What Is And What Should Never Be: Part One
What Is And What Should Never Be: Part One
"Alright, could someone please tell me who that guy was, how he made a door out of nowhere, and if possible, just where the hell we are?"
Walking through the door Discord had provided had sent Phil, Rainbow Dash, and Celestia to a rather peculiar room. It was the size of a large warehouse and was covered in randomly assorted wallpaper. What was even more peculiar was the trail of square panels that lined the floor. Each one was different in its own way from having polka dots to having a picture of Discord posing as a model. Three sets of railings lined the panels and turned seemingly without a reason, but never intersected with the other pair of railings. Ridiculously large dice were also set in front of each entrance to the railings, leading them all to believe one thing.
They were playing a goddamn boardgame.
"Guys, seriously, what the hell is going o-"
Turning to them, he found they were less concentrated on what he was saying and more concentrated on ripping off the clothing Discord had somehow managed to get on them.
"Why won't it come off?!" Rainbow Dash growled through her teeth.
"Discord must have enchanted them in some way," Celestia responded, also struggling with her school-filly uniform. "I swear once this is over, he'll be reading to the elderly for a month!"
"Aww, Celestia, is that your way of saying you want me to read to you?"
The voice of Discord was emitting from the ceiling of the room.
"In case you're all wondering, I'm on the intercom. I'm the announcer after all. Because you all look so confused, I'll explain the rules of the game. You each pick a railing you'll start at, then you roll the giant dice I've prepared for you all. Aren't they just more fun big? Whatever number you get, you'll move that same amount of panels. If one of you can get to the end of your railing, you win! If not, I win! Oh, and don't bother messing with your outfits. They'll be changing periodically throughout the game. Best of luck to you! Oh, and I forgot to mention something! If I win, those pictures are going right to the Canterlot Press!"
Celestia scowled. "There's no way Discord would make it this easy. What is he thinking?"
"Well no matter what he's thinking, we're stuck," said Rainbow Dash nonchalantly. "I say we get this over with and start the game!"
Strutting over to the middle railing, because strutting was the only thing she could do in panties, she grabbed the dice beside the railing and tossed it into the air. It was rather soft despite its size and gently landed on a '5'.
"Sweet! Not a bad roll to start off."
She quickly fluttered over to the fifth panel and landed with a smug expression. "Your move, gu-" A sudden blast of pink smoke coming from the panel below her drowned Rainbow Dash out.
"I guess that wasn't the great roll she thought it was, huh?"
Celestia stomped her hoof into the ground. "Discord, I swear, if that hurt her I'm going to...to...oh my..."
The pink smoke cleared to reveal Rainbow Dash, now dressed in pink laced panties and matching pink socks that reached all the way up her legs and drew focus to her flank, something Phil noticed as he found himself quite focused on it. Even he had to concede that with the panties and the socks propping her flank up, she had one fine ass...for a pony of course.
The embarrassed pegasus only felt more embarrassed when she noticed where Phil's sights had drifted.
"W-What do you think you're staring at?!" she said slamming her flank into the floor, trying to hide her shame.
"W-Wha, I wasn't staring at anything!" retorted a very lying, very flustered Phil. "Damn those panties, they threw me off..."
"Let it be shown on record that Phil was in fact, staring."
"Shut up you mismatched Mr. Potato Head! Seriously, who even are you?"
Feeling a hoof on his shoulder, Phil spun around to see Celestia giving him a stern look.
"Phil, getting worked up is just what he wants. His name is Discord and he is the reformed God of Chaos."
"God?" asked Phil in disbelief. "That guy is a God?! Like the type people pray to?!"
"Yes," she responded calmly. "Although I don't think many ponies pray to him. Before his reform, he sought to plunge Equestria into eternal chaos, but was stopped by the Elements of Harmony. Now that he's been reformed, he usually just causes minor inconveniences on the side, but there's no way of telling if that's what this is right now."
Phil's expression went completely serious. "Are you saying this guy might be trying to hurt us?"
"Even, if he is, I won't let that happen," she said, placing her head on his shoulder to reassure him. "After all, he isn't the only God here. Not just anypony can raise the sun."
Phil stood silent for a moment. "...I'm sorry, you do what now-"
"Could you two get intimate some other time? We are in the middle of a game right now."
The two hastily backed away from each other, a faint red hue adorning both their cheeks.
"W-Well, I guess it's my turn then," Celestia said with a nervous laugh.
She began lifting her die with magic before Discord interrupted. "Tut tut tut, Celestia. There's no magic allowed in this game. You must use your hooves just like everypony else."
With a silent nod, she attempted to lift her dice, but found the object to be unimaginably heavy.
"Oh, what's this?" Discord asked dramatically. "If Player Celestia fails to roll her die, she'll have to forfeit!"
Celestia smirked. "So this is the kind of game you set up, Discord? You never really were one for rules." Bracing herself, she channelled as much energy she could into her leg and bucked the die onto its side, revealing the number '3'. "How's that for rolling the dice?"
"...We'll allow it."
Celestia opened her wings and flapped them enough so that she could hover over top of the third panel. "If I don't touch the panel itself, I'm willing to bet its magic won't affect me. Am I correct, Discord?"
"You are, my dear, however if you don't touch the panel, your turn won't end, meaning the game won't continue. Your options are...limited."
Celestia frowned and looked over at the other two, who could only shrug in response. She had no choice then. Ceasing her wing's movements, she landed softly on the panel and braced herself for its effects. When nothing happened, she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good, so only some of the panels do-" A cloud of pink smoke quickly engulfed Celestia as she spoke.
Discord roared with laughtered. "You've gotta love the delayed panels!"
Clearly Celestia did not love the delayed panels as it bestowed a classic french maid outfit onto her royal body, the black velvet material curving to her slender form, and the back displaying a fine view of Celestia's rump. That is, a fine view from Phil's standpoint.
"And Phil stares directly at Celestia's exposed rear without any signs of remorse. You can practically see him drooling from here. How despicable..."
"WHAT?! I'M NOT DROOLING!" yelled Phil. "Just how can you call me despicable when you're the one who came up with this perverted game in the first place?!"
"You should probably be less worried about me and more worried about your turn."
Phil gulped. Images flashed through his head of him in tutus and assless chaps and other sexy items. "W-Well. here I go I guess." He tossed his die upwards and watched it land directly on the number '1'. Swallowing his fears for the sake of the game, he stepped onto the first panel and waited for the consequences. To Phil's surprise, rather than a cloud of pink smoke, the panel fell through the ground and took Phil with it. He heard Rainbow and Celestia call out to him, but was too busy falling to call back.
He landed on top of a mattress, breaking his fall, and immediately scanned the room to see where he was. He had fallen into an old, medieval looking room made of cobblestone and lit with torches. Directly in front of him were two jail cells that, to his displeasure, contained Rainbow Dash and Celestia, who were rubbing their heads after landing in the jail cell in a similar way to Phil's landing. The two were separated by a wall of cobblestone, but the doors to their cells were wide open. The only other thing of importance in the room was a table with two large thermometer-like devices and a glass of water. Before any of the group could comprehend what was happening, the sound of Discord's intercom shot through the room.
"Testing, testing. Ah, there we go! Here comes my favourite part of the game. At the end of the final Player's turn, there will be a special mini-game of sorts. I call this one: Seduced in Seconds. Do you all see those devices on the table over there? They are labelled C and R respectively, for Celestia and Rainbow Dash of course. These devices are hooked up to the clothing that they're wearing and measure the level of pleasure they are experiencing. As of now, they are both at the bottom; your goal is to have them both reach the top, which is the maximum amount of pleasure they can record, in a matter of 180 seconds, or 3 minutes. If you fail to do so, you all lose! Use whatever means you deem necessary, Phil. The game is starting in...now! Good luck!"
Phil Phillips had never been more horrified in his life. Within 3 minutes, he would have to pleasure two mares to the maximum that meter could take, and there was only one way he knew how to please a mare in that way...or was there two? His thoughts went briefly brought back to his massage with Fluttershy.
"Wings!" he said to himself. "They both have wings!"
He hesitantly got off the mattress and went over to Celestia's jail cell, his face flushed from what he intended to do. Celestia, watching Phil come over, had a look of pure shock.
"N-Now, Phil," she said fearfully. "T-There's no need to be so h-hasty. I'm sure we can find a way around doing t-this."
Phil looked at her with serious eyes. "Sorry Celestia, we don't have enough time to find another way. Now could you lie down? I'll promise to make this quick."
She was quivering, but still lied down as he asked. When Phil got to his knees behind her, Celestia's mind went into panic mode.
"By my beard, he's going in dry!" she thought. "This is just too fast! I've only known Phil for two days. What would ponies think of me if I gave it up that quickly? And it's been years since I've had a good rutting! Would I even be any good? Oh, my body just isn't rea-oh, he's going for the wings."
Phil gently brushed his fingertips along the edge of her wings. A noticeable shiver ran through Celestia's body. "H-How does that feel?" Phil asked nervously. He didn't receive a response from the bashful Princess, but his question was answered when he noticed Celestia's pleasure meter slowly starting to fill with a pink liquid.
"Sorry about this, Celestia, but if I'm gonna meet that time limit, I'm gonna need to step it up a notch."
Phil moved from brushing to full out massaging the inner part of her wings. He heard Celestia moan softly while her wings shot out to the side. He had to marvel at the sheer size of her wingspan; they had to be at least double what Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy's was. Celestia craned her head and looked at Phil, her white cheeks red and her amethyst eyes swimming with nervousness.
"P-Phil...y-your fingers! There so...mmph." A wave of pleasure shot through the Princess as Phil undid the tension in one of her wing's muscles. Phil's eyes remained dead set on the pleasure meter as it rose to the halfway point.
"It's going up, but it isn't going up fast enough! I'll have to try something different; I wonder if compliments work..."
"Your eyes are really pretty!" he blurted out.
She began moving her hoof around in circles on the ground. "M-My eyes aren't really that pretty..." The meter began increasing faster, almost to three quarters as he continued to rub her wings.
"Oh, but really, they are! And you have...really beautiful hair!"
The meter was reaching the top. All it needed was one final push. "And let's not forget about your...umm..." His eyes briefly glanced down at Celestia's flank, but he was far too embarrassed to say what he was thinking. "...Castle interior? Yeah, the interior in your castle is just gorgeous! Just who is your decorator?"
Surprisingly, that seemed to be enough as Celestia's pleasure meter peaked as she let out a cry of ecstasy.
"With one down, all Phil needs to do is finish Rainbow Dash in...65 seconds."
Phil covered his face out of embarrassment. "Damn, he was watching the entire time. Knowing that bastard is here does not make this any easier...wait, did he say 65 seconds?"
Phil burst out of Celestia's jail cell and whipped open the door to Rainbow Dash's cell to see Rainbow in a defensive stance. "Oh no you don't," she said, warning Phil. "You aren't going anywhere near me with those fingers of yours! I heard the noises the Princess was making!"
"Oh come on," he replied unconvincingly. "I was just massaging her wings! Honest! And if I don't hurry and massage yours, we're gonna lose and those photos of you two will be in the paper tomorrow."
"Whatever!" she yelled, a faint pink encasing her cheeks. "Better that than have you perving all over me!"
"Perving?!" exclaimed Phil. "I'll have you know I was voted most likely to not creep women while they changed in highschool!"
"Congratulations! You win nothing! Now get out of here!"
"30 seconds left. It's really coming down to the wire. Can Phil pleasure Rainbow Dash in the given time?"
"Goddamn it," he groaned. "You're not leaving me with any other options, Rainbow Dash. This is for your and the Princess's sake."
Phil walked out of the cell and approached the table and took the glass of water off it. Looking her in the eye, he poured the glass onto his head and watched as Rainbow's wings puffed out from behind her.
She began giggling almost maniacally. "Hehehe, here comes Mommy, Phil!"
"Oh come on, I didn't even set that one up this time!"
In a flash, she tackled Phil to the ground and began rubbing her body against his, her marehood grinding one particulate area of his pants. "You aren't the only one that's wet, Phil."
"Ding ding, we have a winner!"
Suddenly, the three in the dungeon were teleported back up to the panels they had previously been standing on. Phil was no longer wet, something he could only guess was the result of teleporting, and Rainbow Dash was no longer under his power's influence. They all looked around for a moment, confused at what happened, until Discord came back on the intercom.
"Good work you three; you managed to beat my challenge. Who would've thought that Phil was so good a pleasuring mares?" He giggled at the angry glare Phil gave the intercom. "Well, now that you've beaten the mini-game, I'll let you in one something; losing the mini-games doesn't mean a thing! You could have lost and kept playing!"
There was steam shooting out of Phil's ears (a truer thing has never been written). "But you told us we would lose the game if we lost the mini-game!"
"You see my dear Phil, we in the chaos industry like to call that lying through our teeth. But, now that you have won, you get a bonus! Somepony on your team gets a second roll this turn. Now, who is that-"
"IT'S ME, I'M TAKING IT, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FLYING LIZARD!"
"That stings, Phil. However, you have a game to finish. Take your roll."
A sinister smile cracked its way across Phil's face. "No, this game ends now!" Taking his giant die, Phil pressed the die into a sharp corner of his railing and began engraving each side with lines.
"...Just what are you doing?"
"Why don't I show you!" Phil tossed his die and watched it land on one of the sides he engraved.
"It appears Phil rolls a...a...a '115'...WHAT?!"
Phil looked up at the intercom with a cheeky grin on his face. "If you didn't want me adding numbers to my dice in the form of scratches, you should have said so in the rules." Phil broke into a full out sprint down his railway.
"B-But there's only 80 panels on my board!"
"Well then," Celestia said intervening. "I guess that means we win, does it not?"
"...Damn, technically I have to accept that...well played, Phil Phillips..."
The three let out a triumphant cheer as Phil landed on the room's final panel, securing their victory.
"Well Discord," Phil gloated. "This means we win. Now you have to teleport us back and rip up those photos."
"Not quite."
"What?!" yelled the three in an angry unison.
"Well it is true you've beaten this stage of the game, there is still one final part to complete. Reveal, part two!"
The wall furthest the three players suddenly began to crumble to reveal a waiting room. The three, not knowing what else to do, climbed the rubble of the fallen wall to see three ponies huddled against the wall, clearly shocked at the falling of the wall. Rainbow Dash was the first to realize who they were.
"Twilight! Fluttershy! Rarity! What are you guys doing here?!"
Rarity groaned in response. "Discord is...blackmailing us into playing a game of his. He told us to wait here for the rest of the 'players' to show up."
"He's not blackmailing me," piped up Fluttershy. "It's just that Discord asked me with his puppy-dog eyes, and I just can't refuse when he asks me like that. He's just so adorable."
Twilight chuckled. "Leave it up to Fluttershy to think that Discord of all ponies is adorable."
Phil looked at the new arrivals and felt nothing but fear. "I'm getting a really bad feeling about this. I really don't want to play this game anymore."
"Too late to back out now; you've already beat the first part. Now that all the players are here, we can begin the final phase of the game. You should all prepare yourselves, because this is when the real game starts!"
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...Holy shit, did this chapter just make someone change their opinion on my story? My dislikes went down one and my likes went up one...today was a good day
Hot
Am I the only one who thought of the first 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' movie?
Also, good chapter. Your take on Discord is great, and just...castle interior
May I ask what made you feel weird about writing this chapter
2632090 I don't write clop, and this is the closest I've gotten to it. It was just weird at some parts, that's all
I applaud you on this chapter. GIVE US PART 2 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!
If you don't mind...
well... that escalated quickly
Because everything ever would be infinitely more hilarious if he did!
2632297 and because this guys pretty much just makes your ears jizz all over your brain
No, not even Discord could make War and Peace bearable to read. However, he would most likely abridge it to a more readable version!
2632102 Don't write clop? Strange, coming from a guy who's membership name is Anal Invader! I can respect your choice not too, though you better watch out; that was pretty close. Take this any further and this story'll be Mature-Sex before you know it.
Yes i do love this story! cant wait for the next update
PFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHA!
Great new chapter, so fuckin funny 
great chapter!
Huh, so Discord is a shipping perv........JUST LIKE ME!!
Correction Time! (or fixes from a grammar nazi)
The wall furthest from the three players
rubble has two b's
Anyone else get the urge to play Mario Party?
...
Just me, then?
So, the image of Discord posing.
"Draw me like one of your French girls.jpg" comes to mind, Discord would totally do it too.
Eeyup!
I agree with Big Mac, this chapter was pure epic win and i look forward to more!
I think this line was supposed to be bolded as well.
John DeLancie does have a good voice, but I always prefer Morgan Freeman. :)
2633099 Woah, totally missed that, thanks for the catch. I was trying to get this one out so fast that I may have missed a couple errors
Sigh. I'm ashamed with myself for imagining what I did...
2633173 np. I know full well that feel. lol
Awesome!
Love it! Loving every second of it!
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A2KJkPpabaJRU28A9PCJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1n?back=h
nullhttp://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A2KJkPqBbaJRR0cAnAWJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBlMTQ4cGxyBHNlY
"By my beard, he's going in dry!"
I laughed so hard tears are running down my knees, wait...... those are not tears....... noooooooooooo
images.sodahead.com/polls/003450679/3538892902_Lol_94249156205_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg
incoming shit-storm
Part 2 soon?
I love how the other three have yet to comment or even apparently notice the outfits that Rainbow Dash and Celestia are wearing.
Wait, where's AJ...? Hehe...
115....
Nazi zombies reference?
2634734 No
2634367 Yes
go Phil out cheat the cheapest cheater of all
Im really liking this story
! Another! 
Hah, now he made Celestia like him even more. Perhaps a public display infront of those other 3 will suit Discord's needs.
So ANAL Invader doesn't write clop what a cowinsidence
2637433 Not to be that guy, but it's ironic, not coincidental. Why is everyone so surprised. Just cause I enter the prostates of those worthy of experiencing my touch, I'm some sort of perv? Well, I am a perv, but I don't write sex scenes. I'll leave that kind of thing to the pros
Awww... Just wing rubbing? There could have been more... teehee
Awww... Just wing rubbing? There could have been more... teehee
2638519 btw are you saying that spike is a pro?
man keep this up and ill follow you to the pits of hell and back. i look forward to Phils rape.
Which do you all think is better
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/055/6/9/princess_celestia___hide_and_seek_by_dragk-d5w04bp.png
or
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/156/8/e/princess_maid_celestia_by_johnjoseco-d3i46hd.jpg
2868410 French Maid Celestia, mos def.
This was... It brought me to tears with its amazingness... Celestia in a maid outfit... Celestia moaning... And I guess Rainbow Dash alright... But Celestia though! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Discord should narrate everything that can be narrated ever because Discord. But he shouldn't do it alone, no... Morgan Freeman must also narrate!
discord, you wonderful funny evil d**k
Interesting, though surprised AJ hasn't shown up for them all yet.
God what a change in rules
dangit, I need to go to bed. Should have 2 hours ago.