What Is And What Should Never Be: Part Two
"Wonderful, now before we begin part two of the game, I'd like to tell you why I've gathered you all here."
"Splendid," said Rarity sarcastically. "You blackmail us and make us wait in this tacky room for over an hour, and only now you tell us why we're actually here?"
"Rarity, need I remind you that the pictures I got of you were during your heat? The bad part of your heat? And there are so many of them! Seriously, there's enough dirty photos here to put together a scrapbook-"
"Okay-okay-I'll-play-your-stupid-game-just-shut-up!"
"That's better." Discord cleared his throat. "You five and Phil have been gathered here today for one simple reason: All of you have witnessed the attractive powers of Mr. Phillips. I managed to round up everypony who has been in contact with his powers and put them into a single room for a game of my own creation-"
"You missed someone," stated Phil bluntly.
"Yes, I wasn't in the middle of a sentence or anything, please continue."
"All I'm saying is that this isn't everybody who's seen my powers."
"Oh? Who did I miss?"
"Well, you missed a bunch of the guardsponies from Canterlot Castle as well as the other princess of Canterlot, Luna."
"Ah, I thought you may be referring to them. For the guards, it would have ruined the game to have that many more males in it. And when it comes to Luna, she never actually fell victim to your power."
"Oh that makes sen-WHAT?"
"Yep, you seduced Luna all on your own. Unfortunately, when I mentioned the game and you two swapping spit, she started yelling 'Tis slander! How dare thee spy on the royal affairs!' and yadayada. Such a drama princess. Then she bucked me in the face and here we are, one princess short."
Fluttershy and Twilight gaped at Phil. "Phil!" Twilight shouted. "I can't believe you would cheat on Princess Celestia! And with her own sister no less!"
"What?! I wasn't cheating on anyone-"
"Wow, Phil," Fluttershy said with uncertain emotion. "I had no idea you were...like that with the Princesses..."
"Hold up now," Phil stressed. "I am not in a relationship with the Princesses. Either of the Princesses!" He beckoned to Celestia. "Come on, help me out here."
The briefest of smiles flashed across Celestia's face before trudging over to the group with her head down. "P-Phil, is this true? Did you really...cheat on me with my sister?"
The resulting look on Phil's face was enough to cause Discord to fall out of his chair laughing.
"B-But...W-Wha-"
She sniffled a couple times for effect. "Was I not good enough for you, Phil? Not enough? Even in this maid uniform am I not sexy enough for you?" Maintaining a sad look on her face, Celestia whipped her flank into Phil's view. "Is it...unsatisfactory?"
Phil struggled to piece together a response as her display had for all intensive purposes, shattered his thinking process, until she stuck her tongue out and gave him a wink.
"Are all humans this gullible, Phil?" she asked playfully.
Even Fluttershy and Twilight, who were saddened, and a little grossed out, by Celestia's display had to keep their jaws off the floor after the Princess' gag.
"No fair!" whined Phil. "If you're gonna joke like that, be less realistic."
"Aww, you just make it too easy," she replied while patting him on the head.
"So, Princess," Twilight interrupted. "You and Phil aren't together, or dating, or engaged, or fu...fu...fun-buddies?"
Celestia giggled. "Twilight my dear, you introduced him to me yesterday. I daresay most of what you just said would be impossible to do in a one-day time frame."
"Then why are you, and for some reason Rainbow Dash, wearing such...umm...provocative outfits?"
"We shouldn't judge them for it, Twilight," said Fluttershy compassionately. "If they want to wear that kind of thing in public, we should fully respect their individuality."
"Fluttershy," groaned Rainbow Dash. "Discord put these on us and used his magic so we couldn't get them off."
"See?" exclaimed Phil. "I told you there wasn't a relationship. But for the record, with drive-by marriages in Las Vegas, getting married in one day isn't as impossible as you'd think."
"Interesting," Twilight pondered, making circles with her hoof. "So that means you're single then-"
"I don't mean to rush you, but I have dinner reservations at 7 and I wouldn't want to be late. May we please move on to the real game?"
Celestia sighed. "Very well, Discord. Continue with the game."
"Thank you, my dear Tia. By the way, nice work on the gag there; I guess you aren't such a stick in the mud after all."
Celestia rolled her eyes. "I'm flattered."
"As you should be. Now, would the mares please exit to the right." A blue door suddenly appeared and opened on the wall in the direction Discord referred to The mares of the room piled out, leaving only Phil and the voice of Discord.
"Phil, now would you kindly exit to the door to your left; we'll talk more about the rules of the next game there." A similar door appeared and opened on the left side of the room, prompting a suspicious Phil to exit the room. Upon entering the next, he was met with an even smaller waiting room than the previous one, with nothing else but another speaker occupying it.
"It's time, Phil. The real game I've been working tirelessly on can now begin. You see this door right here? When you step through it, you will be at the bottom of a six-floored tower. On each level of the tower, there will be a challenge that you, and one other player will help you complete. Each level has a different player, and a different objective. Instructions will be given throughout the challenges. Also, remember this: the fate of every player's reputation lies with you, including your own."
Phil raised an eyebrow. "How is mine at stake?"
Discord chuckled through the intercom. "What, you didn't think I would take pictures of you during the mini-game to use as blackmail?"
"Bu...but,,,there weren't even any cameras!"
"Ha, that's what you think! There were hundreds! My dear Phil, you have a lot to learn about blackmail. It's the ultimate form of persuasion, and I'm sure with the pictures of you giving the regal Princess of Equestria a wingjob will persuade you into trying harder. Now get ready; these challenges will require intelligence, strength, perseverance, and above all, wisdom. Unfortunately, you have none of these things! Best of wishes!" Discord's intercom trailed off with the god of chaos cackling in the background.
"I could fashion a winter coat made entirely of burs and force him to wear it, and that still wouldn't quell the sheer amount of hatred I have for that guy."
He sighed and grabbed the doorknob of the first challenge's door. "Let's see what he's got in store for me."
Phil was genuinely surprised looking at the first challenge; it was actually quite well furnished. Red velvet covered the walls and a lone silver table occupied the centre of the room. It looked somewhere along the lines of an expensive modern restaurant from Earth, giving Phil a pleasant vibe. Seeing no other option in the room, he took a seat at the table, which had priorly prepared lasagna sitting there, clearly waiting for Phil to devour. Grabbing his silverware, Phil was just about to dig into the meal before the cough of a certain announcer stopped him.
Phil begrudgingly put down his silverware. "...I'm gonna take a shot in the dark here and say you want to tell me something, right?"
"Well, not to be picky, but there are two things out of place here. You can't dine on expensive food without expensive clothing." On cue, Phil's chair suddenly enveloped him in a cloud of pink smoke. Swiping it away, Phil looked down to see he was now dressed in a black tuxedo with a red rose in the right chest pocket to add the final touch. "Perfect; has anyone ever told you you clean up nicely? Anyway, the last missing thing would be your partner for this event, but she isn't set to arrive for another...zero seconds."
The door across the room opened slowly to reveal the alabaster mare known as Rarity, dress in a stunning attire that seemed to match the room (psst~this is it).
"Now, I present to the both of you: The First Challenge! The beginning objective is...drum roll please...a dinner date! Have fun you two!"
"That's it?" Phil asked with a furrowed brow. "You built up all this tension for a dinner date?" For once, the talkative announcer didn't give a response. By now, Rarity had walked to the table and taken a seat opposite Phil.
"He did build it up a little too much if you ask me, but being blackmailed into eating exquisite food isn't exactly something I would complain about."
Although replying to Phil's comment, the finely dressed mare looked sheepish just being at the table. "Hey, are you feeling alright?" he asked.
Her eyes seemed to drift off towards anything in the room that wasn't Phil. "It's just that...I'm feeling terrible about what happened at my Boutique with us. When I jumped you, I assumed you had some knowledge of what the flower on the door meant, so I figured you knew what you were getting yourself into. Never in a million years would I have thought that you weren't even from our world!" She finally turned her head towards Phil apologetically. "Could you ever forgive me for what I said and...did yesterday?"
Phil shrugged. "Hey, you aren't the only one that did something like that yesterday, and I forgave them. It's all in the past now...unless Discord has photos of that too."
"Thank you so much, darling. Come to my Boutique whenever and I'll take your measurements and start working on some clothing for you. It might take some time considering you aren't a pony, but at the cost of looking arrogant, I am very good at my trade, so it won't be a problem. See the dress I have on? I actually made this quickly from one of the curtains behind that door; the dress Discord set out for me was just so cheap."
Phil gasped in amazement. "Really?! You made that out of a curtain?! What about the necklace and the shoes and the tiara though?"
"Oh these? I just whined until Discord gave me them. It is just so rare that I ever get to wear a tiara, I just couldn't pass up the chance!"
"...Well, at least whining is better than blackmail. By the way, the way I remember it, you tried jumping my bones cause you were in heat, right? I never remember you seeing my power."
Rarity nodded. "I was thinking the same thing, but when I asked Discord about it while I made my dress, he told me to shut up and that my opinion was stupid."
"Harsh."
"Okay, okay, so I was a little mad that someone saw the hole in my reasoning, but I needed a fifth pony, and without Luna, this tower would have an extra floor for no reason. Normally, I enjoy things that don't have practical uses, but I put so much effort into the last floor, so I couldn't bear to watch it go to waste. Oh, and Phil? If you want to find out the purpose to this game, look up."
"Alright, but I don't see how looking up would-"
It seemed Discord was right; Phil was suddenly soaked from head to toe by a water pail that had been hovering over his head, and from his experiences, he had a pretty good idea what this game would involve.
Rarity was able to back up in her chair and levitate her food behind her to avoid the water. "Hey! Watch it, this lasagna is...is..." Her food stopped levitating and dropped to the floor. "-..is not even half as scrumptious as you, darling!"
Phil's fear of the mare before him was only barely eclipsed by his intense dislike of the creature behind the intercom. "Discord, you son of a bit-WOAH, MY PANTS ARE NOT COMING OFF, RARITY!" He managed to avoid being undressed by the white mare, but she wouldn't give up that easily. Phil began to run away from her around the table, but she was in hot pursuit...hot, sexy pursuit that is.
"Wow, that mare is chasing you like you're a sale on giant hats. And you'd better run, too. Your challenge is to not only take the two pearl necklaces off her neck without breaking either of them, but also to keep your pants on in the process."
"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE HER NECKLACES WHILE I'M RUNNING FROM HER?!" Phil looked back at the steamy locomotion of lust that was catching up to him.
"You're going to rut me, Phil, and you're going to like it!"
"How are you even running this fast in a dress?!"
"RUT ME!"
"Oh, just a reminder for you two, the rule about no magic no longer applies to the challenges. Hope that helps."
"Discord!" Phil shrieked. "I curse you with every fibre of my being!"
Phil's chances of running hit zero when he was propelled into of one of the room's walls by Rarity's magic. He struggled as much as he could to pry himself from the velvet furnished wall, but couldn't break free of the encroaching mare's magical grip on him. Finally catching him, her panting breaths quickly turned into a sultry smile.
"Playing hard to get only makes me want you more," she said, giving him a lusty look he'd seen time and time again. Unfortunately, he was saved last-second in those cases; in this room, he was completely alone. She jumped up onto her back legs and put her mouth beside his ear. "And running away just makes me wetter."
Phil's brain went into overdrive. "Okay Phil, think. You've gotten yourself out of worse situations than this before. Like the time you hung a stack of muddy underwear from the neighbour's front porch...wait, they called the cops on me for that. Well...there was that time when...no, they called the cops on me too. Well, what about...Jesus, have I been arrested for everything? Whatever, this isn't the time to think about that. Maybe if I seem disinterested enough, she'll just leave me alone."
Rarity suddenly gasped. "My oh my, dear. It certainly doesn't take you very long to get in the mood, does it?"
Confused, Phil glanced down to see a growing bulge in his tuxedo pants. He glared at it in disgust. "You're dead to me."
She looked down at it brazenly. "It looks like something wants out; why don't I give it some help?" Her magic dissipated from Phil's body and focused on the button of his pants.
"Crap, how am I supposed to stop this? Could I...I guess...well, here goes nothing!"
He reached out a took hold of her horn firmly. Her magic, being interrupted by Phil's hand, began to flash wildly. She slowly backed away from Phil and gazed at her unstable magic with a frown. "This can't be good."
Her magic erupted upwards in a great burst and spread out along the room. As the last of the magic left her horn, Rarity collapsed onto the floor. Phil, fearing her condition, rushed to her aid, but was surprised to see her with a smile on her face.
She looked up at him with a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. "I...came..."
"...Lovely."
He half-heartedly took the pearls from her neck and raised them in the air. "There, will this do, Discord?"
"That it will; although quicker than expected, you're free to move on to the next stage! I'm sure Rarity will be content staying here for a while longer. Please exit through the door Rarity entered through, then take the stairs up to the next floor. Your next challenge lies there, and trust me when I say the worst is yet to come!"
"...I hate everything..."