//------------------------------// // Criss Mess Milieu // Story: Cozy // by ferret //------------------------------// Cozy emerged from her room for breakfast one day, to find herself staring in bemusement at the asylum’s shared cafeteria. The walls were all decorated up in needly green wreaths and colorful garlands. Bright, twinkling lights wrapped around a little pine tree in the corner, with actual presents under it. Cozy Glow had forgotten about the whole celebrating the middle of winter thing that ponies did around here! She didn’t really get it, but it looked pretty at least. It was... interesting how they seemed to think the tree was so important. Cozy would have just made a pile of presents herself. And was that music she could hear playing from somewhere? “Look Cozy, happy Hearth’s Warming!” Nurse Tenderheart said gleefully on spying Cozy Glow’s reaction to the decorations, when the nurse escorted her down to breakfast. “I didn’t think you would have that here!” Cozy said, standing half within the threshold of the doorway, “This isn’t even a school or anyplace really.” “Well there’s nothing stopping us from decorating the place up a little bit,” Nurse Tenderheart said with a sassy giggle, “Lemme guess. You wanna know if you got any presents?” Cozy stiffened imperceptibly at that. She knew full well that she didn’t get any presents. Presents came from friends and family, neither of which Cozy Glow had. She didn’t think she needed to get presents, though some of them looked really fun. The last time ponies did this, she had to swallow her jealousy, smiling the whole time, being so happy for ponies getting just what they wanted. Or at least saying that they did. Last time, she just kept her head low, and made sure not to draw attention to the fact that she was... alone. What should she do this year, then? Last year had been like the opposite of a birthday, where everypony was giving everypony else gifts and food, except nopony was giving anything to Cozy Glow. She took some food back then, hoping that’s what you were supposed to do, and nopony objected to it. But other than that, she didn’t really enjoy herself at all. She supposed in the end that it wouldn’t be too much different. She just had to keep her head down, and not draw attention to the fact that she wasn’t getting any presents. Ponies suspected a lot, but if they never put two and two together, then they wouldn’t start giving Cozy a hard time for being alone like this, and that meant they wouldn’t try to find out what her Hearth’s Warmings had been like before she came here. But despite her concerns, Hearth’s Warming at the asylum was a merry holiday. Most of the asylum’s outpatient population were home with their families today, but the place wasn’t empty, as inpatients had brought their families along to join in the festivities. Cozy noticed that weird green unicorn was here with her earth pony friend. Intern’s father was here, a silver stallion to Intern’s uniform brown, looking pained whenever Intern struggled to be here as well, in both mind and body. Crackpot had some relatives, parents probably, who were getting pretty old, but he was so proud of showing them his screwy friend, who had decided to imitate a rag doll today. He was quite willing to cart around a giant ragdoll in his one good wing. And Sea Swirl had no family, at least none who ever visited, but she did have a blue green pegasus mare who seemed to be a friend, or at least was willing to sit there wincing while Sea Swirl regaled her with tales of greatness. That one awful pony named Cage had family ironically enough, though they didn’t look like they were very proud of it. Cozy Glow wasn’t the only one who was alone for Hearth’s Warming though. There was Morning Glory, who Cozy ate breakfast with. There was that one orange haired green pony whose name Cozy hadn’t managed to get, an angry mare who just sat by herself, staring at her food in disgust. There was Pinkie Pie, who probably needed to be chased out of the asylum again, and... there was one other patient who was alone, but Cozy didn’t find out about her until lunchtime. They had some special treats for breakfast, like those weird candy canes that Cozy couldn’t really seem to appreciate, or the hot chocolate that she certainly could appreciate. Mostly she just ate her alfalfa, barley and spinach, and didn’t worry too much about special treats today. Whatever she ate around here, it was going to be better than mushrooms. Unless it was mushrooms. Which were still better, for some reason. The exercise yard in winter sounded like a lot of fun at first, but it turns out snow is a lot less fun to jump around in after the first few days. Plus the nurses wouldn’t believe Cozy when she said she was cold. She was supposed to be some kind of super pegasus who could handle freezing weather practically naked if not totally naked. Cozy was fine with summer. It only got uncomfortably warm in the summers here, but the frozen winters, Cozy was much less a fan of. It wasn’t fun living in a refrigerator! At least she managed to convince them to get her a coat, but it gave her little solace when she slipped and her hindquarters sank butt first into the newly fallen snow. Lunch came around on Hearth’s Warming, because in Cozy’s life, meals were the highlight of her day since there wasn’t much else to do other than eat and study. She’d almost cracked Algebra she was pretty sure, once she figured out that variables were just like numbers except only the same variable could be combined. Beyond that little personal achievement, Cozy wasn’t especially impressed with her room/prison cell as of late. It was still much, much better than a rusty old cage. Cozy was so tired of cages. So she was glad to get out of her room, enough that lunch was a bright light in her dim dreary day, just because it wasn’t in that room. Plus she got to return to that curiously festive cafeteria. It was... kind of pretty, actually! So Cozy was pretty pleased as she strutted into the lunch line. Not everypony was pleased though, namely one very mopey dopey looking filly who Cozy hadn’t quite gotten wrapped around her little hoof yet. Approaching the green filly with the raven hair, Cozy put her food tray up next to Green Arrow’s, sitting on the bench beside the other filly and saying, “Oh, hello there, Green Arrow!” Giving her a baleful glance, the filly said, “Merry criss mess, Crazy Glue.” “Golly gee, insulting me in the first sentence, I see,” Cozy said a little less cheerfully, “And just why am I a criss mess?” “You’re not a criss mess,” Green Arrow said, frowning, “It is criss mess.” “What is?” Cozy queried in confusion. “This whole holiday!” Green Arrow griped, swinging a forehoof around at the lit up pine garland along the wall, “It’s a fucking criss mess ripoff, and I hate criss mess.” “What kind of mess is criss, exactly?” Cozy asked cautiously, “Do you mean criss, like, criss-cross?” Blushing in offense, the filly said, “No, it means—” Green Arrow’s mouth remained hung open a moment, before she closed it and put that forehoof under her chin, looking down and murmuring to herself, “Huh. I guess it kind of does.” “Well I don’t get why you hate it,” Cozy said grumpily, “It’s just ponies giving each other a bunch of presents because it’s cold or something.” “Just wait until you turn 18,” the filly replied unsympathetically, “Watch them stop giving you presents and start expecting you to get a job.” “I can’t get a job because I’m a criminal, not because I’m younger than 18!” Cozy remarked in confusion, “Who would give me presents, anyway?” At Green Arrow’s sympathetic look, Cozy blushed and added, “I mean I’m fine not getting presents. It’s just this weird combined birthday party that ponies do in the winter. They can do what they want. All I want is uhm...” “...to rule over all of Equestria,” Green Arrow prompted in amusement. “They’re not doing anything right on their own!” Cozy protested, “Who else do you think should be empress? You?” “I don’t think anyone should be empress,” Green Arrow shot back, “And I don’t fucking care if ponies are doing anything right or not.” “Well you would if...” Cozy almost shot back. “...what?” Green Arrow asked uncertainly. “Never mind,” Cozy said shortly, “It still doesn’t explain why you don’t like the holiday.” “Because it’s all a lie!” Green Arrow said in an angry whine. Then she paused and considered her own furry green chest before adding, “Maybe not here actually, but even in ponyland it’s a stupid holiday for giving presents to little kids and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else.” “You’re upset because you’re not getting any presents, aren’t you?” Cozy Glow realized with growing confidence, “It’s okay, only the stupid little kids need presents.” “It’s not the presents it’s... I don’t have any... any family, okay?” Green Arrow replied bitterly, “Everyone else has family who loves them and mine are all... gone forever, if they even existed in the first place.” “What do you mean, if they even existed?” Cozy asked, ignoring Green Arrows incredibly insulting oversight of herself, because it was kind of unsettling that the green filly would ever seem like she was shaky in her convictions about her past. “I don’t know if my—my memory is getting fucked up or what,” Green Arrow explained, staring at her food, “I was in my apartment when... something happened to the T.V. and when I looked up, Twilight was there in the window, but I can’t remember what else was outside. And then she was gone. It was all just black outside the window. Like not just dark but this solid black darkness and it was just... I didn’t even think that was odd. I thought it was odd that she was there just for a second. And... I–I can’t remember my parent’s names. I can remember names, like human names like Christopher and Agatha but... it’s just... the therapists keep pointing stuff out I remember, that doesn’t seem like it could be real. So maybe I am just some fucking stupid delusional girl, who doesn’t have any family, but I–I miss my family this time of year, and I don’t even know who they are!” “You never said who your family was to me,” Cozy Glow said apologetically, “Otherwise I could tell you if your memory was getting worse.” “Okay, so I—I was a yewman,” the black haired filly said urgently to Cozy, with an anxious glimmer behind her cool green eyes, “Two arms, two legs, no fucking fur. I was a guy, and I lived in this crummy 1 bedroom apartment in... somewhere. I grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, or... was it San Diego? And I uh I watched this cartoon on my T.V. that was like you guys, like my little ponies, but a cartoon. And I had a jacket I’d wear when I... went to the door and... I don’t remember ever going out, but I had Chinese takeout in the fridge so I must have gone out at some point. My favorite food was bacon. My mom used to cook bacon and pancakes and... all I remember is bacon pancakes. Don’t ask what bacon is.” “I know what bacon is,” Cozy replied, “It’s meat, just like steak and chicken, except chicken is also what you say when they’re still alive.” “Have you ever eaten meat?” Green Arrow asked, giving Cozy an appraising look. “I’m not gonna... talk about that,” Cozy said with difficulty, briefly turning away, “But no I have only... seen some... creatures who were eating meat. It always smelled really bad. You can like it though. But why are you telling me?” “I mean I’ve tried writing this shit down,” Green Arrow replied in a haunted tone, “But I can’t write worth shit, and if they’re trying to make me forget, they’d just destroy anything I wrote. So I’m telling you so if I start forgetting any of that, anything more, you can let me know they’re d-doing something to me and I’m not just crazy.” “Golly,” Cozy said in a small voice. She honestly hadn’t considered anything like that. Would they do that to this filly, just because she thought she was thirty nine? Could they do that? Would they really? “If it helps,” Cozy offered to the filly, “I still remember setting up those artifacts last year, to make the unicorn magic go away. If they had a way to make you forget stuff, then they’d use it on me for sure. So, there’s that.” “So because you’re way more evil than me, I can use you as a canary,” Green Arrow said rubbing her chin with a forehoof as she appraised the pink and blue filly, “I like it!” “A canary?!” Cozy replied, fluffing her wings in outrage despite herself. “You know? They take them down into mines, see if they pass out first?” the filly said looking surprised at Cozy’s outrage, “It just means they can’t be doing anything to me, as long as you’re not brainwashed or anything.” “Oh, I thought you were making fun of...” Cozy said, consciously folding her wings, “I thought it was a word to make fun of pegasi.” “C’mon Crazy Glue, you’re not even yellow,” Green Arrow chided her. “Canaries are yellow?” Cozy asked curiously. Blinking, the other filly says, “You don’t know what a canary is?” “I–I know they’re birds,” Cozy replied with a blush, “And I didn’t know what color they were.” “Only animal I know that’s your color is salmon,” Green Arrow said frankly, “I guess you could be a salmon, if your wings are little fish fins.” “My—!” Cozy blushed again, as the other filly teased, “Those feathers are each like little scales, right? Couple of fishy little fish fins.” “Oh yeah? Well you’re... two olives!” Cozy retorted, trying not to think of her wings as fish fins and of course failing. “Two olives?” Green Arrow asked, looking confused. “Yes, you are black... and green,” Cozy said carefully, “So that makes you two olives.” Blinking, Green Arrow looked down at her forest green foreleg, but shrugged and said, “Fair enough.” “And my name’s not Crazy Glue,” Cozy also specified, “It’s Cozy Glow.” “Sure thing, Crazy Glue,” the other filly said, going back to eating before Cozy could protest further. Cozy was polite enough not to interrupt a filly when she was eating, even if she wanted to shove Green Arrow’s face into her food for calling her Crazy Glue. Unfortunately, Cozy Glow was the most polite pony currently present, and it wasn’t just her and Green Arrow who were at this table anymore. “So... criss mess, huh?” a crazy mare asked quietly where she stood on the other side of Green Arrow, making the filly stiffen anxiously. Oh Grogar no, when did she creep up on the two of them? “That wouldn’t be a... human holiday, would it?” “No, it—” the filly protested fruitlessly as the mare hushed her, “Shsh-ssh!” the mare shushed the filly, getting up close and lowering her voice. Cozy wouldn’t have heard her, if she wasn’t right next to Green Arrow getting completely ignored, as she said, “You don’t have to tell me the truth. I already know that... “Hearth’s Warming is a coverup, ” the mare whispered. Green Arrow groaned, and thudded her forehead in her plate as the mare declared in one breath, “The humans, they have the real holidays. It’s on a different day on a completely different frequency from our own! I’m telling you, they’re trying to lull us into believing they don’t control all aspects of government. Why do you think they created this asylum? You and I, we both know this isn’t real. This is just an illusion, making us think that we’re being taken care of, when secretly the whole hospital is an evil demon, bent on breaking our spirits and crushing our will, until we do as the humans command. It all adds up. I know it does. I can’t tell you more, this is top secret, but Princess Celestia has been in communication with me. She’s telling me that we need to be on the east side of the compound at—” “Oh!” Cozy said dramatically, making the mare stiffen. “Hello Bon Bon,” Cozy said slowly and deliberately, giving the older mare a very calm smile, and a wide-eyed knowing look, “We couldn’t help but hear that you had some... crazy ideas that this wasn’t reality?” “Y-you have to fight it Cozy!” the pink and blue haired mare stated in terror, “G-g-g-get out of her body!” “I don’t know what you’re saying, Bon Bon,” Cozy replied in calm portent, unblinking, “You have always been a patient of the asylum. You were never a secret agent, were you? Princess Celestia doesn’t even know you exist. You’re just an insane little mare, who thinks she’s something she’s not. But even a crazy mare like you should know better than to snoop around on the east side of the compound.” The mare was utterly paralyzed in narrow irised fear. That should be enough. “This has been your only warning, Bon Bon,” Cozy stated with an unfriendly smile, “Sleep well tonight, and don’t let the yewmans bite.” Then Cozy Glow collapsed alongside her plate. “Oh... what happened?” Cozy Glow said dully, dazedly lifting her head, and looking to her left. “Agent Drops?” she asked, eyes widening in surprise on seeing the mare, “It didn’t... it didn’t do it again, did it?” “Meet me—meet—meet me on the east side,” the aptly named earth pony squeaked in urgent excitement, “East side of the compound right now. Hurry! We have to go!” “Right,” Cozy said, firming her jaw, “You go first, to make them think you’re alone, and we’ll be right behind you as soon as nopony is watching.” “Don’t let them touch you with their fingers,” Bon Bon hissed. Then with an excited little squeal, the creamy furred mare charged on out of the cafeteria like a pack of timber wolves was after her. Or, in her case, more like she was after a pack of timber wolves. Shortly thereafter a few nurse ponies went galloping on after the mare, followed by a green unicorn shouting, “Oh for the love of Pete!!” Green Arrow meanwhile had to physically hold her mouth shut, she was trying so hard not to laugh. “I had to get her off our backs somehow!” Cozy protested with a half tilt to her ear. “How the fuck do you come up with that stuff?” the other filly asked in giggling amusement. “Ehunno,” Cozy said with an amused shrug, knowing full well how she’d been teasing the crazy mare for a while now, with mysterious evil forces possessing her. And so the two fillies ate their Hearths Warming cafeteria food with relish (or at least with cranberry sauce), and Special Agent Sweetie Drops was carefully monitored for a good while thereafter, to make sure she wasn’t skipping her medication again. Cozy Glow’s friendship with Green Arrow was all well and good. At least Green Arrow wasn’t too annoying today. But Cozy Glow’s therapy appointment after lunch was pretty harrowing. It was the ice cream incident all over again. The sessions with Paradise had been getting pretty routine as time went by, not really making any progress, but just a way to check up on Cozy Glow and see how she’s doing. This time, progress was made, for better or worse. Once Cozy waltzed in and flumped on her bean bag as usual, Dr. Paradise pushed something Cozy’s way with a big smile on her face. It was a box wrapped up in colorful paper with ribbon. “Happy Hearth’s Warming!” the redheaded pegasus mare said cheerfully to Cozy Glow. “That’s...” Cozy said from her bean bag perch, eyeing the package, “...for me?” “Yes, I just thought I’d get you a little something,” Paradise said with a gleeful smile, “Go on, open it!” “Do you get all your patients a little something?” Cozy asked, giving Paradise a warily appraising look. Blushing, Paradise admitted, “Well, no, not usually. But I had a good idea for a present for you, and I didn’t think you were getting presents from anypony else. Not to emphasize that or anything. I just thought you might appreciate it.” Cozy climbed off the bean bag, and walked up to the present Paradise had scuffed across the floor. Was this really okay? “So I just... open it?” Cozy asked with a lifted hoof before the package. “Yes!” Paradise responded happily, “And don’t worry about the mess. I’ll clean it up. But really, I want to see what you think of it!” Intrigued, Cozy sat on her haunches and placed her forehooves on either side of the package, lifting up... and the whole package lifted up, not just the lid. It was kind of heavy actually. There was definitely something inside. But the ribbon went all the way around, without any breaks in it where a box lid would open. Putting it down again, Cozy squinted at the package in confusion. “Something wrong?” Paradise asked innocently. Looking up at her suspiciously, Cozy pointed at the package and said, “The ribbons go all the way around.” Absolutely clueless, Paradise said, “So?” “So how am I supposed to open it!” Cozy retorted in aggravation, “Is this a joke? You give me a present that’s tied up with ribbons, and I’m supposed to laugh at that?” “No, no joke,” Paradise said, her face falling with concern, “Pull the bow and the ribbon should come off. It’s a pretty neat trick for wrapping packages. See where the end is sticking out there?” Cozy did, and when she bit down on that end, she found that the whole bow was a slip knot. Pulling it out made the ribbon and bow just fall loosely off the package. “Oh,” Cozy said sheepishly, clearing the ribbons away, “That is pretty clever.” “Isn’t it?” Paradise replied happily again, “I’ll teach you how to do it after this, but you still have the wrapping paper to go!” Cozy looked at the box again, and carefully turned it on its side. There was no lid, no more ribbon to undo. The delicate edge to the paper on the bottom was completely taped shut, along with both sides, and the rest of it was nothing but seamless, unbroken paper. Cozy wanted to cry. “I... I don’t know how to open it,” Cozy said unhappily. “What do you mean?” Paradise said in total confusion, “You just take off the wrapping paper, right?” Cozy tried fiddling with the tape, but the colorful paper was so fragile it started tearing under her hoof, so trying not to scream in frustration she said, “I don’t know how! It keeps tearing!” “...so?” Paradise asked, still cluelessly. “So I can’t open it,” Cozy told Paradise, as if to a total simpleton, pushing the present firmly away with a hoof. “There’s no lid, no seams. It doesn’t pull apart. You just wrapped paper all around it, and the paper is taped shut so I can’t open it, without tearing it!” Why was Paradise staring at Cozy in horror?! “Y-you are supposed to tear the paper,” Paradise said weakly, gesturing towards the package, “We—we buy new paper every year. It’s just a... a temporary decoration.” “Well that’s dumb,” Cozy said defensively, folding her forelegs and frowning with disapproval, trying to act like her reaction was normal, “The paper is so pretty! And you just throw it away?” “You can... try to save it if you want,” Paradise said uneasily, “If you take a pinion and—” “I don’t want to save it,” Cozy fussed, “I thought you did!” “Look, that... paper is very pretty,” Paradise admitted cautiously, “But it’s made very thin so it can be torn easily, and that means there isn’t much of it on there. Less than the cost of a single apple, I bet. They have these big rolls of the stuff for around ten bits, and I only used a little piece of it. Don’t you enjoy destroying things? Just go all out!” Cozy might have enjoyed it, if she wasn’t totally sure that this was just another test, to see if she was reformed or not. So Cozy didn’t just destroy it. She carefully nibbled off a strip of paper all around. Then gripping the corner in her mouth, while gripping the unwrapped side of the box in her hind leg, she could slide the rest of the present out from its fragile papery sheath without any more tearing. “There, all un...presented,” Cozy said firmly, getting to her hooves again to glare defiantly at Paradise. “Unwrapped,” Paradise corrected faintly, “S-so do you like it?” Oh, right! There was a present in there! Cozy turned to look at it curiously, and on the box there was the drawing of a wine bottle full of clouds, with some happy ponies waving at it, labeled “Cloud in a Bottle Kit.” Whatever ‘kit’ meant. “See, it’s nothing incredible,” Paradise said sheepishly, “You just showed some interest in how they were made, when we went window shopping in Cloudsdale, and it’s actually something a lot of pegasi enjoy doing as a hobby, so I got you a kit, so you can make your own cloud in a bottle, and see how it works.” So that was what ‘kit’ meant. Paradise had remembered... Cozy gazed distantly at her present, and said, “It’s really mmmmMMMM” Whatever Cozy was going to say ended right then and there. She just suddenly started melting down in the middle of her sentence; she went from okay to bawling like an idiot just instantly! Paradise tackled her and pushed the present away with a wing before Cozy could do anything to destroy it. Cozy hated her! Holding the struggling Cozy and staring her nose to nose, Paradise declared, “It’s okay, Cozy. Just focus on me. Focus on where you are. You don’t have to get angry and you don’t have to cry. Just stay with me, Cozy.” Cozy couldn’t! She tried to say something, but Paradise spared her even more humiliation by interrupting saying desperately, “No, don’t talk! Just sit here, thinking about this room. Don’t do anything, or say anything, just sit here thinking about how boring this place is. Stare at the wall Cozy, take a deep breath, and just breathe slowly.” Not letting her go, Paradise held Cozy to her chest, the both of them facing the wall. Cozy tried to breathe but her breath was shaky because it was trying to force her to cry again, and she didn’t want to cry! But every time it welled up in her, Paradise said something stupid, like “That wall sure looks boring, huh?” And eventually Cozy just couldn’t... keep crying. They did a whole lot of nothing, until the urge just... died away, and she was just sitting there in shock. “Do you think there’s any paint under the wallpaper?” Paradise remarked casually, “I always wonder if they paint under there or not.” Cozy didn’t know either. She never put up wallpaper before, though she probably could have found out how. And she was sitting there in a daze half surrounded by Paradise, as the older pegasus told her, “Okay just let yourself relax now. You’re here right now, and there is nothing happening. You don’t need to do anything. We’re just sitting here, not doing anything.” Eventually Cozy moved to sitting on her own, on her favorite bean bag again, and she felt normal. “It’s so weird how the research said I’m in an altered state of mind right now,” Cozy said neutrally, “All that heightened sensitivity stuff for hours, even after the emotion’s gone in minutes. I don’t feel like I’d get upset easily.” “Let’s go on a fly, for the rest of the session,” Paradise suggested, the redheaded pegasus still on the floor where Cozy had retreated from her, “That should help get you back to normal, hormonally at least. And it’s okay if you do get upset. Just uh... try to get yourself out of the situation, and find a nurse.” “So they can sedate me?” Cozy said resentfully. “We’re really trying not to do that more than once a week,” Paradise said with a wince. Cozy Glow didn’t get any presents for Hearth’s Warming, but she did get a note left on her shelf that said, “Keeping it safe until you’re ready for it.” And that was about as good as she could have expected. Winter Wrapup concluded on time, Spring was on the cusp of awakening, and Rarity was in a pleasant mood. The white unicorn had made her way effortlessly to Starlight’s asylum, where she and the filly had had the most delightful conversation. Relatively, at least. Cozy Glow still watched Rarity in constant suspicion, though she tried not to show it. And for all Rarity’s proud advancement in her magical ability, it was frustratingly difficult to hold back from sharing it with the filly, who truly did seem to despise magic itself. Rarity’s talents lay far outside that of the arcane though, so she was gratified when fixing up the filly’s lusciously curly mane. Then, the little miss Cozy Glow had a tad too politely asked, “Why do you think beauty is on the inside, Miss Rarity?” “Oh well,” Rarity said somewhat taken aback as she paused in her hoof-brushing of Cozy’s mane, “What I mean by that is you can be the prettiest pony in Equestria, and ponies will still despise you if you don’t treat them with dignity and respect.” “That’s not true though,” Cozy Glow said a little accusingly, “Lots of ponies don’t treat anypony with dignity and respect, and everypony still loves them.” “They’ll reap what they’ve sown in the end,” Rarity said confidently, going back to brushing Cozy’s mane. “Are you sure?” Cozy asked, “Because I was reading in a magazine about how the Flim Flam Amusement Resort were adding a new pool slide, and I thought they were—” “And they funded it completely legitimately,” Rarity replied tersely, “I’ve made sure of that. Cozy, they may not be the most... pleasant ponies...” “But everypony loves them,” Cozy insisted, “The article said they have the biggest resort in Las Pegasus now, and how could they get that if everypony hated them?” “It’s... complicated,” Rarity stated through clenched teeth, “Ponies trying to do bad things don’t immediately or always fail, but they are held in check by a very powerful force of good in Equestria.” “What power is that?” Cozy asked hopefully. “Friendship, darling,” Rarity replied with a smile, “Good friends can band together and suss out any wrongdoing. If the brothers try any funny business, they can’t fool all of the ponies all of the time, and it only takes one pony to tell a friend, who tells a friend, for any deception to be exposed.” “But couldn’t friends band together to make wrongdoing happen?” Cozy countered, “They just lie to their friends, who lie to their friends, and everypony ends up loving them. I know that’s wrong and I would never do anything like that, but... could a bad pony do so?” Rarity had to think on that, until she was smoothing out Cozy’s turquoise tail, whereupon she said, “Would you want to be friends with a pony who lied to their friends?” “Well, maybe, if I knew they would do it,” Cozy said conservatively, “Then I don’t see what harm it would do to me.” “Could you catch them at every turn?” Rarity persisted, “Every scheme of theirs you foiled, followed by another scheme against you? Would you never make a mistake, and having made it, get fooled? Even if you could, wouldn’t it be exhausting to do so, to know that your friends will betray you the moment you let down your guard?” Cozy’s wings almost opened at that, curiously enough. And in response, the filly said, “How do you know when somepony won’t betray you like that?” Pondering the question, Rarity ended up replying, “When betraying you is more trouble than its worth, darling. Friends help each other, open up to each other, expose their worries, fears and desires to each other! I’m not saying there is a scoreboard that tells you how much you would lose from betraying a friend, but that’s part of what friendship is: being willing to open up to others, and tell them how you feel, so that betraying them becomes... harder, and hurts more.” “It sure seems silly to let ponies have power over you just so you can be friends,” Cozy said with a calculated giggle. “That may be,” Rarity said cautiously, “But if you have power over each other, mutually, then you can rely on each other, and accomplish more than you would alone. I certainly don’t befriend every pony who walks into my boutique, but the friendships I cultivate are more precious to me than anything, because I would lose so much if they were destroyed, and because I gain so much from their presence. If you can find friends like that, Cozy. Real friends who open their hearts to you, and make you a part of their life, then no enemy of friendship will be able to stop you.” Finishing fastening Cozy’s white flower ribbon, Rarity added with some self satisfaction, “Not even if they own a whole Amusement Resort.” “Not even if they own a whole city?” Cozy asked. “Not even if they own a whole city,” Rarity said confidently, “Do be careful of their friendships though. If you become their enemy, then you become the enemy of their friends, and all it takes for you to lose everything is one of them. Like say, perhaps a light green colt, who happened to have spotted a certain filly leaving her office...” “And he warns all his friends and...” Cozy trailed off into silence. “Friendship isn’t always Rainbow Lasers, Cozy,” Rarity said, considering whether to work a ribbon into her tail, “Sometimes the greatest magic in Equestria is the power of ponies to trust each other, to warn each other, to band together and succeed where nopony could have done it alone.” Cozy had little to say to deny that. Rarity was indeed pleased with the effect that little talk had on the filly, who clearly had a lot to think about. She hadn’t even shouted at Rarity or implied horrible things about Rarity’s parents this time. It really did seem like Cozy Glow was becoming more... pleasant, at least. Only Starlight Glimmer knew how much the filly was really getting better though. Or whoever that new therapist of Cozy’s was. Rarity couldn’t recall her name. With a practiced ease, Rarity winked out, travelling all across Ponyville in the blink of an instant, without getting a hair out of place. Winking in before her boutique, she reflected on how it was so much easier to be where she wanted to be quickly, now that she’d figured out Twilight’s little teleportation trick. Twilight was so modest about admitting her role in their ground breaking design, but between the princess setting a good example, and those teleportation stations of hers, that it seemed more ponies were learning to teleport themselves every day. Rarity honestly wondered how it was possible. Twilight had been so convinced that teleporting was a rare, and difficult to accomplish feat, but to Rarity it was a spell that practically cast itself. She suspected Twilight may have been referring to a more primitive form of the spell, because for all of Twilight’s praise, Rarity knew she wasn’t the most powerful among unicorns. She pondered this in her inspiration room, contemplating how to incorporate the ease of winking into some form of clothing design. Something about vanishing in one place, and unvanishing in another. Unvanishing? De-teleporting? What in Equestria would you call the process of winking in? “Rarity!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed in excitement, appearing before her sister in a puff of logic. “Guess what?!” “Did you just wink??” Rarity exclaimed, staring at her candy white sister in astonishment. “I just winked!” Sweetie Belle said proudly, the little unicorn holding a beaming smile on her face. “It was easy as pie!” “But dear, don’t you still have trouble levitating things which are not brooms?” Rarity asked dazedly. “Y-yeah,” Sweetie said, ears going down a little. They popped right back up though, as she said, “But I’m way better at winking. Watch!” Sweetie’s horn crudely flickered into a glow, then with a slight flash, she vanished. Rarity could faintly hear her muffled voice outside squeaking, “Come to the window, Rarity!” After Sweetie Belle had consumed enough praise to leave Rarity a moment to herself again, Rarity’s pleasant mood had faded. She glared at her poorly placed scraps of fabric, saying, “I am going to have a word with Twilight for praising me, if winking is easier than simple levitation.” As it turned out though, no, Rarity was not. “Twilight?” Rarity asked with worry, pushing open the door and looking around as she strode into Friendship Castle. “Hello, Twilight?” she asked, her voice echoing through the quiet corridors. Though she would never admit it to Twilight, Rarity found this castle simply dreadful at times. It had dozens of empty rooms, long hallways devoid of any warmth or grace, and it simply was not the place for a single pony to live. They had tried to accomodate the castle’s strange appearance, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, but it was quite challenging. Some of the rooms were in use by various town organizations, such as the Ponyville PD, but a small farming town had little need for a castle. At the heart of Equestria, they were the last place that would be laid siege. It had tastefully included a library when it... er... grew, but again it was a library for a dozen librarians, for a big glamorous city where thousands of ponies came to the library to learn. Twilight and Spike were very good at keeping it organized, but there was still so much to do. “Yoo hoo! Twilight?” Rarity called out into the crystal halls, “I’m afraid you may have missed our little rendezvous for dinner this evening! I didn’t see you at the restaurant! Is everything okay?” Poking her head in the central meeting room, Rarity said, “Twilight?” but there was nopony there, not in any of their cutie mark themed seats, nor performing scholarly feats upon the table that held the cutie map. Thinking more smartly, Rarity headed for the library instead, a library that so few townsponies frequented because who would think to walk into a huge imposing crystal castle just to check out a few books? “Hello? Twilight?” Rarity asked, her voice echoing less once she was surrounded by the comforting presence of books in crystal and wooden bookshelves. “Rarity!” a young voice answered from deeper within, and Rarity’s ears perked happily at it. “Spike!” Rarity declared, hurrying back to where the little dragonling was trotting up to her in that odd sort of two-legged gait he used. “Boy, am I glad to see you Rarity,” Spike said with a relieved smile, giving her a warmly affectionate hug. “Twilight’s been gone all day.” “All day?” Rarity asked in surprise, “Where has she gone?” “She teleported to Canterlot!” Spike replied with a crossing of his arms that Rarity was fairly sure was intended to mean he was feeling upset with Twilight right now. “She said she’d be right back but she had to speak with the princesses about something. And you know how she can be.” With a subtle lash of her tail, Rarity declared flatly, “So her hour in Canterlot became all day, once she’d buried her nose in whatever book she ran across over there.” “I sent Princess Celestia a message, asking what the holdup was,” Spike said smartly, “But they haven’t replied yet. So I guess it’s pretty important, whatever they’re doing over there.” “Strange though,” Rarity said thoughtfully, “She didn’t inform me she was cancelling our dinner rendezvous at the Daisy and Daffodil. Was she in a terrible hurry when she left?” “Didn’t seem like it to me,” Spike replied, scratching his head with a claw, which meant he was confused, Rarity fairly sure. “She was working on her research into that whole Grogar thing, and there was something she needed that wasn’t in any of the books she had. She seemed kind of grumpy about it, honestly, having to go to Canterlot to find out whatever it was. I really didn’t think she was going to be gone long, since she can, y’know, teleport all the way from Canterlot super fast, so I didn’t ask for any details... sorry.” “No need to apologize, Spike,” Rarity said graciously, laying a hoof on the front of the little dragon’s barrel, though it seemed more like his chest than his shoulders, “It was very rude of her to leave on such short notice, and not pop back in to at least let you know of her unavailability. When she gets back, I will have a word with her in more than one way.” Taking her hoof back to stand on again, Rarity concluded, “Now when did she leave, and how long have you been waiting?” Spike’s catlike pupils widened expressively, as he said, “That’s just it, Rarity. She left right after breakfast. She’s been gone all day! I’m really starting to get worried about her!” Looking at Spike seriously, Rarity said, “You don’t think something happened to her in Canterlot, do you?” “I don’t know!” he retorted in distress, “I’ve been waiting for her, but... I don’t know what else to do!” “Well I don’t know what to do either,” Rarity said in a disaffected frustration, “I can barely teleport across town, much less all the way to Canterlot! If Twilight is truly... shall we say, ‘missing’ then perhaps we need to gather the Elements. I’m sure Applejack will have some idea of what to do.” “What about Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie?” Spike asked in momentary confusion, before his eyes dawned in realization, “...oh yeah.” The particular dynamics of their group aside, Rarity was fairly sure they’d be able to figure something out among the five of them. At the very least, it would make Twilight feel that much guiltier when she realized what a scare she gave all of her friends. Wouldn’t you know it had to be the case that Applejack was off in her home living a completely stress free life, no worries about classes or fancy magical shenanigans or weird claw hooved griffonlike creatures. Of course she was settled down with her normal, average, everyday earth pony family, having a down-home home-cooked meal that she and Granny had prepared herself. Of course they were all getting ready to chow down on the delectable apple scented goodies, when Rainbow Dash started hammering on the door. “Applejack!” the pale blue pegasus could be heard faintly calling through the door of sturdy oak. Sounds like Friendship business,” Applejack grumbled, tipping back her hat and tossing in the apple pastry, the bowl of apple dumplings, the apple and the potato. Apple Bloom looked at her big sis with them doe eyes, even though the filly was just as concerned as the other two at the table, which is to say not much concerned. Big sister always came back better than ever, and Applejack intended to keep it that way. With her meal safely Stowed, Applejack tipped her hat at them with an easy smile, saying, “Sorry to run. Ah’ll be back in two shakes of a jiffy.” “Just go to yer friend!” Granny chided her, “Else Rainbow Dash is gonna hurt her hoof with all that knocking!” Applejack opened the door to see her friend there in the early evening light. “This better be important, Rainbow Dash!” she fussed at the rainbow pegasus, “Ah was just settin down to eat supper!” Twilight’s gone missing!” Rainbow Dash declared at Applejack in alarm, the rainbow pegasus wide-eyed and flustered, hovering anxiously with a long late-afternoon shadow. “You serious?” Applejack asked in stark surprise, “Where’d you see her last?” “Spike saw her this morning,” Dash said, “She teleported to Canterlot for some reason!” “That hardly sounds unusual,” Applejack said a little enviously, “She winks halfway across Equestria to get herself a new book.” “Yeah, I guess,” Rainbow Dash said uncertainly, “She and Rarity were supposed to meet for dinner though, and Twilight’s been gone all day. The princesses don’t know where she is either, at least, they haven’t written back yet, using Spike’s freaky weird dragon fire mailing thing.” “Let’s just get down there,” Applejack said in resignation, “Might have to beat some sense into everypony before we all start panickin’ over nothing.” That’s what I was coming here for,” Rainbow Dash remarked looking pleased with herself, “We’re all meeting at her castle to try and find out where she went.” “Ah’m sure she left a note,” Applejack said with conviction, “It probably just fell off behind something or another.” “Well, c’mon,” Dash said impatiently, “Sooner we find her, the sooner we can all eat our dinner.” “She disappeared!” a little dragon said in alarm to Applejack and the others. They gathered in the center room with all the hard chairs, somewhere for everypony to sit, and one dragon, but of course Twilight’s throne was empty. “Twilight disappears every day,” Applejack countered stolidly, “She once winked in and out like five times in as many minutes talkin’ to me, though she said that one was more of a blink than a wink whatever that means. Mah question is why hasn’t she come back?” “Spike has sent several letters to Canterlot, asking where she might have gone,” Rarity said, looking pale with worry. Or just pale. “Nopony has replied!” “Do you think something has happened in Canterlot?” Fluttershy asked fearfully. “I don’t see what’s not clear here,” Rainbow Dash said testily, “We go to Canterlot. Canterlot’s in trouble. We save the day!” “I’m still hoping that this is all a misunderstanding,” Rarity said glumly, “It’s not like Twilight to be this... irregular. Perhaps she’s held up by... something that isn’t an emergency.” “Let’s wait’ll tomorrow,” Applejack suggested, “If she’s not back by then, then we can start makin’ plans to take a little train ride up to Canterlot.” “Oh oh we should use those new teleportation stations!” Pinkie declared excitedly, “I bet even Rarity could use one of those!” “What do you mean even Rarity?” Rarity asked dangerously. “With all due respect, Pinkie, have you ever actually used one of them teleportation stations?” Applejack asked with a queasy wince. “Uh huh,” Pinkie said easily, “It’s super fun. It turns everything inside out and backwards and you can’t feel the earth anymore or even yourself and then suddenly bam you’re exploding into place where you want to be except you’re super confused because you still feel like you’re where you used to be, and then the weight returns to your legs and head and stomach flip flops like a party inside you and then you...” Pinkie trailed off, eyeing Applejack worriedly as Applejack was glad she hadn’t had dinner yet. “Maaaaybe we should take the train,” Pinkie cautiously, “I think winking’s an acquired taste.” “It’s more natural for unicorns, I feel,” Rarity said amiably, “I haven’t the slightest idea what it feels like to ‘feel like you are somewhere.’ Where else would you be, other than where you are?” “Well I haven’t tried teleport stations, but I don’t really need to,” Rainbow Dash said proudly, “I can fly to Canterlot in two shakes of a tail!” “Pegasi have always been the ones travelling the most, until this new teleportation that has been happening,” Fluttershy said, looking at her wings, “I think I would rather... fly anywhere, if it’s somewhere I needed to go. But most of all,” she looked at Applejack fondly, “I’d want to travel together with my friends.” “Sorry to be holdin you back,” Applejack said, ducking her hat to cover the blush, “Maybe y’all cain go and ah’ll just pull up the rear.” “Oh that’d end well,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes, “Let’s split up and all go to this totally dangerous thing that’s happening in Canterlot. And as soon as I get there, the bad guys jump me, and boy I sure wish the rest of my friends were here!” Applejack peeked out from under her hat at Rainbow Dash, saying unappreciatively, “We ain’t the Elements of Harmony without Twilight here y’know.” “We’re still friends,” Rainbow Dash insisted, “We can help each other out. I’m totally taking the train, because I don’t want that... inside out... thing that Pinkie said, and it’ll only take a few extra hours.” “We’ve already waited all day, with Twilight missing,” Fluttershy pointed out, “And we’d be waiting longer until the morning. I thought we still weren’t sure that anything was wrong?” “Well alrighty then,” Applejack shrugged, “Anypony opposed to taking a train to Canterlot first thing in the morning?” “After sunrise,” Pinkie specified, with an uneasy look Rainbow Dash’s way. “Right, right after sunrise,” Applejack clarified, “Ah didn’t mean at the stroke o’ midnight. How’s an hour past dawn sound?” There were mutters of agreement all around. “Then it’s settled!” Applejack said in relief, “Now cain we all please get off to eatin’ our respective dinners already?” “I’m afraid not, Applejack,” Rarity said in utmost sadness. At Applejack’s look of alarm, Rarity opened one eye and added in amusement, “My dinner date with Twilight was canceled. The rest of you can return to your respective dinners, but alas I shall be dinnerless!” “You... wanna eat Twilight’s dinner?” Spike asked in sheepish hope, “I started putting something together in case she came back, but she didn’t.” “That’s very generous of you, Spike!” Rarity said with a smile, “And I hardly think Twilight would object, considering this is her responsibility in the first place.” “Great!” the little dragon said, brightening with exuberance, “I’ll go start warming things up!” The five ponies and a dragon dispersed then, heading to their respective dinners. The night proceeded as normal, and all was well the next day for them to take the train. So to Canterlot they went, hoping for the best, and fearing the worst. “What?” Starlight Glimmer said in disbelief. “I just wanted to know...” Sea Swirl said uncertainly, so sure that this was a stupid idea, but what did she have to lose? “If you... liked... flying kites.” “Who told you that?” Starlight asked with an odd interest. “Oh, n-nopony special, you know, just...” Sea Swirl said, her mind racing trying to figure out how to keep the doctor from knowing, “It was Cozy Glow, wasn’t it,” Starlight said flatly. “Maybe!” Sea Swirl said resentfully, “Maybe I just thought of it on my own, because I can totally do that. I think about other ponies all the time!” “No, it’s great that you do!” Starlight assured her, “I was just really surprised, and well... Cozy Glow has been a busy little beaver around here, hasn’t she?” “She uh... I guess,” Sea Swirl said dismissively, “I was talking about what I think of other ponies, not her. So do you fly kites? I’m... uh... really... curious. I guess.” Sea Swirl wished she could put more heart into it, but she was hurting so much, and Starlight never even understood one smidgen of what Sea Swirl had gone through. This famous equestrian hero standing here mocking her with her mere existence, and she thought Sea Swirl had any obligation to care about her? “Yes, I do like flying kites,” Starlight replied judiciously, and then she said, “Thank you for thinking of me.” For some reason Sea Swirl wanted to cry at that. “I didn’t...” she said in disgust, “I didn’t really... I was just saying it because I wanted you to think I was... I mean it’s just something to say, right?” “Sure it is something to say,” Starlight said cautiously, “But you had to think of me to say it, didn’t you? You had to remember that I liked kites all this time. You don’t have to care about me, but you did think of me.” “I... yes, technically, I guess,” Sea Swirl said in great dissatisfaction. “Well thank you for thinking of me,” Starlight concluded insistently, with a warm smile, “You did a good job.” “No I... I just... I didn’t,” Sea Swirl wiped at her eyes with a foreleg, wishing she could feel that box of tissues right over there, even though she couldn’t because everything was terrible. “I was just saying it so...” How could she be just spilling the secret to the head honcho of this awful asylum? Sea Swirl couldn’t tell her what she and Cozy were planning! In desperate bitterness, Sea Swirl tried to explain without explaining saying, “I didn’t, and I failed, and they wouldn’t even look at me and—” There was a tissue floating in front of her face. “I miss my magic,” Sea Swirl told it, tears brimming in her eyes. The tissue responded by allowing her to blow her nose on it. “If we took off your horn limiter, do you think you would hurt yourself again?” Starlight asked with understandable concern. “No, I...” Sea Swirl took the next offered tissue in her foreleg, to at least control that, “...m-maybe.” “We’ll take it off when you’re ready,” Starlight’s calm voice insisted, “I just need you to think about the good job you did, because you asked me about something I like.” Sea Swirl just wiped at her eyes trying not to just start blubbering again like an idiot in front of her counselor. She... felt a... resentment towards Starlight, as she glared at the pony so unmoved by her, yet so impressed by stupid, insignificant things. “It’s just a kite!” Sea Swirl griped at her, “Nopony gets famous over just a stupid kite.” “It might not be much,” Starlight replied with a sympathetic grimace, “But it doesn’t really have to be. You can make everypony love you later. For now, just... think of me, and... think of your friend, Cozy Glow. Do you think she would appreciate it if you thanked her for coming up with this silly little conversation we’ve had about kites?” Sea Swirl started to say yes, but then frowned, thinking of the filly and her... strange moodiness. “I don’t know,” Sea Swirl said thoughtfully, probably more thoughtfully about anypony than she ever had before.