Chapter 15: Minepranks
"Argent? Are you in there?" Twilight asked through the door.
"...No." I croaked out from my position on the floor. My head was pounding, and my guts were still trying to wring themselves dry.
"Are, you okay?"
"N-" I was interupted by another round of dry heaves. "...N-negative..." I mumbled into the bowl of what had been my closest companion for the past half hour.
"Argent, I'm coming in." The purple mare informed me, I heard the lock click with magic before the door creaked open.
And how exactly would I stop you? I thought, wiping my mouth clean before getting back onto the floor. My movements were shaky, and hard fought, it had been a while since I had gotten sick, so I had nearly forgotten how bad my reaction to being sick was.
"Oh, you don't look so good." Twilight said, hurrying to my side and rubbing a hoof on my back.
The word is pathetic, I look pathetic, which matches how I feel. I curled up tighter, not saying anything.
"Do you want a glass of water?" She offered. "Or maybe some medicine?"
"I don't think I could keep either of those d-" my throat squeezed shut, but nothing threatened to come up. "down..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you need any help?"
"No, no. I just wanna lie here and feel miserable for a little while." I laughed weakly and forced a smile.
Twilight didn't seem convinced. "I'm going to contact the hospital, don't go anywhere." She said while standing up.
"W-wasn't planning on it."I folded my forelegs under my chin for some support. "God I hate being sick." Twilight left, and I lay on the floor shivering from the aftershocks of losing my lunch. My eyes felt heavy, and I had little strength to keep from falling asleep.
I groaned, rolling over. "I still feel like I got hit in the stomach with a rubber ball out of a pitching machine." I complained, crawling off the couch and under the coffee table. I lay there in my dream home, basking in my misery. "Ahh, so is this what I was putting off? This sucks..." several minutes went by. Just as I was starting to get used to my crappy condition, three solid knocks came from the door.
"Hello? Art thee present Argent?"
"Night?" I said, mildly surprised that she was even here.
"Indeed, t'is I." She confirmed, fiddling with the doorknob till it came open. "Thee doth not appear in good health."
"Is that Archaic for 'You look like shit?' Cause that's what I feel like." I was not up to the task of deciphering her speech at the moment.
"Thou hast most certainly looked better." Night Strider said, putting a hoof to my forehead. "How long hast the been like this?"
"However long I have been asleep plus about thirty minutes," I told her. "What are you even doing? This is a dream, it's not like you could actually check to see if I have a fever."
"We... we forget, sometimes." She admitted with a blush.
"I would love a bit of disconnect from my body at the moment, you know anything about how to do that?" I inquired, not really expecting an answer.
"We apologize, but we hast not the remedy for thine ailment. What hath reduced thee to such a state?"
"Uhhh. I dunno, maybe I caught a bug at the school, but no one seemed sick." I rolled over. "This sucks."
"We understand thy meaning. Being bedridden can beest unpleasant for a filly thine age."
"Unpleasant is not the right word. Extreamly annoying, that covers it better. And it is mostly because, I will simultaneously want do do something, be unable to do something, and not want to do anything." I forced myself to stand. "I'm gonna go find a cloud to lie on, you wanna come?"
"Pardon?"
Stepping outside revealed that we were in the regular dream, meaning i didnt have to worry about game rules keeping me from interacting with clouds. I yanked one out of the sky, and flopped down on it. "Ahhhh, so soft," I wiggled into its surface, resulting in everything but my head being burried in the cloud. "Dreams are nice." I sighed.
"Thou art quite fond of clouds art thee not?" Night Strider said, jumping onto my cloud's pillowey goodness.
"How could I not be? This is the softest thing I have ever felt. I realize that you are a pegasus, and therefore have always been able to experience this, but this is brand new to me." My headache was already on the mend.
"Fair," She admitted, curling up on top of the cloud. "One's first time experiencing a cloud is rather pleasant." She did a circle like a dog would, flattening out the surface, then layed down again, cooing like a bird.
Oh, my, god! That was adorable. I squeed, my face twisting into a massive smile.
"What?"
"That was fucking adorable!" I said, way to high pitch.
Night Strider's face turned from blue to red. "E-e-excuse thee!? What didst thou say?! We bethink not thee know what that word means!" she stammered.
I felt my own face heat up. "No, no! Not that, I know what it means, it is just-! It is also an expletive where I am from, although it is frowned upon." I know I have gotten comfortable around her, but I just swore infront of a child! This revelation was not enough to make me want to move from my cloudy embrace though.
"Thou jest!" She shouted, slamming her forehooves into the cloud. The cloud, true to form, made a "poff" noise, as the scattered cloud matter floated away from the impact zones.
The child in me wanted to giggle, but the adult that felt crappy at the moment decided against it. "No, I'm serious."
"And they teach this to children!?" Her wings flared out that I imagined telegraphed how appalled she was.
...fuck it. "No, they don't, but as one gets older, one looses their reservations about saying such words."
"How could th- wait, pardon?" She looked back to me with a raised brow.
"Ima go ahead and say that I can trust you, since you've never lied to me." Her mouth clicked shut and she cast her gaze skyward. Also, there is only like a fifty percent chance you are actually just a figment of my imagination. "So here goes, I'm not from around here."
"Thee hast said this before, how thou art from the Idahoof mountains."
"Yeah, that isn't quite true," I admitted. "Truth is, I'm not even native to Equis. I'm actually from a world called Earth."
"Er, thou art 'pulling my leg' as the foals say, yes?"
"No, I'm not, and I feel too much like shit to make this up. I was a nineteen year old college student, and I was human."
Night Strider said nothing for a long moment, most likely wondering if I was lying or not. "Thou art, telling the truth?"
"Yup, scouts honor, or whatever." I never actually was any kind of scout, but meh.
"But how didst thee come to beest on Equis, and as a child?"
"Magic I assume, I mean, that is a thing here, unlike back home. There was this claw, made of shadows and a drop of nightmare fuel, it dragged me out of my body and used me as a shield against a rainbow." Huh, it sounds wierd when you say it like that.
Luna
Luna felt bad for the filly, she had come to trust Luna with her most valuable, and suprising, secret, when she herself had not been truthful with her. "Argent, we must be honest with thee." Luna began, readying to drop the illusion that the filly had become so friendly with. It sounds as if she hath already divined the truth anyway. but before Luna could reveal herself, Argent faded from the dream world, suprising them both. "Somepony must have woken her... shouldst we inform our sister?"
The first thing I noticed was that I was no longer encased in clouds, rather the wooden floor of the bathroom I had passed out on. How I noticed this before my pounding headache I am unsure. The third thing I noticed was the light pressure on my shoulder, and some whispering I couldn't make out. I opened my eyes, and was rewarded with blurry vision and three quick stabs of pain from my crainium. "Ow..." I croaked. The soft pressure on my back started moving back and forth.
"..ts oka... rgent... r alri..." the voice drifted in and out of focus, or my hearing did, likely the latter. It felt like I had swallowed sawdust, resulting in a coughing fit when I swallowed. "...u okay?" Twilight asked.
"Eeeuughghh..." I groaned, emphasizing my misery.
"That bad huh?" I could hear the sympathetic smile in her voice.
"What time is it?"
"A little after six, Doctor Horse is on his way over."
"..." I have never heard a more on the nose name in my life.
The doorbell went off, signaling his arrival. "That must be him, come on." Twilight left the room, heading for the door. I slowly sat up, noting that I had all the energy of about three houseflies to work with. My hooves slid across the wood as my legs shook.
"Oh, what fun..." is all I could think of when I got to the stairs. "Nnnnope, I'm waiting here, or there will be more than one reason for me to see a doctor." I layed back down, leaning against the wall. I could hear vague mumbling from downstairs, and could make out that it was Twilight talking with some guy, but nothing beyond that. I lay there, focusing on breathing, eventually I heard foot steps coming up the stairs, it sounded like four different people, until I remembered that I'm not dealing with humans, but horses.
"Hello again Argent, I apologize that we had to meet like this, again." Came the guy's voice.
I lifted my head to look at him, he was a brown unicorn stallion, with a darker brown mane and tail, amd some medical equipment screen tattooed to his flank. "I uhh, don't know you."
"Well, that makes sense, I was the doctor in charge of your care when you first arrived in Ponyville, though I never did get a chance to see you when you were conscious." He explained.
"Well, okay," I saw nothing wrong with his story. "What is required for a diagnosis?"
"That's a big word, did miss Twilight teach you it?" He said in a congratulatory tone you use with children, I registered it as condescending.
"I'm not five," I snapped. "So could we hurry this along? My head is killing me."
"Very well, could you stick out you tongue?" He asked, pulling out one of those tongue depresser things with his magic.
The following tests consisted of; taking a flashlight to my eyes, listening to my lungs, and taking a cheekswab. Followed by running that sample through some portable medical device.
"Well, it looks like she is a little low on sugar, I'd recommend upping the amount of dessert she gets with her meals."
Did he just say I needed sugar? "What happens if I don't get enough sugar?" I inquired.
"Hmm? Oh, well, sugar is an important part of a pony's diet, without it your teeth could rot, or result in you feeling sick, as well as other side effects."he explained.
That seems, So backwards.
"Is that all?" Twilight asked.
"Well, nothing else is physically wrong with her, perhaps it's nerves?" He guessed.
"What is there to get that worked up over? She is a filly for Celestia's sake."
I am now inclined to find that likely. I thought. The doctor discussed the matter of my health with Twilight for several minutes, but after the first two the constant noise was curb stomping my brain, so I left. I slowly went down the steps, a little more sure of my footing than earlier. I wobbled into the kitchen, found the bag of sugar, filled a glass about one eighth full of sugar. Next I went to the fridge and retrived a few apples, I would have just gone for apple juice, but there currently was none. I pressed as much juice out of each apple as I could, funnling it into the glass. Fun fact, magic is sucky when you don't feel well, so doing all this required immense amounts of focus that I was fairly certain I did not posses. Once the fourth Apple was rendered a withered husk, I stuck a spoon into the glass and mixed thoroughly. I carefully brought the over-saturated mixture down to my level, and stuck a straw in it so I could cease the usage of magic. I took small sips of the super saccharine concoction, it was horribly sweet, but surprisingly to my liking.
The only thing that could make this better is if it was fizzy like soda. I thought. I curled all of my limbs up underneath myself and continued to take miniscule amounts of the sweetened apple juice.
Moments later Twilight came into the room, with Spike on her back. "All right Spike, we just have to make some simple sugar cookies for- oh!" She gasped, taking in the mess I had made of the kitchen, then me lying on the floor with my drink, which had already made me feel leagues better. "Argent, I didn't expect to find you in here."
"What are you drinking?" Spike asked.
"A diabetic coma." I joked. Spike and Twilight exchanged looks, shrugging. "Way to much sugar, diluted in juice." I sighed.
"Is it, good?" Spike asked, looking skeptical.
"Better than I thought it would be." I replied, taking another sip.
"Are you feeling any better?" Twilight inquired, cleaning up the mess I made.
"Yes," I said. "Sorry about the clutter."
"It's alright, but once you are done there, we better get you into bed."
I mumbled an affirmative. After I finished of my super sugary solution, I worked my way upstairs, now working with the energy levels of as sleep deprived college student, whom has foregone coffee. Huh, I guess sugar might actually be essential to my health, but that still sounds weird. I crawled into my bed, getting as comfortable as possible on it's non-cloud surface.
"Do you want a story before bed?" Twilight offered, micro managing the covers I had so lazily thrown over myself.
"No, how old do you think I am?" I said, offended.
"Ehehe, sorry about that." Twilight appologized, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Meh, your fine, ish teh t'ought t'aht counts." I yawned. Twilight gave me an odd look. "What?"
"I'm gonna do some things in the lab, just call if you need me." She said, giving me a nuzzle.
The sound of Spike snoring punctuated Twilights departure. "... I am getting too comfortable here." I rolled over and shut my eyes.
I came back to the dream world to find that I was once again in the game, and that Night Strider was not in the immediate area. "I guess she switched us back, but does that mean she already saw? Darnit, I wanted to be there to see her reaction!" I sped outside, looking for a trace of the pegasus, I spotted her standing atop the tower of her castle, a point I was now on level with. I snagged a cloud in my magic, and used it to glide over to her. "Hey Night Light, how's it going?"
"..."
"Nighty?"
"...how?" She asked, her gaze transfixed on my house.
"How what?"
"How, is that staying up there?" She pointed with her wing.
"Oh, that!" I turned around to take in the sight. "It's just a couple floating islands, not that weird in this game." I had picked up the chunk of hill my house resided, and just raised it into the air, then built a few more islands from scratch around it, at varying heights.
"But, but tis made of regular land! how couldst it stay afloat if it be not comprised of cloud!?" She shouted at me, finally turning away from my little archipelago.
"Like this," I placed down two dirt blocks, then broke the one below it. "Tada~!"
"Thou art using magic to make a fool out of us!" She poked the block with a hoof.
"Nah, that would be less fun than watching your reactions, you can do this too ya know, it's just how the physics of the game work."
"Truly?" I nodded, she dug into her bags, then placed down two blocks of stone, in mirror fashion to what I had just done. "Interesting."
"Now then, I'm going to go get some resources, see ya in a bit." I chucked a pearl back at my house. Night Strider looked like she wanted to talk a bit more, but I had just had an idea pop into my head. I ran over too my misc chest. "Alright then, now, what to name it?" I said aloud, taking a paper slip in my magic, along with a lot of iron.
The next step was getting back over to Night Strider's castle without being suspicious, getting caught would only ruin the surprise after all. Fortunately, she gave me an in, a cloud squished up against the front window of my house, with equish writing in it.
Argent,
We believe that we must speak about that which thee told us earlier the present day.
Please return to our home swiftly, we shall be waiting in the court yardNight Strider.
"Sounds like a serious topic, but it would also be the perfect opportunity." I tucked the item into my bags and kicked the cloud mail out of existence. I pearled into the castle, and applied the item to Night Strider's favourite not-sheep. I chuckled quietly to myself as Night alighted down next to me.
"Hello." She greeted.
"Hey, what's up?"
"We... would like to know if what thee said was factual."
"Ah, that makes sense, even my magic signature disputes my claims." She nodded. "Well, the answer to that is yes."
"Even that of the shadow claw? That as well is accurate?"
"Indeed. Why? Do you know something about that bit?"
Night Strider looked away, as if she was unsure if she should tell me. "...We doth. Twas a spell derived from Starswirl the Bearded's research, and dark magic."
"That sounds evil and illegal."
"Quite right, that twisted spell was created to bring forth a powerful barrier, to weather the blow from which its user couldst not survive, but nothing is said of it abducting fillies."
"Well, you just said it was dark magic, so it probably didn't get much attention after it was banned, so I doubt anyone really knows anything about it."
"Well yes but we- no thou art correct, little is known of its structure or usage, it hast been cast but twice."
"Including mine?"
She nodded. "If thou art truthful."
"So, what happened last time?"
"Nothing, the user still hath fallen, while tis a nigh perfect form of defence, it can only block one single strike, and from one direction."
"I'll have to ask Twilight about this, or maybe it'll be the focus of tomorrow's history class, that sure would be convenient."
"Tis unlikely, we doubt that they wouldst teach foals of such a gruesome battle."
...Why do you know it then? I shook my head to banish the question, No, she is being helpful, if I push the wrong buttons she might leave again, and not come back."Do you know anything on world travel? If possible I would like to go back home."
"We... regrettably do not, we payed little attention to such a subject after the mirror."
"Mirror?"
"It is, not something to worry about, we doubt it would bring thee to thine homeland." She said, stuffing her hoof in the dirt.
I am filing that away for later anyway~ "Well, allright, do you know anyone whom might be able to help me get home?"
"If thou agrees, we could ask our sister about it."
"Uhhh, sure." She cast her gaze downward, and was shifting uncormfortably. "Is something wrong?"
"We... we apologize that thee were ripped from thine home, we... know what that feels like." She rushed in and hugged me, tears in her eyes.
That... is not right, children should not be taken from their homes, especially if it was anything like my experience like she is implying. "Are you, okay now?" I aksed.
"We are, thank you."
"Well then, I think that should just about do me for serious conversations."
"We agree entirely, shall we play a game?"
"Sure, how does monopoly sound?"
"We hath never played, as usual." She gave me a smile.
"Hey, it's just more games from home, don't blame me."
Two hours later
"I can't believe she beat me on her first try." I mused, flipping through an empty book, filling in the bits of story I could remember. "I mean, there is beginners luck, and then there is hustling, which she has done before. I wonder if there is a pony version of Monopoly, what would it be called? Monopony? Ponopoly? Eh, I guess I'll ask someone in the morning." I said, turning to the next page.
ArrrGENT!" someone screamed in rage, and I only knew one person who could yell that loud.
"Better get ready." I smiled, stuffing cotton into my ears and casting a muffling spell.
Night Strider came crashing through the door with a ball of cotton in her forelimbs. "WHAT HATH THOU DONE!? WHY IS MUFFIN UPSIDE DOWN!? WHY CAN'T I TURN HIM OVER!?" she screamed, meanwhile I was laughing my ass off.
Imtorducing Luna to video game pranks sounded like truly a wonderful idea.
Fun fact time! The translator I use for Luna, corrects "child" to "issue."
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I see loses and losing spelled as looses and loosing way too often lately. At this point I don't know if you got my email about the other chapters since I never got a response and they're still spelled wrong. Usually writers like to fix what they can.
With that said...
This is not the first story where sugar is a health food, of sorts, and it amuses me.
Wait so -- She actually mistook a literal ball of cotton for.... oh gosh that's amazing.
Been really enjoying this so far. It's nice to see that the secret of Peter/Argent's origin is finally out to somepony. I really like these little interludes with Luna and although her archaic speech is mostly pretty well done, I have noticed a couple of times the translator has mixed up the tenses. Like that last line "What hath thou done!?" should instead read as "What hast thou done!?"
A couple of other examples are the lines "We hath never played, as usual" and "If thou agrees, ..." which would respectively be "We have never played, as usual" and "If thou agreest, ..."
If you'd like, I could PM you the link to an article that explains the usage rather well, complete with example tables. It could make writing Luna's speech a lot easier. It turned out to be far less complicated than I foresaw.
Anyway, keep up the great work. Looking forward to the next chapter!
EDIT: Gonna just cut out the middle mare and throw the link here instead. Hoping others may find it useful as well.
https://amovitam.ca/tag/i-havethou-hasthe-hath/
9746262
I think it was mentioned in the earlier chapters that Peter replaced all livestock creatures (except chickens, I think) with non-animal variants. The sheep were replaced with cotton ball monster things.
If you already knew that and just misunderstood the prank, then sorry. What happened is Peter Dinnerbone'd Luna's cotton mob.
Could someone explain what happened to Muffin? Never played Minecraft before, soooo.....yeah.
9746389
They named Muffin 'Dinner Bone' naming a mob or entity that with a name tag inverts them. So they're upside down and still move normally.
Next you can name muffin Jeb_
I found a mistake
Spawn a giant zombie :p
I have to wonder why monopoly would have a different name. Monos means singular, polion means sell, and it is eventually converted from Greek to its current form.
Better get used to it, you're in Equestria now. >_>
Great chapter! Thanks for the update!
Does this mean Pinkie is the healthiest pony ever?
Now you know the reason why I have cake three times a day.
MUFFIN? WHERE?
9746534
Because everything can be ponypunned.
9746428
That's possible in Minecraft? Wait….does such a trick only work with "Dinner Bone"?
I wonder how everyone's going to react when they realize that Argent was NMM's hostage and shield, when they learn how much she wasn't telling them (and also that at least some of her lies were things that they themselves misunderstood or invented).
I also appreciate keeping up on your weekly schedule; a lot of authors slip on something like that. If nothing else, I'd love to learn why, if dessert nutritionally important, they save it for last and eat other things.
9746264
Let me add another: "Thee doth not.." should be "Thou dost not..." There's really no modern English way of translating what you said; as a general rule, "thee" is used like "me", "thou" like "I". (I.E. "Thou jest" is correct.) Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thou#Declension
You may also want to fire your current editor; they're missing a lot of highly noticeable spelling and grammar errors.
At this point, the Minecraft dreamworld is a big enough part of the story to warrant a "crossover" tag. Which isn't bad, as I enjoy these parts of the story. I'm just a bit of a stickler for proper tagging in stories.
As an example, I try to avoid reading stories that have the "tragedy" tag (unless it's the setup for a revenge fic), yet I still get blindsided rather frequently by terrible stuff happening to characters in stories that make them unpleasant to read.
Its fun to pull off harmless pranks in a sandbox game, now I'm starting to see alternate realities...
...
Meanwhile in an alternative timeline Argent Vs Rainbow Dash in F-Zero GX
Gamingverse #2 Argent and the CMC playing Super Smash Bros...
ACK!
Darn my brain! why must it breach into the MULTI-Multiverse!
Seriously though, this is a very good story. Keep going!
9746871
Yep, only with that name. Sadly, could've been hilarious to do it so that it was a prank with a different name,
9746871
naming a sheep 'jeb_' causes it to turn rainbow.
9746752
To answer your question about Pinky, possibly. It depends on how the author gose about it or if they expand on the sugar thing at all.
If the affects of sugar are just reversed then it depends on if she has the pony version of diabetes, I know from personal experience that people with low blood sugar tend to act similar to those that are heavily intoxicated. Which would be the opposite in pony world then as to much sugar would have that effect instead.
Which would explain why Pinky acts the way she does but would also mean that she lives a very unhealthy life style that could easily kill her with her high sugar intake.
When Argent finds out that Night Strider is actually Luna, either he is going to feel betrayed, or the more likely option, he's just going to forgive and forget.
9749085
In large part, it's the circumstances- Argent is physically unique, and was already in a position where everyone involved would believe her. It would be like an elf with a working knowledge of quantum physics appearing near the CERN supercollider after they accidentally built a traversable wormhole- it wouldn't take much to believe that it came from outside our reality.
In those other stories, it's more akin to a little girl claiming to be an adult pony from Equestria to her service worker, while they try to ascertain whether she needs to be given to ICE.
She hit Luna with the dinnerbone technique a real classic
9746871
any mob named "Dinnerbone" or "Grumm" (first letter must be capitalized) through name tags, commands, or any other method, will cause it to render upside-down.
Haaa, Argent is such a troll. Though I wonder when Argent will realize that Night is something not an average citizen
9755401
HmM, yEs
Hmmm, and here we thought it was due to her essentially rejecting friendship at the school...
9746871
One of Minecraft's Devs, who goes by Dinnerbone, really likes to be upside down, so they added it and never took it out.
9817290
Dinnerpone.
9746871
Last I saw, it had to be spelled "Dinnerbone" but it could have changed. Jeb_ also makes sheep flow rainbow colors. Looks like "Grumm" works like dinnerbone. Minecraft fact of the day!
Good story so far, the dream shinanagains are such a joy.
Ah, so her blood sugar is low. Under normal circumstances, that would explain a lot. But Argent is far from normal.
Phph no comment XD
10187664
Ah classic dinnerbone
All of this, so adorable..
King Muffin The Grumm has Returned from the Nether!