- Member Since 25th Apr, 2021
- offline last seen 15 minutes ago
BlueDragon64
The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions
BlueDragon64
Joined 25th Apr, 2021 ·
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I like this story a lot could use a few spelling Error checks other then that I am enjoying it :)
Oof, this is rough. Not just spelling, but also punctuation and capitalization. Even if you don't have an editor, going back over your story and bringing it up to par would do wonders for readability.
Thanks for the updates!
Into my library you go!
ch1
excited
actually
loan
spell
excited
excited
career
every
get a
own
decided
ch2
Pick one "do the same effect", "create the same effect"
quarter
runes
ch3
*sensible chuckle*
clock
restaurants
Is it a batpony or a unicorn or is this a story with weird hybrids? Because that's practically an alicorn well not full power but still.
sugar
plates
put
metal
dial
month
ch4
crate?
either
ch5
split
plate
plate
sweet
thedraining
dims
motes
desk
claim (there's a spongebob meme here somewhere)
ch6
stare
you know not to do that
range
things
oh
it
hide
unknown
follow
How does she know it makes its own seeds? She doesn't even know what it is.
time
some
11818635
Thanks again for your help you've been awesome and I really appreciate it. :D
Thanks for the update!
11818874
Thanks here have another
Apparently this chapter came from the future it’s still February 7 but it was posted February 8
Ahh yes a true mystery the magic of time zones
runes
focus
I don't feel comfortable fixing weird sentences that are present all over this chapters without external aid at the moment with me not being native and all. The text is understandable, I can get what you meant with each sentence but choice of words and order often seems odd.
Nevertheless you are filling my favourite niche of fanfiction exploring magi/tech (considering your mention of one of gems of this site - Hold it Together being your inspiration), your writing could be worse and I would still read it either way. Let's see what future chapter presents. I do hope this chapter is only an introduction and mc will speak more often in next chapters.
Magree Limestone, first letters in names of ponies are written in capital Sir!
How old is he to work 8 hours? One one hand it is not like I didn't do it myself for money when I shouldn't. On the other, with all these time skips it is hard to tell and I recall him taking apprenticeship, not a full time job.
I see Evergreen is grinding even before he goes to sleep, does he ever tire? Wink, wink dear author, have him do something silly for once.
problem
1. previously
2. Discord and Sombra must use different type of magic.
Glad to hear that this mc is going to stay away from m6. If I got one dollar for every time I cringed from interactions of them with main oc I could probably afford to buy a shitbox car wreck to drive on.
ladder
1others
2helpful/useful pick one
This formating is tiring, please search word "chest" and replace it with chess. You misspelled it twice.
Black, green and dark purple. Nothing to see here I swear.
Reminder that days of the week and names of months are capitalized.
Shade you fool, this is the point of get poweful quick scheme! Enter the equilibrium - healing loop and ascend to new heights!
Ponyville this is a town, town names are capitalized so is Canterlot.
EDIT: I misspelled Ponyville myself lmao.
Ms. you know what it means but forgot to capitalize
Shade is going to crash the market and put ponies out of their jobs.
This is silly, are you sure you didn't overdo it? If he bothered to make 20 pounds of it and sold it every month for 10% of price you have provided per ounce he could buy 6400 (!!!) pieces of fried bread from chapter 5 for that. Even if we consider tea losing value each bulk sale he makes, in the end Shade would make big bucks out of thin air. That's too easy.
I were you I would put kibosh on his ability to grow only enough of this tea to be a small side gig or for his personal use only + Celly and few other ponies if you want to go that route for plot reasons.
But you are not me so let's see how you handle this.
So first thank you for the spelling checks. Second to address the way I was going with Shade's apprenticeship is that of an older type the main Idea being that ponies can go to further schooling or find a job or craft to apprentice at to learn that job or craft and in the past in the real world many but not all where basically just full time jobs where you also learn on the job with many starting young.
And finally as for his not selling the tea the idea isn't that he can't or even won't just that. One as a person Shade simply doesn't like attention. Two as the life affinity is very rare and the only know way to mass produce blood leaf tea if anyone started selling a lot of it they would have the public's attention pretty much immediately. Three Shade doesn't really need money his job pays decently well and he doesn't pay for rent and only pays for food two days a week he also simple doesn't have a need for a massive amount of money. And if he ever does yes he could start selling tea.
With all that said once again thank you for your help.
Ps I've fixed what you've pointed out to me.
ridiculous
pony
pounds
we
ounce
Interesting that they don't allow anonymous mailing there.
Also interesting that he bothered to include the name with the postage but not the card, from prior discussion and not putting a name on the card it didn't seem like he wanted her to know who sent it.
Plus it's a 128,000 bit gift which would be expected to gather some attention.
First thanks as always for the spelling checks. And while anonymous mailing does make some sense, I don't think Celestia's guards would like that very much as if you mail something to the princess that you shouldn't they will probably want to know. As for the note including his name it the box honestly, I just presumed that if you're going to ship something they will ask for your name but that's probable my bad using a modern world idea still I think it works though. And yes, he did want her to know but again name on the package although I probable could explain that better so I might tweak it some.
I saw the ( cock ) in the sorting room
I think u mean ( Clock )
Thank you I missed that one
11819643
Please note if you don't use the reply button it doesn't notify anyone you've replied as it treats it as a comment on the story rather than a reply to another comment.
11820143
I didn't know that thank you as always.
Agregado a favoritos
;)
11820292
Thanks :D
Thanks for the updates!
received
I hope to see you there
hello
sip
guard
I
As I walk home
11820505
Thank you as always for your help. <3
11820525
Thank you for the good chaptor aswell
Can I please get some links?
11821291
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/523177/life-finds-a-way
and
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/515483/hold-it-together
or
finally
matrix
none
for
11821318
As always thanks. Also you’ve been helping me a lot so if you want something like your name at the end I can add it.
Thanks for the update!
either
Celestia
received
some
before making it to the backroom.
normally
I don't think I'll be training this
dinner
So I need to ask. Do earth ponies in this fic not use life magic? If so then how are they able to farm so effectively?
11822288
Mostly cutie marks the idea is that cutie marks give a small but useful boost when doing what your cutie mark represents for frames this would be them becoming more efficient. And thank you for the interesting question.
11822264
Thank you as always. :D
Thanks for the update!
Knowlege of what light is for the win. So not only is his inventions gonna be helpful but his knowlege imparted in his spell circles in his creations as well. That is if they figure out what the numbers mean, but hey it’s better to have the number and try to find out how it fits then not have it at all and try to figure it out from scratch.
11822379
Thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed the story so far.
Finally, dialogue!
11822607
That's fair.
Ore of a personal preference but instead of saying “time skip” using a symbol or the line function “
” might be a bit cleaner.
11824091
I've thought of using the line function but as time skips become less frequent I decided against it. Hope your enjoying the story.
Changeling egg?
11824146
Oh that would be more interesting than a dragon egg for sure. Love the story so far btw.
11824179
Thanks. :D