• Published 5th Jun 2019
  • 4,200 Views, 520 Comments

That Time I Became a Friendship Bomb - Carmine Craft

Peter was a responsible college student, and what better reward for his efforts than a one way ticket to Equestria? Wait what? Now he has to get used to the land of happy go lucky ponies. He, now she, first has to get her new hooves under her first.

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Chapter 9: Tours of Town & Troubling Transformations.

"Curses, we hast received the crone again!" Night Strider complained, causing me to chuckle, or rather giggle, my voice is to high for proper chuckling. Me and the pegasus filly were hanging out in the newly constructed gaming gazebo, it was a very simple design, but it has this awesome central table with all kinds of games stored within, and a glass roof. Apparently these Equestrians weren't very good poker players, even a child could spot their tells.

This last hand I had decided to take the obvious bait and held onto the old maid for the duration of the hand, till the last pair was to be made. At that moment I took my winnings. "Better luck next time hun~" I said mockingly.

"Didst thou just issue a challenge to us?"

"Dunno, did I?" I replied, a smug grin on my face.

Night Strider's wings bristled and she huffed. "Oh, tis so very on!" She retorted, slamming a hoof onto the table.

"Alright, Night Light, the usual stakes I presume?" Night Strider plopped a few gold bars onto the tables betting section, I placed the same amount. I shuffled the cards and put them in the special stand, it dealt them out evenly to us. I wound up with the old maid, but that wouldn't last long, I placed the first pair down, followed by the pegasus.

"We shalt aquire... this one!" She took a four of hearts from me and slammed it down with its partner.


Yond is't! We has't hadst enow! This filly shalt learn of our prowess at games! Luna vowed. She dropped the handicap she had given the child and played for real.

I'll just let her win this time. She wanted to use all this gold to make some pretty intricate decorations for her house, so it would be rude to just take it all, but I have to make her think she wins fair and square. I thought I purposefully retrieved the maid from my opponents hand. Oddly enough they still call them 'hands' of cards, wonder why.

After a few turns I noticed a major improvement in Night Strider's skills. I lost by a land slide. "So, you were holding out on me, eh? Didn't take you for a hustler." I said with a sigh.

Night Strider flinched. "We... We didst not aim to fell thee, or make the game unfun."

"You didn't, but next time neither of us will be pulling punches." I stated. Night Strider agreed to that and I put the deck away.

"So then, what activity shalt we partake in next?" She asked me. I shrugged, then remembered my shoulders aren't built for such an expression anymore and repeated the pony version.

"Dunno, up to you Night Light." I offered.

Night Strider pouted at me. "We wish thee wouldst not refer to us in such a way."

"Why not? It's just a nickname, friends give them to each other all the time. And with how much you hang out in my dream/our shared dreamscape, or what ever it is, I think I'm allowed to call you such." I countered.

"Fine then, we shalt dub thee Genta!"

I blanched at her choice. "What, why?"

"Doth thee like it?" I shook my head. "Then thee has't thy answer!" She finished.

"... Fine, its only fair I suppose. So Night Light, what game shall we play next?"

"How doest a game of War sound, Genta?" she drew out the Nick name. I could feel my ears snap in annoyance.

I retrieved the deck once more. "You've got yourself a game, Night Light." I returned.

After a few more games, we broke about even on the betting pool. Night Strider wound up taking the better half back to her miniature fortress of a build. I began the process of waking up and said good bye to her.

I was greeted by the sight of Twilight. She was scribbling down words into a notepad while running some kind of scanning spell over my hooves.

"Uhh, hi there." I started.

Twilight jumped with a gasp, dropping her clip board.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Uhhhhhhhhh..." She looked side to side nervously, "...hhhhhhhhhhhh..." she dragged on for far to long for her not to be fishing for an answer. "...hhhhh, nothing?" She wore the most forced smile in the world, and I say that sitting in magical pony land.

I mentally pinched the bridge of my nose, an expression I greatly missed, along with snapping, golf claps, and giving certain individuals the middle finger. I sighed. "Whatever, so what's on the agenda for toaday?"

Her expression brightened. "Well, you've been steadily increasing your skill with basic levitation, but learning some of the more advanced spells could speed that up, have you read 'Cosmo's guide to Magic for Foals' yet?"

Crap. "Uh, no. I still haven't read, any of them." I admitted.

Twilight deflated. "I see... I suppose you just don't find reading enjoyable?" She guessed at. I quickly moved to correct her.

"No! I mean, its not that its just that I-" I stopped short. Am I actually going to admit that I can't read any of them?

"That you what?" Twilight asked.

I took a breath. "I can't... I can't read them..."

Twilight looked to me, aghast. "You... you can't..."

"I just, never... It's not the language I-"

"You can't Read!?" she interrupted me. "Come with me, I am going to teach you."


"What?" she inquired, turning back to me.

"Nothing, just not the reaction I was expecting."

"Well I'm not about to just not let you experience one of the greatest pleasures known to ponykind! Now come on."

I nodded and followed her to the library. Dozens of books flew off the shelves, Twilight looked through each of them in a second. She piled up the ones that did not meet her standards. She sat me down next to her on some cushions. The book she had selected was obviously a children's story book, the cover art made it obvious. She also popped a chalkboard into existance.

"Now then the first letter of the alphabet is..."

"Why are there so many characters..." I complained, my forelimbs draped over my skull.

"Because the original script of ponies was lost during Discord's rule, he made a total of one hundred sixty three and a half different characters. One for every single different way a sound could be said, and different ways it could be read based on the rest of the context of the sentence." Twilight explained. "Furthermore, after his defeat, the princesses slimmed down and standardized the alphabet to a minimal forty two characters, and the modern version was slimmed even farther down to a simple thirty six."

"That was rhetorical..." I bemoaned.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Well anyway, now that we have covered the basic alphabet, we should move onto some basic words and spelling." Twilight cleared the board and began anew.

Learning Equish script took far less time than I thought it would, aside from the extra characters for sounds like 'th' 'sh' and such, it was only a matter of matching up the Equish characters to my native ones. It would take a bit of practice to properly memorize them all, and I was not exactly overjoyed to have to.

I was extremely thankful that the grammar was the same, given the shared spoken language it made sense, but given that an apparent lord of chaos overhauled the written language, I'm thankful that he didnt switch it to Spanish grammar.

I scribbled down notes on the Equish alphabet, matching each character to my Latin alphabet. With this I might be able to attempt reading.

"I can't believe your school never taught you how to read." Twilight sighed as she finished writing, "The filly played with her friends." "And whats even more confusing is that you seem to be well read!"

Eh, moderately anyway. "I just didn't learn Equish there, we didn't cover it in class."

"It's the most common language in the world!" Twilight stressed. A knock at the door drew the purple mare's attention. She looked back to me. "We will finish up the lesson later." The purple mare went to the front door, me on her heels.

Because I don't really have anything to do. It's not like I really know anyone in town, I thought. Another knock. Twilight magic-ed the door open a few paces before she reached it.

"Hi Twilight!" A familiar country voice said. "Is Argent home?" Apple Bloom asked. The filly peeked around Twilight's legs. "Oh Argent, hi!" She said, bouncing past Twilight and stopping in front of me. "Do ya wanna go play some more?"

I just had to say that... I shook my head. Child, playing, no thanks. I gave Twilight a look, look that says 'I really dont want to do this, help me!'

Twilight responded with, "hmmm, I dunno. We were in the middle of a lesson." My expression brightened immensely once Apple Bloom turned to face Twilight, with a look that was almost assuredly the opposite of my own. "But, I suppose we could just cut the lesson short, you girls have fun!" Mine and Apple Bloom's expressions flipped, and the filly started bouncing again.

"Alright! Hey Argent, where do ya wanna go? Do ya wanna go ta SugarCube Corner? Or the park? Maybe we could go down to the river?" She suggested in a rapid fire manner.

"Uhh." I looked to Twilight for help, but she had already left. Crap, I'm stuck hanging out with the child, aren't I. I sighed. "You pick, I still don't know much about Ponyville."

"Well alright! Follow me." We wandered around town, occasionally stopping so she could give me a bit of information on the stores we passed. We did end up going to Sugercube Corner, and Pinkie bought us each a cupcake. I'm not overly big on sweets, but I can't turn down something someone bought for me. The cupcake tasted largely how they did back home, but something about it was just, better. Can't really explain it.

Upon exiting the establishment we were nearly run over by an orange blur. The blur sounded nigh motorized and was definetly some kind of pony , but any further details were unreadable to me due to the high speeds.

We were left struggling to breathe in a cloud of dust. "Who, cough, who was that?" I asked my tour guide.

"I dunno, but they need ta watch where their goin!" Apple Bloom shouted after them, but the offender was far out if earshot by now. "C'mon Argent, we 're gonna find em and give em what fer!"

Why though? I thought these ponies were like, really friendly. "uhh, I dunno. They probably didn't mean to do that. I think we could just leave her be." Apple Bloom gave me an odd look that I couldn't quite place. "don't you have a few more things you would like to do today?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

Apple Bloom immidetly brightened. "Oh yeah! Follow me." The yellow filly lead me south west of the library, down the road to Sweet Apple Acres.

"We going to your house?" I asked. Apple Bloom shook her head.

"Nah, some place else." We turned right almost a minute into the trail, a red structure I had passed a few times on my way to Applejack's place coming into view. It was a simple rectangular structure, complete with one of the bells that old school houses had.

... Wait a minute! "Is this the school!?" I backed away. Hissing like a cat.

"Yeah, what's the matter?" Apple Bloom asked, clearly confused. "I know school ain't the most popular place an' all, but you're actin kinda funny."

"I served my time! No way am I going back to grade school."

"What's that supposed ta mean?" She asked me, clearly more confused than before.

I kept backing up till I bumped into something. I looked over my shoulder and up. I saw a moderate cerise coated mare. Her greyish harlequin eyes staring down at me. "Hello little pony, what brings you to the school today? Are you perhaps transferring in?" She asked.

"Nope!" I shot off like a rocket back into town. I nearly ran over anyone in my way, the fact that they were at least twice my current size didn't matter. I didn't stop till I was safely back inside Golden Oaks. I was breathing heavily while propped up against the door.

A confused Twilight came to the front door. "Argent? You're back already? What's the..." She locked eyes with me. "What happened!?" she shouted at me like I had lost an arm. I tilted my head to the side, catching sight of light blue flakes falling to the ground. I brought a hoof up to my forehead, feeling a rough stub rather than the three inch thing sticking out of my head. I ran past Twilight, looking for a mirror. Once I found one I was met with my visage staring back at me. I looked up to see that my horn was about half the size it usually was, and it was crumbling like dry crackers.

"I-I... what happened?" I asked the room. Twilight caught up to me, looking more worried than before. "I... I didn't even notice..m" I said, turning to face her. She put a hoof on my withers before pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

I don't feel particularly sad, and my reflection showed that I looked more surprised than anything, so why the hug? I blinked. Oh wait, is this because of that whole' magic is a unicorns birthright' thing? That makes sense, loosing ones horn pretty much stops any and all attempts at using magic ever again, but mine grew back really quickly before didn't it? "Is, is this permanent?" I asked her, my horn still sheading dead flakes.

"I'm not sure, but I'm going to figure it out." Twilight promised.

Once more I found myself in Twilight's basement lab, my horn the cause of both visits so far. A jar of my horn flakes – That sounds like some kind of cereal I could buy here, huh. – was going through the scanner. The decay of my horn had stopped, leaving me with a rounded nub that barely passed a quarter inch in length.

Additionally, I was stood in that same scanning machine I was in last time, it had finished it's pass over my horn region and had moved onto my hooves. "A Gaean Duct!? But, but, but..." Twilight trailed off.

Isn't that the thing she said I didn't have last time? "Does that mean I'm not a unicorn anymore?" I asked her.

She gave me a look before going over all her papers again. "It would seem... wait." She started the scanner again. It must have spat out different numbers because she stared at the results disbelievingly. She re-scanned me again and again. By the end of my fifth scan I was able to see the end of my horn poking into my vision once more, and the scan stopped coming back green around my hooves.

Twilight was comparing the veritable mountain of paper the overworked machine had spat out. "So, what's the diagnosis doc?" I asked, trying to put a bit of levity into the situation.

"You are still a unicorn." She assured me.

Oh good, well at least my body has finally settled on what it wants to be. Now the-

"But," she cut off my thoughts, "for a time you had lapsed into being an earth pony. Each time I re-ran the scan your tribal attribute for earth ponies shrank, and the one for unicorns grew." I looked up to my horn, it still wasn't full length, but it was still growing.

"Those would be my horn and this Gaean Duct thing you were talking about?"

Twilight nodded. "It would seem that, for a short time, you transformed back into an earth pony, but the reason why I am not yet sure of. Tell me what you and Apple Bloom did today, it could be the key to this mystery."

I put a forehoof to my chin in thought. "We didn't really do anything though. All we did was visit Sugarcube Corner and visit the school." Twilight was writing on a chalk board.

"There are no known spells for changing a pony's tribe, and illusions wouldn't show up on the scans so vividly, so it has to be some kind of unkown or new spell? Or perhaps it has to do with her origins?"

"Twilight?" I asked, but she wasn't listening. My stomach growled, and almost on cue, Spike descended into the basement, serving tray in hand.

"It doesn't make sense." Twilight muttered, tapping the chalk on her chin. "A pony's tribe doesn't just change, it woudnt be possible." She had absent mindedly picked a sandwich off the tray and was taking bites between thinking out loud.

Fairly certain I wouldn't be able to figure this out, I followed Spike back up the stairs. We had dinner and I worked on understanding Equish. "Just leave the science to the scientist, it would all just fly over your head, you are just an art student, one that nearly flunked out of the sciences at that." I said while staring at a page uncomprehendingly.

Despite my saying so, I continued to ponder the question. How could I not? I mean, it's a pretty big question after all, and it very much concerns me. I rolled onto my back, blowing the hair out of my eyes. All I did was hang out with Apple Bloom. Nothing else happened. Apple Bloom, I was around Apple Bloom, all afternoon, Apple Bloom, the earth pony... Can't be. Can it?

Author's Note:

I don't have anything to say this time around!
Special thanks to Jasperr Hart and gerandakis for editing.

Starting chapter ten! Bye!

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