “Well,” Cozy said a little slyly, “Did you know that Starlight Glimmer has been saying a lot of things about you?” The mare didn’t respond, and Cozy’s smile inched down as the mare didn’t respond. She didn’t move, she didn’t react, she just stared at Cozy with these deep brown, haunted, empty eyes. “I–I’ll just leave you to your lunch,” Cozy Glow said nervously, backing up from the mare, to discover that Intern was still staring at the spot Cozy Glow used to be in, if she was staring at anything at all. Cozy watched the mare from all the way across the cafeteria, until Intern closed her eyes, rubbed them with a forehoof, and then went back to placidly eating her food. A few meals later, Cozy got her second chance, approaching Intern and asking, “Hey, what happened back then?” Cozy asked in a hurt tone, “Why did you just sort of... stop?” “Oh, there’s just certain things I can’t think of,” the mare said, between mouthfuls of eating her cereal. “Like what?” Cozy asked curiously but it was already too late. The mare stared down into her cereal, and she didn’t drop her bowl at least, but she just kind of dully stared downward at it, forever. “I didn’t—I mean stop thinking about those things!” Cozy protested, “Oh no, I’m making it worse! Stop thinking! I’ll just... I’ll just l-leave you to your breakfast!” The mare didn’t think to apologize to Cozy afterwards, if she was even physically capable of it, when she started calmly inserting her snout into the cereal bowl crooked in her foreleg, to munch on cereal again. “How about... instead of asking me where I came from again,” Cozy said very testily, perched on the beanbag in Starlight Glimmer’s office, “You tell me what the bell is wrong with Intern?” “Bell?” Starlight Glimmer asked oh no! “T-the hay, what the hay,” Cozy corrected herself hastily. “It’s just—bells are... in hay uhm...” “I’m not going to force you to tell me,” Starlight said wearily, again, marking something in her clipboard, “But what about Intern? You mean her episodes?” “She just stopped!” Cozy protested, “I don’t know why you thought I could do anything to her. Is she even a real pony?” “Hm... remember when you were in Tartarus?” Starlight said casually, “If I recall, you mentioned they made you use a bucket.” “T-t-they—so what?” Cozy Glow asked hotly, “What does that have anything to—?” “Do you think Tirek ever watched you?” Starlight asked, “You know, watching it come out?” ... “And that’s what’s happening to Intern,” Starlight said with a self satisfied nicker to the horrified Cozy Glow. “What?” Cozy asked frantically, trying to claw those images out of her brain except she had no claws. “Intern had some terrible things happen to her,” Starlight said, “And... I think her schizophrenia made it worse. So, she’s basically having traumatic flashbacks. All the time.” “Why did you have to say that? Now I can’t stop thinking about it!” Cozy heedlessly moaned in despair scrunching her forelegs into the hair on her head. “Yeah, well I know you will be fine, because you’re a tough little filly who can come out of most anything intact,” Starlight said unsympathetically, “And Intern’s a lot more fragile. Plus she’s on horse tranquilizers. So we’re still trying to figure out how to deal with that.” “Why are you telling me this?” Cozy asked irritably, “Now I’ll never be able to look at him without—” “Because I want you to trust me, Cozy,” Starlight said honestly, “How could you ever trust me, if I didn’t trust you?” “You don’t even trust me to go to the shower without a pony watching me!” Cozy retorted. “It’s really hard, Cozy Glow,” Starlight replied in sad frustration, “You did something that made Twilight Sparkle throw you in Tartarus! You hurt so many ponies, and it’s just hard for us to trust you.” “They got their magic back,” Cozy Glow grumbled, “What’s the problem?” “Not that, ” Starlight sighed, “Before that, when you didn’t tell us how angry you were, and you didn’t tell us how frustrated you were with our school. You lied to everypony, making us all think you were a nice, wonderful, loving, friendly filly with no problems whatsoever. And then you pushed me into a magical vortex of doom!” Cozy was trying to think how to respond to that, when Starlight quickly added, “The magical vortex of doom was kind of cool, actually, if incredibly dangerous. But you could have thrown me into a broom closet, and it would have hurt just as much. Not hurting my horn, but hurting my trust in you. If you can act like there’s nothing wrong for a whole year, then suddenly... ruin everything, how am I supposed to tell that you’re even getting better?” Looking vaguely in the direction of where the communal showers were upstairs, before addressing the filly sincerely, Starlight added, “How do I know you won’t break the showers, when I thought you were totally calm and happy just a moment before? You hurt everypony’s trust in you badly, Cozy Glow. I’m trying to trust you again, but all I can do is give my trust back to you a little bit at a time, and hope that you’re smart enough not to betray it this time.” “Golly Miss Glimmer, would you rather I had just started shouting at Twilight Sparkle about how stupid her School of Friendship is?” Cozy asked with a cold resentful glare, “I was only going there because you were all stupid enough not to ask questions. You had control of this incredible power, and I needed it, but you were just wasting it! What does not eating strawberries have to do with honesty? Rainbow Dash just made us play dodgeball the one time I went to her class. You ponies don’t know anything about friendship, or power, you just keep pretending that you do! And you wanted me to just tell her that?” Starlight looked like she was going to cry. Well, good. She should feel awful for how she was the worst guidance counselor ever. “Yes!” Starlight denied. Wait, no she didn’t deny it? Cozy was confused! “Yes, that’s amazing Cozy!” Starlight said in tearful delight, “I didn’t even know you thought we were wasting our power. A-and I never knew how you were doing in any of your classes. You never told me about Rainbow Dash. I could’ve asked her why she thinks dodge ball teaches Loyalty. You could have asked her! I could have asked Applejack what...” Trailing off in puzzlement, Starlight asked, “Did she really tell you not to eat strawberries?” “Just that strawberries weren’t as good as apples,” Cozy replied in a disinterested tone, “And something about how someponies couldn’t be honest about that, so you had to remain vigilant. It was stupid, and I never went back, so—” “You never went back?!” Starlight asked in astonishment and uh oh. “Y-yeah, shows how much you know,” Cozy said, trying to sound smug about it, “I didn’t even have to go to any classes. All I had to do was read your teacher journal and I could pass all of your tests, easy! Why else would I think I’m better at friendship than you? Because I am!” “See, that’s honesty that could have helped,” Starlight insisted, leaning on her desk with interest towards the filly, “You pretended you were attending classes?” “It’s not like any of the teachers cared,” Cozy said with a roll of her eyes, “Once I was Twilight’s personal assistant, everypony always thought I was busy with something, if they even noticed.” “But if you’d told me, or somepony else, then maybe we could have fixed our classes,” Starlight said hopefully. “Not likely,” Cozy Glow grumbled. “Maybe there was a secret to it,” Starlight went on, “And if you knew the secret it’d be obvious why those classes were good. But we can’t tell you it, if we don’t know you think your classes are stupid!” “I don’t see how this is confusing your little brain,” Cozy Glow growled, “Ponies don’t like mean little fillies who can’t control their temper, and they don’t like monsters. If I told Twilight and her friends that I was planning on ruling all of Equestria, they would stop me! I am not a mean little filly. I am cute and lovable, and if you don’t let me be that way, then nopony will ever do anything for me at all. Do you want me to die, Starlight Glimmer? Do you want me to just jump off a cliff, after you cut my wings in half so I just break open on the rocks?” “No! No I... what?” Starlight asked in horror. “Then stop trying to say there’s anything good about honesty at all,” Cozy stated practically, “I want to be cute and lovable, so I am cute and lovable, and it doesn’t matter what’s going on inside, as long as ponies think what I want them to think!” “T-that’s...” Starlight said, still speechless from the force of Cozy’s words. “And don’t even get me started on Loyalty!” Cozy rolled her eyes. “I just want you to trust me, Cozy!” Starlight said in a pained whimper, “I want to show you that you can... be as bad as you want, and I won’t even blink.” “Says the pony who won’t let me have what’s mine,” Cozy said imperiously, “Just because you think it’s evil, and bad. Well it’s not. Because I am cute and lovable and there’s nothing you can do t-to make me feel bad about it.” Looking at her worriedly, Starlight said, “This is getting a little heavy. Maybe we should wrap this up. Talk about it later. You want to go on a nice quiet walk?” “Oh sure, a nice, quiet walk, where you tell me all about what’s wrong with me,” Cozy said sarcastically, “And then somepony flies out of the sky with good wings, and tells me—no—tells you the truth you don’t wanna believe. Because you don’t even know me, and no, I don’t want to tell you, so you can just go get drubbed.” “Drubbed?” Starlight asked in confusion and oh no! “What’s that?” “I-I didn’t say that I meant... drugged with... bad drugs,” Cozy said with a nervous smile. “Well, I’ll try to avoid that,” Starlight said, marking something down on her clipboard. “So, about that walk.” “No.” “No talking,” Starlight assured her, “Just walking.” “...can we go into the woods?”