//------------------------------// // The Doctor Chapter: Commence geek out! // Story: Our Guardian Enigma // by The Eccentric Mister E //------------------------------// He was sitting on an outside patio with a wonderful view of the capital city of Canterlot as it was called. He was sitting on a chair that was much too small for him but, with a lot of prayer, it did not break when he planted his ass in it. He removed his hat and glasses and positioned the umbrella as high as it could go and opened it, creating a nice ring of shade against the rising sun. It had been a grand total of two days since the fight against Black Adam and he had not stopped thinking about that. About whom the super-villain was talking about when he said he had been sent with the promise of conquering this world. His thoughts were interrupted by the aroma of his favorite morning drink and smiled as a tray of two smoking cups came floating through the restaurant door as his favorite dark blue alicorn walked out with it grasped in her magic. The Wanderer stood and bowed to the princess and said in a cheerful voice, “Good morning princess Luna. So good of you to join me on this beautiful morning.” Both he and the princess had gotten into the habit of meeting every morning for coffee as a way of exchanging news and just chatting. Both had developed a sort of friendship although Luna thought that it was the strangest friendship she had ever been in. She placed the tray down and took her seat as the Wanderer sat down as well, being careful not to break the chair. “Good morning Wanderer,” Luna said in a calm and content manner, “I hope you were actually able to find some sleep last night?” The Wanderer waved his hand and said, “Nah. Spent most of it just roaming the forest. We guardians run off a different form of life than you lot. As immortals we basically don’t need to sleep or eat and drink for that matter but…” He reached for his cup and held it against his nose as he inhaled the strong odor and took a hearty sip of the hot stuff. He let out a sigh as steam escaped his lips, “I was never one to turn down a good cup of Joe.” Luna raised an eyebrow at this, throughout the time she had gotten to know the Wanderer she had slowly gotten used to him but there was always something to surprise her whenever they met. “So why do you eat and drink and sleep if you do not need it?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her as usual when it came to learning about the Guardians. “Well,” the Wanderer began, “For enjoyment mostly. We can eat or drink whatever we want and not feel full or get fat or anything. Some feasts held at the Citadel can go on for years at a time. We can still get drunk and all but it takes some powerful stuff to do so and if a Guardian does get drunk it usually leads to a big mess.” “Have you ever gotten drunk Wanderer?” The Wanderer just smiled in that “maybe” style as he took a drink of his coffee. Luna kept herself from laughing and decided to ask about something else, “So why do you smoke those cigars then?” “Because they taste good like I said,” he pulled one out of his coat and lit it with his lighter, the silver Zippo sparking wildly as he struck it. He took a big inhale and let out a cloud of smoke that changed from white to blue. “And the best part is, it doesn’t kill my lungs or anything else in my body so chain smoking is harmless.” Luna coughed as the wind blew the pungent smoke into her nostrils, “*cough* well the rest of us aren’t so lucky Wanderer so do manage to not smoke around company.” The Wanderer flicked away the used ashes on the end of the cigar and said, “Sorry your highness.” Luna took a drink from her own cup and decided to get to the subject their meetings were usually about, “So what’s the situation so far Wanderer? Have you determined how long it will take before our world is safe?” The Wanderer let out a disheartening sigh and said, “Not exactly princess although things have been going smoothly so far. No one has been hurt and the balance on this world is relatively stable. However, that last fight has me worried. If someone is hiring baddies from other worlds to come here and destroy this one then this whole situation has gotten a whole lot more dangerous. I have no way of telling what might hit us next but be assured I am prepared for it all.” Luna seemed to have become more worried over the course of his briefing. She wished there was some way to find out where the next attack would be and how to stop it. As if God himself had lowered his hand to flip the switch, a light bulb suddenly appeared over her head. “That’s it!” she cried out. The Wanderer reached over and yanked on the bulbs switch and the glowing orb poofed away as he said, “What’s it sunshine?” Luna stood up and quickly downed the rest of her coffee and said, “Come with me. There’s someone I want you to meet.” The Wanderer raised both of his eyebrows as Luna began to quickly walk off the patio and towards the library. He finished his cup and stood as well, sticking the still lit cigar in his mouth as he ran after her. It wasn’t long before they reached the library. “So are you going to tell me who you want me to meet or is it going to be like a Christmas surprise?” the Wanderer asked as Luna knocked on the wooden door. “I think I’ll keep this one a surprise.” She answered with a wink. "Ahh I hate surprises...." John said while turning away and scanning the town. Luna noticed his odd behavior and decided to ask, "Is something the matter?" "Well it's just that that pink pony uh....Pink Poop or something?" "Pinkie Pie?" "Close enough. Ever since she told me she was going to throw me this awesome party I've been on the lookout for her but I haven't seen main or tail of her anywhere." Luna was instantly concern by this news. If Pinkie Pie was planning something big.... "I'm sure it will be fine Wanderer. I'll talk to Twilight about it if you want?" "Yea that'll help a bit. Thanks Lu-" *WHAM!* "HIII GUYS!!" At that moment several rather humorous things happen. One, Pinkie had flung the door outward, smacking Luna right on the nose and sending her flying into a bush. Two, a very startled Wanderer had conjured the first weapon to come to his mind and raise it straight out at the attacker who was Pinkie. This caused Pinkie who was in the middle of yelling out "HIIII!!" in her usual high pitched voice to suddenly find herself giving a blow-job to a Jackhammer MK3A1 shotgun. Oh, and Twilight, in a desperate attempt to stop Pinkie, ran right into her backend which resulted in a rather awkward, yet hysterical, outcome.........you have one guess to where her mouth landed.... Don't worry! This is a strictly non-mature story! We are keeping it clean! Sort of..... Anyway! The Wanderer managed to stop his trigger finger just a hair's inch from pulling the trigger when he saw whose face he was sticking his gun in. "Jesus fucking Christ, Pinkie! What the hell?!" he shouted at the pony. Pinkie just smiled as best she could with the 12-gauge barrel in her mouth. She then started talking but thanks to the gun, it was all warped and muffled. She began to ramble about something and didn't even seem worried at all by the big gun. The Wanderer noticed Twilights awkward position and her shocked expression at where she had come to a stop. "Um, Pinkie?" The Wanderer tried to say but the party pony kept on talking. The Wanderer then just gave her this look: And pulled the trigger….. Luckily, due to the fact that Pinkie was a native to the world, all the blast did was throw her off the gun like a cork and send her flying back into the library, dislodging Twilight in the process. "Wheeeeee!" Pinkie cried before an impressive crash could be heard somewhere inside the library. The Wanderer looked down at Twilight whose face was scrunched up and she had a rather horrified look on her face. He then checked on Luna who was upside down in a bush waving her legs in the air in an attempt to dislodge herself. The Wanderer then found himself trying to hold back a wave of laughter as little spurts came out as he walked over to Twilight. “Ugh!” she cried, “That tasted like rancid cupcakes.” And then The Wanderer just slowly fell to the floor as laughter shook his body. His laughter was a dry one from the lungs that resonated throughout the entire building. It started out slow then built up to its full volume and was a mixture of creepy and joyful. He inhaled a lungful of air several times and released it in howling shouts of laughter that caused Twilight to step back a bit. She had never heard a laugh like that before. It was different from Wanderers casual laugh. Luna had finally dislodged herself and walked through the door to see the Wanderer on the floor rolling around as he tried to bring his laughing streak to an end. “Um Wanderer? Are you okay?” she asked, a bit worried now due to the fact that John was now coughing quite loudly. He took in several deep breaths as he steady himself and hauled his body to his knees. “Yea I’m okay.” he answered before turning to Twilight, “How about you? Are you okay Twat-ImeanTwilight! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Then he was back on the floor and Pinkie had now joined him in the laughing marathon as both princess and bookworm facehoofed together. A few laugh-filled moments later, Wanderer, Luna, and Twilight were now at their destination which happened to be a rather old and foreboding clock tower on the edge of town. It looked like it had seen better days. "So, would you mind finally telling me who it is I'm meeting?" The Wanderer asked. "His name is Time Turner and he's a sort of mad genius. He works on creating artificial magic which he calls electricity." Twilight answered. "Ahh so he's like your world's Thomas Edison?" The Wanderer mused. "Who?" asked Luna. "Nothing nothing. So how do you know he can help?" "Well, he has this device which can do some pretty cool stuff and I'm sure he can use it to track your leaks. Just need to ring the doorbell." Twilight said as she used her magic to pull on a string next to the tall door. The resulting melody of the bell was a haunting and familiar tone to the Wanderer. He thought he had heard it before but he couldn't be sure. The ringing ended and after a while, no one came to the door. The Wanderer looked down at Twilight who gave a sheepish smile and went to pull the cord again. But before she could, everything went crazy again. All of a sudden the huge bells in. The tower started ringing erratically and the loud sound caused the three visitors to cover their ears. Then the clock hands began to spin wildly around, stopping and spinning again in opposite directions at random moments. The wind began to swirl around the building at high speeds as bright lights shone from the windows and arcs of lightning erupted from the top. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" The Wanderer cried above the wind. Luna and Twilight couldn't answer him but then above all the chaos, a sound reached his ears. It was a sound that he thought he would never hear again. It started with a soft boom and then it was followed by a dull roar that went on in a steady volume before rising up and down and up and down in a rhythm that that the Wanderer knew all too well. It was the engine of the greatest starship to ever exist and as he listened an old rhyme came to him. "Something old....something new....something borrowed.....something blue...." He turned to Luna and Twilight and yelled, "I KNOW THAT ENGINE!" before charging the door and planting his boot right in the middle of it, breaking the lock and flinging it open. All three of them rushed through and ran to the inner lab and as the Wanderer turned the corner he found himself facing the source of the uproar......a blue police box. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space..." he said in awe, "There's a sight I thought I would never see again." "What's it doing?" Luna asked. "Trying to take off it looks like..." Wanderer said but then a high pitched screech came from the box as the sound of the engines started to grind together. The Wanderer quickly covered the two ponies with his jacket as sparks erupted from the box and everything became obscured by black smoke and the sound died and all became dark and quiet. "Everyone okay?" the Wanderer asked while covering his face with his jacket. Both Luna and Twilight were both coughing from the smoke but they nodded as they covered their faces as well. "We need to clear all this smoke out." The Wanderer thought. "Twilight! Luna! Open all of the windows with your magic! I'll blow out the smoke!" The two magical ponies nodded and in a swirl of lavender and cobalt, all of the windows flew open and the Wanderer summoned a huge industrial fan and turned the switch to "High". The high powered wind blower successfully directed all of the smoke up and out and the room was cleared in just mere seconds. The Wanderer's fan cleared away as well and he looked around the room to make sure everything was in order. That's when the door to the blue box opened and out stepped an earth pony with brown swept back hair, tan fur........and a bow tie. "*cough cough hack!* Gah! I almost had it working! Of all the rotten luck! How could things possibly go worse for me?!" That's when he noticed the Wanderer and as their eyes met, they both knew exactly who they were staring at. "You...." The Wanderer said silently as his hands started to glow. "Oh my...." said the Doctor in kind. A few still moments passed as Luna and Twilight looked back and forth between the two before the Wanderer suddenly lunged out at the pony. But the small equine ducked and scampered under a work table stacked high with odd junk. "Get back here!" The Wanderer cried as he started chasing the Doctor around the table and TARDIS. Ok real quick....the Doctor and the TARDIS have just appeared in my story and I'm writing about them....is anyone else besides me geeking out a little? The Wanderer dove for the pony but missed and collided with the table, knocking over the mountain of junk on top of him. The Doctor took that time to catch his breath and try to calm things down. "Wanderer! So good to see you again. Uh....I know you must be pretty upset but if you would allow me to explain things um...." The pile of junk suddenly exploded out as the Wanderer stood to an elevated height with red eyes. "Explain! Sure why don't you explain where the hell you've been and what the hell you're up to?!" He then tried to catch the Doctor again but we all know how hard that is. The small pony/time lord ducked and ran for the door. "That isn't even your real form!" The Wanderer cried before launching a ball of power at the Doctor which hit him in the back. He was enveloped by the light and before Luna and Twilight's very eyes, he changed. As the light faded, a new creature suddenly fell to the floor and he looked very similar to the Wanderer. He wore nice brown shoes and brown slacks with suspenders over a light blue button-up shirt with a brown fancy jacket and a red bow-tie. His hair was brown and slicked back almost reaching his shoulders and he had wide cheekbones and stark blue eyes. The now changed Doctor hauled himself to his elbows while cradling his head. He was nursing a headache when the Wanderer suddenly picked him up and slammed him against the wall. “Ow! Is this really necessary?” he asked. “Necessary?” said the Wanderer, “Yea I think it’s necessary. Do you know how long I’ve been searching for you?!” “Wanderer, stop it! That’s enough!” Luna cried out. The Wanderer just tightened his grip on the Doctor. Twilight then carefully approached him. “Wanderer, what’s going on? Who is he?” “He is the most wanted man in the whole of creation. He has caused more catastrophes than I care too count.” “Yes yes yes.” The Doctor said, “I admit I did make some boo-boo’s in the universe but they were all for the good and protection of it. You know that everything I did was for maintaining the balance. But you Guardians are all so gung-ho about every mishap. All shoot first and ask later.” The Wanderer tried to answer but couldn’t. The Doctor had a solid point as usual. But he knew that the council had it out for the Time Lord, the all did. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lock you up.” he said. “Because….” the Doctor said as he tried to come up with and answer, “The only reason YOU would be here is if this planet was under the most dire of catastrophes and that means you need my help. I can offer my services in any way and I will. This world has been kind to me and I want to help if it’s in danger.” The Wanderer thought about his answer and tried to find a way to use it to actually get the Doctors help and keep him out of an eternity cell. Suddenly his own light bulb went off and he carefully set the man down. “Okay Doctor. In that case I hereby sentence you to community service. You will assist me in stopping the catastrophe and lending your services in any way possible. If you succeed in helping to fix the damages, all charges will be dropped.” The Wanderer said in a serious tone. The Doctors mouth was hanging open in shock but it quickly morphed into a huge smiled as he suddenly caught the Wanderer in a huge hug. “I accept!” he cried as he let go of the Guardian. He then grabbed both Luna and Twilight in a similar hug and they both seemed incredibly lost on everything. The Doctor then turned back to the Wanderer and said, “If you mean to drop all of my charges than this must be more serious than I thought.” “It is.” the Wanderer said, “It will take a few moments to explain things to you. And you may want to take a seat.” The Doctor pulled up a stool and sat down saying, “I have all the time in the world.” A few moments later, both Wanderer and Doctor were inside the TARDIS after the Wanderer had filled in the Time Lord on everything that was happening outside of the world and in the Ether. Needless to say, the Doctor was a more than a little shocked by all of it and immediately suggested they get the TARDIS working again. “So you are certain that these worlds are a danger to this one?” the Doctor asked. “Yes I am.” “So do you think that something like the Daleks might come through?” “Oh hell no it’s only the fourth chapter. Nothing that scary yet.” “Um what?” “Nothing? I didn’t say anything.” The Wanderer said with a smile. “So what’s wrong with her?” the Wanderer asked as he stepped over the numerous cables and wires that had been stuck in the main control panel of the TARDIS. Debris and trash were everywhere inside the ship and she looked like she hadn’t been dusted in centuries. “I don’t know,” the Doctor said as he tried several switches with no results, “All I know is she suddenly crashed herself here and hasn’t worked again since. Not even my sonic screwdriver will work. I’ve had to resort to inventing ways to try and get her back on her feet.” “She’s not dead is she?” the Wanderer asked now filled with worry for the ship. It was the last of its kind and he did not want to see it go extinct. “No but it’s almost like she’s lost the will to fly again.” The Doctor slumped down on one of the chairs and sighed into his hands. “I don’t know what to do.” The Wanderer walked over to the panel and moved his hands over the smooth metal with all its little quirky buttons and levers and looked at the still pillar in the middle that was barely lit. “Right then. Well I guess I’ll just have a little chat with her then.” He said as he grabbed a hold of the panel and began to heave upwards as the metal groaned against his strength. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” the Doctor cried but was too late as the panel finally gave way and lifted, revealing the bright light of the TARDIS’s heart. The Wanderer casually stared into the light and removed his hat and glasses and well as his coat. He handed them to the Doctor who took them in his arms and watched as he rolled up the sleeve on his right arm and without hesitation thrust the bare arm into the heart. The minute he did, the whole ship started shaking and glowing as the Wanderer struggled to keep his grip. “What are you doing I ask again?!” “I’m trying to talk to her. If I can reach her then I can figure out what’s wrong.” “You know that will most likely kill you right?” “I can’t die.” “Im counting on that.” The Doctor said as he stepped away from the console as everything started sparking. Suddenly the whole ship started to glow brighter as all of the lights came back on and the pillar began to move up and down again as the glorious sound of the engines roared to life. “You did it!” the Doctor cried, “You fixed her!” “No!” the Wanderer cried, “Not yet. I need to fix the internal damages and calibrate her.” Suddenly the doors slammed shut and locked as the ship started to shake even more violently. Outside both Luna and Twilight cried out as the TARDIS began to fade away and disappear. Back inside, a feeling weightlessness took over the two as the ship flew into space and across the stars. The Wanderer was struggling to fix the TARDIS but as he was doing so, he began to see all of space and time through the vortex inside. He saw the Ether and all of the worlds that floated around all at once and all that was happening in those worlds. He saw time itself flow by in an endless and unstoppable river. “So this is what he sees every day of his life.” Then he saw the catastrophe over Equestria and dread filled his heart. The whole mass had gotten bigger than last time and he could see more dimensions being brought in as bright flashes shone in the Ether. The Doctor saw it too and he was fixed in a state of shock at the whole of it. He knew of the Ether and the damage a leak could do but to see so many falling on his home caused to feel a rush of fear like anything he had felt before. As they looked on at the massive pile of orbs, the TARDIS finally stopped and fell silent. It floated in the space of the Ether and appeared calm. The Wanderer still did not take his hand out as he continued to work on the ship. The Doctor approached the doors that were now opened and stared at the mass of dimensions. “Every time I see this place it’s always bigger.” he said. “And know you are going to help save it.” said a new voice that echoed throughout the interior of the ship. A bright light appeared before the door and the Doctor had to step back and cover his eyes while the Wanderer stared ahead at it. It faded to reveal the Master, now in a new suit and tie. “Hello Doctor. It’s been a long time.” “Well this day just keeps getting interesting.” the Doctor said as he beheld the Master. The Wanderer suddenly felt the last piece of the TARDIS fall into place and the engine began to hum in its regular pattern as everything returned to normal. He slowly removed his hand and sighed when he saw it had been burned to nothing but the white bones. The Doctor cried out in shock but the Master just approached and studied the arm. “That’s what you get from sticking in something you shouldn’t.” “Yeah that’s what she said.” The Wanderer replied cheekily, “And now it’s going to itch like hell until it heals.” “That’s what he said,” the Master said with a smile and a laugh. “Oh god I hope not.” The Wanderer said with a look of terror. “Um,” the Doctor said, catching their attention, “Can someone tell me what’s going on out there?” The Master continued to walk around the console of the TARDIS while answering the Doctors question, “The catastrophe is growing and we have been attacked by forces of whoever is behind this. These attacks have kept us from saving most of the world’s brought in to the mass.” “Whose behind the attacks?” the Wanderer asked as he pulled his sleeve back down covered his bony hand. “Rogue Guardians.” The Master said without a hint of emotion. Both Wanderer and Doctor stared in complete shock at the answer. They both knew there were rogue Guardians but they all had no power and most were locked away. “How are they able to fight you like this? How are they keeping you back?” the Wanderer asked. “Someone has given them their powers back. I have no idea how and its driving me insane. The council is mad with fear and they demand to know if you are making progress. I was in the middle of trying to contact you when you flew by in this. Quite convenient I should add.” There was a moment of silence as everyone simply thought on the news of rogue Guardians having power and working to make the catastrophe bigger. At this point, they would have to make a whole new category for it. “Well I’m closing up leaks left and right without any problems although everything that’s come through has either stumbled in or been sent by the forces behind it.” “That is not a good thing.” The Master stated. “Um…” the Doctor tried to speak but lost the words. “If you have any way of helping us Doctor, please we need all the help we can get.” “Well if I can find the signature of the leaks I can map them out and monitor them with the TARDIS. I’ve made tons of improvements to her and I can set it up to make it a base for the Wanderer to communicate with you if we can set up a point out in the Ether.” “I’ve had my people working on that for some time. I’ll tell them to lock on the TARDIS and connect with it,” the Master said, “In the meantime, find those leaks. We are running out of time Doctor and you could be the key to gaining an upper hand in all of this. The Master approached the Wanderer and put a hand on his shoulder, “Keep up the good work. I have complete faith in you and I will send help the moment I can. We just have to keep pushing and we will get to the bottom of this.” “I know. I won’t fail you.” The Wanderer said. The Master walked to the door and stopped, “I must return to the battle and put an end to it. You two return to Equestria and get started on your own fight. This is far from over but hope has not left us yet.” He then vanished in another flash of light and as it faded the Wanderer looked to the Doctor and said, “Shall we make a grand entrance?” The Doctor smiled and said, “I think I can whip something up.” Then he ran over to the console as the Wanderer put his jacket and hat back on and help to direct the TARDIS back to Equestria. They pushed and pulled and twisted all sorts of buttons and levers as the engine began to roar again and they felt the ship fly towards the planet at breakneck speeds. “GERONIMO!” they both cried together. Back down on Equestria, Luna and Twilight were outside the clock tower trying to find the missing Guardian and Time Lord. Suddenly they heard a familiar sound and looked up to see a blue box zoom past them towards the center of town. They raced off to try and catch it. In the town square, ponies of all ages suddenly stopped as they heard a sound that was old as time and new as a passing second. It was the sound of a spaceship that was borrowed from a dead race and colored a familiar blue. The blue box with its bright letters and flashing light landed smoothly in the center of town and the sound died down as the wind blew around the square. The ponies all gathered around stared at the blue box when the doors were suddenly flown opened and two men stepped out on the grass. One was the Wanderer with his long coat and wide hat, smoking a cigar that sparked and smoked and the other was a man with a bow tie and a fez who looked like the most unusual man in all of creation. They were the Wanderer and the Doctor and they were there to save the world…… Excuse me while I geek out a moment… AbfgrvwguribaghrehugfbreubgryevgbgiudwvaiufevwughfdyushfruwvturwibgauewbagufrvbwiufbeuwiahgyiuBGIU4 OK im better! The Doctor stepped forward and spread his hands and said, “Greetings ponies! I am the Doctor and this is my friend the Wanderer. We are here to save the world!” “The author already said that!” the Wanderer said. “Oh sorry.” replied the Doctor. “Anyway,” the Wanderer continued, “We are beings from a whole ‘nother time and world but we are here as friends and protectors. You have no need to fear us or our blue box.” The ponies all seemed to grow less scared of the two and some even recognized the Doctor, including one cross eyes mare. “So Doctor?” the Wanderer said as he turned to his new comrade and held out a hand, “Ready to fight a catastrophe?” The Doctor took a hold of the Wanderer’s hand and said, “Ready and raring!” “Hey!” Both men turned to see Pinkie poking her head out of the TARDIS with an ecstatic look on her face or is that her normal look? “This thing is bigger on the inside!” Both Guardian and Time Lord laughed at her statement and the Doctor followed it by saying, “If I had a nickel for every time I heard that…” Next time on Our Guardian Enigma: “Are they all gone?” “I think so…” “Good. That was one hell of a firefight.” “Nothing I can’t handle.” “Wait what’s that?” “What’s what?” “There up in clouds.” “I don’t see any-“ “GALEK GUN FIRE!” “MOVE!” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! “Doctor…………..DOCTOR!” “Well well well. Looks like I get that rematch after all.” “Yea it does. I hope you’re ready to lose again…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Vegeta!”