Balanced Dawn an 'average' colt from Sires Hollow, one that wasn’t ever supposed to exist. At least according to his new memories.
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In the outskirts of Canterlot could be for the best option they are a noble house
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To close, they needed somewhere more secure and away from Celestia.
dawn is getting such up front help from nightmare moon? she must be starved for someone to talk to or pissed about what dawn's family is trying to do
alright
No I am not a light! shoo, y'darn mothponies!
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Starved for attention at least, back in ch22 she says she's only able to see his dreams but not any of her other subjects so it seems likely she hasn't been able to talk to anyone until now.
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just remember, Nightmare moon cares for the common pony, she just hates how despite all that, her sister gets all the attention. she wants the common pony to love her, helping a powerful colt is a good way to get such attention and a powerful ally, at least that's how I'm reading it in this story
I would Recommend a small town that belongs to them for a long time. And that everyone who lives there is deeply indebted to them or members of a unicorn supremacy group with the family as one of the founders or leadings members.
It would show how much influence and power the family have and make the springing of dawn that much more difficult or hard won
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I was thinking something similar so that’s what I’ll go with. Ty
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Lol fixed.
Wow! A lot is happening right now, I really hope justice prevails, and I wonder how it may not. Very eager to find out what will actually happen next.
Either option for the location would work, honestly. Outskirts of a city should have plenty of traffic to explain the train and not being noticed. Small town would be out of the way but the locals probably see literally everything out of the usual as strange. So, the real question is: How easily do you want them found?
11716970 why not might it two places their main house on the outskirts of Canterlot where they first visit and the second place where they're holding Dawn and Lyra is at Starlight town from the show.
A lodge in a secluded area makes the most sense to me. They keep their privacy, they can appease other nobles who get nosey by saying "Oh we're all going to the Lodge for a time. (Wouldn't YOU like to be rich enough to own a lodge you can visit as you please?)", and they can build it to their stupid rich person specifications. City outskirts mean 'suburb' to me. I know an unfortunate number of very wealthy people, and I can tell you from experience not one of them would "lower" themselves to stay anywhere but the most expensive spot in a city, or some place with enough land to not see your next door neighbor from your front step.
Unknown town would be more difficult to get to without being noticed and for successful egress; however, it would likely have to be a rural unicorn hamlet to maintain their cover -unless they’re smart enough to hide by using the same ponies they disdain as a cover… Most small settlements seem to be earth-pony, so it may be difficult to fabricate depending on what map of Equestria you’re using. Fortifications and potential unsanctioned magical escape methods would be easier to establish with fewer eyes and oversight. Could present some wilderness escape and potential wildcards (like an early Derring Do on a ‘pony girl scout’ training trip, random bandits, beasts that may make things worse for all pursuing parties, etc.)
A suburban summer home would be easier to reach and find but also easier to defend against with more neutral neighbors as obstacles. It would also present more hiding places -ways to hide a whole house (a la 13 Grimmold Place from H.Potter), ways to hide while escaping the villains, ways to escape from the authorities.
Shadow magic could be incredibly useful. Shadows exist under the space of the door. They exist in the keyhole. Not sure if they would pass the wards, but shadows exist despite the wards, so maybe. Definitely an ace to hold close to the chest. Hm… I wonder if one can manipulate shadows? Like maybe make some wings…
I really like how your magic fatigue exhibits signs akin to drunkenness. That could make all kinds of fun scenarios in the future. (Or as equally fun as booping NMM. Colt can walk around like a legend now.)
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I think a privet domain, that is very secluded area of Equestria with high walls, with near a unicorn town relatively near by might work well, with being maybe their duchy or something. The town could be heavily reliant on the family or have been ruled over for so many generals they don't see many outsiders and their education system is deliberaly controlled by the family to maintain their unicorn supremacy. It could even be that the domain is linked to magical porthole so on one would guess they even left their Canterlot home.
I would imagine they would start trying to drug Dawn make him more receptive to their teachings, or keep sick and weak so that he can't resist much along with the heavy use of the carrot stick approach expecting him to reason just like a child in using the reward system to get him to comply along with the selective show of affection playing on a child's need for approval and love.
I wonder where that curse even came from in the first place.
Looking forward to seeing more of this story.
Thanks for the update!
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I agree
K so just finished reading and I love this whole scenario, hopefully there's no misunderstandings that happen because of the timing here.
Also how do ponies age in this? Like our protagonist is only 8 years old, and he's about to help bust a crime ring with shadow magic. Probably also going to be a little traumatized or babied or something.
Still wondering if this is just the nightmare buying it's time, or if Luna is actually the one talking with him and is just bitter and angry or something.
Are sex scenes going to be planed or are those going to be off screen or non-existent? (Assuming he's above average because he's on the way to becoming an alicorn)
Anyways loving the fic, eagerly looking forward to the next chapter.
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I think this is the best option, small is easier to hide after all.
More,
Want more..
Cheat with the shadows spell and live gold spell, Use shadows to increse mass turn mass into gold weapons or a lock pick.
1) if weapons, murder time fun time.
2) if lock pick would also need a cardboard box and hope no Big Boss.
3) if you get the references you get 5 internet points each.
kinda hopeing for (!) ping.
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Can’t have the MC know everything
Over the past two days I have binged your story. In that time I can say that the quality has skyrocketed from the … less than ideal grammar at the start to now. Also, having read Life Finds A Way and understanding the concepts from there and assuming they more or less transfer to this fic helps understand a LOT of what is happening.
In short: looking forward to more!
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Ty very much. Yeah I kinda feel like I skimped on the word building lately to get to the meat of the story.
I'm liking the story so far, but I think it desperately needs a grammar and spelling overhaul. That is, in my opinion, its biggest flaw, especially in the early chapters. Have you considered using Grammarly?
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So I know the spelling had issues but why the grammar, considering a lot of it is supposed to reflect his confusion. I am honestly curious.
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Right now, the most common mistakes seem to be related to punctuation and run-on sentences. Still, there aren't nearly as many problems now as there were earlier in the story.
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I haven't read the other fic and I'm not getting lost or anything here, so I think you are doing a good job of it here!
I will be super upset if the "Grandparents" continue to breathe the same air as every other decent creature in that universe ... or any air of that matter
Cant wait for THEM to be GoldPlated(tm)
But ye, loving the fic so far, literally binged the fic in half a day, and i now cant wait for more
I hope the family if u can call them that get what thay deserve
I don't think this it will be the last we hear of them but Mornings aristocrat family are up shit creak with a lot of powerful and angry people heading there way with the only member that might escape it for a time being Frost in Canterlot.
Also won't look vary good I'd Dawn is caught shadow walking
One figured they were planning a foalnapping for awhile and two love the story and hope to see more relatively soon!
As for where they are held captive I’d say family land outside canterlot myself, makes the most sense being a noble house and with them being unicorn supremists, I’d think they wouldn’t want to be in some no name back water town.
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Canterlot is too close, you don't want to you know what in your backyard!
Personally thought there would be more attempts before a kidnapping one near the summer sun celebration which prevents him from interfering with the elements awakening.
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It could be right there or it could be almost 10 miles away. Near doesn't exactly mean right there.
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It can't be easily visible I would think. Otherwise someone would have already noticed the unicorn supremacy asholes.... unless that's already known?
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Among the fandom it is assumed that it’s pretty common knowledge that unicorns feel themselves superior and thus why canterlot is a mainly unicorn city.
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Exactly I have decided that they will be staying in a smallish village though to avoid detection so I will have more chapters incoming soon.
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Understandable it’s your story, can’t wait to see the next chapters!
Well, this story has gained my attention.
I'll be following with interest.
Loving this so far!~
-Rub
What?! as that already finished?! auhhhhhhhh~~ wanted more of this fic, this very interesting
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it would be an ironic end for them, they wanted so much that their lineage would learn their "Touch of Midas" for their greed that for their own actions they would suffer from... a final of "gold"
now all that’s left is for Discord, Chrissy and Shadow to get interested in Dawn
So, Dawn could legally be the new "Shadow Pony"? I’m just saying, the original is stuck in time
That was interesting. I'm rather excited to see the incoming shit storm.
You've used raciest twice, racist contains no E. Though I pictures a bunch of raciest ponies running all about racing this way and that because they are the raciest bunch there is.
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This is the best thing I've heard in a while. I think it's just amazing.
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Similar story
Me and some friends were playing Gartic Phone on Discord, and my one friend had people racing. But she couldn't remember the English word for racer, so wrote racist. Then the next person drew a very different picture XD