Phil Phillips isn't your everyday slacker. His life practically redefined relaxing and his antics practically redefined ridiculous pranks. One day however, life decides to give Phil a taste of his own medicine when the effects of an ancient comet send him to the magical pastel world of Equestria, but not without consequences. The after effects of the comet give him an odd, unwanted power. Whenever Phil gets wet, he becomes an irresistible mare magnet! Can Phil survive the onslaught of horny mares?
Not a self insert.
Takes place immediately after the events of "Keep Calm And Flutter On."
Side note: All chapter titles will be Led Zeppelin song titles. Because fuck you, that's why. All rights reserved.

This story is a sequel to Harbinger, randomness of George

I'd tell you that you don't need to read the previous story, Harbinger, randomness of George, but given that I can't accurately summarize George in the loosest sense of the word. It is required reading.

It's a one shot, even if the end doesn't shout 'One Shot!' at your face holes.

Edit: I lied! MWAHAHAHAHA!

No Cover Art, because screw tradition.

Here's something you probably don't know about the workings of the universe. In between each dimension is a space known as The Ether. Here a force known as The Guardians patrol the boundaries between each of the galaxies. When a leak is found they quickly fix it and restore balance to the universe. But suddenly a catastrophe has struck, multiple leaks have been detected and they are all flowing down to a single dimension that holds a single solitary world known as Equestria. Creatures are using the leaks to invade the world and the Guardians are fearful for the survival of the Equestria. The amount of damage could tear it apart. So they call in their top agent. He is a being known as the Wanderer. A human in appearance he is nothing short of amazing, able to change into any shape and wield any weapon. His powers are limitless and his ego matches it. Is Equestria ready to handle a visit from an unstoppable and over-charismatic enigma?

As Big Mac would say: "Nnnope"

Dedicated to Robin Williams.

The critics are raving:

"This is one of the few stories I've seen that involve original characters from the sole imagination of the author, and I thank you for making it. - Irongalley

"I had tears I was laughing so bloody hard." - Doctor Magnum

"Words cannot discribe how awesome everything I just read was
10/10 game of the year" - Setlef a.k.a Silent Charger

"I APPROVE! I goddamn fucking approve!" - Angels

Thewatcher509 calls it an "Awesomely Epic Super Extravagant Spine-Busting Action-Smashing Swash Buckling Tear Jerking Game Referencing Music Accompanying Enigma-Appearing Story"

So lock in and buckle up for the most wildest ride of the century. Prepare for everything and expect the completely unexpected!

Open links in a new window for optimal experience.
Rated teen for language and some adult content
Crossover tag added for appearances by some special characters.

Spartans never die, they're just missing in action. This has never been more true for Jorge-052 as, after activating the slipspace drive that was supposed to kill him, he is instead flung into a strange world where war is but a distant memory. Will the aging soldier be able to adapt to this new peaceful planet? Or will his only salvation be found in finding a way back to his own chaotic universe?

(It's my first time, so be gentle)
Now featuring a TVTropes page by Sabo88

After a spell goes wrong, a mage named Connor finds himself in the so called peaceful land of Equestria. But not all is as it seems, as the already shaky relationship with the bordering griffin nation comes to a boil and Connor finds himself at the center of it all.

She was once a great mare, the pride of Equestria's rulers.
The sole wielder of the element of magic...
Now but a shell of her former self after just one tragic night... and the long months that followed.

Because what would it be like to have your closest friend violently taken away from you?
Even after a full year with no sign of him, would it ever seem possible that he would ever be seen again, or that he was even alive?

Twilight Sparkle, with the help of her friends, attempts to rebuild her life from the ground up after a full year of dwelling in the past, and trying to find any trace of her former assistant.
Spike's gone, but does Twilight have what it takes to bring herself back from the same void?

This story, and the Kirin Chronicles as a whole, are being rewritten and published as a new story due to the size of the adjustments.

Part I of the Kirin Chronicles
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It's Twilight Sparkle's coronation day. She's ready to go, all dolled up by Rarity, and the three Princesses await her okay on the spell. She nods. Their horns light, and a deep warmth spreads through her. She closes her eyes.

"Nn- Twilight!"

Her eyes open. Spike, running towards her. His claw brushes the magical aura surrounding her. A roll of thunder echoes, and he is thrown against the wall. The magic surrounding her rises in turmoil, battering and burning, and it's all she can do to stay awake. It ends with a snap, dropping her to the plush ground in a heap. The Princesses are crying, Spike is unconscious, and Twilight... Twilight is no longer a petty Unicorn.

But she's not much of an Alicorn either.

---

Initially featured from February 8th, 2013 - February 11th, 2013.
Part II of the Kirin Chronicles
Part III of the Kirin Chronicles

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** This story was written when I was 15, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **

Now has a sequel! Celestia Does Stuff in Ponyville While Other Things Happen Elsewhere

"Your Majesty!" "Your highness!" "My princess!" "My Sweet Goddess!"

These are all titles that Celestia has heard her little ponies call her. They hold her in the highest esteem, praising her for every little complement she gives them, and they look for her approval above all else.
Even her student Twilight treats her very highly, although that could be chalked up to a mother/daughter relationship. In fact, the only ones that don't treat her as a high and mighty, so-far-above-from-the-world-you-would-not-understand ruler were those not under her, and her sister.

Yes, everypony worships the very ground she treads upon.
And she is sick and tired of it.

With the help of her dear sister, Twilight and her friends, our beloved princess will seek out a way to put an end to the high level of praise that she has, Luna is jealous of, and Twilight is worried about receiving because of her status-- no matter how humble her subjects are to her.

The picture here seemed to get the premise of the story right. yes, sue me, I picked a picture to fit with the story, not a story for the picture. Please give the artist your full appreciation!

If you want to read the old and rejected chapters, consult this link [Clickey!]

Andrew was your ordinary, every-day, run-of-the-mill human. He had a boring job, nobody he could call a girlfriend, and basically, nothing to work with. One night, he comes home from yet another boring day of work and passes out in bed. Meanwhile, in the magical land of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle makes a wish upon a star. A wish to meet her soul mate. If only she knew what she was in for...

This story is cancelled, but it is being continued by a good friend of mine. Here's a link.

The sequel to Wayward Courier. Read that first, or you'll get lost.

Two months after his first visit to Equestria, Thomas has returned. And this time, he's not alone!
Now the ponies have to deal with not only him, but a depressed snarky ex-Scribe and a Brotherhood Ghoul with her own list of incredible achievements and emotional baggage.
However, things aren't well in Equestria, as they quickly find out...

All major details relating to Season 3 are non-canon to this fic.