• Published 5th Jun 2019
  • 14,712 Views, 867 Comments

That Time I Became a Friendship Bomb - Carmine Craft



Peter was a responsible college student, and what better reward for his efforts than a one way ticket to Equestria? Wait what? Now he has to get used to the land of happy go lucky ponies. He, now she, first has to get her new hooves under her first.

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Chapter 21: A Stroll Through the- Oh What Now?

Allright, let's see here... I thought as I floated my bag's contents in front of me.

History homework check, assigned reading check, lunch, looks good. Extra books that Twi sent with me for the entire class.

I hefted up the stack, and replaced it within the confines of my bag.

Thank God for gravity magic, can lift far heavier things than TK, even if it's not as fine control.

"Argent, are you ready to go?" Twilight called from downstairs.

Guess That's my cue. I strapped on my packs and hopped down the stairs with semi-practiced ease. At the bottom of the stairs, I came across Twilight practicing spells on Spike, I stayed for an extra few seconds to see a black mustache sprout from his upper lip. With my curiosity sated I stepped out the door, but not before grabbing the helmet I had yet to return. I started making my way to the school house right afterward.

I expected to run into one or more of a certain group of fillies on my way there, as one or two of them usually found me and walked with me there, as had been the case so far, but aparently, today I would get to walk in solitude.

'This is nice, just me and my thoughts for once, well that and the charming little town I am in.'

I smiled and put a little more spring in my step, taking a deep breath of the clean air.

'I never did take a second to appreciate how clean the air is, did I? There is no car fumes, cigarette smoke, nothing! just freash air, unlike back home... wonder how it's going back there... I was really looking forward to that marvel movie, now I'll never know how they beat that purple guy... Aww, now I'm sad again!'

My walk had slowed to a crawl, and my head was hung low, ears drooping to further exhibit my current mood. I took a deep breath and sighed, then began looking around for a distraction, anything, or anyone to get my mind off of thoughts of home.

I found one, it came in the form of a unicorn mare pulling a wagon up not too far from the park. Her horn briefly glowed and some wooden blocks found themselves between the wheels. Then, a massive stage unfolded from the left wall.

'Ah, the latest usage of Physics-be-Damned. An interesting one, its either pocket dimensions, or size altering enchantments, perhaps a mix of both?'

My curiosity thoroughly piqued, I nonchalantly trotted over, and got a better look at her. She was sky blue, with a silvery mane and tail, her cutie mark was that of a sparkling magic wand. She was wearing a purple cape, and floated a matching hat out of her trailer, she spent a few seconds fussing over the supports of her stage, and finnaly turned around.

"Oh, hello there little filly, come to watch the best magic show of all time?" The mare asked, adding a little flare.

"Mmm, possibly, what kinda magic?" I asked her, glancing back at my saddle bags for a moment. Indecision filled my mind for all of two seconds.

'Screw it, I'm ditching.'

"Stick around, and you shall witness the feats of the Great and Powerful, Trixie!" Tiny fireworks flashed behind her as she rolled her R's.

'I find this distraction acceptable.'

"Cool, so like, stage magic n' stuff? Sounds fun."

"It is more than simple illusions, The Great and Powerful Trixie is one of the strongest mares in all of Equestria!" More fireworks punctuated her sentence.

"Heh, awesome, look forward to your show then, when's it start?" I asked, finding a comfortable location, front and center near the stage.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie, shall be mistifying the ponies of Ponyville in twenty minutes."

"M'kay I'll find myself a spot then." I placed myself a few paces away from the stage and got comfortable. Trixie went back to setting up her stage, and I pulled out a book to idly thumb – hoof? – through.

The book turned out to be one on history, specifically the gryphon wars. It was unfortunately at a foals' reading level, so I didn't get any interesting details, like siege engines or battle formations, but in the thirteenth year of the prolonged conflict, Equestria managed to gain the support of Zebrica, the home land of Zebras. Together with the shamanistic race, they were able to force the warlike gryphon's into a ceasefire, and eventually a treaty to end the conflict.

"Greetings denizens of Poniville! I, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie have come to grace your town with my arcane feats of Wonder!" The showmare shouted from her stage, drawing in a crowd. "Come and be amazed, witness the prowess of the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria!" She reared back and little magical fireworks sprang up from behind her to add flash and flare to her statement, drawing 'ooh's and 'aah's from the gathering crowd.

I rolled my eyes good naturedly at her claims. 'Obviously just trying to grab attention.' during my eye roll, I discovered that I wasn't the only one to skip school, the two guys, Snips and Snails, were eating up Trixie's boasts, and we're staring reverently up at the stage. The CMC had taken up position around me. Looking farther I discovered the entire class, save for Silver Spoon, and that one filly that I actually needed to memorize the name of – seriously at this point it's getting ridiculous – were present, even the teacher! Cheerilee was smiling up at the stage off to one side of the gathered audience.

Trixie wowed the audience with a few basic stage tricks, Like escaping a locked trunk, Pulling an enraged Angel out of her hat – that one got a surprised squeak from the... oddly enough present Fluttershy – and showering the crowd with flowers from the tip of a wand, All while claiming to be the most powerful unicorn in the country.

Apparently not everyone agreed with how the mare was running her show, as AJ, Rainbow, and Rarity began to speak over the general noise of excitement, voicing their opinions on her boastfulness.

"Well, well, well, it seems we have some neighsayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?"

Rarity blew a raspberry. "Just who does she think she is?"

"Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is—" Spike began, but was cut off by Twilight shushing him.

'Hold on, when the hell did those two get here?! Are they gonna be mad that I ditched class?'

"What? What's wrong?" he asked her.

"You see how they reacted to Trixie? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a showoff," Twilight whispered back to him, shrinking down out of the crowd in a manner very similar to a certain pegasus.

As Twilight shrank away, Rainbow shot up above the crowd, and made air quote motions with her hooves. "So, 'Great and Powerful Trixie'. What makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?"

'And now we're going off script, I wonder if she has enough flexibility in her routine to deal with this?'

Turns out, she did, as she responded to the question nigh instantly, with a spoonful of smugness. "Hah, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded ursa major!" She reared back, while more of her magical fireworks sprang into existence behind her.

This must have been an impressive feat, as several ponies in the audience murmured their disbelief, none were more vocal then Snips and Snails, though.

Trixie then went to explain her claims in what can only have been a modicum of more detail. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the ursa major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!" Her story was accompanied with wireframe illusions, and teeny tiny fireworks for the figure representing herself.

The two colts bought the story hook line and sinker, and proceeded to sing her praises, and how she was the most magical unicorn in the whole town. "No, all of Equestria!" Snips finished off.

"How do you know? You didn't see it! And besides, Twi—" The dragons lips were replaced with a zipper, and promptly fixed shut by Twilight's horn.

'Ooh, that's neat, I'll have to learn that one.'

Trixie laughed haughtily. "It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville." No one but Snips and Snails seemed so ready to accept this claim. "Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie?" She laughed. "Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvilleans. Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?" Yet more conjured pyrotechnics accompanied her query.

'Okay, now we're getting a bit pretentious'

The little dragon agreed with me, as he manually unzipped his mouth and pleaded with Twilight to have her deal with the mare. For whatever reason, Twilight wasn't having any of it, perhaps competing wasn't in her nature? Or perhaps she didn't like showing off. But suddenly, Trixie called out to the section of the audience Twilight was in. "How about you?" Twilight gulped nervously. "Well? How about it? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?"

Twilight stammered, but just before she could get her voice under control and up to a normal volume, Trixie refined her query. "Well, little hayseed?"

AppleJack rose up to her hooves, brimming with annoyance. "That's i-!"

"HEY!" the shout rang out with surprising volume, cutting off AJ and giving the showmare pause, the crowd turned to look at me, I ignored most of the attention I garnered, and pointed a hoof at the silver haired magician. "No name calling! You want to talk yourself up? Fine, but when you start putting down the audience, you've crossed the line. There are limits." 'Honestly, isn't that the first rule of buisness? Don't piss off whoever pays you'

Everyone continued to stare at me, and an uncomfortable silence began to permeate the atmosphere. I coughed awkwardly. "I mean, if you really want to challenge ponies to a sort of contest, shouldn't you do it in a more official capacity?" I actually heard crickets.

"Well, and here I thought you were enjoying the show, by all means, if you think you can do better, get up here and show Trixie what you've got."

"No thanks."

The confident smirk fell of the mares face for a moment, and she sputtered for a moment before I continued.

"You issued a challenge, and if you want to have a little contest, then we're doing it right." I turned around and addressed the librarian. "Twilight," I began, she flinched and looked at me with a mixture of nervousness and pleading. "You've got a rulebook for this somewhere right?" Her eyes lit up at the alternate venue I had supplied, she nodded and excused herself to go get it from Golden Oaks. "AJ, Rainbow, Rarity, you three were the ones bashing her show to begin with, so you'll be the competition, and anypony else who wants to showcase something their good at is welcome too."

"I, Buwha? hold on just a seco-" Trixie apparently did not have enough flexibility in her routine for the direction I was taking it.

"Surely the Great and Powerful Trixie isn't scared of a little contest?" I baited.

"Yeah!"

"You're strong enough to beat an Ursa Major!"

"You can beat a few ponies easy!" Snips and Snails were surprisingly, and perhaps unknowingly, helping me make my point.

"B-b-but I..." She protested.

"Come on, we'll make a whole thing of it, I'll ask around for possible prizes for the winner."

"We shall offer an all expenses paid trip to the Ponyville Day Spa." A blue mare with a pink mane spoke up from the crowd, a nigh identical colour swapped version of her was standing next to her, nodding in agreement.

"And we can offer a discount on shakes." Mister Cake offered.

"I can whip up a prize or two." A stallion near the back spoke up. He was a bronze color with a silver mane and tail, despite his young age, his eyes were a bright shade of gold, and he had a cutie mark of a basic chalice style trophy with a chisel.

"Then it's decided, we meet back here in an hour or so, to give everypony enough time to think on their routine?" I asked, the majority of the audience nodded and dispersed. when everyone had left I turned around to find a rather displeased looking Trixie.

"Hey, uhh, sorry about, kinda, stealing the show..."

"Trixie can't believe this! Why would you go and ruin her show?" She stomped indignantly.

"I said sorry, but first off, you're the one who challenged the whole town, and where do you get off insulting the audience? Surely this isn't the first time you've had hecklers at a performance?"

"Trixie has amazing powers, and has always shown those ponies their places for interrupting her show," the mare practically growled out.

"Eesh, alrighty then, so, can we do this professionally? I mean, if you are as good as you claim, then you can win this little impromptu contest easy, Plus this will give you another avenue to show off, won't it?"

She huffed and stomped off into her wagon, slamming the door behind her.

"Ah, okay then, well, I guess I'd better go get ready." I walked off in the direction of the library, when I caught sight of five of the six mares I knew best, three of them complaining to the other two.

"-And can you believe how self centered she is? You'd think she was some stuck up noble." Rainbow whined.

I stomped a hoof on the cobblestones to get their attention, but it was drowned out by Rarity picking up the lull in the conversation. Annoyed, I quickly zapped a noise amplification rune onto the floor and stomped again. It rang out like a gunshot. "You three, I need to have a word."

"Argent? What the hay was all that about, goin and settin up a big ol' contest? Ah' appreciate you buttin in, but some of those ponies have jobs y'know."

"Now you care about other ponies' jobs?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rainbow Dash crossed her forelimbs and narrowed her eyes at me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not much, just referring to how the three of you didn't seem to mind ruining her show."

"But she was so high and mighty, she just went on and on about how great she is and-"

"She's a traveling stage magician, you're supposed to play yourself up a bit in show biz, it's called a persona, or whatever the word is here... Point is, you three were terribly rude, I'll agree to the fact that she wasn't the nicest, but she could have had a bad time even getting to Ponyville, and if you weren't enjoying the show, you could have just left."

Rarity went to retort, but thought better of it, and walked off, probably to get ready for the contest. Rainbow and AJ were quick to follow her example. I sighed and sat down next to the remaining two mares.

"Hey Pinkie, I kinda also ruined her show by starting this whole thing, you think you could throw one of your 'Welcome to Ponyville Parties' for her to make up for it?"

"Sure can! I'll get started right away!" She pulled a notebook out of her mane and started scribbling down ideas, holding the pad in her mouth and the pencil in the weirdly prehencile curl of her mane, and idly bounced away.

I turned to look at Fluttershy, she meekly look back at me. "Did you get Angel back?"

"Uh-huh, he wasn't to happy about the whole thing. She just picked him up out of the field and used him in her act, without even asking if he wanted to join."

"Well, at least you got him back, I'm going to go figure out something for the contest, I assume you won't be entering?"

She nodded. "Okay, well, I hope to at least see you in the audience, something tells me I don't know what I'm getting myself into."

[Meanwhile]

With a popping noise and a flash of light, Twilight Sparkle appeared just a small way away from Trixie's stage. "Okay, I found the book on Improvised contests and I, Where did everypony go?"

Author's Note:

Heyo! been a while huh? sorry about that, but this chapter has been fighting me the whole way. I had a plan for it at one point, a simple A to B plan, would have been a nice way to ease back into writing this story. But then the car pulled a U-ey, I rappeled into a canyon, hopped on a submarine and flew to Kentucky.

anyway, I hope that you all get ten times as much enjoyment reading this as I did boredom, writers block, and annoyance. See you in the next chapter, whenever the hell that may be, in whichever story it may be in.

Comments ( 115 )

It be back tho, thx for chapter. 😊

Glad to see Argent lay down the law on the heckling trio. It really is bizarre that the episode never really chided them for trying to take a moral high ground over a stage performance.

9992825
I still hold that the Mane Six are actually not morally good, Except Pinkie and Fluttershy since they both genuinely believe in their roles or actually embody their elements properly. The others all fall on the neutral line at best, evil at worst. Even any conflicts related to Pinkie or Fluttershy 'being the bad guys' are almost always instigated by the other four. Party for one is because every focused on the party instead of who the party was for, and (I'm blanking on the name of the episode, the one where Fluttershy becomes more 'confident') is because Rainbow Dash pushed her to go to the seminars.

Of course, this excludes the fact that all ponies are very, very xenophobic. Except Fluttershy, Fluttershy is just scared of everything. Ponies in general are just sorta... Terrible.

Point is, I'm not a huge fan of the Mane Six... Except Pinkie, I relate to her on a personal level.

I had a plan for it at one point, a simple A to B plan, would have been a nice way to ease back into writing this story. But then the car pulled a U-ey, I rappeled into a canyon, hopped on a submarine and flew to Kentucky.

I didn’t know you traveled with Discord and Pinkie Pie! Are they fun traveling companions or are they sanity killers?

9992902
Funny you should mention that...
I'll have to keep this comment in memory for later.

In the mean time, how does one add a story to a group?

Oh my god I'm so happy to see a new chapter!!! I was worried that there wasnt gonna be a new one. I still hate those three for ruining trixies show. My twilight facade had a good chapter for that episode

9992865
I sort of think Twi is good, just her horrible neurosis pushes her to panic to the point where she does bad things.

It is amusing to see a foal become a voice of reason for the adult ponies. Interesting take on the episode. Hmmm... will Argent get an upgrade when the Ursa come to town?

the submarine was flying? it wouldnt happen to be called the Hootsforce now would it? all jokes aside, i am happy to see this update again and hope the next chapter comes out soon

9992908
Go to desired group page. Click add story. And select the story you wish to add.

I'm glad to see it continuing. Argent's solution to this conflict was clever, I'll have to give her that. Nice, too, that she was able to lead the audience into a contest.

'Ah, the latest usage of Physics-be-Damned. An interesting one, its either pocket dimensions, or size altering enchantments, perhaps a mix of both?'

Which brings to mind...

"Greetings denizens of Poniville! I, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie have come to grace your town with my arcane feats of Wonder!" The showmare shouted from her stage, drawing in a crowd. "Come and be amazed, witness the prowess of the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria!" She reared back and little magical fireworks sprang up from behind her to add flash and flare to her statement, drawing 'ooh's and 'aah's from the gathering crowd.

Hey, this was better than the actual episode.

*goes to check his tracked stories*

There probably isn't anything worth reading toda-

*sees new chapter for "That Time I Became a Friendship Bomb"*

CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY THIS YEAR!

It's alive! Now to wait until summer of 2020 for the next chapter

Oh...finally someone told off the hecklers......

Yay!!!

MOAR!!!!! .... plz and ty.

Awesome interruption! Harmony help the Bearers actually recall their elements.
Hey, things will turn out fine, nobody needs to fetch that Ursa mi-- oh dang it Snails!
Keep going! ;)

9992908
Step 1: be in the group.
Step 2: on the story page, there's a little arrow for more actions (to the right of the comments counter and stats), in that menu there is an add to groups option.
Step 3: be wary of groups rules.
Step 4: ...
Step 5: profit?

FWIW this fic is already in Human in Equestria - Human turned pony.

9993134
That's not saying much since some of the episodes were rather poor.

9992865
I don’t think Twilight is neutral or evil. Just a scientist who wants what’s best. Twilight opened a school for spreading friendship to other countries where it didn’t exist for crying out loud!

9994641
BLYAT! I’ve been found out as not knowing Russian! RUN!

Dammit! I was so hyped for a school chapter! :rainbowlaugh:

Now that I think about it I do hope Twilight finds out about Argent skipping classes. Not to mention why the class was there in the first place. I certainly would love seeing her get into trouble like that! :trollestia:

9994413
The School itself... Ultimately didn't do much. Not even the so called 'Friendship Lessons' did much. All that the School ACTUALLY did, was get the School 6 together. That's it. You don't NEED a school for that. But lets not forget that BECAUSE Twilight made the school, she FORCED all her friends to literally have a job/another job as Teachers, WITHOUT PAY, and a lot of the time they couldn't even be there to teach since they were out doing Friendship Quests for the Map. And again, don't forget, we don't see 'Every' Friendship Map Quest, it's hinted at that the group have gone on a lot of them over time.

I mean sure, the Episodes just overlooks the School Elements except on episodes about it, but realistically if it was set by logic, The Main 6 wouldn't even be able to DO anything. Rainbow could NOT be a Wonderbolt, because she would be at School for 8 hours a day, 5 days in a row, and thus couldn't do any practice or shows on those days. They would kick her out for something with the actual time to practice and be there for the events.

AJ would die from being overworked, as it's ALSO Hinted, that she has a massive chore list, Is a teacher at the school, AND bucks half the apples at the MASSIVE Farm, EVERY SINGLE DAY. In a realistic setting, we'd NEVER See AJ, because she would ALWAYS be 'Working'.

We've actually already had an episode showing how Destructive it was for Fluttershy, who works the school, and then immediently goes to the Shelter to work till night time and then goes home to pass out, and that's her day EVERY DAY, so doesn't even get Weekends off from school?

And on and on. The point being, Realistically, Twilight FUCKED over their ENTIRE lives by building a school and practically forcing the job onto them.

Well, that was pulled out of the ass. You just force turned the whole thing.

Ouch... Argent is gonna regret that when a few colts decide to add their own challenge to the duel.

I'm enjoying the fic, such an interesting idea.
Please have a wonderful holiday and I look forward to seeing where you take this story.

I've noticed grammatical errors have increased in frequency but aside from that I think this is really neat :twilightsmile:

9996793
I must say, you put a lot of reality in a world with magic time travel, sentient trees, and ponies with wings and horns. It’s a child’s show after all. Suspension of disbelief is the defense for a lot of things. And, as we were shown, Applejack had a ridiculously overly complicated chore list. By the way, we’ve had Applejack’s moral previously. Don’t overwork yourself, and be willing to accept help when offered it in a situation you can’t do on your own.

Hey all, I'm doing dumb things and making more stories than I can possibly keep up with, anyone wanna play editor for this new one? Message me if so.

10002897
Which is why I said 'Realistically'. Plus I know you're meant to Suspend your disbelief at times to help the story, but people forget that there is a limit and you can't apply it to everything.

10003324
No, but you can suspend quite a bit of reality in a child’s cartoon. Besides, I believe the school actually did do its job and showcased that in the series finale with those who weren’t the young six stepping up to get everyone on board with the idea of helping the mane six

I’m usually am more than willing to wait for chapters, but can u speed this up before I get jailed for avoiding the World War 3 draft?

So, did everyone just once again forget to do literally anything about Argent? Is he going to do anything to try and find a way home? Like talk to Twilight? Or the princesses? Literally anyone?

This is starting to fall back into the exact same issue as earlier in the story, where he's been forcibly pulled away from everything he knows, put in a new body, and yet despite being around several powerful magic users is doing literally nothing. He needs to sit Twilight down and figure something out, because his constant lack of any sort of effort on getting back to his family and everything he ever knew is becoming incredibly frustrating.

Please tell me that we're not going to let this story die. It should continue.

9962489
My sweet summer child

10047124
I seriously don't want it to die either

Any news?

10112848
News?
I really like writing in the third person now, so I'm probably gonna try and switch over to that, while fixing the glaring issues with the rest of the story.

Is this story still alive? :fluttershysad:

10136153
Yes, I'm just a bad writer.
I might have to completely re write this story, but I'm not letting it die

10136293
Well I'm happy that your keeping it around. Its a really good story. I'll just have to reread it in the mean time :raritywink:

10136866
I wouldn't be changeling much, but since the main way I get back into the mood for writing a story is by reading it, and I can't bare to reread this story, i kinda have to.

Then there is the fact that this wasn't a story; I had absolutely no idea what I was doing here, I just made a character and threw them at episodes, now, I actually have some semblance of a plan, and I can start this story moving again, probably at a crawl.

Most of the rewrites will just be me beating older chapters into grammatical submission, extending them a bit, that kinda thing. However, I've gone the wrong direction with the introduction of Trixie, and am going to be fixing that.

10136883
I will encourage you to keep the 1st-person perspective, since it helps add emotional closeness.

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