//------------------------------// // One deal // Story: Fed up // by Billblok //------------------------------// "As a princess I may be, so am I nothing without the support of my subjects." -Core conduct of the princess, Maxim 1 Princess Celestia lay on her throne, curled up with a cushion which she normally reserved for a long day in court.(1) Right now, however, she had decided the best course of action since the young stallion left from her initial laughing fit was to prop her head against said cushion, bury her face in it, and groan like a wounded bull. The guards flanking her throne tried to keep their cool, retaining that stoic pose they all were supposed to be trained for, but it was clear that they were shaking in their knees. With the volume, and the nature of her expletive, it was inevitable that the princess of the night would arrive, pounding her hooves on the floor. With a loud THUD, the doors to the throne room opened swiftly. Luna was fuming. "CELESTIA!! CARE TO EXPLAIN THE MEANING BEHIND THINE OUTBURST?!" Celestia dragged her head up. "Outburst? Look who's talking..." Luna huffed. "At least we do not scream obscenities for all to hear for ten miles!" Celestia groaned. "Does it matter...? It's not like anything I do will make them feel any more casually of me..." Luna huffed. "Aside from letting an evil shadow entity into my heart because of a little bit of jealousy? As if there's nothing." "I thought we've been over this; we were both at fault..." Luna inexplicably burst into tears; it must be a tender point still. "No! I'm responsible, It's my fault, and hang it all, I'm sorry!! If it weren't for my dumb bout of jealousy, because ponies need to sleep when the sky is most beautiful, I WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THE MOON IN THE FIRST PLACE!!" Celestia stared, wide eyed at her sniffling sister. after a few seconds, she finally spoke. "Are you done being angsty? Wait...You're still jealous, aren't you?" "Yeah... A little bit..." She furiously scrubbed her eyes. "MOOD SWINGS ASIDE!! There is no excuse to scream such filth at the top of your lungs." "I have freedom of speech, Luna." "Yay, that thou doth have, but thou doth not have the freedom, rights, nor the privilege to partake in acts of petty imbecility!" "..." "You were being an idiot." "Oh; right then..." Celestia's head sagged back into her precious cushion. "Still won't change anything..." Luna was about to reiterate her previous question, but decided against it; instead, she said one sentence. Such a sentence has been known to break bones, bring up kings, topple empires, and give ponies severe cases of indigestion and diarrhea. "I know what's going on, you're just a lazy sissy who doesn't want to deal with the problem." "No, I just can't--" "Sissy." "If you would just--" "Sissy sissy, big sis' a sissy~!" "Luna, this isn't--" "SISSY!!" "WILL YOU STOP BUGGING ME IF I SAY YES?!" Luna bore a very cheesy grin. "Yes!" "Alright, FINE!! BE THAT WAY!!" Celestia gnashed her teeth together. "Ever since Twilight's royal coronation, you've been nothing but an irritant!" "YAY!!" Luna jubilantly cheered, glomping onto her beloved sister. "We knew thou wouldst see reason! You shan't be disappointed, we assure you!" Celestia halfheartedly hugged back. "I really hope what you're planning is worth it." "Absolutely and entirely, my dearest sister," She replied, nuzzling her nose into Celestia's cheek in that annoying way she really didn't like."But first, we had better take care of those poor guards." The guards flanking Celestia's throne had tried to keep their cool, retaining that stoic pose they all were supposed to be trained for, but it was clear that they had fainted after all this time. Luna clicked her tongue. "Something tells me you made your royal guard soft over the years. We should fix that too." "One problem at a time, Luna..." Much like the sun every morning, Celestia was absolutely beaming by the time Luna had exposed every last bit of her plans to her. Since then, a great feeling of confidence had washed over her, making her feel on top of the world once more. She felt like she could do anything. The plan Luna gave her was so simple, so thorough, so wonderfully easy-- "And so crazy, it just might work!" The sun said excitedly. Oh, hello sun, Celestia replied as she waited patiently on the throne room for those which she called into service. Have you just come back from your wild trip across the galaxy? I have to commend you for bringing in someone else before going into a full bore linear panic. The sun yelped. "We're so sorry! Don't put us out!!" Celestia rolled her eyes. It was a good thing she was in a much happier mood than earlier on, or the poor sun might have had a few grey shinetrees from all its panic. (2) Finally, the doors to the courtroom open, revealing five ponies and one lavender alicorn. Celestia dearly desired to bound up and embrace the ponies who helped her and her kingdom so often, but kept her calm, at least for a little while. A sudden, abrupt change of how she did things would only confuse them without an explanation. Twilight's friends bowed, and Twilight awkwardly stood there, eliciting a giggle from her sister standing next to her. Meanwhile she looked at every pony there, and saw the same sort of thing she so often did: Nervousness. Each one of them was nervous around her, and she saw through years of experience and subtle movements why. Fluttershy was hoping she was polite enough. Rarity was unsure she was presentable. Applejack was unsure she was doing any of the motions correctly. Pinkie Pie dearly hoped she was happy. Rainbow Dash didn't want to screw up, and Twilight was running through her head a contingency plan for if she angered her enough to send the wrath of the sun upon the planet; or that's what she assumed, she may just be worried about the whole princess thing still. Repressing a sigh through her nose, she called for them to rise. "Thank you all for coming here with so little warning ahead of time," She said. "It means so much to have ponies ready and willing to help." "Happy ta serve, yer highness." Applejack tipped her hat. Celestia smiled. "Happy to hear that. Now that you're all here, I'd like to inform you of what's going on." Her horn glowed, slipping her tiara off her head and allowing her hair to flow more freely. "So, as you all know for certain, this is my crown." "...What about it?" Twilight asked. Celestia held her smile, gazing into the shiny surface of said crown. "You'll find out soon enough. But first, what do you think about it?" "Why, it has always been at the peak of fashion!" Rarity said. "Such a simple, wonderful beauty is what all the industry dreams of crafting!" "It's really cool! I mean, how many ponies get to wear a hat made out of solid metal?" Rainbow Dash gushed. "It's very pretty..." Fluttershy squeaked out. "It's the superb-est, bestest, crowniest crown for crowning around at parties and princess-y formal social stuffs!" Pinkie exeuberently shouted with a bounce for emphasis. "Can't deny that," Applejack agreed. "Fancy enough ta be formal, simple enough ta be social." "It's PERFECT!!" Twilight squeed. "It's junk," Celestia said. "Exactly!! Wait--what?" "Junk!" Celestia reiterated. "This crown is made of gold with an amethyst encrusted in it. What do we use gold for, everypony?" "...our coins and as basic enchanting material?" Twilight guessed. "Good! and how cheap is an amethyst, Rarity?" "...One of that size?" Rarity hesitated. "Cheap enough to purchase at a two bit store." She felt a hint of shame towards the fashion industry. "Indeed," Celestia nodded. "Then if this crown is in fact so cheap that you could recreate it at your local smithy, then the very position of the pony who wears it could perhaps be regarded as..." One of the stain glass windows on the right side of the throne room opened up with her magic, and the golden headgear was swiftly thrown out, cascading down the mountain slope for the six ponies there to gawk at it in astonishment and horror. "...worthless outside the eyes of the beholder." There were two seconds of silence before all the ponies made a commotion at once. "Sister, don't you think that throwing out your crown was a little bit excessive? It's like tossing out a perfectly fine pair of socks; you just don't do that!" "What?! I thought a princess' crown was important; that's what all the books said!" "No!!" Rarity wailed. "I don't care how cheap it was, that act is a DISGRACE. AGAINST. ART!!" "nooooooooooo, the party crown got dumped! Why dump the party crown?!" "Ah dunno what that was, 'sides from messed up." "Wait!! Aren't you the one pony everypony looks up to?? That's your emblem!!" Fluttershy couldn't even speak in horror, simply resorting to crying. "HOOVES. ON. LIPS!!" Luna shouted in the royal Canterlot voice. Everypony was immediately silent, all hooves touching lips. Satisfied, she spoke to her sister, right hoof still on her lips. "Now Tia, care to explain yourself?" Celestia nodded, steeling herself for one of her motherly lectures, like she always did. "Do you see now from your own reactions, my little ponies? Sometimes, we ponies forget things. We get so caught up in the awe, the amazement and supposed majesty of our idols, so caught up in what they are, that we forget who they are. Like my crown for which we put so much sanctity on when it's just another piece of metal, some ponies are put on such high pedestals, they can't look down and see the lives of other ponies; not just because the 'little ponies' won't share out of lack of worth, but because they're afraid of attracting unwanted attention to those ponies." Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane, reminded of the unwanted attention she got during her brief spree as a model. A sigh escaped the sun princess' lips, as she prepared to finally loosen the mask she had on all these years. "One of the blessings of being an alicorn is eternal youth, but with a twist. With the right kind of magic, one can disable the aesthetic effect it has on a pony and see a pony for what they truly are." Celestia's horn glowed, slowly becoming brighter and brighter, until the golden light was blinding to the eyes. The magic charged with a great resonating hum, and then the spell was finally released. POP! "That was... Anticlimax," Pinkie said. "'Anticlimactic' is the word you're looking for, Pinkie," Twilight corrected. Before the ponies was no longer the regal princess they had known and were so utterly nervous around. Gone was the flowing aurora mane and tail, the slender neck, the beautiful legs, the eyes filled with many millennia of experience, the beautiful, perfectly polished horn and the towering frame of an ageless pony. What replaced that was a considerably smaller figure, of whom only just fit in the regalia she was wearing. "...Wow." Rarity exclaimed simply. "She looks so young." Remarked Applejack. "So...relatable." Rainbow dash fumbled out, trying not to sound insulting. "So... CUTE!!" Fluttershy squealed affectionately, trying to hold back from hugging the sun princess. Standing before them now, and beside the baffled Princess Luna, was a pony only about three fourths the size of Twilight. It was quite clear that perfection still fell across her body, but it now seemed achievable with daily exercises and thirty minutes of makeup.(3) The aurora mane was now a light pink which fell softly around her neck, tail curling around her legs. Her horn was now approximately the length of Twilight's, tapering off to a little sharper point. So too had her eyes lost that wizened old look, the eyeliner entirely gone, a few strands of hair falling between her eyes. Pose now more relaxed than regal, the now smaller princess resumed. "My little ponies, I have a favor to ask of all of you. What you have seen is merely a demonstration of how I would like to be treated, and you can be assured that this isn't the new norm. I would like you all to help me destroy a perception of me that has been ongoing for thousands of years. To put it simply: I need you to help me become relatable, because I'm simply fed up of my supposed godlike status." With as much dramatic flair as her small size could handle, she raised a hoof in the air. "Failing that, let it be known that no princess shall ever be forced to wear the crown again! So please... Will you help me?" "...Help you?" Twilight asked after a moment of thought. "Yes, help me." Twilight sprouted a big grin. "Help you, like help you?? Like you're helping us??" Celestia nodded. "In a way, yes." Twilight cheered, hopping around in circles. "YES!! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!" She snagged Celestia in a back-crushing hug. (4) "Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much this means to me!!" Celestia to her credit managed to return the hug with little sign of discomfort. "I probably can take a guess; but I'm glad you all agreed to work with me-- Fluttershy, are you okay?" Fluttershy whimpered, holding the biggest pair of sad puppy eyes the pegasus pony could muster. The plea was very much evident in the way she held out her hooves. Celestia's heart skipped a beat. The yellow pony recoiled a little when she approached her, but she eventually managed to lend the same bit of affection to her as she did to Twilight. "Better?" "...Yes..." Celestia smiled, releasing her grip and turning towards the other ponies. "Judging by all your smiling faces, I believe Twilight has already spoken for you four. We'll get started soon, but for now, I'd like you all to relax, and perhaps sleep on what you've all heard overnight. You may go wherever in the palace you please." The ponies soon left, each talking amongst themselves, leaving Celestia and Luna with eachother. With another flash and a POP! Celestia returned to her grand looking self, summoned her regalia, and promptly fell on the floor laughing jubilantly. "It worked!! It was a plan, It was crazy, and it WORKED!!" "is working, sister?" "Who cares!? It didn't flop!! It's working!!" She jumped up on her feet. "We need to celebrate! Let's partake in cake!!" Luna flashed her a knowing look. "I suppose you're going to hog whatever's in the fridge?" "Hay no! This is for everyone! I get a Triple chocolate cake! You get a lemon cake!" She grabbed a guard by the shoulders, twirling him around in her arms. "And you get a chocolate swirl cake with pink frosting!!" A mustached pony entered the throne room with a piece of parchment.(5) "Your highnesses, I can't seem to find my green highlighter--" Celestia jammed her face into the pony's. "Kibitz, do you like cupcakes?" "I-I suppose, but--" "then it's cupcakes for you!!" Celestia bounded out the door, happier than she's ever been in a long time, pointing at ponies along the way. "you get a cake, and you get a cake!! EVERYPONY GETS CAKES; LET THEM EAT CAKE!!" Luna blinked once, then snickered. "I don't think she'll be quite as happy when she remembers what happened to her crown..."