Balanced Dawn an 'average' colt from Sires Hollow, one that wasn’t ever supposed to exist. At least according to his new memories.
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If I made an alliance with this universe it would probably be just pears because I already got an Apple family selling their products and having two Apple families compete against each other doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
11817806
not inaccurate.
11817806
No bad don't make me get a stick!
There was an Applejack in G1, so it’s an ancient pony name. Older than the Platinums. I think Dawn is triple noble at the moment.
I know why the others weren’t there, but I still wonder how Rainbow or Fluttershy would have done a fancy party. They didn’t act quite as out of place at the Gala as Pinkie did. I wonder how many types of parties she’s aware of at this point…
Rarity gave our guy some good advice.
I can only imagine what Rich’s response was. Maybe an eyebrow wiggle at Spoiled and Silver’s dam? I’d expect a ‘maybe’ from the latter, maybe a ‘I’m not lifting a hoof, so if you want it then you have to come get it’-look from Spoiled.
Rarity to old for him? Not really, give it a few year's and that will turn into 'so he likes older mares'.
I can see flickers of where this plot is heading and I'm fine with that given it's slow burn.
Unlike some other's where it's like they dumped a gallon of gas on the flame. Wasn't happy with the progress and went and grabbed a flamethrower to speed things up!
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While I enjoy a slow burn, I really hope it isn't like 300+ chapters slow burn til we get to the adult content. One story I follow on AO3 has 335 chapters averaging 13,890 words PER CHAPTER (4.65 million words and counting) and that story didn't have the first lemon scene til chapter 96.
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Honestly I have been thinking about skipping a few of his school years and spending things up but on the other hoof there’s things that need to be included else the changes to the timeline when Nightmare shows up won’t make sense.
I could include some adult stuff with the actual adults though…
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Of course you need to show the changes he makes to the timeline (as it now seems less likely that Starlight Grimmer and Trixie will go off the rails in the future) but don't need to follow him when nothing mundane really happens.
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True. I am already doing some decent time skips now.
nice
A lovely update, a nice compact chapter of Dawn with family heading to a party.
So Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are sisters here?
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Yep, half sisters technically. I felt it would fit better with rgre and why Silver was always so loyal towards Diamond.
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Yeah. That certainly makes sense
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I've really been enjoying the pace you have been going at. The relationships feel more real while keeping up the feeling of satisfaction from the progress of each chapter.
I do understand being careful of rambling (Don't just rack up word counts lol) But I wouldn't worry :)
Now, i have double checked the wording here and i think i know what you mean in this paragraph.
But when i first read it and when i just rip it from context, it looks like Tiara is the same age as Applejack even tho she should be the same age as Applebloom
Maybe consider editing the sentence to end at something like "other young foals like Bloom" or if you want to nod towards our special colt's knowledge you could write "other young foals like Bloom and the other future crusaders"
Or maybe it makes perfect sense, and i am just a goofball
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Nah I did struggle with how to indicate that bloom and Diamond are still the same age in this but that Aj and Dawn would still be on the ‘foals’ side of the party.
I changed it a bit to hopefully make it easier to tell the difference.
11818240
Looks much better now (in my opinion)
Thanks for changing it
umpteenth*
I'm pretty sure that should be "have" since "partners" is plural, I could be wrong
OH MY GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY
I'M IN THE DESCRIPTION
THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER
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Thanks for the feedback.
Pff. Reminds me of this gem of a saying:
Contrary to popular belief, Clan MacLeod was not famous for making clouds. No, they produced something far less fleeting than that…
In my head, they went full JoJo
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Same here, with Dawn doing the Jotaro point with his wings while Mac went Star Platinum.
Just an average boring party. 🙋