After a spell goes wrong, a mage named Connor finds himself in the so called peaceful land of Equestria. But not all is as it seems, as the already shaky relationship with the bordering griffin nation comes to a boil and Connor finds himself at the center of it all.
You need to spread out your paragraphs, and to capitalize the Appleosa, but the story good.
2195527
noted. i'll work on the paragraph spacing in the future and i'll fix the capitalization.
Well he could have landed in a place that is worse than Appleoosa.
Oh still looking good from the draft hope to see more.
Love it
it is most boss
please do continue
Romance Adventure Human
My favorite tags. upvote&fav
agreed
2216933
thanks. I do plan to continue. Authors that cancel their stories are kind of suckish.
so is this guy an elementalist as in controlling of energy like fire lighting and frost <lack of energy >?
2237670
i'd just like to say that i am blatantly ripping off of skyrim and avatar the last airbender as far as how his magic will be. he can control most things related to the elements. like, physical magic.
what color is angry red? Someone show me a pick of angry red pls.
not a bad 1st chapter been a while since i said that
So this butt-hole screamed this as he was being knocked out by something he never saw?
Seems legit
Melodrama!
I called it 1st!
i love the story
2245014
the thing that hit his jaw was sheriff silverstar. and im pretty sure that if you were wandering in the desert most of the day you would kiss the ground of the town you found. just saying.
You should update more often friend!
2474668
I'm ashamed of my update speed on the last one. I was way busy with school. I promise to update much faster now! :)
Its Alive!!
2484018
Indeed it is friend! Again I must apologize for my despicable update speed. I promise it will be much faster in the future.
Cute :3
And he isn't curious about where his staff with the incredibly power magical artifact attached to it is? If I were in his position, I'd be freaking the fuck out trying to find it, plus if I didn't know where I was I'd cast wards of protection on myself to help in combat against any potential enemies. Also, I'd abuse Twilight's generosity for all I could and then find another pony I could mooch off of.
2501179
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT PLOT HOLES!!! FACK!!! I COULD HAVE FUCKING SWORN I DIDN'T GOOF!!! well, time to cover that plot hole in a later chapter. On the topic of wards though, they would take some time to set up and have an area affect. So thus, not very effective in combat. Even if you did get one set up in a fight and your enemy steps in its area, they are as protected as you. So thus, worthless. Thanks for pointing out the staff thing.
2504198 I'm talking personal defense wards, they are usually bound to clothing or jewelry and grant the wearer protection, but not as much as a normal ward. Personal Defense Wards are portable, user specific wards that sacrifice strength for mobility and caster only protection.
2505688
I could see that. I'm still not going to put it in the story though because that would give Connor too big an edge for any fight scene to be fun.
2509890 Except the part where they're significantly weaker than normal wards due to the reallocation of energy to allow the mobility and user specificness functions to work, thusly rendering them only useful if you need to leave somewhere really fast with minimal damage to yourself. Just be glad you're not gonna have him know Chronomancy or Cosmomancy, then he'd be able to win any fight with as much flair, or time left, as he so desired.
2511276
Stup maykin meh thunk. thunkin is hurd.
2514803 I'm not making you think, you are. Besides, your mage is nothing compared to any protagonist mage at endgame power levels, but then what is?
“Yeah Twilight?”
A million different meanings for that sentence flashed through Connor’s head in an instant. He banished them all immediately and turned his focus back to Twilight.
^is there a missing sentence there ?
2534963
Must have been an accidental delete. I'll fix it. Thanks.
Woah, slow down there bro. This story is going way to fast. Its got a good story line, and good humor, but its way to rushed.
2535530
nuff said, please, do not turn it into "hey-we-just-met-let's-have-sex" kind of story
2535530
2536259
Not trying to. Just doing some relationship progression. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. There will not be time for much relationship crap in the next few chapters anyway.
Gryhon Empire=North Korea
2538775
woah. shit. never made that connection.
2594395
bro. calm your text wall for a moment. it may not seem like it for you but i plan for my story to go much longer than this. i do not plan on making Connor too powerful and i don't plan on giving him a "harem". i plan on writing a good story that will hopefully someday get featured and people will enjoy reading. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
2594395
What are you talking about? I see stories where human mages are stronger than unicorns and alicorns alike all the time.
I quote "Gryhon Empire=North Korea"
.....
BANZAI!!!!!
2913496
it was the Japanese that yelled banzai
is this story alive?
Yes! A new chapter I really can't wait to see how this story plays out.
is this story dead?
2594395 I'd like to point out that your understanding of magic is extremely underwhelming... All systems must have their own rules and limitations, usually being the subject of necromancy (power of life and death)... Also, do you NOT know how powerful a skeleton would really be? It is, at best, an animated set of bones that will come back together like the Timberwolves... There would have to be a seperate spell that reinforces their bones and magical ligaments...
Another thing, I've seen more than enough OP mages to know that they are difficult to properly handle, as they need to be treated differently. It's much like Discord, in that regard; there are so many ways to use him poorly in a story, with so few good or tolerable ways. He's best used as a prankster God, toying with the character for his own amusement, using his omnipotence. If you think this writer isn't doing a good job, I'd like to see your ideas here on the site, utilized in a story; I can guarantee that it won't be received well... No one likes reading a power fulfillment fic.
That feeling is probably mutual.
Celly is a bit weird.
I would be angry at this point.
109 weeks i think this story is dead
6912168
I know, my first instinct upon meeting her in any fic is to call her a bi%#h
I don't know why
Do you also know any dragon shouts?