Shining Armor listened as the two mares reported to him what the arrested thief had told them. “Just what we need,” he growled, glaring at some of the paperwork his desk was covered with.
“I don’t like it either, sir, but there’s nothing we can do,” Field Surgery replied.
“Nothing?” the commander asked. “No, what we can do is put an end to this war as soon as possible. Then we won’t have Diamond Dogs or griffons or whatever threatening ponies with murder!” he screamed.
“Sir?” Martial Glory asked flatly.
“What?” the stallion asked back angrily.
“When was the last time you slept with your wife?”
The serious tone caught him completely off-guard. “W-what!?” he spluttered. “How is that - ?”
“Sir, please,” Glory interjected, holding up a hoof. “Sex is great for stress relief and you need it bad.”
“The sex or the stress relief?” the stallion shot back.
“Both.” Glory just stared at the stallion some more through her helmet. “Sir, you know I’m right, and we need you to be thinking straight. If that means you need an hour with your wife, then so be it.”
“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but she actually is right,” Field Surgery agreed reluctantly.
Shining sighed. “You - fine. I’ve been so worried about this war. I need to take my mind off of things.” He stepped out from behind his desk. “First the attack on Ponyville, then the idiots who deserted their posts...” he grumbled, trailing off as he disappeared.
Surgery turned to Glory. “How did you do that?” she asked, staring at the other mare in complete shock.
Glory shrugged. “No idea. Just thought I’d give it a shot.”
That response only inspired more confusion from her colleague. “Really?”
“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Glory asked cockily. She tilted her head as she thought for a moment. “I wonder what it’s like being married to the Princess of Love.”
Surgery stared at the other mare as though she had suddenly sprouted a set of wings. “What,” she stated as she led the pair out of this commander’s office.
“I bet it’s more than just emotional love,” Glory added, something suggestive in her tone.
Surgery just looked at the other mare. ‘You are disgusting.”
By the time the party had ended, Thomas’s eyesight had recovered significantly, once more vindicating the small fortune he had forked over for the PHOENIX implant. His vision was still impaired, but he could make out distinct shapes well enough to move about on his own.
“Has anypony seen Spike?” Twilight asked as the others left her room.
“Not since, well...” Veronica trailed off uncomfortably. Rarity shot a glare at the woman, still upset about the event in question.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” the unicorn muttered. “Do you think he’s okay?”
“I can talk to him, if you want,” Thomas suggested.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Dom asked, hefting her duffel bag onto her shoulder. Since the break-in, she was understandably paranoid about anything else going missing.
“He’s a guy, he needs another guy.” The man rubbed at his eyes. “Still blurry,” he muttered. Next to him the ghoul frowned before opening her bag.
“And Shiny disappeared before,” Twilight muttered. “Fine,” she conceded. “The princess said that he was being given his own room. It should be - ”
“God damn it!” They all turned to the ghoul who was currently staring at her bag furiously. “That rat did get something.”
“What?”
“One of my bottles of Quantum,” she growled. “That stuff is rare.”
“Pinkie, where did you get that?” They all turned again to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, the latter holding a glowing blue bottle.
“When did you get that?” Dom asked quietly. “How did you even open the bag?”
“When you weren’t looking.” The pink pony looked at the contents critically, uncaring about the stares directed towards her.
“Hand it over,” Dom said, holding a hand out.
“I just want a sip first.” Before she could get any kind of answer the bottle was opened and a whole swig had been consumed. Everyone watched as Pinkie’s face went from joy to confusion and then to disgust. She spat out what she hadn’t swallowed and started scraping at her tongue. “Too sweet! Too sweet!”
The ponies stared at the friend in alarm. “Too... sweet?” Rainbow asked, looking scared and confused.
“Never imagined you would find something you couldn’t handle,” Rarity muttered worriedly.
“It’s worse than that time I tried to eat a whole bag of sugar!” the pink earth pony exclaimed.
“Yeah, I’m not surprised you did that,” the blue pegasus dead-panned.
“I’ll take that,” Dom said wearily, grabbing the bottle and its cap. “Still enough for two, at least,” she muttered as she looked at how much was left..
Suddenly Pinkie’s stomach growled. “That’s not good,” she noted.
“Everypony, get back,” Applejack instructed, preparing to pull her hat over her face.
“Pinkie, dear, are you okay?” Rarity ignored the warnings and went closer to her friend, who had now doubled over and was clutching her belly.
“Oh no,” Fluttershy mumbled. “We need to - ” The timid pegasus got no further when Pinkie suddenly looked up, opened her mouth, and unleashed the half-digested contents of her stomach in front of her. Unfortunately, Rarity happened to be right in the line of fire.
“Never seen that reaction before,” Dom muttered as the unicorn began to hyperventilate.
“Oops,” Pinkie squeaked, looking worriedly at the friend she had projectile-vomited all over.
Rarity wiped at her face and stared at her hoof for a moment. Then she unleashed an ear-splitting scream.
Thomas had been led to the room Spike had been given. It was nowhere near as luxurious as the one he’d been spending his nights in, but he guessed it was more due to the fact that he was only two feet tall and still a child. He knocked on the door as Twilight walked away, still massaging her ears in pain.
“Go away!” a voice called.
“I just wanna talk,” Thomas replied calmly.
“Oh.” The door creaked open. “It’s you. I thought it was Twilight.”
“No, I convinced her that you needed a man-to-man thing.” Spike opened the door all the way, allowing him in. “You okay?”
The dragon shuffled on his feet uncomfortably. “I... I dunno.” He clambered onto his bed and sat on the side, his legs dangling off. “At first, I was upset, then I was realised that she was kissing another mare and...”
“And you had no idea what to think,” Thomas said, finishing his sentence. “Yeah, I kinda know what it’s like,” he added, sitting down next to the dragon.
“Why? Why did she kiss Rarity? Is Rarity even like that?”
“Calm down.” Spike looked up at him. “Veronica explained what happened, she was just really excited about getting a new dress. She was just as disgusted as Rarity.”
“Oh.” Spike seemed conflicted at that revelation. “That’s... good?”
Thomas shrugged. “Maybe? I have no idea. I’m no good with the emotional side of a relationship.”
Spike looked at him, making it clear that his eyebrows would have risen as far as they could, if he had any. “Then why are you here?”
“I’m good with personal emotions,” he explained. “And I’d bet a hundred caps that you’re pretty confused about a lot of things right now,” he chuckled.
“Yeah,” the little dragon admitted. “But I’m not sure I wanna talk about it.”
“I won’t force ya.”
The pair sat there in silence for a while. Eventually, Spike decided to break the silence. “Can I tell you a secret?” he asked nervously.
“Go for it,” Thomas replied. “I’m good at keeping things hidden.”
“I um... I have a crush on Rarity,” he muttered.
“Well that explains... Actually, it doesn’t explain anything,” Thomas mumbled. “Why?”
“Well... She’s beautiful, kind, generous, hard-working...”
“All right, you have a lot of reasons,” Thomas interrupted, not feeling like getting swamped under information.
“But I don’t know how she feels,” Spike muttered. “And what happened today...”
“How old are you, exactly?”
“Sixteen,” the little dragon replied. “Still a baby dragon, but that’s only physical.”
“You’re more mature than a lot of people I’ve run into,” Thomas commented.
“Thanks,” Spike answered happily. “Er, that was a compliment, right?”
“If I was insulting you, you’d know it,” the man explained. “Still, aren’t you a bit...”
“What?”
“Young?” Thomas finished. “I mean, Rarity would be early-twenties. I think.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m happy to wait.”
Thomas looked at the dragon with a raised eyebrow. “But you’re worried about something else.”
Spike shuffled uncomfortably. “I’ve met a few other dragons. They were all... terrible.”
“Oh?”
“They were mean, selfish, self-centered, greedy, lazy...”
“Ah. I see it now.” Thomas sighed and leaned back. “It’s all about what you choose, kid.”
“Is it really that simple?” he asked, looked up at the man worriedly.
“Hey, I could have sided with the Legion. I could have become a mass-murdering rapist,” he answered uncomfortably. Spike looked at him with disgust. “But I didn’t choose that. You can’t choose how you’re raised, but you choose how you turn out. Do you want to be like them other dragons?” he asked.
“No!” Spike answered harshly, sounding insulted by the idea.
“Then don’t. Simple as that,” Thomas said with a smile.
Spike nodded, the little dragon taking in the deceptively simple-sounding advice.
When Thomas showed himself out, having put the young dragon’s mind at ease, he was surprised to see Luna there, waiting for him. “Hello,” he said cautiously.
“That was a very kind thing you did,” the alicorn said, smiling at him.
“You were eavesdropping on us?” the man asked uncomfortably.
“Well you certainly weren’t trying to be quiet about it,” she explained. “And I only heard the tail end of your discussion.”
“The little guy needed some reassuring.” Thomas shrugged. “I had to do something.”
“And I am glad you did. There are few things more worrying than a dragon not knowing what to do.” Luna led the man away from the room. “My armour was completed earlier today, during your little party.”
“Good for you,” Thomas replied, following the alicorn down the darkened corridors.
“Yes, I look forward to getting to the root of this problem.” Luna’s gaze hardened somewhat. “I’m still unsure of what to make of things, though.”
“You mean whoever forced that stallion to attack me?”
“Among other things.” Luna looked out a window at the starry sky. “I can’t help but worry that some darker force is at play here. The fact that it seems that you are being targeted indicates you are an unwanted variable, something it can’t account for. It wants to eliminate any chance of failure.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time. Got my hands on some NCR reports from just before the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. You know what I was labelled?” he asked. “Wherever I wasn’t called ‘Courier’ I was labelled ‘Wild Card’.”
“You were considered unpredictable, your loyalties unknown,” Luna mused.
“Even now, I’m only with the NCR for my own purposes. The moment they do something that isn’t good for Vegas, well...” He trailed off ominously.
“Should I be concerned?” the alicorn asked him, raising an eyebrow.
“What, that I’d betray someone who can put me through an agonising death with a thought?” he asked back, smirking at her. “No, I’m here to do right and stop this war. And there is no way I’d side with slavers.”
“I am glad to hear that,” Luna replied. “The idea of someone with your capabilities working for such individuals is... unnerving.”
“Hmm,” Thomas grunted in agreement. “If someone wants me, Dom and Veronica out of the way, there’s only one thing we can do,” he said, returning to what Luna had said earlier.
“Oh?” the alicorn asked, curious.
“Preemptive strike. Knock out as many of their resources and options as soon as we can.”
“You are suggesting that we take the fight to them, to engage them in territory they find familiar?” Luna questioned, not particularly enthusiastic with his suggestion.
“This war will end in one of two ways. Quickly and decisively, with minimal loss of life, or long and drawn-out, with hundreds of thousands of innocents getting caught up in the fighting.” Thomas stopped walking and turned to the alicorn. “I’ve seen what happens when you let the enemy build up their strength for too long. You don’t want to. Trust me.” Thomas fought off the memories of Nipton as he turned away and continued to walk.
“Thomas...” Luna called out weakly. She sighed as she turned and let him disappear. He was right. They had to act now. But how?