• Member Since 25th Feb, 2023
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Aiwhisper


Comments ( 2578 )

"I pinky promise" I even went through the motions which caused her to finally laugh and heard the echo of 'Forever' in a young pinkies voice causing me to shiver. How does she do that? Magic silly.

This makes too much sense

I’ve read “life finds a way” and loved it so this is definitely getting put into my library. Also thanks for the chapters!

11672307
Well It hasn't shown much yet, but I plan to have herds, magic, and other aspects of daily life be similar.

Thanks for the update!

I can see the inspiration from Life Finds a Way. There’s also some similarities to Harmony Among Fillies. Unfortunately, I think that story was abandoned, because it started out pretty good. I hope you have some fun plans for Dawn. There’s a lot of directions one could go from here. :yay:

Pinkie hasn’t made her pilgrimage, yet that Promise magic is still well known throughout the land.

I definitely want to see where this story goes!!

Two solid chapters.
Things are really gonna get going now and I look forward to it.
A couple of things though.
A pinky is a finger while a Pinkie is a pony.
Also minitours should be minotaurs, though I am sure that they give lovely mini-tours of their labyrinths back home.

Thanks for the update!

Thanks for this update as well!

Ponyville not ready for Pinkie’s presence, guess they get a trial by fire. Poor ponies.

"That's a Rain-boom, good on Rainbow Dash." "Wait why am I outside and not at my computer?" "Why is my voice so different?" "Do I have a horn and hoofs... and SWEET CELESTIA I'm a unicorn." "And, I really just said that..."

Separate these paragraphs author

The breeze cool breeze on my burnt out horn felt wonderful after regaining consciousness. Judging by the angle of the sun I had only been out for an hour. That's something I could never do as a human. Ever so slowly I got to my hooves making sure not to stumble and started trotting home. Lucky for me all my memories as a colt let me control this body just fine... wait this is My body, right? I shook my head as I made it to my street. At least I'm pretty sure This is my body... Did I reincarnate or did My memories get shoved into the body of this colt or did I steal the memories of a human or... I let out a snort to cut off my train of thought as I reached home.

Why are so many paragraphs glued? And why are they still glued as a matter of fact?

I'm just gonna say it, your fic seems pretty cool despite the grammatical errors and random words like 'quite' instead of 'quiet' but... Did you HAVE to make him a unicorn?

This is the most BORING human insert there is, exploring the potential of the other two tribes while fighting against tribalism would be SO MUCH better.

Earth ponies are basically druids with super strength, With their internal magic and minor bio manipulation you could give them the power to transform into animals, something Twilight proved possible as a concept in the Breezie episode.

A pegasus would also be incredible, with the power to control the weather which could evolve into controlling the elements, gravity/mass control, and aerokenisis.

Unicorns have cool spells, but... They are boring as hell, there's nothing, new about them really, from telekinesis to time travel everything about them was already shown.

I personally suggest changing his tribe.

Comment posted by Aiwhisper deleted Aug 28th, 2023

11678670
So I left the paragraphs like that to indicate his confusion, similar to how when characters talk super fast they don’t space out the words. I could change it to make it easier to read.

11678676
Thanks for letting me know about the spelling, I went with unicorn since there’s plenty of earth pony stories around, Pegasus isn't as overdone but either way It would have been harder to introduce him to Starlight so soon or tie together other butterfly effects. Thanks for the feedback though.

11678438
TY, spelling should be fixed.

That was fun!!

Looks like Twilight might have two magic rivals and a romantic rival. Good luck, fillies.

I like all the little Pinkie excursions permeating into the world.

"well there was a unicorn colt with a tiny purple dragon on its back."

Does that mean Twilight Sparkle Best Pony and Best girl of the series is Male? Cos if that's true that sucks!

First was Twilight, She was sitting near one of the front corners looking ready as ever.

Thank god The typo (and it must've been one) from last chapter had me worried Twilight would be Male... You should probably go back and fix it.

11681734
No twilight is female, it was just her brother, I'll add the coat color so its a bit more obvious.

11681769
Ah okay must've missed that...
Though it does make sense that is would be Shining carrying Spike.

pretty amazing story can't wait to read more chapters

11672423
Honestly this fic is looking great. Also do you know of any similar fits to Life Finds A Way

MC trolling Cadence and Twilight hard. Loving it! I think Twilight is going to rival back and both princesses will try to get Twilight to befriend her rival.

Spike might end up a little less girly!

I wonder what our hero plans to do when grown up? He’s got some great experience to help direct his life choices. Possibly, he’ll be influenced by Shining Armor and consider enlisting? Or maybe he’ll try to follow Twilight to Ponyville?

Very happy for Starlight! I hope she is able to find Sunburst. Maybe she’ll be a good motivator and he won’t drop out. No telling what they’re going to do now.

I like how fun this is to try and guess.

Buen inicio, diría algo apresurado, y el personaje no está tan impactado por sus nuevos (antiguos) recuerdos, para mí creo que debería estar más nervioso por su situación, agregando que se sabe la serie de mlp.
Pero sacando eso me gustó el capítulo, se ve potencial :raritywink:

Two chapters in two days!? Thank you!!

Did Dawn find Starlight or Twilight in this two-day interim? I imagine he ate with Starlight during meals. Meh, he’ll probably see them during class at the least. Probably spent free time in the library?

That Sunburst. He’s going to be a tricky one to nail down, isn’t he?

So… he’s got maybe four years before the grandparents can try to get him over for a visit? Unless they’re allowed to just show up?

Can’t help but wonder what kinds of shenanigans Cadence and Celestia are planning for cute filly-Twilight!!

Bueno, cambio el canon de golpe, veremos cómo lidiaran los changelings en la temporada 6

A mom and dams are the same thing.

Three chapters in two days !? You’re crazy! I love it!! :yay:

Lyra, Trixie, and Moondancer introduced!! All potentially very fun for a story. :rainbowdetermined2:

Ooh, Twilight’s magic level and Dawn’s magic levels… and Celestia’s reaction. Curious. :trollestia:

Some Pegasus calisthenics for MC’s background: our guy’s going to get really popular. :rainbowkiss:

And the glowing?? …What does Harmony have planned here? :duck:

Thanks for the updates!

11684035
So when it comes to equestrian herds they are different. Using the MC as an example. His mom is Forest Breeze, she is not his biological parent but still his family and married to his dam, Morning Dew, who gave birth to him. His sire was just a contract stud and he has no real dad which isn’t uncommon in this universe.

Thanks for the update!

MC is henceforth under a microscope now from bullies and alicorns. :rainbowderp:

Wow, Trixie!! Somefilly’s a forward thinker. :moustache:

Don’t miss the meal date, Sunburst. She might break something far more important than a forehead-horn. :raritydespair:

Man, you are on a roll, and I am so here for it.
You're improving greatly with each chapter and aside from the consistent error of writing defiantly instead of definitely, the only one that really stood out was Sunburst going all prison inmate and shanking a foal.

"Well yes but If I did that I would no longer be able to come to school, Also my name is Sunburst," He was clearly shanking but also didn't quite understand the social situation. Enough of this.

All in all, thank you for the story and I look forward to even more.

11684594
Thanks for pointing that out, I'll get it fixed.

Caught a few typos and grammar mistakes.

I had spent the past to days getting familiar...

two

"You two were always better at the practical magic than I was that bust when I got my cutie mark __ didn't last so, it turns out that never really changed."

but
Seems like there is a missing word here '___'.

"yeah," I hip checked him then...

Yeah

Well then why don't we all head to Principle celestia's office...

Celestia's

...but Sunburst Is one of my best friends...

is
I'm not sure if you are try trying to emphasize that Sunburst is Dawn's friend. If you are than a more acceptable method is to italicize the word 'is' in the sentence.

"you can't hide the sun...

You


Enjoying the story and looking forward to more when you post more.

11684650
Thanks for the assistance. Made corrections.

I'd recommend keeping it 365, just for your own sanity and for simplicity.

11685475
Yeah after thinking about it I decided to just use the same calendar we have for simplicity.

My own sudden thought had caused me not to hear that last bit, "Oh my gosh. Dam, I have to go show my friends." though my excitement was just as quickly squashed as a memory of Sunburst leaving last year with his own fresh cutie mark came to mind. Add on Starlight growing distant and I couldn't help but to plop onto my rump. Starlight hates cutie marks[i/] My new human memories and of watching MLP caused me to finally realize why she had been avoiding me lately. She was afraid of me leaving too.

Formatting error, slash goes before i in the italics closure.

11684035
Almost, but one is the birth mother and the other is herd-mate of the birth mother. I forget which is which.

Interesting story so far, but a lot of spelling and grammatical errors. Still, its an interesting story and that is what counts the most.

They're all United nothing's going to happen and break up reunion..... right

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