• Member Since 16th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 20th, 2015

Anal Invader


Phil Phillips isn't your everyday slacker. His life practically redefined relaxing and his antics practically redefined ridiculous pranks. One day however, life decides to give Phil a taste of his own medicine when the effects of an ancient comet send him to the magical pastel world of Equestria, but not without consequences. The after effects of the comet give him an odd, unwanted power. Whenever Phil gets wet, he becomes an irresistible mare magnet! Can Phil survive the onslaught of horny mares?
Not a self insert.
Takes place immediately after the events of "Keep Calm And Flutter On."
Side note: All chapter titles will be Led Zeppelin song titles. Because fuck you, that's why. All rights reserved.

Chapters (19)
Comments ( 672 )

All rights reserved... To fuck me? And this is funny as I read this at 12:30 am

DO YOU EVEN LIFT oh and liked and faved (hope you continue the story)

2327384It was even funnier to make at 2:00 am.
Also, prepare yourself so some lovin :raritywink:

2327401thanks man, I can assure you another chapter by Thursday :twilightsmile:

I hope he's wearing briefs.

Did you know your title is actually a song?

2327437you betcha! There isn't any nudity...yet :scootangel:

2327446 Yet...
Boy, this is gonna be swell! :trollestia:

2327443 I didn't know it was the title of another song, but it is the title of a song by led zeppelin :pinkiesmile: as the author, I can be as uncreative with my titles as I please.

Yeah, I know, but if this is based off of another song do you think you could post it?
Might be interesting to hear.

2327500 Interesting...
Surprisingly, though, my computer wont let me watch it on YouTube and does it on the movie player instead so the sound quality is quite bad.
Other than that, the guitar in the beginning sounds quite nice.

"I totally should have gotten more money from that cleaning lady deal". Yes, yes you should have.:twilightsmile:

2327524 my bad :twilightsheepish: I would've posted it, but I know how to use technology on the same level as a WW1 veteran, so that isn't happening.

Uh oh is right Phil, you so screwed :raritywink:

I've decided to like this only on the basis of your chapter naming style. Kudos!

2332677Meh, I'll take what I can get :twilightblush:

Earth? Oh you mean what the earth ponies called their colony on Equestria before the three races combined, it was better than the name Dirtville. After reading what I just wrote how does she not know about Earth there are Earth ponies and I believe are called such in cannon.

2332739After reading what you just wrote, I can do nothing else but agree. I figure throwing the word "planet" in there will fix it for the most part. Don't let me get away with anything like that, y'hear? Please drown me in corrections whenever possible :pinkiesmile:


Ehh why not I'm already correcting spelling on "A Faraway Land" might as well pick up continuity areas in this one

Uh oh....spaghetti o's. I had to say it. Phil is in one tough pickle right now. Feel sorry for him.(and a little jealous)

Lol I don't think [ insert country here] exist haha was pretty funny you know he probably smells horrid cuz of pissing his pants twice

If Fluttershy = custard pie because she's yellow, then would AppleJack = Tangerine?

2336451 you're catching on fast. Too fast :duck:

2336802 Zepellin makes up about 1/3 of my playlist I listen to at work. (The other 2/3 being a mix of Ozzie, Queen, Metallica and a few dubstep pieces.:moustache:)

2336860 Good on you :twilightsmile: I'm a huge zeppelin nerd, so I've got every zeppelin song, save like 5 or so. :twilightsheepish:

"Fluttershy, are you okay? Have you seen a crea...ture? Am I interrupting something?"


Oh, this is going to be good. Especially if Fluttershy goes :flutterrage: when the rest of the Mane 6, as you've said, want a piece of the pie.

Anyway, this is looking to a hilarious parody of bad HiE and Self-Insert fics.

Keep up the good work.

2339325 you can bet Fluttershy's reaction will worth seeing :twilightsheepish: thanks for the praise man.

The equivalent of a plate landing on the floor is the current sound I hear at the end.

... Well that escalated quickly :trollestia:

'Spike hopped up to ride Twilight'

Lucky Spike... Oh, oh, out of the gutter, sorry :twilightsheepish:

Good Times, Bad Times, you know I had my share; when my woman left home for a brown eyed man, well, I still don't seem to care. :pinkiecrazy: Oh dear Celestia, make it stop! My head is reeling with the active effects of reminiscence! Just don't name a chapter "Stairway to Heaven", "Kashmir", or "Immigrant Song" before you near the end. I'd be fuckin' mad if you jumped the gun on those!

2327443 It's also an album. Hail, Tarj Turunen!

2327446 As is tradition: Talkin' 'bout love! Oh I can't stop talkin' 'bout love.

2337439 Wow, you picked a less well known song for this! I like Physical Graffiti, so I still know this song, lol. For this one, all lyrics. It's got an abstract form, anyways.

Drop down, baby, let your daddy see.
Drop down, mama, just dream of me
Well, my mama allow me to fool around all night long
Well, I may look like I'm crazy, I should know right from wrong
See me comin', throw your man out the door
Ain't no stranger, been this way before
See me comin', mama, throw your man out the door
I ain't no stranger, I been this way before.

Put on your night shirt and your morning gown
You know by night I'm gonna shake 'em down
Put on your night shirt Mama, and your morning gown
Well, you know by night I'm gonna shake 'em down
Your custard pie, yeah, sweet and nice
When you cut it, mama, save me a slice
Your custard pie, I declare, it's sweet and nice
I Like your custard pie
When you cut it, mama... mama, please save me a slice.

I'd like a slice of your custard pie.
Drop down

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
If you're goin' down South
They go no work to do,
If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down....


Looks like "Want it/Need it" is back. D*mn comets, they just have to interfere with your love life.

I hope this doesn't happen to one of the princesses. If it does, he's screwed.

to turn into mare magnet, just add water. its going to suck for Phil if he goes out when it rains.

Soooooo that's what fluoride in the water does.:twilightoops:

And that was how the human named Phil became Aquaphobic.

I hope it does. That's gonna be hilarious.

You know, if the right one walks in, they could make a shit-ton of money.

oh yeah, this is getting good, mare fight next chapter, yay! :yay:

2343861 Let the nostalgia flow through you! The next few chapters will probably use the more obscure zeppelin titles. And to be honest, I have no idea how to include Kashmir :applejackconfused:

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