Trampled Under Foot
Trampled Under Foot
"Cannonball!"
*SPLOOSH*
Large amounts of cream soda splashed all around the pool, drenching the surrounding donut towels. The nearby people glared angrily at Phil for getting soda all over their donuts. He'd have to apologize later to them. Phil emerged from the pool and happily greeted Mr. Whiskers who handed him a donut to dry off with.
"Your form kinda sucked on that cannonball, dude," said Mr. Whiskers.
Phil waved at him dismissively. "Oh, you don't know anything about cannonballs. It's all about the splash."
Mr. Whiskers snorted rudely while twirling a piece of his mane back and forth. "I'm telling you, there's more to it. A certain art form. By the way, wasn't I trying to eat you before?"
"Oh yeah, you were, weren't you?"
Mr. Whiskers shrugged and tackled Phil to the ground. How Phil didn't see it coming, he'll never know. Mr. Whiskers was just about to taste test Phil's esophagus-
"-Mr. Whiskers, how could you!?" Phil shot up. He rubbed his eyes, taking in the horrible betrayal of Mr. Whiskers being but a mere dream. Mr. Whiskers would never do such a thing.
Looking around at his surroundings, Phil realized he wasn't it Kansas anymore. Or that forest for that matter. He appeared to be in a small bedroom. The room was a dull yellow colour, without much else but a small table with a mirror adorning the room. Looking down, he noticed he was lying in a small, cute turquoise bed. His legs stuck out abnormally far over the end of the bed, making him realize the bed he was in was about the size of a large baby crib.
"I wonder if I'm in a child's bed?" he said to no one but himself. "No, this seems a little small, even for a child. Maybe this is a midget's bed, or maybe even a leprechaun's?"
While pondering the implications of ending up in a leprechaun's bed, and wondering if he still got a pot of gold, Phil moved to get out of the small bed, only to be stopped by a surge of pain through most of his body.
"Oh yeah," he managed to grunt out. "I was injured last night, wasn't I? How did that happen again?" *flashback time*
It was yet another beautiful day of being unemployed and Phil had just woke up from his second nap of the day. Phil liked to think he lived in a nice house(parent's house) and couldn't think of a good reason to move out despite the constant badgering of his parents, friends, and that one homeless man down the road who thinks he's in line to the throne of Queen Elizibeth. That homeless guy thinks he's all that. But I digress.
As I was saying, Phil had just woken up from a nap to find that his fridge was empty of snacks! No snacks!? This was an atrocity that Phil couldn't leave alone, so he took some of his parent's money(nobody's perfect) and proceeded to correct the mistake of nature. However, when Phil opened his front door, he put one foot out the door and realized that his once gorgeous porch, was now replaced by a large, gaping, bottomless hole. Unfortunately, by the time he realized that little piece of information, he was already falling.
He started to fall into what seemed like nothingness while screaming like a little girl. However, as he fell, scenery started to materialize around him. He witnessed as lush trees formed for kilometres(metric master race) around and puffy clouds shot out of the blue. Then, he looked down to see the one thing he didn't want to see. The ground. He let out a high pitched squeal as he plummeted towards the would-be Earth...
~ ~ ~
"Oh yeah, I fell like 40 feet(I'll throw the imperial system a bone) and flat out hit the ground. I'm sort of surprised I'm still alive."
Phil, suddenly remembering his injuries, nervously gazed down to examine his body. He had bandages enveloping his lower and middle torso, as well as some covering his right ankle. Phil sat back in the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. He had expected the damage to be much, much worse. He briefly thanked Cheese Strings for being so good and calcium filled, then moved a cautionary foot out of the bed. He put some weight on it, and realizing it didn't hurt that much, stood up slowly. Phil could feel something wrong with his mid-torso area.
"Damn it, I'm no expert, but I'm willing to bet my ribs are cracked, or broken, or maybe not even there at all!"
He quickly reexamined his rib cage with his fingers.
"My hypothesis still stands. Don't let anybody say those biology classes didn't teach me a thing or two," Phil said to absolutely no one.
After confidentially announcing his diagnosis, Phil happened to recall a mirror somewhere in the room. He located it(without much help from you. Good going readers) and glanced at himself in the mirror. Phil was an average height at about 180 cm give or take, with a pasty white complexion that could reflect sunlight. His deep blue eyes complimented his short, spiked brown hair quite well if he did say so himself, and his light freckles helped bring out his award winning smile. It had yet to win any awards. His physique was a combination of athletic and muscular which was difficult to pull off with all the junk food he consumed on a daily bases. It's metabolism, I ain't gotta explain shit.
Other than his bandaged areas, Phil couldn't see any other spots where he was injured. This was perplexing to Phil. He had recalled running through the woods from his pal, Mr. Whiskers, and procuring a couple of scratches on his face and arms, but there were no visible signs he'd been injured at all. Mighty suspicious if he did say so himself.
Phil took his gaze away from the mirror for a moment, but whipped his head back towards the mirror when something occurred to him. He could see his body. He was in his underwear. Someone had taken his clothes off.
Phil scourged the room in a panic. "Why am I naked? Coming to think of it, where am I anyway? How does a beast like Mr. Whiskers exist? Why is everything so pastel looking? WHY AM I NAKED?!"
So many questions and so few answers. However, Phil's questions came to an unexpected halt when he heard a loud creaking noise. It was the noise of a doorknob turning. That doorknob seriously needed some oil. However, Phil was thinking less of that and more of somebody finally being able to answer all of his questions. ALL OF THEM, MWHAHAHAHAHAH-err sorry. A familiar voice came from behind the door.
"Umm, I thought i heard something coming from upstairs. a-are you a-awake yet? Oh, you probably don't want to be disturbed, I, umm, I'll just go awa-"
It was unmistakable. This was the voice of the girl who had saved him. Now he had two objectives: get answers and thank this girl for his life.
"Wait!" Phil shouted.
His shout was met with a barely audible *eeep* from the other side of the door.
"You're the girl who saved me yesterday right? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
"O-okay," she hesitated. "I-If you w-want to that is."
The door was opened unimaginably slowly, but Phil's impatience was completely overpowered by his intense disbelief. There stood his saviour in all her glory. She had long flowing pink hair, which she appeared to be hiding behind, coupled with bright turquoise eyes. Of course, all of this was dwarfed by her butter-yellow coat, tail and hoofs. In what some would call an overreaction, Phil jumped back in complete surprise.
"T-T-T-TALKING H-HORSE!"
And for the second time in 24 hours, the wuss known as Phil passed out.
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DO YOU EVEN LIFT oh and liked and faved (hope you continue the story)
2327384It was even funnier to make at 2:00 am.
Also, prepare yourself so some lovin
2327401thanks man, I can assure you another chapter by Thursday
I hope he's wearing briefs.
Did you know your title is actually a song?
2327437you betcha! There isn't any nudity...yet
2327446 Yet...
Boy, this is gonna be swell!
2327443 I didn't know it was the title of another song, but it is the title of a song by led zeppelin
as the author, I can be as uncreative with my titles as I please.
2327467
Yeah, I know, but if this is based off of another song do you think you could post it?
Might be interesting to hear.
2327473 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_wEi2aYmdNU
2327500 Interesting...
Surprisingly, though, my computer wont let me watch it on YouTube and does it on the movie player instead so the sound quality is quite bad.
Other than that, the guitar in the beginning sounds quite nice.
Yes, metric is best
2327524 my bad
I would've posted it, but I know how to use technology on the same level as a WW1 veteran, so that isn't happening.
Fun times ahead.
2327443 It's also an album. Hail, Tarj Turunen!
2327446 As is tradition: Talkin' 'bout love! Oh I can't stop talkin' 'bout love.
Awk, no sexual favours... I mean, great chapter! Very funny and it also mentioned cheese strings that's always a bonus... Stuff and things... Yeah...
about the mental state of phill talking to inanimate objects will get you tossed in the loony bin!
Assuming the implications... probably did - he'll likely have to dig really deep to pull it out, however...
With the hope that it finally chokes on it, I assume.
I can confidently state that "confidently" is the word you were looking for. I'm fairly confident that you didn't mean the other one. Context said so.
If he needed to locate the mirror, I'm suprised he doesn't need our help with breathing.
Okay, so this breathing thing works like so...
Looks like you bit a hoof there.
The answer is "hooves".
(also, basis not "bases", but I should've mentioned earlier I guess)
He didn't pass out. That's way too manly.
No. He fainted.