Would Be Psychoanalyzer
When a weary purple and pink unicorn came to Twilight Sparkle’s office for a little private conversation over tea, Twilight was more than delighted to entertain her. Starlight had missed these weekly tea parties for the last three weeks after all. So with a “BUSY” sign on the door to the school headmare’s office, Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer chatted over tea.
Unsurprisingly, the conversation soon turned towards Cozy Glow and her mysterious skull.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to let her keep it?” Twilight asked incredulously.
“I’m not taking it away from her, Twilight,” Starlight said flatly, setting down her teacup.
“Why not?” Twilight asked, “You’re going to just let a filly sleep with a skull? ”
Starlight gave Twilight a conflicted expression, before hanging her head and saying, “I’m starting to see why you put Cozy Glow in Tartarus.”
Frowning self-consciously, Twilight protested, “It’s not healthy for a child to become fixated on a skull. There’s nothing unreasonable about that!”
Instead of contesting that, Starlight said, “Yes, and the fact remains that she is fixated on it. Until we give her more sustainable coping methods, I’m afraid that’ll have to do. She thanked me for it, Twilight. That was the first actual empathy I’d ever seen from her.”
“Having empathy for a skull isn’t—”
“No, she thanked me, Twilight,” Starlight interrupted.
Twilight paused at that to think. Sipping at her tea, she said, “She really was a different pony last year. I thought I knew her.”
“It might have been the first time where Cozy Glow has thought about the well-being of somepony other than herself,” Starlight said hopefully, “All that gratitude she showed last year was just an act. But now that her true colors have shown through... she’s finding reasons to be genuinely thankful. Do you know she thanked Nurse Sweetheart the other day?
“Nurse Sweetheart?” Twilight prompted curiously.
“She’s the assisted care nurse who’s been helping corral some of the patients,” Starlight said, “She almost quit the other day because Cozy thanked her... that’s how powerful it was. Cozy had... lost control, and was hurting herself and needed to be sedated. And I think the filly recognized that.”
“How so?” Twilight asked, “Cozy thanked the nurse for sedating her? That seems... odd.”
“The nurse gave her a stress doll,” Starlight clarified, “You know, something to attack to get the anger out of your system and the uh... sedative into your system. Cozy was so mad she tore its head off.”
A pause, and Twilight asked flatly, “You mean that literally, don’t you?”
“Yes...” Starlight said pensively, “And I will say that it... hurts to get angry, so angry you think you’re going to do something you regret. And Sweetheart just... diffused that in the span of five minutes. Cozy wasn’t thanking the nurse for sedating her. She was thanking the nurse for understanding her, giving her what she needed and... saving her from having to cry.”
“I really can’t even imagine what would make somepony so averse to crying,” Twilight said, shaking her head as she sipped at her tea.
“Losing the most important pony in the world to you,” Starlight said somberly, “Left all alone to deal with her grief at such a young age, with no closure. She didn’t give up. O-other foals would have given up and died after what Cozy went through. I’m surprised she doesn’t ever do anything but cry, and... maybe that’s the point.”
“You... found out what happened to her?” Twilight asked hopefully.
Shaking her head, Starlight says, “Only that it had to be more than a foal could bear. Cozy once told me that things will never be okay, and I think she’s convinced of that, that the only thing she can do to survive is to hide her broken nature. Cozy just wants things to be okay again, but she thinks they can’t, so the closest she thinks she can ever come to happiness is... to pretend she’s the kind of pony who doesn’t care when horrible things happen.”
“...like ponies dropping out of the clouds,” Twilight said softly.
Starlight sipped at her tea.
“How are you doing, Starlight?” Twilight asked with concern, “Having to listen to Cozy’s troubles, it really seems to be hitting you hard.”
“You’re not wrong,” Starlight sighed gloomily, “I don’t know how I can help her if I can’t deal with my own issues. I hated the pony I used to be, even when I was. Cozy’s there right now: hating who she is, but feeling like she has no choice. If Sunburst had... had died somehow. If I only got to reunite with his skull...”
Twilight sipped at her tea.
“Cozy Glow needs professional help,” Starlight said in frustration, “Not some... half broken emotional cripple who is starting to feel like Cozy’s right and nopony could ever get better from what happened to her. I need to find her a pony who can sympathize with her, without empathizing with her. It’s just hard to find good ponies with the time and funding we have.”
“I’m fairly sure I could fast track that funding,” Twilight said cagily, “Since the lives of more foals are potentially at stake.”
“That might get the police involved though,” Starlight replied uneasily, “And I don’t want them breaking in and acting like they own the place. Our patients already think the asylum is a prison.”
“Still, you’re up to a dozen inpatients by now, aren’t you?” Twilight asked hopefully.
Starlight nodded, saying, “The one you brought in was number 13. She definitely seems to have pathological sociopathy.”
“What I don’t understand is why she came to me,” Twilight said glumly, “I thought she was just somepony’s lost filly, but she’s as mysterious as Cozy Glow. Probably from the same place, considering what she did.”
Shaking her head, Starlight Glimmer said, “And thei weirdest thing about her is how she insists that she is... what was that word again?”
“A yewman being,” Twilight confirmed, “It’s some kind of ape creature according to her, but I don’t know any species of ape called yewmans.”
“Nevertheless, she is really... messed up,” Starlight said, “Sort of the same way Cozy Glow is, and... a few others. I’ve been thinking about trying a little group therapy there, just to reduce my workload.”
“I seriously do not envy you,” Twilight Sparkle said, with a bemused laugh, “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to take care of anypony like that.”
“She’s not as bad as she was with you,” Starlight mused, “She was more of a danger to herself than others, and we have her on close watch.”
“Still...” Twilight said uneasily, “How are you doing? Are you really okay with doing this?”
“I’m more concerned about them than me,” Starlight said, shoulders sinking, “I’m working twelve hour days to get this done, but there’s still not enough time to get them all out of their rooms and talking to me. Some of them are isolated for long periods of time, and that’s not healthy for anypony.”
“12 hours?!” Twilight exclaimed wide-eyed, “Nopony works that long! Starlight, you’re going to hurt yourself!”
“I have some candidates!” Starlight protested weakly, “Some pretty promising ones in fact. If we have about... one counselor per four patients, that’s what I’m aiming for. It’s still a slow process though, even if I had the funding.”
“Well, good luck with that, and if there’s anything I can do...” Twilight said unhappily.
Smiling at her gratefully, Starlight replied, “Oh don’t worry, princess. You’re already helping just by being there for me. Honestly that’s why the skull is helping Cozy too. It can’t get her funding, but if she knows it’ll always be there when she comes back... n-not that I’m comparing you to a skull or anything.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Twilight drawled with a roll of her eyes, sighing and adding wistfully, “If only we knew who that skull really was.”
“Yeah, if only... heh heh!” Starlight replied with a leery smile.
“They made me cry in therapy again.”
Cozy Glow curled around her skull, sitting in her room all alone, remarking, “I tried not to. I don’t know why they keep making me sad. I’m not sad, a-and I’m not angry! Why should I be? Nothing bad happened to me. It just seems bad because ponies don’t understand I don’t know why I keep getting angry. I don’t care about this stuff. I don’t care about what happened. I don’t care about you, or... or anything, but power. That’s all that matters.”
The lights went out, but Cozy wanted to keep talking, so she said, “My wings are almost better again. It sure took a long time! Especially the pinions that I didn’t pull out. I’m making sure my wings are clean and oiled and all the feathers are straight, and I managed to hover today! Betcha in a week I’ll be flying around just like I used to: your little a-a-ang—”
Cozy swallowed her feelings and taking care not to disturb the skull, she started kicking the indentation in wall until her hoof hurt. It was her bad leg, so it didn’t take long. “Sorry about that. I just get a little silly sometime,” Cozy said wryly, pulling her blankets over them both, “I’ll show them all someday just how I really feel.”
Starlight Glimmer turned away from that particular security monitor. They had a security guard now, but the police mare Twilight had provided was off her shift, mostly because that gave Starlight an excuse to listen in on Cozy Glow’s little private conversations before bed. Doubt sunk in Starlight’s gut as the filly quieted down though, because even though she was just trying to help Cozy Glow and learn more about her, it felt really bad to do this.
Starlight didn’t know what to do. Every time she thought about telling the filly she was being monitored, it was too tempting to wait just one more night. She couldn’t get Cozy Glow to admit who the skull was in her sessions, and she knew it wasn’t helping the filly one bit to keep covering up the truth like that. Starlight could either tell Cozy she knew the truth and help the filly lie, or Starlight could... not tell the truth. Starlight knew she’d let it slip eventually, that she was listening in on the filly, but she just... couldn’t get Cozy Glow to open up any other way.
One thing was for sure, Starlight was going to move heaven and earth to make sure that nopony could take that skull away from Cozy Glow. She only hoped that was not somehow all part of Cozy Glow’s plan.
Cozy Glow had no idea what she was doing. There was an exercise yard that Cozy was allowed, even expected to go out to, with supervision. She’d never been watched this much in her life, and she didn’t like it very much. But she got to run around in relative freedom in here. Plus the ponies here were crazy, and because they were crazy they didn’t make sense, and because they didn’t make sense, it was... thrilling.
So that’s why she wasn’t exercising her wings and trying to stay in the air for longer periods of time. She was pinned between two ponies, as they careened about on roller skates, blinded by a convenient towel emergency, only saved from crashing into the side of the building or the walls of the exercise yard by Cozy Glow’s frantic shouting of “Left! No your other left! Right! Jump!”
The schizophrenics were Cozy Glow’s favorite, at least so far. The pink mare and that cream colored stallion with an equally pink mane, they were just so much fun, even if they weren’t much else. When they weren’t talking about anything and nothing at all, they were having wild hallucinations, or something equally peculiar. And unlike Intern they jumped into it with all four hooves and made up these wonderfully elaborate stories about what happened that were just over the top oddball awesome.
Cozy Glow still wasn’t sure where Screwball had gotten her hooves on a quad of roller skates, which she and the stallion named Trophy Pot (but he wanted them to call him Cracked) were sharing, with four of eight hooves on the ground, their outer two hooves sprung up in the air for balance, and Cozy stuck in between them shouting out commands until they all crashed in a heap.
The nurse caught up to them then, and Cozy Glow stood atop the two semi-conscious ponies, waiting for the nurse to say, “You’re not supposed to have roller skates!”
“Well maybe you should ask the pony who gave them to them,” Cozy protested grumpily, “It was going great until they crashed into that towel rack!”
Cozy had no idea what she was doing, because it defied any notion of purpose. She couldn’t for the life of her think of how provoking the mentally disturbed in order to delight in their antics would accomplish anything, but it was so much fun. Ponies kept saying that she was bad for not having everything planned ahead so it would all work out perfectly every time and never hurt anypony, but Cozy Glow was starting to think that maybe being bad wasn’t always such a bad thing.
Cozy wasn’t sure what the Screwball mare’s deal was, but she really liked the stallion. He was the nicest stallion there, and Cozy really felt like she understood what he was going through. It was the second time she met him, a few weeks before today’s roller skate incident, when Cozy Glow came to that understanding, regardless of the words he barely exchanged. It was one of his less lucid moments in fact, when Cozy barely knew him, but he came bounding up beside her, not to Cozy Glow, but to his friend, the screwy pink mare. All boisterous and excited, he declared to Screwball,
“I just realized! When you go up a creek without a paddle you can’t find the paddle and finding things is how you sleuth out problems like a detective with a magnifying glass and a funny magnifying hat that goes on his head to make sure it doesn’t fall off because he has a skull otherwise his hat would fall off down into the canyon where he was flying which had a river on the bottom swimming in the lagoon you can’t beach a whale if I’m thirsty.”
“Oh no!” the mare declared in horror, “You’re one of them, again!”
She then managed to climb underneath the table entirely, despite her hindquarters almost getting stuck, and seemingly unaware of her plight, he continued to babble something about how the moon being made of cheese led to a snow fort tissue crisis, while the mare, commandingly rather than fearfully stuck her hoof out and declared, “Stay back! I have a hoof and I’m not afraid to use it! You and your heads!”
Cozy Glow was of course sitting right beside the pink mare when this occurred. And she was just going to watch in amusement until a nurse pony came to break them up. The nurse ponies always did that, even though... it really wasn’t clear either of the two lunatics wanted to be separated. Then Cozy noticed something, and against her better judgement, blurted out,
“Wait, you’re a pegasus? I thought you were an earth pony!”
He stopped talking long enough to turn and look at Cozy with confused pink eyes, before replying, “Earth ponies are on the earth which is round like a ball did you know? Throwing it across space like a spaceship I used to have that made noise and lights and the carnival has a ferris wheel that..”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Cozy said frustratedly, shutting the stallion up again, “How are you a pegasus all of a sudden?”
“I have no idea!” he said happily, then he looked back under the table, to talk with the screwball mare again. Or “talk” to her, rather.
“Have at you, you fleend!” the mare eventually declared at the rambling stallion, and leaped forward, tackling him to the ground. Or, she would have if she didn’t get her butt stuck between the bench and the table again. Then, still babbling, he helped pull her out, whereupon she trotted away laughing, and he went and trotted after her.
It was kind of adorable really. Cozy wondered if they were going to make foals together. Then she shuddered at the idea of those two being anypony’s parents. As Cozy Glow watched them head off together, she blinked in surprise again, because the trophy marked pony was once more an earth pony. With the scar cut into his cutie mark, the one across his right eye, and the long scar along his...
The pink and blue filly stiffened, and a cold chill went down her spine. Her wings snapped out. She regarded the diminishing rear of the stallion who was possibly the happiest, most cheerful patient in here. Turning and looking at her food then, Cozy Glow had to calm herself down enough just to fold her wings instead of taking off right then and there. Lost in thought, Cozy Glow... understood what that stallion was going through.
Cozy Glow also had no idea what she was doing when she was reading about something called Algebra, or when she was playing out in the yard, or walking under the trees. It was a lot more fun than trying to plan ahead, but how could she continue having no idea, without making another mistake that turned everypony against her again? How much fun could she have, before something went horribly wrong again?
“Cozy, I said why don’t you go first!”
“Huh?” Cozy said, looking up at Starlight Glimmer, in the circle she sat in with those other ponies. “Me?” Cozy griped, “Why do I have to go first!”
“Because I want to give you a chance to set a good example!” Starlight countered kindly, “Now tell us your name, and why you’re here with us today.”
“My name is Cozy Glow, and I’m not supposed to be here,” Cozy replied snippily, giving an irritated flip to her swirly blue tail for good measure.
Starlight didn’t even blink. “Alright everypony,” she said pleasantly, “Repeat after me one more time. Hi Cozy!”
“Hi Cozy!” the group echoed unenthusiastically.
“My name is Sea Swirl,” the next pony in the circle said, that blue haired pink unicorn Cozy had unfortunately come to know. Drawing herself up smugly, Sea Swirl said, “And I do want to be here. Not like any of you crazy ponies, who don’t even think they have a—”
“Let the others speak, please,” Starlight Glimmer said, idly tapping the riding crop held in one foreleg against the other. She then glanced around, saying, “Well?”
“Hi, Sea Swirl,” the rest of the group chorused dully.
“My name is Fuck You and I don’t even care if I’m here or not,” a green furred pony said, highly fascinating to Cozy Glow because she looked roughly the same age. Cozy had seen her around meal time before, but didn’t know that the counselors here thought they both had the same mental disease! Well, not the same precisely. Cozy Glow was pretty sure that ponies were gathered here in this room for the common malady of being the most annoying awful jerks in the whole asylum. Except her, of course.
That green furred, raven haired filly on the other hoof... it wasn’t that she had no fear of being bad, but she couldn’t shut it off, the way Cozy could, and she didn’t even try. It was obvious the filly had gone through some seriously hornheaded shit before, at any rate. Cozy was still trying to figure out how to approach her, without getting on her bad side though, unless that was the right side to be on with her.
Cozy was so distracted with her thoughts on the other filly, she didn’t hear the other two patients speak. It probably wasn’t important. She did snap her head around in surprise though, at a brightly cheerful voice saying, “My name is Pinkie Pie, and I love making my friends smile!”
Starlight Glimmer was also staring in astonishment at the bright pink earth pony too. “Pinkie Pie!” she declared in irritation, “What are you doing here?!”
“Uh, I dunno,” Pinkie said thoughtfully, “Sitting around in a circle and introducing everypony?”
“Pinkie, you’re not supposed to be here,” Starlight told her in a tired irritation.
“I’m not?” Pinkie Pie asked innocently.
“You’re completely sane,” Starlight insisted patiently.
“I am?” Pinkie Pie asked in what sounded like genuine surprise.
“Pinkie Pie, just... go,” Starlight said, “This asylum is for troubled ponies only. Not that there is anything wrong with being troubled, but you do not need to be here. We’re not here to talk about happy things.”
“Welll...” Pinkie Pie postulated, “...okay!”
Then she went bounding out of the room.
Starlight shut the doors to the group room as Pinkie Pie left, muttering, “How does she keep getting in here?”
“Perhaps Cozy’s right,” that one new arrival said smugly while Starlight’s back was turned. She was a light green furred unicorn mare with long orange hair, who had come to the asylum under very suspicious circumstances last week or so. Cozy wasn’t worried about her, not so far at least, because the mare may have had a serious chip on her shoulder, but she also had pretty weak magic, and a solid black ring on her horn to ensure not even that would be a problem.
“It’s you ponies who should be in here, not one such as myself!”
She was also pretty dumb. Cozy raised an eyebrow at the mare who looked like the smuggest pony to ever admit that she wasn’t a real pony. How was that even close to a witty comeback?
“Stop looking at me like that!” the orange-haired mare said in anxious irritation, looking around at the others in the room, only a few of whom were even paying attention. “I didn’t choose to be like this! You did this to me, you—”
“Give everypony a chance to talk,” Starlight interrupted, pointing her riding crop at the mare’s nose. The mare looked like she was about to explode, but surprisingly just backed down then, sitting on her haunches with a flump, and staring forward with a haunted look in her bright green eyes.
“Now,” Starlight said, returning to her place sitting in the circle, “Sea Swirl, why don’t you tell us—”
“Oh, of course you pick her,” the raven haired green filly groaned. Cozy giggled, despite herself, covering up her mouth with a foreleg.
“Why don’t you tell us how you feel when ponies don’t think you’re famous, Sea Swirl?” Starlight continued patiently, as everypony turned their attention to the least appropriate pony to do so.
“Ponies don’t know greatness when they see it!” the other lavender unicorn declared, standing up, “They’re trying to—”
“I’m not asking about them,” Starlight interrupted patiently, “How do you feel when they do that?”
“Like I’m... not getting what I deserve, because other ponies...” she shrunk back from a glare from Starlight, “Because I... don’t... I hate how other ponies treat me!” Sea Swirl eventually blurted out, “They think I’m crazy! Or they just ignore me!”
“And how do you feel about that?” Starlight repeated.
“I... I hate it!” Sea Swirl also repeated, albeit very uncertainly, “And I just want it to stop! I just...” she sank to her belly again, “...want it to stop.”
“Well that’s—” Starlight started, but Sea Swirl desperately interrupted, saying,
“I don’t know why I’m even here. I’m the most well adjusted pony in this room. Including you, Starlight Glimmer. You don’t respect me at all because you believe those lies about me. But you and I both know that I deserve to be—”
“That’s enough, Sea Swirl,” Starlight interrupted. After what happened last session, it was very understandable why Sea Swirl squeaked so silence and shrank back at Starlight’s words. We do not speak of what happened last session. “How about you, Cozy?” she asked much more gently of Cozy Glow, “How do you feel when ponies make you upset?”
“Upset?” Cozy ventured.
“Yes, upset,” Starlight clarified gently.
“Upset,” Cozy repeated irritably, “They make me feel upset.”
Thinning her lips, Starlight declared, “Maybe that wasn’t the best question. How about what do you think you share in common with the others here?”
“We’re all ponies, through and through!” Cozy said happily, with a glance at the orange and green one, who just narrowed her eyes at the filly.
“I’m not sure Shutterbug here likes being a pony,” Starlight replied thoughtfully, also noticing the bitter mare.
“Why should I like—you preposterous—” the orange and green Shutterbug fumed, then smiled unpleasantly, saying in a syrupy sweet tone, “Why, no. I just love being a pony, just like anypony here, who has always been a pony.”
“I haven’t!” the green filly shouted, before Cozy’s heart could leap in her throat that maybe somehow impossibly this Shutterbug pony knew. The green filly’s loud exclamation was enough to make Cozy Glow looking at her incredulously, along with everypony else in the room. How many ponies here weren’t ponies?
“I’m a red-blooded, pony fucking, tool using yewman being!” the filly declared in something between pride and outrage.
“Not right now you’re not!” Starlight pointed out assertively.
“Is that some kind of ent?” Shutterbug asked in bafflement.
“I eat cows for dinner!” the filly insisted, fiercely.
“And how are you going to eat a cow, little filly?” Shutterbug replied in cold disdain.
“I’m gonna get changed back!” the filly declared, “And then I’m gonna make you eat your fucking words!”
“You should watch your language!” Cozy Glow interrupted teasingly, “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to say bad words?”
“What bad words?” the green filly asked, tilting her head at Cozy in surprisingly honest confusion.
“You know,” Cozy said uncertainly, “The... F-word?”
A pause, and Starlight Glimmer exclaimed, “You know what fuck means??” looking at Cozy in delight.
“No?” Cozy said, glancing around nervously, “Why? Don’t you know what fuck means?”
“No!” Starlight said in excitement, “What does fuck mean? Tell me!”
“You don’t know what fuck means?!” the green filly exclaimed at Starlight in horrified exasperation. “This is just fucking telling!”
“Seriously, Cozy,” Starlight said eagerly, “You have to tell me what fuck means.”
“I don’t know what fuck means!” Cozy denied desperately, “You tell me!”
“You tell me what fuck means?” Sea Swirl asked curiously, “I don’t know.”
“Tell me fuck means what, don’t you know!” Petunia Petals declared cheerfully all the way across Equestria.
“You don’t know means fuck, I tell you what!” Sunny Skies replied affectionately as they platonically cuddled together.
“Fuck what you don’t know!” Pinkie Pie shouted at the fourth wall of the asylum in outrage, “Meanies! I’m telling!”
There was a worried silence, as if nopony wanted to continue along this line of thinking.
“You want me to whisper it into your ear, Glimglam?” the green filly asked slyly.
“It’s ‘Glimmer’ actually,” Starlight replied, “Glim-mer.”
“This is getting us fucking nowhere!” Cozy shouted.
“You still haven’t told me what that word means!” Glimmer shouted back at her.
It was a good session.
Cozy Glow didn’t really like those crazy ponies who were supposedly like her. She hated most of them, in fact. She liked the crazy stallion named Cracked, and a few others, for various reasons.
“Are you gonna eat your pudding, or just stare at it?”
“Huh?” Cozy said, looking up from her pudding in brief incomprehension, before sighting on Morning Glory, who sat beside her at the lunch table in the cafeteria. “Just thinking about things,” Cozy revealed unenthusiastically, “Not much else to do around here.”
The brown mare actually laughed a little at that.
“Y’know, I am really sorry about what I said the other day,” Cozy said in a sincere fashion, “I just didn’t know it was all that bad, the sort of stuff you did for money.”
“Well, it is bad,” Morning said softly, turning away, “Worse than bad.”
“That’s kind of insensitive, you know,” Cozy said in a hurt tone, getting an irritated look from Morning Glory, “I don’t know anything about what you went through, but I’m gonna have to do that stuff too, in just a few years. I know that lots of other mares really like it, but it still makes me scared that I won’t like it, when you say it’s worse than bad.”
“W-well it’s...” Morning said, sounding conflicted as she looked at Cozy again, “They... you’re not going to have to do it for money.”
“So?” Cozy replied impishly, “You like getting money, don’t you?”
“Not for that!” Morning Glory replied in troubled offense.
“Well, why not for that?” Cozy Glow asked curiously, “I really don’t know, sorry.”
A moment’s thought, and Morning Glory said, “That... it’s supposed to be a wonderful, loving act that you do with somepony you love. It just kills you inside, when... when they can do anything they want to you, because you’re just worthless...”
“You sure do know a lot about what is supposed to happen,” Cozy said warily, “And what happened was really bad, but it sounds like you’re sad because you wanted to have something better happen to you.”
“Y-yes...” the mare said, looking on the edge of crying again.
“I’m just a filly, so I don’t know anything about that stuff,” Cozy reiterated chirpily, “If you asked me, I would’ve thought it was supposed to be bad. All that wonderful stuff sounds like an old pony’s tale to me.”
At Morning Glory’s questioning look, Cozy concluded, “Other mares might say it has to be wonderful and loving, but if it’s supposed to be terrible then you you didn’t miss anything!”
Morning Glory’s face progressively twisted up with grief as she said, “I missed—a colt to—to love me and...”
“Wow! You get your cutie mark, and a colt just appears out of nowhere, and says he loves you?” Cozy asked in amazement.
That broke her gloom. “No, I mean,” Morning Glory said grumpily, puzzling over her words, “You still have to find a special somepony, but—”
“Hey! What if you did that now?” Cozy suggested brightly.
“It’s too late—” Morning Glory started, but before she could glance down and turn away, Cozy cut in,
“I envy you, really. You’re allowed to leave the hospital! You can go into town! You couldn’t find a special somepony back then, but it’s not too late now. Who cares if you’re bad or not? Go talk to a stallion you like, and if he doesn’t like you not having a cutie mark, well I guess that’s his problem, huh? You’ve been through so much, I think you can handle a rude stallion or two. Wouldn’t it be so wonderful to find somepony who makes you happy? I think you should go for it!”
The plain brown earth pony stared at Cozy in a mix of affection and disbelief, before replying in frustration, “Cozy, you’re... you’re so nice! How could you be a... a villain?”
Cozy Glow’s ears twitched back. She hadn’t meant for the mare to bring up her... thing. She just wanted Morning Glory focusing on positive things in her life. A broken pony wasn’t as useful to her as a healed one, after all.
“I get angry sometimes, and want to do things other ponies don’t like,” Cozy said, glancing away, “And I make mistakes. You have seen me when I’m angry?”
“Y-yes.”
“Well there’s your answer.”
Morning Glory continued to stare at least, still lost for words, still worried for Cozy for no reason. Cozy eagerly reassured her, “Don’t worry about me though. I bet by the time I have to go find a colt, I’ll be all reformed!” Cozy was so glad she could flutter up high enough to comfortingly pat the older pony’s head, saying, “You don’t have to be a whore if you don’t want to anymore, so just go have fun!”
“It’s... so strange how easily you can talk about it,” Morning Glory said with a searching look of the blue and pink filly as Cozy lightly landed again. Cozy Glow didn’t much like ponies trying to search for her past. “I... I guess you really are a foal,” the mare hesitantly concluded, “You just seem so grown-up sometimes. And you’re only 14?”
“Y-yeah. 14. Can we not talk about me, please?” Cozy Glow hissed testily.
Backing off, Morning Glory stammered, “Oh o-okay. Sorry.”
With a kind smile, Cozy said sweetly, “Thank you for caring about me, but you don’t have to worry about me right now. Let’s talk about you. You said once that you hated it when a stallion could do anything he wanted to you, but what if he couldn’t?”
“What about it?” the brown mare replied sulkily, “I don’t have to do any of that anymore.”
“But I mean, while you were doing it,” Cozy said encouragingly, “If you could have done what you wanted, couldn’t that have made it... kinda fun?”
The older mare’s blush was answer enough, so Cozy Glow asserted, “Even if ponies did it wrong in the past, there’s nothing wrong with wanting somepony to do it right, right?”
“I suppose so...” Morning Glory said shyly.
“Don’t you miss that feeling at all?” Cozy asked sweetly. Morning Glory was too shy to answer, which of course meant yes.
“What if you were with a stallion tomorrow?” Cozy urged, “You wouldn’t have to do anything he told you to do. You wouldn’t have to say yes to ugly or mean ones, just because they have money. If you had a real coltfriend, who was cute and lovable, then you’d be able to feel that again, without it being bad at all. Just imagine what he could do, that you would love so much?”
“Yeah...” Morning Glory said with a distant look in her eyes, and maybe a bit of drool at the corner of her mouth.
“I think you should try again,” Cozy suggested, “Go find some colts to be friends with, or let them find you. You don’t have to be a whore anymore. You can just talk to them about whatever you want. I bet you’d find one who likes you, and all those stallions before can stuff it, because you’ll finally have what you always wanted.”
“Do you really think I could... I could just talk to a stallion again?” Morning Glory asked Cozy hopefully.
“Stallions are just ponies like you and me,” Cozy explained, “He’s out there looking for a wonderful mare like you too. Just introduce yourself, and ask if he’s been here before, what he thinks of the place, then what else he does. If he asks what you do, tell him that you’re helping at the new asylum. And if it’s hard to say hi, here’s a trick I heard once: try thinking about him doing you before you go up to him.”
“W-what?” Morning Glory asked with a full on heavy blush.
“It’ll make you feel less anxious, and inhibited!” Cozy insisted, “Don’t worry, mares do it all the time.”
“Oh I could never...” Morning Glory said, hiding her blush under her forelegs, as Cozy insisted,
“Nopony’s gonna know you were just thinking about it,” Cozy said, adding in a whisper, “And even if nothing happens, you still get to imagine a nice, strong stallion being with you.”
“I–I’m imagining that now,” Morning Glory confessed quietly and completely unnecessarily.
“Great!” Cozy replied approvingly, “And you’d never tell me that, unless your body was making it easier to say things to ponies. It’s happening to you right now, just from talking like this! You don’t have to imagine a lot, just enough to feel your body getting ready. Then walk up to him, and let your instincts do the talking. And just imagine what could happen to you.”
“...I have to go,” Morning Glory said tensely, then trotted off toward the building. Cozy couldn’t help but giggle as she watched her go, because it was beyond obvious what that mare was going into her room to do right now. Morning Glory’s room that... Cozy’s smile faltered. Morning Glory’s room, that could be opened from the inside.
“How does Morning Glory have a coltfriend?”
“Golly,” Cozy Glow asked giving Starlight Glimmer a look of innocent, clueless concern, “Why would you ask little old me about that?”
“Because she has been saying nothing but good things about you,” the tired looking unicorn said in an accusation they both knew to be flimsy, “And she’s been unable to approach stallions because of her... past. Until you spoke with her, and... helped her, somehow.”
Cozy Glow was not about to tell Starlight Glimmer that Morning Glory was one of the tolerable ones, so Cozy wanted to use her in some fashion, but it was hard to find much use for a pony who had so many problems, so by fixing Morning Glory, Cozy Glow could gain a more powerful follower.
Instead, Cozy said grudgingly, “Morning Glory thinks she’s bad just because she did things with stallions for money. All I told her was it’s okay to be bad. She can’t change things back then, but she can now. I don’t know why she’s talking to colts again. Maybe her therapist is the one who’s really good at helping her. Have you talked to them?”
“I’ve been her... therapist for a while,” Starlight admitted, “But that brings me to something else. I’m...” rubbing her eyes, the lavender unicorn sighed, “Totally exhausted. I don’t think I can keep seeing everypony all the time.”
“You have hired other therapists, right?” Cozy asked cautiously.
“That’s what I wanted to talk about,” Starlight said hopefully, “You and I... well, I’m pretty sure you’ve got me wrapped around your little hoof by now. But I wondered if you might be interested in seeing another therapist, besides myself?”
Cozy Glow actually hadn’t considered that. She could get away from Starlight Glimmer? Would another therapist be any better? Somepony else was going to be talking to her? She wasn’t... ready to talk to somepony else.
“You don’t have to ask,” Cozy said in muted unenthusiam, looking downward, “I know you want to get rid of me. It’s okay if nopony wants to stay with me.”
Starlight gave her a conflicted look, but instead of calling Cozy out, like she usually did, the mare said, “You’re worried about being... that filly, aren’t you?”
“What filly?” Cozy asked, looking up in confusion. Was Starlight just trying to throw her off balance again?
“The filly who can’t let ponies go,” Starlight said, “Who gets sad and upset when her parental figures leave the room, just because she can’t be by herself. You don’t want to be that... typical little filly.”
Cozy knew her non-answer would be taken as a yes, but she couldn’t think of what to say. It was technically true, but that wasn’t what was important here, was it?
“Well don’t worry, you haven’t gotten rid of me just yet,” Starlight said with a smile that made Cozy want to blush, “We can still take a walk together every now and again. I just won’t be trying to pick your brain as much.”
“Pick my brain?” Cozy said looking blankly at the older mare.
A moment’s confusion and Starlight snickered, saying in amusement, “Yup, just gonna mine all the precious thoughts out of your brain. Polish them, carve facets out of them, mount them on a necklace, wear it to fancy parties, yep I’ve got big plans for those thoughts of yours!”
Cozy couldn’t stop a giggle herself, as she said, “That’s silly.”
“Sometimes it’s okay to be a little silly,” Starlight replied with a little smile, “I really do need your help though.”
“My help?” Cozy asked in puzzlement.
“Yes, you can... tell me if they’re any good or not!” Starlight said genially, “All I can do is interview them and look at their qualifications, but the pony you’ll be seeing, you will be able to get to know very well, and if she tries to do anything funny that might get you hurt...” She wasn’t smiling anymore. “You just let me know right away, alright?”
“Who exactly would I be seeing?” Cozy asked warily.
“Oh, I found the perfect candidate,” Starlight said, returning to delight, “I think you’re gonna love her...”
As the cackling evil illusion of a filly faded into nothing, Paradise Skies was already having second thoughts of working here, albeit not out of concern for the patients so much as the staff. “Was that really necessary?” the redheaded, pale-furred pegasus stated unhappily, as she emerged from the testing chamber.
“You wouldn’t believe how many candidates it filters out,” the asylum director said happily, albeit in something of a forced happiness. Starlight Glimmer was a pinkish unicorn with a bright aquamarine stripe in her purple mane, and Paradise wasn’t sure what to make of her. “Ponies have to be ready to deal with difficult patients if they’re gonna work here,” the mare explained, “Don’t worry. All I wanted was to make sure you would not break down in tears or anything.”
“With all due respect,” Paradise replied in quiet outrage, “That test was outright insulting to the mentally troubled. It’s a myth that ponies suffering from bipolar disorder switch from friendly to mean in a heartbeat. It’s also untrue for your illusion to act like that filly was secretly planning on conquering Equestria. In real world cases of borderline personality disorder, ponies like that are motivated by their fear that others are attacking them. Ponies laugh uncontrollably from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. They don’t just declare themselves Empress of Friendship and then cackle madly about it.”
“Actually...” the mare said uncomfortably, but Paradise wasn’t done yet.
“And just why was she making so many uncomfortable implications about my mother?!”
“Maybe I need to work on it a bit,” the swooshy haired unicorn admitted with a wince, “But given what you just said to me about it, you’ve already proven yourself more than capable of working here. You know the realities of bipolar and borderline patients, Dr. Paradise, and you’re willing to stand up to me for what’s right, even though it might mean you’d never get the job.”
“That... that’s true, I suppose,” the doctor said, taking a step back and folding her wings, “You didn’t design a deliberately bad test just so I would criticise it, did you?”
“Oh, never mind that. We can talk about it after you’re all set up here, Dr. Skies,” Starlight Glimmer said, scrunching suspiciously, “Now about your actions as a licensed therapist. You were recommended by a pony named Shady, a former patient of yours...”
Starlight went on to ask Paradise about any number of things including if she had any experience in close quarters combat, which Paradise could understand, considering that Cage had been moved here. If anypony other than that pony had ever more fetishized her own disorders, they would be very hard to find. Still, Paradise was out of her element, and the only reason she was even thinking about doing this was to keep an utter disaster from happening here. Ironically, that appeared to be precisely what got her hired.
Paradise didn’t know what this Starlight Glimmer was getting at, or why a hero of Equestria was running some strange combination of hospital and prison, but Paradise was certainly not going to leave well enough alone and let more ponies go without proper treatment. Never mind the rumor that some terrible villain was being held here, where he could potentially endanger the patients!
“Thank you for taking the time to see me,” Cozy Glow said gratefully.
“Oh, it’s... no problem, Miss Glow,” the new therapist said with a look of surprise that probably indicated she expected Cozy to be different.
Cozy giggled, saying, “You can call me Cozy. What’s your name?”
“My name is Paradise, Cozy,” the redheaded pegasus mare declared, standing by the door to her office so Cozy Glow could walk right in. She had light creamy fur and feathers, and bold red hair that curled neatly around her ears, but did not curl around itself the way Cozy’s hair liked to do. And something about Paradise’s eyes of green seemed... open and welcoming. No doubt she was doing it deliberately, as a professional therapist. They probably took a class in how to make your eyes do that.
The room Cozy was taken to for her meeting with Paradise was very similar to Starlight’s office. Cozy figured it would make sense to have more than one such office, if they were keeping a bunch of crazy ponies here. Avoiding the couch as usual, she turned circles making herself comfortable on the soft beanbag chair, while the therapist strode into the room after her.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Miss Paradise!” Cozy said cheerfully, with a cheeky smile.
“The pleasure’s all mine,” the therapy pony replied, “You can call me Paradise though.”
“As long as you don’t call me Miss Glow, that’s okay with me!” Cozy replied.
Paradise gave a soft laugh at that, and Cozy added, “Wait, do you mean Paradise like an tropical island, or like rolling the dice?”
Blinking a moment in confusion, Paradise laughed and said, “A tropical island would best suit my name. That’s probably why my cutie mark has palm trees on it.”
“Ohh,” Cozy Glow said looking at the therapist’s hindquarters, bearing twin palm trees and a crescent moon, “How did you get your cutie mark?” she asked curiously.
“It was an island, in fact,” the therapist said with import, “And I suppose it would be tropical. I was with a number of foals who got lost on a sailing expedition. I really don’t think it’s all that special, but it means a lot to me. It reminds me of how I was calm under pressure, and how I brought comfort to the other foals, keeping them calm while we waited for our teachers to come rescue us. I wasn’t the only one who got their cutie mark that day, but I was the one who decided to help troubled ponies. Some ponies really do need that kind of help, just as terribly as stranded foals.”
“What other foals were you stranded with?” Cozy asked, wide-eyed in wonder, “Were there a lot of them?”
“There were... six fillies, and two colts,” Paradise said thoughtfully, “We were quite the ragtag bunch, in those days that we waited for rescue.”
“What did you do while you were there?” Cozy asked, “Besides comforting the other foals?”
“Oh, we got ourselves into quite a bit of mischief,” Paradise said in amusement, “One of the colts was a farm pony, so he knew a lot about living off the land. It was thanks to him that we got a fire started on the second night, on the beach to hopefully attract any rescuers. There was enough grass and shoots growing to get by on thankfully, and I helped with getting a ready source of fresh water, but after two nights we were all ready to go home.”
“That sounds so pretty though,” Cozy said dreamily, having a very hard time picturing something she’d only seen pictures of in books before, “A fire on the beach. What was the colt’s name?”
“Oh, it was Texas,” Paradise declared, “It’s an old name that means friend in an ancient pony tongue.” Blushing slightly, she added with fondness, “He certainly lived up to his name that night.”
“How so?” Cozy Glow asked with interest, “Just because he lit the fire?”
“No, he lit a lot more than that,” Paradise chuckled mysteriously.
“What do you mean?” Cozy asked, kind of thinking she knew, but it would definitely be good to let Paradise take her time in answering.
“W-well, you know, when you get a bunch of fillies and a colt or two stranded on an island,” Paradise said blushingly, looking upward and waving a dismissive forehoof, “With no adults to tell you what to do...”
With a shocked gasp, Cozy Glow asked, “Did you kiss??”
Blushing harder, Paradise said, “Yes it... it was only natural to be curious, and we were sleeping together. So yes we kissed, and...”
“And...?” Cozy prompted at the mare’s anxious silence.
“And we... got up to a lot of fun things, as well as some trouble,” Paradise said with a full scrunch before her blush faded. “I feel like this conversation has gotten seriously off track,” she added unhappily.
“Oh well that’s okay,” Cozy said in an understanding tone, sinking into her beanbag again as she looked with amusement at the other pegasus, saying sincerely, “It’s always fun to talk about your cutie mark story.”
“How did you get your cutie mark?” Paradise asked curiously and Cozy’s friendly smile froze. Shit.
“I–I was just... playing chess, it wasn’t anything special,” Cozy said, blushing and looking away, “Not everypony gets their cutie mark on an adventure.”
“You like playing chess, then?” Paradise inquired.
Cozy Glow hated playing chess. “Oh, not a lot, now that I think about it,” she said with an apologetic smile, “Maybe it has to do with something else. Like playing games in general.”
“Why don’t you tell me more about the games you like to play?” Paradise asked hopefully, and dangerously as far as Cozy was concerned.
“You don’t want to talk about how I was a bad pony?” Cozy asked in sorrowful confusion, “I thought that’s why we were here.”
“We’re here to talk about whatever you want to talk about,” Paradise said amiably, “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“But not about... what you got up to on that island,” Cozy prompted unsurely.
A little blush returned, and Paradise said, “Yes, talking about you would be...”
“Preferable?” Cozy suggested.
Paradise smiled and nodded, “Yes, exactly. We’re not here to psychoanalyze me, after all.”
“Well,” Cozy said, looking downward regretfully, “We can talk about me, I suppose. I know I did something bad once, because I was really mad about stuff, and now ponies don’t think I can control my temper.”
“How do you feel about ponies like that?” Paradise leapt upon gently, as Cozy pouted her lower lip.
Sighing deeply, Cozy Glow said, “It’s true. I was getting really mad, and I couldn’t control my temper at all! Starlight Glimmer has been so helpful to me since then. I’m glad she gave me a second chance, because I feel like I’m getting better every day!”
“You are doing well as far as I can tell!” the friendly-voiced therapist said in pleasant surprise, “When was the last time you got angry with somepony?”
“Oh, it was a long time ago,” Cozy replied, looking upwards as she paused in thought. “Hmm. I think it was when one of the nurses was being mean to me. I tried to tell her that I would be okay if she just left me alone, but she just tranquilized me, and left me on my bed.”
Blinking, Paradise said, “Are you... sure? Because that is very unethical behavior.”
“I don’t know much about ethics,” Cozy admitted wryly, “They say it was to keep me from hurting myself. That’s what they said at least. They sometimes do it to other ponies too, like the pink mare, with the weird eyes, and the stallion with only one wing. They’re really nice, but sometimes the nurses say they need to be tranquilized and shut away...” she paused a moment, before reluctantly adding, “...like me.”
“One... wing?” the fellow pegasus said in a predictable amount of alarm.
“Oh yes, he lost his in an accident a long time ago,” Cozy explained, “I asked why they don’t give him an artificial wing, but they say it makes him easier to manage.”
The therapist sort of looked like she was going to explode, but staring guiltily at Cozy, she forced herself to relax saying, “I’ll have to look into that, but this is your time, not his. If I could, I’d like to get to know you better.”
“Golly, I don’t think there’s much to know,” Cozy said in bemusement, “I thought I was just an ordinary filly, until I made a mistake that... hurt a lot of ponies.”
Cozy’s eyes ran with tears, as she said piteously, “I didn’t know they would get hurt! I didn’t think it would be so bad. I just made a mistake, and now everypony hates me!”
Coming up and snugging Cozy in the crook of her neck, Paradise said, “There there, it’s alright.” Cozy managed to spend several seconds pulling herself together, then stepping back from Paradise to wipe off her tears, returned to her own personal space. The therapist said compassionately, “You can’t have known the full consequences. You’re still just a filly! I didn’t realize that it was a pony like you, who...”
“No, it’s okay, you can say what I did,” Cozy said remorsefully, “I just wish I could make it up to everypony somehow. But the only thing they say I need to do is be a good friend. So that’s what they were working at with me, before you came here.”
“What would you say your greatest obstacles to that are?” Paradise asked, settling her haunches to the floor, closer to the filly on her beanbag.
“Gee, I dunno,” Cozy said thoughtfully, “I’ve always been a pretty good friend. I don’t know if that’s really even the problem! I think I just got real mad at my friends, and I guess that means I deserve to be here. I just want to show everypony that I’m not a bad filly. I didn’t mean to hurt everypony’s trust, but Starlight Glimmer says that it’s because I shouldn’t be myself, and that nopony will ever trust me again.”
“Oh, she’s so wrong, you have no idea,” Paradise assured the poor filly, “What else has she said to you? Has she ever hurt you, or touched you anywhere you aren’t comfortable with?”
“Well...” Cozy said thoughtfully.
Starlight Glimmer looked up from yet more medical paperwork, as the new therapist came stomping in, declaring offendedly, “Starlight Glimmer! I don’t know what sort of operation you think you’re running here, but it has to stop!”
“What?” Starlight said, very, very honestly, staring at the redheaded mare like an alien as Dr. Paradise said,
“You need to let Cozy Glow free right this minute!” Paradise asserted with an outraged stomp, “There is nothing wrong with her that would justify keeping her here!”
“...what?” Starlight repeated in utter disbelief.
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Oh my God that's filly Anon. You magnificent bastard. And it would seem Cozy is still way too good at manipulation for her own good!
Paradise means well, but her first mistake was letting Cozy control the conversation like that. Now, Cozy has another tool and the game gets harder for Glimglam.
That said, I'm sure Cozy will tip her hand to Paradise and Glory at some point. Hopefully, there won't be enough damage for Glimmer to give Paradise an "I told you so."
"HA HA! ME BLOODY SIDES, MATE! 'CHA GONNA KILL ME LUNGS OOAHHHHHAAAAA!"
Oh my god.
Gimme more Anon-filly! I fucking love it.
Cliffhanger? Seriously?
ROFLMFO! OMG! That whole scene was...so fucking hilarious! Oh god...I can't breathe! I love this fanfic, LOVE IT!
Oh gods, Paradise is gonna become a "Harleen Quinzel" type isn't she?
Another excellent installment. The turn around on Paradise Skies was great and fully expected. I'm shocked Starlight Glimmer didn't listen in on the first session, she had to have seen this coming. Also, can't help but feel like Cozy is punishing Starlight for ditching her. She doesn't want to be "that filly" but how dare Starlight make her "that filly". Ha!
The whole not knowing the f-word scene was great fun, I loved how desperate to know Starlight Glimmer was and Cozy clues in that maybe she's not supposed to know if Starlight doesn't. Morning Glory's journey is also interesting, I've enjoyed the bits with her.
Well, I knew that ending was on the way as soon as Paradise complained about the test.
How to get played by a filly, LMAO.
"Paradise By The Dashboard Light"'.
I loved this chapter, this is Cozy Glow brilliant, conversational, and charming. This was well worth the wait, good job.
jeez. screwball, anonfilly, shutterbug, who i recognize from a certain evil sticks story, morning glory, and a shmuck that fell for the nice filly act from cozy right off the bat from a old neetpone story. we got a full menagerie here huh. I’m not that knowledgeable on the various crazies, unless their your own creations though.
9922069
N-no it's not! I-it's just my original character, Green Homet! I-I don't even know what 4chan is!
Cozy is having so much fun messing with her.
9922076
Are... you okay?
9922232
It can't possibly be Anon filly! Filly Anon is a perfectly sane and well-adjusted pony!
9922282
Just be glad Paradise didn't bust in wielding heavy firepower!
Starlight: Paradise will be able to handle Cozy just fine!
Paradise: *busts down door* SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND
Starlight:
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/027/475/Screen_Shot_2018-10-25_at_11.02.15_AM.jpg
9922289
...which whole scene? The roller skate incident, the group therapy session, or Cozy's intake interview?
9922301
9922405
I don't know what you're talking about. Starlight is a precious cinnamon roll who doesn't have a deceptive bone in her body.
She'll be that filly without being that filly no matter how much Starlight tries to make her be not be that filly!
Cozy had to be pretty savvy to make it this far on her own!
I do feel for her, and I like to think she'd get the help she needs in any Equestria even remotely similar to that of the show. It's a world where Tiny Tim invites the Little Match Filly over for their Hearths Warming feast... in my dreams, at least.
9922547
Ah, but did Starlight intend for it to end this way all along?
...no, no she did not.
9922597
Surely she couldn't be misleading Paradise whatsoever. Everything Cozy said has been technically true!
9922619
I don't get the reference, sorry...
9922675
Thanks! I've been itching to have Cozy be a little more her old self, as much as everypony at the asylum wants her open, raw and vulnerable. It's so cool how she turns things her way without the other ponies disagreeing, or even noticing. I only hope I can write well enough that readers feel like she's outsmarting smart ponies, rather than all the other ponies being blithering morons.
I'll try not to have as much of a wait, but no promises. I dunno if it's the stupid, dumb holidays or what, but it's hard to write a lot this time of year. Last year, I couldn't publish a single chapter from like September to February or something.
9923055
Huh, I don't think any of the patients was a neet. Much as I love Floorb, she's not exactly suffering from the kind of malady that needs to be institutionalized. I haven't included any of my own original characters in the story yet, I don't think.
9923062
And then Paradise is send to Tartarus for nearly killing Starlight with only the word of a psycopath little filly
9923069
That whole counseling meeting and that conversation between Starlight and Cozy on the F word subject. It was fucking funny as hell, friend. Good up the good work, you're doing great.
9923062
Well... Now that I think about it, this is EXACTLY what Cozy needs, if she'd open herself up a little more. Assuming Starlight is doing what I think she might be doing, giving Cozy to Paradise gives Cozy another example of a pony being generous and trying to protect her... which is another data point against the idea that ponies are all about using other ponies. So, I'm guessing that Starlight is hoping to use Paradise's desire for fairness and proper treatment as another good cop?
If Starlight's gotten through to Cozy even a little, then Paradise sticking her neck out for Cozy will just show there's yet another pony who cares about her well-being. If not, Cozy can still USE Paradise without necessarily believing in her "fair treatment for patients" schtick. Or things get kinda squicky in the middle of the two and the game continues!
Honestly, Paradise is going to have one helluva time being ping-ponged between Cozy and Starlight. She's clearly intelligent though, so I'm certain she'll be picking up on things rather quickly once she has some time to reflect and Starlight clues her in on how Cozy operates. Though, I'm assuming Starlight will clue her in... it could well be that keeping Paradise ignorant or letting her figure it out for herself might have more effect. Ugh, this is making my head hurt. In other news, ferret continues to be stupid brilliant at his characters.
This does bring up some memories though. How do you treat a patient who's smart enough to know what you're looking for, and perfectly willing to sacrifice their long-term well-being in order to give you what you want to hear, so that they can get out of therapy?
ANYWAYS, I loved the filly Anon insert and therapy shenanigans, especially since I've been picking up a lot of the old Anon in Equestria fics. Hopefully we get to see more of her, and some more of Morning Glory would be nice too. Poor gal deserves to be happy. Of course, I say that with certainty that you'll find some way to break her a bit more before she's put all the way together, but as long as she gets there in the end....
I know this was prolly setup for more srsface-enabled scenes in the coming chapter, but it was nice to have some lighthearted moments.
9923062
"Paradise By The Dashboard Light" is a song by Meat Loaf.
Another good Meat Loaf tune is "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)".
Oof.
That new doctor is kind , and might be otherwise decent at her job , but she is all in all a moron and incompetent , because she couldn't bother to read the damn patient file.
If she had , she would have known that Cozy was a manipulative liar that managed to fool even the bucking element of Honesty , and that she is troubled enough to at least be borderline for some disorder.
Hospitals and prisons keep files for a reason , any doctor that don't bother reading the damn files should be fired on the spot (because you can very easily kill someone with that kind of stupidity)
Did Equestria Girls not happen in this universe? They should both know what a human is at this point.
9923299
This asylum run by Starlight Glimmer.
All common sense abandon ye who enter here.
9923077
Paradise is sent to Tartarus. That is ironic as fuck.
9923088
Thanks, will do my best. I love the idea that ponies don't swear so much, they don't even know the words.
9923090
If anyone knew that, then I would've been cured years ago!
I get really tired of Anon in Equestria fics, since they're all about how amazed ponies are that there's a man with hands do to smart human things that they're too innocent to have ever thought of. Turn him into a cute little helpless filly though, and it's all better! Ponies make everything better!
9923105
Oh I think I heard an excerpt from that second one. I'll look it up sometime. But I mean come on, there are probably dozens of pop songs with the word "paradise" in them. Spanish Paradise, Another Day in Paradise, Paradise Island, etc.
9923199
"And she keps claiming that she's got exactly two petals, like some kind of flower!"
9923299
To be fair, Cozy's er... role in the incident was mostly a classified state secret, until it leaked to the press. So her file might not have been updated. Starlight's a lot sloppier than Twilight, after all. I will be honest with you, I know a lot of counselors who do not read their patient's file, except as it comes up during therapy. I suspect it would be different for the literally criminally insane, but Equestria is kind of new at this whole "not locking them in a dungeon where you banished them" thing.
9923607
Sorry, did what not happen? Everything went white and I only heard this ringing noise when you said those two words there.
9923890
It's perfectly okay if Starlight Glimmer is running the asylum, because she and all her patients are equal!
9925519
But there is only one Meat Loaf!
9925519
Just making sure.
Kinky!
So she could open her door from the inside and then open Cozy's door from outside
m.quickmeme.com/img/5f/5f0de050ec2c701d469a0409e7c495b520f60c7fe084359e3ce31cb7e05ab50f.jpg
9926246
Bring on the fuzzy cuffs and whipped cream!
That'd set Cozy free, but it wouldn't fix the fact that she allowed her situation to get so bad. She'll have a hard time getting past how ponies lock her up in a room with no way for her to get out.
9928967
Er, the new shrink?
9929015
Oh, yes. That is one possible way Starlight could react!
I find it odd how nobody has recognized Shutterbug yet. Huh. Anyways, this story comes highly praised from a friend of mine, so I had to see what it was all about-- and it doesn't disappoint~
9929537
Recognize her? Cozy Glow has never even seen her before!
9932067
I meant like, in the comments!
9932073
Well, I guess one person has!
9922405
On the contrary, Cozy is doing exactly Starlight asked her to do. She put the newbie to a test, and said newbie failed spectacularly.
Cozy did it in the most destructive way possible (it probably would have been enough to just finish quietly and tell Starlight that she'd successfully golly'd Paradise's entire life story out of her during their first session), but it was still what she was asked to do.
9932507
Haha, well she did request Cozy check how good they were, I just saw her following through on that in such an extreme way as the punishment aspect. Like, there was a dial for testing out the new staff and she cranked it so hard to the max it broke off.
That and it could also be taken as Starlight trying to offer Cozy some control for the situation if she felt like she had none with the switch up. Cozy and Starlight are both "precious cinnamon roll"s though, according to the author, so who can really tell what levels they're operating at beyond the obvious. Pretty much here for the ride for the most part.
9932507
Hah, I really have to make sure to go into that a bit more next chapter. Hopefully won't mean shuffling more scenes around.
9932523
The author is a precious cinnamon roll though, so you can't blame them for being a little too naively kind and accepting of their characters.
This will end badly
Paradise...
What the actual fuck?
9964570
Did I say otherwise? Starlight used snark: apparently not effective.
9964570
Cozy Glow is a symphony of contradictions.
"Sure, I guess I'll just put her back where I found her, shall I?"
It's true you'd think mixing a bunch of ponies with different mental disorders together would have more negative consequences than positive - but Cozy's effect on Morning Glory is a counterexample. Still, it's a tricky mix.
I thought briefly that the Illusion test was actually just Cozy, but that doesn't seem to be the case?
That is so cold coming from Twilight, she never heard of the ape creature called yoman