She’s A Pony, He’s A Human

Chapter 3

Written & Edited by Seven81493

Andrew woke up with an enormous amount of pain in his head. Rubbing it, he slowly opened his eyes, and took in his surroundings. It looked like he was in a hospital, and he wasn’t alone. Lying in a bed next to his own was the thing Luna had referred to as Twilight Sparkle. A unicorn, if he recalled correctly. Now that he had a better chance to look at her, he noticed that she was actually lavender in color, not purple. She had a dark blue mane, and it had pink and violet streaks running through it.

Her mane seemed to part flawlessly where her horn stuck through, which struck him as odd. Not only was it nearly impossible to part hair completely right, but she did it with something going through it? That alone was an amazing feat. But for her to do it with a mane? That was even more amazing. From what Andrew knew, a horse’s mane was very hard to keep neat, or straight. But it seemed that this ‘Twilight Sparkle’ knew what she was doing.

Because Twilight wasn’t covered up completely, due to what Andrew could only assume to be rolling around in bed, he could spot something on her flank. It looked like a tattoo, but that was unlikely since it showed through her fur. So what was it? He resolved to ask her that very question when she woke up.

Luna had just broken the news to her sister, and it was easy to see that she wasn’t very pleased.

“Please calm down,” Luna urged her sister, “anger won’t solve the issue.”

“Would you really destroy your student’s only hope of true love?” Luna accusingly questioned her sister.

“Because,” began the indigo alicorn, “if you do, she will reject you as a friend.”

While Celestia began to think over her sister’s words, Andrew was worrying about something else entirely over in Ponyville.

Meanwhile, Andrew was busy being berated by one of Twilight's friends. They had shown up, and instantly the blue one was upon him, yelling for no reason and accusing him of harming Twilight.

“Yeah,” began the irate Andrew, “and I was passed out too, idiot! So how could I have hurt her?!”

“You didn’t think! You berate me for no reason, and then try to act guilty, like that’ll make me feel bad for you?! Well you’ve got another thing coming!”

“Why are you being such a jerk?!” yelled the blue pegasus in front of him, to which he responded with, “Because, you accused me of something with no proof and think I’ll forgive you just like that!”

Andrew watched as the pegasus in front of him descended to the floor, and began looking towards said floor. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”

This piqued his interest. It seemed that she was actually interested in something he had to say for once. “Andrew, you?”

“Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in Equestria!” bragged the pegasus as she puffed out her chest for extra effect.

“Hehe, pretty boastful,” Andrew began, “but can you back up those words?”

“You’re darn right I can!” the blue mare yelled, causing Andrew to wince. “I can do the sonic rainboom!”

“You know? The sonic rainboom? Twilight said it means I broke the sound barrier and light spectrum at the same time.”

While Andrew knew this to be impossible, maybe it wasn’t in this world. After all, it was inhabited by multi-colored ponies who could fly and do magic.

“Luna, please tell me what possessed you to kidnap this ‘human’ from his home.”

Luna tried to avoid her sister’s gaze, but it was made impossible by the fact that she could literally feel it burning through the side of her head.

“Sister, try to understand this from their point of view. I’m trying to show them that they are meant for one another.”

“And what if the human doesn’t believe that, Luna?” Celestia accusingly questioned her sister. “What if he rejects her, and her heart is broken.”

He watched as the orange one with the blonde mane trotted over to him and extended a hoof for him to shake. He took it and instantly realized it was a bad idea, as his arm starting flailing uncontrollably.

“Pleasure,” Andrew began as he let go of her hoof and began rubbing the pain out of his arm, “to meet you.”

“And I am Rarity,” was the next thing Andrew heard. He watched as the alabaster unicorn with the purple hair trotted over to him and extended her hoof as well. Andrew had an idea though. She seemed fancy, so this would most likely get him on her good side.

“A pleasure,” he began, pulling her hoof forward and planting a peck upon it, “Lady Rarity.”

Andrew chuckled at Rarity’s choice of words, but not before he was assaulted by a ball of pink.

“Wait... I’ve heard your voice before,” Andrew stated, trying to remember just where he had heard it. Wait a minute, could she have been...

“You’re the girl from the phone!” he suddenly remembered, causing the pink pony to giggle madly.

“I-”, Andrew began, but not before suddenly thinking better of it, “No, I’d rather you didn’t. It’s strange enough already...”

“And I’m Fluttershy,” came the final name. To Andrew’s surprise, the yellow pegasus trotted right over to him and gave him a hug.

“Aww, it’s okay,” Andrew said as he gave the yellow pony’s ear a scratch, eliciting a smile from her, “she isn’t doing anything wrong.”

After a few more seconds, Fluttershy let go of him, and he let out a nervous chuckle as a blush formed on her face.

“It’ll be okay,” Celestia said, interrupting Luna, “I won’t hurt him, I promise.”

“Alright. They are in the Ponyville general hospital at the moment, so you can find them there.”

With that, Celestia took off into the sky, heading towards Ponyville at egregious speeds.

While Celestia was heading for Ponyville, a certain human was conversing with a now awake Twilight.

“I’m telling you, we have a thing called the television, and it’s like a book, but you watch it instead of reading it!”

“No way! That kind of technology is so advanced! How did you guys manage it?!”

“Because people on my planet are always looking to be innovative, and create the next thing that everybody wants. So they work harder in order to achieve that goal.”

“No you don’t,” Andrew interjected. “If they were, there would be war as well.”

“War? We haven't had one of those for about eight hundred years. Are your wars bad?"

“Yeah, they're bad,” Andrew began to explain. “They're basically a monumental battle between two or more countries, and they always ends with one country admitting defeat. But not before millions are killed.”

“Yeah, it is...” sighed Andrew dejectedly. He had never been proud of human history, since it seemed they were nothing but barbaric creatures hell-bent on the annihilation of those with different views on life. Then again, there were also a lot of humans who kept to themselves, and made the world better. So it kind of evened things out. Not all humans were evil, but enough were.

But onto the matter at hand. Twilight Sparkle was by far the most interesting pony he had met. Shortly after she had woken up, she took notice of him. But instead of screaming in fright, she simply asked for his name. It had rendered him speechless, and with good reason. When you woke up and someone was in your bed, you didn’t simply ask for their name. You’re supposed to scream in fear. Then again, they had already gone through that phase. But that wasn’t all. Her friends had left shortly after, due to visiting hours being over.

Since they had left, she had been asking him all manner of questions. Most of which he could answer, but occasionally a touchy subject would come up, such as religion. He had thought it best not to explain it to her, seeing as how it was the cause of some of the worst wars on his planet. Hitler, Bin Laden, those two were what was wrong with the Earth. But overall, their conversations had been... fun! He couldn’t explain it, but he actually enjoyed talking to the lavender mare. She had even told him the meaning of the symbol on her flank, which she referred to as a cutie mark. Apparently every pony gets one when they find out their special talent.

He still didn’t believe what Luna had said though. There was no way he would date a pony. It was simply wrong, and went against all of his beliefs.

Then again, what beliefs did he have? He was agnostic, so he wasn’t really religious, but he wasn’t atheist either. He simply lived life to live it, and whatever happened when he died, he would deal with then. But it was still wrong no matter how he looked at it. She was a pony, he was a human, and that was that.

The sudden voice broke his concentration, and turning towards Twilight, he took notice of a much larger pony. She was white, and had a multi-colored mane that seemed to flow though the air, even without wind. He also took notice of the fact that she had both wings and a horn.

“Greetings, Andrew. My sister has told me a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Andrew decided that being courteous was the best way to go, as he didn’t want to piss off a princess.

“Very well,” came the response, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Celestia. I assume you have some questions for me.”

“You would be correct in that assumption,” she responded with a warm smile, “starting with why you’re in a hospital.”

“Well, when we passed out, we apparently fell off of her bed and hit our heads on the floor. So... concussions would be the answer to your question.”

“Go ahead, Celestia. I’m not going anywhere,” he responded jokingly, getting a chuckle out of the princess.

“I think I’ll start by asking if you’ve been getting along with everypony?”

“I have, very well in fact,” he answered with a smile. “Twilight here has been asking me questions nonstop. But I’ve enjoyed her company.”

“That’s good to hear. Now, do you know the roles my sister and I have in Equestria?”

“We are indeed princesses, but we're much more than that at the same time,” she began, instantly getting Andrew’s attention. “We are the rulers of this kingdom, and it is our duty to protect it from danger. It is also our duty to maintain balance. I raise and lower the sun, and my sister does the same with the moon.”

“That’s amazing!” shouted Andrew. He quickly realized he been a bit too loud, and lowered his head sheepishly.

“Hmm, yes, it is amazing,” concluded Celestia. “But I have one more question, and then I will go.”

“I already said ‘Celestia’ is fine, did I not?” she asked with a chuckle.

Andrew watched as Celestia seemed to be thinking. He concluded she was just thinking of how to word it when she finally began speaking again.

“Are you going to live in peace, or am I going to have to throw you at the sun?”

“I think that answers that. Twilight, Andrew, have a good night’s rest. I’ll try to see you again soon.”

With that, Celestia left their room. Looking over at Twilight, Andrew noticed her stifling a giggle with her hoof, and he started to laugh as well. It had been a good day, but he was looking forward to a good night’s rest, as Celestia had put it.

And with that, Andrew fell into a blissful slumber, with Twilight doing the same only seconds later.

She's a Pony, He's a Human

by Lucky Seven

Chapter 3