Balanced Dawn an 'average' colt from Sires Hollow, one that wasn’t ever supposed to exist. At least according to his new memories.
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Celestia/Daybreaker seemed excessively hostile to good news. She should be thrilled they came to tell her. She's unhealthily possessive of that colt.
The autocarrot is strong in this one. 😅
Celestia is going to be floored when Dawn gets back. If memory serves he hasn't been forthcoming about Nightmare Moon. Surprise!
Enough tiptoeing, Dawn needs to know about how new concubines!
Celestia should be capitalised
Also yay Dawn's coming home
11898444
Ug sorry for that.
11898448
I debated on that since she was using it as a saying not the name but good to know.
should be Ugh. I know it's just a noise, but that usual one is spelled with an h. Don't ask me why it's there tho.
pretty sure you mean ever here.
Huh, those messengers work fast. Got there in what seems like a day. If they could get there that fast, so could Dawn. Why not just have Dawn go back and forth if the trip is that quick? "Hey I'm fine, but I met some cool ponies I want to hang out with for a few days." would probably fly, right?
11898501
Ah this chapter had a small time skip, I don’t normally do it mid chapter so it probably didn’t stand out but I mentioned it vaguely.
11898507
I thought the few days was when he was captured and traveling on his own and with cheese, not when he was found by the bats? The bats was just a single day so far if I recall. If that was the case, it should be several days.
(in my mind, few is 3-4 and several is 5-9)
11898513
Good point. I’ll switch the wording so it’s more clear he’s been gone longer. Travel time is always so weird when vehicles vs walking vs flying gets involved.
Geeze, Celestia got triggered. Will have to have a few talks with Dawn, maybe?
He’s going to have a Night Guard detail soon, too. That’s cool. Maybe Dawn will organize that for Luna’s return? Would be a nice gesture to give her a loving reception for the prodigal sister rather than just bringing her back home under cover and with silence if that’s possible.
Nice
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that you meant "cooked" here
11898556
been trying out speech to text and it’s almost giving me more trouble than it’s worth.
Dawn the Alicorn of Integration! Since Cadence gets the Crystal Ponies, Twilight takes over foreign relations with non ponies, Celestia handles day ponies, and Luna night ponies(Thestrals) it seems like Dawn will get the job of a more internal free floating political agent between the 4.
Now I'm expecting a rumor to emerge that Dawn is a descendant of Luna and that's why the Thestrals listen. The counterpart to Blueblood... who we haven't seen yet. The announcement of a new prince before he meets them will probably make him very... vocal.
Doesn't look right but unsure how to correct.
shown
Pegasi? Pegasus?
Quite
I know it's in line with the show but with names like mango and cantaloupe and them being obsessed with fruit I can't imagine how they don't have like a few hundred mangos and the resulting confusion. Last names?.
seems to conflict with
I'm sure we'll find out later but currently they are telling celestia they'll listen to him but they aren't telling him that for some reason.
11898615
Yeah they aren’t telling him he can give orders because they they would have to follow them if he gave one. thestral loyalties are weird to anypony but Luna.
Well at least celeastea did not shoot the messenger
Celestine is eat some more calming cake to ease her nerves with some tea
11898561
Ooooo yeah, rough stuff that. I have gotten pretty aggravated with it in the past which is why I prefer full keyboards lol.
I do know there is a software that was supposed to be pretty good but it came with a price tag. (not sure if I'm allowing to say names like that here) What software are you using?
11898702
Juts the generic Apple one but I’ll probably quit with it.
great chapter
You should rewrite it into "already out working for the night I’m afraid.".
They are nocturnal, are they not? Meaning, that they work during the night, not the day...?
11898631
I'm positive he's going to figure that out. If not before he leaves there city then once he gets back to canterlot.
The wrong bat jumping at a scarcatic order sorta gives that away
11899279
Oh good point.
Please pull a TIA THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER. As a joke or something especially since you got thestrals escorting you.
11898615
Relay. “as well as relay the council’s decision.”
Hmm. All internal commentary coming from Celestia, rather than Daybreaker. Perhaps all the stress has brought Daybreaker more to the front, thus the unusual aggression?
...There's no wait this is gonna go as smoothly as it seems. Celestia really should send some royal guards to escort him, as well.
Thanks for the chapter!
truly awesome story, eagerly awaiting more