Balanced Dawn an 'average' colt from Sires Hollow, one that wasn’t ever supposed to exist. At least according to his new memories.
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Oh no, big mama is here, they're screwed now.... Or are they?
“Escape part one”
Successfully escapes before part two.
Not much of a multi-parter. Could afford to change the name.
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It’s not just about Dawn escaping
11744055
oh ok
Thanks for the update!
Don't mess with the mom when it comes to her babies. I hope they rescue the mare that was transformed into solid gold. Celestia doesn't look happy she looks mad
Nice chapter, I feel the kidnapping is cut a bit short, but I can understand it's not the focus of the story. For the help of NMM, I wouldn't trust her for any deal made with her along with what ever manipulations they might try to have his sympathy.
Wow, the hammer is being brought down in force. Safe to say I don't think the grandparents will be able to put up much of a fight against Dawn's parents, Shining Armor and the Guard along with Princess Celestia herself.
They should've shown up sooner as he's sold his soul to NM already.
Celly won't be happy to hear that xD
Have we seen the maid’s mark?
The lightning strikes are cool. And Celestia just walks in the fray like a bawss hoss.
Poor Dawn never got to use his new smoke trick to escape. Whoops. Still made that deal, bud.
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Nope haven’t decided on the maids mark yet, heck she doesn’t even have a name since she was a slave all her life.
Oh boy it's going to be good to see Cakeflanks throw down. You don't want to piss off mama bear!
.....why did my mind come up with the idea of dream sharing and celestia breaking down and crying into NMM and her being awkward about it?
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..... could she be a blank flank due to oppression? Also no name probably means no mark.
Also if she's a maid maybe something like a feather duster and some rags?
11744628
Hmm no mark is actually an interesting idea. She has been in uniform this whole time so they haven’t seen her flanks.
So that last bit had a perspective change to balanced dawn from Celestia, but didn't signify the change.
Also why is my brain telling me that balanced dawn is going to wind up between the princesses as they both try and seduce him? (probably just me being silly)
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I second the no mark theory, for what it's worth. It makes sense that you wouldn't be allowed to pursue your own destiny as a slave. Unless they REALLY liked serving others deep down.
Besides that, nice chapter! I think it's good that Dawn doesn't have much agency in his rescue, since for all his talent and knowledge he is still physically a child, which is something I think serves the story well to remind us readers of. Looking forward to the next one!
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The maid could have found joy/fulfillment in the one thing she had control over, keeping things clean and tidy.
Alternatively if she had no mark till this point, she could have earned it here protecting the children, making her choice on dileberately misinterpreting her last order.
Actually, it'd be funny if it was a contract, like a lawyer. Finding loopholes in wording to take advantage of.
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Thanks for the edits going to delete your comments as I correct them but noted your contribution in the editor’s section.
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Can you make a blog post explaining the appearance of Dawn’s parents and every new character?
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Oh that’s a good idea. I’ll add the character list I have when I have a moment.
So Dawn has a resistance to fire that or her can't be hurt by Celestias magic. If the later then it likely applys to Lunas as well
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What do you mean? You mean this (—— that’s punctuation errors.
Crazy I read all this in like. A day anyways from now one you will be getting nice from me on every chapter
I am amused by the Dawn's continuing inability to not have interesting things and interactions occur.
Time to flay the grandparents!
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I would like to raise an issue:
Dawns dam having run away from her parents, knowing their practices and beliefs, does pretty significant damage to her character. Not having reported them makes her morally culpable - and, one could reasonably argue, legally - for every murder they have committed / been party to since she ran away. at the very least Onyx Star should have been an immediately recognized name to Celestia and Dawn's family should have had some form of protection, both as POI's for the case and as the known heir to a royal line.
(The royal line thing is something that I would understand if you don't want to pursue, it's simply a personal quirk that I really enjoy explorations and explanations of socio/geo-politics in fantasy settings.)
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So I’m going with she was threatened not to talk and it wasn’t as clean a break as Dawn was told. I’ll be sure to address it.
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Or just that keratine hoof is made of is a good insulator and melts at rather high temperature
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His hoof is smoking and he is a child with vary little in the way of keratin. Insulation is not a factor here
Transport hasn't happened so there's still hope.
Hooray new big sister?
As I said before, thou knowest not the wrath of the sun until it casts judgment upon thine heads. Repent wicked sinners for thy day of reckoning is nigh