After activating the slipspace drive Jorge is teleported to a strange new world.
Spartans never die, they're just missing in action. This has never been more true for Jorge-052 as, after activating the slipspace drive that was supposed to kill him, he is instead flung into a strange world where war is but a distant memory. Will the aging soldier be able to adapt to this new peaceful planet? Or will his only salvation be found in finding a way back to his own chaotic universe?
(It's my first time, so be gentle) Now featuring a TVTropes page by Sabo88
Noble Five clasped his hand around that of the gray armored Spartan in front of him. Lifting the super soldier with ease, the seven foot behemoth slowly made his way to the edge of the hangar, where the abyss fell before them. The orange Spartan looked at his gray companion’s face, only to see the reflection of his own visor on Noble Six’s helmet. Noble Five closed the distance between them and the edge of the platform at a painfully sluggish pace. Despite this, he still arrived much sooner than he would have liked.
“Tell ‘em to make it count,” he grunted as he threw his brother-in-arms out of the hangar and into the cold emptiness of space. Noble Five watched as Noble Six floated off to the surface of the planet below them. Smaller and smaller he got, until he was completely engulfed by the green sphere behind him, leaving the orange armored soldier truly on his own. The human slowly raised his head and looked at the planet that had once been his home.
The continents were obscured by white clouds that, from the Corvette’s perspective, looked like nothing more than wisps of white smoke, dancing and swimming over the surface of the planet. Massive hurricanes formed and collided with swirling seas of white and dark menacing storms. The flashes from their lightning carried so much raw power that even from orbit they were a frighteningly beautiful sight, demonstrating the destructive force that nature possessed.
The planet was also covered with enormous bodies of crystalline water, which shone in the sun’s rays like oceans of diamond. Noble Five knew that these seas were home to some of the most breathtaking and diverse ecosystems in the known universe, but from his distance they looked no more magnificent than puddles after a light drizzle. The continents themselves were various tones of bright or muddy greens, demonstrating just how much vegetation still covered the planet’s land formations. Millions of acres of forest carpeted the orb, creeping up the planet like a vine’s tendrils, before being stopped by the pure white of the Reach’s frigid poles.
To complete the sight, the planet was located near a turquoise nebula, which shifted and wisped its way around the orb, giving the entire thing an aura similar to that of the famed Aurora Borealis back on Earth. The entire sight was almost enough to distract one from the fires that burned on the planet’s surface…
…almost
Half of the planet was engulfed in an orange inferno, which threatened to turn the surface, and everything on it, to glass. To the unbiased eye, the sight itself may have held a sort of haunting beauty, as the dark side of the sphere was aglow with red and orange light, which provided a nice contrast to the blue and green of the rest of the planet. To the soldier looking down at it from the corvette however, there were few sights more horrifying.
Still, he managed to tear his gaze away from the destruction long enough to admire the magnificence of the planet for what he assumed would be the last time.
“Köszönöm,” he whispered softly to himself as he looked at his home for the last time.
He slowly turned his back on the planet, and picked up his helmet from the floor. Placing it back on his head, the soldier stopped for a moment to take in the scene in front of him. The hangar of the ship was an utter mess. Dozens of corpses, both Human and Covenant, littered the colossal room, and gore spattered almost every surface of the smooth and previously pristine docking bay. Out of the half of dozen troops sent in to clear the ship, only Noble Six and Noble Five had managed to survive. Fighting in such close quarters had been intense, and the results were far from pleasant.
The Spartan took a deep breath, and examined the carnage. Near the Pelican, a few feet away from him, were the remains of a Marine, whose chest had been torn open by a direct hit from a fuel rod cannon blast. Nearby, her crimson blood pooled and mixed with the purple bodily fluids of a Sangheili Ranger, who had the unfortunate circumstance of being right next the human soldier when the explosive hit. The Spartan remembered that particular Sangheili. Its legs had been torn to shreds by the collateral damage of the fuel rod, and Noble Five had unceremoniously crushed its head with the heel of his boot. The soldier looked down to his feet, and sure enough, his right foot was still caked with the Ranger’s now dry blood.
A few feet to his right, lay the disembodied head of another jarhead, his body mere inches away. The stump of the neck was cauterized with the signature burns of a Sangheili energy sword. The Marine’s expression was contorted in a horrific expression of anguish, the same he had no doubt worn seconds before being killed. His cold, lifeless eyes stared at the Spartan, who gazed back. “Why do you get to live?” they seemed to ask.
“I don’t,” sighed Noble Five to himself. He tore his gaze away from the slaughter, and attempted to focus his attention on something else. The hangar itself was very spacious. It had two energy fields facing each other, behind which lay the coldness of space. In between both were two entrances that led to other parts of the Corvette. These doorways were surrounded by platforms and walkways, each featuring weapons lockers and plasma turrets. The entire room had a very symmetrical feel. The center of the cavernous docking bay was noticeably sparse, save for three massive Pylons that rested in its center. The room was composed of various shades of blues, greens, and reds. But one color was present above all others.
“Purple,” growled the Spartan to himself. “I hate bloody purple.”
For many humans, purple had become synonymous with the Covenant. It was the color of death. The color of genocide. The color that flashed out of the corner of your eye, and which usually meant instant death.
The soldier was snapped out of his musings by a synthetic voice emanating from the Pelican beside him.
“Thirty seconds to impact remaining.”
Noble Five turned his attentions away from the hangar, and towards the gray troop carrier. Taking a deep breathe, he began making his way towards the modified Slip-Space Drive attached to the back of the ship. His steps echoed across the room, and shattered the deathly silence of the hangar.
*Thump*
*Thump*
*Thump*
Time seemed to slow for the Spartan as he neared the makeshift explosive. He was so concentrated on the task before him, that he failed to notice the sweat that beaded his forehead and trailed down his face.
*Thump*
*Thump*
*Thump*
Soon, his heart began mirroring the loud stomps of his steps. The world became muffled as blood pounded in his ears.
*Thump*
*Thump*
He quickly found himself standing at the back of the Pelican, staring at the device that would be the cause of his demise. The most expensive and technologically advanced thing ever created by humanity, and he was about to blow it up for the sake of his home planet. There must have been some sort of irony in that, he thought. The Shaw-Fujikawa was a sight to behold; at the very least, he was using something visually impressive to kill himself. And it was only fitting that he, the heavy weapons expert of Noble Team. be the one to activate it. Maybe that was the irony of the situation? He didn’t know.
The Spartan took a deep breath, and lifted his armored arm. Slowly extending his finger, he neared the detonation switch in anticipation:
It was, un-ironically, a big red button. The Spartan couldn’t help but crack a very faint, and somewhat nervousness, grin at the cliché. It was always a big red button. As his finger grazed the tip of the switch, a blue spark shot out from the device and shocked him. The static traveled up and down his spine, and there was a fuzzy after effect that kept the hairs on the back of his neck erect. The soldier recoiled from the drive and examined it with confusion. Discounting the fact that the Slip-Space Drive was not supposed to be emitting sparks (much less shocks of electricity), he should not have felt the jolt through his armor.
The human leaned on the Pelican and released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. A cold pang pierced his chest. He looked back at the piles of mutilated corpses that littered the hangar. The soldier tried swallowed, but his throat had gone painfully dry.
“Fifteen seconds to impact remaining.”
He turned around and gazed out through the force-field behind him, and towards the Reach. The planet looked larger now, but colors were less vibrant. The clouds looked less lively, the continents less lush, and the oceans less crystalline. Everything appeared to be washed in a dull, gray, ash-colored hue. Everything, except the fires, which burnt brighter than ever before; their hellish flames glowing maliciously as dark tendrils of smoke slithered from the surface.
The Spartan’s fist tightened in anger. He straightened himself, and faced the Slip-Space Drive.
“Ten”
His foot echoed a final time as he took a single, last step forward.
“Nine”
He raised his hand once more…
“Eight”
…gently placed his finger on the big red button…
“Seven”
…and closed his eyes.
“Six”
His breathing was steady.
“Five”
His heart rate was slow and tranquil.
“Four”
His muscles were completely relaxed.
“Three”
He took one last deep breath, making sure to savor the filtered and artificial air.
“Two”
“Búcsú,” he whispered.
“One”
*Click*
The Spartan was instantly blinded by a white light that erupted from the machine. He felt like he had just had a flash bang go off in his face. He was utterly blind. Suddenly, as quickly as the light came, it was gone; only to be replaced by an expanding dark sphere that was heading straight for him. Pain was all he felt as the darkness engulfed him. It was as if every single molecule in his body was trying to shoot off into every direction at once.
The soldier felt cold, so cold it burned. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn't feel anything but the searing pain that now wracked his body. He tried to scream, but there was nothing to scream with. It was as if his body was no longer there, and was instead vaporized into oblivion, while his mind was forced to linger and suffer in this dark hell. The pain continued for what felt like hours, never letting up. The agony gradually began to intensify. The Spartan was long past the point where he cared about anything. All his wants, his emotions and desires were gone, along with his body, and all that was left was this torment that was afflicting him. At last the pain reached its crescendo, and, as suddenly as it had started, the pain ceased in a final flash of white light.
Celestia’s sun was shining brightly on Ponyville that beautiful summer morning; as it invariably did every morning, as a matter of fact. There was naught a cloud in the sky for as far as the eye could see, leaving a veritable sea of blue over everypony’s head. A large column of smoke rose up from the Everfree forest, probably as a result of a fire; although it had been an uncharacteristically wet summer so there was no worry that it might spread towards the village. In truth, the light scent of sulfur it left was actually quite pleasant. It smelled of a fireplace during autumn, or that of smoked mahogany; and best of all, it did nothing to taint the freshness of the air. Off towards the rolling hills that lay east of the town, there came a stunning rainbow fresh out of the weather factories at Cloudsdale.
It was a perfect summer’s day.
Yup, them weather ponies sure out did themselves this mornin’, Applejack thought cheerfully as she hauled her apple stand towards Ponyville. Couldn’t ask fer a nicer Sunday.
She sighed contently. Taking her produce towards Ponyville’s Sunday market was one of her favorite parts of the week. With all the work that taking care of the farm required, Applejack was rarely ever allowed to simply enjoy nature or the peace of the outdoors.
She took a deep breath of fresh air, and sighed a second time. The ruffling of leaves in the wind mixed with the chirping of birds was music to her ears. She lazily turned her head and admired the beautiful trees that grew along the dirt road. These large timbers were truly a sight to behold. Dwarfing any regular tree, this majestic vegetation was grown using unicorn magic with the purpose of making them large enough to protect anypony from the beautiful, albeit hot, sun. They were quite breathtaking.
“Course, they ain't as nice as mah apple trees” Applejack chuckled to herself.
A few minutes later Ponyville began to appear over the horizon. As Applejack approached the quaint village, she could make out other ponies pulling similar stands towards the center of town. To her right Applejack saw Carrot Top tugging a cart with a small smile on her face, clearly eager to begin selling her harvest. When she saw the orange cowpony she paused to wave. Applejack grinned and waved back; they may have been competitors but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends.
The streets of Ponyville began to get progressively more crowded as Applejack made her way towards the town's plaza, where the market took place. The apple farmer kept a steady pace, stopping occasionally to greet a friendly face or two. She paused when she reached the entrance of the square. The market was already underway and ponies of all shapes, sizes, and colors were strolling past stands, making purchases and socializing among themselves.
Applejack considered herself a country pony through and through. She hated the hustle and bustle of the big city, and that was one of the many reasons why she found Ponyville such an appealing place to live. But if there was one thing about big cities and crowds that she enjoyed it was large markets they held. Heralding the price of her wares to ponies passing by her stand, the satisfaction of a sale, even haggling with a particularly stubborn costumer; it was a kind of excitement that was unparalleled, and she loved every second of it.
Applejack quivered in anticipation. This was what she lived for; well, this and bucking apples of course. She couldn't wait. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to enter the chaos of the square. However, no sooner had she taken a single step that she was blinded by a clump of mud that that landed right on her face without warning.
“What the…?” she exclaimed cleverly.
Applejack turned towards the source of the projectile, ready to tell off whoever had the nerve to fling it at her, only to see Roseluck struggling to get her own stand moving. It was stuck in a large mud puddle, and Roseluck herself was covered in the gooey substance from head to hoof. She was pushing the stand as hard as she could but to no avail. Roseluck decided to give it one last shove which caused her to slip and fall face first in the puddle.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” she wailed in frustration. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes while she looked at the stand dejectedly.
“Need a hoof there?”
Roseluck turned around and saw Applejack smiling weakly at her.
“Huh?” asked Rose.
Applejack couldn’t her help but grin at Roseluck’s intelligent rebuttal. “Yer stand.” The cowpony pointed towards the aforementioned stand, which was slowly sinking deeper into the mud. “If Y’all want ah can buck that sucker right outta there for you lickity split.”
“Oh, uh…” Roseluck was unsure. On the one hoof, Applejack was the most reliable pony in town; but on the other hoof, she was afraid that Applejack’s kick could damage the flimsy wooden structure. Roseluck looked at her stand, and then back at Applejack. She was reluctant, but what other choice did she have?
“Sure,” she muttered. At that moment she noticed that Applejack’s face seemed to be smeared with mud. It didn't take long for her to connect the dots.
“Oh my gosh Applejack, your face is covered in mud! Did I do that? I am so sorry.”
Applejack shook her head and smiled. “Don’t y’all worry 'bout it, this aint even close to as bad as the pig wrasslin’ contest at the Canterlot rodeo last year.”
At the mention of pig wrestling, Roseluck tried, and failed, to suppress a grimace which Applejack was more than happy to ignore. She gingerly made her way towards Roseluck’s stand an examined it for a few seconds before swinging around and giving it a controlled but firm buck. It instantly rolled out of the puddle and back onto a dryer part of the street.
Applejack looked at the stand and smiled smugly. She once again turned to face Rose who stared at the orange cowpony as if she had just saved her life.
“Thank you very much Applejack! If it wasn’t for you, I might’ve had to wait until next week to sell my flowers.”
Roseluck made her way towards her stand and pulled out a large sunflower
“Here, to show you my thanks, I’d like to give this to you on the house.”
“Ah appreciate the offer Rose, but ah couldn’t take that without payin’.”
“Please, it’s the least I can do after you helped me,” insisted Roseluck as she placed the sunflower in Applejack’s hoof.
“Well, that’s mighty kind uh you.” Applejack wasted no time in popping the yellow flower into her mouth, and began chewing enthusiastically. The sunflower seeds gave a satisfying *crunch* as the cowpony enjoyed her treat.
“mmmmmmmm,” She groaned in satisfaction
“Glad to see you like it,” chuckled Rose. “I’ll see you later tonight okay.”
“seemf yaph,” said Applejack between bites. When she was done eating she began to once again haul her produce towards the market.
Yup, today’s gonna be a good day.
By the time Applejack decided to go get some lunch she had sold all of the apple pastries that Granny Smith and Apple Bloom had baked the night before, and most of the apples without a hitch. A few of her friends had even stopped by to chat. Big Macintosh had showed up a few hours after Applejack arrived to help her out, and decided to stay at the stall to sell the remaining produce.
Applejack made her way towards Ponyville’s library to discuss that night’s plans with Twilight. The studious unicorn was supposed to be organizing the evening’s events, and Applejack wanted to make sure that everything was going according to plan.
As she walked through the town’s streets she began to hear a strange noise.
She lifted her head to try and see were the sound was coming from, only to be blinded by a bright white light. As she shielded her eyes in vain, something heavy fell on her and knocked her breath out.
Applejack rolled whatever it was off her and got a good look at the strange object. She had never seen anything like it. It was completely covered in ash and appeared to be twitching slightly.
Applejack cautiously brought her face forward to get a closer look. A pair of yellow eyes popped open and startled the orange earth pony.
“Gah!” she exclaimed as she reared back from the black creature. Applejack starred back at it until its eyes started looking in different directions. “Ditzy Doo, is that you? You nearly gave me a heart-attack!”
“Oh, my bad Applejack,” replied the mailmare sheepishly. “You know how lightning can be.”
Applejack helped Ditzy up, “It's okay, just surprised me is all. Don’t y’all worry about it none Miss Doo.”
“Please, call me Derpy,” replied the gray mailmare. “That’s what my friends call me.”
Applejack snickered. She couldn’t help but find the nickname a little ridiculous. “Sure thing Derpy”
“Oh, hey! I heard that tonight’s party is going to at yo-“ Before Derpy could finish, she was interrupted by an apple being violently shoved into her mouth.
“Are you crazy!?” whispered Applejack fiercely, her eyes wide with fear. “What if she heard you?”
Derpy spit the apple out of her mouth and looked at Applejack with puzzled expression. “Come on Applejack, don’t you think your acting a little paranoid?”
Applejack wasn’t listening. She kept glancing around their surroundings nervously, her eyes occasionally hovering over an overturned bucket or bush.
Derpy just shrugged and started heading on her way. “Ah well. See you Applejack, and sorry about your hat!”
Applejack instantly stopped examining a particularly suspicious bale of hay. “Mah hat?” She pulled her father’s old cowpony hat from her head, and started inspecting it for anything out of the ordinary. Sure enough, the brim was slightly torn along the front. While to the average pony this little tear would be less than noticeable, to Applejack it was as if her very soul had been ripped. This was her hat, and it was as much a part of her identity as her cutie-mark, maybe more so. Her eyes began to get moist as she stared at the damage done to her late father’s hat.
Twilight’ll have to wait.
Small beads of sweat trickled down Rarity’s forehead. Her tongue stuck out slightly in and uncharacteristically un-lady like manner but she barely noticed.
She was too preoccupied to notice.
All of her concentration was being exhausted on one task, one essential task. She was in the zone. She had to be, it was by far one of the most important and taxing things she'd ever had to do in her life. This was what all those years of training and working as a dressmaker had prepared her for. THIS. WAS. IT.
Rarity’s horn glowed as she added the finishing touches to her latest masterpiece. Careful Rarity, careful. This is the piece de résistance, and you mustn’t ruin it, she thought nervously.
Slowly, ever so slowly, she levitated a crimson ribbon and gently placed it on top of her creation. “Done,” she sighed in relief. She began to admire her latest creation. Everything was perfect; there was not an element out of place. She was hypnotized by its stunning beauty; it was unlike anything she had ever seen. Her pupils dilated as she basked in its magnificence. Its splendor would be sung of in ballads for generations to come. All would flock from far and wide to admire its mesmerizing artistry. Angels could only dream to some day match even a fraction of its grace and elegance. In short, it looked marvelous.
Indeed, it was the most marvelous looking box in all of Equestria.
A knock at her door snapped Rarity back to reality. Before answering, she levitated her masterpiece and delicately stored it in her closet. “Just a minute~” she sang and made her way towards the entrance of the boutique. She was surprised to find a distraught Applejack on the other side of her front door, and could immediately tell that something was amiss.
“Hello Applejack, what’s the matter?” she asked, somewhat worried.
“Rare, somethin’ terrible’s happened.”
“Oh no!” Rarity instantly began to think of all of the things that could fall under the category of terrible, and her mind locked on one possibility. “Darling, does she know?” Rarity emphasized the word 'she' with a glance to a nearby sponge basket.
“No, this is worse!”
“Applejack!” Rarity gasped. “Please don’t tell me that this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!”
“It is!” Applejack wailed, no longer able to contain her sorrow. “It’s… It’s…”
Rarity leaned towards Applejack, and held her breath in anticipation.
“It’s mah hat!”
“NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO… wait what?”
“Mah hat Rarity. It’s broken” explained Applejack, tears starting to run down her cheeks. “I’ve had mah hat ever since mah daddy passed away and now it’s torn.” She stared at her hooves, ashamed by what had happened. “It was the last connection I had to mah father and now it’s gone”.
Rarity was about to tell Applejack off for scaring her, but upon seeing her friend's expression decided against it. She stared at the orange earth pony and felt her heart wrench. She had no idea of the sentimental value the hat possessed for her friend, and had simply assumed it was a crude fashion statement.
Rarity gently lifted Applejack’s chin with her hoof and gave her a small smile. “All right Applejack, let me take a look”
Applejack nodded weakly and handed Rarity her most prized position. Rarity began examining the headwear, twisting and turning the cowpony hat as it levitated with the aid of her magic. It only took the dressmaker a few seconds to find the small tear in the hat’s brim. Rarity couldn’t believe her eyes; from the way Applejack was acting it was as if the darn thing had burst into flames, but this little tear was practically nothing. And I’m the drama queen? Rarity glanced back towards Applejack, who was looking at her with pleading eyes, and smiled.
“Don’t worry Applejack; I’ll be able to fix this.”
Applejack sniffed and looked uncertain. “You will?”
“Of course darling, have you ever doubted me?”
Applejack decided not to mention that time at Twilight’s slumber party and instead beamed at her friend. “Thanks Rare, you have no idea how much this means tah me.”
Rarity made her way towards her sewing machine, her flank brushing against Applejack's side as she did so.
"Now it will only take a moment to- Applejack are you alright? You seem a little flushed."
"Oh, it's cuz ah've been out in the market all day and... you know... sun and all" Applejack chuckled nervously. Rarity just shrugged, and turned back to the matter at hoof.
After a few minutes of Rarity working her magic (literally), Applejack’s hat was good as new. Rarity said as much as she handed it back to its rightful owner.
“Nice job, Rare. Now that ah think about it ah was makin’ a big deal outta nothin’” Applejack laughed as she wiped her cheeks. “So how much do ah owe you?”
Rarity looked shocked at the orange mare. “Applejack! How could you even think I would charge you for this?” she scolded. “You are one of my best friends, and there is no way I would expect money from you.”
“Are you sur-“ Applejack was cut off by Rarity, who place her hoof on the orange ponies lips to silence her.
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” she replied. “Now come, we have to prepare for tonight's events; and by the way, you really shouldn't work outside for too long dear, even with your hat. You're cheeks seem redder than before. Now we better hurry, I don't think we have much time to spare.” Applejack glanced at the clock hanging from Rarity’s wall.
Gettin’ here must have taken longer than ah thought, mused the farmer bashfully.
“Sure thang Rare. I was gonna talk to Twi 'bout borrowin’ the new Daring Doo book, but ah guess we’ll have tah meet her at mah barn tonight.” Applejack made her way out of the boutique with Rarity in tow.
“I’m sure she’s at your barn this very moment getting everything ready. Besides, Dash probably took that book from Twilight days ago.”
The two mares shared a laugh. The cyan Pegasus had practically become addicted to the popular book series, putting off everything from napping to weather management in order to sate her unending lust for Daring Do adventures. Eventually, after particularly nasty storm that went unchecked, the Mayor had to step in and tell her to get her act together.
Rarity and Applejack made their way to Sweet Apple Acres at a brisk pace, chatting about their plans for that night. Applejack had wanted to bring her stand back with them, but Rarity had insisted that she leave it at the boutique for the night. While Applejack had adamantly argued against the idea, she was secretly relieved that she wouldn’t have to drag it all the way back to the farm. Ah guess ah’m more tired than ah thought.
“Hey Applejack! Rarity!”
Both mares looked around to try and find the source of the voice. They both looked towards the sky simultaneously and, spotted a multi colored blur speeding strait towards them at a break-neck speed. Rainbow Dash, they both thought as the Pegasus slowed down and descended right in front of them.
“Where the hay have you guys been!?” yelled Rainbow Dash, visibly annoyed. “We’ve been working our butts off at your barn since lunch, and you two are here strolling! Twilight’s even been there since morning!”
Applejack narrowed her eyes and marched straight up to Rainbow Dash. “And what do you think we’ve been doin’ all day!” she snorted. “Ah’ve been workin’ all mornin’ sellin’ apples; tryin’ tah make a livin’. Not that you would know anythin’ ‘bout hard work now would you?”
Rainbow Dash glared at Applejack, ready to charge. “What’s that supposed to mean!” she snorted between gritted teeth.
Applejack pressed her face against Rainbows, all the while without breaking eye contact with the cyan pegasus. “Ah think y'all know what ah mean.”
Neither one of them said another word, simply choosing to glare at one another, pawing the ground whilst growling. Each was waiting for the other to make the first move, and it seemed that their confrontation would go on for quite some time if not for an impatient unicorn, who had gotten tired of the entire affair.
Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash yelped in surprise as they were pulled away from one another by Rarity’s magic. The unicorn glared at both mares like a mother who had just caught her children trying to steal cookies from the pantry. “I cannot believe you two” she scolded. “You’ve been together for less than ten seconds and you’re already about to start a hoof fight."
“She started it!” complained Rainbow Dash.
“Ah started! Why you-“
“I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it!” yelled the exasperated dressmaker. “Now I want you two to apologize to each other this instant.”
Both mares started to protesting before cowering under a glare from Rarity that could give Fluttershy’s infamous ‘Stare’ a run for its money.
Rainbow looked over towards Applejack and muttered a barely audible “sorry.” Applejack replied with an equally enthusiastic “me too… er… whatever.”
“There. Isn’t it wonderful when we can solve our problems like civilized ponies?” Rarity asked cheerfully only to get a couple of annoyed grunts in response. She chose to ignore these before starting to make her way towards the farm again.
Rainbow and Applejack slowly got up and sullenly followed her, occasionally glaring at each other. After a few minutes of silently marching towards Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow looked over towards Applejack as an idea suddenly popped into her head. She grinned malevolently as the cowpony continued grumbling to herself.
“Hey Applejack?”
“Yeah?”
“Raceyoutothebarn!” shouted the cyan pegasus right before blasting off towards the Apple family barn.
“Why that little…” muttered Applejack before galloping after the blue mare as fast as she could.
Rarity simply stared at the two and sighed.
They’re like children.
When Rarity finally arrived to the farm and entered the barn, her jaw hit the floor. Her eyes were the size of platters as she inspected the scene in front of her. The spacious room looked like a candy factory had just exploded in it. Red licorice hung from the roof’s beamers like edible streamers. The floor was littered with bubble-gum, caramel, gum drops, chocolate bars and other assorted treats. To her right she spotted the largest chocolate fountain she had ever seen.
From the top of the fountain flowed the darkest, purest of chocolate; the center of the fountain was spewing liquidized, white chocolate, and both came together and mixed in a pool and the bottom which was inundated with regular, melted, milk chocolate. However, it was not the chocolate fountain, but what lay next to it, that truly astounded Rarity. For next to the fountain there lay a massive king-sized bed composed of thousands of fluffy white marshmallows... which itself was lying on top of another flattened, giant marshmallow. Oh my! Rarity thought as she stared at the sea of puffy white treats, her mouth beginning to water. She would never admit this to anypony due to the amount of teasing she would receive as a result of her appearance, but Rarity loved marshmallows.
She managed to tear her eyes away from 'Marshmallow Mountain', as she decided to dub it, and turned her attention towards the center of the barn. There in the very middle of the red structure was a cupcake the size of a small cart surrounded by hundreds of other, regular sized cupcakes. The only reason that it could be considered a cupcake and not just a regular cake was because, like its smaller counterparts, it too was incased in a pink wrapper. On top of said cupcake stood a life sized statue of a pony made completely out of cotton candy.
Rarity spent two minutes gawking at the cupcake in awe before being snapped out of her shock by a sharp shriek. She made her way around the gargantuan baked good and spotted a disheveled Twilight who looked like she had long since lost her grip on her sanity. Next to her was Spike, who was cowering away from the purple unicorn in fear.
“No no no no no noooooooooo!” screeched Twilight in frustration. “The lollypops on the walls have to be pointing towards the entrance at a sixty degree angle, not a fifty degree angle!
“B-but Twilight” stuttered Spike.
“Not buts Spike, everything. Has. To. Be. Perfect!”
To emphasize this point Twilight’s eye twitched and her hair became an even greater tangled mess, something which Rarity had thought impossible.
Well, this has gone on long enough.
“Ooooh Twiiiiiliiiiight~”
Twilight turned around to face Rarity, her left eye twitching the entire time. “Listen darling, with all due respect, maybe you… should…”
Rarity trailed off as Twilight slowly made her way towards the dressmaker with a sickly grin on her face. She came within inches of Rarity’s muzzle before whispering in a deranged tone “Yeeeeessssss?”
“Uh… well… you see…” Rarity gulped, her courage completely drained by the crazy mare right in front of her. Dear Celestia, she’s completely mad!
Rarity chuckled nervously
“Well d-darling. Um… maybe you should take a teeny, tiny, miniscule… break”
Twilight’s pupils shrunk to the point where they were no longer visible. She stared at Rarity for a full minute, effectively unnerving her friend even more than she already had.
“Break?” she muttered. “BREAK!?!”
Twilight began hyperventilating as her gaze continued to pierce the unicorn in front of her.
“Are you insane?” she asked; the irony completely lost on her. “The clock is ticking Rarity and everything has to be perfect! Do you know what will happen if even one tiny little thing goes wrong?” Just as Rarity was about to answer, Twilight began ranting again. “It’ll all be ruined and I’ll have to leave Ponyville forever or face the shame! Do you want that? Huh? Do you? DO YO-“
*Clang*
Rarity was shocked to see Twilight’s eyes roll back into her head. The purple unicorn slumped and fell onto the ground with a loud *thump*. Rarity looked down at her friend and found a comically large bump protruding from the back of Twilight’s head. When she glanced up to find the source of said bump she saw Spike standing over the unconscious mare clutching a dented frying pan in one of his claws and a solemn expression on his face.
“Spike! How could you?”
“It needed to be done” replied the dragon flatly, something which Rarity was not used to due to his well-know, secret, crush on her, which usually caused him to address her in the sweetest of tones; not the somber voice he had now. Rarity glanced down at Twilight and sighed. “Is she going to be all right at least?”
“Sure, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to do that, you know? She’s just been a little stressed lately cuz we got a new shipment of books we had to catalogue. She’ll be fine.”
“Very well, what do we do with her then?”
Spike shrugged. “She should wake up in fifteen minutes, give or take. I guess we could chuck her there while we wait.” He pointed towards a pile of hay in the corner of the barn. After gently chucking Twilight, Rarity turned to Spike.
“Right, now what’s left?”
“Nothing.”
Rarity stared at Spike in confusion. “Nothing? Are you sure?”
“All that’s left is to get everypony here and wait."
“Well then what was all that fuss Twilight was making?”
Spike sighed, “Rarity, I don’t know whether you heard or not, but Twilight was freaking out over the correct angles of lollypops. Lollypops! You know, as in something nopony has, does, or will ever care about.”
“Erm… Good point.” Wait, am I forgetting something? “Spike… where’s Applejack and Rainbow Dash?”
Spike pointed to a corner of the barn were the two aforementioned mares were currently locked in a hoof wrestling contest.
“They’ve been like that for the past half hour.”
“Oookaaayyyy… then what about Fluttershy?”
“She’s with you-know-who, and she’s gonna bring her here at around six o’clock.” Spike stated matter-of-factly.
“But what abou-“
“I’m gonna get everypony in about twenty minutes.”
“Huh? Well I guess everything is ready the-“ Rarity’s eyes widened as she was suddenly struck by a sickening realization. My present! I can’t believe I forgot the present! Now it was Rarity's turn to hyperventilate. Rarity you foolish mare, how could you forget it? You’re the element of generosity for Celestia’s sake!
Spike noticed that something was wrong and began to get worried. “Uh Rarity, are you okay?”
“No Spike, I’m not all right.” she replied. “I’ve just realized that I’ve forgotten my present.”
“Oh.” said Spike, unsure with what the big deal was. “You know, I could pick it up for you while I’m getting everypo-“ Spike was unable to finish, as he was quickly scooped up in a pair of white legs and subjected to a crushing hug.
“Thankyouthankuouthankuouthankyou.” gasped Rarity. She then proceeded to give the purple dragon a long kiss on his right cheek.
“Haz uh wha ge guaaa willlll opa lve.” gibbered Spike, who shortly after stumbled out the door.
Rarity giggled as the infatuated dragon left. She another look at the barn and smiled. Tonight’s going to be marvelous.
Forty-five minutes later the barn was abuzz with hushed voices from almost a hundred ponies. Practically all of Ponyville was there, and those that couldn’t fit inside the big red structure were hiding behind it. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had long since finished their contest, with the latter perched on a cloud over the barn keeping her eyes out on the horizon. Twilight had woken up with an agonizing headache that was not helped by all of the noise, and Rarity was desperately trying to keep ponies away from Marshmallow Mountain.
How much longer? thought Twilight while she massaged her temples hoping to Celestia that it wouldn't be long. Her prayer was soon answered as Rainbow Dash flew through the barn doors and told everypony to hide.
The lights were immediately extinguished and a hush descended on the crowd. The tension in the room was so thick one could cut it with a butter knife. Eventually, two figures stepped through the entrance of the barn, their features hidden by the darkness.
“SURPRISE!!!”
Needless to say, the crowd’s roar caught both ponies by surprise. One of the two, a yellow pegasus with a pink mane, was cowering behind the other, a pink earth pony whose mane was blown back by the sheer force of the shout. Twilight stepped forward to greet the newcomers.
“Happy birthday, Pinkie!” she exclaimed excitedly. “The girls and I organized this party just for you, and look, the whole town is here.” she said, gesturing to the crowd.
Pinkie Pie just stared in shock. This had not been the first time she had been thrown a surprise party by her friends, as last year, after suffering a teeny, tiny, major nervous breakdown, her friends had organized a smaller, more personal get-together in the same barn. But this… this was spectacular! The party pony began shaking uncontrollably before shooting through the ceiling like a rocket. A few seconds later she descended and gave her closest friends a group hug.
“Girls I… I don’t know what to say” whispered the energetic mare who, for once, was at a loss for words.
“Aw, there ain’t nothin’ tah say sugercube. It was actually all Fluttershy’s idea.”
Fluttershy simply squeaked in response.
“Well what are we waiting for?" shouted Pinkie Pie. "Let’s party!”
The crowd cheered in response and, as if on cue, a white coated unicorn with purple shades began playing music. Pinkie bounced towards the dance floor, elated. She was wearing a smile that seemed to cover ninety percent of her face.
She was so happy, that she didn’t even notice her tail beginning to twitch slightly.
By ten o’clock the party was in full swing. Most ponies outside had set up a makeshift dance floor and, before long, the entire area had turned into a massive rave. DJ-Pon3, who was head banging so fast it looked like her neck was about to snap, had conjured hundreds of glow sticks and was now using her magic to create a stunning light show. Meanwhile, inside the barn things were a lot calmer. Or at least as calm as a party could be with Pinkie Pie attending; and in Ponyville, that only happened to be every party. The giant cupcake was eaten fairly quickly, but that was probably due to the fact that the party pony ate half of the entire thing by herself.
Despite having a few hundred kilograms of cupcake inside her system, Pinkie decided to organize a marshmallow eating contest which, to nopony’s surprise, she won. However, what did surprise everypony was that Rarity came in a close second. Unfortunately, she lacked the logic defying capabilities of the pink earth pony and therefore had to excuse herself to the bathroom to… cleanse her system.
Shortly after, it was time to open the gifts. Due to the number of ponies attending the party the amount of presents that Pinkie received was staggering. Some even brought two or three gifts for the pink mare, as a thank you for all the parties and presents that she had given them in the past. Despite the large number of gifts however, the whole affair went by faster than expected seeing as how Pinkie Pie had torn through the multi-colored pile of boxes like there was no tomorrow. Rarity in particular was left in a state of shock at the destruction of her gift's container; especially since she had spent over two hours wrapping it, and Pinkie had torn through it in .02385 seconds (Dash was keeping track).
However, the look of utter bliss on Pinkie Pie's face was worth the mess and chaos of her unwrapping techniques, and she had personally thanked each and every pony for their gift. She had practically squealed in joy when she put on Rarity's present. The necklace was composed of a beautiful emerald green chain that sparkled in the light every time Pinkie turned her head (which was a lot). The necklace also had a large ruby hanging from its center, which was modified with magic to mirror Pinkie's coat's pink hue. The center of the ruby was replaced by a sapphire which, again thanks to magic, was the same color as Pinkie's eyes. Everypony agreed that Rarity had outdone herself.
Other presents were not as flashy but no less special for the pink mare. Fluttershy gave her a custom built house for Gummy, with a built in pool featuring water lilies and reeds to match the alligator's natural habitat. Applejack gave her a dozen jars of Zap-Apple jam and a barrel of cider she had been saving for months. Rainbow gave Pinkie her special, 'lucky' sunglasses. Upon receiving said glasses, Pinkie disappeared and returned wearing a baseball cap (which was twisted) and a second necklace with a golden S that had two lines running through it. Pinkie then proceeded to sing the most bizarre song anypony ever heard. It was less like singing and more like creating a rhythm out of a random assortment of beats she made with her mouth. Strange music aside, when Twilight unveiled her gift she essentially managed the impossible by making Pinkie Pie (and everypony for that matter) completely, one-hundred percent speechless. The lavender mare had re-created one of Discord's chocolate-milk raining, cotton candy clouds. When Pinkie Pie was given the cloud, she once again shot up into the air and through the ceiling in excitement... and returned twenty minutes later.
Shortly thereafter, everypony dispersed and returned to enjoying the party in whatever way they deemed most pleasurable. For Applejack and Rainbow Dash this involved re-starting their previous confrontation and turning the event into a miniature Iron-Pony competition; as the two spent the rest of their time at the party participating in dozens of contests to determine once and for all which of the two was the better mare. From eating contests, to races, to improvised dance battles, the competitions got progressively more ridiculous as time went on, until Twilight was forced to finally put an end to the silly affair after Rainbow Dash suggested a diving contest in the chocolate fountain.
Having kept both of her friends from hurting themselves and making a mess, Twilight took a seat next to one of the tables in the barn. The music from outside was muffled by the barn's walls, something which she was thankful for due to the lingering headache that continued to throb inside her skull. She gently began to feel the back of her head with her hoof and, sure enough, the bump was still there; fortunately though, it was not as large as before.
“When I get back to the library I’m going to have a little talk with Spike,” grumbled the purple unicorn.
“Ahem, mind if I join you darling?”
Twilight turned around to face whoever had addressed her, although she had a pretty good idea who it was. Sure enough, Rarity was standing a few feet behind her, smiling contently but still a light shade of green from the eating contest. “Of course Rarity, you don’t even need to ask. What's up?”
“Well, after your little scene earlier I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
Twilight cringed at the mention of one of her scenes. “Yeah, sorry about that,” she muttered, a twinge of embarrassment in her voice.
“Oh please darling, it’s no big deal. We all have our… let’s say dramatic moments, shall we?”
Twilight smiled at her friend. She’s right. So what if I got a little carried away? It’s only because I want to see my friends happy. “Thanks Rarity. You have no idea how embarrassing it is.”
“Hush now, Twilight. You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Rarity stated firmly. “Now then there was something I wanted to ask you about.”
“What is it?” asked Twilight, as she took a quick sip of Berry Punch's latest concoction.
“Well, I just wanted to know if you had a special somepony for this upcoming Hearts and Hooves Day.”
To say that Twilight was surprised by Rarity’s question would be a bit of an understatement, as she then proceeded to do a spit-take all over the now soaked unicorn. After a minute of hacking and coughing, Twilight managed to breath in enough air to respond with something that somewhat resembled normal speech. “You… *cough*… me… *cough* *cough*…Hearts and Hooves Day!?!”
Rarity, who was trying desperately to fix her mane, which had been disheveled by the spit take, had understood what Twilight was trying to say and blushed furiously; so much so that she began to resemble Big Macintosh to some degree. “What!?! No! That’s not what I… what I mean is do you have somepony you might be interested in?”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Oh thank Celestia. I…I mean not that I w-wouldn’t mind if yo-” she was interrupted by a white hoof being shoved into her mouth.
“It’s quite alright darling… just don’t mention it again...ever.”
Twilight nodded. “Well, I don’t really have anypony in mind. I mean, I really don’t think about those kinds of things to begin with. What about you?”
Rarity started blushing even more. “W-well, one c-could say that I-I have my eye on somepony.”
“Really!?” cried out a voice from behind the unicorns. “Who!?!”
Rarity jumped in surprise. She whipped her head around and saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash behind her. The former had a worried, almost crestfallen, expression whilst the latter was wearing a large, evil grin.
How long have they been standing there? thought Rarity nervously.
“Soooo Rarity. Who’s the lucky stallion?” asked Rainbow Dash with false innocence.
“I-I…” Rarity trailed off, her mind blank due to the sheer embarrassment of the situation. She hadn't planned on telling anypony but Twilight, but now the proverbial cat was threatening to escape the proverbial bag.
Rainbow ignored her friend’s nervous stuttering and continued questioning the white unicorn. “Ooooh, I bet it’s that Fancy Pants guy isn’t it? He sure was a hunk!”
Rarity mouth had begun opening and closing without emitting any sound. “Or maybe it’s Big Mac! Now, he’s hot!” stated the cyan pegasus with a somewhat dreamy look in her eyes, completely oblivious to Rarity’s behavior.
“’Scuse me, that’s mah bother yer talkin’ about!” exclaimed Applejack indignantly.
“Oh, come on Applejack, you know it’s true.”
Applejack replied by gagging and turning a shade of green. Later that night, she would be haunted by horrifying nightmares involving her and her brother that no amounts of alcohol or therapy would help erase from her memory. Meanwhile, Twilight was starting to get a little worried about Rarity. When I get back to the library I’m going to reread a few of those medical books I have. I don’t think Rarity’s supposed to have enough blood for that kind of blush.
After managing to hold in the contents stomach, Applejack decided to save her friend from further embarrassment. “Come on girls, let’s leave Rarity alone. She obviously doesn’t wanna talk ‘bout her... crush.” The cowpony muttered the last word with some difficulty.
“Rarity has a crush?” asked Fluttershy from behind Twilight; they had barely heard the quiet pegasus and were surprised that she had been listening. This, however, was the last straw for Rarity.
“YES FLUTTERSHY I DO, AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T GO ANNOUNCING IT TO THE ENTIRE TOWN!!!”
Everypony in the barn stopped what they were doing to gape the alabaster unicorn. All of Rarity’s friends were taken aback by her outburst, and stared at her in shock. All except Fluttershy, who was shaking uncontrollably and cowering from the white mare. Rarity, realizing what she had done, began apologizing profusely to the yellow pegasus.
“Oh Fluttershy I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. Can you ever forgive me?”
“It’s okay Rarity” muttered Fluttershy in response.
“Yay, group hug!”
“Pinkie where did you-” Twilight was cut off as she and her four friends were pulled into a bone-crushing hug by the party pony.
“Now that Rarity’s not a Meanie McGrumpy Pants about her special somepony anymore, let’s go dance!”
“Does everypony know about my cru-?” Rarity was interrupted by Pinkie dragging all of them outside towards the dance floor. They soon found themselves in the middle of the massive crowd of dancing ponies, their senses being assaulted by the blaring music, bright lights, and the smell of sweat permeating from the crowd.
After wiggling her way out of Pinkie’s iron grip, Rainbow Dash shrugged and flew up to dance with some of the other pegasai. Rarity began to spin and twirl around the dance floor gracefully. Despite being accustom to more sophisticated forms of music and dance, she managed to keep up with the beat of the electronic beats quite well. Applejack stomped around the dance floor, lacking in all the finesse that seemed to radiate off of Rarity. Twilight once again proved just how much of a shut in she was by dancing the most adorkable dance anypony had ever seen. Pinkie simply bounced around Fluttershy, who was standing ramrod stiff in fear, not familiar with that kind of environment.
After half an hour of nonstop dancing, Twilight stumbled towards Pinkie Pie, who was still bouncing happily despite having sung three musical numbers since they had all started. “Wow… Pinkie… you sure… have… a lot of… energy” wheezed Twilight.
Pinkie giggled at the exhausted unicorn. “Yup, can’t say the same about you though.”
“Yeah, I… Pinkie your tail is twitching!” yelled Twilight in alarm. She immediately covered her head with her legs in anticipation for any potted plants, anvils, carts of hay, or pianos.
“Oh yeah, that’s been doing that all night, I kinda stopped worrying about it a while ago.”
“Really!?!” Twilight was ecstatic at the possibility of finally having proof that Pinkie’s ‘Pinkie Sense’ was bogus.
“Yuppers. When I finally noticed, at first I was like ‘oh no something’s gonna fall’ but after a while I was all ‘hmmm m-m-m-a-b-y n-n-n-o-th-th-ing w-w-w-i-l-l-l h-h-h-a-p-p-p-e-n.”
“Uh… Pinkie?” Twilight slowly backed away from Pinkie, whose tail was twitching so violently that her entire body had started shaking.
“O-o-o-h n-n-n-n-o-o i-i-t-t-t’s a d-d-d-d-d-d-o-o-o z-z-z-y-y!”
All the other ponies on the dance floor noticed something was amiss and began backing away from the shaking earth pony, who was now shivering so violently that she was nothing more than a pink blur. Some of the dancers voiced their concern, confused more than anything else at the pink pony's random behavior and oblivious to its implications.
Something’s wrong, thought Twilight. I’ve never seen a doosie like this before.
Pinkie Pie’s body started convulsing and morphing into strange shapes, her neck twisted and her body inflated like a balloon. The air started to feel odd to Twilight. All the hairs on her back rose, and she could feel goose bumps all over her body. She couldn’t describe the odd sensation. The atmosphere around her began to feel distorted… electric. As if she was receiving a constant flow of static directly to her body.
Time seemed to slow down for a few seconds and the air started to bend, as if there was an intense heat in the air. Everypony had begun outright panicking at that point. Suddenly, a bright light appeared in the air a few feet away from Pinkie. The light expanded and turned into a large sphere that continued to grow. Lightning began to shoot out of the orb; one bolt struck the sound system resulting in a small explosion. The screams of terrified ponies couldn’t be heard over a loud hum that was being emitted from the large ball of light. There was a mass panic and the crowd of ponies rushed into the already over-crowed barn. A few of the dancers were lightly trampled but they picked themselves up and entered the barn, uninjured.
Soon the only ones still outside were Twilight and her five friends. They all shielded their eyes from the growing orb, and managed to avoid being blinded by the bright light. Twilight could see Applejack yell something to Rarity, but the white unicorn gave no indication of having heard. Fluttershy was shivering and appeared to be sobbing, while Rainbow Dash was doing her best to calm her distraught friend. Pinkie Pie continued to shake uncontrollably, completely oblivious to all the chaos occurring around her.
Finally, as quickly as it had arrived, the giant sphere of light shrunk and disappeared. Everypony looked up to the spot where the bright light had appeared, and breathed a sigh of relief. However, just as everypony was ready to come out again, the sphere reappeared in the exact same place, only this time it was even larger and instead of being a bright white light it was completely black. Twilight had never seen anything so dark before in her life and instead of the hum it had previously emitted, there was utter silence. It was as if the orb was sucking all the sound out of the area. The quiet was suffocating. Twilight couldn't help but briefly wonder whether this was what being in vacuum felt like.
The large sphere just floated there for a few minutes, no longer expanding. Twilight cautiously approached it, her heart beating furiously in her chest. She continued to advance slowly until she stood right under the strange object; her fear slowly gave way to curiosity. She was unsure of what to do. This was an entirely new scenario for her. It wasn't every day that a bright sphere of light appeared in the sky without warning. She was briefly tempted to reach out to it with her magic but before Twilight could conjure a spell, a large object fell out of the dark orb and landed right in front of her. Twilight reared back in surprise after the object hit the ground with a loud *thud* and quickly looked up to the dark orb just in time to see it close and disappear.
Twilight looked down at the thing that fell from the sphere. It’s huge!, was the unicorn’s first thought before she mentally face-hoofed. Duh, real astute observation there Twilight, but what is it? That question rapidly became one of thousands as Twilight's analytic mind began pondering the event. She cautiously circled the strange object, trying to deduce what it could be and why it was here. Twilight reached out tentatively and lightly touched it. Hmmm, it seems to be some kind of machine. She suddenly remembered that she had more pressing matters to attend to. Twilight turned back towards the barn and saw ponies starting to trickle out of the structure, each one of them asking questions about what had happened.
“Is it safe?”
“What was that thing?”
“Where did it go?”
“What happened to the music?”
“Hey dude, do you think I can fit my entire hoof in my mouth?”
Admittedly, some questions were more intelligent than others. “It’s okay everypony, whatever that was it’s gone now,” assured Twilight in a very business-like tone. “Because of the damage to the sound system and this recent commotion I think It would be best if everypony just went home and…” Twilight trailed of when she saw the looks on everypony’s faces. She had never seen anypony so scared in her life. Even Rainbow Dash, who prided herself on her courage, had a look of pure terror etched on her face; but worst of all, they were ignoring her! They were all staring at something behind her.
Well that’s just rude, thought Twilight indignantly. She was about scold them for being so impolite, when she was stopped by a loud groan coming from behind her. She turned around and what she saw surprised her. It shocked her. It scared the living daylights out of her! The creature…machine…thing was a whopping seven feet tall! It was entirely made of metal save for a small area near the top that was composed of some sort of orange glass. It was mostly gray and brown except for some brief flashes of orange and yellow on it here and there. The thing seemed to sway back and forth for a few seconds before groaning again and falling forward.
Twilight managed to jump out of the way before the thing crushed her. Nopony moved a muscle; they just stared at the object without uttering a sound. The silence was eventually shattered by a loud yell coming from inside the barn.
“TWWWIIIILLLLIIIGGGHHHTTT!!!”
Everypony turned around and saw Spike rushing across the debris filled dance floor towards the aforementioned unicorn.
“Spi-?” Twilight was tackled by the purple dragon, who seemed to have forgotten that he was wearing a lamp shade on his head. Is he…crying?
“Did it hurt you?” sniffed Spike, his eyes red from tears that were flowing out of worry for Twilight’s safety.
“No Spike, I’m fine.”
After confirming that Twilight was indeed ‘fine,’ Spike jumped off of her, wiped his face, and tried to save face from the emotional outburst he had. “Oh yeah cuz… you know… I was worried that I would have to clean up the library by myself tonight.”
Twilight smiled knowingly at Spike, who was examining his tail like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Sure Spike, whatever you say.”
“Twilight, Spike!”
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all rushed towards their two friends to make sure everything was alright. When they got to the duo, they all paused to stare at the large mass that had almost crushed their friend.
“What is it?” asked Fluttershy in awe.
“Looks like uh Minotaur made uh metal,” observed Applejack as she cautiously poked the metal beast. “Minus the horns uh course.”
“It looks more like some sort of machine,” stated Rarity as she examined the so-called ‘machine’. “Ugh, it’s absolutely hideous!”
“Whatever it is we should move it before somepony gets hurt,” said Twilight, already taking charge of the situation.
Pinkie shot her leg into the air like a foal that was eager to answer a question in school. “Ooh, ooooh pick me pick me!”
Twilight sighed; she was not in the mood for Pinkie’s randomness, as this whole situation had caused her previously subsided headache to resurface. “Yes Pinkie?” she asked, clearly lacking any enthusiasm whatsoever.
“I say we take it to the library.”
“The library? Why?”
“Duh, because the author says so,” answered the pink pony while she winked towards the sky; thus completing the mandatory breaking of the fourth-wall, which was essential for every respectable fan-fiction.
Nopony said anything for a full minute while they stared at their giggling friend, who was waving at the sky.
“Pinkie you are so random,” deadpanned Rainbow, finally breaking the silence. She then turned to address Twilight, “but she does have a point.”
“What!?! I agree that we can't leave it here but why do I have to keep the potentially dangerous…thing in my house? Why can’t any of you guys keep it?”
“Well it can’t stay at my place unless it’s charmed to rest on clouds.”
“Ah don’t want that thing anywhere near mah little sister, plus the barn's uh mess.”
“The animals around my cottage might to get hurt.”
“Look at it, it’s positively filthy! I am not letting it anywhere near my home thank you very much. Besides you know how curious Sweetie Belle can be.”
“Ugh fine.” Twilight then turned her attention to all the guests, who were still keeping their distance from the strange object. “Alright everypony calm down, everything’s okay. I’m afraid the party’s over however, so you should all just go home.”
“Awww come on we were just getting started! I mean nopony’s even hammered yet! Are we really gonna let a couple of explosions, some weird portal thing, and a giant monster ruin this epic party?”
“Sorry Vinyl but I think it would be best if we all went home.”
Vinyl mumbled a reluctant ‘fine’ before salvaging what was left of her equipment and heading home, followed by the rest of the guests. Before long the only ones left were Spike and the girls.
“Alright Spike hop on, I’m going to teleport us and this thing back to the library, you girls should stay to clean up.”
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay, sugercube?”
“Don’t worry Applejack, as soon as I get home I’m locking this thing in the basement and writing a letter to Celestia.”
“’Kay Twi. And if this thing gives you any trouble, call me and I’ll turn it into a pile of scrap in ten seconds flat.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary Rainbow. Well, goodbye everypony. I’ll see you guys tomorrow and hopefully this’ll all be cleared up by then.” In a bright flash of light, Twilight, Spike, and the foreign object were all teleported back to the library.
Celestia, that thing was heavy! Twilight climbed up the stairs from her basement and, after locking the door, collapsed on the floor of her home.
After arriving at the library Twilight had spent over three hours searching for any information in her books about the strange object that had fallen out of the portal. Finally, at the insistence of Spike, who was nervous about the metal ‘monster’, Twilight decided to carry it into the basement. She was surprised at how much the thing weighed. She knew it was going to be heavy but she was not expecting she was going to have to exert herself so much just to levitate the darn thing for a few measly minutes.
Worst of all, the machine didn’t even fit through the doorway no matter how she twisted and turned it. Surprise quickly turned to frustration, which in turn became exhaustion as she was required to use a large amount of energy to carry the thing. Finally, after ten minutes of trying to shove it through the door, Spike suggested that she simply teleport it down there instead. Twilight then used what little energy she had left to face-hoof and do exactly that.
“Spike… take a… take a letter” panted the purple unicorn.
“Okay Twilight, but catch your breath first.”
“Okay, okay, I think I’m good. Now, listen carefully…”
Dear Princess Celestia,
I apologize for writing at such a late hour, but I’m afraid this is a matter of utmost importance. Earlier this evening, while attending a birthday party my friends and I had organized for my good friend Pinkie Pie, I witnessed a strange phenomenon.
“Pheno… Phenami…”
“P, H, E, N, O, M, E, N, O, N”
“Thanks.”
You see, during this party a bright white light flashed out of thin air. This light seemed to be a result of a large, mysterious, glowing sphere which was composed of some foreign energy. As far as I can tell, it was definitively not any sort of magic; or at least none that I’m familiar with. This sphere began shooting lightening and emitting a loud hum. After some time, it seemed to collapse in on itself and was soon replaced by and even larger orb, except this one was dark and wasn’t generating any sound. I believe it was a portal because, before disappearing, a strange object fell out. I think this object is a machine of some kind but I am not sure, as it appeared to be standing for a few seconds before collapsing. Thankfully nopony was hurt and I am now keeping the object in the library; however I am unsure of what to do and would appreciate your advice.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
After proof reading his handiwork Spike sent the letter on its way with a burst of green flame. “Now what, Twi?”
“Now I think we should go to bed.” To emphasize this point Twilight let out a loud yawn before struggling onto her hooves and making her way up the stairs to her room.
Spike shrugged and followed Twilight upstairs. Works for me.
Meanwhile, down in the basement, among the primitive computers and electronics that populated the dusty storage room, a creature that was not of Equestria was stirring. The metal beast’s eyes fluttered open and briefly took in the scene in front of him before groaning and passing out once more.
It was early morning in Ponyville. The sun was just beginning to poke out over the horizon as its light cast the sky in a shade of orange and soft pink. The normally white clouds were painted in this hue, creating the illusion that they were made out of cotton candy. In reality, only one of these clouds was composed of the sugary substance. Yellow light slowly, almost reluctantly flowed into the homes of Ponyville; gently illuminating the various furniture, portraits, and décor that were found inside the town’s numerous structures. One such building was the village’s signature library.
Light found its way into the building’s foyer and enveloped the vast shelves of books in a fiery tint. Near the library’s entrance was an old, small door. The knob that was once gold was now almost entirely composed of brown rust, revealing its caretaker’s neglect to maintain it. The wood meanwhile, was dry and crumbling. Its white paint, which had clashed with the rest of the library’s style, had chipped away long ago. Behind this door was a staircase that led down into a basement which had long since fallen into disuse; save for a brief instance the night before. The room was completely dark, or at least it would have been if not for a particularly stubborn beam of light that squeezed through a small crack found in the decrepit door. Unfortunately, this beam failed to illuminate anything more than small particles of dust that danced in its light.
One such speck floated and twirled in the glow for a few moments with abandon, before gently sinking down and resting itself on a strange metal object. This foreign machine lay motionless in the dank confines of the basement, covered in a newly applied coating of dust and grime. Under this metal prison lay a creature of flesh and blood. Jorge, as the beast was formally named, unconsciously tilted his head to the left, effectively sending small tufts of dust back into the air. Slowly, his eyes opened and for a brief moment the world was still. The dust froze in place, the beam of light crept no further, and Jorge ceased to breath.
Then, with a violent gasp, his body shuddered and time renewed its normal pace. For a short few seconds the Spartan was assaulted by a sensory overload. He was completely aware of everything in his surroundings, no matter how insignificant. The musty and humid smell of the grubby books that lined the walls attacked his nostrils with fierce intensity, causing him to gag. Despite the darkness he could see everything around him with perfect clarity; the books, machines, and primitive electronics all carpeted with a thick layer of dust that seemed to occupy more space than oxygen. Jorge could hear the chirping of distant, recently awoken birds through the basement’s thick walls, and his breathing became a cacophony of noise that assailed his hurting ears. He discerned an intense metallic taste of blood in his now dry mouth.
Then, it seemed as though Jorge’s senses shorted out. For no sooner had his mind begun processing all this new information that his feelings all dulled. His vision became blurry and clouded, to the point where he could no longer see farther than a few feet in front of him. His sense of smell disappeared and was replaced with the wafting odor of ozone. His ears rang with a shrill, painful pitch, as though his eardrums had burst. The feeling in his body was gone, save for an ache that was quickly spreading to all his muscles.
It was an ungodly sort of pain, yet it was different from the suffering he had endured on the supercarrier. That had been a sharp, burning sensation, whereas this was a more a tired soreness. The kind one gets after exerting oneself too much, only this went beyond what any other human would normally be able to endure. All that remained, apart from the pain, was the bitter taste of blood in his mouth. He was practically blind. Worst of all, exhaustion soon washed over his body with a vengeance, and he found himself unable to move. Jorge was barely aware of what was happening. His mind was sluggish, and all is thoughts where fragmented and lacked cohesion.
Tired. So tired. Was this death? A dream? No, this hurt too much to be either. He had to move, he had to get up. Was he paralyzed? No, his toes twitched, for whatever that was worth. Get up. He was alive. How had he survived? Inconsequential. He was still breathing and that meant he could still fight. Get up. Move! Where was he? Was he captured? He remembered something. Something about where he was. Computers. There were old machines all around him. Old, but human, not Covenant. Was this a hospital? No, too much dust. Not sterile enough. The Spartan tried to get up, but blacked out for a few seconds from the exhaustion, before quickly regaining consciousness.
Pain. So much pain. God, why did it have to hurt? He needed to get up. Get up. He couldn’t stay still. Covenant. Reach. Every second he laid there more people died. Move. Tired, too tired. He couldn’t give up. He couldn’t. What was happening? He just needed to get up. Get up. Get up.
GET UP!!!
Jorge lurched forward and, miraculously, managed to shakily stand up. However, he was not expecting his reflexes to be so quick, and the sudden movement surprised him; so much so that he almost doubled over. It seemed as though his mind was trying desperately to catch up with his rapid muscle movement. It was similar to after he had gone through the augmentation process. But while there it was due to the superconducting fibrification of his neural dendrites (which had increased his reflexes by three-hundred percent), here it was because his fatigue was slowing his thinking. Still, somehow he managed to, incredibly, regain his footing and keep from falling over. It was a true testament to the Spartan’s strength and tenacity. Any other human would have been killed by the shock of having their atoms torn apart and put back together, piece by piece. Even a Spartan-lll would have most likely died from exhaustion, but not Jorge. He was, against all odds, somehow moving. Still, everyone has their limits and the aging soldier was rapidly approaching his. Every second was a battle to remain conscious, and it was a battle he would soon lose.
He didn’t care. He needed get moving. Fight. Keep fighting. Always fighting. Never stop fighting. The Covenant was a plague, and it was still infecting Reach. His planet. Move. He needed to get out of the room. Tired. He couldn’t stop. He had already hesitated once before and he would not do it again. So tired. Just rest. No. he would get back to Noble team even if it killed him. He had already ‘died’ once before, what did it matter if he was killed again? No. That was a lie. Spartans never die. He needed to move.
Slowly, his leg lifted up from the ground and he took a step. Then another, and another. Step by step, he gradually made his way towards the stairs, which he could barely see due to his distorted vision. His muscles screamed in protest, begging for respite, which he refused to give them. He was a Spartan. He had to sacrifice everything; it was his duty. His old family, his real childhood, his life; it was all trivial compared to the big picture. Compared to the war. Sacrifice. That was what defined a Spartan. Without that what did he have? He was nothing. He almost didn’t push the button. A moment of weakness. Of shame. It would not happen again.
And so he marched on, ceaselessly, against the current of soreness and fatigue that seemed determined to keep him down. He soon arrived to the bottom of the stairs. Sluggishly, he lifted his leg and began making his way up the flimsy wooden structure. With each step he took the stairs creaked loudly, as if they were shrieking in agony. Jorge found himself in front of a small door without warning, unable to remember the last few seconds of him climbing the staircase. Still, he was there, and that was all that was important. Sadly, the doorway was too small for the large soldier to fit through. This somehow managed to register to the Spartan. In an act of desperation, he used most of what little energy he had left to weakly charge at the door.
It was enough to shatter it (and most of the surrounding wall) into a shower of debris. Jorge stumbled forward and fell onto his knees. The room he was now in appeared to be some sort of archive. There were shelves upon shelves of thousands of books lining the walls all around him. Speaking of walls, they were all smoothed out and rose to meet each other in a curve, as if the room was carved out of a single block of wood. The ceiling was oddly low for a human structure, and Jorge could have easily touched it by stretching his arm up had he had the energy and the inclination to do so.
Jorge didn’t notice these things however. He was too distracted by his lungs, which burnt like hot coal every time he inhaled. His breathing was becoming more and more erratic. His sight faded even further. Darkness was creeping into the corners of his vision. A throbbing pain was assaulting his skull, and radiating down his neck and spine. It wouldn’t be long now. His body was rapidly approaching the bounds of its capabilities, and some part of Jorge’s mind knew this, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him at that moment was getting up. He knew that if he didn’t rise soon he would collapse. The Spartan was able to lift himself and trudge towards a nearby doorway; which he assumed was an exit, judging its position relative to the rest of the room.
If Jorge had been in a clearer state of mind he may have noticed a few oddities in the hall he was in. The roof was lower than normal, yes, but there were other, subtler details that suggested an environment that was altogether strange and unfamiliar. Such as the books that lined the walls. All of the authors of these literary pieces appeared to be named after verbs, adverbs, nouns, adjectives, and other pre-existing diction that wouldn’t normally be reserved for names. The content of the tomes themselves featured strange fields, foreign history, and a subject discussed in a scientific context that was previously thought to be fictional. The photos that hung from the walls were also quite queer in that they featured no discernible human, and, instead, were populated by brightly colored, never before seen creatures.
But Jorge was far too preoccupied trying to keep himself from passing out to focus on the room he was in, and so these peculiarities went unnoticed. When he was a few feet away from the front entrance, which was again too small for him to pass through, he employed the same technique of escape he had previously used on the basement’s entrance. Squeezing out the last ounces of energy that remained, Jorge charged at the wooden obstacle obstructing his path and tore through it and the adjacent wall. To the wall’s credit, there are few things that can stop the Spartan once he gained enough momentum.
He was instantly blinded by painful sunlight, which stung his unadjusted eyes. His body sagged and his muscles refused to acknowledge the signals his brain was sending them. Done. That last sprint had drained his remaining strength, and he was still not fully recovered from the trauma he endured on the supercarrier. If he pushed himself any more he might cause irreparable damage to his body. Jorge didn’t care though. He just wanted to keep moving. Keep fighting. But, ultimately, it was not up to him. So there he stood, futilely staving off unconsciousness for just a little longer. After a few seconds his vision got used to the light, and he was confronted with one of the most unexpected sights he had ever seen.
Covenant.
They were everywhere, and they were all staring at him with wide eyes. In fact, they seemed more surprised than him. Jorge couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The Spartan reasoned that this was some sort of delirium caused by exhaustion. He slowly lifted his arms, placed his quivering hands on his head, and lifted his helmet off. Sure enough, the aliens were still there, looking at him. He had never seen this kind of Covenant before. They were horse-like in appearance, except their heads were rounder, their eyes freakishly large, and they were all brightly colored; painfully so. They also had human like facial expressions, which he found extremely uncanny. Jorge could see that he was in some sort of town, but the houses resembled human architecture, which made this situation all the more vexing.
The creatures were now whispering amongst themselves and slowly backing away from the intimidating beast in front of them. Jorge was too far away to hear what they were saying, and even if he wasn’t, he was too tired to properly discern any noise. Besides, he doubted he would be able to interpret them anyways. The Spartan could feel his eyelids begin to fall. Any second now. He shakily reached down to his right thigh and was relieved to find that he still had his pistol. If he was going down, he was going to take as many Covenant as he could down with him. Jorge weakly griped the handgun and prepared to start killing as many of the aliens as he could. He clicked the safety off…
“Uh… h-hello?”
Jorge froze. He feebly turned around and thanked whatever deity was looking over him that he managed to find another human. What he saw however, was far from what he was expecting. Behind him, standing right in front of the recently destroyed doorway, was one of the alien creatures. It was lavender, with a purple mane, and had a horn similar in color to its coat, protruding from its forehead. Jorge tried to bring his pistol to bear but found that he was physically incapable of doing so. He dismissed what he had heard as a hallucination caused by his fatigue, seeing as there was absolutely no way that Covenant could have just addressed him in fluent English. But just as the Spartan finished this thought, the purple alien decided to do just that.
“Um… e-excuse me f-for b-b-b-b-bothering you… but… w-what are you?”
Jorge didn’t have time to register what he had just heard, for no sooner had the purple horse-like creature spoken that was overcome with a sensation of weightlessness. His sight was replaced by darkness, and he felt like he was floating. His body was shutting down. Before passing out from exhaustion, the Spartan managed to grunt out a barely audible sentence.
“Bloody… purple...”
Spike had been sleeping peacefully that night. After earlier events, he had decided that he needed a well-deserved good night’s rest. Rays of light were beginning to stream through the balcony window as the sun slowly poked over the horizon. Meanwhile, the purple dragon was snoring quietly, with a content smile on his face. Every snore was punctuated by a slight twitch of his leg and drool was starting to pool in the corner of his mouth.
He was having his favorite dream again; the one where he builds a house entirely out of ice cream for him and Rarity to spend the rest of their lives together in. Spike was holding Rarity’s hoof in front of the doorway of their new dream house. Both were staring into each other’s eyes in silence. There was nothing that needed to be said. Rarity closed her eyes and slowly began leaning forward. Spike did the same; he puckered his lips and prepared himself for what was to be the greatest moment of his short life.
Their mouths were mere millimeters from each other when Spike started to feel nauseous. His eyes shot open as a horrifying realization hit him. Not now! Oh Luna, please just a few more seconds!!!
All his praying was for naught however, as seconds later Spike woke up and proceeded to belch out a burst of green flame and, along with it, a scroll bearing the royal seal. He rubbed his eyes and glared at the scroll. That’s the eighth time I’ve woken up right before the best part! thought the purple dragon grumpily.
Spike mumbled something incomprehensible as he stood up to stretch and crack his back. Yawning, he picked up the scroll and made his way towards Twilight’s bed. The purple unicorn was breathing deeply, with a large grin plastered on her face. Spike had never seen her like this while she was sleeping. Generally, when he found Twilight asleep it was because she had passed out from a particularly arduous night of studying; and in these cases she simply slept with her mouth handing open, her tongue lolling out, drooling everywhere. Here she looked so serene, so peaceful.
Twilight snorted lazily, rolled over slightly, and began mumbling in her sleep.“Ooooh yeeess Trixie. Right there…”
Spike decided that, for the sake of his sanity, he would ignore what his foster sister had just said. Well I didn’t want to do thi- oh who am I kidding? I love doing this. An evil grin spread across the young dragons face while he cleared his throat and moved his mouth next to Twilight’s ear. He paused to savor the moment of silence, licked his teeth in anticipation, and took a deep breath.
As expected, Twilight jumped a few feet in the air shrieking. What the young dragon wasn’t expecting however was to be flung across the room by Twilight’s magic. After slamming into the bookshelf next to the staircase, Spike was covered in an avalanche composed of Twilight’s most private book collection. As the purple unicorn attempted to get her heart rate under control, she looked for her mysterious assailant. Her ears perked up as she heard light shuffling near the newly piled mound of reading material.
Spike, meanwhile, groaned loudly as he clawed his way out of the mountain of literature. When he finally popped his head out of the large pile of books he came face to face… to face to face with three blurry Twilights staring and him, and they did not look happy.
“Spike! What the hay was that for!?!” yelled Twilight furiously, looking like she was about to burst into flames from pure rage.
Spike winced, unaccustomed to the purple unicorn using such foul language. After shaking his head a few times, he managed to clear his vision and began to calmly answer his older sibling. “Calm down Twilight. The princess just sent a letter so I thought you’d want to see it ASAP.”
All of Twilight’s anger seemed to melt off at the mention of a letter from her mentor, and was instead replaced with an expression of minor annoyance. “Fine, but couldn’t you have woken me up more gently?”
“Come on Twi, when you’re asleep you’re practically a log. I’m even surprised that I managed to wake you up with that scream. Geez, sometimes you’re worse than Rainbow.”
Twilight shot the dragon a brief ‘death-glare’ before hanging her head. “I was having the nicest dream…” she sighed in bittersweet melancholy.
“Yeah? Well join the club,” grumbled Spike. “So are you gonna read the letter or what?”
Having forgotten about the Princess’ letter due to all the mornings excitement, Twilight gave a small, sleepy smile and levitated the rolled up parchment. She must be replying from the letter I sent her last night, thought Twilight eagerly. She brought the scroll up to her eyes and began reading out loud.
Dear Twilight,
Unfortunately, I cannot think of any explanation regarding the strange occurrences that you described. I wish I could go to Ponyville and assist you in your investigation of the phenomenon but I have official business to tend to in Baltimare. However, I will be sending my sister in my stead to examine this strange machine that you mentioned. She should arrive in Ponyville in a few hours, and I ask that you please make her feel welcome as she is somewhat apprehensive about returning; despite the success of last year’s Nightmare Night. I must also stress that it is an informal visit and that if you could keep things discreet it would be appreciated. I once again apologize that I cannot be of more assistance but I wish you the best of luck.
Your mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia.
“The Princess is coming?” asked Spike, obviously puzzled. “Come on; is that thing down there really such a big deal?”
“Of course it’s a big deal Spike,” replied the lavender unicorn. “It’s a giant machine that fell out of a portal that shot out lightning and destroyed the party last night. We have no idea what this thing is. For all we know it could be dangerous. I think that warrants a visit from the Princess.”
Spike shrugged. “I still don’t see what the big deal is.”
“You didn’t think that when you were hugging me last night,” teased Twilight.
At the mention of last night’s emotional outburst, Spike began examining his tail fiercely. His feet shuffled from side to side and there was a light blush appearing on his cheeks. “Well… you know it’s cuz… like I said I didn’t want to clean up the library by myself.”
Twilight giggle and nuzzled her little brother affectionately. “Well don’t worry Spike, now I can help you clean up after the Princess leaves. Now let’s get some breakfast, we should tell the girls that Princess Luna is coming and I don’t want to ha- did you hear that?“
“Hear what?”
“I thought I heard something downst-"
*CRASH*
Both Twilight and Spike jumped in surprise. Twilight instinctively grabbed Spike and held him protectively. Neither of them moved a muscle as they stood there, holding their breaths, waiting for something to happen. The tension in the air was palpable. The silence dragged on for what felt like hours but was really a few seconds. Finally, upon being sure that it was relatively safe, Twilight let go of Spike.
“Spike, stay here I’m going to find out what that was,” she whispered to the young dragon.
“But Twilight it could be dangerous! Please don’t go,” Spike pleaded.
Twilight could see genuine fear and concern in Spike’s eyes and was touched. She gave her little brother a small smile.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine I promise”
Before Spike could protest further, Twilight was making her way down the stairs. Her horn was glowing, ready to fire off a defensive spell at whatever was down there. She cautiously climbed down the staircase, pausing every step or two to listen for anything out of the ordinary. Despite her assurances to the contrary, Twilight was absolutely terrified.
Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! What was that? What could possibly make such a loud noise? Could it be that machine? I never should have brought that thing to the library! I hope none of the books are damaged. What if I get hurt? What if I… no! Bad Twilight! You need to calm down, everything will be just fine.
Twilight took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. It was then that she realized that she had been shaking slightly, so she took an extra second to compose herself. She was going to be of no use to anypony in a panicked state. When she finally arrived to the ground floor Twilight was stunned by what she saw.
The library was a disaster. Splintered wood littered the floor, and a dozen books had fallen out of their shelves as a result of the crash’s shock-wave. There was a massive hole in the wall where the entrance to the basement should have been, and the door itself was nowhere to be seen. Among all this debris, there stood what Twilight was hoping she wouldn't see: the alien machine. She inhaled sharply when she spotted it. She recalled it being large, but having it standing in the middle of her library reminded her of how big it really was.
Twilight started hyperventilating and resumed trembling in fear. The contraption on front of her was so imposing, so intimidating, that its mere presence left the lavender unicorn shaking like a leaf. The machine either didn’t notice Twilight or didn't care that she was there, because it made no move to acknowledge the unicorn’s presence; instead it began charging towards the library's entrance. Twilight’s eyes widened as she covered her ears just before the metal beast burst through the front door, taking most of the wall with him.
This, of course, did not help calm Twilight’s already frayed nerves. She had little time to lament the loss of her front door, as the machine was now outside and probably going on a rampage in Ponyville. Twilight galloped through the ruble filled library and out the front… hole. She skidded to a halt to avoid hitting the metal monster which had, surprisingly, stopped. The lavender unicorn stared at the machine/monster. She quickly realized that she was a little too close for comfort, and tried to back up discreetly.
Twilight nearly had a heart attack when the machine started moving again. It rotated the large cylinders that hung from the side of its main body. They lifted and rested themselves on the top of its central apparatus for a brief second, before pulling off a part of the mechanism. What Twilight saw caused her to gasp quietly.
Under said mechanism was a head. It was a strange head but it was a head nonetheless. Unfortunately for Twilight, she could not get a good look at the bizarre head from her angle, but she did notice what she assumed were kidney shaped ears poking out of its sides. She waited for the creature to make to make a move, but several seconds passed and nothing happened. As far as she could tell it was just standing there, staring at something in front of it.
Twilight discreetly peeked around the frozen body in front of her. The town was as peaceful as ever, and the purple mare even saw a few of her friends. Lyra and Bon-Bon were together as always. Ditzy ‘Derpy’ Doo was hovering next to her daughter Dinky, and Vinyl Scratch was levitating a shopping bag full of records next to her. Apart from them there were a few other ponies that Twilight didn’t recognize, all going about their daily lives. Or at least they would have been if they weren’t all staring at the strange creature in front of them. All the ponies wore awed expressions as they looked at the foreign being before them; with the exception of Lyra, who was looking at the beast with a huge, psychotic smile.
Why isn't it doing anything? Twilight asked herself.
The creature continued to stand frozen, with no indication that it was alive save for its slow breathing. Twilight felt helpless, she had no idea what to do. One thing was for sure though; she couldn't just keep standing there gawking at the creature in front of her. Ponies were starting to get nervous, and she had taken it upon herself the night before to keep the creature so it was her responsibility. Clearing her throat, she took a nervous step forward.
“Uh… h-hello?” The greeting came out much weaker than she had wanted but it had its intended effect. The creature slowly spun around to face her. Its movements appeared weak and uncoordinated, which confused the purple unicorn. She was now able to get a look at the beast's features. The creature did not appear to have a coat of any kind, save for a small patch on what appeared to be its face. Its mane was shaved and practically non-existent. It had various scars on its face, the largest of which ran down from its forehead to his cheek. Its muzzle was extremely flat, to the point where it was eerie, and its snout reminded Twilight of a bird’s beak, only much shorter and less pointy. What stood out the most however was the unfocused look that the creature had. Its brown eyes looked… tired. Despite this, it was still pretty imposing. Twilight’s heart was beating so fast she was afraid it would burst out of her chest.
“Um… e-excuse me f-for b-b-b-b-bothering you… but… w-what are you?”
There was a moment of silence, in which Twilight and the beast stared at each other without saying anything. Then, it opened its mouth slightly and began mumbling.
“Bloody… purple…”
Before Twilight could interpret the meaning of the creature’s reply, its knees buckled causing it to fall onto the ground face first.
Twilight’s mind was reeling. It talked! It talked it talked it talked! Granted I don’t know what the hay ‘bloody purple’ is supposed to mean, but who cares!? It spoke perfect Equestrian! Wait what am I doing? This thing destroyed the library, it’s obviously dangerous. I better keep an eye on it bef-
“Twilight, are you okay?”
Twilight turned around and saw Spike looking at her fearfully, keeping his distance from the monster in front of her.
“Yes Spike I’m fine, and don’t worry it’s perfectly safe.” I think…
Spike tentatively approached the beast. He lifted his arm and extended his claw. As soon as he poked the creature he shielded his face, expecting the monster to jump up and attack him. When he saw that he was not being mauled by the metal monster he proceeded to repeat the action again.
“Spike, stop that,” the unicorn scolded. “And don’t worry, I think it’s unconscious.”
“What do you mean you think!?”
Twilight ignored Spike and continued to examine the creature before her. The other ponies had long since left, and were choosing to hide in their homes and avoid the library by any means necessary. All except Lyra, who continued to stare at the town’s new arrival with glazed eyes and an impossibly large smile.
“Applejack was right, it does look like a metal minotaur without horns,” observed Twilight. “Come to think of it, looks kind of familiar…”
“Yeah, about that; what’s up with all the metal?” asked Spike as he continued to poke the creature, despite Twilight’s previous reproach.
“Hmmmmm… maybe it’s some sort of armor?”
“Weirdest armor I’ve ever seen,” snorted the dragon. “So what should we do with this thing?”
Twilight looked back at her destroyed library. “We can’t keep it here anymore, I’m afraid it’ll damage the books.”
“Yeah, heaven forbid the books get hurt,” muttered Spike.
“What was that?”
“N-nothing!” Eager to change the subject, Spike began thinking of a place they could keep the creature. “How about Applejack’s barn?”
“Didn’t we bring it from the barn last night?”
“Yes, but that was cuz there wasn’t any space there last night because of the party. Remember?”
“Oh, right.” It’s too early for this, thought Twilight, who had yet to shake the morning's cobwebs from her mind. “What about Applejack? I don’t think she’ll be enthusiastic about keeping this thing in her barn.” Twilight took another glance at her home and sighed. “But I guess for now we don’t have many options. Spike, go get Applejack and the rest of the girls, I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on this thing.”
Spike saluted and waddled towards Sweet Apple Acres as fast as he could, leaving a cloud of dust as he ran. Twilight watched Spike leave her view. As soon she could no longer see the young dragon, she glanced down and inspected her hooves.
What’s wrong with purple?
“No.”
“But-”
“No way.”
“But Applejack-”
“No! There ain’t no way ah’m keepin’ this thing in my barn and that’s final.”
Getting Applejack and the others to come to the library was easy. Convincing her to let them keep the strange being in her barn? Not so much.
“But Applejack where else are we supposed to keep it?” asked Twilight.
“Ah don’t know and ah don’t care. Ah’m sorry if ah’m bein’ harsh Twi, but look at what that thing did to the library.”
The library had not left a good impression on the girls. When they arrived to the destroyed tree Rarity almost fainted, while Fluttershy jumped into a nearby bush to hide from the ‘monster’. Applejack immediately rushed to Twilight to make sure she was okay and to ask what had happened. After Twilight explained that the metal creature had been the cause of all the destruction Rainbow Dash, who was now lazily prodding the beasts face, insisted that they let her ‘teach it a lesson’.
“I suppose it could stay at my boutique but…”
“That’s very kind of you Rarity, but we all know it probably wouldn’t fit in your boutique. Now Applejack’s barn on the other hoof…”
Now it was the cowpony’s turn to get frustrated. “Ah don’t know if yah forgot this Twilight, but ah got a family to worry ‘bout. Granny Smith might have a heart-attack if she sees this thing and ah don’t want Apple Bloom anywhere near it.”
“I understand your concerns Applejack, but we only have to keep in there until Luna comes. Then she’ll take it back to Canterlot. Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase.” Twilight begged.
Applejack’s expression softened. She could see how stressed this whole situation was making Twilight and she hated not being able to help her friends. It is just for a couple hours...
“Ah don’t know…“
“Oh come on Applejack!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “Everything’ll be fine. If this thing tries anything funny I’ll put it in its place.”
Despite Rainbow Dash not instilling much confidence in the orange cowpony, Applejack finally conceded.
“Fine, but only for a couple hours!”
“You got it Applejack” said Twilight, who had become noticeably more chipper.
“Yay! Now we can finish the party from last night and the monster can be the guest of honor this time. Oooooh it’ll be a ‘Welcome to Ponyville please don’t eat us Mr. Monster’ party!”
“Uh darling, I don’t think that’ll be a wise idea.”
Upon hearing that she wouldn’t be able to throw her ‘Welcome to Ponyville please don’t eat us Mr. Monster’ party, Pinkie Pie’s previously curly hair straightened out and hung limply from the side of her head. Tears began to well up in her eyes and her lip trembled slightly. This scene broke Rarity’s heart, and she immediately started trying to rectify the situation.
“I-I mean not until it wakes up of course,” the dressmaker said giving Pinkie a forced smile. “Then of course you can throw your please don’t eat us… party… thing.”
Pinkie Pie cheered up considerably. Her hair inflated instantly, regaining its poofy style, and her mouth broke into a massive smile.
“Okie Dokey Lokie.”
“Alright,” stated Twilight, trying to regain control of the situation. “I’m going to teleport us to Applejack's barn. The sooner we hide this thing there the sooner the rest of the town will stop freaking out.” She scanned the houses that surrounded her library. Their blinds were shut, their doors were locked, and their residents were scared silly. “Okay, now everypony get close to the metal creature and I’ll start up the spell.”
Everypony did as they were told, save for one pony.
“Fluttershy, everypony includes you,” Twilight said to the shivering bush a few meters away from them. The only response she got was a frightened *squeak.*
The lavender unicorn sighed. “Rainbow?”
“On it”
Rainbow flew down and pushed the shrub towards the monster, eliciting a loud ‘eep’ from Fluttershy. Once everypony, and Spike, were next to her, Twilight’s horn started glowing. One flash of light later and they were gone.
It had taken less than ten minutes for Twilight and her friends to get the creature locked in the barn. The structure had been surprisingly devoid of any of the decorations that populated it the night before, and Twilight was impressed by how neatly the barn was left. Other than the lingering remains of ‘Marshmallow Mountain’, there was no evidence of the party that had taken place the night before. As the girls exited the barn, Twilight put some of her most powerful barriers of the building’s front doors and was confident that if the beast woke up it wouldn’t be getting out. She then sent a letter telling the Princess to meet them at Applejack’s barn, seeing how the orange mare didn’t want to leave the creature by itself.
“Alright, now that that’s taken care of all we have to do is wait for the Princess,” explained Twilight.
“Hey Twi, what is that thing anyways?” asked Rainbow Dash while she played (and lost at) Tick Tack Toe with Pinkie.
“I already told you Rainbow, I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure I’ve seen something like it before.”
“Well it’s positively horrid. The sooner it leaves the better” said Rarity.
“I don’t think it’s that bad.”
“Uh Twi, ah don’t know if yah noticed but that thing destroyed yer library this mornin’.”
“I know Applejack, but I kind of feel bad for it.”
“Bad for it!” cried out Rainbow crossly. “That thing almost crushed you last night!”
“Think about it. If you woke up in a strange house that you’ve never seen before don’t you think you might be just a little confused… maybe even scared?”
“I just think that as soon as we get that thing back to the Everfree forest or where ever it came from, the better” answered Rarity. “And Fluttershy can have a new animal to take care of.”
Twilight stared at the white unicorn, who was styling her mane, in confusion. “Rarity I don’t know if you realized this but… that thing is sentient.”
Rarity did not realize this. In fact none of the girls did, which is why they all gaped at Twilight when she told them. All except for Pinkie, who continued to play Tick Tack Toe by herself and, for some reason, was losing.
“Wait, you guys didn’t know that? Heck, even I knew that!” said Spike.
“How can yah tell?” asked Applejack. She found it hard to believe that anything sentient would cause that much destruction for no good reason. Even dragons rarely attacked ponies unless they were provoked.
“Didn’t you notice the armor it was wearing?” questioned Twilight. “I mean it covered like ninety percent of its body.”
“Armor? Ah thought that was its skin or somethin’.”
“What about that helmet you put on it when we left it in the barn?”
“Well… ya know… turtles can take their shells off right…?” mumbled Applejack, who was blushing and feeling quite foolish.
Twilight once again facehoofed. “Well it did talk to me.”
“It talked!?!” shouted Fluttershy in surprise. She winced at her violent outburst, which Twilight had barely heard. “Um, what did it say?”
“It said, and I quote: ‘bloody purple’”
“Bloody? What’s that mean?” inquired Applejack.
“Ahem, if I may? Bloody is a colloquial term from Trottingham and Canterlot. It is used express annoyance, anger, or frustration. It can also be used as an insult or to emphasize something,” explained Rarity. “It is… well it… um let’s just say it isn’t used in high society.”
“Soooo… it means buck?”
Rarity cringed at Applejack’s harsh language. “Essentially; although it is a little more vulgar than that.”
“Oh, so it means fu-“
“Rainbow Dash!” shrieked Rarity.
“What? I’m just asking.”
“Rainbow ah would appreciate it if yah didn’t use that kind of language near mah sister… or at mah farm for that matter.”
“Oh, you’re one to talk. You curse more than me!” accused Rainbow.
“Why yah no good little bit-”
“Girls!” shouted Twilight, trying to reestablish order. “We have to wait here for the next few hours so can we please do it without arguing?”
Everyone mumbled their consent. Applejack and Rainbow Dash however, continued to glare at each other despite Twilight’s pleas.
It’s going to be a long couple hours, thought Twilight miserably.
Much to Twilight’s surprise, time flew for the six ponies and dragon while they waited for the Princess. Applejack and Rainbow Dash quickly settled their arguments amicably. Pinkie Pie beat everyone at Tick Tack Toe a few hundred times… each. Applejack went home and brought back a picnic basket full of apple pastries and the group had brunch while Rainbow Dash entertained them with some new tricks she had been practicing.
It was about noon when Twilight spotted the silhouette of the Princess over the horizon. The group bowed respectfully as Luna landed in front of the barn. She showed tremendous poise as her hooves touched down softly on the ground below. Her long, ethereal mane flowed in an invisible breeze as she walked over towards the group in front of her.
“Rise, my little ponies,” she said, addressing the group in front of her. “There is no need for such formalities.”
“It’s great to see you Princess,” stated Twilight happily.
“The feeling is mutual Twilight Sparkle; and please, I would appreciate it if you all simply called me Luna.”
“Okay Princ… I mean… Luna. By the way, I noticed that your speech has improved.”
The Princess of the night sighed, but gave a small smile. “Yes, it has been very arduous but, as you can see, the lessons I’ve been taking have provided great results. But we can discuss this once we’ve dealt with this machine you mentioned. Where is it?”
Twilight smiled sheepishly. “It’s in the barn. But before we go, I think you should know that I may have forgotten to mention something in that second letter I sent you.”
Luna’s eyebrow rose.
“Well… you see… it’s not a machine. It’s a… well I don’t know what it is. But what I do know is that it’s a sentient being,” Twilight chuckled nervously.
Luna stared at Twilight, un-amused. The lavender mare began to feel uncomfortable under the Princess’ gaze. After a few moments of awkward silence Luna spoke.
“That changes things…”
“What do we do?” asked Spike.
“First things first, show me this creature.”
“Right this way Luna.”
Applejack led the group to the barn and unlocked the door. Everyone gasped when they stepped inside. There was a massive hole where the barn’s back wall used to be and debris littered the floor. It was like the library all over again. But what caught everyone’s attention was the creature or, more specifically, the lack thereof.
It was nowhere to be seen. ________________________________________________________________________________
I would like to thank my pre-readers Varocity and BassTheBrony for doing an amazing job editing this chapter.
It was another peaceful afternoon in Ponyville. The sun was shining and evaporating what remained of that morning’s dew. Birds were singing to one another from across treetops. Children were laughing and frolicking merrily around the town. The cloud of smoke over the Everfree forest persisted and now the light smoky scent was slightly more pungent, but this in no way lessened the beauty the surrounding country side. All in all, it was truly a paradise. A perfect example of how pleasant a more pastoral setting could be.
However, anypony traveling near the vicinity of a certain well known apple farm may be surprised to find that life was not as soothing as it may seem. Strange, because one would consider a farm to be the highest attainable level of peace and tranquility possible; but, for some reason, this farm was not following the lead of the surrounding landscape in that it was not being serene.
For you see, on this particular farm there was currently a particular purple unicorn who was particularly upset. Why does this affect the farm’s placidity levels? Well, this unicorn was currently inventing new and innovative swears to express her frustrations, and the nature of these swears where so vulgar that they would make the toughest, most battle-hardened royal guard blush. For, unfortunately, this unicorn forgot that the monster she was supposed to be taking care of had the ability to break through wooden walls like they were made of tissue-paper. Thus, she had placed a barrier spell on the entrance of the barn but not on the barn itself.
This realization not only caused this unicorn to utter these new swears, but to roar them at a volume that made the Royal Canterlot Voice pale in comparison; resulting in her companions hugging each other, cowering in fear from their upset friend, and praying that her spontaneous combustion wouldn’t burn the barn down (somewhat ironic given that one of the companions could be considered a deity herself). Said unicorn’s number one assistant also made a mental note to ask her what a few of the words she was bellowing meant in the near future… if he managed to survived her fury, obviously.
Once Twilight had finished her rant and lay panting on the floor of the barn the others cautiously approached her. After they determined that she was going to be okay, Luna cleared her throat to speak.
“Well Twilight that was a… interesting way to express your opinion, and it certainly was creative. Although you may have gotten a little overzealous around the end there, particularly the bit about my sister’s horn being ‘shoved’ into a certain part of your anatomy.”
Twilight was too tired to say anything so she opted to simply blush in embarrassment.
“But, disturbing mental images aside, we still have a very big problem.”
“How are going to find that awful brute?” asked Rarity.
“Uh Rarity, that thing isn’t exactly gonna be too hard to track down,” replied Rainbow Dash as she pointed to a set of large tracks that the creature had left.
Luna inspected the hole in the barn’s wall and the debris surrounding it. It was clear from the way the ruble was strewn about that the beast had used brute force to make his escape, which left a single question unanswered. How the buck didn’t the girls hear that?
“Twilight, you mentioned in your rant that you placed various kinds of barriers on the barn’s entrance yes? Perhaps they muffled the noise of the crash?” Unlikely though. Most kinds of force fields don’t impede noise from traveling through them. The Princess continued pondering the subject for a few moments before sighing and turning to address the girls.
“Very well, you will all stay here while I track the beast before it does any more harm.” She spread her wings and prepared to take flight, when an orange hoof stopped her.
“Oh no you don’t! Sorry yer highness but there ain’t no way we’re lettin’ you go on yer own,” asserted Applejack. “We’re all goin’ with you.”
Luna glared at the orange pony who had dared to defy her order. Applejack would have been lying if she said she didn’t feel a little nervous under the Princess’ reproachful glare.
“Applejack” muttered Luna through gritted teeth, furious that anypony would have the audacity to give her a command. “I don’t know if you have noticed this, but I am more than capable of handling myself thank you very much.”
“Ah know that princess, but in case you didn’t notice, this thing destroyed mah barn and mah friend’s home. Ah ain’t gonna let it get away with that.”
Luna was taken aback by the bitterness in Applejack’s tone. She hadn’t been expecting the cowpony to be so vengeful, but then again the creature did damage her property and threaten her friend.
“’sides, we’d find it quicker if we went as a group,” Applejack argued. “We could cover more ground.”
She does have a point.
Luna looked at the six mares in the barn. Their eyes all had a glint of determination in them. It reminded the Princess of when they had faced Queen Chrysalis and her swarm. Well, they are the bearers of the element of harmony. They stopped Discord and… her…
The princess of the night sighed again and addressed the group in front of her. “Are you all sure you wish to join me?”
They all affirmed this with a nod; all except Pinkie, who chose to bounce happily instead.
“Very well, but Spike must stay. He is too young to come with us on such a perilous task.”
One would think that Spike would begin protesting Luna’s decision, insisting that he was old enough, that they wouldn’t be safe without him, that they never included him in any of their activities, etc. However, in this case Spike was relieved that Luna had decided to force him to stay behind. It gave him an excuse to avoid the monster without looking scared in front of Twilight because, in all honesty, the metal creature terrified him; not as much as say an Ursa Minor, but still enough that he wanted nothing to do with it.
Despite his fear, Spike felt guilty for not going with Twilight and was concerned about her safety, and standing in front of the massive hole that the creature made in the barn’s wall was not helping to put his worries at ease.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay Twi?”
Twilight slowly picked herself up from the ground and smiled warmly at the young dragon. “I’ll be fine Spike. As long as I’m with Luna I’ll be safe.”
Pinkie Pie jumped behind Spike and, to his annoyance, started patting his head. “Don’t you worry you’re pretty little head about Twilight, Spike. Your auntie Pinkie Pie will make sure nothing bad happens to her.”
Deciding that it was time to get moving before the creature managed to get too far, Luna began making her way out of the barn through the newly made entrance, followed by the impromptu search party. “Are you all ready?”
The group nodded simultaneously.
The Princess flared her wings and prepared to take off. “Very well, let us go.”
“Alright everypony, let’s nab us uh monster!” whooped Applejack.
The girls cheered, and galloped/flew/bounced behind Luna as she followed the monster’s tracks out of the barn and towards the Everfree forest.
A francba!
Jorge leapt to his right just as a large jaw slammed into the dirt where he had been standing seconds ago. As he hit the ground, Jorge used his momentum to quickly roll back onto his feet. Despite the size of his suit, when adrenaline was pumping through his body the Spartan could be surprisingly nimble. He whipped around to face the now dazed hydra that had attacked him.
“Is that all you got you oversized lizard?”
The hydra, which was not too fond of Jorge’s taunting, roared and reared its four heads back in preparation to strike. The Spartan however, was having none of that. He whipped his pistol out of its holster and, in the blink of an eye, placed a bullet through each one of the hydra’s four heads. Its tough scales were no match for the pistol’s semi-armor piercing, high explosive rounds.
The hydra seemed to stand still for a few seconds, as if the bullets had no effect on it. The only indication the soldier had that his bullets had pierced the reptile’s skin were four clouds of red mist that briefly flashed around each of its heads. Just as Jorge was about to fire another round the beast crumpled into a heap of lifeless flesh. Jorge, misjudging the size of the creature from his distance, narrowly missed being crushed by the falling corpse. He cautiously approached his fallen opponent to confirm that it had been killed. He inspecting each one of the hydra’s heads and was satisfied to find a bullet wound spewing blood and gray matter out of each one. The soldier had managed to place all of the rounds between each of the hydra’s pair of eyes, save for the last head, where the bullet had imploded its right eye. Sloppy, thought Jorge as he looked at the wound. As he turned around to leave the bog that he stumbled into, the Spartan began mentally berating himself.
Dammit! I haven’t been awake for a whole hour and already I’ve gotten lost in a forest and attacked by some giant mythological monster that came out of bloody nowhere! Jorge alleviated some of his frustrations by punching a nearby boulder, which cracked in half against the force of the blow.
Jorge had awoken in the barn a few hours after being left there by the alien creatures, or at least the Spartan assumed they had brought him there. He had woken up groggy and still sore, but it was nowhere near as bad as the deplorable condition his body had been in not hours ago. The first thing he was able to distinguish in his new surroundings was the smell of hay which hung in the air. It was surprisingly comforting, in that it reminded him of the farms on Reach. The thought of his home spread a warm feeling in his chest that quickly traveled across his body, and a ghost of a smile cracked his stoic façade for but a brief moment.
Unfortunately, that warm sensation soon grew cold as ice as the realization of his planet’s current situation hit him. He frowned, and his face contorted into a dark scowl. Jorge stood up and lightly shook off a few stray straws of hay that found their way onto his armor. That was when he realized that he was wearing his helmet. This confused him more than he already was, seeing as how he was fairly certain that he had taken it off prior to passing out. The only way he would be able to get it back on is if the aliens had put it on for him. His frown deepened further at this thought. Covenant had gotten their filthy claws on his armor, or at least he thought they were Covenant. One of them had spoken to him, and it wasn’t the crude, heavily accented English that Sangheili sometimes spat. This had been a clear, articulate sentence, despite the creature’s stuttering.
Jorge looked around the warehouse he was in. There was a platform in the back area of the room that appeared to be constructed out of flimsy wooden planks, and was lead up there via an even flimsier looking wooden ladder. The bottom floor was made out of similar looking planks but these were older and slightly rotten, a sharp contrast from the red walls that surrounded him, which almost appeared new if the fresh looking coat of paint was any indication. The floor was covered with dry grass, the residuals of the bales of hay which were found in the corners of the structure. Primitive farming equipment populated the storage building. Rusted plows and harrows were piled a few feet from him, and various barrels, scythes, hammers, screwdrivers and other tools where placed neatly along the walls of the room.
Out of instinct the first thing Jorge did after taking in his environment was to examine his current armament. He wasn’t surprised to find that his signature chain-gun was nowhere to be seen, but that still did not make it any less disappointing. What he did have was alarmingly meager. He still had his pistol, the ever trusty M6G PDWS, along with four magazines of ammunition. Other than that all that remained were two M9 frag grenades, one plasma grenade which he had taken from a dead Sangheili, and his combat knife. Needless to say, his arsenal was far from stellar.
Jorge was interrupted from his inspection by voices coming from right outside the barn door. He approached the entrance and, sure enough, seven dots where visible on his motion sensor. The Spartan tried to open the barn door just a crack but was surprised to find that he couldn’t move it. He tried pushing harder but the wood would not budge. Jorge could have charged at the door, but instead he opted to peek through a large crack in the wall nearby. What he saw left him completely speechless.
There, a few feet from the entrance of the building, were the horse-like creatures from earlier, but this didn’t surprise Jorge. Unless he had been dreaming or hallucinating then it was likely that they would have brought him there. What did surprise the large Spartan was what the creatures were doing. They were…having a picnic. A real honest to god picnic: basket, quilt, sandwiches, the whole shebang. And they were laughing. It sounded almost, no, exactly like a human laugh. Hell, if the aliens were to be replaced by humans it would look like a picture taken out of children’s book. There were six of them, including the purple one he had encountered earlier, plus what appeared to be a small lizard. Jorge noticed that while some of the horses (as he now opted to call them) had horns protruding from their foreheads, there were a couple that didn’t. A couple even looked like they each had a pair of wings, although the Spartan was too far away to be certain. They were all just sitting there talking. While Jorge was too far to hear exactly what they were saying he was able to make up a word or two and, much to his surprise, he realized that they were speaking English. Jorge had thought that he imagined the purple one speaking to him earlier, but now there was no denying it. Not only did these creatures speak perfect English but it appeared to be their native tongue.
Jorge could almost hear his mind snap. This went against everything that he knew about Covenant. Even him being alive would be considered odd as the aliens weren’t known for taking prisoners, but watching a group of Covenant having a picnic while addressing each other in English was simply unprecedented. Were they even Covenant? Why else would they be on Reach? His mind was running at a million miles a minute. Jorge had no clue what to do, he had never before faced this kind of scenario. He could attack them and then what? If they were Covenant then there was no way he would be able to fight through an entire town full of them with the measly weaponry he had. But… they were speaking English!!! How could they be Covenant? Besides, he had no idea what these creatures were capable of; and what if they weren’t in fact Covenant? Was that even possible?
There were too many variables to take into account, and he didn’t know enough about his current situation to make an informed decision. He was not the kind of soldier to ‘shoot first and ask questions later,’ he was a Spartan. Trained his entire life to analyze any situation and come up with the most optimal solution possible, and so Jorge resigned himself to avoid confronting the creatures and to make it back to Noble team at all costs, with the hope that all his questions would be answered in time. He turned around and headed towards the back wall of the barn. Using the one strategy that had yet to fail him, the Spartan charged at the wall and burst through it as if it wasn’t even there. How the aliens didn’t hear him he’ll never know, but at that moment it didn’t matter. He sprinted as fast as he could into a nearby forest in the hopes that he could gain some distance between himself and the foreign creatures.
And now, after hours of blindly marching through said forest, there he stood; examining the corpse of a mythological creature that he had just slain. As silly as he felt calling the monster a ‘hydra’ the beast looked remarkably similar to ancient Greek depictions of the creatures. Jorge sighed and began making his way out of the swamp. He had been wandering through the forest trying to reestablish contact with friendly forces, but that hope had died along with the beast. There’s no way I’m on Reach. Last he checked there weren’t hydra’s on Reach, or any terrestrial creatures of that size for that matter. Various theories as to where he could be entered his mind. Did the Covenant really capture me? Maybe they took me to one of their planets? He doubted that. If that were true then they never would have left him unguarded or with his armor on. Is this another human colony? That too was unlikely. If he was captured by insurrectionists then, again, he wouldn’t have been left in a warehouse on his own; and if he was found by UNSC forces then they would have taken him to some sort of hospital or command center. Hell, maybe the slipsace drive teleported me to another world entirely.
Jorge almost laughed at the absurdity of that last theory. I could be dead. Or maybe the aliens never talked and I’m just going crazy. He continued contemplating his location for a little longer before quickly pushed those thoughts out of his head and doing the only thing he could think of. He kept moving. The Spartan continued marching through the bog with his pistol out in case another ‘fictional’ creature decided to attack him. The mud was now waste high and trudging through the swamp was becoming increasingly difficult, but Jorge showed no signs of slowing down.
Having just learned how dangerous this forest could be, Jorge decided that he needed to find shelter before nightfall. Once he had some sort base he would… he would… he didn’t know what he would do. He was in an unknown territory with no squad mates, no contact with any sort of command or any humans for that matter, and to top it all off he was tramping through a forest full of strange, and in some cases hostile, flora and fauna, surrounded by a never before discovered species of sentient beings.
Jorge had never felt more alone in his life. He had always had other Spartans to count on whenever he went on missions. Spartans rarely ever went on lone wolf style operations and instead opted to go in small teams. This became even truer once he had joined Noble Team, as Spartan-III’s were trained specifically to fight in groups. In the few cases that Jorge did go on a mission on his own he at least had radio contact with command. But here? Here he was completely cut off from anyone, and the fact that a small part of him was convinced that he was going insane only served to increase the oppressive feelings of isolation he was suffering.
Once Jorge had made his way out of the swamp and onto dry land, he looked back at the dead hydra to make sure it stayed dead. He had no idea what that thing was capable of so it was best to stay cautious. For all he knew the creature could just be playing dead, although the bullet holes in its heads helped calm these concerns.
That thing is huge! He thought, now able to get a look at the beast from a better vantage point. Not as big as a Scarab but still, it’s a massive creature.
After taking one last look his kill, Jorge turned around and continued traveling through the thick forest. Vines and branches, that would normally hinder most other creatures, were swept away by the Spartan with ease. He had trained in these kinds of environments his whole life and as a result he was able to cover a lot of ground in a short time.
He continued to mindlessly march through the thick vegetation for a few hours, passing by some truly fantastic plants on his way. Flowers of every shape and color resided here and they truly were a sight to behold. A species of yellow, bell-shaped flower seemed to be the most common plant that Jorge had seen. They hung upside down from tree branches so that their petals pointed to the floor, but what made these flowers particularly interesting was that they didn't seem to grow on any specific kind of tree; they just sprouted anywhere not unlike a fungus.
There were also some plants that followed him as if they could sense his presence. One of the damn things had actually tried to bite him. It was dark crimson, like blood, and had a set of jagged, cruel looking yellow teeth that, despite being razor sharp, failed to pierce his armor. Another kind of flower, similar in appearance to the carnivorous plant only black instead of red, appeared to have green eyes and a malevolent smirk that gave Jorge the feeling that the forest itself was going to try to kill him. What unnerved him the most about this flower was that, unlike its red cousin, this plant had holes all over its surface like a sponge, and whenever a breeze rolled by and entered said holes it would create a sharp whistle that sounded like the shrieks of a madman. Jorge destroyed this plant whenever he could.
But by far the strangest plant Jorge saw was a flower (or at least he thought it was a flower) that was incased in a bubble. It wasn't really a bubble; it was actually a very thin layer of membrane that gave it the appearance of one. However, one would be forgiven for confusing it for a bubble seeing as how they floated over the forest floor, casually drifting in any direction. Inside the membrane sphere was a small, electric blue colored flower. Its long stem was extremely thin, and curled around itself within its orb casing, making it look like a green web. The plant also had some sort of natural lighting which caused it to glow in the shade, creating a jaw dropping-ly beautiful scene whenever Jorge entered a darker part of the forest.
These were Jorge’s favorite plant by far. He took a pause from his walking to reach out and grab one the bubbles. Jorge gently held it in his cupped hands and stared at the mesmerizing shade of blue. He continued to stare at it for a few more minutes before lifting his arm and delicately pushing the flower upward. It continued to float towards the sky for a few seconds before slowing down and coming to a halt mid-air.
Hydra attacks and macabre plants aside, this place is actually pretty pleasant. Most of the animals I've come across have been harmless enou-
Jorge’s thoughts where cut off by the sound of a twig snapping a few meter from where he was standing. All his years of training kicked in in a heartbeat as he quickly whipped his pistol out of its holster and crouched in a defensive position, aiming the gun in the direction of the noise.
It’s probably just a squirrel again.
A quick check of his motion sensor disproved that theory as it was displaying a white dot, indicating that there was something of substantial size in front of him. Jorge silently approached the source of the noise, his gun at the ready. As he moved forward so did the dot on his motion sensor. Step by step, he gradually got closer to whatever was being displayed on the sensor. When he was finally in front of the white dot, Jorge smoothly pushed the canopy aside and came face to face with what had caused the racket. He could not believe his eyes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
The group of ponies had been following the creatures tracks for over an hour by the time they arrived to Froggy Bottom Bog. The bog was by far one of the most unpleasant areas of the forest, and that day it was as stagnant as ever. Bubbles slowly rose to the surface of the brown-green muck and ugly, black, twisted trees populated the surrounding shore, giving the swamp a sinister appearance. Mosquitos, dragon-flies, and other pests buzzed above the surface of the water, which was permeating the foul stench of rotting vegetation. Understandably Rarity refused to take a single step into the putrid liquid. Fortunately, this problem was quickly solved when Rainbow Dash begrudgingly agreed to carry the white unicorn on her back while the others, minus Luna and Fluttershy, traveled through the mud by hoof.
The fliers stayed closed the three mares on the ground, who were getting more and more irritated by the minute. The sludge was making walking a chore and a rather difficult one at that. Even Pinkie, who would normally be doing some sort of physics defying stunt, was getting annoyed by the mud that was impeding their progress.
“Could you three hurry up please? shouted Rarity down at the group on the ground. “You’re taking an awfully long time and at this rate we’ll never catch the monster.”
If looks could kill then Rarity would be the first mare in the history of Equestria to be caught in the epicenter of a thermonuclear blast from the glares the three Earth-bound mares were giving her.
“Er…um… or you could… you know… take your time” she muttered weakly.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the group made it to an area of dry land in the middle of the bog and decided to take a break. Rainbow in particular needed to rest from carrying Rarity and said as much.
“Are you calling me fat!?!” screeched the dressmaker.
“What? No!”
“Well, you just said you needed to rest from carrying me, so you’re clearly implying that I’m heavy.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Excuse me for being tired from carrying your big butt for the past twenty-five minutes.” Realizing what she had just said, the cyan pegasus winced. Poor choice of words there Rainbow.
She looked over at Rarity and slowly backed away. The white unicorn was fuming, literally. Smoke was actually coming out of her nostrils as she snorted in anger. Her face was beet red and the veins on her neck were alarmingly visible. It actually reminded Rainbow a little of Horse Power whenever he got pumped up. She would have chuckled at the memory of the excited pegasus bellowing ‘YEEEAH’ if it wasn't for Rarity approaching her with a look of pure rage.
Rarity opened her mouth and took a deep breath, ready to give Rainbow Dash a piece of her mind, when suddenly both mares heard somepony shriek in fear.
“Fluttershy” they both said in unison. Forgetting their confrontation, Rainbow Dash and Rarity both galloped/flew in the direction of the scream. When they joined their friends they saw the whole group, including Fluttershy, staring at a large mound of dirt in both horror and awe.
“Hey, what are you… you…”
Rainbow Dash trailed off when she got a closer look at the small hill in front of her. It wasn’t a hill at all, but was actually the corpse of a full grown hydra. The group of ponies stared wide-eyed at the tremendous beast. They had never seen a hydra this close before except for Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, who were almost eaten by one about a year ago. The memory of that terrifying event only served to make this situation all the more jarring.
Luna was the first to approach the corpse, momentarily distracted from her current quest by the unusual sight in front of her. What could have done this? It does not appear to be wounded and it certainly isn’t old enough to have died naturally. She continued to circling the dead hydra until she arrived to its first head.
“Girls come quickly; I found the cause of the hydra’s death.”
The six bearers of the elements of harmony made their way to where Luna was standing. Unfortunately, they were not prepared for the copious amounts of blood oozing out of the hydra’s head and suffered somewhat violent reactions to the gore.
Rarity’s face turned green and she began dry heaving. It took all of her willpower to keep from ejecting the contents of her stomach. Pinkie Pie’s hair straightened out for a second time that day, while her coat became a noticeably darker shade of pink; almost as if shadow had been cast over her. Fluttershy had the most extreme reaction of the group. All the color drained from her face and she just stood, staring at the creature without moving a muscle. It was as if her mind was unable to process the scene in front of her. After a few moments she broke down and started weeping silently. The others simply chose to cringe in revulsion.
Luna you fool. Of course their going to react like this, they’re not used to these kinds of things.
As Luna chastised herself she took another look at the hydra’s wound. Her stomach churned uncomfortably and she began to feel a little nauseous. Maybe I’m not so used to it myself.
After a few minutes the group managed to regain their composure, all except Fluttershy who continued to cry while Rarity and Pinkie Pie tried their best to comfort her. Due to her work taking care of animals, Fluttershy was used to death and had long since accepted it as something natural. But seeing a living creature die so… violently was too much for the yellow pegasus to handle.
Luna continued to examine the hydra, making sure to check its three other heads before joining the others.
“It is as I thought; the beast has a similar wound in each of its heads,” Luna explained.
“W-what could have done something l-like this?” asked Twilight, who was still a little shaky from the sight of the behemoth’s wounds. “Do you think the monster we’re chasing is responsible?”
“I do not know Twilight Sparkle. I have never encountered a wound like this before so I cannot tell what could have caused it.”
“Ah’m bettin' it did do it”
“For now it is the most likely explanation. However, until I catch it we won’t be able to find out for certain.”
“Um Princess, don’t you mean until we catch it?” inquired Rainbow Dash.
“Nay, I want you all to return to Ponyville. Whatever may have done this,” she waved her hoof towards the dead hydra, “might still be in the area and if the metal beast is to blame then that is all the more reason why you should return.”
The group began loudly echoing their disapproval. Luna tried to get them to quiet down but it was no use; they were adamant about continuing the search with her, especially Applejack. Finally, Luna lost her patience with the six mares.
“SILENCE!!! WE WILL CONTINUE OUR SEARCH ON OUR OWN AND THOU SHALL RETURN TO PONYVILLE IMMEDIATELY OR WE SHALL…shall…”
Luna couldn’t finish. She found herself staring into a pair of large, teal eyes looking directly at her. The princess of the night felt a chill run down her spine as those blue eyes bore into her soul. She was completely hypnotized. Everything around her faded away and all that remained were those blue irises staring at her. She tried to resist, only to suffer a massive headache that began pounding her skull like a sledgehammer. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Luna began hearing a soft voice.
“Now, you’re going to stop yelling at us and then you’re going to let us come with you to find this monster. Do you understand?”
Luna nodded weakly; her vision soon started turning back to normal as the blue eyes left her vision. Once her sight was fully restored, Luna’s knees buckled and she began panting heavily. Her headache started receding and, slowly but surely, she got back up, although her legs were still quivering slightly.
What in the unholy name of Tartarus just happened!?
Luna looked towards her companions and could see them all with their jaws on the floor, staring in shock at a shivering mass of yellow and pink that was laying in front of her. The alicorn looked down at the yellow blob and realized it was Fluttershy. The poor pegasus appeared to be terrified, for not only was she shivering but she was also hiding behind her pink mane while whispering under her breath.
Realizing that she had not yet been zapped into oblivion, banished to the sun, or been zapped into oblivion after being banished to the sun, Fluttershy tentatively looked up at the Princess standing over her and was surprised to find that she didn't look furious. She didn’t even look mildly annoyed. She looked… afraid?
“Well… um… it’s called ‘the stare’ and I use it to control animals but you were yelling and I got scared and I can’t control it so next thing I know I was using the stare and then I got scared because I didn’t know what you were going to… please don’t banish me” whimpered Fluttershy.
Luna stared at Fluttershy in disbelief. She could not fathom how this small pegasus was able to subdue her. Her! The immortal princes of the night! She was practically a goddess! But here comes this timid mare and in less than thirty seconds manages to overpower her.
“N-no Fluttershy, do not worry I will not punish you.”
“You won’t?”
Luna smiled uncomfortably. “Of course not, I recognize that it was just an accident.” That was one heck of an accident though. “In fact, I’m happy that you are now feeling better.”
Fluttershy smiled weakly at the Princess as a look of relief washed over her face. She stood up and made her way back to her friends, who had snapped out of their stupefied state and were now looking at the Princess expectantly.
“Sooooo can we come with you?” asked Rainbow Dash.
Luna sighed. She recognized that these mares where more than capable of handling themselves, they have proved as much in the past, but that did not help quell her fears that something might happen to them. If they got hurt while in her care she would never be able to live with herself. However, the longer they spent arguing about this the more time it gave the creature to escape. Besides, even if I did tell them to go back they would probably go looking for the beast on their own, and in that case better they stay with me.
“Very well, you may continue the search with me.” The girls were about to start cheering when Luna raised her hoof to silence them. “On one condition: You must promise to stay with me at all times. Never leave my field of vision. Do you understand?” The girls once again nodded in unison. Luna and the six mares started making their way out of the bog in the direction that the tracks were heading. The water and muck made following the creature difficult as it washed away any hoof prints it may have left, but it appeared to be heading in one direction so the group had a fairly good idea of where to go.
After they left the swamp behind, the search party continued walking through the forest at a brisk pace. Everypony was excited to find their fugitive and the enthusiasm in the air was electric. But as time went on and no sign of the monster was to be found the girl’s excitement started to wane.
“Ugh we’ve been walking through the forest for hours” whined Dash. “Why can’t I just fly again?”
“Because the Princess doesn’t want us to stray too far from her” stated Twilight matter-of-factly.
Rainbow just mumbled something about missing her naps and Twilight rolled her eyes. She was used to her friend complaining when it came to messing with her busy sleeping schedule and she long ago learned how to tune it out. Rainbow does have a point though. How long have we been looking for this thing?
Twilight looked up at the sky and noticed that the sun was starting to dip into the horizon. As the minutes went by the lavender unicorn found it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. No! I have to stay awake. The Princess needs my help. But it was no use. Slowly but surely Twilight’s eye lids started to droop down and before long she began to drift off into a peaceful slumber without anypony noticing.
The lavender mare continued to march onward, despite having slipped into a dreamless sleep. She began to fall behind the rest of the group, who were too busy following the creature’s tracks and staving off their own exhaustion to realize that a certain unicorn was not keeping up with them.
This continued for a while longer. Celestia’s sun was now halfway under the horizon and soon Luna would stop to quickly raise the moon; and all the while Twilight continued to trudge along in her sleep, completely oblivious to the fact that she was now lost and separated from the others.
Twilight woke up with a start when a small snake slithered against her leg. If she had not been groggy from just being woken up she probably would have screamed loud enough to burst one of her lungs. But, alas, this was not the case, and so the snake slithered on peacefully and Twilight was spared an unpleasant surprise. After rubbing her eyes she looked at her surroundings and quickly realized that she was now completely alone.
What happened? Where are the girls? I was right behind them a second ago.
Twilight continued to look around frantically while trying to come up with some sort of explination as to why she suddenly found herself alone in an unexplored part of the Everfree forest.
I must have fallen asleep, she concluded in frustration. She could hardly believe that she would allow herself to be so careless, especially while on such an important task for the Princess. Deciding that the best course of action would be to double back and try and find the path, Twilight turned around and trotted towards in the direction that she had come from.
As the sky darkened the forest became more and more imposing to the small unicorn. The trees seemed to close around her and every noise, no matter how small or insignificant, made her jump in fear. Worst of all she could not shake the feeling that she was being watched by hundreds of eyes hiding in the undergrowth. Various growls, snorts, and screams from the local wildlife were continuously emanating from every direction. The combination of all these factors, plus the fact that the sky was now blood red due to the nearly set sun, had such a powerful effect on the petit mare that with every step she took she became paler and paler.
Calm down Twilight, just calm down. Before you know it you’ll be in Ponyville, laughing about this whole event with Spike and the girls. Despite her self-assurances Twilight could not stop shivering in fear. Why am I even worried? I’m the Princess’s protégé for goodness sakes! If I could take on an Ursa Minor then there’s nothing I can’t han-
Twilight’s thought was cut short by a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She couldn’t exactly place what it was but she could tell that something was not quite right. Twilight paused to examine her surroundings. Something was just off. There was a change in the air, and it was sudden enough to derail her train of thought (which, as a young dragon can attest to, is not an easy feat).
Then it hit her.
When did it get so quiet?
The forest had become deathly silent save for the rustling of leaves in the wind. The growls of the forest dwellers that had frightened Twilight not a few moments ago were now completely absent. The birds that had cried out to one another over the forest canopy were nowhere to be found. Even the insects that crawled along the trees and dirt had disappeared… or fled.
Somehow, against all odds, the silence proved more unnerving to Twilight then the sound of forest life. It was an unnatural kind of quiet, and the mare began to feel suffocated in its presence. She was left with a single question in her mind as she shakily renewed her travel.
What caused this silence?
In what could be described as a comically well timed event, Twilight’s question would be answered almost instantly. For no sooner had this thought crossed her mind that she walked through a cluster of plants and came face to face with her own reflection.
Her thorough analysis of the situation could be listed in a series of brief thoughts that go as follows:
1. What the…? 2. Huh? 3. What’s a mirror doing he- 4. … 5. Oh my gosh. 6. Oh my gosh! 7. Oh my gosh!!! 8. MONSTER!!!
Twilight didn’t move a muscle. She was, quite literally, paralyzed in fear. She could not even form a cohesive thought due to the fact that a single voice was now occupying roughly four percent of her thought power. Said voice was a single continuous scream that failed to become an actual physical action; while the other ninety-six percent of her analytical capabilities where completely void of any thought whatsoever. To put it bluntly, the amount of useful ideas that were passing through Twilight’s sub-conscious at the time was zero, nada, zilch.
The result was that Twilight was currently staring straight into the face of the monster she was pursuing with a look of absolute terror. Her mane was disheveled into a pinky-esc fashion from the shock of having this gargantuan creature staring straight at her, and her pupils had shrunk to the size of peas. Both Twilight and the metal being gazed at each other silently, the only sound that could be heard was Twilight’s erratic breathing.
This went on for several minutes, and all the while Twilight’s mind continued to scream in fear. Sweat poured down her brow as she continued to stand unmoving, looking at her reflection on the being’s helmet. Finally, having had enough of this whole affair, the monster, who had previously been crouching low in attempt to remain undetected, stood up to its full height.
The sudden movement caught Twilight off guard. In the face of the monster’s real height she was reminded of how much bigger than her it was. Fortunately however, the beast’s movements snapped the unicorn out of her stupor, and so she did the only thing she could think of doing in a situation like this.
She screamed.
“How could you lose her!?!”
“I lost her!?! Last time I checked she was right behind you!”
“Oh, um… could you please stop yelli-”
“Ah don’t care which one uh ya lost her, we gotta find her before she gets hurt!”
“I’m sure she’s fine, besides, now we can have another search part!”
“Not now Pinkie!”
“Will you all just stop shouting!”
“You started it!”
“I don’t care started it I’m finishing it! Besides, you clearly were the one who started it.”
“ME!?! Why you prissy slu-”
“SILENCE!!! THOU SHALL END THY BICKERRING IMMEDIATELY AND GO FIND MY REAGENT SISTER’S STUDENT TOGETHER BEFORE SHE-”
Jorge had actually started feeling relaxed. The walk through the woods had been cathartic, and it was just what he needed to get his head clear and try to make sense of his situation. Now? Now he could feel his headache from earlier slowly creeping back into his skull.
Did it have to scream so loudly?
The Spartan had long since ceased to question his situation and decided that, for now, he should just go along with whatever happened until he came up with a better plan. There was little else he could do. If he was dead and this was some cruel afterlife then he couldn’t change that. If he was hallucinating or going crazy, then he would just wait to wear off or, failing that, just put a bullet in his brain. And if he was, by some sheer stroke of bad luck, alive and on some new planet populated by an alien species then… then he did not want to have to think about the implications.
That being said, just because he accepted his situation didn’t mean that he had to necessarily like it; especially when a certain alien creature, whose coloring was not exactly to Jorge’s liking, was screaming loud enough to hurt his ears even from within his helmet.
Shortly after screeching like a banshee, the little unicorn (as ridiculous as he felt calling it that Jorge felt it would serve for now) had galloped away from him at such an alarming speed that he doubted that he would have been able to catch it even if he wanted to. He was about to turn around and head in a different, quieter direction, when he heard a loud *thump* come from the direction where the horse had run to. Curious, Jorge decided to find out what had happened to the purple animal.
It’s not like I have anything better to do, he thought grimly.
He quickly arrived to a small clearing and spotted the unicorn on the other side. Much to the Spartan’s amusement, she seemed to have her horn lodged in a tree trunk and was now trying desperately to free herself.
So much for it being a threat.
Jorge continued to stare at the mare (at least he thought it was female judging from the pitch of her voice) trying to pull out her horn from the wood for the next few minutes. She continued to thrash and grunt violently, pushing with her forelegs while balancing herself on her back legs. Occasionally, she would slip and stumble slightly, resulting in unintelligible muttering.
Kind of cute actually, thought Jorge.
He began approaching the strange pony-like creature but paused when she finally managed to free herself from her predicament. She lightly rubbed her horn while muttering to herself, and turned around. When she spotted Jorge she once again froze and her pupils shrunk back to a minuscule size. He stopped moving towards her and stared back.
Oh god, please don’t scream.
Lucky for him, she did not scream, but instead back away from the massive soldier until her back pressed against the dark, warped tree which had previously imprisoned her. Jorge started making his way towards the unicorn again, curiosity winning over his better judgment, when he stopped once more. That was when he noticed how much the creature was shivering. Jorge took one quick glance at her eyes and was surprised by what he saw.
Fear.
There was no doubt about it anymore.
This is definitely not Covenant.
Covenant never show fear. Ever. They are always more than willing to die in the name of their faith. Even the grunts, who sometimes began running around screaming on the battle field, are more stupid and hysterical than anything else. But this… this was different. What Jorge saw in the pony’s eyes was the very essence of terror and he was surprised to find that he felt a pang of remorse for being its cause. Generally, he would be thrilled to be so imposing, as it could make a fight against the Covenant that much easier, but in this case he felt somewhat guilty for scaring such a delicate looking creature.
Jorge crouched down and tried to seem as none threatening as possible which was a futile gesture seeing as how he was a faceless being who towered over the spooked mare. But to his credit she did seem to start shaking less violently, at least until he tried to approach her again. At this the mare began hyperventilating and trembling worse than ever.
Undeterred, the Spartan continued advancing, not taking his eyes off the quivering purple unicorn in front of him. When he was about fifteen meters from the unicorn her horn began glowing in a purple aura similar in color to her eyes. This caused Jorge to hesitate. His fingers grazed his holstered pistol instinctively.
What’s it playing at?
The unicorn, who continued shaking like a leaf, was still obviously afraid. But Jorge knew that a frightened animal, especially when cornered, could be just as dangerous and unpredictable as when calm. Maybe more so seeing how there is an element of desperation involved, unhinging all forms of inhibition and allowing for the kind of crazy stunts that most creatures would never dare attempt. Maybe that’s what it was doing now. With this in mind Jorge slipped the pistol out of its holster and took a tentative step forward…
…only to be blocked by an invisible force.
Jorge was taken aback. He tried to step forward again and was stopped once more by the same force, only this time a large purple bubble materialized and illuminated right in front of him for a short moment. He reached out and poked at the force field in fascination, sending ripples across the sphere. Jorge looked inside the bubble and noticed that leaves were still gently stirring, as if the breeze was unaffected by the transparent wall.
He continued to poke the bubble. Every time he did so it would glow, enveloping the dark canopy in its purple light. This didn’t sit well with Jorge. He knew that Covenant could create biotic shields and the color of the sphere in front of him was uncomfortably similar to that of a Covenant carrier. He began feeling uneasy, questioning whether or not this new species was associated with the genocidal religion that was trying to wipe out his species. Maybe the creature was trying to trick him?
His doubt was immediately put to rest when he heard a shaky voice coming from inside the bubble.
“P-p-please go a-away”
Jorge turned his head to face the pony in front of him. Her eyes were closed and she was whispering the phrase to herself over and over again while tears streaked down her face. Jorge was unsure of what to do. He wasn’t a vet, an expert on animal behavior, or a diplomat. How was he supposed to handle this situation? A member of an unknown, (likely) un-hostile species, probably a child, cowering away from him, convinced that he’s going to cause her harm. This was a first for the large Spartan.
That phrase is pretty applicable to this entire day, he thought dryly.
Jorge continued to stare at the unicorn for a few seconds and sighed.
I can’t believe I’m going to try this.
“P-p-please go a-away”
Twilight was crying now. Tears were slowly leaking through her eyelids which were clenched shut in focus. She couldn’t help it. Hours of trekking through the forest had left her too exhausted to practice any advanced or long-term magic, and the headache from running horn first into a tree she was experiencing was severely hampering her concentration.
It won’t be long now, she thought miserably.
She couldn’t keep up the force field forever. Sooner or later it would collapse and she would be at the monster’s mercy. She only wished it could be later rather than sooner. Twilight could feel her magic begin to wane. Despite knowing the hopelessness of the situation, she gritted her teeth and poured every last ounce of energy into keeping the shield up.
I can’t believe I’m never going to see my friends again.
At this thought Twilight choked out a small sob. One by one, she began remembering each and every one of her friends and how they enriched her life.
Rarity, always willing to help, never expecting something in return. Applejack, she was always there for me no matter what and I could trust her with anything. Rainbow Dash, she could be hot headed sometimes but she never let me down. I can’t believe I’ll never hear her call me egghead again. Sweet, gentle Fluttershy; if anyone lived up to their element it was her. She was truly the kindest mare in Equestria. And Pinkie Pie. Celestia knows she could be annoying, but she never failed to cheer me up.
Twilight was outright weeping at this point, unable to contain her sorrow.
I never got to say goodbye.
Sweat began pouring down her brow and mixing with her tears. The base of her horn was throbbing in pain. Her breathing became irregular and she could feel her knees starting to buckle. She knew that any second now she would collapse from exhaustion and her force field would come down.
This is it. Goodbye cruel world.
“Can you talk?”
Twilight’s eyes shot open. Her shield immediately collapsed as she herself fell to the ground panting. Her vision was blurry and she was doing her best to avoid passing out. Her tongue rolled out of her mouth and was lying on the forest floor, but she couldn't care less. She stayed like this for a few minutes just trying to breathe as much air as possible, as if she had just narrowly avoided drowning. After her vision returned back to normal and she regained control over her breathing, Twilight turned her attention to the monster in front of her.
Did it just talk? I did hear it talk before right? Or did I just imagine it? Maybe I mishear-
“So… can you talk?”
Twilight was stunned. She was sure she heard it talk earlier today after it destroyed her library and she was certain that it was sentient, but to have it standing in front of her, trying to start a conversation and, more importantly, not trying to eat her… it was quite astonishing. She continued to stare at the beast, bemused, for a few seconds before realizing that it was waiting for a response.
Quick, say something smart!
“W-wha?”
Twilight felt like face-hoofing herself to death. Nice job genius.
The creature seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “Right, I suppose my first question should have been: Are you intelligent?” it replied.
Well that’s just rude. Twilight glared at the creature, annoyed by its brusqueness. Although, in retrospect, seeing how it was more than twice her size and could break through walls this probably wasn’t the best idea.
The creature stepped back away from her almost in surprise, which perplexed the lavender unicorn. Is it afraid or something?
“Well I’ll be” it muttered.
Both parties were left staring at each other for the next few minutes. Twilight felt a little awkward under the scrutiny of this mysterious creature. If it felt the same way it didn’t show it. Then again, it was somewhat difficult to gage its emotions under that helmet. After a while Twilight shakily got back on her hooves and tried to think of something to say, but her mind was completely blank. Fortunately the creature took care of that problem.
“What are you?”
“What, haven’t you ever seen a pony before?”
The creature snorted. “Not one that talks.”
“Well, what other kind is there?”
The creature didn’t respond. It just shook its head slightly and muttered something under its breath.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“You didn’t answer my question, also, why aren’t you trying to eat me?”
There was a long pause, then the creature began talking very slowly and deliberately. “Why. Would I try. To… eat you?”
“Because… isn’t that what monsters… you know… do?”
Twilight felt like a complete fool. Goodness I sound like such a filly. Of course it’s not going to try to eat me, it’s sentient. Although, dragons are also sentient…
Then, to Twilight’s surprise, the monster started chuckling.
“Heh, well I’ve never been called a monster before.”
“So if you’re not a monster then what are you?”
The creature paused for a few seconds before answering, as if it didn’t know how to respond.
“I’m a Homo Sapien.”
Twilight simply stared blankly at the ‘Homo Sapien’.
“We’re also known as Humans.”
Wait, that sounds familiar…
Then something in Twilight’s mind *clicked* and a look of comprehension appeared on her face.
“I think I’ve read about your kind before. But wait, aren’t you supposed to be a myth?”
“We’re the myth?” the human deadpanned. Twilight nodded in response and it muttered something incomprehensible again. It was at this point that Twilight realized that, not only was she still breathing, but that there was a living myth standing right in front of her. For a brief millisecond her brain was shut down by the overwhelming observation. Then, as her brain rebooted itself, thousands upon thousands of questions began pouring into her mind. Things she wanted to ask, to learn, to do with the human. Her excitement must have been visible because the human took a step back in apprehension.
I need to relax, no need to freak him out. He obviously… come to think of it, is it a ‘he'.
“Excuse me, Mr. Human? I just wanted to know, are you a… male?”
The human just stood there for a minute, as if it had not registered the question. Not the most talkative individual, thought Twilight. She was about to ask again when it answered.
“Yes. And I assume you’re a female?”
“Yes I am. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I am a unicorn mare. It is a pleasure to meet you Mr… excuse me but do you have a name?”
Once again, the human didn’t answer immediately.
“Jorge,” he finally replied in a reluctant tone.
“Pardon?”
“My name. It’s Jorge”
Twilight smiled. She was positively beaming. She was holding a conversation with an alien from an undiscovered species. And not just any undiscovered species; an undiscovered species who was only believed to exist in myth! This was probably one of the most important moments of her life. The next few minutes could permanently alter the future of Equestria forever, not to mention ponykind’s relationship with an entirely new, technologically advanced race.
I have to be careful. Jorge seems apprehensive and rightfully so. He’s in a new land facing a race he’s never seen before. If I’m going to convince him that I and ponies in general are not hostile then I need to approach this with the utmost delicacy and precisi-
Jorge whipped around to try and identify the source of the war-cry. He lifted his arm and brought his pistol to bear, ready to make whatever was stupid enough to attack him wish it hadn’t. However, before he was able to identify any attackers, the Spartan felt himself being lifted off the ground and thrown towards the tree line almost a dozen feet away. He landed against a large pine tree, which shattered into a cavalcade of splinters and bark under his weight. His mind immediately kicked into action. Unfazed by his body-slam, the soldier got back on his feet and spun around to face his attacker.
Jorge certainly was having an interesting day. After waking up in the basement of a library, he found out that he was on another planet/universe inhabited entirely by talking horses. That or he was just going insane. After passing out from exhaustion he woke up in some sort of warehouse and escaped into a dense forest. He had then stumbled upon the pony he had heard talk from earlier that day and proceeded to have the most bizarre conversation of his life before being attacked. Yes, interesting was an apt word.
Jorge turned to face his unknown assailant, ready to kill whatever had attacked him. But as the Spartan prepared himself to start firing his gun he got a good look at the aggressors and froze.
What? This can’t be real, thought Jorge in disbelief.
In front of him was a group of six more of the colorful horse-like aliens. Jorge quickly realized that most of them belonged to the group that he had seen outside the barn earlier that day. A couple of them had wings, one of them was a unicorn, and another was a hybrid of the two. Their coloring was also very distinct, their fur ranging from hot pink to cyan blue. One thing they all had in common though, were the aggressive glares they were all giving him. All except for the pink one who looked like she was trying to be angry but couldn’t contain her laughter, and a yellow pony who just seemed like it wanted to be anywhere else but here. Jorge scanned the others. The cyan pegasus had a rainbow mane and was flying over the group, looking like she couldn’t wait to attack him. There was a white unicorn with a purple mane glowered at him but appeared more annoyed than furious. An orange one with a… cowboy hat?
Jorge groaned. I'm probably going to be the only Spartan to ever receive a section eight.
The orange pony glared at him with a look of pure loathing, and seemed ready to charge. And finally the hybrid, who was larger than the others, simply stared at him in contempt. She had an air of authority about her which prompted Jorge to correctly assume that she probably their leader or something akin to one. He noticed that her horn was glowing slightly, while a few stones around her were engulfed in a similar blue aura and were levitating.
What the hell!?! These things can use telekinesis!? I suppose that would explain how I was flung twenty meters without anything touching me…
Just then the hybrid began to speak/yell.
“DO NOT WORRY TWILIGHT SPARKLE. WE WILL PROTECT THOU FROM THE BEAST!!!”
Christ! Do all these horses need to be so loud!?!
Jorge slipped his pistol back in its holster. He was not in the mood to commence a physical confrontation with the aliens. “Look, I think there may have been a misunderst-”
“SILENCE FOUL CREATURE!!! THOU WILL NOT HARM ANY OF THESE PONIES AS LONG AS I DRAW BREATH. NOW, PREPARE FOR BATTLE!!!”
“Wait Princess Luna! You don’t understand; he wasn’t trying to hurt me,” Twilight explained in a desperate attempt to calm the enraged hybrid. “Look I’m fine, he’s harmless.”
Well I wouldn’t say that.
“Twilight this thang destroyed mah barn and yer library,” the orange one snapped. “How can you say it’s harmless!?”
Her barn? No wonder they're so pissed at me. Maybe if I just expla-
Just then the pink one gasped. “The monster must be brain washing her so she says whatever it wants!”
...what?
“No one brain washes my friend!” cried the cyan pegasus as she flew straight at the Spartan. Jorge tried to pull his combat knife out but was caught off guard by the velocity at which the pegasus was attacking him so he could do little more than brace himself for the impact. The pegasus smacked into him with tremendous momentum but bounced back when she hit his armor’s shield, while he remained unmoved. Undeterred, she returned and began punching his shields in a vain attempt to harm him.
“Take this and that, and some ‘o this and a little of that,” she grunted while she attacked him.
Jorge didn’t move. He couldn’t feel any of the blows and they were practically less than worthless at taking out his armor. They couldn’t even get through his shields. The pegasus however, did not notice, for she kept attacking him. He stared at the flying horse, tilting his head quizzically.
I wonder how long it’ll take her to get tired, he thought, amused by the pegasus’ antics.
Much to Jorge’s disappointment, the dark blue hybrid used her telekinesis to drag the pegasus back to the group before he could find out.
“RAINBOW DASH!” The hybrid bellowed. “THAT WAS MOST IRRESPONSIBLE. STAY BACK; ‘WE’ SHALL DEFEAT THIS VILE CREATURE.”
“Jorge.” Twilight pointed at the Spartan for emphasis. “You know, the so-called ‘beast’ in in front of you?”
The Princess looked at the human before staring at Twilight in shock “Twilight Sparkle, do mean to tell me that you named it?” she asked in a normal volume.
Jorge had long since decided that none of these ponies posed any real threat to him; not even the so-called ‘Princess’ who had hurled him against a tree. He was, however, getting rather tired of being treated like some sort of animal.
“She didn’t name me. I am Spartan Zero Five Two, aka Jorge. Now will you please stop attacking me?”
The pink pony, who appeared completely terrified, started yelling and running around the clearing.
“Quick, cover your ears. It’s trying to brainwash us just like Twilight!” she said in between screams.
…Again: …what?
Despite how preposterous the accusation was, the other ponies, save for the Princess and Twilight, all covered their ears and began backing away from Jorge.
“You can’t be serious?” he asked in disbelief.
As soon as those words came out of his mouth the pink pony froze in midair and stayed suspended for a few seconds, not moving a muscle. Jorge was busy trying to explain how the bubble-gum pink mare was successfully defying physics when, to everyone’s surprise, she started giggling. The giggling soon erupted into outright laughter, and before long the pink pony was rolling on the forest floor clutching her sides, tears streaming down her cheeks. The others uncovered their ears and stared at their guffawing companion in bewilderment.
Suddenly, the pink pony materialized right in front of Jorge’s visor out of now where. The mare was stifling a laugh as she stared at him with eyes the size of platters. It made Jorge feel slightly uncomfortable.
“Of course not silly,” she giggled. “Everypony knows that only polka-dotted lampshades can brainwash you.”
“Pinkie!” shouted the orange one. “How many times do we have tah tell you tah stay away from that thang!? It’s dangerous!”
“Oh Applejack, I was just pranking you guys, he’s not dangerous,” replied Pinkie in a bubbly tone. “If he was my knee would be pinching. He’s just an adorable widdle giant meddle monster. Awent you? Yes you is. Yes you is.”
Pinkie began patting Jorge’s head and continued to talk to him as if he were a foal. Jorge recoiled from her touch; the conversation having gotten too surreal for his taste, or at least more than it already was. Trying to get the discussion back on track, he turned to address the Princess.
“Look, I’m not dangerous and I do not plan on attacking anybody. So can you please just calm down before someone is injured.”
Jorge noticed that she appeared taken aback by how he spoke, almost as if she didn’t expect him to be so articulate. This irritated him. He was quickly going from being weary, to being outright pissed at being treated like a mindless monster who wanted to tear everything he sees apart. He already got enough of that crap from other human soldiers, his supposed allies. The last thing he needed was the same treatment from a bunch of annoying talking alien horses. He acknowledged that he destroyed their property and that this must have been shocking for them but still, they were exaggerating just a little bit.
The Princess seemed to calm down considerably at Jorge’s words but still appeared somewhat edgy. “How can we trust you creature? You have cau-”
Jorge raised his hand to interrupt her. “First of all, I’m a human so stop all that ‘creature’ nonsense. Second, if I wanted to harm you or your fellow… ponies, you would all be dead right now.”
When he said this, Luna tensed up, lowered her head to point her horn at him, and got into a defensive stance. The other ponies looked horrified. Even Pinkie appeared a little nervous.
“You dare threaten us?” spat the Princess.
“It’s not a threat, it’s a fact,” Jorge replied with eerie calmness. He found his palm grazing his pistol’s holster as his trigger finger twitched.
The air became chill as both parties stared each other down. Jorge wanted to avoid a fight but these ponies seemed completely convinced that he was trying to cause them harm. All except for Pinkie and Twilight, and even the latter looked like was starting to have her doubts. The sun had long since set and the only light in the clearing radiated from Jorge’s armor, making the Spartan a walking beacon in the darkness. Not even the moonlight could penetrate the overhanging canopy of foliage that covered the clearing. The forest was still completely silent, which only served to make the situation all the more tense. The only sound that could be heard was the whistle of the wind as it flowed through the surrounding trees. Both parties where left staring each other, no one daring to move a muscle, for what felt like hours.
“What do you want?” Jorge asked suddenly.
“Excuse me?” asked Luna, slightly taken aback by the abruptness of Jorge’s inquiry.
“Why have you been following me?” Honestly, the soldier couldn’t care less as to their motivation for tracking him down; all that mattered to him was what was occurring at that moment. However, what was occurring was that both he and the aliens were just staring at each other, which he felt was getting him nowhere. So he hoped that trying to keep a (semi) civilized conversation going would help ease the tension.
Luna was about to speak when she stopped herself. She took a few minutes to think about how to answer him. After much internal deliberation she decided to tell this Jorge the whole truth, seeing as how just glaring at each other was not very productive.
“I, Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, received a letter from my sister’s personal student yesterday, describing a strange machine that fell out of a bright sphere in the sky. Upon my arrival to investigate said machine on my sister’s behalf, I find out that not only is the machine a creature that poses some form of intelligence, but that it destroyed Ponyville library and damaged the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. So I suppose that my original intent was to study you and learn how you arrived to Equestria, but now it appears that I am here to apprehend you before you can cause more harm.”
Luna paused to let all of the information sink in and good thing too; Jorge’s mind was reeling.
Fell out of the sky!? Equestria? Ponyville? Kurva anyád, I am in a new world!
Jorge was suddenly very aware of how tired he was. He obviously wasn’t fully recovered from his less than smooth arrival and he was really feeling its effects. But it wasn’t just physical fatigue the Spartan was suffering. He was completely mentally drained. All this new information, the new species, the fact that he was on an unknown planet, maybe a different universe entirely; it was too much. He had been holding out that maybe everything was one big hallucination, but now he had to face the fact that not only was he not hallucinating, but he was alive and on an alien world.
“Now beast, you shall answer my questions,” said Luna, jerking Jorge out of his reflection.
He hesitated. Should he really tell this mythological being how he got here? Perhaps he should keep it secret?
What’s the point? It’s not like they could use anything against me, and I doubt I’ll be seeing any other human anytime soon, he thought bitterly. Then again, they did see how I got here in the first place. Maybe if I tell them how I arrived they’ll know how to send me back.
The hope was completely far-fetched, delusional even. The odds of returning were slim at best but, despite this, Jorge latched on to that hope with all his will, silencing the more rational parts of his mind. What other choice did he have? Besides, if he was able to continue the conversation there was a chance that the ponies’ hostile attitudes towards him could be diffused. He straightened himself and prepared to explain his situation to the ponies when he stopped himself. He paused, then lifted his arms and placed his hands on his head. In one swift motion Jorge took his helmet off. The pony’s eyes widened considerably as he revealed his face to them. His voice no longer muffled, the Spartan began explaining himself.
“My name is Jorge Zero Fifty-Two. I am a human, formally known as Homo Sapien. Roughly three weeks ago the Winter Contingency was declared and Reach… my planet, was invaded by Covenant forces. I was sent on operation to destroy an enemy suppercarrier with the aid of a modified slipspace drive. Long story short, the resulting black hole must have created a wormhole which deposited me here in… Equestria.”
“I woke up inside the basement of an archive, which I presume is the library that you spoke of, and escaped only to be confronted by your species. I was exhausted from the physical trauma I endured from my arrival, causing me to pass out because next thing I knew I awoke inside some sort of warehouse, which I suppose was the orange one’s barn. Not knowing whether your species was hostile or not I choice to avoid a frontal assault and broke out the back wall. After walking through a bog and this forest for several hours I came across your purple companion. Shortly after that you attacked me and now here we are.”
The group of ponies gave Jorge blank stares. Even the Princess, who Jorge was hoping was the most intelligent of the group, just blinked in confusion. Jorge sighed and was about to tell an even more abbreviated version of his tale when Luna spoke up.
“I thought your species was a myth?” she asked, noticeably calmer than earlier.
Okay, I’m going to have to inquire about that whole myth thing.
“Well this is news to me. I didn’t know that we were all legends for a bunch of unicorns and pegasai.”
“And Earth Ponies?” asked Twilight, not catching Jorge’s irony.
“Nevermind,” he muttered. “So what now?”
“Ya’ll need to pay for mah barn!” exclaimed Applejack in frustration.
“I apologize, but I seem to be lacking the proper funds to repay you for your damages,” Jorge replied dryly.
“Ah don’t care. You can’t just walk inta our town and start wreckin’ our property!”
“It’s not like I ended up here on my own accord. Personally, I would rather have just been killed in that blast along with everything on that supercarrier.”
Jorge waited for a response that never came. Instead the orange pony looked at Jorge in disgust and… pity? It was brief and it flashed in her eyes for only half a second but Jorge had noticed it. He had not been expecting that.
The Princess appeared like she was about to speak when she was interrupted by a low, menacing growl emanating from somewhere in the forest. Everyone suddenly remembered that they were standing in a hostile forest, miles away from any civilization, in the middle of the night. The ponies all instinctively huddled together while Jorge placed his right hand on the handle of his sheathed combat knife and lowered his stance, getting into a more defensive position.
“Perhaps we should continue this conversation elsewhere,” said Luna.
“Agreed,” replied the Spartan. “But I’ve been walking through these woods for hours so I don’t think we’ll be getting out soon.”
Jorge wasn’t nervous by any means. He was trained his whole life and genetically altered to be the most efficient killing machine known to man. That being said, he still acknowledged that he was in a new world with new rules. He might no longer be on the top of the food chain so he didn’t want to stay in the creepy forest for longer than was necessary.
“Do not worry human, we shall all be back in Ponyville in a matter of moments.”
They have air travel here? That’s strange, most of the architecture looked like it came from Victorian England or something. But then again, alien world. Shouldn’t judge things by human standards, or even Covenant standards.
“Now human, come here and we will be on our way.”
All the ponies, minus Twilight and Pinkie, tensed up and looked at the Princess as if she had suggested that he give them a pony-back ride.
Jorge was confused. Why would he need to be near the Princess to ride an aircraft? Remembering that it was pointless to question their logic, he slowly made his way towards them. He was fairly certain that Princess Luna was not deceiving him but he put his helmet back on just to be safe. As he neared, the ponies, again, minus Twilight and Pinkie, backed away from him nervously but still stayed near the Princess.
He was only a few feet away and was about to ask why she had requested for him to come closer, when suddenly her horn began to glow and he was blinded by a dark blue light.
What the fu-!?
And they were gone.
This is not good. This is NOT good!
Spike was nervous. He was anxious. He was edgy. He was scared. Screw it! He was FREAKING OUT! Twilight had been gone for the entire day, despite telling him that she was going to return in an hour or two. Spike was pacing so much that he had put a groove in the floor worthy of his foster sister. After returning from the barn, the purple dragon immediately started fixing up the library. While most would say this was uncharacteristic of him, seeing as how he always whined about having to organize the books and cleaning his room, this was different. The library was as much his home as it was Twilight’s and it pained him to see in such a chaotic state.
As soon as he had arrived he began re-shelving the books that been knocked down when the monster broke through the wall. Speaking of the wall, the purple dragon put a large, white blanket over the massive hole to try to give him some privacy from the rest of the town, which could easily see everything that was going on inside. Originally he had tried to repair the wall by re-attaching the debris but this quickly proved futile seeing as how the beast had completely splintered the timber beyond repair.
Instead he simply organized the debris into a group of neat piles right outside the building. He had categorized the rubble depending on whether it belonged to a door or not, what kind of wood it was, the size of the piece in question, etc. Spike was crestfallen after he was done, realizing that he had definitely been spending too much time with Twilight and her draconian organization habits. It was also disappointing that he couldn't do anything more for the doors but he still held hope that Twilight could fix them with magic when she came back… if she came back.
Spike shuddered. He picked up a feather duster and began dusting the spotless bookshelves, hoping to push those thoughts out of his head.
Of course Twi’s coming back. She can handle anything that’s thrown at her. Some dumb monster’s not gonna stop her.
But as much as Spike tried, he couldn’t avoid thinking of what might’ve happened to his big sister. Images of Twilight lying injured in a ditch in the middle of the Everfree, about to be mauled by a pack of timber-wolves flooded his mind and before long he was on the verge of tears, unable to handle the stress.
“I-it’s f-f-fine” the purple dragon stuttered to himself. “S-she was w-with the Princess and the others. They’ll keep her safe.” Spike slumped on the library floor and held his face in his claws.
“I should have gone with them.”
His eyes glazed over as he imaged himself, taller, more muscular, with a deeper voice, completely dressed in armor while holding a shield in one claw and a lance in the other; charging at the pack of timber-wolves that had surrounded Twilight and Rarity. One by one, he knocked them out until none remained. When he untied the two mares (how did they get tied up? Who cares, it’s a fantasy) he was rewarded with a big smooch from the now scantily clad Rarity and flattering praise from Twilight.
Feeling a little better thanks to his day-dreaming, Spike stood up with a sigh and looked around the library to make sure there wasn’t anything else he needed to organize or fix. Having decided that he had completed all his chores and much more, he started making his way towards the stairs and up to bed.
“Whoo.”
Spike yelped and jumped five feet in the air. He spun around to face his assailant and came face-to-face with Twilight’s number two assistant.
“Oh. Hey Owlowiscious,” he said, his voice dripping with venom. Needless to say, he was not a big fan of the owl. “What do you want?”
“Whoo.”
Spike groaned. He was too tired and stressed for this.
“Look Owlowiscious, I’m going to bed. So can you tell Twilight I’m up in our room if she… when she comes back.”
“Whoo.”
“Twilight.”
“Whoo.”
“You know. The mare who runs this place?”
“Whoo.”
“The purple unicorn who loves to… you know what? I’m not in the mood for this. Goodnight you stupid bird.”
“Hey! Screw you too buddy.”
“Wh-whaaa!?!
Spike snapped his head around towards Owlowiscious. The owl was staring at Spike blankly, not saying anything.
“D-did you just…?”
Owlowiscious didn’t respond. He just continued to gaze at the purple dragon with his empty, piercing eyes. Spike slowly backed away from the owl.
“Ooookaaay.”
I really need to rest.
He slowly massaged his temples as he climbed the stairs. Before long he found himself in bed, tossing and turning as he tried in vain to get some sleep. He was aware of how pointless it was to try and rest, seeing as how he could not stop thinking about Twilight, Rarity, or the others, but what else could he do? He had already cleaned the library and done all his chores three times over. Waiting downstairs doing his best not to cry wasn’t going to accomplish anything. After a few minutes of this Spike just gave up, and hopped off his bed.
I’ll probably just have nightmare anyways.
He entered the bathroom, turned on the sink, and cleared some of the dry tears by splashing water on his face. He was about to leave when his eyes lingered on the mirror in front of him. He saw the face of a purple baby dragon, with a pair of green eyes and a couple of spikes of the same color on his head. The dragon’s eyes were red from crying and his toothy grin was replaced by a miserable frown.
What was I thinking? I could never go into the forest with Twi and the others. I’m just a weak, pathetic excuse for a dragon. An overgrown lizard. I’ll neve-
Spike’s train of thought was cut off by a loud zapping noise coming from the ground floor of the library. He instantly recognized the zap as a teleportation spell. There was only one unicorn he knew that could perform that kind of spell.
“Twilight!”
The bright flash of blue light subsided and Luna was quickly able to confirm that she had performed the teleportation spell successfully. She found herself surrounded by shelves stocked with hundreds of books and there was a strong, musty smell of paper in the air. She also took the time to inspect the damage done to the building and decided that the girls had exaggerated somewhat. The edifice was not destroyed but was only damaged slightly. Well, perhaps not exactly ‘slightly’, there was a large hole in the wall; but Luna concluded that the girls had been overreacting and that it was fairly understandable that Jorge would react the way he did if his story was true. Perhaps despite his ‘fact,’ he was not as dangerous as he seemed.
This hope was soon shattered as Luna felt something constrict her throat tightly, effectively blocking the passage of air to her lungs. Before she could process what was happening, she felt her back being slammed into a bookshelf. The force of the blow blurred her vision as pain shot through her spine. She slowly regained her sight while books tumbled out of the shelves around her and was able to distinguish what had attacked her.
Jorge was holding her by the neck and was easily lifting her entire body a few feet in the air, thus demonstrating the Spartan’s herculean strength. Luna was confused. What had caused this violent outburst? As far as she could tell she did nothing wrong. The Princess of the night tried in vain to use her magic to defend herself, but as soon as her horn began to glow Jorge pulled her back and once again crashed her against the shelf, knocking out what little air she had in her lungs. After that she stopped trying to use magic and simply squirmed in the Spartan’s grip.
Unsurprisingly, Rainbow Dash reacted quickly and flew straight towards Jorge in a futile attempt to save the Princess. Jorge, however, was prepared this time. When the cyan pegasus was right next to the Spartan, he quickly lashed out his free arm and struck the pony with the back of his hand. Rainbow flew to the other side of the library’s foyer and collided with an undamaged portion of the wall with dangerous force. Dazed, Rainbow slumped onto the ground and tried to get her eyes straight again, which had become crossed from the force of the blow. Once he was satisfied that his assailant was temporarily incapacitated, Jorge turned his attention to the pony in his grip.
“WHAT DID YOU DO!?!” he bellowed furiously.
Jorge had lost what little trust he had in the ponies. The Princess had obviously done something to him, some sort of biotic attack. Unfortunately, he was unsure of what its effects were and could not determine what kind of damage it had done. Was it incendiary? Projectile based? Chemical? Whatever it was, it appeared as though it had no effect on him, but Jorge had no way to be certain.
“What. Just. Happened?” he seethed through gritted teeth. He punctuated each word by adding pressure to her throat.
The girls could do little more than stare at Jorge in horror. They had never seen their Princess so powerless before and watching her now, at the Spartan's mercy, was more terrifying than the largest, most vicious hydra. Twilight in particular was shocked by the violent display. Apart from Pinkie, she was the only one pony in their group who had believed that he wasn’t dangerous. Now he was standing in the middle of her library, suffocating one of Equestria’s rulers.
Luna continued to struggle in the soldiers iron grip but to no avail. Darkness was beginning to creep into her vision as she did her best clutch onto consciousness.
“Tele…port” she choked.
Jorge froze. He took a moment to steal a glance at his surroundings. He was no longer in the forest, as evidenced by the lack of foliage and the new presence of artificial illumination, but was now standing in the middle of the library that he had woken up in earlier that day. Jorge couldn’t comprehend how the hell she had done it, but somehow the Princess had teleported them all back to their town in the blink of an eye. But wait, that can’t be possible. Granted, he had teleported the other night but that had been completely different. That had been so much more violent, more painful. Plus that had been the product of a slipspace drive, the most expensive and technologically advanced thing in all of humanity. This horse… pony had done it on her own. That wasn’t…
New world, new rules…
This was going to be difficult to get used to that was for sure. Now that he had gotten over the initial surprise of being teleported by a talking unicorn/pegasus, Jorge rapidly appreciated the gravity of his situation. To painfully understate the severity of his actions: he had caused a bit of a diplomatic snafu. He had attacked, and was currently strangling, the leader of a new sentient race with untold biotic and telekinetic abilities for the sole reason that he had been startled. Snafu indeed.
Well, in all fairness any rational human being would have been slightly startled/pants-shitingly terrified by being suddenly teleported without warning, but Jorge didn’t see it like that. He was ashamed by the way he had behaved. Because of his crass behavior he had jumped to conclusions and attacked an innocent perso- pony. He was better than this damn it!
Get a grip on yourself Jorge.
Jorge let go of the Princess and took a step back. Luna collapsed onto the floor, clutching her neck while panting in as much precious air as she could. The Spartan just stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, while Luna continued trying to burst her lungs from excess oxygen. After a few moments the Spartan began trying to address the fallen Princess.
“Look, I would like to apoligi-”
His apology was cut short when, to no one’s surprise (not even his own in all honesty), Luna shot him with as much raw magical force as she could muster. Jorge flew across the room, tearing through the kitchen door effectively destroying it (and the surrounding wall) in a similar fashion to that of the front entrance. Luna got up and slowly made her way towards the Spartan, who was now lying on a recently flattened oven, being sprinkled by water which was spewing from a broken sink.
“Okay… I deserved that,” he muttered to no one in particular.
“SILENCE! THOU HAST NO RIGHT TO SPEAK AFTER ATTACKING US!!!”
Luna was through playing around. She had foolishly chosen to trust a dangerous alien creature from mythology and was rewarded by being attacked and nearly strangled to death. When Jorge tried standing up she pinned him to the floor with her magic, making sure he wouldn’t be getting up any time soon.
“TWILIGHT!!!”
“Y-yes?”
“SEND A LETTER TO MY SISTER INFORMING HER OF WHAT HATH OCCURRED. TELL HER TO BRING A TROOP OF ROYAL GUARDS TO ESCORT THIS EVIL MONSTER TO CANTERLOT!!!”
“O-okay your h-highness. P-lease don’t yell.”
Twilight shakily made her way back into the foyer and up the stairs to find Spike; meanwhile the other elements were trying to regain their composure after having almost watched their ruler choke to death. Rainbow shakily got back on her hooves, uninjured but slightly dazed from Jorge’s blow.
“Ah knew that rotten monster was no good,” spat Applejack. “Ah kept tryin’ to tell you after it ruined mah barn.”
“Forget about your silly barn Applejack!” chided Rarity. “Look at Twilight’s library, it’s a complete mess.”
“First it wrecks the library and your barn, then it attacks Twilight, now it almost takes out the Princess and punches me!” cried Rainbow Dash furiously, who was now sporting a rather unpleasant black eye. “You should have just let me pound his back in the forest.”
“Rainbow Dash, I don’t mean tah state the painfully obvious, but ya’ll didn’t even scratch that thang’s armor. I don’t think that thang woulda noticed ya’ll were touchin’ him if you hadn’t been right up his face.”
“Could too!”
“Nice comeback genius,” said Applejack as she rolled her eyes.
“Shut up!”
“Real mature there Rainbow.”
“Your face is real mature!”
While her friends continued to bicker and trying to regain their composure, Fluttershy tentatively entered the kitchen to check on Luna. She was worried that the Princess of the night may have gotten hurt from the attack and wanted to examine her for any injuries. When she walked in Fluttershy saw the Princess standing over the now immobile Jorge with a solemn look on her face.
“Um, excuse me Princess.”
Luna was so engrossed in her thoughts that the timid voice behind her gave her a slight start.
“FLUTTERS-” *ahem* “Fluttershy what are you still doing here?” Luna asked without turning her attention away from her captive. “The situation is under control, you and the other elements may go home.”
“Oh, I um… was just wondering, if you wouldn’t mind that is, if you would… um let me check you for uh… injuries…”
“That is… very generous of you Fluttershy, but you need not worry, I am fine.”
“But you may be hurt! Please let me just make sure.” The yellow mare insisted as loudly as she dared, which is to say barely over a whisper.
“Well…” Luna was unsure. To be honest she was still a little wary of the little pegasus ever since the incident at the bog. But she did not want to hurt Fluttershy’s feelings: One, because she was adorable and two because Luna also remembered from the gala that Fluttershy could be quite… terrifying. Besides her throat was still sore and it stung whenever she swallowed.
Perhaps it would be wise to get it checked.
“Very well,” she conceded, somewhat reluctantly.
Beaming, Fluttershy flapped over towards the alicorn and began examining her neck. Luna had to muster all of her will power to avoid giggling at the ticklish jabs and prods Fluttershy was preforming. She was very gentle, almost freakishly so, Luna noted. The Princess had expected to feel sharp stabs of pain at the pokes she was receiving but instead it was almost as if Fluttershy was able to alleviate her soreness with nothing more than her touch.
“There isn’t any tissue damage, just some bruising, so you should be fine. Try to eat only soft foods or liquids for the next couple of days though.”
How Fluttershy was able to make out any kind of bruise against her dark blue coat Luna will never know, she was just relived that there was no severe damage done.
“I’m sorry.”
Upon hearing Jorge’s voice, Luna strengthened his binds and applied more pressure against him. Fluttershy, on the other hand, immediately jumped behind Luna and cowered away from the immobilized Spartan.
“I told you not to speak creature.”
“And I told you that my name is Jorge.”
Luna sent a wave of magical energy against Jorge, pushing him against the ground with enough force to shatter the kitchen tiles beneath him. She was applying sufficient pressure to break most ponies’ bones yet, much to her displeasure it appeared as though Jorge barely felt it.
“I do not care what your name is. You have no right to speak.”
“Um… excuse me?”
Fluttershy stepped in front of Luna, standing in between Jorge and the Princess. Jorge slowly lifted his head to face the yellow mare but as he did so she took a step back and hid her face behind her pink mane.
“Fluttershy stay away from it! You already checked on me and I am fine, please go home.”
Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy turned towards the Princess. “I j-just have a q-question I want to ask it.”
Luna wanted to refuse Fluttershy’s request but ultimately conceded. She had Jorge subdued so there would be no danger; and besides, who could say no to those eyes?
“All right, but do not approach it.”
Turning back to face Jorge, Fluttershy was suddenly struck with a case of cold-hooves. While he was much less threatening when being pinned to the floor by a magic, he was still scary.
Confidence Fluttershy, you can do this, she thought to herself.
“Um, Mister Monst- Jorge… I-I was just w-wondering um… did y-you k-k-k-ki…hurt the hydra in Froggy Bottom Bog?”
Oh god those eyes. There was something about her eyes. Jorge couldn’t quite tell what it was. There was kindness, no doubt about that, but there was also something more, something he couldn’t place his finger on. Then it hit him.
Innocence.
It had been a long time since Jorge had seen such a thing and that’s why it had taken him so long to figure it out. It was the kind of innocence only a child could have. Jorge rarely saw children on the front. Whenever he did they were usually survivors from an attacked colony or residents of a refugee camp. Tired, cold, desperate, and above all else hopeless. They had the dull, hollow eyes of old men who had seen unspeakable horrors and had lost any and all joy in their now miserable existence. But this creature standing in front of him… Jorge could see that she was so full of life.
The weary soldier suddenly began experiencing a flashback from a battle a few years prior. He was on one of the UNSC’s outer colonies, he couldn’t remember which one however, after a while they all blurred together into the same mess of fire and blood. He was leading a squad of marines with the objective of defending a… village? Factory? He couldn’t Jorge really remember that either.
Snow.
It was snowing. Crystals of ice slowly descended from the dark sky, softly touching down and piling up on the ground beneath him. Jorge removed his helmet and basked in the icy wind as snowflakes gently landed and melted on his face. He looked at the landscape surrounding him. The world had a kind of stillness to it that could best be described as hauntingly beautiful. Snow carpeted rolling hills all around him and long, jagged icicles hung from tree branches, glittering in the sun. He slowly closed his eyes and raised his face to the sky as the ice cold wind caressed him gently. It was all so… pure.
By the end of that day, the sky was full of smoke. Fire raged around Jorge in a massive inferno destroying everything its path. Mutilated corpses, both covenant and human, littered the countryside. The air reeked with the smell of death and the once beautiful landscape had become a veritable hell. The snow, which was had been a thing of beauty, was now stained with blood and ash. Ugly and twisted, it had become perverted like all things the war touched, a reminder of the horrors that humanity faced daily.
But this pegasus in front of him… her eyes were untainted by the sorrows that had ravaged his species for decades.
It filled Jorge with a kind of warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages, a kind of perseverance that went beyond following orders or wanting vengeance for fallen comrades. It was genuine. It was a feeling that reminded Jorge that there was more to life than the war; and on the frontlines that rare feeling was something precious.
How could I ever think that these creatures were dangerous? He stole a quick glance in the Princess's direction. Oh… right.
He continued to stare into those large teal eyes for a few seconds. He began feeling a pang of guilt in his chest, knowing full well what the answer to her question was. Despite this, Jorge decided to answer the fragile pony truthfully.
“Yes,” he whispered in an uncharacteristically gentle voice.
“B-b-but… w-why!?” demanded the yellow pegasus, who was on the verge of tears. It only served to tighten the knot in Jorge’s chest.
Before Jorge could answer Luna snorted in the derision. “What would you expect from such a violent beast?” she said in disgust.
Jorge’s jaw tightened in anger. A part of his mind couldn’t help but feel that he should have squeezed the Princess’ neck tighter. “It attacked me, so I retaliated. I only slew the creature in self-defense,” he said to Fluttershy. He then turned his attention to the Princess who was still glaring at him. “Not unlike why I assaulted you.”
“You expect me to believe that you attacked and almost strangled me because you were acting in self-defense!?” asked Luna, skepticism evident in her voice.
Jorge nodded. “I thought you had used your telekinesis to attack me, so I retaliated.”
“That’s preposterous! I was simply teleporting you back to the safety of Ponyville.”
“I didn’t exactly know that at the time, as I am not exactly familiar with your species and its capabilities. But then I realized that I had misunderstood the situation and let you go. The same way you ceased to attack me in the woods after I assured you I would not cause you any harm.”
“And that turned out swimmingly,” sneered Luna.
“Again, it was in self-defense.”
Luna eyed Jorge suspiciously. Could he be telling the truth? Could this all just be some wacky misunderstanding? His voice sounded earnest enough, and Luna liked to think of herself as a pony who could easily tell when somepony was lying. She was starting to have doubts on whether Jorge was trying to cause them harm. Like he said, he did let her go when he easily could have ended her life with a mere squeeze. Unfortunately, she wasn’t certain and the doubt was nagging her. She didn’t want to be holding an innocent creature captive, and in the end she came out of the whole affair relatively unharmed. She could understand Jorge’s reasons for doing so if he did feel genuinely threatened. But still, she couldn't be sure. She didn’t want to release Jorge only to have him go on a rampage, especially around Ponyville.
If only there was a way I could know if he was telling the truth. Like some sort of spe-
Luna then preformed a face-hoof that would make Twilight proud.
“All right Jorge. I am not sure if you are being honest but there is a quick way to find out… as long as you are willing of course. But if you are not then you will have to remain in captivity.”
Jorge nodded. He didn’t really care what it would entail as long as it freed him from the telekinetic force that was pinning him to the ground.
“Very well. I am going to ask you a series of short questions, all you have to do is answer truthfully. If you lie I will know, understood?”
That’s it? thought Jorge in bewilderment. What’s the catch? How can she tell when I’m lying? Can she use her biotics to measure my heart rate or something?
He couldn’t see any other way Luna would be able to tell if he was lying. If this was the case then Jorge could lie as he very damn well pleased. Spartan’s were trained to remain calm and collective during firefights and interrogation in the case of capture. However, not wanting to risk it with a species of unknown abilities, he ultimately decided to continue being honest with the Princess and hope it will earn him his freedom. He nodded to Luna again.
“Let us begin then,” said Luna as her horn began to glow with more intensity. “First question: What is your full name?”
Jorge didn’t understand why he needed to go through this whole shtick again, but he was in no real position to complain.
“I am Chief Warrant Officer Jorge zero five two.”
So far so good, thought Luna
“Second question: Where are you from?”
“Planet Reach”
“Okay, third question: How did you come to Equestria?”
“I died”
“Excuse me?”
Jorge sighed. “Nothing. I activated a bomb which created some sort of portal or black hole or whatever that deposited me here.”
Luna frowned. Could he be any vaguer?
“What is your purpose here in Equestria?”
“I have no purpose here. I just want to find a way back to my home.”
“Final question: Do you have any intentions of harming any pony or any other citizen of Equestria during your stay?”
“I swear not to harm any of your citizens…”
Luna smiled; he was telling the truth. I’m glad we finally got over thi-
“…Unless I am provoked or am acting in self-defense”
Her smile wavered for a fraction of a second but Jorge didn’t notice. Fair enough I suppose. These rules do apply to any other pony so it is only fair…
Jorge felt the pressure on his chest and arms subside as Luna dissipated his magical binds. Free to move around as he wished, the Spartan stood up and stretched his sore muscles, which had become stiff from the constant force being exerted on them. He looked at Luna expectantly, waiting for her to make the next move.
Taking the hint, she stepped forward standing barely a foot away from the flattened oven and Jorge.
“Let’s start over.” Luna cleared her throat and gave the warmest smile she could muster. Sadly said sentiment bounced off Jorge’s cool, faceless demeanor. Undeterred, she pressed on with the hopes that both parties’ past mistakes could be forgotten. “Hello Jorge, my name is Princess Luna, Co-ruler of Equestria and raiser of the moon. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
One of Jorge’s eyebrows rose quizzically.
Raiser of the moon?
Not concerning himself with the odd title, he stretched out his arm and opened his hand. Now it was the Princess’ turn to stare curiously at Jorge. She did not know what to make of the gesture. His hand hovered there invitingly, almost coursing her to interact.
Tentatively, she stretched out her right front leg in a similar manner and reached out to Jorge. Luna almost jumped back when the Spartan’s digits unexpectedly wrapped around her hoof, trapping it in his firm grip. She readied her magic, ready to subdue Jorge before he could attack; before she could get the chance however, the human rose his arm up and back down before releasing his hold. Luna brought her hoof to her eyes and inspected it for a few seconds shifted her gaze between it and Jorge.
What was that about? Some sort of greeting perhaps…
“So what now?” asked the human, ignoring the odd glances from the Princess.
Luna was caught off guard by the question; she hadn’t actually thought that far ahead.
What now indeed, pondered Luna. Jorge clearly has no idea how he got here so I suppose sending him back is not an option. He would have to stay in Equestria under our supervision; I don’t think that a mythological being appearing out of the blue will be taken lightly by the population. I mean, a Human! What’s next, platypuses turn out to be real as well? This is preposterous!
Granted, she was relieved that they were able to solve this confrontation peacefully. It was apparent that both parties were utterly lost in this whole affair and Luna could only imagine what was going on through the human's head; but she was still unsure at how to approach this whole situation.
She began pacing through the room, lost in her thoughts. Jorge did nothing; he just stared at Luna from behind his faceless helmet.
Where to even begin? The amount of paperwork that is going to be involved just to acknowledge his species existence, not to mention how long it would take just to grant him citizenship. And where would he reside? The property laws have gotten so much more complicated over the last thousand years; and if gets married here the- Luna stopped herself and took a deep breath. Okay I’m getting little ahead of myself. I’ll make a list: Step one, find proper accommodations for him. Step two, reveal his existence. Step three, umm… something. Step four, profit?
“Uh… Yer highness is everythang okay in there?” Applejack called out from the foyer, her argument with Dash long since over. “It sounded like you were… Ah’m askin’ her Dash, calm down! It sounded like you were talkin’ to somepony. Is Fluttershy with you?”
“Fear not Applejack. Everything is under control,” replied the Princess. Wait, they still think Jorge is my captive. Okay new plan: Step one; convince the elements that Jorge is no longer a threat. Step two, figure out the rest later.
Now with a (semi) clear plan of progression Luna turned to address the soldier standing a few feet away from her.
“Jorge, I am sorry to say that I have no idea how to proceed, I’ve never been in this kind of situation before.” The Spartan said nothing. Luna took that as a cue to continue. “So for now I think we should address the mares in the other room. I believe you should apologize for frightening them, and assure them that you are not a danger; Applejack in particular, since you damaged her barn.”
“Very well, but first…” Jorge slipped his helmet off and approached Fluttershy, who had spent most of the time there trying to remain inconspicuous. The Spartan kneeled down to get face-to-face with the yellow pegasus. Fluttershy squeaked in fear when she realized that Jorge was crouching right in front of her.
“Fluttershy, is it?” he asked in the softest voice he could manage.
Fluttershy nodded weakly and Jorge gave her a small smile in response.
“Allow me to introduce myself formally. My name is Jorge, and it is a pleasure to meet you.” He extended his right hand. “I would also like to apologize for upsetting you… with the hydra incident.”
Fluttershy eyed the humans hand warily before extending her hoof and shakily touching his fingers. “I-i-it’s f-f-fine,” she muttered before hiding behind her pink mane.
Jorge sighed. I suppose that’s the most I’m going to get for now.
“Alright, let’s go.” He stood up and, with the somber look that seemed to be permanently carved on his face more often than not, followed the alien Princess through the kitchen door.
“Ha! Check mate Applejack” declared Pinkie Pie enthusiastically. Applejack wasn’t listening however much to the pink pony’s annoyance, who prompted to poke her daydreaming friend in order to get her attention.
“Helllllllooooooo, Equestria to Applejack.”
“Huh what, ah uh… king me.”
Pinkie Pie giggled at her confused friend. “Silly Applejack, we’re playing chess not checkers, unless…” the party pony gasped in shock at her sudden, startling realization. “You’re playing a new game you invented combining checkers and chess! Applejack that’s genius, what’s the game called? How do you play? Is there strip version of it? Isn’t it kinda weird how ponies play strip poker even though they don’t usually wear clothes? Come to think of it I don’t know what strip poker is. Hey Applejack, what’s strip poker? Is it similar to strip checker-chess? *Gasp* is that what your new game is called?”
Applejack paused for a second in order to make sense of the rant that Pinkie had just barraged her with. Once the cowpony realized the pointlessness of the endeavor she chose to simply answer the energetic mare’s last question.
“What game Pinkie?”
“The game you invented, duh.”
“Um… ah didn’t invent uh game.”
“Oh. Then why were you playing checkers on a chess board?”
Applejack looked down at the board set up in front of her. Her king was quite literally completely surrounded by every single one of Pinkie’s pieces. Next to her friend lay a small pile of all her pieces, each one conquered and claimed by the pink mare.
Applejack sighed. “Ah’m sorry sugarcube, ah’ve just had mah mind on somethin’ else lately.”
“Really? What?”
Applejack hesitated. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell Pinkie what she had been thinking about. In truth she couldn’t stop thinking about Jorge. The orange cowpony was still furious about her barn. It had been brand new and after all the effort of having it destroyed and then rebuilding it, knowing that part of that hard work had gone to waste made her blood boil. As far as she was concerned Jorge was a no good monster that deserved whatever punishment the Princess had in store for him.
And yet… something about what Jorge had said in the forest bothered her. ‘Personally, I rather have just been killed.’ Applejack could not help feeling a little sad for the human despite how much she hated him at the moment. She couldn’t comprehend why anypony would want to be dead; it was just something she assumed was not possible. The orange mare had thought it was just a lie, and a very stupid lie at that, but she was the element of honesty and no matter how much she didn’t want to believe it she knew Jorge was telling the truth.
The more she thought about it the more conflicted she felt about her feelings towards Jorge. If everything he had said was true (and Applejack knew it was) then not everything that happened was his fault. He was just a victim of circumstance…
Applejack snorted. No, he’s just a monster. Nopony who attacks the Princess like that can be anything but evil. This thought did not quell her inner-turmoil however. Eager to think about something else she looked around the room for something to distract herself with. Pinkie Pie must have gotten bored waiting for a response from Applejack because she was blowing up balloons with a helium tank that Applejack assumed she must have pulled from her hair. The cowpony still found it hard to believe that Pinkie could be so chipper after Jorge had attacked the Princess. She didn’t even seem fazed by it.
Continuing her examination of the room, Applejack forced herself to focus on the library’s book shelves and endless supply of reading material.
Let’s see what we've got here. ‘Egghead’s guide to gardening’, ‘egghead’s guide to dragon training’, Spike musta really liked that one. 'Beginner's guide to apple farming'... yeah right. Transwotamationa-somthan; probably somethin’ ‘bout magic.
Applejack sighed. Nothing here really caught her interest. She turned towards her two remaining friends hoping to strike a conversation but was rendered speechless by what she saw.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash were both locked in a passionate embrace doing what experts may describe as ‘the transfusion of bodily fluids via the oral orifices’… they were making-out, is what I’m sayin’.
Applejack’s heart sank. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She felt like she had just been punched in the gut, and a part of her could hear a loud shattering sound as she watched her friends continue their lewd behavior.
“What the heck are ya’ll doin’!?” she yelled, unable to keep the hurt tone out of her voice. The response was not exactly what she was expecting.
“Quick Applejack, get her off me!”
Huh?
“Darling, if you don’t stop moving you’ll ruin your new curls. Besides, little makeup will… uh…hide that black eye,” grunted Rarity as she tried to get the now bucking pegasus under control. “Oh this is preposterous. Applejack, be a dear and help me pin Rainbow down will you?”
Applejack was soon able to get a better view of the two and couldn’t help but stand slack-jawed at what she was witnessing. Much to her great relief Rarity and Rainbow Dash weren’t smooching like there was no tomorrow, but what was occurring was no less bizarre.
Rarity was pinning a finely dressed Rainbow Dash while applying mascara and eyeliner to the struggling mare with the aid of her magic. Dash for her part was sporting a marvelously stylized mane with flowing curls that helped accentuate each one of her hairs individual hues quite nicely. At this point, anyone viewing this might start wondering what events could have led to this strange occurrence; well, that is a story for another day.
Let us just say for now that Applejack began laughing so hard it was a wonder nobody in the adjacent rooms heard her. She continued laughing, both out of relief and from her cyan friend’s appearance, for another full minute before gaining control. When she settled down she was disappointed to find that Rainbow had managed to get Rarity of her and was now removing all of the makeup and doing her best to straighten her hair.
“Aw that’s a shame sugercube. You sure looked mighty purty with all that fru fru junk,” the cowpony snickered. “Ain’t that right Fluttershy?”
“Oh yeah? Laugh it up now Applejack cuz you’re gonna get so pranked tomorrow it won’t even be funny! I mean it is gonna be funny but for me… not for you. What I’m saying is-”
Rainbow’s awkward rant was thankfully interrupted by a now worried Applejack, who had just realized that Fluttershy was absent from the room.
“Hey Rainbow… where’s Fluttershy?”
“Huh? I don’t know it’s not like I, uh… keep… dammit… er tabs on her all the… time,” grunted Rainbow as she tried yanking Rarity’s dress off.
After a few moments, once they were no longer preoccupied with their own individual dilemmas, the four remaining elements of harmony were able to hear voices coming from the kitchen.
“I think that may have been the Princess.”
“No duh Rarity,” retorted Dash, who was still angry at the dress maker. “Maybe somepony should make sure she’s okay, you know, to make sure she’s not going crazy and talking to herself.”
“Has it ever occurred to you darling, that she may be talking to Fluttershy?” Despite her effort, Rarity was unable to keep the contempt out of her voice, as she was still upset at the loss of her dress.
“Are you kidding? Jo, or whatever that freak’s name is, is in there. Do you really think Fluttershy would go in there with him? Fluttershy?”
“Don’t be so worried Dashie, I’m sure the princess is fine,” assured Pinkie.
“Maybe somepony should ask her, just tah make sure everythang’s okay with Jorge,” Applejack emphasized the human’s name to Rainbow Dash, who rolled her eyes and muttered an apathetic ‘whatever’ under her breath in response.
Seeing nopony step forward to volunteer, Applejack sighed and cantered forward to the kitchen. She stopped when she was only a few meters away, less than thrilled about going in. She would never admit this to anypony, least of all Dash, but Jorge scared her. Rainbow had one heck of a right hook (Applejack knew this from personal experience) and to see Jorge just stand there and take them like it was nothing… it was quite jarring. Oh and there was that whole almost strangled the immortal moon goddess in less than a minute thing.
Applejack was torn. Either look like a wimp in front of Rainbow, which was not an option, or go into the room with the rampaging monster from space. Fortunately, she was struck with inspiration and immediately thought of a way to know what was going on and save face in front of her friends.
“Uh… Yer highness is everythang okay in there? It sounded like you were-“
“What are you waiting for, are you going in or not?”
Ah’m askin’ her Dash, calm down!” hissed Applejack. “It sounded like you were talkin’ ta somepony. Is Fluttershy with you?”
“Fear not Applejack. Everything is under control.”
The Princess’ voice was strained. She sounded somewhat uncertain. This didn’t sit well with the orange cowpony. Applejack frowned. She was about to call out a second time when, much to her relief, the Princess walked through what was left of the kitchen followed by Fluttershy and…
“Princess look out, it’s right behind you!!!”
Her fear and conflicting feelings forgotten, Applejack charged at the human who was standing right behind Fluttershy. Applejack barged past both the yellow mare and Luna, spun around, planted both front hooves firmly on the floor and bucked the armored human as hard as she could. It felt like she was bucking a brick wall. In her haste Applejack had failed to take into account the mass a metal surrounding the human that she was attempting to harm.
Speaking of which, had the human in question not been wearing any armor he would have become the proud (and sterile) owner of two imploded testicles. Instead he was simply the not so proud (and annoyed) recipient of a powerful buck to the groin, which he had barely felt under his armor.
Applejack turned around expecting to find the Spartan sprawled on the ground, reeling from her powerful attack. Much to her dismay this was far from the case and she instead saw Jorge looking down at her with an eyebrow raised and a bemused expression on his face, while a strange yellow light glowed around his body.
The orange mare paled. Determined to protect her friends she valiantly continued to uselessly buck Jorge, undeterred by her own fear or the fact that each buck was only marginally more effective than trying to paper-cut her way through his shields. She simply continued kicking him again…
and again…
and again…
Applejack yelped as she was gently, but unexpectedly lifted off the ground right as she was about to kick Jorge a fifth time. She soon found herself staring into Jorge’s brown eyes. The human was holding Applejack by the skin of her withers with ease.
“Please stop that,” Jorge said calmly, in a slightly irritated tone.
He unceremoniously dropped Applejack, who landed on her hindquarters with a loud *thump*.
“Princess what the hay!?!” cried Rainbow Dash. “Why isn’t that thing in a cage?”
Luna but her lip and nervously glanced at Jorge, afraid that he might retaliate at Rainbow Dash’s comment. Jorge just stared at the cyan Pegasus bearing the same expressionless, yet still grim, face.
“Rainbow Dash, it is rude to insult a guest in such a manner,” scolded the Princess in a voice not unlike Rarity’s. “We have agreed that all previous hostilities were simply misunderstandings produced by mutual ignorance.”
“Excuse me Princes, but I would hardly call what that ruffian did a simple ‘misunderstanding’,” huffed Rarity.
“That’s an understatement. It freaking choked you!”
“Thank you Rainbow Dash, I had not noticed that,” replied Luna, her eyes rolling as she did so. “Despite this we have reached an understanding; in fact, I believe Jorge has something to tell you.”
Jorge did not enjoy being treated like a child. He would actually prefer being treated like a monster in all honesty. At least that was threatening. He gave Luna a look that said as much and was pleased to see that she had understood… or at least it looked like she did. Sighing inwardly he turned to the four multi-colored, talking horses in front of him (he was still having trouble getting over that).
“I apologize for frightening you earlier this evening,” he said in the most polite tone he could muster. “As you’re… Princess has mentioned it was misunderstanding which unfortunately led to an excessively violent outcome for which I take full responsibility. I hope we can move past it.”
Jorge was somewhat proud of his apology. It was quite eloquent, which would hopefully help shed the misconception of him being a monster. More importantly though: It was sincere. The more he thought about it the more he realized that he had acted brashly and that he was to blame for all the misfortune that had befallen him and the ponies that day. He truly meant what he said and was confident that they would see this and accept his apology…
“Screw that!”
…or not.
“You wrecked Twilight’s house and Applejack’s barn! Plus you attacked Princess Luna! But worst of all you freaking punched me! You think you can make it all better by saying you’re sorry? You’re lucky I don’t pound you right now.”
I can tell I’m going to get along with the rainbow haired one swimmingly, he thought.
“Rainbow Dash! While I do understand your anger there is no need for that kind of language,” Rarity reprimanded. “Besides I personally believe that Mr. Jorge’s apology was both sincere and articulate.”
“Oh come on you gotta be kidding me! What about all he did?”
“Don’t be silly Dashie. I’m sure Jorgie really really really reeeaaallly means it. Besides now we can have a welcome to Ponyville Mr. Alien party yay!”
Watching the Pinkie Pie left Jorge with so many questions. Is she always this happy? What party? Where did that cannon come from? Did that cannon just shoot confetti? And, most important of all:
Did she really just call me ‘Jorgie?’
“Are you serious Pinkie? He strangled the Princess, he’s dangerous.”
“Silly Dashie. I told you in the Everfree forest that my knee wasn’t pinching. My knee always pinches when there’s something dangerous nearby… or when Twilight face-hoofs, which has actually been happening a lot lately. Oh, also when the readers post a comment about armor lock, which may seem like something really specific but lately my knee’s been pinching like crazy!”
“What about you Fluttershy?” asked Rainbow, deciding to ignore Pinkie’s ‘nonsenses.’
“Oh um… I-I uh…” Fluttershy stammered, nervous at suddenly being the center of attention. After a moment she regained what little of her composure she could muster and addressed Rainbow. “I-I don’t t-think he’s t-that bad. It was j-just a mistake…”
“I don’t believe this!” Dash flew straight towards Jorge’s face, leaving her at eye level with him, and gave him the best death-glare she could muster. Jorge returned the gesture ten-fold. “You may have everypony else fooled, but me and Applejack know that you’re just a big, ugly-”
Dash gasped as she felt herself being dragged down to the ground by her tail.
“That’s enough Dash.”
“Applejack, what the hay!”
“Sorry sugercube, but you’re on your own on this.”
Rainbow Dash gaped at her friend, unable to believe what she had just heard. “Are you serious? Applejack, your barn! Twilight’s library! The Prince-”
“Ah know ah know, I also know that he’s tellin’ the truth.” Applejack looked up to Jorge. “Right?” Jorge responded with a curt nod.
“Oh yeah? How do you know he’s not lying?”
Applejack stared at Dash with her best ‘are you serious?’ look, and gave Rainbow a few seconds to figure it out. Much to her disappointment, her rainbow maned friend still continued to stare at Applejack expectantly, waiting for an answer. Applejack sighed and face-hoofed.
“Element uh honesty Dash. Sides, the Princess seems pretty sure that he’s okay.”
“You know, I am right here. There is no need to talk like I’m not.”
Rainbow ignored Jorge as she glared at Applejack. She turned to face each one of her friends hoping to find a modicum of support among them. All she got in return were disapproving looks.
“AAAAUUUGGHHH, fine!” she huffed. Dash flew to a corner in order to pout and mutter under her breath, occasionally glaring at Jorge.
The rest of the ponies just stood awkwardly refusing to look at Jorge, who had put his helmet back on.
"I told you Spike it’s perfectly safe."
All heads turned towards the now creaking staircase. Before long a pair of purple hooves could be seen at the top, beginning their decent.
"If you want to stay up there for now fine, but you'll have to come down eventually,” yelled Twilight towards the top floor of the library. “Sorry about that,” she said to the group downstairs. “Spike saw Jorge attack the Princess and now he’s refusing…to…come…down….” The lavender unicorn trailed off when she realized that a certain princess strangling human was in the room as well.
Sensing trouble brewing, Luna hastily explained to Twilight that everything was okay. “It was just a misunderstanding Twilight. I have forgiven Jorge and so have most of the girls.” Rainbow snorted. Well, most of them anyways.
“Oh. T-that’s…great!” said Twilight uncertainly. How long was I upstairs? “I’m glad that everything’s worked ou-” Uh oh.
The unicorn smiled nervously at Luna. “Uh Princess? I think we may have a problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“Um… remember that letter you told me to send to your sister. She’s on her wa-”
Before Twilight could finish a bright, white light flashed in the room, effectively blinding everyone. When Jorge regained his vision he saw that there were at least a dozen spears pointed directly at his face, each held by a pony clad in a golden centurion outfit. Behind the line of soldiers there stood another hybrid, completely white and wearing her own golden armor. She was radiating light throughout the entire room and her eyes burnt with fierce intensity.
“THOU SHALT NOT HARM MY SISTER!!!” she bellowed.
Jorge just stared, frozen, at the soldiers in front of him. Well… this is unexpected.
Celestia sighed.
She was not having a good day. The Princess had been stressed ever since she read Twilight’s letter early that morning. The stress was not a result of the machine that her student described (although that was quite a bizarre tale) but was brought on by the fact that her sister was visiting another community outside of Canterlot for the first time since Nightmare Night; and while that had been a great success, Celestia knew that there were still some ponies who were apprehensive of Luna’s return, almost xenophobic-ly so. As much as it upset her, the Princess of the Sun couldn’t blame them. All those myths and tales about Luna’s fall from grace had become ingrained in the public’s psyche, so much so that many young foals were still convinced that Nightmare Moon was going to return eat them, or whatever nonsense children believed in these days.
Celestia had tried desperately to suppress these tales when they first began to surface all those years ago. Sadly that quickly proved futile, due to the shocking popularity of the stories. Because of this, Celestia was afraid that Luna’s arrival would be met with some hostility, even though it appeared as though she had been accepted by the town. As such, Celestia had told Twilight to try and keep the meeting subtle, and she was certain her student would go through great lengths to accomplish this. Even so, this didn’t help improve her dampened mood.
Her patience had only deteriorated further as she arrived to the city of Baltimare. The entire affair was a commemoration ceremony for a new statue of her that they were constructing in the city’s financial district. Now admittedly, while the Princess did find it quite flattering the first dozen times her ponies had constructed a statue in her honor, after a few thousand years and a million bucking statues later she was absolutely sick of them. They never got her flanks right. They were always obscenely big. While Celestia was proud of her *ahem*, let’s say voluptuous posterior, the sculptors always went too far. Unfortunately, this particular statue was no different.
The day only got worse from there. The official ceremony was dull and took an hour longer than predicted while the reception was full of pompous politicians who had all kissed her ass so much she was afraid their lips would chafe. Speaking of asses, the mayor seemed to be particularly fond of hers as he had spent most of the night gawking at it and boldly (yet stupidly) hitting on her. The food was meager and the Princess was left starving. The weather was appalling, as it rained all day. Worst of all she was forced to wear a fake smile throughout the entire ordeal and by the end of the day her cheeks had started cramping. All this stress was not helped by the fact that one of her guards had started attacking a waiter who had offered him beverage. The other guards had managed to subdue the crazed pony and as they dragged him out of the hall he started screaming something about a lampshade making him do it. Celestia had just chalked it up to a nervous breakdown but was forced to take responsibility for his actions nonetheless.
Then there was the tea. Holy Tartarus so much tea! The white alicorn liked tea as much as the next pony, maybe more so (to even suggest that she didn’t was ludicrous!), but even she had her limits. After tea with the head of the committee that had requisitioned the statue, tea with the sculptor, tea with the head of transportation in the city, tea with the mayor (that had been particularly awkward), and tea with the head of the sanitation department she was ready to banish all the bucking tea in Equestria to the moon.
Finally, after a last meeting with the head of the Balitmare Royal Guard Department (where there was, of course, more tea), she made it back to her hotel room. Lacking in all the grace she had been forced to fake that entire day, Celestia flopped on the white sheets of her princess sized bed.
“Why couldn’t it be Las Pegasus?” she grumbled into her pillow. “I could have had fun there at least.” The only consolation that the Princess had was that her hotel room was at least nice. Of course, that was to be expected for someone in her position. The bed she was on was a four poster bed with scarlet curtains made of silk. The mattress was actually a modified cloud and the pillows were enchanted so as to not have them fall through it. The room had a beautiful balcony with various ferns and flowers of every color running along the rails. Being on the top floor of the hotel also provided a breathtaking panoramic view of the city, and by night the urban landscape became filled with thousands of glittering yellow lights, which shone in a similar fashion as the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling in the center of the room. But even if she had been staying in the nicest hotel room on the planet, the Princess would still have found herself grumbling into her pillow in frustration.
Celestia was interrupted from wallowing in her own self-pity (or whatever it is ponies wallowed in) by a loud popping noise next to her head. She immediately recognized the sound and couldn’t help but smile. After what a nightmare the day had been, she could use a letter from her student to make her feel better. Maybe there was even news about Luna. Celestia lazily rolled onto her back and propped herself against the wooden backboard of her bed. She casually levitated her reading glasses onto her nose and brought the letter up to her face. She was surprised to find that the writing was shaky and full of scratched out letters, which was quite uncharacteristic of her protégé, who sometimes went to hilariously exaggerated lengths to ensure that everything came out perfect.
As she read the letter her smile rapidly turned into a deep frown as worry and, most of all, shock claimed her. By the time she was done, Celestia was left starring at the parchment in front of her with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. Her shock quickly turned to fury, and in her blind rage she failed to notice that the letter had burst into flame. All her previous grievances forgotten, the Princess leapt off her bed and began yelling in the Royal Canterlot Voice for the first time in almost half a dozen centuries.
“CHAIN MAIL!!!”
Almost instantly, a black pony clad in golden armor and wearing a helmet with a red crest burst into the room and saluted the Princess. Chain Mail was head of Princess’ royal guard for the trip and, as such, had to be at her beck and call twenty-four/seven. While normally not the one to lead her highness’ guards on long trips like this, Chain Mail was the most experienced guard in Canterlot available at the time of their departure and, as dictated by tradition (and much to his chagrin), was forced to accompany the Princess on her trip. Being on Celestia’s detachment of personal guards was a notoriously dull experience. Infamous for never going beyond just looking over receptions, cocktail parties, or anything with tea involved. Needless to say, Chain Mail yearned for excitement.
And that was exactly what he got, for when he entered the Princess’ quarters and got a good look at her highness he was rendered speechless. To say that Celestia looked furious would be akin to describing the sun as ‘kinda warm.’ She was seething. As a matter a fact, the amount of heat she was radiating from pure rage was enough to melt the previously mentioned chandelier above her, and leave a large scorch mark on the floor where she stood. This sight turned the hardened soldier into a stuttering mess.
“Y-y-your h-highnes-s?”
“CHAIN MAIL, ROUND UP A TROOP OF YOUR MOST EXPERIENCED GUARDS AND BRING THEM HERE AT ONCE!!!”
Before the guard could say anything Celestia vanished in a flash of white light, leaving the soldier all alone in the room. The Princess found herself outside the hotel in front of her royal carriage. Without saying anything to the confused ponies next to her, she made her way inside the golden vehicle and found what she had been looking for. Inside a glass case, tucked discreetly away in a corner of the carriage, was her old armor. The Princess always took her armor wherever she went, another tradition derived from a more chaotic time, when attacks from an enemy race were always a looming possibility. Of course, it had been almost a thousand years since last she wore the golden plates and she never thought she’d have to garb them again, but here she was.
Celestia quickly shattered the glass surrounding the vestment and started putting in on. She was crestfallen to find that it was much tighter than she remembered, and resolved herself to stop eating so much cake before going to bed every night. After much grunting and swearing, Celestia finally managed to don her armor. The plates where a luminescent gold that shone naturally whenever she wore them and on her breast was a larger version of her cutie-mark. Despite its disuse the armor was well maintained and, therefore, was in fantastic condition.
Once Celestia was fully clad in her protective clothing, she rapidly teleported back to her room and was relieved to find that Chain Mail had gathered ten other guards. All of their jaws hit the ground when they got a good look at their Princess. They had never seen her in her battle armor before, or this upset for that matter. Celestia ignored the looks and turned to address Chain Mail.
“In few moments I shall teleport us to Ponyville. Are you ready commander?” The Princess knew that teleporting so many ponies to such a great distance would leave her physically drained, but time was of the essence.
“Y-yes y-y-your highness,” stammered the royal guard. “um… may I ask what we’re doing first.”
Celestia sighed. “I recently received a letter from my personal student informing me that my sister, Princess Luna, was recently attacked by a monster in the Ponyville library. She requested that I come to their assistance with a troop of royal guards in order to apprehend the beast.”
At the mention of the Luna being attacked, every guard in the room tensed and Chain Mail managed to shed his nervous demeanor.
“Anything we should expect from this creature your highness?” he asked in a more commanding voice. “His appearance for example?”
“Sadly no. Both letters where quite vague,” admitted Celestia. “All I know is that it is supposedly made of metal.”
Chain Mail’s eyebrows rose in surprise but he said nothing. He gave the Princess a quick nod.
“Very well, we are ready your highness.”
Celestia nodded back. Her horn started to glow and before any of the guards could react they found themselves standing in the middle of Ponyville’s library. The Princess slumped forward briefly after having used up so much energy, but quickly composed herself. She began looking around the room frantically and was relieved to see that her sister and all the elements were unharmed. She was about to greet them when she noticed Jorge standing right next to Luna. Her guards noticed him as well, for they immediately got into a defensive ring around the Spartan and pointed their weapons at him. It wasn’t too difficult to figure out he was the aforementioned beast. He was a seven foot tall metal biped after all. Not exactly subtle.
Celestia flared her wings and put herself right behind her line of royal guards. “THOU SHALT NOT HARM MY SISTER!!!” she bellowed.
Jorge looked down at the spears in front of him and then raised his head towards the Princess. He didn’t know what to make of this new situation. He assumed that this was Luna’s sister, who else could she be? The Spartan tried to say something to calm the enraged pony before him, but he was so caught off guard by the suddenness of her appearance that he honestly could not think of anything useful to say.
“Spears, really?” he finally asked in an amused tone. “That’s cute.”
Before the Princess could respond she felt herself being blindsided and subject into a crushing hug by Luna, who couldn’t help but squee in excitement.
“Sister!” she shouted enthusiastically, completely forgetting about the confrontation that was occurring in front of her. “Did you just use the Royal Canterlot Voice!? Oh I haven’t heard you use it in ages.”
“It’s good to see you too Luna,” wheezed Celestia. She turned to face her sister and gasped when she got a good look at her neck.
“Luna, your throat! What happened to it? How did it get so bruised?” she asked, her voice thick with concern.
Luna’s eyes widened. Seriously!? Not even I can tell when I get bruised, how the hell can everypony else?
“Oh this? Well… uh… you see… Jorge may have accidentally...um… strangled me.” Luna stressed the word ‘accidentally’ as much as possible. Jorge said nothing throughout the whole conversation. He just continued to stare at the two sisters in bewilderment, ignoring the spears and menacing glares from the soldiers in front of him.
“Who?” asked Celestia.
“You know, the…*ahem*… ‘beast’ your currently attacking.” The Princess of the Night smiled sheepishly at Jorge. Was I this hysterical when I attacked him? she asked herself.
“So let me see if I understand,” began Celestia slowly and deliberately. “This creature… this ‘Jorge’… he attacked and strangled you?”
“Yes, but everything’s fine it was just an acciden-”
Before Luna could finish she found herself being covered in a shower of wood and debris that seemed to be falling from the ceiling. The Princess shielded herself with her forelegs instinctively and, once rubble stopped cascading on top of her, got a good look at what had happened. The library was a mess (well, more than it already was anyways). Splintered wood lay strewn about the entire floor and not a single book remained in its shelf. Most of the guards and the girls were covered in debris and were helping each other up. Celestia was gone and so was Jorge, but what really caught Luna’s attention was a giant hole in the ceiling right above where he had just been standing. Uh oh.
Jorge for his part was lying on a bed, which had been crushed under his weight, after being launched through the ceiling by Celestia.
“Okay, now that’s just getting irritating,” the Spartan mumbled to himself. As he slowly got up he failed to notice a certain purple dragon who had passed out from the shock of having a giant metal being burst through the floor like a jack-in-the-box. Jorge dusted himself off as best he could and was about to make his way downstairs to try and calm the enraged Princess, when he felt an all too familiar sensation take hold of his body. Before he could react, he felt himself get pushed back onto the ground as pressure began being exerting on his chest. He looked up and saw Celestia towering over him, her eyes burning with rage and hate.
Luna rushed upstairs and saw the entire scene. “Sister please you don’t underst-”
“Stay back Luna,” snapped Celestia.
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “No, you cannot just-”
“I SAID STAY BACK!!!” Celestia’s voice was so loud that it shattered every window in the building. Had Jorge not been wearing his helmet, he was confident that his eardrums would have burst. Luna cowered under her sister’s fiery gaze. She had never before seen her this upset.
“YOU WILL PAY, YOU HEINOUS CREATURE!!!”
Now it was Jorge’s turn to get angry. He had been subjected to enough shit by these ponies and was getting absolutely sick of it. Everything he did was a product of his own ignorance and yet these creatures treated him with nothing but anger and condescension, even in the few cases where he did absolutely nothing wrong. He was sick of these aliens, sick of their insults, sick of their yelling, and, most of all, sick of being attacked and pinned to the ground by their telekinesis.
“ENOUGH!!!” roared the Spartan in rage. Using all strength he had left, Jorge pushed himself off the ground and unto his feet. Celestia was momentarily stunned by the fact that he was getting up, but quickly collected herself and sent another way of energy towards the human. Jorge staggered and almost fell backwards, but he managed to regain his footing and take a step forward. Then another, and another.
The Princess could not believe what she was seeing. This creature shouldn’t even be able to stand much less walk. She sent another ripple of energy, stronger than of the others, towards the human. Jorge’s shield glowed in protest but he marched on undeterred. Celestia continued sending wave after wave of raw magical force, each one stronger than the last. The walls of the library began cracking and Luna could swear she felt the second story floor shift slightly but the Princess of the Sun did not notice. Astoundingly enough, not only did the Spartan seem to shrug off each wave, but he actually started picking up the pace.
Finally, when he was only a few feet away from Celestia, Jorge surged forward in a massive burst of speed. Before the Princess could back up, the human kicked her legs from under her and wrapped his right arm around her neck, putting her in a tight headlock. Celestia desperately tried to use more magic to defend herself but before she could warm up another spell, Jorge grabbed her horn with his left hand and jerked her head downward. When she tried to use her magic a second time he repeated the motion, bending the horn even more.
“Turn it off or I break it off!” he threatened.
Celestia immediately stopped channeling her magic and remained perfectly still under the soldier’s control. Tears slowly began welling in her eyes, both from the pain in her horn and out of fear of being at the monster’s mercy.
“Now, I’m going to let go,” explained Jorge in a much calmer voice. “Then you and I are going to have a nice civil discussion on what occurred. Understand?”
As soon as Celestia nodded, Jorge released her and took a step back. The Princess immediately jumped back and lowered her head, aiming her horn at the Spartan as it began to glow again. Expecting as much, Jorge instantly whipped his pistol out of his holster and aimed it at the mare's head. Both were left standing, aiming at each other with their respective weapons, neither daring to move. Jorge’s trigger finger started itching again and this time he was very tempted to give it a good scratching. He had just given the alicorn a chance to end the confrontation and she foolishly chose to take advantage of that by threatening him again. As far as he was concerned if this creature was stupid enough to do that then it deserved to die. But, exerting as much self-control as he could manage, Jorge managed to prevent himself from firing and instead turned his head slightly towards Luna.
“Luna, do you see this metal thing in my hand?” he asked with unnerving coolness.
“Y-yes.”
“Right, it’s called a gun. Do you know what it does?”
Luna shook her head weakly.
“It’s what I used to take down that hydra in the swamp,” explained the human. “So tell your sister to calm the fuck down, before I splatter her brains across the wall.”
Luna’s eyes widened in shock. “Tia…p-please,” she whispered pleadingly.
Celestia’s eyes shifted between Jorge and her sister. Finally, growling at the human one last time, she lifted her horn away from him. Jorge kept the firearm trained on the Princess for a few extra seconds before placing it back in its holster. Everyone was left standing in the room as an awkwardly silence descended upon them.
“Well… that sure was exciting,” laughed Luna in a desperate attempt to ease the tension. Needless to say, it did not work and all she got in response were two glares.
“Luna, can I talk to you for a moment?” asked Celestia curtly. Without waiting for a response the Princess led her sister to the entrance of the stairs and took a deep breath.
“Explain.”
Luna sighed. “This is Jorg-”
Celestia raised her hoof to silence her sister. “Yes I gathered that,” she replied harshly. “What I want to know is why does he look like a human? Why did he attack you? And most importantly, why aren’t you letting me banish him to the bucking moon!?”
“Alright, to answer your first question, he is a human!”
“Please Luna, now’s not the time for jokes,” Celestia answered irritably.
“He is! That’s what he calls himself anyways. Besides, I saw him without that helmet of his and he looks remarkably similar to ancient images of them,” Luna explained excitedly, her eyes sparkling with glee. “Tia, you’re looking at a living, breathing myth.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. She took a quick glance at the aforementioned human and saw that he was twirling an obscenely large knife in his fingers. She turned her attention back to Luna. “Really?”
Her sister nodded enthusiastically in response. Celestia was suddenly filled with the desire to charge at the ‘human’ and barrage him with hundreds of questions, as the very implications of his existence were monumental. A living myth! She suppressed this urge and took another deep breath to calm herself. “Okay, fill me in on the details later, now what about my other questions?”
“Tia, it wasn’t his fault.”
Celestia snorted. “Yes, and I suppose he just tripped and accidently strangled you.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “I attacked first Tia, he was just defending himself.”
“Why in the holy name of Tartarus would you attack him!?”
Luna grinned sheepishly at her sister. “I may have assumed he was harming Twilight.”
“Well was he?”
“Hehe… uh no,” muttered Luna, blushing in embarrassment.
Celestia face-hoofed. “Oh Lulu…”
“Look, the point is, we managed to calm everything down and start a civil discussion with how to proceed with his situation, when you attacked him for no reason.”
“Twilight’s letter said you needed my help to subdue him!” accused Celestia indignantly.
Luna waved her hoof dismissively. “Regardless, I believe you owe him an apology. So get over there and say you’re sorry young lady.”
“Luna, I’m older than you.”
Luna just pointed towards the Spartan and put on her best ‘disappointed mother’ face. Celestia glared at her sister briefly before groaning and making her way towards Jorge. When he saw the Princess approach him, the human immediately gripped his knife tightly in his hand. Celestia ignored this and looked at the human bashfully. I suppose Luna is right, I am the one at fault here.
Clearing her throat, the Princess began apologizing to the Spartan. “Human, I would like to apologize for my brash behavior. This confrontation between us was entirely my doing.”
Jorge just grunted in response. Celestia was disappointed and somewhat insulted by his dismissive answer, but she continued nonetheless.
“Allow me to introduce myself officially. My name is Princess Celestia. Co-ruler of Equestria, raiser of the sun, and Princess Luna’s elder sister.”
Raiser of the sun? thought Jorge in confusion. What’s up with the weird titles?
He continued to examine the Princess suspiciously for a few minutes. He saw that behind Celestia, Luna was giving him an encouraging nod.
“A nevem Jorge,” he finally said.
“Excuse me?”
“My name is Jorge.”
As if on cue, the awkward silence from earlier descended over the room again as both the human and the Princess refused to look at each other.
“Oh for goodness sakes, kiss already!” cried Luna.
Both Jorge and the Princess snapped their heads towards the blue alicorn and looked at her in shock.
“Just kidding,” said the mischievous mare, trying her hardest to stifle her laughter. “B-but all joking aside, we should probably tell the others that everything has been resolved.”
Celestia and the Spartan nodded. The three of them made their way down the stairs and into the library’s foyer. Everypony appeared to be fine, and the rest of the guards were helping their last companion out of a particularly tall pile of rubble. When they saw the human, the soldiers immediately got into position to attack him but the both Princesses managed to calm them down. After some coaxing, they managed to assure everypony that Jorge was no longer a threat and that both parties had agreed to work with each other to try and solve his strange… situation. Rainbow Dash was crestfallen; as she had been hoping that Celestia would ‘pound’ him (she was still a tad touchy about the whole black eye thing). Once the hostilities were completely diffused, Jorge quietly sat down in a corner of the library and began inspecting his weapons. The girls and royal guards all started clearing up the library as best they could, while both Celestia and Luna made their way through the blanket covering the front entrance and out of the building. Once they were out of earshot from everypony inside, Luna turned to face her sister.
“So Tia… your old armor huh?”
Celestia chuckled. “Yes. It did seem rather appropriate at the time.”
“You should wear it more often. You look good in it. Quite sexy.”
“Luna!”
“I’m serious,” laughed Luna. “You got this whole dominatrix thing going. If you just put that on at banquets or the Gala then the stallions would be throwing themselves all over you.”
Celestia blushed furiously to which Luna laughed even harder.
“Um… y-your h-h-highnesses?”
Both the Princess’ heads snapped towards the source of the voice and their eyes widened to the size of platters at what they saw. The entire town was right in front of them and, somehow, the two alicorns had been too preoccupied to notice. At least a hundred ponies where staring slack-jawed at the Princesses. Celestia’s blush intensified further. How long have they been standing there?
The Princess of the sun coughed uncomfortably and approached the crowd. “G-gre-t *ahem* Greetings my little ponies. May I help you?”
A pony she recognized as Mr. Cake stepped forward. The stallion in question was about to speak but overhearing the alicorns’ conversation had put some lewd images in his head (and in every other stallion’s head present for that matter). Before he could speak the poor pastry maker became distracted by a particularly interesting fantasy that bore into his mind. Celestia was standing over him, holding a whip and clad in a skimpier version of her battle armor, while he was tied up to a large bed with a ball gag in his mouth. The Princess stepped over him, raised her whip, and-
Mr. Cake started coughing violently and managed to focus again. “Uh… w-we just wanted t-to know i-if everyt-t-thing i-is okay,” he stuttered. “There was quite a lot of uh commotion.” He nervously looked back to his wife in fear, as if she had managed to read his mind. Mrs. Cake simply glared back at him with a look that said ‘I know, and there’ll be hell to pay for it later.’ The yellow stallion gulped audibly.
Celestia for her part was absolutely mortified that the town had overheard her conversation with Luna, but still managed to maintain a steady voice. “Everything is fine. Please, everypony, go home. The situation is under control.”
The crowd reluctantly dispersed and returned home, save for a few of the more curious townsfolk, who lingered around the property. Fearing that her more stubborn subjects would attempt to enter the library, Celestia called Chain Mail and ordered him to form a perimeter around the building to make sure that nopony entered. Once the rest of the towns ponies were gone, and her guards where posted around the premises, the Princess sighed again.
“I’ve had a long day.”
“You’ve had a long day!?” cried Luna. “I’ve had a long day! I had to march through the Everfree forest for hours, look for your personal student after she somehow got lost, keep Rainbow Dash killing herself by attacking Jorge; then, after being strangled, I had to keep him from killing you! My sister, you do not know the meaning of having a long day.”
“Oh yeah? I had a meeting with the mayor of Baltimare today.”
Luna couldn’t help but shudder. “Okay, you win.”
Both burst in laughter, relieving any and all tension that remained from that night’s events.
“How that pig got elected into office I’ll never know,” chuckled Celestia as she wiped a tear from her eye.
“Me neither,” laughed Luna. “So what should we do now sister?”
Celestia pondered the question. After much internal deliberation she decided that she was much too tired to come up with a proper decision that night.
“I believe that, for now at least, we should just get some rest and try to organize this tomorrow, seeing as it will probably take a long while. I mean, a human!”
“I know right!” squealed Luna excitedly. “I can’t wait to study him.”
“Luna, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” said Celestia wearily. She felt horn start to throb at the memory of the Spartan holding it in his grip. “We should just take it easy around Jorge for now.”
“Right, of course. Only one tiny little autopsy to start with.” Luna winked at her sister. “I get it.”
“Lulu…”
“I’m just kidding Tia,” laughed the blue alicorn. “Geez, with how serious you’re being you’d think you’ve just been in a fight with a giant biped clad in metal…or something.”
Celestia sighed irritably but couldn’t help but give her sister a small smile. “Where should he stay for now though?”
Luna hummed pensively. “How about the library?”
“Twilight’s not going to like that, but I guess it will serve for the time being. I suppose it would be best to keep him secret… for now at least.”
“Very well,” agreed Luna. “I’ll go tell him. What will you do?”
“I shall stay here in Ponyville tonight. I have to raise the sun in a few hours anyways and I’m feeling too exhausted to return to Canterlot. Besides, it would be best if I stayed in the town until we figure this,” she waved her hoof towards the library, “...out. I’ll see you later, okay Luna?”
“Goodnight Tia.” With that, blue alicorn turned around and headed back into the library. The elements were still there but were huddled on one side of the room, as far away from Jorge as possible, who was sitting in the same corner as before, sharpening his knife against his armor rather menacingly. Luna told the elements they could go home, but they insisted on staying to help clean up the library. After much discussion, the Princess had to practically order the girls to leave. Eventually, the five mares all reluctantly made their way out of the library, Rainbow stopping briefly to glare at Jorge one last time before taking flight and heading back to her cloud home.
“All right then. Twilight?”
“Yes princess?”
“Jorge will be staying at the library for the time being.” Or what’s left of it thought Luna as she looked at the damaged walls that surrounded them. “Understood?”
“Oh, um… that’s uh… fantastic,” Twilight said nervously as she put on a fake smile and glanced at Jorge. “But I don’t think I have an extra room large enough for him. There is the basement but th-”
“That’s fine,” said Jorge, brusquely.
“Are you sure?” asked Twilight. “There isn’t a mattress and it is awfully messy down there.” Although, it isn’t much better up here come to think of it.
The Spartan shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places. Besides I already spent the night there once before.”
“Very well, I shall see you both tomorrow,” said Luna, nodding at both the unicorn and the human. “But first. Jorge, my sister and I have decided that for now it would be best to keep your presence a secret. Revealing you to the public now would just make this already confusing situation all the more complicated.”
“If the rest of your population would react to me the same way you and your sister did I believe that’s a good idea,” snorted Jorge.
Ignoring the jab, Luna excused herself and left the library for the last time that night. Once the Princess was gone, Twilight looked nervously at Jorge.
“W-well, goodnight,” she said with forced cheerfulness. Jorge just stared coolly at the unicorn.
“Yeah, I better go upstairs and check on Spike… my assistant. Sooooo… the basement’s that way goodnight!” Twilight rushed up the stairs and into as fast as she could and locked the door her. Ever since she watched him attack the Princess, Twilight was nervous around the human, despite their chat in the woods.
Jorge sighed and made his way down the stairs into the dark subfloor. Now that he wasn’t exhausted from the slipsace jump, he was able to get a good look at the room for the first time. Old machinery was scattered all over the place and cables hung casually from the ceiling. There were some old books lining the walls but not nearly to the degree as the first floor upstairs. Everything was covered with dust and grime, which revealed just how long it had been since someone other than him had been here. Jorge found what he recognized as the corner that he had woken up in that morning and, deciding that it was a good place as any, sat down and leaned against an old computer behind him.
The day’s events replayed in Jorge’s head. Waking up in the library, bursting out of the barn, wandering around the forest, the conversation the Twilight and the Princess, fighting both of the alicorns… it all still felt so surreal. Jorge pushed these thoughts out of his head. He was extremely tired and knew that if he didn’t stop thinking about all of this new information he would never get to sleep. He had a nagging sensation that he would need all the energy he could get for tomorrows events.
Who know, maybe it’ll involve being thrown around like a ragdoll some more, he thought cynically.
The Spartan started going through the audio files on his helmet and eventually found what he was looking for. Jazz started playing through the speakers within his helmet. While more of a fan of classical music, Jorge had always loved jazz. The rhythmic beats and base never failed to calm him, and he always tried to play it whenever he had trouble sleeping. But, despite listening to the smooth music, the Spartan found sleep to be evasive.
He couldn’t stop thinking of Reach and how it might be fairing after the Covenant’s attack. Had they manage to get their defenses up again? Would the aliens attempt another assault? Had they even cleared what was left of the enemy forces to begin with? The lack of information was nagging Jorge and making him anxious. The only consolation he had was the knowledge that, for the time being, he had been able to save the planet. That was all that mattered. Anything that happened to him now was inconsequential. He had given his home more time; the thought of this was enough to put a small smile on his face. With this thought, Jorge drifted off into a deep sleep.
It was raining that morning in Ponyville. The sky was an ugly gray color, and a light drizzle was soaking the town as a thick fog descended upon the village. The rain had turned the town’s streets into rivers of mud, and massive puddles of water could be found in almost every inch of the community. The village had become a veritable swamp. Had the water been of a more brownish tint then the streets would have looked remarkably similar to Froggy Bottom Bog.
The townsfolk were dismayed to find their village in such a state; particularly a certain dressmaker, who refused to leave her home lest she risk sullying her spotless shop with her most dreaded nemesis: mud. Yet, despite the weather, the residents of the town all marched out of their homes, headed to their respective places of employment, and hoped for the best. But there was no sunshine to greet the ponies of Ponyville that morning. No warmth. No singing birds. No smiling faces. Just the color gray, and a cold dampness that found its way into everypony’s bones. It was by far the worst day of the year, and a certain purple unicorn couldn’t help but see it as a rather ominous sign.
Twilight had awoken that morning to the sensation of water dripping on her forehead, a rather annoying thing to wake up to in her opinion. She reluctantly cracked open her eyes and lazily rolled onto her back. She looked up to her ceiling to try and find the source of the water. Much to her irritation, a small hole in the roof directly above her head was the culprit.
Great, that’s just what I need right now, thought the purple unicorn.
Twilight looked around the room and was disappointed to find that there was still a rather large hole in her floor, leading down to the bottom level of the library. She had been hoping that all of the events that occurred the night before had been a dream. Alas, this was not the case. The lavender mare got off her nearly destroyed bed and walked to the window. She parted the curtains to try and get a view of outside.
Glad to see the weather’s nice at least, she thought sarcastically.
A quiet groan snapped her out of her thoughts and she lightly made her way to the foot of her crushed mattress. Spike was tossing and turning in his small basket. His eyes were closed and he was mumbling something under his breath.
After Twilight had locked herself in her bedroom last night, she had found Spike passed out in a corner of the room. It didn’t take the mare long to figure out that he had probably fainted from shock. Twilight tried to wake him up but that quickly proved futile. He was out cold. Instead, she resigned herself to simply carry Spike to his little bed and let him sleep it out. She then made her way to her own bed, but was horrified to find that it was completely destroyed. Too tired to care, she just flopped on the now lumpy mattress and quickly fell into a deep sleep.
Now the lavender mare stood over her little brother, yawning as she prepared herself to wake him. A petty pony might see this as an opportunity to get revenge for having been woken up so rudely the day before…
With a loud yelp, Spike jumped up a few feet in the air and whipped around to glare at his foster sister. “Twilight, what the hay!?”
Twilight couldn’t help but giggle. “That’s for waking me up yesterday.”
The young dragon cracked his back and rubbed his eyes. “Just as well I guess. I was having the weirdest dream.”
“Really now?” asked the unicorn. “What was it about?”
“I dreamt that a giant metal monster thing attacked Princess Luna,” explained Spike. “I was walking downstairs to say hi to you and there it was, holding the Princess by the neck. I ran upstairs to hide but then it burst through the floor and tried to eat me. I don’t remember much after that. Pretty wacky huh?”
“Uh… well you see Spike.”
Spike’s eyes widened. “It wasn’t a dream was it?”
Before Spike could panic, Twilight quickly gave him an abbreviated summary of last night’s events. To his credit, Spike didn’t say anything throughout the whole discussion. He just listened attentively. When Twilight was done explaining the situation she stared at her little brother expectantly, trying to gauge his reactions. The dragon bore a neutral expression and just stared at the lavender unicorn calmly. Then, after confirming that she had finished her tale, Spike took a deep breath.
“WE GOTTA GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!”
“Spi-”
Before Twilight was able to calm Spike down, the dragon had already rushed to the other side of the room and started packing a suitcase (Twilight honestly could not tell where he had gotten it) with his essentials: Diamonds, Sapphires, Rubies, and all sorts of other gems of every shape and color. Spike snapped the suitcase shut and made his way towards the balcony. Just as he was about to leap from the second story in order to escape the ‘monster’, Twilight seized the hasty dragon in her telekinetic grip.
“Spike! Everything’s fine. The Princess said he was perfectly safe. Jorge won’t hurt you.” said Twilight, more to calm her own nerves than anything else. She was still wary of the Spartan ever since he attacked the Princess, despite her conversation with him in the forest. “I promise nothing will happen.”
“Are you sure Twi?”
Twilight gave the dragon a warm smile. “Positive.”
“Well okay, if you say it’s safe.”
“Great,” exclaimed Twilight happily. “Now let’s get downstairs so we can make some breakfast. You up for it, number one assistant?”
His previous trepidation forgotten, Spike gave Twilight a toothy grin and quick salute before making his way downstairs with the purple mare in tow. When they made it to the ground floor however, the brief bout of enthusiasm was immediately forgotten and fear took a hold of the young dragon once again.
“Woah. You said it was bad, but I didn’t think it was going to be this bad,” he groaned in disbelief. “Geez! You guys really did a number on this place.”
Despite the girls’ efforts last night, the floor of the library’s main floor was completely covered in rubble. A white blanket still covered the hole where the front entrance used to be, but without a proper wall, water from outside started pooling on a side of the room. Not to mention the draft. The cold air caused both Twilight and Spike to shiver as they carefully made their way to the library’s kitchen. Spike almost had a heart-attack when he saw the crushed stove and destroyed sink.
“Great, just great,” he muttered. “How am I supposed to make breakfast without a stove?”
“For now just scrounge up something from the fridge, I think there was some left over hay-fries,” suggested Twilight. “Later I’ll go through the library’s books to try and find some sort of spell to fix this mess.”
After scavenging a pair of undamaged plates and some silverware from a broken cabinet, Spike set up the table (which fortunately was not harmed during the events that transpired the night before). He warmed up two small piles of hay-fries with a burst of his flame and was about to dig in, when Twilight stopped him.
“Wait a second Spike. It’s impolite to eat without everypony present.”
“Oh come on Twilight! We’ve never had to wait for Owlowiscious before. Isn’t he nocturnal or something anyways?”
Twilight took a second to face-hoof and good thing too; it had been a long time since last she performed one.
“No Spike, I’m talking about Jorge.”
Spike’s eyes widened. “You can’t be serious?”
Twilight’s expression confirmed that she was being very serious. “After everything that happened to him last night showing him a little kindness is the least we can do,” ‘Besides, we don’t want to make him mad,’ Twilight almost said but decided against it at the last second. No need to make Spike more nervous than he already is.
“Fine,” grumbled the young dragon. “But how long do you think it’ll take him to wake up?”
As soon as the words left his mouth, a loud menacing groan echoed from deep within the confines of the basement. Twilight and Spike stared at the entrance to the sublevel with wide eyes before glancing at each other nervously. They both gulped.
“W-was t-that h-h-im?” stuttered Spike.
“I don’t know.” But if it was, I hope he’s in a good mood.
Jorge groaned a second time. He was not in a good mood.
The Spartan had awoken sore with aching muscles, a result from having rolled over into a bad posture in the middle of the night. This was not helped by the fact that he was forced to sleep in his armor. He was used to resting in his armor, but that did not take away from the fact that it was uncomfortable to sleep in.
Jorge stood up and began stretching his arms to alleviate some of the soreness. He was surprised to find that music was playing in his helmet, but then remembered that he had trouble sleeping last night and had listened to some audio files to try and help him relax. He turned off the speakers just as Duke Ellington’s ‘Lotus Blossom’ finished playing, and looked around his surroundings. He was frustrated (although not surprised) to find that everything that had happened to him in the last few days had not all been some bizarre dream; as he was still in the basement of a library belonging to a sentient race of talking ponies (again: he was still having trouble coming to terms with this).
Yawning and groaning a third time, Jorge slowly made his way up the stairs. The staircase creaked loudly as he stomped up, and the fourth step actually cracked under his weight. Jorge quickly grabbed onto the handrail to avoid falling over and forced himself to climb the staircase at a much slower pace. Finally, five minutes (and three broken stairs) later, the soldier made it to the second floor and walked through the hole where the basement’s entrance used to be. He looked around the messy foyer and heard voices coming from the kitchen. Slowly, almost apprehensively, Jorge made his way to the dining room.
The human saw Twilight sitting at the kitchen table with what appeared to be a small pile of really thin French-fries in front of her. Next to her, he was able to see the back of a small purple lizard’s head. After a second glance, Jorge realized that it was the reptile that he had seen outside the barn the other day.
A pet perhaps? Why did it also have to be purple? he thought sourly.
When Twilight saw the Spartan her eyes widened in surprise. “G-good morning Jorge. Did you sleep well?”
“Well enough,” grunted the human.
Upon hearing Jorge’s voice the small lizard snapped his head around to face him. Its eyes widened and it just stared at the human without saying a word. Twilight glanced nervously at the lizard, almost as if she was assessing its reaction.
“Cooooooooool,” it crooned after a few minutes.
Twilight stared at the reptile in disbelief while Jorge took a step back in surprise.
“It talks!?” exclaimed Jorge.
“Hey, who ya calling it?” huffed the purple creature indignantly. “Of course I talk, why wouldn’t I?
Snapping herself out of her stupor, Twilight hastily tried to introduce both of the bipeds. “Spike this is Jorge. He’s a human and he’s going to be staying with us for a few days.” So please, for the love of Celestia behave yourself. “Jorge this is my little brother Spike.”
Jorge’s eyebrows rose but this went unseen under his helmet. “I’m sorry, did you say brother?” Twilight nodded happily and gave Spike a tight hug. “Yup. He’s not my biological brother but he’s been with me ever since I hatched him as a filly.”
“Ugh, Twilight not in front of him please,” complained Spike as he squirmed in the unicorn’s grip.
“Did you sleep in your armor?” asked Twilight, ignoring the young dragon’s pleas.
Jorge shrugged. “I like my armor.” The Spartan turned his attention the small reptile in front of him. “So what are you anyways?”
“Um… I’m a dragon, duh.”
“Spike! Be nice. He’s probably never seen a dragon before,” scolded Twilight. “Right?”
“A dragon,” deadpanned Jorge, not answering Twilight’s question. “Sure, why not? I’m in a world with unicorns, pegasai, and dragons. Hát ez fantasztikus.”
“I take it you don’t have dragons where you come from?” asked Twilight.
“Only in myth.”
“Myth?” asked Spike in confusion. "Wadda you mean?”
“That you don’t really exist,” explain Jorge. “We just made you creatures up and created stories about you.” He turned to face Twilight. “Same with unicorns and pegasi.”
“Fascinating…” whispered Twilight, her nervousness momentarily forgotten. She was about to ask Jorge to elaborate on some of these stories but was interrupted by a large rumble emanating from her stomach. She blushed and glanced sheepishly at the human, who said nothing.
“Guess we should eat huh?” laughed Spike.
Jorge moved towards the table and motioned himself to sit down on one of the chairs. However, the flimsy wooden seat was unable to bear the massive Spartan’s weight and was crushed under the human almost immediately. Jorge hit the ground with a loud *thud*.
Should have seen that coming, he thought in irritation.
Spike shoved his claw into his mouth in a weak attempt to stifle his laughter while Twilight looked at Jorge with worry. “Spike, stop laughing! Are you okay Jor-?”
“I’m fine,” growled the soldier menacingly, annoyed more than anything else. Deciding to just sit on the floor (he was already more than tall enough to eat on the table from there anyways); Jorge just stared at his empty plate for a few minutes deep in thought. He then took a few minutes to look around the kitchen he was in. Like the rest of the library, the floor was covered in splintered wood. A small mound of metal which used to be the stove lay in a corner of the room surrounded by shards of porcelain. The shards were the remains of a sink, which had also been destroyed the previous night. Tubes stuck out of the wall haphazardly where the sink used to be. While they were no longer spewing water, they were bent and twisted irreparably. Jézusom, micsoda zűrzavar.
Jorge looked at Twilight, who was dejectedly levitating the broken wood from his chair and piling it up in a small corner of the room.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Twilight snapped her head towards Jorge and eyed the human nervously. “Pardon me.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated louder.
“Oh,” exclaimed Twilight in surprise. “It’s fine. I can just get another chair.”
“I’m not talking about the chair, I’m talking about this.” Jorge waved his hand around the room. “This is your home, and I’m at least partially responsible for its destruction.”
Twilight continued to stare at the Spartan, not able to formulate a response. Finally, the purple unicorn simply gave him a small smile. It was the first genuine smile she had given him since their conversation in the forest and it lacked all the trepidation and anxiety that she had radiated up to that point. “It’s fine. I guess it was our fault too. We did kind of freak out on you after all.”
The corners of Jorge’s mouth twitched slightly, almost forming a grin.
“Yeah yeah, can we eat now?” asked Spike impatiently.
Twilight glared at Spike briefly before rolling her eyes and nodding. The dragon immediately began stuffing his face with as much hay as was physically possibly while Twilight floated a plate of food over to Jorge. Realizing that the yellow sticks in front of him weren’t French-fries, the Spartan just looked at the plate in confusion before a look of comprehension appeared on his face.
“What’s wrong?” asked Twilight. “I know it’s a little early for hay-fries but it’s all we ha-”
“It’s not that,” cut in Jorge. “Humans can’t digest ha-”
He has interrupted by someone knocking the front… blanket? Twilight looked past Jorge towards the foyer. I wonder who that could be.
“Excuse me.”
As usual, the human said nothing as Twilight stood up and made her way towards the entrance of the library. Pushing the white sheet aside, her vision suddenly became filled with nothing but the color pink.
“Gah!!!” she yelled as she reared back. “Pinkie what are you doing here!?”
The pink pony was standing outside the library with a saddlebag and a smile that seemed to cover most of her face. Despite the rain, she didn’t appear to be wet. The energetic mare was bouncing up and down in excitement and Twilight’s exasperated sigh did nothing to dampen her cheerfulness.
“Hi Twilight!” Pinkie rushed towards the purple pony and gave her a bone crushing hug. “How are you doing? Did you have fun during your little slumber party with Jorge? What did you guys do? Did you play truth or dare? How about pin the tail on the pony? Or should it be human cuz of Jorge? Hey Twilight do humans have tails? Ooh did you guy play spin the bottle? How many times did you guys make-oumphfmmmpfhhfpmmf…”
Despite having just had a purple hoof shoved in her mouth, Pinkie Pie continued to ramble. She was completely unfazed by the tired glower that Twilight was giving her. After a few minutes (some of the longest few minutes of Twilight’s life) Pinkie finally stopped talking.
“Done?” asked Twilight flatly.
“Yup!”
“Pinkie, it’s seven in the morning, why are you here?”
“Huh, did you know that for some reasons ponies love telling me what time it is in the morning,” Pinkie stated ponderously. “They’re always like, ‘Pinkie it’s six in the morning!’ I mean, I know that time it is but you guys always seem to think I don’t.”
Twilight sighed miserably. She was not in the mood to deal with Pinkie’s shenanigans that morning. “What do you want Pinkie? Also, why aren’t you wet?”
Beaming, Pinkie Pie pulled out an umbrella from here hair. “I keep umbrellas all over town in case-”
“Let me guess,” interrupted Twilight. “In case of an umbrella emergency?”
“Don’t be silly,” giggled the party pony as she patted Twilight’s head. “In case it rains. I mean, who’s ever heard of an umbrella emergency?”
Twilight grounded her teeth in frustration. It turned out she was really not in the mood to deal with Pinkie’s shenanigans. “Why. Are. You. Here!?”
“Oh, I’m here to bring Jorgie a present.”
At this, Twilight stared at her pink friend curiously. “Really? What did you bring him?”
“It’s a secret.”
Twilight glanced nervously towards the kitchen. A secret present… from Pinkie? This will NOT end well. Before the purple unicorn could tell Pinkie as much however, the energetic mare had already made her way into the kitchen.
“Hi there Jorgie! Whatcha doing?”
Twilight rushed into the kitchen and tried to tackle Pinkie before she did anything to upset Jorge. Unfortunately, the pink pony (who was still hopping up and down in excitement) jumped up at the last minute causing Twilight to not only hit miss, but to also hit the adjacent wall with her head. Jorge looked towards the now dizzy Twilight in confusion. Then he glanced at Spike, who was unfazed and eating his meal as if everything was perfectly fine. Well… that was certainly interesting, thought the Spartan
Turning his attention back to the bouncing pony in front of him, Jorge noticed that Pinkie had the same unnervingly large smile that she wore the night before.
“I’m just having breakfast,” he said coolly.
“Oh. Well then in that case I guess your surprise can wait until you’re done.”
Jorge tilted his head quizzically. Surprise?
Twilight sighed in relief. Thank Celestia.
Shaking her head, the unicorn stood up and dragged Pinkie Pie back into the foyer. “Pinkie I don’t think it’s a good idea to give Jorge a surprise until he gets used to living here.”
“Why not Twilight?” asked Pinkie, truly puzzled at the lavender mare’s nervous behavior.
“We don’t know anything about him,” explained Twilight. “For all we know, what you give him could be offensive in his culture.”
“Silly Twilight, what could be offensive about cupcakes?”
Twilight was about to reply when she paused and looked at her friend in confusion. “Wait, that’s the big surprise? Cupcakes?”
“Yuppers! Why, what did you think I got him? Twilight why are you face-hoofing?”
I should have known, thought Twilight. “Well, I suppose that’s okay. Do you want to stay for breakfast?”
“Sure!” exclaimed Pinkie with excitement (in all honesty, it would be easier to simply assume that ninety-nine point nine percent of what she did was in excitement).
Both mares promptly returned to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Spike was helping himself to a third plate of food while Pinkie immediately inhaled four in less than thirty seconds. Twilight for her part was eating at a much more controlled pace, taking the time to savor each bite, something she immediately regretted as the fries were a few days old. And all the while Jorge, who had yet to remove his helmet, just sat on the floor, staring at his food and contemplating the events in his life that led him to the point where he was being fed hay by a group of alien ponies. Truly, God must be a cruel prankster.
“What’s wrong Jorge, don’t you like hay-fries?” asked Twilight in concern.
“Well, considering that humans can’t eat hay then I suppose I don’t.”
“Twilight you fed him hay?” inquired Pinkie. “Geez that’s such a cliché.”
Cliché… what? thought Jorge in confusion.
“What do you eat then?” questioned Twilight.
“All sorts of things: Grains, fruits, vegetables, dairy products such as milk and butter, meat.”
“I’m sorry; I didn’t catch that last one.”
“Meat,” repeated Jorge casually. “The flesh of animals.”
Upon hearing this Twilight paled while Spike turned five different shades of green. Jorge would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy their reactions. He was a little surprised by Spike’s response though. He had assumed that dragons ate meat, but now it was clear that was not the case. Jorge was also bewildered by Pinkie’s reaction. The pink mare just rolled her eyes, as if she had heard all of this a hundred times before.
“I-I-I don’t h-have any m-m-m-m… of that to give you,” said Twilight feeling a little nauseous. The idea of a sentient creature eating meat was still quite disgusting to her. It was actually one of the things that ponies considered as something that separated them from regular animals. She recognized that griffons and dragons were also omnivores but there weren’t that many of them in Equestria and they generally had the good taste to restrict themselves to a vegetarian diet when surrounded by ponies. Twilight assumed that the only reason that Spike was having the same reaction as her was that, being raised by ponies, he had lived his whole life as a vegetarian (save for the occasional gem).
“That’s so gross,” muttered the dragon as he tried to keep his breakfast down.
“You said you ate other things right?” asked Twilight just to make sure. “Fruits and vegetables?”
Jorge nodded.
“Well, maybe I have a few apples lying around…” Twilight made her way back towards the fridge and began rummaging through its contents.
“Oooh Twilight, Twilight!” called out Pinkie… in excitement obviously. “I have an idea. What if I just gave him my surprise now and he could have it for breakfast!”
Twilight paused from her scavenging and hummed pensively. “I guess I don’t see why not,” she said somewhat reluctantly.
Pinkie immediately leaped towards the Spartan and onto the dining table, knocking away glasses and plates, and spilling their contents all over the kitchen floor. Jorge backed up slightly, uneasy by the pink earth-pony’s close proximity to him. In one swift motion Pinkie pulled out a large blue box from her saddle bag and presented it to Jorge. The human eyed the box suspiciously before looking at the pony offering it to him. Pinkie was smiling her huge smile as her eyes glittered with anticipation. Jorge cautiously reached out and grasped the box. The moment his hands clamped over the cardboard Pinkie began shivering in anticipation.
Jorge brought the box to his face and prepared himself to open it. His muscles were tense as he slowly lifted the cover. The moment he got a glimpse of what was inside his shoulders sagged and he let out an exasperated sigh. Inside the box, were over a dozen cupcakes topped with pink frosting, each one with a large strawberry poking out of the top. “Cupcakes, really? You shouldn’t have.”
“You’re welcome!” shouted Pinkie happily as she threw confetti and streamers into the air.
“No, I mean you really shouldn’t have,” replied the Spartan curtly.
At this, Pinkie’s smile vanished instantly and was replaced by a concerned frown. “What’s wrong?” Suddenly Pinkie Pie gasped. “You’re allergic to strawberries!”
“It’s not that,” answered Jorge. “I just don’t eat sugar.”
Twilight stared at Jorge in fascination. Much to the human’s annoyance she quickly floated over a notepad and a pen, and began taking notes.
“Interesting. Are human’s not able to digest sucrose?” she asked.
“No, humans do eat sugar. It’s more of a personal thing.” Growing up in the military base on Reach, sugar had been a commodity, both due to rationing as a cause of the war and because of dietary restrictions. This became even truer on the front, where the military couldn’t afford to have real sugar in their standard rations. Coupled with the fact that Jorge never really had much of a sweet tooth to begin with, and he just stopped eating the sweet substance altogether. It had been years since last he ate the rare and expensive treat but he didn’t really mind that much.
Pinkie, however, did mind. A lot. Her entire life was based around sugar (well, that and throwing parties of course). She worked and lived in a bakery. Half her parties featured cavalcades of sweet delights that she personally baked herself. She gave all her friends free cupcakes on a regular basis. Heck, it was practically all she lived on. It was a wonder her teeth were as nice as they were. If any other creature were to eat as much sugar as she did they would rot their teeth away in a matter of days. Most important of all though, apart from throwing a party she always gave a baker’s dozen of cupcakes to every new pony who came to town (Jorge may not be a pony but it was close enough). But it was worse than that. Pinkie had never encountered somepony… someone who didn’t enjoy anything sweet. To have someone to tell her they didn’t eat sugar…it went against everything she believed in. IT DIDN”T MAKE SENSE!!!
Pinkie’s huge smile returned just as quickly as it had gone. Though, it wasn’t the same bubbly, carefree grin she had displayed moments ago. This was a smile that was entirely, one hundred percent forced. Twilight couldn’t remember the last time her pink friend had such a strained smile.
“Please, I insist,” said Pinkie through clenched teeth as she waved a cupcake in front of Jorge’s face. “Everypony has to try one of my super-duper amazingly stupendously delicious cupcakes!”
“No thank you,” answered Jorge gruffly.
“Eat. The. Cupcake,” commanded Pinkie. All the sweetness from her voice was long gone. Jorge leaned in close to the pink pony so that his helmet was centimeters away from her face.
“No.”
Both stayed locked on each other for what felt like hours, neither moving an inch. All the while Jorge scowled at the insistent pony in front of him. The gesture went unseen as all she could see was her equally intense glare reflected of the glass of his helmet. Finally, after a few minutes of silent staring (and Twilight and Spike shifting their eyes between both the human and the pink mare), Pinkie calmly looked down at the cupcake in her hoof and then back up to Jorge. Without saying a word, she rushed at the Spartan with her cupcake in an attempt to force feed him. The movement was so sudden that Jorge was unable to jerk away in time to avoid getting a face full of cake and icing. Unfortunately, in her haste, Pinkie forgot about the helmet separating Jorge’s mouth from her. So instead of being able to revel in the victory of having made another pony happy (she takes others’ happiness very seriously) she only managed to make the human very upset.
“ARGHH!!! Te kis rózsaszín kurva! ” shouted Jorge as he stumbled back into the wall behind him. “I’m never going to eat one of your fucking cupcakes, so leave me alone!”
“B-b-but…” blubbered Pinkie as tears welled in her eyes. “but e-e-every p-p-pony-”
“I’m not a god-dammed pony!” snapped Jorge as he furiously wiped away the frosting from his visor. Once he had cleared his vision enough to see properly he turned his attention back to his attacker, ready to lash at her verbally. But when he got a good look at her he stopped himself. He was surprised to see that tears were forming in the corner of the pony’s eyes while her lower lip trembled violently. Oh for Christ’s sakes, he thought in exasperation. Please don’t cry.
Much to his surprise however, as soon as he thought this Pinkie’s tears instantly disappeared and her lip stopped trembling. Jorge thought that she had gotten over the little fiasco when, suddenly, her right eye started twitching and she began mumbling to herself.
“C-cupcakes… you…e-eat, everypony… nopony not eat… love sugar… c-cupcakes, you h-have…to,” muttered Pinkie to herself while her eye continued to twitch.
Jorge turned his attention to Twilight, who was staring at her friend with concern.
“Is she alright?” he asked the lavender mare.
“I think you just broke her,” said Spike nervously.
Jorge looked back towards Pinkie and saw that both her eyes had crossed away from each other while she was smiling a psychotic smirk. All the while she continued muttering to herself as her eyes twitched. “Everypony needs…eat… meat.”
Pinkie Pie suddenly perked up and turned to face Jorge. “Jorgie you said you eat meat right?”
“Yes…” answered Jorge cautiously. “Why?”
Pinkie didn’t answer the human. She just started rambling to herself again. “M-meat cupcakes instead of sugar? But where would I get meat. One of Fluttershy’s animals… Angel cupcakes,” giggled the mare maniacally.
“Jorge,” whispered Twilight anxiously. “Eat one of the cupcakes.”
“No,” refused the soldier. But when he turned back to look at Pinkie he saw that she was looking at the kitchen knives with a rather discomforting grin plastered on her face. He did not like that grin in the slightest.
“Fine,” sighed Jorge. “I’ll eat one of your bloody cupcakes.”
Pinkie’s creepy smirk was immediately replaced with her previous warm smile.
“Yay!” she cheered as she grabbed a second cupcake and offered it up to Jorge. Hehheh, works every time, she thought to herself.
Jorge eyed the cupcake apprehensively. He reluctantly placed his hands on his head, slipped off his helmet and put it on the table. The human griped the moist cupcake in his hand and took a bite. It took all of his will-power to avoid gagging from the intense sweetness. It was as if he was eating a solid block of sugar. Pinkie’s confectionaries were notorious for having near lethal amounts of sugar. The town had long since gotten used to overly saturated treats, but for someone from out of town the experience could be somewhat unpleasant; especially when that someone rarely ate sugar to begin with. Finally, Jorge managed to swallow the bite.
“Thank you,” he muttered unenthusiastically.
“Aren’t you gonna finish it?” asked Pinkie.
“Oh, I’d rather save it for later. Now can I please have one of those apples?”
The group sat down and finished eating. Spike and the girls all ate their hay-fries and helped themselves to some cupcakes while Jorge was forced to contend with half a dozen apples. While at first the meal seemed meager, the human soon came to the conclusion that they were the best damn apples he’d ever had the pleasure of eating. They had a perfect combination of sweet and sourness that proved to be quite pleasant, and Jorge savored every bite as the fruits’ juices ran down his chin. Best of all, the tangy flavor was just what he needed to get the lingering taste of cupcake out of his mouth.
Once they were done with their meal, Jorge put his helmet back on and the group returned to the library’s foyer/living room to wait for the Princesses. Twilight excused herself and began searching for a book that might contain a spell to repair the library, while Spike and Pinkie Pie fawned over Jorge’s armor. The Spartan rapidly grew weary of their presence and eventually retreated into a corner of the room to inspect his equipment. Once he had determined that everything was in good condition, he pulled out his combat knife and began sharpening it to pass the time.
If I do this too often I’ll have to paint a skull on my helmet. Jorge grinned at the thought. As much as he sometimes hated the reckless soldier, Jorge had to admit that Emile could be a dependable ally in a fight. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the quiet bastard.
Jorge’s thoughts eventually wandered back to Reach and how they were faring. Specifically, how Nobel Team was managing. Had they driven the Covenant off the Planet? Did they win? Of course they did. Reach is the most heavily fortified planet in UNSC space besides Earth, he reasoned. Hell, we’ve got at least twenty MAC guns orbiting the planet. Not to mention all the Spartans that are stationed there…
Jorge remained deep in these thoughts for most of the morning, and all the while he continued to absentmindedly sharpen his knife. At around one in the afternoon he was jerked out his thoughts by the rings of an old grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Looking down at his knife, the Spartan came to the conclusion that it was more than sharp enough. He sheathed it and began looking for something to pass the time with until the Princesses showed up. Nothing in the room really caught his interest. Pinkie and Spike were both playing some sort of board game and he was not inclined to go join them. First, because he didn’t know the rules, second because he was loathed to participate in such a childish activity, and third because he feared that talking too much to Pinkie Pie would cause his brain to hemorrhage. Jorge turned his attention to Twilight, who was still nose deep in another book. The Spartan couldn’t help but frown slightly whenever he saw her.
Purple, he thought with disdain. They had to pair me with the purple one. As Jorge continued to stare at the unicorn an idea popped in his head. “Tell me about humans.”
Twilight was so engrossed in her reading material that she jumped slightly when he heard the human’s voice. “I think you would know more about that than me.”
“Not real humans, your version of humans.”
Twilight stared at Jorge in puzzlement before realizing what he meant. “Oh! You mean our myths about you?”
Jorge nodded.
“Well, I don’t remember much in all honesty,” she said apologetically. “I only read about you guys when I was much younger, and I haven’t had much time to brush up.” Twilight began tapping her chin ponderously. “I do know that you look similar to ancient depictions of them, only less hairy.”
“Less hairy?”
“Yes. I don’t know about the rest of your body but the drawings in the books depicted humans as having more hair on their faces.” Twilight gave the Spartan an apologetic shrug. “Like I said I don’t remember much. I’ll have to read up on it to tell you the specifics. Or you could ask a minotaur about it. If I remember correctly, humans were a more important part of their lore than ours.”
“Minotaur?” asked Jorge in confusion. “You mean those half man half bull things?”
“Uh… well I wouldn’t describe them as that…”
Jorge was utterly flummoxed. He was being told with straight face that there were minotaurs on this planet, universe, dimension, or whatever he was in. He was about to tell Twilight how ridiculous she was being when he suddenly realized that he was holding a conversation with a talking purple unicorn who happened to be related to a dragon. Perhaps minotaurs weren’t the craziest things that might exist on this planet.
“Wait. You’re talking about them as if their sentient,” he pointed out.
Twilight gave Jorge a puzzled look. “Don’t you have minotaurs were you come from?”
“Again, only in myth. Are ponies not the only sentient creatures here?”
“No! There are other races besides ponies that inhabit the world.” Twilight spent the next twenty minutes telling Jorge about the other civilizations that ponies shared their world with. She told him about the griffon kingdoms to the north and her brief yet unpleasant experience with one that came to town. She told him all about the Zebra clans that inhabited the great savannahs east of Equestria, spending the better part of that explination talking about her friend Zecora. She described the buffalo tribes to the west. Then she briefly told Jorge about changelings, deciding to avoid explaining the incident in Canterlot a few weeks back. All the while, the Spartan sat and listened attentively; never interrupting the purple unicorn, not even to ask questions or to clarify something he didn’t understand. Twilight actually found it refreshing to finally be able to give somebody a lecture without being interrupted every five seconds. When she was done she looked at Jorge expectantly, waiting for a response from the human.
“It’s like I landed in a children’s story book about Greek mythology,” Jorge muttered to himself.
“I’m sorry?” asked Twilight.
“Nothing.”
The mare was about to pry further when she was interrupted by a loud growl coming from her abdomen. She blushed at Jorge and glanced to the clock. One-thirty!!! How did the time pass so quickly? I’ve been looking all morning and I still couldn’t find a spell to fix my library.
“Looks like it’s time for lunch,” Twilight said to herself. “Spike, do you mind making us something to eat?”
“There’s nothing left in the kitchen,” answered the dragon without taking his eyes off the board game in front of him.
“What do you mean there’s ‘nothing left?’”
“All the food was either finished this morning or got trashed last night.”
“Are you telling me that the only thing we had in the fridge were the left over hay-fries and some apples?” asked Twilight in disbelief.
“Pretty much. Besides it is Tuesday.”
“Oh…right.” Tuesday was grocery day. Every Tuesday Twilight would go to Ponyville’s market to buy everything they would need for the week. The purple unicorn kept a very detailed list of everything that they needed and was very strict about its contents. She also had an outlined plan on how to get through the market the most efficient way possible (surprise, surprise). As a result she usually did most of the shopping herself. It was also mostly fair, seeing as how Spike did most of the cooking.
“All right then,” said Twilight as she reluctantly stood up. “I’m going to head to the market to buy us some lunch. Pinkie, Spike, take care of Jorge and make sure he doesn’t leave the library.”
“I wasn’t planning to,” said Jorge.
Twilight stood up and grabbed her saddlebag. She was about to exit the library, when she stopped and looked back at the group. Wait, did I just tell Spike and Pinkie to take care of Jorge!? Am I insane? Her question was answered by a second growl emanating from her stomach. Well… I’ll only be gone for less than twenty minutes. They’ll be fine and I’ll be back before I know it.
Two hours later, Twilight was still in the middle of Ponyville’s main square. In all that time she hadn’t even been able to buy half of the things on her list. To make matters worse, she had completely forgotten about the rain, resulting in both copious amounts of face-hoofing and her getting soaked. She made a mental note to strangle Rainbow Dash and everypony on the weather team next time she saw them. The reason she liked going to the Tuesday market in the first place was that it was relatively empty compared to other days. This made Tuesdays the most efficient days to go shopping (in case you couldn’t tell, this is a pony who loves efficiency). But this was not the case this particular Tuesday.
The reason for this was that there was such a buzz about last night’s events that the market was more crowded than usual despite the rain. Most annoying of all, Twilight was being stopped by somepony every thirty seconds to be asked what had happened in the library the night before. Every single time she would tell them the same lie: she was practicing a new spell which backfired. This would usually get the pony in question to go away, but some of the more insistent ones would then ask why both Princesses showed up. Unable to come up with a believable excuse for this, the lavender mare would then politely tell the inquiring pony to buck off (not in those particular words obviously). Worst of all, anypony not asking her about what happened last night was whispering about her when they thought she couldn’t hear them. She seemed to be the main topic of conversation that day, and the unicorn couldn’t help but feel that whatever they were saying wasn't all that flattering. All of this wasn’t helped by the fact that she had yet to eat anything and was positively starving.
Twilight sighed, as she waited in line to get some celery. Dozens of eyes were glancing at her constantly and she was getting rather sick of it. When she finally arrived to stall she was disappointed to find that all the celery was sold out. Well, maybe ‘disappointed’ wasn’t the best word. Perhaps ‘murderously furious’ would be a more apt description? Or let’s just say for now that it was a good thing it was raining, else the little unicorn may have burst into flames again.
Forget this! Spike will just have to make something with what I already have.
With a huff, Twilight turned around and began making her way back to the library. She was almost out of the crowded plaza, when a small newspaper stand caught her eye. Deciding that it was probably a good idea to get that morning’s paper for Spike, Twilight quickly trotted to the shop. What she saw on the front cover of that day’s newspaper caused her jaw to drop. Oh no!!! This is not good. This is really, really not good. The unicorn quickly gave the shop owner a couple of bits and levitated the paper into her bag. She was about to gallop to the library as fast as she could but when she turned around she came face-to-face with a pair of yellow eyes.
“Gah!!!” yelled Twilight in surprise as she jumped back into the stall behind her. Once she got her heat-rate under control she managed to get a good look at the eyes’ owner. “Lyra?”
Lyra was standing right in front of the lavender unicorn, piercing her with an unflinching gaze. The mint-green mare was smiling an eerie smile that could put Pinkamena Diane Pie to shame, while her pupils were the size of pinpricks. She also appeared to be panting quite heavily, which only served to notch her creepiness up to eleven.
“Where is it Sparkle?” asked the green unicorn in a voice that would make Hannibal Lector piss himself.
“What are you t-t-talking about L-L-Lyra?” stuttered Twilight nervously.
Lyra stepped forward and presses her nose against Twilight’s, all the while without blinking once. “Don’t play games with me Sparkle,” she hissed. “I know you have it. Now where is the human?”
Twilight paled. Whether it was from Lyra knowing about Jorge or from the crazed mare’s stare she couldn’t tell. “I-I… w-what h-huma…” Twilight trailed off when Lyra’s right eye twitched slightly. Dear Luna she’s worse than Pinkie Pie!!!
Lyra opened her mouth and was about to speak, when, much to Twilight’s relief, she was interrupted by a voice calling her name.
“Lyra there you are!”
Without turning her face away from Twilight, Lyra’s eyes shifted to the pony who addressed her. The moment she got a good look at the mare next to her Lyra’s unnerving grin was immediately replaced by the warm smile that she was most known for, while her creepy demeanor evaporated entirely.
“Bon-Bon! It’s good to see you sweetie,” said Lyra cheerfully. “How are things at the shop? Are you on a break?”
“Uh…yeah,” replied the cream colored mare. “Honey, why are you pinning Twilight against the stand? Twilight, is she bothering you?”
Lyra looked down at her hooves. They were indeed pushing Twilight’s shoulders against the newspaper stand, effectively restricting her movement. “Of course not Bon-Bon,” giggled Lyra as she turned her attention back to her marefriend. “Twilight and I are just having a friendly conversation.” The green unicorn immediately snapped her head back to Twilight. Her unsettling stare was back as if it had never left, and her eyes resumed boring into Twilight’s soul. “Isn’t that right, Sparkle?”
Twilight gave Bon-Bon a pleading look that said ‘Oh for the love of all that’s good in this world please help me!!!’
Bon-Bon stared at her marefriend quizzically until a look of realization spread across her features. She gave a loud, exasperated sigh. “I know what this is about. Lyra are you interrogating Twilight about that supposed ‘human’ we saw?”
“…maybe.”
“That’s it, you are coming home with me right now,” ordered the earth pony firmly. “I am so sorry about this Twilight. She’s been obsessed with whatever that was since yesterday”
“It’s okay,” squeaked Twilight nervously.
Bob-Bon grabbed Lyra’s tail with her teeth and began dragging her away from the terrified unicorn. Lyra did her best to resist, but unicorns rarely ever managed to overpower an earth pony in terms of brute strength and this was no exception. The green mare submitted herself to being dragged away by the love of her live without struggling. Unfortunately for Twilight, she did not go quietly.
“You can’t hide it forever Sparkle,” she laughed hysterically. “I know you have the human and I will find it.”
All eyes in the market trained themselves on the screaming unicorn as she was being towed away. Bon-Bon blushed in embarrassment at the unwanted attention and picked up the pace. Twilight didn’t move until the crazy unicorn’s cackling faded away entirely. When she finally managed to regain control of her breathing the lavender mare realized that her legs were shaking.
She took a few deep breaths to regain her composure and once she did, she immediately teleported to the library. Unfortunately for her, she was so shaken by the recent interrogation that she was unable to perform the spell correctly and was forced to gallop the last few blocks. When she arrived to her tree home, Twilight shook herself in order to get dry and entered the library.
She was both surprised and relieved to see that Princess Luna was in the room. The alicorn appeared to talking to Jorge, who had his helmet off and was listening attentively to whatever she was saying with the same stoic, yet somehow grim, expression he normally wore. Pinkie and Spike were still playing their board-game. Both their brows were furrowed in concentration and the dragon seemed to be sweating nervously. Twilight cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention.
“Twilight Sparkle there you are!” Luna said merrily. “We were waiting for you.”
“Sorry about that Prin- I mean, Luna. I was just getting some lunch.”
“Yeah speaking of that, what took you so long?” asked Spike grumpily. “I’m starving!”
“It’s a long story,” sighed the lavender unicorn. She pulled out the newspaper and gave Spike her saddle bag.
The little dragon grabbed the bag and rushed in to the kitchen to prepare lunch. “We’ll finish after lunch, ‘kay Pinkie?”
“Okie dokie lokie,” replied the party pony cheerfully.
Twilight turned her attention back to the Spartan and the Princess. “So what did I miss?”
“I was just telling Jorge the plan for the next couple of days,” explained the Princess. “My sister and I organized a schedule for how to reveal Jorge to the public over the course of the week. It is a very delicate matter so we’re going to have to do it gradually and carefully, especially because of some of the legends surrounding humans. I was just telling Jorge about them actually.”
“They’re not what I was expecting,” muttered the Spartan darkly. Judging from the resentment in his voice, Twilight assumed that they weren’t exactly what one would call complimentary.
“You’ll have to tell me about it later because right now we have a big problem.” As she said this, Twilight showed them the newspaper she had bought in the market.
Space Oddity Attacks Ponyville!!!
At roughly ten thirty pm on Sunday night, Ponyville became the stage for what many are calling the ‘Space Oddity.’ During a birthday party organized for the town’s beloved party expert, Pinkamina Diane Pie (also known as Pinkie Pie), held at Sweet Apple Acres, a bizarre phenomenon occurred. As most of the town was attending the event, the reports of the strange spectacle remain consistent. A bright flash of light in the sky resulted in an orb of energy appearing various feet from the ground. Ponyville’s librarian and magic expert Twilight Sparkle attempted to interact with the strange orb but was unable to do so.
Strangest of all however is the fact that, before disappearing, the sphere dropped what at first appeared to be a machine of some kind. This quickly proved false as the next morning the ‘machine’ destroyed the library and eye witness reports (full interviews on pg.3) suggest that the machine was actually some sort of creature. Many say that it bore an uncanny resemblance to a human (a creature of mythology prominently featured in minotaur lore but also appearing in dozens of pony legends). Whether or not the creature bears some resemblance to the mythological creature is still yet to be confirmed, as the beast was promptly transported to an undisclosed location by Miss Sparkle and has not been seen since.
The mystery becomes all the more suspicious as later in the evening of that same day, residents of the town reported loud crashing noises coming from the library. A detachment of Royal Guards came out of the building to keep ponies from entering and both Princesses made an appearance to assure the public that everything was under control; which only serves to raise speculation as to what occurred and whether or not there is a greater conspiracy involved. So what is happening? Was the ‘Space Oddity’ a product of some strange weather patterns? Is the creature really a human? Why do the Princesses want to keep this all secret? Is Equestria being invaded by aliens? To that last question this reporter says: most definitely. I for one welcome our new alien overlords.
“Glad to see your citizens are taking the news rationally,” snorted Jorge.
Luna glared at the Spartan. She didn’t like the human bad-mouthing her ponies. Yet at the same time she couldn’t help but agree with him. The rest of the article continued ranting about the possibility of an invasion and it was apparent that the town (or at least this reporter) was being rather hysterical about the whole affair.
“This is a problem,” sighed Luna. “We will have to move the reveal to an earlier date.”
“How much sooner?” asked Jorge.
“My sister and I will make the official statement tomorrow after I inform her of this development.”
“That’s…quite soon,” the human muttered uncertainly.
“We have no choice. The longer we let this fear fester and grow the more difficult it will be for the town to accept you, especially with all those legends about your people. We will hold a press conference in the town and you may say a few words or answer questions if you wish.”
“Fine,” conceded the Spartan. “And no, I don’t wish to make a speech. Now, you were saying something about getting me home?”
“Yes. I have requested that a team from Canterlot come here to examine the area where you landed. They should arrive in a few days, and when they do they will begin looking for any magical residue in the area to determine what spell may have dropped you here.” Luna shrugged. “It’s not much, but it’s a start at least.”
“Excuse me, I think I misheard. Did you say ‘magical residue?’”
“Yes, why?”
Jorge looked at the Luna as if she had gone insane. Talking ponies and minotaurs were one thing, but magic? That was utterly absurd. There was no such thing as magic and yet the Princess was talking about it as if there was. Worst of all she seemed dead serious about it.
“What’s the problem?” asked Luna noticing the look Jorge was giving her.
“There’s no such thing as magic,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“What!?” yelled Twilight. “How can you say that?”
“Easy, I just did.”
“But, saying there’s no such thing as magic is like saying that there’s no such thing as… gravity or something.”
“No, there’s a difference,” explained Jorge.
“What?”
“The difference being that gravity is real and magic is not.”
Twilight grounded her teeth in frustration. Magic was her entire life. It was her cutie-mark, her special talent. It was something that defined her. No, it went beyond that. It was a part of her. To have someone standing in front of her telling her that it wasn’t real was like being told that what made her special wasn’t real. She couldn’t help but feel a little insulted. At least she now had a better understanding as to why Pinkie Pie flipped out this morning.
Twilight levitated a book up to the Spartan’s face. “What do you call this then, huh?”
“A book,” he responded cheekily.
Twilight wanted to tear her mane out. Actually, now that she thought about it, what she really wanted to do was throw the book at Jorge’s head. “No, it’s magic!”
“No it’s telekinesis.”
“Well how do you think that works!?!”
“I don’t know, magnets maybe? Look, I honestly don’t know how you’re doing that,” Jorge sighed while he rubbed his eyes. “From what I’ve seen it’s apparent that you ponies are pretty naïve, and that’s fine. But you cannot tell me you are childish enough to believe that this is magic.”
Luna bristled at the insult and glared at Jorge. She was about to tell the human off but Twilight interrupted her.
“Oh yeah?” Twilight sent a wave of energy to the book. In a bright flash the piece of literature was transformed into a book shaped block of cheese. Why it turned into cheese the lavender unicorn had no idea, but she could care less at the moment. All that mattered to her was Jorge’s jaw, which had hit the ground after witnessing the transformation. “How’s that for magnets?” she asked, not even trying to hide the smugness in her voice.
Jorge didn’t answer. He just stared dumbly at the levitating dairy product in front of him. His brain was desperately trying to find some sort of rational explination for what just occurred but could find none. “How… how did you…”
“Gravity,” answered Twilight with a roll of her eyes.
Jorge poked the piece of cheese to confirm it was real. Varázslat, kibaszott varázslat. It really was magic! What else would he be able to call it? Twilight had just turned a book, paper and ink, into a solid block of edible cheese. Just to prove her point the unicorn broke off a piece of the food, popped it in her mouth, and started chewing vigorously. It was somewhat stale and had a bit of a dull flavor, but it was alright. Jorge said nothing throughout the whole show; he just continued gazing at the floating food in fascination. Finally, Jorge snapped himself out of his mesmerized state and forced himself to accept his situation. He came to the conclusion that if he overthought everything strange or alien about this world he risked going insane.
“New world, new rules,” he whispered to himself. “…a world with magic.”
“I take it that you don’t have magic where you come from?” asked Luna.
“No. It’s like everything else here, just fantasy.”
I’m starting to detect a pattern, thought Twilight. She shuddered slightly at the thought of living in a world with no magic. The concept was so… outlandish to her. She couldn’t even fathom what it would be like. “But wait, if you don’t have magic then how did you get here?”
“Technology.”
“But how-”
Jorge lifted his hand to interrupt Twilight. “Just trust me. It’ll take too long to explain and I don’t fully understand it myself.” He turned his attention to the Princess. “All you need to know is that it wasn’t magic, so whatever plan you had to send me back would probably not work.”
“Yes,” conceded Luna. “I can see that. I will have to inform my sister about this. This also means that, for now at least, we have no idea how to get you home.”
Upon hearing these words Jorge’s shoulders slumped involuntarily. His expression didn’t change but his eyes did. There was now a flicker of worry in them, almost fear even. Luna noticed the Spartan’s reaction and immediately motioned to rectify it.
“This does not mean we will not stop looking for a way. If you managed to arrive here then there has to be a way to send you back.”
Jorge didn’t say anything but continued to look at the floor dejectedly. After a few seconds he straightened himself and gave the Princess a firm and confident nod.
“Now that that’s settled, Twilight I have some great news!” exclaimed the Princess. “My sister and I have contracted a local architect and construction crew to repair your library. All expenses have been paid for.”
Twilight looked at the Princess in shock, as if she hadn’t registered what she was told. Then a huge, Pinkie-esk smile spread her face and she beamed at Luna. “Thank you so much Princess! You have no idea how relieved you’ve just made me.”
The alicorn giggled happily at Twilight’s reaction, overjoyed that she could help her sister’s student. “No thanks are necessary Miss Sparkle. After all, your home was the ground for an extra-terrestrial meeting and the subsequent battle. This is a matter that concerns all of Equestria and its neighbors, and as such it was only proper that we repay you for the damages. We actually offered a similar deal to Applejack but she came up with a much more… interesting and fair way to repair her barn.”
I have a bad feeling about that look, thought Jorge warily.
“Would you like to stay over for lunch Princess?” offered Twilight. “Spike should be done by now, and it’s the least I can do for you.”
“That would be lovely.”
The group entered the kitchen and sat down to eat. Pinkie Pie, who was writing something in a binder marked ‘Super-duper secret,’ joined them shortly. Luna had forgotten just how much damage she had done to the kitchen the night before and started apologizing profusely to Twilight. The purple unicorn waved her off and explained that everything was alright, especially since the Princess had paid to repair it anyways. Lunch was served by Spike shortly after.
The young dragon had outdone himself this time. Spike had made caramelized peppers stuffed with cheese and onions, all sprinkled with various herbs and spices to give it an enticing aroma. The group eyed the food ravenously and Pinkie was drooling so much her mouth practically became a waterfall. Everyone jumped in immediately (Pinkie Pike literally diving into the plate) and the food did not disappoint. A collective group of satisfied groans echoed through the dining room as everyone savored their meal. Jorge in particular was enjoying his food. It had been a long time since he had eaten anything other than standard military rations, and the fresh vegetables were a nice change. He may be a bit of a pain in the arse, but the lizard sure can cook.
Once everyone had finished eating and were patting their bellies in satisfaction, Luna turned to address the Spartan next to her. “So Jorge, I don’t have anything else planned for today. I honestly thought that our discussion was going to take longer. I am curious about your species and was hoping to… ask you more about where you came from…” More like strap you down to a table and interrogate you, thought Luna anxiously. She was very excited to learn more about Jorge and last night a part of her may have been serious about conducting the autopsy. Fortunately, Celestia convinced her to restrain herself for now, although she was admittedly finding it very difficult.
“…but that can wait. So would you like to go on a tour of Ponyville today instead?”
Jorge’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and it was a good thing Twilight wasn’t drinking anything else she may have performed a spit-take.
“Uh Princess, what about keeping Jorge secret?” asked Twilight.
“It will not be a problem, trust me,” answered Luna confidently. “So what do you say Jorge?”
Jorge thought about it for a moment. He didn’t really care much about the tour itself, but he was getting rather tired of being cooped up in the library all day. “Sure,” he answered with a shrug.
“Excellent,” said Luna happily. “Twilight, you will have to accompany us as I don’t know enough about Ponyville to give a proper tour. Now Jorge, I will be preforming a spell on you in just a second. Please do not be alarmed. I assure you everything will be fine.”
“Just don’t turn me into a piece of cheese.”
With that, Luna’s horn started to glow. It lasted a few minutes but when she was done Twilight gasped in surprise.
“Whoa,” exclaimed Spike.
“Neat!” cried out Pinkie.
Jorge looked around the room. He didn’t feel different and everything looked the same as far as he could tell. Then he glanced down at his hands. They were gone. So were his legs and his torso, everything was gone. Jorge could feel panic rising in the back of his throat. What did they do to me!?
“It’s an invisibility spell,” answered Luna quickly, as if she could read his mind. “Do not worry, everything is fine. It should wear off in an hour or two.”
Jorge continued staring at his non-existent hands. It wasn’t like using his armor’s active camouflage ability. That only gave the illusion of invisibility, turning him into a shimmering specter and making him translucent more than anything. What he was now was one-hundred percent genuinely invisible. It was a very odd sensation. It was almost…eerie? No, eerie wasn’t the right word. It was just different.
“You will have to stay close to me so we don’t lose you,” explained Luna. “And try to avoid bumping into any ponies, understood?”
Jorge gave a nod but remembered that they couldn’t see him. “Yes.”
“Alright then, let us go,” declared Luna as she walked out of the library’s entrance.
“Spike do you want to come with us?” asked Twilight.
The dragon shrugged. “Sure why not.” If it’ll get me out of doing my chores I’m up for anything.
“How about you Pinkie?”
“No thanks. I’ve got some things to take care of here.”
Twilight was surprised. She had assumed that Pinkie would jump at the chance to come with them. Strangest of all, she had something to do in the library. The unicorn was apprehensive to let Pinkie stay here on her own, but she quickly scolded herself for being so. Now that’s not fair. The library was fine when I came back from shopping, and Jorge will be with us so there won’t be any risk of her offending him. Besides, she’s taken care of the Cake’s twins before. She clearly can be responsible when she wants to be.
“Alright Pinkie, just be careful with the books.” And with that, Twilight followed the group outside.
The group had been wandering around Ponyville for the last couple of hours, making sure to give Jorge a thorough tour of what they believed was to be his new temporary home. The Spartan was surprised by how large the so-called ‘village’ was. Fortunately, during that time the rain had ceased and the sun returned, casting the town in a warm glow which brightened everypony’s moods considerably. While the streets were still unpleasantly muddy, it was no longer cold. The Spartan also noticed that the clouds hadn’t left on their own accord, but had actually been pushed by a group of pegasai with their bare hooves. He was about to ask his tour guide about it but opted not to. He was actually rather unfazed by it since it wasn’t the most bizarre thing he had seen that day. Honestly, it didn’t even crack his top ten.
During the tour, the human was forced to stay at Luna’s side the whole time so that they wouldn’t lose him. He also had to remain silent as to not attract any unwanted attention (somewhat redundant seeing as how he was walking with a member of royalty). While on their walk, Twilight had spent the entire time rambling about the historical significance of this or that building, and eventually Jorge learned how to tune her out. It was clear that she was having a great time giving a lecture to somebody who couldn’t interrupt her; and to anypony passing by it would appear as though the librarian was simply giving a tour to the Princess and not a giant inter-dimensional biped clad in armor.
As they weaved through the busy streets of the village, Jorge noticed that all of the residents they crossed paths with bowed respectfully to the Princess. Quite a few of them actually seemed afraid of her. He couldn’t help but scoff at this. It was clear that the alicorn was not as benevolent as she appeared, or at least this was what he thought until he got another good look at her. He was surprised to see that Luna was visibly uncomfortable by the ponies’ behavior, which confused him. Jorge was under the impression that kings and dictators practically basked in this kind of groveling, but this did not seem to be the case. He just chalked it up to another one of the many things he didn’t understand about the world and pushed the thought out of his mind.
Finally, after the sun had begun to set, the group slowly made their way out of Ponyville to the outskirts that lay southeast of the town. Jorge was told they were going to a place called ‘Sweet Apple Acres,’ an apple orchard and one of the largest farms in the area. He was also told that this farm was owned by none other than Applejack, and that they were going to discuss something with her. For some reason, Jorge didn’t like the sound of that.
When the group climbed the final hill that lay between the town and their destination, Sweet Apple Acres came into view. The human could see that calling the property ‘large’ was a gross understatement. Apple trees spread as far as the eye could see. It was an ocean of green, punctuated by dots of red. Jorge’s breath was actually taken away by the size and beauty of the orchard. The leaves were a deep green that accentuated just how healthy the vegetation was, and with the now cloudless sky as a backdrop the sight was really something. Sadly, Jorge only had a second to admire the view before he was ushered forward by Twilight and the Princess. The red barn that had stored him the other day came into view, and before long the group was standing right outside the structure.
“Applejack, are you here?” called out Twilight.
“Just uh second!” replied a voice coming from the barn.
Shortly after, Applejack exited the barn. Her orange coat glistened with sweat and parts of her body were splotched with some sort of dark grease. Most noticeably though were her eyes, which were tired and had bags under them.
“Applejack you look terrible!” said Twilight.
“Gee thanks.”
“No, what I mean is why do you look so tired?” Twilight’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Did you try bucking the entire orchard on your own again?”
“Naw, nothin’ like that Twi,” chuckled the cowpony. “I just had tah wake up earlier than normal tah fix some up some of the old equipment in the barn here. But anyways, where in tarnation is Jorge? Ah thought ya’ll were gonna bring him here so I could tell him?”
“Tell me what?”
Applejack nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the Spartan’s voice.
“Chill out Applejack,” laughed Spike. “Jorge’s right here. The Princess just made him invisible.”
“Uh… okay.” Applejack was a little disappointed. Half the reason she wanted to tell the human in person was to see the look on his face. Although the more she thought about it the more she realized it was probably for the best. The human was much less intimidating when invisible. “Anyways, ah got great news for you Jorge! Fer the next couple uh weeks yer gonna be workin’ for me on my farm.” The cowpony tried (and failed) to suppress a self-satisfied grin.
“Excuse me?” asked Jorge, not really comprehending what Applejack had just said.
“It’s true,” answered Luna. “Despite your circumstances, Jorge, you did break the law and have to be punished accordingly. Applejack here came with an appropriate solution. You work on her farm for a week and she won’t press charges. As for the library, well that was mostly our fault so we won’t hold you accountable for that.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then I will be forced to arrest you for destruction of property,” said Luna confidently. In truth was she was quite nervous. She knew she wouldn’t be able to arrest Jorge on her own (or even with the aid of her royal guards for that matter) so she was hoping that he would accept their terms. She was fully aware that it would probably take a lot of convincing on their part to get Jorge to concede. She was prepared for a long and arduous discussion in order t-”
“Okay.”
“Huh?” exclaimed Luna cleverly.
“I said ‘okay,’” repeated the Spartan grudgingly. As much as he hated the idea of being forced to work on this farm, it was better than risk getting thrown around some more by the ponies’...magic. Plus, seeing as how these ponies were probably his only hope of going home he wisely decided that it would be best not to piss them off.
“Oh. Well, that was easier than I expected. Okay then, I suppose we should head on back the library.”
“Hold on uh second Princess,” said Applejack. “Gimme fifteen minutes to shower and I’ll head on back with you.”
“Applejack why would you come to the library with us?” questioned Twilight.
“You know…cuz of the party at your place?”
“What party?”
“Pinkie came over here this mornin’ invitin’ me tah some sorta small dinner party she was throwin’ for us at yer library.”
“What!?” shouted Twilight indignantly. “She didn’t tell me about this!”
“Does that mean the party’s canceled?”
Twilight sighed and rubbed her eyes. “No. Knowing Pinkie she probably got everything set up already. Go take your shower and we’ll all go back together.”
While Applejack went inside to clean herself of, Luna excused herself. She went off into the trees to raise the moon, leaving Twilight, Spike, and the still invisible Jorge on their own. After fifteen minutes of awkward conversation, Applejack and the Princess both returned and the group headed back to Ponyville. Half-way there Jorge’s invisibility spell wore off but by then it was dark enough that he remained concealed, so the Princess decided not to waste any time conjuring another one. Still, the group picked up the pace after that.
Once they had arrived to the library, Twilight brushed aside the make-shift door and was the first to enter. The moment she walked in she could tell something was wrong. For one, the library was dark and she had expected Pinkie to be here. But there was something else… something in the air, similar to when she was wandering the Everfree on her own yesterday.
It’s quiet, she thought to herself as the others entered from behind. Too quiet… wait a minute! Twilight was suddenly struck with a horrifying realization. Something that Applejack had said earlier echoed in her head.
‘Pinkie came over here this mornin’ invitin’ me tah some sorta small dinner party she was throwin’ for us at yer library...’
‘…some sorta small dinner party she was throwin’…’
She couldn’t believe she didn’t realize it sooner. When Twilight had been told that Pinkie Pie was throwing a small dinner party at her library she assumed it was going to be a modest affair for just their friends. She had even come to like the idea, seeing it as an opportunity for Jorge to get to know them and try to forget lingering resentment from last night. But now that she thought about it she realized her terrible mistake. Pinkie’s parties were never small affairs, at least not by everyone else’s standards.
Before the unicorn could react she was blinded by the room’s lights suddenly turning on.
“SURPRISE!!!” shouted multiple voices from inside the library.
When Twilight’s vision cleared she got a good look at the foyer. There was a large banner hanging from the ceiling that read ‘Welcome to Ponyville (please don’t eat us) Jorge!!!’ Under said banner stood dozens of ponies, all staring at a now visible Jorge with their eyes wide and their mouths agape. Twilight did the only thing she could think of at a time like this…
Wow, I'm starting to run out of cliffs to hang this story from. Anyways, have some announcements!
First and foremost, as always I would like to thank BassTheBrony and Varocity for pre-reading. And I would like to especially thank my new pre-reader and Hungarian translator koroziwe, who has graciously agreed to help me edit the story.
Second, with regards to the armor abilities: Despite my better judgement I have decided to let you (Yes You!) choose which armor ability to give Jorge by voting in the comments. The options are:
There are very few times in recorded history where the Princess of the Moon (informally known as Luna) has ever put the life of one of her subjects at risk. Some of the more notable examples of these moments include:
Her transformation into Nightmare Moon, and threatening to plunge the Kingdom and the rest of the world into eternal night.
The first confrontation with Discord, in which the battle between him and the Princesses caused large amounts of collateral damage resulting in dozens of ponies being injured (although none were killed).
And finally, the last time she tried cooking; where six of the castle’s staff were given food poisoning and had to have their stomachs pumped, lest they be slain by the Princess’ cuisine.
As stated before however, these events were extremely uncommon. But as rare as the moments were, Luna was currently finding herself in such a situation. For you see, had the Princess not had a more important matter to address she would have been, at that moment, strangling the bearer of the Element of Laughter (informally known as Pinkie Pie) with the intent of snuffing all the life out of her. But, as stated previously, Luna was somewhat busy.
The party guests, who had jumped out in order to surprise what they had assumed would be a pony, were now all standing slack jawed, staring at Jorge. The giant alien biped for his part was looking back at the group with an equally surprised expression. In fact, the only ones who weren’t in a state of shock appeared to be Pinkie Pie, who was standing in the middle of the room looking expectantly at Jorge, and Twilight; who, despite having given herself a very nasty bruise, was continuously face-hoofing with the intent of killing herself out of frustration.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you asked) the moment of shock was quite brief, and before long ponies were slowly backing away from the Spartan and mumbling nervously among themselves. Luna could even see that some of the more skittish party guests were actually trembling and hyperventilating in fear. Realizing that it was only a matter of time before a full blown panic ensued, the Princess approached the nervous townsfolk with the hopes of calming them down.
“Fear not my little ponies,” she began in the most motherly tone she could muster, in an attempt to imitate her sister’s benevolence. But no matter how much she tried she could never do it just right. “Everypony just stay calm and I will explain. The situation is under control. There is no need to panic-”
“SHE SAID PANIC! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!” screeched a random, dark green earth pony.
What then occurred was probably one of the most bizarre things to ever happen in Ponyville’s library (and considering its history and its current residents, that’s really saying a lot). Some of the ponies in the library began screaming as they ran around flailing their forelegs like lunatics, while most simply retreated away from the human in a futile attempt to escape his supposed wrath. Luna was momentarily stunned by the green mare’s outburst and was left blinking in confusion for a few seconds, trying to process what was happening. Once she got over her stupor she proceeded to try and regain control of the situation by bellowing in the ‘Royal Canterlot Voice.’ Unfortunately, what she was actually saying was lost in the panic and all that could be heard was her unintelligible yelling; which only served to make everypony even more frightened and to make an already confusing situation all the more chaotic.
Applejack was trying to calm everypony down along with the Princess. The cowpony was shortly joined by Rarity and Rainbow Dash, both of whom had been a part of the welcoming committee but were now aiding the orange mare in trying to pacify the mob. Spike shrugged and joined the other ponies in the panic. Fluttershy, who had accompanied Rarity to the party, was so overwhelmed by all the noise that she rushed into the kitchen to try and find a place to hide. Twilight continued trying to give herself brain damage via excess face-hoofing. Pinkie Pie, who was oblivious to all the chaos around her, broke out into a song and dance routine welcoming Jorge to Ponyville. And all the while, the aforementioned human stood motionless in the center of all the chaos, just staring at the commotion that surrounded him. It was then that the Spartan came to a life altering conclusion. He was shocked that he hadn’t thought of it before, but now this realization hit him like a freight train. It was the kind of deep, philosophical discovery that one makes very few times in their life:
These ponies are fucking insane.
The ruckus continued for quite some time. Once Pinkie had finished her introduction for Jorge she joined the rest of the ponies in their irrational panic, thinking it was some sort of game. Luna continued shouting for everyone to calm down but it was no use. Just when she was about to give up, a loud *crack* of what sounded like thunder echoed throughout the library. It wasn’t much louder than everypony’s shouting, but the foreign sound was distinct enough to grab their attention and to get them to shut up. Everyone froze and stared at the source of the noise.
Jorge was standing right in front of the entrance like he had been before, except his arm raised and his ‘gun’ was in his hand. Luna could see that it was pointed towards the ceiling and that, strangest of all, a thin trail of white smoke was rising from it. The Spartan turned to face her.
“Your turn,” he grunted.
It took Luna a second to understand what he was saying, but she quickly realized that Jorge had made the library completely silent. Deciding that she should seize the opportunity before it passed, the alicorn began addressing the jumpy party guests again.
“*Ahem* as I was saying before I was interrupted…um…” What the heck was I saying? How am I supposed to explain this!? Luna’s mind was utterly blank. How was she supposed to explain the presence of a mythological beast to these ponies? Everything had fallen apart. Jorge was supposed to be revealed to the public via an official press conference, not through a surprise party! Nonetheless, she did the best she could. “Well… er… you see this is… uh… Jorge,” she muttered lamely as she waved her hoof towards the human, who was trying his hardest not to groan at Luna’s pathetic explanation.
Why can’t Celestia be here? thought Luna frantically. She was always better at this sort of thing. “He’s a human…and um…a royal guest to Equestria…or something. He’s going to be staying here in Ponyville until further notice.”
One of the guests, a gray pegasus stallion with a low cut mane, raised his hoof.
“Uh…yes?” asked Luna.
“He’s a human?”
Luna nodded.
“You mean those fictional creatures from children’s books? Those demons that burn down villages, attack ponies, and kidnap foals to eat them?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. Oh now I remember…uh oh. Applejack glanced uncertainly at Jorge while Spike backed away from the Spartan nervously. The human’s nostrils flared in anger. Luna had told him about ponies’ perceptions of humans earlier that day and he had felt deeply insulted by them.
Luna for her part had absolutely no idea how to respond to the stallion’s question without restarting the panic. She decided to just bite the bullet and hope for the best. “Uh…yes?”
As soon as the word left her mouth, the party guests all began freaking out again before being silenced a second time by Jorge’s gun.
That’s a second round I’ve had to piss away, he thought bitterly. The Spartan looked at Luna again, silently telling her to get her act together and resolve the situation. Despite the human’s helmet, she got the message.
“Alright let me start over,” she began again, this time with renewed confidence and vigor. “My little ponies, citizens of Ponyville, please remain calm. Allow me to introduce you to Jorge, the human I was mentioning. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted…again, he is my personal guest to Equestria and will not harm you. I expect you to treat him like any other citizen: with kindness and the utmost respect.” Fat chance of that. “The crown will make an official statement on the matter tomorrow, so please, go home. Tonight’s festivities are hereby cancelled.”
“OH NO YOU DON’T!!!”
Luna faced the source of the outburst. Standing at an advanced looking turntable in the back of the room, surrounded by a couple of speakers and a dozen bright lights, was an upset white unicorn with a blue mane and large purple sunglasses.
“Whatshisface…” began the white mare as she pointed accusingly at Jorge, “…already ruined a perfectly awesome party, and destroyed all my gear. I’m not gonna let him wreck another one. I’m gonna stay here, test my new equipment out, and party, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!”
Luna stared at the blue-haired disc jockey in disbelief. Is she being serious? The Princess asked herself incredulously. Unfortunately for her, the mare appeared to be very serious.
“Yeah!” chipped in Pinkie Pie from behind a table of snacks. “I spent hours trying to make sure this was the most stupendously aweswomerific party since last week’s most stupendously aweswomerific party. We can’t just cancel it. Do you want to be the biggest party-pooper in the history of Ponyville?”
Luna sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Fine, as long as you willingly want to continue your festivities I suppose I can permit all those who wish to stay to resume the party. Everypony else, you may leave.”
“Wait! Don’t I get a say in thi-?”
Before Twilight could finish speaking, a surge of bodies began flooding out of the library. Not one of the party guests failed to glance nervously at Jorge before exiting. Once everypony who decided to leave was no longer in the building, Luna looked at those who remained. While there were less than half the original number of party guests, the Princess was shocked by how many had actually chosen to stay. Still, those brave enough to remain continued to stare nervously at Jorge, almost unsure as to whether they wanted to leave or not. Sensing everyone’s trepidation, Pinkie Pie hopped into the middle of the room.
“Alright everypony,” she exclaimed happily. “Let’s get this party started!”
And just like that, everybody loosened up and started moving around the room to socialize with the other guests. DJ Pon-3 also helped ease the tension by playing some music and turning on a few of her strobe lights. Before long, part of the library’s foyer had become a small, makeshift dance-floor. Luna apologized to Twilight and her companions, explaining that she had to leave and discuss the new turn of events with her sister. After she departed, the girls all dispersed around the room and began having a good time at the party. The only person in the room who was not enjoying himself was Jorge. Despite the eased tension all the ponies opted to maintain some distance from the Spartan, who was more than happy to oblige by staying away from them as well.
The soldier grumbled to himself as he made his way towards the basement in the hopes that he could get away from the loud noise and all the irritating ‘horses.’ He was about to walk through the doorway of the sublevel, when he was stopped by Pinkie Pie materializing in front of him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked him without breaking her grin.
“Downstairs,” he answered gruffly.
“But you can’t go downstairs. This is your party.”
Jorge looked over his shoulder. There was a considerably large space between him and any of the guests, who were happily ignoring his presence. “Yes, I can see that,” he replied dryly.
“Oh come on. Don’t be so grumpy. Do you want to dance?”
“I don’t dance.”
“Play pin the tail on the pony?”
“No.”
“Talk to anypony?”
“No.”
“Bob some apples?”
“No.”
“Play twister?”
“No.”
“Play hide-and-go-seek?”
“No.”
“Go downstairs into the dark basement so that you could be all alone?”
“No. Wait… I mean, yes” Shit.
Pinkie smiled mischievously at Jorge. “You said no first, so that means that you want to stay here!”
Jorge groaned. He could feel a headache creeping into his skull. He prayed that it was that hemorrhage he had been thinking about earlier. Maybe if I’m lucky it’ll kill me. “Goodnight Pinkie.” Jorge pushed past the party pony and began making his way downstairs again. Pinkie latched on to his right leg and started being dragged by the Spartan.
“But you can’t leave!” she pleaded. “You’re the guest of honor! You have to stay! Please! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-”
“ALRIGHT!” bellowed the Spartan. “If I stay, will you shut up and stop bothering me?”
Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically.
The Spartan sighed. “Fine.”
“YAY!!!”
“But, I’m not going to dance or play any games… or interact with anyone in any way for that matter. I just want to be left alone. Understood?”
“That’s not very fun,” said Pinkie with a frown.
“Take it or leave it.”
Pinkie continued to frown at Jorge before sighing. “Okie dokie,” she murmured without any enthusiasm. With that, the pink pony hopped off to another part of the room, leaving the Spartan on his own. Jorge made his way to the quietest corner of the library. He sat down and removed his helmet, which elicited a few more nervous glances from the party quests. The human just frowned and brooded over whether or not pink would become his new least favorite color. If he continued to spend time around Pinkie Pie, it would soon be a looming possibility.
Jorge just sat there, staring at the scene in front of him. He scoffed to himself. These ponies were undoubtedly a pain in the ass. They were loud, hysterical, somewhat xenophobic, brightly colored, and above all else, too damn cheerful. And yet, there something refreshing about them. Perhaps it was their naiveté. After spending so much time surrounded by death and destruction, Jorge found something cathartic in their childlike innocence. Before he could ponder on the subject any further, he was interrupted by a voice from his right.
“Excuse me Mr. Jorge. May I join you, or am I intruding?”
Jorge turned his head and was surprised to see a certain white unicorn smiling politely at him. “Suit yourself,” he grunted, not too happy about being bothered.
Rarity gave a small nod and sat down next to him. “I would simply like to apologize to you for yesterday’s events. Even though you destroyed the library, we were being quite rude.”
Jorge said nothing. He just continued to stare straight ahead, ignoring the dressmaker in the hopes that she would get the message and go away. She did not.
“I mean, yes you are a frightening sight, yes you unabashedly caused thousands of bits worth of property damage, yes you slapped Rainbow Dash in the face, yes you brutally attacked our beloved Princesses without any regards for-”
“Do you have a bloody point?”
Rarity flinched at Jorge’s language. “But, in retrospect you were probably just scared and acting out of instinct. We were completely at fault.”
Yeah, I was real scared of a group of colorful talking ponies, thought Jorge sarcastically. Végtig megrémült.
“I also apologize for this little situation we caused here,” explained the dressmaker as she waved her hoof towards the party in front of them. “The girls and I were given to understand that Twilight and the Princess had known about the whole affair. We had also assumed that the town had been informed about your presence.”
“What about the banner?” asked Jorge. “’Please don’t eat us?’”
Rarity chuckled nervously. “Pinkie has a… eccentric sense of humor. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”
I hope that, for the sake of my sanity, I’m not stuck here for that long, thought Jorge. “Do you want something?”
Again, Rarity cringed at Jorge’s bluntness. “Actually there was something I wanted to ask you about…”
Of course there is.
“…I wanted to ask you about your attire.”
My armor? “My armor?”
“Oh yes!” stated Rarity enthusiastically. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” Rarity moved in closer to the human and began inspecting his suit. “It’s quite fascinating really. You see, I’m a dressmaker. A ‘fashionista’ if you will. Perhaps you’ve heard of some of my work.”
“I can’t say I have. Besides, I don’t think you’d be too interested in it. It’s just armor, not a fashion statement.”
Rarity gasped in shock. “Just because it’s not a conventional article of clothing, doesn’t mean it can’t be fashionable. After all, one must strive to look their very best at all times.” As she said this, Rarity shook her hair back, fluttered her eyelashes, and struck a fashionable pose. “Look at your color for example.”
“My color?”
“Yes, your color. What possessed you to choose orange for you armor?” Rarity couldn’t help but be a little disgusted at the suit’s color palate.
Jorge’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know. I guess I liked it.”
“But orange darling?” drawled the unicorn. “It’s so… kitsch. Believe me, I know about these sorts of things. You know what would look simply divine instead? A nice, light shade of purple; perhaps violet.”
Jorge gritted his teeth. “I hadn’t thought of that,” he growled.
Rarity nodded sagely. “You’ll have to come down to my boutique tomorrow to get that fixed, I insist. But in any case, I was wondering if you could tell me anything about it.”
Jorge hesitated. Anything regarding a Spartan’s MJOLNIR was strictly classified. He was quite reluctant to share any information with the self-proclaimed dressmaker. It’s not like they’re going to use any of this knowledge though, Jorge reasoned. What are they going to do, recreate their own Mark Fives? This thought brought up images of ponies clad in their own version of Jorge’s battle armor. The idea struck Jorge as hilarious, and he almost grinned at the thought.
The Spartan looked down at the unicorn in front of him. He was surprised to see she was looking at him with an expression akin to that of a begging puppy. This strategy may have worked with a weaker willed human, but not with the battle-hardened super-soldier. Still, Jorge decided to concede. Perhaps if he satisfied her curiosity she would go away and leave him alone. He was still going to be quite selective of the information he would share with the pony though, just in case.
“Alright. But I’m warning you that I don’t know much about the technical aspects of my armor; just the basics.” This was a lie, and rather blatant one at that. While it was true that most Spartans didn’t have very extensive knowledge of the most detailed mechanical and robotic aspects of their armor, every Spartan knew their MJOLNIR like the back of their hands, more so even. Their armor was like a second skin, and as such Spartans needed to know almost every minute detail about it. But feigning ignorance would help avoid some questions that Jorge would rather not answer.
“Oh it’s perfectly all right,” said the unicorn. “I’m not much of a blacksmith myself. I’m just rather curious, is all. I enjoy learning about all kinds of clothing.”
“Alright. My armor is called a MJOLINIR Mark Five. It is the fifth, and latest, in the MJOLINIR series of armor, or exoskeletons to be precise. It’s a very advanced piece of equipment. It is both versatile and almost impossible to penetrate. The armor is composed of multiple layers, including an outer alloy shell with a refractive coating. Under this first layer is a coat of a reactive liquid metal which is woven into a super dense optical computer memory… Am I going too fast for you?”
Rarity frowned; she had absolutely no idea what Jorge was talking about. Regardless, she continued to listen politely to Jorge’s explanation. “It’s…alright.”
“I suppose I could just skip the technobabble and explain some of the more prominent features.”
“What sort of features?”
“The Mark Five has a special port in the back which allows a module to be stored,” explained Jorge. “These modules give the armor added features and abilities.”
“How interesting. What kind of abilities?”
“All sorts. One module gives the wearer the ability to create a temporary shield. Another allows the wearer to create a decoy…”
“Do you have one of these ‘modules?’” asked Rarity.
Jorge nodded.
“Well what does it do?”
“My armor ability allows me to-”
“Uh, ‘scuse me for interuptin’, but can ah talk tah Rarity fer a minute?”
Both Jorge and the white unicorn turned to see a nervous looking Applejack standing in front of them. The cowpony refused to make eye contact with Rarity, and instead opted to stare at the ground and paw it shyly. A light blush tinted her cheeks and she was biting her lip nervously.
“Why of course Applejack,” replied the dressmaker with a smile. “What do you need?”
Applejack glanced nervously at Jorge. “Actually I was… uh… hopin’ that we could talk in… p-p-private.” Her voice cracked slightly at the last word.
Rarity was a little confused at her friend’s behavior but agreed nonetheless. “Sure darling, it won’t be a problem.” She turned to face the human. “I ‘m sorry Jorge, but it appears that you will have to tell me some other time.”
The Spartan said nothing. He remained motionless as he watched the two mares wander off to another part of the room. He didn’t mind being interrupted, in fact, he welcomed it. Jorge let out a tired sigh. He really didn’t want to be at this party, and he really didn't want to be in Equestria. He was supposed to be on Reach, fighting the war. That was his duty.
Jorge was about to stand up and head downstairs, Pinkie Pie be damned, when he began to hear a very heavy breathing next to his right ear. It was a shallow, erratic panting. The kind one gets after exhausting one’s self. The human slowly turned his head and came face to face with a mint green unicorn. The pony’s eyes were wide with excitement, and her pupils had shrunk to the point where they were nearly invisible. She was smiling a grin that was normally reserved for mentally unbalanced serial-killers when they spotted their prey, and her crazed look suggested that she wasn’t the most stable of individuals. It was here that Jorge came to his second life altering realization:
These ponies can be fucking creepy.
“Can I help you?”
Upon hearing Jorge’s voice, the unicorn shook excitedly. This only served to put him even more on edge.
“You can talk?” she squeaked
Jorge didn’t answer. He just continued eyeing the mysterious unicorn with apprehension.
“I knew you were real,” she whispered to herself. “I told them, but they didn’t believe me. They said I was crazy. But who’s crazy now huh? WHO’S CRAZY NOW!?!” The mare began cackling hysterically and, just like at the market earlier, all eyes in the room turned towards her. Jorge said nothing throughout her little triad. When she was finally done she resumed gawking at the human.
“I’ve been studying your species for as long as I can remember,” she breathed. “I have so many questions.”
“Okay…” responded Jorge slowly. “Like…?”
The unicorn froze. Her eyes widened and her mouth lowered somewhat. Despite having spent her entire life studying his species, Lyra really couldn’t think of a single thing to ask Jorge now that the opportunity presented itself. She continued to look at Jorge dumbly. It was a moment worthy of a Twilight face-hoof and Jorge was tempted to perform a face-palm himself. Lyra just continued to stare at the human in shock, almost as if she couldn’t believe that she couldn’t think of even one question to ask the very subject of her lifelong obsession “Um… so… what’s it like to be… er human?” she finally mumbled pathetically.
Jorge rubbed his eyes in frustration. “What’s your name?”
“L-Lyra.”
“Right then, ‘Lyra’. How about leave, think of some questions, and then come back.” Just go away and leave me alone, te kis idegesitő seggfej.
Lyra immediately perked up. “Great idea! I’ll head back home and ask my marefriend Bon-Bon. She came to the party with me but decided to leave after you showed up for some reason. Oh I know! I’ll go get my notebook that I made about you guys. That’s sure to have something.”
Lyra rushed out the front door and hurried back to her home as fast as her legs could carry her.
Jorge was left gaping at the doorway, dread quickly lurking into his mind. Notebook? This is going to bite me in the arse later isn’t it? He put his helmet back on and prepared to go downstairs again. Well, at least I don’t have anybody bothering me anymore…
“So you’re the dick who wrecked my sound system.”
…son of a bitch!
The white disc jockey known as DJ Pon-3 was standing a few feet from Jorge, glaring at him. Or at least he thought she was glaring. It was hard to tell because of the purple glasses she was wearing. Holy hell, these ponies have more purple than the Covenant! The Spartan’s jaw clenched instinctively at the sight of the color.
“Who the buck do you think you are?” demanded the unicorn. “Coming inta my town and destroying my stuff.”
“I’m sorry,” grunted Jorge. Another blatant lie.
“Yeah? Well ‘sorry’ ain’t gonna pay for my new sound system.”
Jorge scowled at the unicorn. He had reached his daily quota of shit he was willing to take from these ponies, and was getting rather tired of them and all their unwanted attention. He stood up, revealing his true height in the hopes of intimidating the unicorn. The white mare just stood her ground and returned his glower with equal intensity. The human lowered himself to eyelevel with her, leaned in close, and brought his face mere centimeters away from hers. “Well then,” he snarled. “What are you going to do about it?”
Both the pony and the human were left glaring at each other. Each could see their reflection on the other’s head wear. The DJ saw her purple shades reflected in an orange tint on the Spartan’s visor, while he could see his helmet reflected in purple on her glasses. Neither moved nor dared to breath. After some time, the white unicorn tilted her head quizzically and Jorge imitated the motion at almost the exact same time. For some reason, the DJ found this hysterical, for it caused her to suddenly burst out laughing which caught the human off guard.
“I like you,” she laughed as she punched Jorge’s shoulder. “You’re alright. What’s your name?”
“Jorge.”
“Well Jo I’m-”
“Jorge”
“Ah same difference,” said the pony with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “The names Vinyl Scratch, just call me Vinyl. Anyways, I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Welcome to Ponyville and all that jazz.”
Vinyl sauntered back towards her equipment, ready to start playing another song, when she stopped and turned around to face Jorge one last time. “Oh, and you still owe me for my new gear.” And with that, the DJ headed back to the turntables to liven up the party. Jorge was left staring at where Vinyl had been standing. It was here that Jorge had his third and final life changing conclusion of the night:
These ponies are fucking strange.
Jorge looked around the room. The night was still young, and ponies of all colors were dancing and socializing all throughout the library. The soldier was surprised to see that a couple of the quadrupeds appeared to be drunk. These ponies were swaying around the room, laughing loudly and holding large mugs of some sort of beer in their hooves. Yesterday Jorge may have questioned how they were possibly doing that without the aid of fingers; but, as stated earlier, it was not the strangest thing he had seen that day. That dubious honor went to a store he had seen on his tour of the town which only sold quills and sofas (Jorge was still confused as to how a species that had to ability to change matter with nothing but their minds had yet to invent something as simple as pens).
He inspected his immediate surroundings to make sure that no one else was going to bother him and was relieved to see that this was not the case. Well that’s enough excitement for one night.
The human made his way back to the basement and this time managed to arrive without interruptions. Lying down in the same place as the night before, he played some music to try and block out the noise coming from upstairs. With the help of the music gently playing in his ears, Jorge was able to drift off to sleep much easier than he had the previous evening. But, once again, dreams of violence and death were all that greeted him that night.
The doors of the town hall burst open and out poured a stream of ponies, all making their way out of the building. It was early Wednesday morning, and the town was just as lively as ever. Perhaps more so thanks to recent days' events. These ponies leaving the government building were all reporters heading off to their respective news outlets, ready to print what was widely considered to be the story of the century. Meanwhile, inside the hall, two alicorns were standing behind a pair of podiums, wearily watching the last of these ponies leave the building. Once they were sure that the last of the reporters had left, the older one of the two, a white pony with a rainbow colored mane, turned to face her younger sister. “Well…that could have gone better.”
The younger sister gave a tired huff. “That’s an understatement. I can’t believe we had to spend two hours, two WHOLE hours, assuring them that Equestria wasn’t being invaded by aliens! Seriously Tia, how do you stand these things?”
Celestia gave a tired chuckle. “You get used to them. Besides, it wasn’t as bad as in some of the other cities. I’m never doing a press conference in Manehatten ever again,” she muttered to herself.
“I just don’t understand why you had to drag me along,” whined her younger sibling.
“Luna, you are my sister and a ruler of a nation,” explained Celestia in a lecturing tone. As such, it is your duty to address the population on such matters.” The white alicorn gave her sister a playful smirk. “Besides, I needed some way to get back at you for that dominatrix comment from last night.”
“I knew it!”
Celestia chuckled heartily at her sister’s reaction. It was just what she needed after such a stressful morning. “You are right though. Our ponies were being a little… excited.”
Luna snorted. “That’s one way to put it.”
“How is our guest by the way?”
“I don’t know,” sighed Luna. “I haven’t seen him since last night. I hope he had a pleasant time at the party. Although, judging from his attitude, that’s not very likely.”
“He is rather introverted,” stated Celestia ponderously.
“He was also upset at some of the myths regarding his people.”
“I’m not surprised. Anyways, I suppose I will be seeing you in a few days. Help him establish himself and then come back to Canterlot to help finding a way to send him back.”
“Excuse me!? What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t I tell you the plan?” asked Celestia.
“It must not have crossed your mind,” replied Luna accusingly, her voice laced with suspicion.
“I am going back to Canterlot to settle some affairs there while you stay here and help Jorge get acclimatized.”
“Why do I have to stay?”
“I thought you wanted to learn more about him?” inquired Celestia, quite puzzled at her sister’s reaction.
“Well…it’s just…he makes me a little nervous,” admitted Luna. “Besides, what is it that you have to do in Canterlot that is so important?”
“Luna, we’re talking about a human,” explained her older sister. “A living, breathing myth. This concerns the rest of the world and most of its races. Think about how prominent they are in Zebra and Griffin mythology. And do I even need to mention the minotaurs? Honestly, I think the only people that don’t feature them in a part of their lore are the buffalo, and even they’ve heard of them to some degree. I will have to inform the other nations about this immediately. Do you really want to deal with that?”
Luna frowned. The other nations still resented her for almost bringing about eternal night. Some had even accused Celestia of fabricating the nightmare as a way to protect her sibling, and this made visiting embassies rather awkward. The only nation that had truly forgiven her had been the Zebras. “Very well,” she sighed. “But how am I supposed to learn more about him if he’s barely even willing to talk.”
“Take him out to lunch.”
Luna gave her sister her best ‘are you serious?’ look.
Celestia shrugged. “Who knows, it might be good for you. When was the last time you went on a date with a stallion?”
Luna blushed slightly. “This is for that whole ‘kiss already’ thing, isn’t it?”
The white alicorn gave her sister a sly wink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about~” she sang as she skipped out of the hall.
“Oh yeah? Two can play at this game, Trollestia.
The Princess of the sun froze. She slowly turned around to face her sister. Her eyes narrowed an ice cold expression. “For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“Just as well. I remember that you didn’t like that one nearly as much as that other nickname. What was it again?”
“Lulu.”
“You know the one. It began with an ‘M…’”
“I’m warning you Luna.”
“…it was started by that really pleasant guard a few thousand years back; the one who claimed he had slept with you…”
“Luna, you’re skating on thin ice here.”
“Oh, now I remember. Molesti-”
“DAMMIT LUNA! I swear by Tartarus that if you utter even one more syllable you will not leave this room alive!” hissed the sun Princess in a voice that could freeze stars. If looks could kill then Luna would have been the second pony in the history of Equestria to be caught in the epicenter of a thermonuclear blast.
“Oh Tia, you’re so easy,” giggled Luna as she nuzzled her sister’s neck. “I missed this,” she murmured happily.
Celestia tried to keep her angry expression but it quickly proved futile. She sighed and returned her sister’s affection. “I did too,” she replied quietly with a small smile.
“Whatever happened to that guard by the way?”
“Let’s just say, that he spent his last few years of service in the place that would make the moon look pleasant. I can’t believe you still remember that though. It happened more than one thousand years ago.”
“One does not forget these things, dear sister.”
Both Princesses walked out of the town hall and were relieved to find that most of the reporters had left already. As expected, Celestia’s guards were as punctual as ever and they were already waiting outside with a carriage to take the Princess back to Canterlot.
“Goodbye Lulu,” whispered Celestia as she gave her sister a final nuzzle. “Please be careful. I still don’t trust this human.”
“Don’t worry sister, I will. Have fun with all the ambassadors.”
Celestia entered her carriage. As the vehicle began ascending the white alicorn stuck her head out of the window to call out to Luna. “Good luck sister! I’ll see you soon.”
Luna gave her older sibling a wave. “Thanks Tia.” As she watched the carriage fly off towards Equestria’s capital, Luna sighed and lowered her gaze. I’m going to need all the luck I can get.
The walls of the hangar were dripping with blood. All around the docking bay the entrails of slain soldiers were strewn about in a macabre tapestry, detailing the events that had unfolded within the room’s confines. The corpses of dozens of human troops, all clad in their own MJOLNIR armor, were lying still among the ship’s equipment. Some of the bodies were whole, but most were torn apart, shredded by some unknown force. Amid all the carnage stood a single solider, gazing sleepily upon the scene in front of him. Before him stood a Pelican with a large white device attached to its rear. Said device was devoid of any writing or electronics save for a large crimson button protruding from its side.
To his right was a large window which revealed a black expanse of nothingness. Thousands of small white dots punctuated the darkness, and in the center of it all there floated a massive, turquoise sphere. This planet hung delicately in the void. Its waters mirroring the white clouds and hurricanes that floated over its surface, while its lush vegetation carpeted its continents entirely.
The soldier turned his head and saw the planet for what felt like the first time. He wanted to be still, staring at its beauty for all of eternity; refusing to tear his eyes away until he withered away and became dust in the wind. Yet he knew that could not be. With great difficulty, the soldier looked back at the machine in front of him, his duty. He slowly raised his hand and extended his finger. All the while, his heart was thumping rhythmically in his chest.
But the closer his finger got to the button, the heavier his arm felt. Gradually, the sound of the soldier’s heart thumping was replaced by a voice whispering in his ear. It was soft and sweet, like the gentle murmurs of a lover in the early morning. Yet, for reasons unbeknownst to him, the soldier found it deeply haunting.
“Ollyolly oxen free,” the voice whispered over and over.
The soldier had no idea what the phrase meant. It sounded familiar though. Like a distant memory, perhaps from his youth. Still, he ignored the soft voice and concentrated at the task at hand. He attempted to move his arm but it had frozen in place. No matter how much he tried it would not budge. And all the while the voice continued to whisper those four words, slowly getting louder. Sweat poured down the soldier’s brow as he tried to force himself to push the button while the voice screamed in his ear.
“Ollyolly oxen free.”
“Ollyolly oxen free.”
“Ollyolly oxen free!”
The solder jerked back his arm and spun around. That was when he first really noticed the butchery that surrounded him. His eyes widened in horror as he realized that the piles of lifeless flesh that were haphazardly thrown around the hangar had the faces of people he knew. Friends, family, brothers and sisters were all staring at him with lifeless eyes. The soldier whipped his body around towards the mirror. The planet, which had once been beautiful, had become a ball of charred rock and ash. Fires raged all along its surface, turning it into glass.
“Ollyolly oxen free, all out in the free, we’re all free.”
The soldier screamed.
Jorge bolted upward. He looked around the room frantically, his eyes darting around in his skull in an attempt to examine every inch of his surroundings. When he finally discerned that he was still in the basement of the library he managed to calm himself. He was still panting however, and his body was covered in sweat. Oh god, what the hell was that?
After a moment, he was able to regain control of his breathing. The Spartan sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. “That was new,” he groaned to himself. He stood up to stretch a few minutes later, and by then his nightmare had become a distant blur. But while the details of his dream had been forgotten, the feeling of terror had not. To try and push these thoughts out of his head the Spartan began inspecting his arsenal.
His knife was as sharp as ever and the pistol was working smoothly. Jorge had almost already gone through one of his four magazines so he steeled himself to use what little ammunition that remained more sparingly. He removed the last bullet in his nearly empty magazine, placed it in one of his suit’s pockets, and loaded his pistol with a fresh clip. His two frag grenades appeared fine. The real problem came when he was inspecting the plasma grenade.
There was a small, hairline fracture on the blue sphere. The crack was on what seemed to be the grenade’s timer. While it wasn't very long, Jorge could tell it went deep. “Hát ez egy probléma,” he muttered in his native tongue. “Must’ve happened during the scuffle with the Princesses.” Jorge was Noble Team’s heavy weapons expert, and while more familiar with human weaponry he probably had more knowledge on Covenant arms than almost any other human alive. But for all his expertise, he had no idea how the damage might affect the grenade. Not wanting to risk carrying an explosive that could spontaneously go off on his person, he did the best thing he could think of: he hid it deep in the darkest, oldest, dustiest, most secluded bookshelf of the library.
Just until I figure out to deal with you effectively, he thought as he placed the plasma grenade on the shelf.
With that business concluded Jorge climbed up the stairs, all the while thinking about his nightmare. However, these thoughts were completely shattered when he saw the state of the library. To put it bluntly: It was a mess. To put it realistically: It appeared as though Pinkie had been given a mixture of coffee and some sort of energy drink (by a very evil person obviously) and had shot a least a couple hundred party cannons within the span of a few minutes. All after a tornado and a hurricane had hot, rough sex in the middle of the kitchen. After an all-night rave composing solely of dragons (and fueled by alcohol and bad decisions) had been organized.
Jorge could only marvel at the state of the room. Empty plastic cups and glasses littered every surface of the floor. Streamers still hung from the ceiling, as did a various flowers, some horseshoes, a saddle, a pineapple, what appeared to be a toilet seat, and…
Lingerie? I thought these horses didn’t wear clothes.
The snack table was covered in chips, sodas and pastries. The walls were splattered with cake and not a single piece of furniture was left un-flipped. Someone had left the sink in the kitchen on and water was spewing all over the floor. A few inflatable toys and balloon animals were even floating around the hall. Jorge correctly assumed that Pinkie must’ve had something to do with the latter.
Okay, so apparently ponies party hard…that sentence sounded strange.
“Hey! Where… where did all the nice ponies go?”
Jorge turned towards the kitchen just as a purple pony with a mug of that strange beer from last night stumbled through the doorway.
“It was…like…FULL of ponies a second ago…” slurred the mare. Without looking at where she was going, the mysterious drunk tripped over one of the empty cups on the floor and careened into the Spartan. “W-who… who put this here?” she muttered as she rubbed her nose. After doing a bit of incoherent grumbling, the purple pony looked up to find a large human staring down at her in amusement from behind his helmet.
“Hey, your that human type thing from earlier aren’t you!?” exclaimed the mare merrily. “Wanna *hic* drink.”
“No thanks.”
“Suit yourself, more for me.” The purple earth pony took a swig of her drink and emptied the nearly full mug immediately. “So what’s yer name sexy.”
Jorge shook his head and grinned. He didn’t know why, but he found the whole concept of these supposedly innocent ponies getting drunk wholly amusing. “Jorge.”
“Well, the name’s Berry Punch… I make wine!” she shouted suddenly.
“Really, wine?”
“Course, don’t you *hic* don’t you see my cutie mark?” Berry Punch pointed to her the grapes on her flank.
Jorge leaned in to get a better look. Cutie mark?
“You can stare at it fer as long as you like,” she whispered seductively. “SO! Waddaya think?”
“What do I think of what?”
“Of me. You like what you see? Am I hot?”
“I…wouldn’t know.”
“Ah yer too kind,” said Berry Punch with a wave of her hoof. “You ain’t so bad yerself. Not like that jerk…whatshis face again? Thunderlane! That’s it. You know what he said to me? I’m gonna tell you what he said to me.”
“Actually I’m not interest-”
“He said I was fat!!!” screeched the mare indignantly. “Can you believe it? Then he had the nerve to ask me to suck his…”
Jorge sighed as Berry Punch continued to ramble about her failed courtship. I should have realized that a drunk pony would probably enjoy talking as much as a drunk trooper. He looked down to see that the purple pony had gotten really engrossed in her tale.
“…and then he kept insisting that that t-that I lick his ice-cream cone. I mean, where did he even get ice-cream at that time!?! So then I says…”
Jorge groaned. This is going to take a while.
Twilight groaned. That took a while.
The lavender unicorn’s head was pounding. Her muscles were sore and her throat was so dry it hurt. In short, she felt like death.
I’m never drinking with Applejack or Rainbow Dash again. The night before, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash decided to introduce their hermit of a friend to alcohol the best way they knew how: by challenging her to a drinking contest.
The result?
It took her half an hour to sum up enough energy to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom. As she stared at the mirror in front of her, what looked back was a creature that may or may not have been a monster from a popular children’s book.
Twilight’s eyes were completely bloodshot. Her hair was disheveled into an unrecognizable mess, while her coat was wild and crusted with try sweat. With much effort and moaning, the unicorn dragged her sorry flank into the shower and was greeted by a torrent of ice cold water. After a brief bout of swearing, Twilight changed the water to a more acceptable temperature, finished showering, dried off, and stumbled back into her room. Next to her night stand laid a scroll bearing the royal seal and a small note. Twilight levitated the piece of paper up to her eyes.
Dear Twilight,
The Princess sent you a late night letter…again. Couldn’t wake you.
-Spike
The lavender mare looked over to Spike’s basket to find the small dragon tucked away within its sheets, snoring contently. Well, at least he didn’t wake me up.
Twilight moaned yet again and massaged her temples. Coffee…need coffee.
She made her way down the stairs and walked into her foyer to find Jorge, sitting on the floor, reading and calmly sipping something from a teacup, while talking to a purple pony who Twilight recognized as Berry Punch.
“So then I says: well then, why don’t be just build an ice-ream maker!” slurred the purple pony. “Then he says…”
Twilight could not comprehend what was happening at that moment. She didn’t know what shocked her more, Jorge and Berry Punch, or the state of the library. Overwhelmed what she was witnessing before her, the purple unicorn could do little more than just stand and gaze upon the scene with an unhinged jaw. After a few minutes the drunken pony rambling off to Jorge noticed Twilight standing at the top of the stairs.
“Hey! It’s sparkle butt,” she hiccupped happily. “How you doin’? I was just talking to ol’ Jorge here. Ain’t that right Jorge?” The human said nothing. He simply continued to read the book in his hands, ignoring everything around him.
“Anyways Sparky, do you know where I could find a giant tub of chocolate syrup? Cuz I need to-”
Thankfully for Twilight, Berry Punch chose that moment to fall flat on her face, blacked out from the copious amounts of alcohol she had consumed. Jorge looked down from his book towards the unconscious pony. “I thought she’d never stop talking.” The human then turned his attention to the still flabbergasted unicorn in the room. “Good morning,” he said before taking a sip of his drink.
“How…what…huh?” stuttered Twilight.
Jorge ignored the unicorns stammers “Do you know her?” he asked pointing to Berry.
Twilight sighed. “Yes. Pretty much everypony in town knows Berry Punch. She’s fairly notorious for her antics.”
“What do we do with her?”
“I’ll just tell her roommate Colgate to come pick her up. She’s pretty used to it by now. What are you drinking?”
Jorge took another sip from the cup. “Mint tea. I saw you had some in your cupboards and thought I’d make some. Do you mind?”
Twilight stared at Jorge in disbelief. “I…not at all. How did you warm the water?”
“Your gas still works,” explained Jorge. “I just rigged the pipes to be able to get the pilot light working.” Jorge finished his tea and stared at his cup. “I prefer jasmine, but this’ll do.”
“What’re you reading?”
Jorge looked down at the book and scowled. “Some more of your myths about us,” he muttered.
“I’m sorry,” whispered Twilight. After last night she had remembered a few of the stories about humans. Just as she suspected, they were not complimentary.
Jorge’s face softened. “It’s alright. It’s not like you wrote them or anything.”
The unicorn perked up after hearing Jorge say that. “Alright then, I’m going to get ready and then we’re going to go.” As soon as those words passed her lips, Twilight’s previous headache resurged with force, and she weakly stumbled into the kitchen, trying to keep from vomiting.
“Go? Go where?” Twilight didn’t answer. She just ignored the Spartan and she kept muttering something about coffee to herself.
After a roughly ten minutes, both were standing right outside the library. Jorge had donned his helmet once more and Twilight was feeling much better thanks to the two mugs of caffeine in her system. The air was humid, but not unpleasantly so. The few clouds that drifted aimlessly through the sky provided a nice shade for anypony in town that morning. The village was alive with ponies, all strolling around their community or working at the various shops. Fortunately for the two creatures outside the library, they were currently in the more residential area of the town; and thus, there were less townsfolk wandering around that part of the village at that hour.
“Where are we going?” asked Jorge.
“Luna invited us to have brunch with her and the other elements, so we need to get you presentable.”
Elements, what Elements? Wait, presentable?
“Excuse me, what do you mean presentable?”
“Well we can’t have you going to meet the Princess without getting ready,” explained Twilight as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, have you showered since you got here? Did you even get out of that armor of yours?”
“First off: I don’t take off my armor. Second: I doubt I’d fit in your shower. Lastly: I saw your precious Princess yesterday in my armor just fine.”
“This was different!” insisted the unicorn. “This isn’t some silly tour. This is a formal meal.”
“I may not be familiar with your culture, but where I come from brunch is pretty informal.”
“But she’s royalty.”
“Well I don’t recall having to wear a damn tuxedo when I was strangling ‘royalty,’” snorted the Spartan.
“Ugh! Fine,” huffed Twilight. As much as she hated it, she could tell that it was a lost cause. She could teleport Jorge to the Carousel Boutique but that would probably cause more problems than was worth. Besides, they were already running short on time.
“Let’s just get to the restaurant,” muttered Twilight.
“What about your home?”
“Spike will take care of it,” answered the unicorn as she waved her hoof dismissively. He needs to make up for yesterday’s skipped chores anyways.
“Before we go I need to ask, how often do you go into the basement?”
“Umm, not that often really. Why?”
Jorge didn’t answer right away. “Because I had to hide a small, blue ball down there…which also happens to be a potentially unstable explosive that is very dangerous.”
“WHAT!” screeched Twilight. “Why would you leave a thing that could explode in my basement!?”
“Because the walls there are thick enough to prevent any serious damage to the structure,” answered Jorge coolly. “I’m just telling you because I don’t want you finding it and playing around with it.”
Twilight sighed loudly. “No, as soon as we get back you need to find a proper way to dispose of it, got it?”
“Fine.”
With that, the couple began walking down the relatively empty street. The moment they rounded a corner and got on to a more crowded part of town however, the temperature dropped at least a couple degrees. It was as if the entire town had decided to gather on that particular street and the entire scene had been paused with a remote control. If a pin were to drop, then pegasi in Cloudsdale would most likely have been able to hear it.
The town stared at Jorge with wide eyes (much like the party guests from last night), while the human and Twilight stared back just as still. Neither had been expecting the streets to be so crowded. But, then again, it was Wednesday.
“Umm…maybe we should go through a different street?” suggested Twilight.
Jorge didn’t listen. He just started walking down the crowded road and completely ignored his companion’s request. Twilight was forced to scramble after him and resumed leading the Spartan. As the couple approached the townsfolk, ponies left and right all backed away from the human and muttered nervously amongst themselves. Most even went as far as to rush inside their homes, bolt their doors, and close the curtains. Twilight noticed that the few that didn’t immediately hide were ponies that attended the party last night. Still, even these avoided making eye contact with either her or Jorge.
“Pssst Jorge, try to look friendlier,” whispered Twilight.
“And how would you suggest I do that?”
“I don’t know, smile or something.”
“I don’t think that will have much of an effect if I’m wearing my helmet,” deadpanned the Spartan.
“Then give them a little wave. Just try not to look so intimidating.”
Jorge sighed. He stopped walking and turned to face the nearest pony to him, a beige mare with a short red mane, who was staring at the human in utter terror. Jorge gave the pony the smallest, friendliest, least threatening wave he could manage. The mare in turn, gasped in fear and immediately passed out.
“Uhhh… on second thought, don’t do anything,” said Twilight.
“Good idea,” muttered the human.
They picked up the pace after that. Everywhere they went Jorge had the same effect on the town, until finally the entire village was completely deserted save for a few ‘brave’ souls. After a few more minutes of walking, the couple made it to the restaurant: a small low built structure with a large terrace. Twilight could see the Princess and her friends were already seated at one of the tables and conversing. When Luna got a glimpse of both Twilight and the Spartan she brightened up.
“Ah Twilight Sparkle, Jorge, I am so glad you could join us!” she called out cheerfully.
“Thank you for inviting us Princess,” replied Twilight enthusiastically while Jorge remained silent. The moment the Spartan sat down at the table, the other patrons all scrambled up to leave. The group looked around at the now empty terrace in bewilderment.
“Well… you sure know how to…leave an impression Jorge,” said Rarity.
Luna sighed. Okay, not the best start. “So how was the party? Did you enjoy yourself Jorge?”
“I went to bed early,” he replied as he removed his helmet.
“Ah.” I’m completely shocked, she thought sarcastically. “Did you have any pleasant dreams at least?”
“Yes,” lied the Spartan. “Really pleasant.” ‘I practically dreamt of rainbows and unicorns,’ he was tempted to say.
“I’m glad,” replied Luna.
“Oh Jorge, I just remembered,” said Rarity suddenly. “What was it that you were saying to me about your armor before Applejack interrupted us?”
At this, the orange cowpony blushed and shifted her eyes away from Rarity. Jorge noticed this and tilted his head quizzically at the earth pony. “What, about my armor ability?” he asked, turning his attention back to the dress maker, who nodded in conformation. “I was just saying that my armor ability is called-”
“OH DEAR CELESTIA! WHAT IS THAT!?!”
Everyone at the table turned to face a terrified looking waiter standing next to the table. The stallion was dressed in a cheap tuxedo and was left quivering in the Spartan’s presence.
“Ah yes, our orders,” said Luna, completely ignoring the waiter’s reaction. “Do you still serve breakfast at this hour?”
The waiter’s eyes shifted between the Spartan and the Princess. “Uh…b-b-but whaaa… t-th-th-the..?” he stuttered incoherently.
“I’m sorry, is there a problem?”
“N-n-no y-y-your highness. Um…yes w-we are still s-s-serving breakfast…”
“Splendid! My companions and I would like to order.” Luna waved her hoof towards the girls and Jorge.
“O-of c-course…um, may I take y-your o-orders?”
The Princess and the Elements all placed their orders, ranging from standard muffins and waffles to a banana split in Pinkie’s case. Once the stallion had shakily written down everypony’s orders he nervously turned his attention towards Jorge. “And f-f-for the…uh…g-g-gentlecolt?
Jorge glanced at the menu in front of him. He leaned down close towards the waiter, who began trembling even more violently.
“Surprise me,” growled the human. Jorge had never seen anybody pale so quickly. He was actually convinced the poor stallion was about to faint, and the Spartan could have sworn the waiter had actually wet himself.
“R-r-right a-a-a-away.” And with that, the waiter rushed back into the restaurant as fast as his hooves could carry him.
Jorge looked back towards the group at the table to see them all giving him disapproving looks. Save for Rainbow Dash, who just looked like she wanted to ‘pound’ him (although, in all fairness, that’s really the only look she’s given him since they met).
“What?”
“Was that really necessary?” asked Luna.
“I didn’t know what to order.”
The alicorn rubbed her eyes. “Never mind. You’ll be happy to know that that the press conference was this morning and you have now officially revealed to the world.”
“I’m positively thrilled,” muttered the soldier. “Have you found a way to send me home?”
“We’ve only just started searching. You need to give it time.”
“Not good enough!” snapped Jorge suddenly, causing everyone at the table to flinch. He was actually just as surprised at his outburst as everyone else.
“What’s your problem!?!” shouted Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus had not forgiven Jorge for giving her a black eye, which she was still sporting, despite her friend’s pleas.
“This does not concern you,” warned Jorge.
“The hay it does! I don’t care what everypony else thinks, I know that you’re a monster. You’re just waiting for the chance to eat us, just like in those stories!”
“RAINBOW DASH THAT IS ENOUGH!!!” bellowed Luna.
Dash stopped talking but continued to glare at Jorge.
“Why is it that you need to get back home so urgently?” asked the alicorn calmly.
“You mean besides the fact that it’s my home, and that I’m a hated creature of myth here in your world?”
“Don’t you think hated is a strong word?” asked Rarity
“I hate him.”
“Rainbow?”
Yeah Applejack?”
“Shut up before ah buck you inta next week.”
“Oh please, I read your stories,” sneered Jorge. “Humans were always depicted as monsters to be slain by some ‘hero.’ Hell, one of those damn myths even claims that the appearance of a human is supposed to signal the apocalypse or something.”
“Those are just stories,” explained Luna. “I can assure you that nopony takes them seriously. You are not hated.”
“Really now? In that case, how did the press conference go?”
“Well uh…”
“That’s what I thought,” snorted the human.
“It’s not like that!” insisted Luna. “I can assure you, you are not hated…just feared.”
“I can see that,” grumbled Jorge as he nodded towards the deserted street.
A tense silence descended on the group, with no one really knowing what to say. Fortunately, Pinkie Pie, who is incapable of detected sarcasm, awkwardness, or tension, came to the rescue.
“So when is Jorgie gonna start working at Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Okay, you need to stop calling me ‘Jorgie.’”
“Sure thing Jorgerinno.”
“…”
“…on second thought, Jorgie is just fine,” deadpanned Jorge.
“Yer gonna start workin’ on the farm tomorrow afternoon,” explained Applejack. “Ah’ve got somethang special planned fer you.”
“I still fail to see how me getting kidnapped and attacked results in me having to work on your farm as compensation.”
“It results as such if you cause thousands of bits worth of property damage and attack the ruler of a sovereign nation,” answered Luna matter-of-factly.
“Again, after being kidnapped and wrongfully accused of harming a pony.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Quit your fussing. Working on the farm is what’s best. Applejack gets compensation for her barn and it helps pass the time while you wait for us to find a way to send you home. Everybody’s happy!”
“Do I look happy?” asked the Spartan bearing the most neutral expression he could muster.
“Are you ever happy?” retorted the Princess.
Jorge shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Shortly after, the waiter arrived with everyone’s orders, bringing various juices, teas, coffees, and pastries to the table for everyone to enjoy. To the Spartan, he brought a pair of fried eggs, sunny side up, with a stick of celery at the bottom to form the shape of a smiley face; and to drink: a tall glass of pink lemonade. Jorge looked down at the happy face looking at him from the plate. He was not amused.
“Oh, I have great news Jorge!” said Luna in between bites of her muffin. “My sister and I made you an official citizen of Equestria and we’ve also managed to find you proper lodgings in town.”
Jorge was surprised to say the least. I don’t get a say in this? “Why did you make me a citizen? What if I don’t want citizenship?”
Luna waved her hoof dismissively. “It’s just a formality, do not worry. It will not affect you in any way. It was simply done to…smooth over a few of the more bureaucratic aspects of getting you a home.”
“What’s wrong with the library?” asked Twilight.
“Look at him Twi, he’s huge,” said Applejack. “He needs a house that doesn’t need a hole in the wall for him just to get in.”
“Well that’s all well and good, but I don’t suspect you invited us all here to brunch so that you could congratulate me on becoming Equestrian.”
Luna shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Actually, I was hoping we could use this as an opportunity to learn about each other.”
“So… to interrogate me…”
“Of course not,” lied Luna in fake outrage. “I want to learn about all my subjects. It is just a happy coincidence that you were invited… but while we’re here do you mind telling us more about you?”
The blue alicorn gave Jorge a look that reminded him of a certain mint green unicorn from the night before. “Any question in particular?”
“Oh I have one!” cried Twilight enthusiastically just as Luna was about to speak. “Can you speak another language? Because I’ve heard you mutter strange words that I don’t understand and I was curious.”
“Vagyis ez? Amit most beszélek? Magyar nyelvnek hivják, és igen, tudok beszélni más nyelvet is. Ez elég egy válasz neked?”
Everyone at the table stared at Jorge with empty expressions.
“Umm…yes?” murmured Twilight uncertainly.
Jorge chuckled softly which surprised everyone. As far as they could tell, they had never heard the Spartan laugh since they met him.
“Yes, I do speak another language,” answered the Spartan with a small smile. “It’s called Hungarian, and it originates from a country called Hungary.”
“Hungry? What kind of a stupid name for a country is that- OW! WHAT THE HAY APPLEJACK!!!”
“Told you I’d buck you if you didn’t shut it.”
“Wait, then how do you speak Equestrian?” asked Rarity.
“Evidently we share a language,” grumbled Jorge. His smile was gone and his mood was sullied by Rainbow’s outburst. “Except humans call it English.”
“Ah thought y’all spoke Hungarian?”
“We have more than one language.”
“Why would need more than one language?” asked Twilight, confused as to why a species would go through the trouble of developing multiple dialects.
“We have many countries.”
“And you’re from a country called Reach, right?”
“No. Reach is the name of one of humanity’s planets.”
The ponies all looked at Jorge in confusion.
“Um…excuse me Mr. Jorge…but…what do you mean ‘one’ of humanity’s planets?”
“We’ve colonized many planets in the past few centuries,” stated the soldier plainly. “We’ve been doing it ever since the first Shaw-Fujikawa Translight Engine was developed.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t use magic?” asked Twilight, puzzled by Jorge’s vague explanation.
“And we can’t. We’ve discovered space flight through technology, not magic.”
“That’s not possible,” asserted Luna.
“Oh it is, believe me.” How do you think I got here in the first place? "It would just take too long to properly explain.”
“Oh it’s no problem, we have plenty of time,” chirped Twilight with a tentative smile.
Jorge sighed. So I do. “Fine.” Jorge spent the next hour or so regaling the ponies with tales of humanity’s progress in space travel and space colonization. Despite the very technical explanation and not understanding a few of the things Jorge said, the ponies were fascinated with the discussion; particularly Luna and Twilight, who were completely enthralled with the Spartan’s little lesson on his species. Even Rainbow Dash managed to grudgingly set aside her animosity to listen to the Spartan (she was particularly interested in the concept of space flight, even though she would never openly admit it). The ponies were utterly shocked by how advanced humans were technologically. Jorge’s descriptions of some of his species machines made magic seem trivial, and some of the things he told them were so fantastic they almost seemed far-fetched.
Jorge was also enjoying the lecture. It was rather pleasant to be able to talk about his people without having to mention the war. Unfortunately, much to Luna and Twilight’s disappointment (the latter of whom was taking notes), the waiter soon came by and interrupted the discussion.
“E-excuse me your highness but…we’re going to serve lunch soon and your…guest is…um…discouraging our customers.”
Luna looked around the restaurant’s terrace. The establishment was still devoid of any customers save for her group, and the streets, while not nearly as deserted as before, were still less crowded than usual. The few ponies that were out were keeping a healthy distance from the restaurant.
“Very well,” conceded the Princess reluctantly. “We shall depart.”
“Yup. Ah should be headin’ back tah the farm soon,” groaned Applejack as she crack her back. “Ah’ve taken enough time off this week.”
“I think we all have darling,” drawled Rarity. “You must excuse me Princess. This has been absolutely delightful, but I must return to my shop.”
“Of course, thank you all for coming.”
The mares stood up to leave, all having to return to their duties and responsibilities, and said goodbye to each other before leaving. Rainbow, as always, gave Jorge a mean look before leaving which he returned with his default expressionless demeanor. Once the group had parted ways the only ones who remained were the human, the Princess, Twilight, and Pinkie, who had been given the week off due to her birthday.
“Looks like we’re going to have to continue this later,” sighed Luna, unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “What would you like to do Jorge? I hadn’t really planned anything for today.”
“Oh I know, let’s take him to Sugercube Corner!” suggested Pinkie.
Jorge grimaced. “I’d rather just go back to the library.”
Luna tapped her chin pensively before breaking out into a wide smile. “How about we take you to see your new home?”
“That’s a great idea Princess,” praised Twilight. “What do you think Jorge?”
The human hesitated. There was something…foreboding about the concept of visiting his house here in Ponyville. It felt almost as if he would never leave if he did so, and that it would be like officially declaring that this was his new home and that he was giving up on all hopes of returning back. Still, he knew that he had no choice. He was too big to fit in the library and it was probable that he would have to stay here for a while.
“Very well,” he muttered cautiously. “Let’s go.” ________________________________________________________________________________
Special Thanks To: BassTheBrony Koroziwe and Perception Filter
Jorge was surprised to say the least. When he had been told that the Princess had acquired lodgings for him, the first thing that came to mind was literally some sort of log cabin, kept at a good distance from the town. Perhaps just a regular cottage, like the kind he had seen near the apple farm the other day; maybe even a conventional home in the middle of the village. What he was not expecting, however, was the structure that stood before him.
“Do you like it?” Luna asked tentatively.
“It’s a clock-tower,” answered Jorge flatly.
The building in front of him was a tall brown tower, with a large clock on one of its sides. The tower had an adjacent structure protruding from the back, which appeared to be some sort of residence for what Jorge assumed was supposed to be the clock’s maintainer. The tower was west of Ponyville, tucked out of the way along with a nearby cattle farm. Jorge supposed that this was one of the reasons the Princess had chosen this as his new, temporary home. The architecture was very simple considering some of the more elaborate buildings in town, and despite being the tallest structure in the near area it blended in with the surrounding country side quite nicely.
“A fully furnished clock tower,” added Luna sheepishly.
“Well, how about we take a look?” suggested Pinkie, eager to get inside.
The Princess led the way as the group stepped through the front door, and into the building. As he walked inside, Jorge could see that they were standing in some sort of living room. It was a large room, but that was necessary considering the Spartan’s size. The floor was made of dark oak planks, which were polished to a shine. The walls were a clean white plaster, with numerous generic, albeit colorful and decorative paintings hung along them. On the floor, there laid a large red carpet with intricate patterns woven into it. On top of said carpet were various pieces of furniture, ranging from a brown velvet couch, to an ebony coffee table that looked very expensive. Along one of the walls, near a large green armchair, was a brick fireplace that already had a small flame burning within it. Next to it was a mahogany bookshelf lined with dozens of pieces of literature. The room had a light odor of smoked wood that helped tie the homey ambiance together.
“Oooh, this is classy,” observed Pinkie as she sat down on the armchair.
“It is quite nice,” marveled Twilight, somewhat jealous of the quality of the room’s furniture.
“So…do you like it, Jorge?” asked Luna.
“It’s…adequate,” answered the Spartan. In truth, Jorge couldn’t remember the last time he was in a room that nice. He was surprised. He had not expected the Princess to go through so much trouble for his sake.
“Oh,” muttered the Princess, somewhat disappointed at the human’s less than enthusiastic response. “Well, let me give you a tour of the rest of your home.”
The rest of the house was just as chic as the living room. Jorge’s bedroom was a simple affair, with a dresser and mirror on one side, and a small nightstand next to the bed. Speaking of which, the bed was probably the nicest aspect of the entire house. It was a massive, four poster frame made out of dark cherry wood, that was the perfect size to accommodate Jorge’s gargantuan stature. Along the wooden posts were detailed carvings of flowers, dragons, manticore, chimeras, and other creatures of myth. The curtains to the bed were a fine crimson silk, while the sheets were of a more emerald hue.
Finally, there came the kitchen, which was by far the most modern area of the house. In fact, it was the most modern thing Jorge had seen since arriving to Equestria. There was a black and white granite bench next to a metal sink, with some silver benches designed to seat the human. The fridge was white, and included a freezer and ice-dispenser. The white cupboards and pantry ran along the ceiling, making it evident that the entire room had been designed specifically with the seven foot tall human in mind. Most surprising of all, both the fridge and the cupboards were already fully stocked with various fruits, vegetables, grains, drinks, and snacks. The Princess had obviously spared no expense to ensure Jorge was comfortable.
“I hope you found the rest of your home to be as…adequate as the living room,” said Luna.
Jorge shrugged. “It’s the nicest place I’ve ever lived in, that’s for sure.”
“So what do you want to do now?” asked Twilight as she browsed through some of Jorge’s new tomes. These books are so rare! They must have come from the Royal Archives themselves. “I was hoping we could discuss those, what were they called, E.Is?”
“A.Is, and I would prefer to be alone now actually,” answered Jorge firmly.
“Oh, okay,” mumbled Twilight. Both she and the Princess were terribly disappointed, but decided not to protest. The three ponies that had accompanied the human all made their way out of his new house.
“I’ll be sure to visit you when there’s a new development in finding a way to get you back home,” assured Luna. “I hope you enjoy your stay here Jorge, try to avoid going into town for the next couple of days though. At least until the village calms down a bit, alright?”
“I have absolutely no intentions of heading into your village, believe me.”
“Alright then, goodbye.”
After giving their awkward goodbyes, both Twilight and the Princess made their way back to town. Pinkie however, didn’t follow suit.
“Here you go Jorgie; I just wanted to give you this before I left.” The pony handed Jorge a pink card with a picture of her cutie-mark on the front.
“A card?”
“Yup. I wanted to give this to you at your party last night, but you went to bed early. You must have been really tired, huh?”
“Why would you give me a card Pinkie?”
“It’s a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ card. I give one to all my new friends.”
Jorge stared at the smiling pony quizzically. “You consider me a friend?” he asked incredulously.
“Of course silly! Why wouldn’t I?”
‘Because I almost killed both of your Princesses, and destroyed your friend’s home,’ Jorge almost muttered. Instead he stayed silent and continued to stare at the card.
“Welp, I better get back to Sugarcube Corner. Those cakes aren’t gonna bake themselves!” With her goodbyes said, Pinkie turned and began bouncing back down the road towards the town. However, before she had traveled less than five meters she paused and turned around to face the human again.
“Oh, and Jorge?”
The Spartan looked up from the card to see Pinkie Pie looking at him with a small smile that was much tamer, yet looked more heartfelt then the massive grins she normally sported.
“I don’t know if I told you this yet, but welcome to Ponyville.” And with that, the party pony resumed her bouncing, leaving Jorge to stand alone on the porch of his new home. Jorge looked down at the card one more time, before going back into his new house, and closing the door behind him. He continued gazing at the card in his hands for a few more minutes before opening it: Inside was a small message written in dark ink.
Dear Jorge,
I’m not so good at writing these kinds of things. I usually get Mrs. Cake to help me because I get distracted really easily which I don’t mean to do, but there’s always something interesting to see all the time what with new ponies coming all the time and aliens visiting. Then I start rambling to the ponies and aliens about them being new and having to throw them parties, which may seem like fun but it’s really hard to do. I mean, I have to get the right streamers and make sure they match the confetti. Then I gotta get the right party games and balloons. And don’t get me started on choosing whether to bring cupcakes or regular cake. Somepony even suggested I bring a quiche! I mean, who brings a quiche to a welcome par-?
Whoops I’m doing it again, sorry. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for making you upset earlier. I know everypony either doesn't like you, or are scared of you because of what happened with the Princesses that night we found you, but I also know it’s not your fault. I would be pretty mad if I was all alone without my friends, and there were a bunch of ponies being angry at me for no reason. But I guess I’d be mostly sad though. I’m sure you’re feeling pretty sad right about now, missing your family and friends, not knowing whether or not you’ll ever see them again. I just wanted you to know that if you ever needed cheering up, just call old Pinkie, and I’ll have you smiling in a jiffy. Or, if you just want to talk, tell me! Cuz I love to talk.
Your new friend,
Pinkie Pie
P.S. I know how much you liked them the first time, so I left you a little surprise in the fridge.
After reading it, Jorge continued staring at the card’s message, unable to move. Under the note there was a small, felt Pinkie Pie stapled next to a little felt picture of Jorge’s helmet, with the words ‘New BFF’ under it. He gently placed the card on the coffee table of his new living room, and entered the kitchen. The human opened the fridge, and saw a pink cardboard box with a post-it note that read ‘For Jorgie’ sitting on one of the shelves. He carefully picked up the box, and opened it. Jorge couldn’t help but chuckle.
Az az őrült rózsaszin ló...
Inside the box was a baker’s dozen of strawberry cupcakes.
A loud, shrill ringing echoed throughout the room, signaling the end of the school day. As if on cue, dozens of voices exploded in the room, each one anxious to be heard above the din. A piercing snapping noise cracked the air, silencing the ruckus. Multiple pairs of eyes all turned to the front of the room, to face the source of the noise. There, standing in front of a wooden desk and blackboard, was a purple earth pony with three smiling flowers on her flank. This pony stared at the children in front of her with a stern expression and a ruler in her mouth, annoyed at the loud interruption. Just as quickly as the commotion was silenced, the mare’s strict features were replaced by a warm smile.
“Now,” began the purple pony. “As I was saying, your homework assignment this week will be to interview somepony in town.”
A white pegasus colt with a brown mane raised his hoof.
“Yes Featherweight?”
“What should we ask Miss Cheerilee?”
“Good question,” praised the teacher. She picked up a stack of papers in her mouth, and began passing them out to the class. “Here is a list of five questions that you must ask your interviewee. Then you are free to ask another five questions of your choice.”
“Um…what if we can’t think of another five questions?” asked Featherweight nervously.
“Oh Featherweight, you’re a bright young colt. I’m sure you could think of five questions to ask. Think of it as training for your new position as head of the school paper.”
The young pegasus stared at his paper dejectedly, and gulped.
“Class dismissed,” announced Cheerilee happily.
The children all packed their things, and filed out of the schoolhouse. The sun was bright, the day was young, and the air was filled with the chattering of young voices, each one eagerly asking another who they were planning to interview. Off to the side, away from the herd of excited fillies and colts, three young fillies were walking together towards the town. As they passed through the village square, the young girls discussed their plans for the weekend.
“So what are we going to do for our cutie-marks this week?” asked a white unicorn.
“Uh, Sweetie Belle, ah think we got more important thangs tah worry ‘bout than our cutie-marks.” answered a yellow earth pony.
“What!?” yelled an orange pegasus. “Apple Bloom, what could possibly be more important than our cutie-marks? Did you forget that we’re the Cutie-Mark Crusaders?”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Ah know Scootaloo. But ah just think that we should be figurin’ out what we’re gonna do for that interview Miss Cheerilee’s makin’ us do.”
“Pffft big deal,” said Scootaloo with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I’ve got that all figured out, guess who I’m gonna interview.”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at each other, before staring flatly at their friend. “Rainbow Dash,” they deadpanned simultaneously.
Scootaloo looked briefly surprised, before mumbling something under her breath.
“Well ah don’t know who ah’m gonna interview,” said Apple Bloom with a hint of despair in her voice. “And ah need a good grade on this project. You should’a heard mah sister when she found out ah failed last week’s quiz.”
“So you're just gonna ditch us?” accused Scootaloo. “How are we supposed to get our cutie-marks if we can’t go crusading!?”
“We don’t have tah go crusadin’ all the time Scoots.”
“Not unless you want to get your cutie-mark you don’t.”
While both her friends continued to bicker and argue among themselves, Sweetie just watched in confusion.
“That’s not fair! Ah do wanna get it. Ah just wanna be able tah do other thangs as well,” explained Apple Bloom.
“Guys.”
“Have you even thought of us? We can’t go crusading without you. Do you want us to stay blank flanks forever?”
“Guys!”
“Of course not! How could you say that Scootaloo? Ah want mah cutie-mark just as badly as you do.”
“Well it sure doesn’t seem like it!”
“GUYS!!!”
Both Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tore their eyes away from each other, and looked towards their irritated companion. “What!?” they both asked at the same time.
“What if we use our projects to get our cutie-marks as interviewers?”
Both the earth pony and the pegasus stared curiously at their friend.
“Uh…Sweetie Belle, we already tried that when we worked for the school paper,” pointed out Scootaloo.
“Yeah, and that didn’t exactly end well,” muttered Apple Bloom.
“But we didn’t interview anyone. We just wrote stories about them.”
Both of Sweetie Belle’s companions looked at each other, and rubbed their chins ponderously, before breaking out into large grins.
“CUTIE-MARK CRUSADERS, PROFESIONAL INTERVIEWERS YAY!!!” shouted the three fillies in perfectly synchronized unison, startling, and even temporarily deafening, passersby.
“But who should we interview?” asked Scootaloo.
“Not Rainbow Dash!” replied both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, leaving Scootaloo to pout angrily to herself.
The three fillies began brainstorming ideas about who they should interview. Each had their own suggestions. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom naturally proposed their sisters, while Scootaloo, not surprisingly, suggested Rainbow Dash despite her companions’ demands. The three fillies argued for nearly half an hour, each one adamant about interviewing their chosen pony, but none of them willing to do the project on their own. Finally, they decided to pick a completely different pony, someone they were unaffiliated with. But the question remained: Who would they interview? The three ponies continued thinking about any possible candidates, none of them really conceding on who it should be.
After another couple of minutes of thinking, Apple Bloom spotted a newspaper on a bench with a headline that caught her eye. The filly approached the paper, and read the cover; a smile immediately spreading across her face. “Girls, ah think ah found our pony.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle approached their friend curiously, and looked at the paper she was pointing at.
Humans Exist!!!
A Human, said to be sentient, residing in the local town of Ponyville as a guest of The Throne. Sends Equestria and the world into an uproar!
The story went on to talk about the ramifications that the confirmation of humans’ existence was having in Equestria and its neighbors. It also briefly mentioned the little information about the human that was released at the press conference, and discussed the possibility of the existence of other mythological creatures like sea-ponies or platypuses. This however, was inconsequential to the three fillies, who were still focusing on the headline.
“Apple Bloom, you’re a genius!” shouted Scootaloo, immediately understanding where the earth pony was going with this. “We’ll just interview the pony who wrote this story!”
“That’s a great idea!” agreed Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, imagine what Miss Cheerilee will say when we tell her we interviewed a famous reporter,” said Apple Bloom. “What’s his name?”
Sweetie Belle examined the paper. “It says here that her name is Pen Stroke, and that she…” Sweetie Belle’s face contorted into a frown, before her head drooped down. “It says she lives in Canterlot,” she murmured.
“Shoot!” cursed Scootaloo. “Now what are we going to do?”
Apple Bloom gazed back at the newspaper, trying to think of a solution to their predicament. Just as quickly as it had left, her grin reappeared. “Ah know! What if we just interview this here human feller they’re talkin’ ‘bout in the papers?”
Her friends’ reactions were almost immediate. Scootaloo paled visibly, and stared at her yellow companion like she had gone mad, while Sweetie Belle just looked at Apple Bloom with confusion.
“Um…didn’t Miss Cheerilee say that we had to interview a pony?” asked the white unicorn.
“Well, says here he’s senti…sentu…he can talk, and that he’s stayin’ near Ponyville. Ah don’t see why she wouldn’t let us interview him.”
“B-b-but wouldn’t it b-b-be dangerous,” stammered Scootaloo.
“Naw, I heard mah sister mention somethin’ ‘bout him last night. I didn’t hear her say nothin’ about him bein’ dangerous,” assured Apple Bloom. “Besides, why would he be?”
Scootaloo gazed at her friend as if she had said the dumbest thing in the world. Before she could respond, Sweetie Belle cut her off.
“Scootaloo, are you…scared?”
The effect on the little orange filly was instant. She flared her wings in anger and glared at the white unicorn. “Of course I’m not scared! I’m not scared of anything. I was just…uh…worried that you guys might be scared. Yeah, that’s it!”
Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glanced at each other uncertainly.
“If you say so,” said Apple Bloom. “So anyways, we should start thinkin’ of things to ask. An alien! This is gonna be so awesome.”
Both she and the yellow filly continued on their way, both excitedly discussing their homework assignment and what each thought the mysterious human would be like. Scootaloo however, did not follow suit. She stayed behind, and chewed on her hoof nervously as she watched her two friends leave. Thoughts of monsters and beasts raged in her head while she contemplated the prospect of having to confront the foreign creature. Realizing that she was being unwittingly left behind by her friends, Scootaloo pushed these thoughts out of her mind, and ran to catch up with them.
“H-hey, wait for me!” she cried out as she scurried after the other Crusaders.
Jorge stood up. He sat back down. He stood up again, and paced around the room. After of few minutes of doing this, he sat back down on the green armchair. He sifted his weight, trying to find a comfortable position, but quickly realized that it was useless in his armor. He stood up again, and moved over to the fireplace. He lazily poked the fire, and added an extra log to make sure that it wouldn’t go off, not realizing that it was the third log he had added in the last five minutes. He sat back down, this time on the couch, and looked around the living room of his new home. It was stylish, elegant, and, above all else, cozy.
It was completely alien to him.
He stood up a fourth time and walked to the book shelf that stood next to the fireplace. Picking out a book at random, he absent-mindedly flipped through the pages, not even looking at its contents, before putting it back where he had gotten it from. He was about to sit back down, maybe try one of the wooden chairs next to the dining table, when he decided against it. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen to grab something to drink. He opened the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of some sort of soda. He popped the cap off with his thumb, and took a sip. Jorge grimaced as the intensely sweet flavor assaulted his taste buds. He drained the bottle down the sink, and threw it away. Choosing to simply make some tea instead, the Spartan filled a kettle with water, and turned on the stove.
After the ponies showed him his new house/clock-tower and left, Jorge, despite his better judgment, decided to try one of the cupcakes Pinkie had left him. He was surprised to find that it was much less sweet than the first batch he had tried, and that it was wholly pleasant to eat. More than pleasant actually. It was probably the best pastry he had ever had, so much so that he ate another three on the spot. After enjoying the snack, Jorge examined some of the appliances in the kitchen. Most he was able to recognize, despite the fact that they were hundreds of years obsolete by his standards, while with others, he had to determine their use through trial and error. By the end of the day, he had figured out how to turn on the oven, the microwave, some sort of espresso machine, and the blender. The only thing he had trouble with was the dishwasher, and after nearly an hour of tinkering with the buttons and commands, Jorge just gave up, and went to bed without bothering to take his armor off.
Now, after recently waking up the next morning, he opened the cabinet, and pulled out a tea pack. He was relieved yesterday to find that, like with the rest of his home, the Princess had cut no corners in trying to make sure he had a pleasant stay. The cabinet was stocked with dozens of different kinds of teas, including his favorite: jasmine. As he pulled out the tea-bag, the soldier heard the kettle whistle, indicating that the water had boiled and was ready to go. He opened another cabinet that was right over the sink, to reveal a large collection of fine china. He selected an expertly crafted tea cup, and poured the scalding water into it. As nice as the decorated cup was, Jorge couldn’t help but miss the aluminum mugs that he was accustomed to drinking out of.
As he dipped the bag into the water, the Spartan began to hear a rather loud commotion coming from outside. Ignoring the noises, he poured some cream into his tea, stirred gently, and walked back into the living room. He sat down on the armchair, and breathed in the enticing aroma of his warm drink. Sighing contently, Jorge brought the cup to his lips, and was about to take a sip, when a loud knocking on his door interrupted him. A growl of irritation gurgled from the back of his throat. He set his tea down and reluctantly walked towards the front door. He could hear almost a dozen voices outside but could not recognize any of them. He opened the door, and immediately regretted doing so.
As soon as the door swung open, Jorge was deafened by the shouts of what sounded like hundreds of voices screaming at him simultaneously. He tried to get a look at the source of the noise but was blinded by dozens of bright flashes, immediately making him regret not wearing his helmet. Jorge recoiled from the light and rubbed his eyes, while his ears continued to ring with screams. After a few seconds, he turned back and squinted to avoid the flashes that kept erupting around him. What he saw left him absolutely dumbstruck.
In front of him, standing right outside his new home, was a sea of ponies. Some had notebooks, some had out-of-date cameras that flashed in his eyes, and others even had what appeared to be old looking filming equipment and recording tapes, but one thing they all had in common was that they were all staring at the Spartan, trying to get his attention. Jorge also spotted a few pegasi flying over him, along with some half-lion half-eagle creatures which he assumed were griffons. Before Jorge could fully register the extent of the scene in front of him, he had at least a dozen recorders and cameras shoved in his face by some of the ‘luckier’ ponies. These overzealous Equestrians got close enough that he was forced to take a step back. He was also able to hear a few of the questions they were shouting at him:
“To what extent is your species invading!?”
“Are you affiliated with the spirit of chaos, Discord!?”
“Are you aware of the minotaur’s demands for your immediate execution!?”
“Where does your species reside!?”
“Equestria Daily requests an exclusive interview with you! We’ll pay anything!”
“Have you at any point in your life consumed pony flesh!?”
“Modern Manehattenite Magazine wishes for an interview as well! We shall double anything Equestria Daily offers you!”
“Are any of those myths about your people even remotely accurate!?”
“The Las Pegasus Times will triple anything those alliterating pricks at Modern Manehattenite Magazine are willing to pay!”
“How do you respond to the rumors that you are currently having an affair with Princess Celestia!?”
And that was just from a couple of ponies in front of him. He couldn’t even make out half of the shouts coming from the tidal wave of noise that was crashing against his ailing ears. This was not the first time Jorge had been the center of an inquiry by the media. Whenever war journalists covered a story on the front, they always attempted to get an interview with one of the fabled Spartans. But no matter how many times Jorge had been harassed by reporters, it had never been to the degree he was currently experiencing. There must have been hundreds of ponies on his doorstep.
When did this happen!? He asked himself as he stared at the mob.
The soldier was utterly overwhelmed. He tried to shout over the chaos, but it was no use. He was tempted to fire a round in the air, but he doubted that it would have been heard; besides he had to save ammo. The thought of just shooting a few of the ponies to scare the rest briefly entered his mind, but it was immediately smothered and crushed without hesitation. That would have been completely insane, and Jorge was no madman.
Still, Jorge was rapidly growing desperate. The mass of bodies pushed against his armor, threatening to overtake him and flow into the clock tower. He held his ground but of few of the journalists were actually trying to squeeze between him and the doorway, no doubt in an attempt to get a peek at what a human’s home would look like. Through it all the flashes never ceased, and the cries never faltered. Finally, left with little choice, the human retreated back into his home, and shut the door before the ponies could get through. A few of the more diehard reporters desperately tried to force their way in before the soldier could close the entrance, but they were no match for Jorge’s herculean strength. As soon as the door clicked shut and was locked, the chaos stopped abruptly. Jorge stood in the silent room, with no sound other than his breathing. It was a complete shift in environment from just a few mere seconds ago.
Jorge said the only thing that came to mind:
“That’s one hell of a door.”
Jorge was left staring at the slab of oak in front of him, completely baffled at what had just transpired. The Spartan was snapped out of his dazed state by another flash going off. He looked over to his right, only to see a handful of photographers pressing against his window, taking as many photos as possible. Jorge rushed towards the window, and shut the curtains. No sooner did he do so however, that he started hearing a loud tapping coming from the other side of the room. He turned around and saw that a more reporters had gathered against a window on the adjacent wall, and were trying to get his attention.
Doing the only thing he could think of, Jorge quickly closed the curtains of every window in the house. He stood in the center of his living room, looking at his front door with unease. After a few minutes of silence, the weary soldier slumped onto his couch, and rubbed his eyes.
What the fuck?
“What in tarnation?”
Applejack had slept very well last night. After leaving the restaurant and going back to the farm, she spent the rest of the day bucking apple trees, and trying to explain to Big Macintosh and Granny Smith why Jorge was going to work with them for a few days. Mac was clearly upset by the news, and voiced his thoughts that it was a crazy and stupid idea. He was however overruled by his sister when she mentioned that it was Luna’s idea, and begrudgingly conceded.
The real problem was Granny Smith. The old mare was a superstitious sort, so when she had heard that a human was coming to the farm she grabbed as much garlic as she could and locked herself in her room. Applejack tried to coax her to come out. She tried explaining that Jorge wasn’t going to harm them, but that didn’t work. She tried bribing her with a homemade apple pie, but that didn’t work either. Finally, the fed up cowpony just ranted about how senile Granny Smith was being, and how garlic only worked on vampires (although she made a note to ask Jorge whether he could eat garlic, just in case).
After yelling at the old mare’s bedroom door for the better part of an hour, Applejack went to bed. She woke up the next morning full of energy and much needed vigor. She went downstairs to eat breakfast, but was disappointed to see that Granny Smith was still barricaded within her bedroom. That didn’t dampen Applejack’s mood though. She was so excited to get her barn repaired that as she walked towards the clock tower she had a slight spring in her step. As she neared the human’s new home however, her good mood began to wane as anxiety lurked into the back of her mind. She had no idea whether Jorge would still be willing to go through with the Princess’s absurd plan, and that uncertainty put her on edge.
Once she climbed a final hill before the tower, all worry and nervousness was bucked violently out of her mind to make way for another emotion: confusion.
Which brings us back to the present.
“What in tarnation?” repeated Applejack. Before her was a massive cluster of white tents, all erected around a very distinct clock tower that stood in the center of the ocean of fabric. Ponies of all shapes and sizes were wandering around the campsite, going about their business. The orange earth pony noticed that most of them were separated into groups, and that each pony had either a camera or a notepad in their hoofs. She looked up to see numerous pegasai and griffins fluttering in the sky, building makeshift cloud housing over the humbler accommodations on the ground.
Applejack decided to continue on her way and hope that she could squeeze through the crowd of ponies. But the more she pushed through the camp grounds, the thicker the multitude of bodies got. Finally, she was able to find a small clearing in the tent city to catch her breath.
Since when did all these ponies get here!?
“Uh…pardon me,” she asked to a grey colt with a brown fedora who was standing nearby. “Ah don’t mean tah bother you, but do you know wha-”
“NO! I don’t know anything about him. Go pester someone else you bottom feeding parasite!”
“EXCUSE ME!?!” cried Applejack. “Ya’ll better take that back before ah buck you inta next week, you hear!”
The stallion turned around and was about to tell Applejack to buzz off, but stopped short when he got a good look at her. “Wait, you don’t look like a reporter.”
“Reporter? What the hay are you talkin’ ‘bout!?”
“Shoot, sorry about that. I’ve been getting harassed by all these reporters all day, and I thought you were another one of them.”
Applejack’s face softened. “It’s all right. Just uh mistake is all.”
“Thanks,” replied the journalist with a smile. “So what can I help you with? Are you from the town?”
“Yup,” answered the cowpony proudly. “Ah just wanted tah ask you what the deal with all these tents is.”
“What, you haven’t heard? We’re all journalists, camping out here to try and get some info on the biggest story of the millennium. Although, I haven’t been getting much luck.” The stallion sighed. “That’s what I get for working for a crummy magazine like Podium Digest.”
“Never heard of it.”
“Nopony has,” muttered the grey pony miserably. “And we can’t afford to compete with some of these other magazines. Do you have any idea how valuable an exclusive interview with a living human would be?”
“Human…you mean Jorge?”
The reporter’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He slowly rotated his head to meet with the apple farmer eye-to-eye. “D-do…do you know th-the human,” he stuttered anxiously, loud enough to get the attention of some of the nearby journalists. Soon their whispering attracted even more ponies, who in turn spread the word even farther.
“Uh…” Applejack slowly backed away from the approaching reporters. She recognized the look in their eyes. It was a horrifying expression that nopony should ever have to see, but Applejack happened to have witnessed it more times than she cared to admit. It was exactly the same look Twilight would get when she had one of her ‘episodes.’ It was a look of disconnection, a look of a total abandonment of inhibition, and the onset of irrational determination. The news that there was a pony in the camp who knew the mysterious human shot through the grounds like electricity, and before long every journalist, columnist, correspondent, reporter, photographer, and film-crew within a three kilometer radius was hungrily approaching the orange mare.
Not surprisingly, Applejack quickly came to the conclusion that she had bucked up.
What then occurred could be described as both hilarious and horrifying at the same time. Hilarious in the sense that it was amusing to see Applejack practically have to beat back reporters with a stick to avoid getting mobbed by the rabid crowd, and horrifying because at one point she got a hold of a two by four and literally beat them back with a stick, breaking snouts and ribs in an effort to keep the crazed ponies back (although, in retrospect, this could also be construed as humorous). Then again, had she not resorted to such a desperate measure, the cowpony would have most likely have been trampled to death. On the plus side, this event would turn Applejack into a minor celebrity. As the next morning, newspapers all over Equestria would feature a rather well shot photo of the cowpony beating the snot out of a particularly insistent stallion. The amateur photographer who took said photo would go on to become one of Equestria’s most prominent photo journalists, opening art galleries all over the country.
After Applejack spent over twenty minutes fighting back wave after wave of reporters, her weapon had snapped, and she was absolutely exhausted. Her fatigue left her somewhat disoriented, which wasn’t helped by constant flashes exploding from the cameras all around her. Despite this however, she managed to fight her way to Jorge’s home.
OH, THANK CELESTIA!
She rushed up to the front door, and knocked it as hard as she could. “JORGE, OPEN THE DANG DOOR NOW!!!”
Whether or not the Spartan responded, or even heard, Applejack couldn’t tell. Everyone around her was still yelling. The distressed apple farmer turned around to face the mob. The ponies had completely surrounded their prey, and were now closing in. Realizing that she was out of time, Applejack did the only thing she could think of: She bucked the door like she had never bucked before.
The door burst inward, and the orange mare immediately rushed into the tower as fast as she could. Her aggressors followed close behind, and when she tried to shut the entrance, she was impeded by over a dozen bodies pushing against the slab of wood in a desperate attempt to pass the threshold. Applejack pushed back with all her might and, after a few seconds of grunting, was able to close the door. Finding the first thing she could get her hoofs on, the earth pony grabbed a nearby bookcase, and pushed it against the doorway to make sure nopony got in.
Once this was done, Applejack collapsed onto the floor. She laid there for a few minutes, panting and wheezing from her recent excursion. Once she had caught her breath, she turned around to survey the new house. There, sitting on a couch and sipping a cup of tea, was Jorge. The Spartan stared at Applejack with one of his eyebrows raised, and an amused expression on his face. He raised his head, and looked up at his now barricaded front door.
“Come in,” he called out.
Applejack rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry ‘bout that. Ah had some trouble with the…uh…neighbors.”
Jorge’s face contorted like he had bit into something foul. “What do you want?” he asked gruffly.
“Its yer first day of work, so ah’d though ah’d come and remind you.”
“Aw, I’m touched,” answered Jorge sarcastically. “Unfortunately, unless you can think of a way to make everyone outside magically disappear, I think we may have some trouble getting past the ‘neighbors’.”
Applejack pushed aside the curtains of one of the windows. “How long have they been out there?”
“Since this morning,” replied Jorge as he finished his tea.
“Well, judgin’ from their camp, looks like they’re gonna be there fer a while. Better get this over with.”
“That’s your plan?” asked Jorge incredulously. “‘Let’s get this over with?’ Do you really expect me to go out there?”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “You have tah. Princess’ orders.”
Jorge stood up and walked over to the glaring cowpony, who suddenly had all her confidence sapped out of her by the imposing human looking down at her.
“Let’s get one thing clear,” growled Jorge. “I do not take orders from any of you ponies. Especially not from that incompetent Princess of yours. Understood?”
“Uh…then why are you willing tah…you know…still come and help?”
The Spartan snorted in contempt. “Ever hear of the expression ‘tit for tat?’”
“What fer what?”
“It basically means that I shouldn’t piss off the magical horse thing that can send me back home. And if going along with her silly, random, and just plain stupid plan for compensation is what will keep me from doing that, then I suppose that’s what I’ve got to do.”
“Well…okay then,” muttered Applejack. “As long as you come, then I’ve got no interests in yer motivation.”
Applejack walked towards the front door, and cleared away the improvised barricade. Jorge grabbed his helmet and slipped it on before joining the pony at the door.
“This is going to be fun,” he sighed. Szarba... I could use some Active Camo or the Hologram right about now. Mi a fos, még az átkozott Jetpack is jól jönne most. Hogy tudna most az armor lock segiteni nekem most?
Applejack turned the doorknob, and looked back at Jorge. “You ready?”
The human shrugged. “I’ve faced worse. Besides, like is said, it might be fun.”
It wasn’t.
Releasing Jorge into the mass of reporters was the equivalent of dropping a bleeding cow into a tank of starving piranhas. There was a feeding frenzy. All it took was one moron screaming ‘there it is!’, and in less than two seconds Jorge and Applejack were swarmed by rabid journalists and photographers. It was as if hundreds of flash-bangs were going off continuously in their faces. Had Jorge not been wearing his helmet he would not have been able to see or hear a thing. Applejack meanwhile, was not as lucky. Seeing that his companion was completely overwhelmed by all the attention, and was actually in danger of being injured, Jorge picked up the orange pony, who screamed in surprise, and carried her in one of his massive arms. Using his mammoth size and strength, the Spartan began plowing through the wall of bodies in front of him. It was like walking through liquid concrete, and the human could barely move forward with so many ponies amassed around him.
The ponies tried to keep up with Jorge, and for a while it seemed like he would have to travel the rest of the way surrounded by ravenous reporters. But one thing about the journalism industry that few ponies know about is that competition is quite stiff in the media. And by stiff, it’s meant that hoof fights (and the occasional kidnapping) have broken out over the rights to a particularly juicy story; and when one gets a few hundred reporters together in front of the juiciest story since Luna’s banishment, hilarity is the last thing to ensue. The crowd soon became a storm of flying hoofs and flailing limbs as ponies tried to literally beat others off their prize. The freelancer journalists didn’t stand a chance, and were quickly overwhelmed by the violent outbreak. The news teams on the other hand, banded together into makeshift tribes, and were quick to gain the upper hand in the fight. The event, which would eventually be dubbed the ‘Great Reporter Riot of Ponyville’ (not to be confused with the slightly less great reporter riots the town had hosted), would be studied by anthropologists, sociologists, and psychologists for years to come. In fact, the riot would be the main subject of Aperture Shot’s first major gallery, who happens to be the amateur photographer that was mentioned earlier.
The infighting between the different news venues and journalists soon escalated to the point where most stopped caring about Jorge, and were more concerned with wailing on each other. This allowed the Spartan to eventually break free from the mass of bodies that surrounded him. As soon as he did so, Jorge disengaged his armor’s motion restrictors, and sprinted as fast as he could in a random direction. The few reporters that weren’t caught in the chaos of the brawl tried to chase the human, but were no match for his speed.
After a minute of continuous sprinting, Jorge gradually slowed down, and came to a stop just inside the Everfree. He looked around briefly to make sure that no one had managed to follow them, before putting a very frazzled Applejack back down on the ground.
“W-wow. Y-y-yer v-v-very f-f-fast,” the farmer stuttered as she tried to stand upright. “But d-d-did you really need t-tah pick me up?”
“You were about to get trampled,” replied Jorge.
“Well, thanks. Who knows what them lunatics coulda done.”
“Don’t mention it. So how are we going to get to your farm?”
“We’re not that deep inside the forest,” explained Applejack. “Ah think ah can get us there in no time.”
Applejack led the Spartan through the thick cluster of trees. The two quickly made it to the edge of the woods, and back onto one of the many dirt roads that lined the town. Jorge however, insisted that they stay within the cover of the canopy, to avoid any of the obsessive reporters that were no doubt on the prowl for the now famous human. Applejack waved him off as being paranoid, but no sooner did she do so that a group of pegasai flew over brandishing cameras and interrogating nearby ponies if they had seen the tall biped go by. The cowpony remained silent after that, as she and her alien companion trudged sullenly through the forest, making sure to stay within a close distance to the road. Before long, the trees gave way to meadow, and the pair was met with a white wooden fence. On the other side of said fence, lay acres upon acres of apple trees for as far as the eye could see.
“Whew, made it,” breathed Applejack in relief.
“Let’s just get this over with,” grumbled Jorge.
Both crossed through onto the Apple family plantation, and made their way through the rows of timbers until the family home came into view. Jorge could see a red pony with a yellow/orange mane, and a green apple on his flank pulling a cart to the nearby barn. As he got closer to the stallion in question, Jorge noticed that the he was a much larger pony than most of the others he had seen.
“There’s Big Macintosh. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”
The two approached the red pony, who was obliviously and happily tugging a cart full of old farming equipment into the barn. “Hey, Big Mac!” The stallion turned around to face his sister with a small smile on his face. That smile was quickly replaced with scowl as the Apple farmer clenched his teeth on the straw of hay he had been chewing.
“Hey there big brother,” called out Applejack as she galloped up to him. She nuzzled him in greeting, not noticing his taut muscles, which had tensed at the sight of the rapidly approaching behemoth. “Here, ah want tah introduce you tah someone. This here is Jorge. He’s gonna be helpin’ on the farm fer a little while. Jorge, this is mah brother Big Macintosh; strongest pony this side uh Ponyville. ‘Sides me of course,” she added with a chuckle.
Jorge extended his hand in greeting. “Pleasure.”
Big Mac looked at the hand being offered to him with narrowed eyes, before looking up and glaring at the human. “Ah’ve gotta go,” he spat, before unhitching the cart from his back, and heading back towards the house.
Applejack bit her lip anxiously as she and her human companion watched her brother storm off towards the house. Once the front door of the Apple’s home had been slammed shut by the disgruntled stallion, Jorge looked down towards the orange mare.
“I must say Applejack, your brother is quite a charmer,” he said mirthlessly.
“He’s just…tired, is all.”
“A lot of ponies are getting tired around me lately.”
“Let’s just focus on getting you tah work, okay?”
Jorge scanned the apple trees. “So what, are you going to have me pick apples or something?”
Applejack burst out in laughter. “Course not,” she said with a wave of her hoof. “Could you imagine a human buckin’ apples. That’s just plain ridiculous...”
Yes, because that’s what would be ridiculous about this situation, thought Jorge bitterly.
“…Naw, yer just gonna help build a new barn,” explained Applejack nonchalantly.
Jorge eyed the barn in front of him. “It seems fine to me.” “’cept fer the big hole in the back that you made. So, instead of just repairin’ it, ah though we might as well tear this down and build a new one.”
“How long is this going to take?”
“As long as it has to,” answered Applejack sternly. “Now all we need to do it wait for Rainbow Dash to come and tear down the old barn like last time.” Applejack cast an angry glance towards the sky. “That girl’s always forgettin’ about this sort uh thing. Who knows how long it’ll take tah get her lazy flank down here.”
“I’m not waiting to find out,” said Jorge as he marched towards the red structure.
“Where the hay are you goin’?”
Instead of answering the farmer, Jorge positioned himself in front of the barn’s entrance, bent down slightly, and disengaged his armor’s motion restrictors for a second time that day, before breaking into sprint towards the wooden building. The Spartan widely ignored Applejack’s confused cried, and by the time he reached the barn he was running at over fifty kilometers per hour. Needless to say, he burst through the thin wooden wall like it was air. Shards of wood flew in every direction as he redirected himself to hit the load bearing portions of the architecture. Bit by bit, the interior of the barn became covered with shattered wood as the Spartan continued to tear it apart. The building groaned in protest before collapsing in on itself and on the human that was still inside.
Applejack could only stare in horror as the barn fell on her companion. She shielded her eyes from the cloud of dust that rose from the ceiling’s impact, and coughed a bit from some inhaled dirt. After rubbing her teary eyes, she gazed upon the pile of red and white timber that had once been her barn. Spear-like, shattered two by fours jutted dangerously from the pile, and the western wall, which astoundingly had still managed to stay up, finally fell on top of the pile of rubble from lack of support. Once the final portion of the barn had fallen, a silence permeated across the farm stead. The only noise that could be heard was the ruffling of nearby leaves in the wind, and the windmill, which squeaked every time it rotated.
The orange cowpony stared at the pile of wood, praying that something would move. The debris however, remained still.
“Jorge?” she called out hesitantly, still unable to believe what had happened. No one responded.
“JORGE!?” Applejack rushed towards the wreckage as fast as she could, and began desperately digging through the wood. “Jorge! Jorge, can you hear me!?”
Just as she was in the middle of pulling away a rather large beam of wood, part of the rubble began to shake. The debris gave way to a large figure rising out of the wreckage, almost giving Applejack a heart-attack. The farmer looked up at the dark figure, only to see a familiar Spartan casually wiping of a few stray splinters from his shoulders.
“Yes?” he asked insouciantly.
Applejack’s mouth opened and closed without emitting any sound, while her wide eyes pierced Jorge. “T-t-that’s…s-some armor you g-got there,” she finally stammered.
“Thank you. So now what?”
Applejack looked back towards the debris that was formerly her barn. “I honestly thought takin’ this down would take longer,” she admitted. “Ah well. I guess we kin get started on buildin’ the frames and then set up th-”
The cowpony was cut off by a bright flash of light, and a popping noise. Both she and Jorge turned towards the orchard to see a group of lenses, sticking out of one of the apple trees. Worst of all, a large swarm of reporters could be seen in the distance heading towards the farm at an alarming speed. Applejack however, was more worried with those who were already in her farm.
“What the hay!” she exclaimed furiously. ‘They can’t come here. This here’s private property!”
She was just about to go and tell the not so inconspicuous journalists that they were trespassing, when Jorge calmly stepped ahead of her, and marched towards the tree they were hiding in. The Spartan opened and closed his hand over and over again, and his muscles were all tight with rage. The journalists, oblivious to the fact that they had pissed off a seven foot tall super soldier, continued to snap pictures of the human as if their life depended on it. Somewhat ironic, considering the circumstances.
When Jorge got to the base of the tall timber, he looked up towards the branches to see at least half a dozen photographers taking dozens of pictures of him. The Spartan looked down at the trunk of the tree, raised his leg, and kicked it as hard as he could. With a sickening snap, the wood at the base of the tree splintered as a massive crack traveled around the trunk. A few of the reporters were thrown out of the branches, and hit the ground around the human. Those that stayed yelped and clung onto the branches as the massive timber leaned back before collapsing onto the ground, sending branches and apples flying in all directions. The reporters poked their heads out of the mass of leaves, and looked towards Jorge, who was glaring at them in rage.
“Leave…” he growled, before lifting his foot and stomping on the trunk of the fallen tree, causing it to burst “…now.”
The photographers all scrambled onto their hooves, and bolted from the enraged human at speeds that would impress the Wonderbolts. Jorge couldn’t help but feel a hint of satisfaction at watching the irksome journalists flee from him. Taking a deep, calming breath, the Spartan turned around to head back to the barn, but stopped when he saw Applejack walking towards him. However, instead of wearing an expression of gratitude that he would have expected, Applejack looked positively horrified. The cowpony slowly, almost numbly, stepped towards the fallen tree, and gazed upon it with sorrow.
“What did you do?” she asked with no emotion in her voice.
“I got rid of the photographers for you,” answered the Spartan.
Applejack looked at Jorge furiously. “You just destroyed mah tree!”
“So? It’s just a tree. This is a massive farm, you have plenty of them.”
Applejack could only gape at the giant in front of her. It was well known throughout the community that the farmer treated her trees almost like members of the Apple family, and to even suggest harming one of them was unprecedented. After a few seconds of mournfully staring at the fallen tree, Jorge’s words were finally registered. “Just a tree?” she mumbled in disbelief. “Just a tree!?!”
The cowpony marched up to the Spartan, all rational thoughts replaced with pure anger. “That ain’t ‘just a tree,’ that’s our livelihood! Do you know how much time, sweat and blood it took tah grow that one tree!? Do you think we got it good here? DO YOU!? We can barely afford tah buy Apple Bloom her Celestia damned school supplies! We’re swimmin’ in so much debt that it’s a wonder we’ve managed tah keep this farm, mah family’s farm, from bein’ foreclosed! And every time an idjit like you comes here with yer fancy suit, and knocks down one of our trees, somethin’ we grew with nothin’ but our hooves and hard work, we feel that!!! Ah don’t care if it takes you yer whole damn life, but you sure as spit are gonna work on this farm until you pay fer this tree and the barn, and anythang else you break. I don’t care if you never go home again! Got it!?!”
Jorge said nothing throughout Applejack’s rant. He just stared at the pony, his face growing grimmer with every word lashed at him. Once the farmer had finished chewing him out, and was staring at Jorge with a heavy breath, the Spartan began marching back across the orchard, away from the barn and the Apple family home.
“Where do you think yer goin’?”
Jorge didn’t answer, he just kept moving.
“Hey ah asked you a question!” Applejack rushed forward, and stood in front of the soldier. Jorge looked down at the apple farmer coolly, his face not betraying the ire and frustration he was feeling.
“I’m leaving,” he answered before resuming his journey.
“You can’t leave. Yer not done here.”
“Try and stop me,” challenged Jorge.
“You need tah compensate me fer mah property!” cried out Applejack furiously.
Jorge stopped dead in his tracks. His helmet was all that kept the orange pony from seeing the irritation in his eyes. “No,” he stated firmly. “I will not participate in the moronic and unjustified activity to compensate you for your losses. I don’t know why your foolish bitch of a Princess decided that it was a good idea to force…” Jorge practically sneered at the word ‘force.’ “…me to work on your farm to make up for my own kidnapping. But I refuse to be a part of this ridiculous and shoehorned plan of hers. So you can tell her to come and inform me when she has found a way back home. Until then, stay the fuck away from me.”
With that, Jorge headed back to his home, leaving Applejack to stand there and watch him go. Before he was able to exit the orchard, Jorge was swarmed by the heard of reporters. He just ignored them and continued moving, hoping that they would get the hint and go away. Sadly, Jorge was woefully ignorant on the subject of the psychology of journalists, and so for the entire journey back to his new home, he was badgered by the strange land’s inhabitants. Just when he was about to arrive home and find what he hoped would be respite from the flashes and constant inquiries, he was greeted with a familiar, yet unpleasant sight. The clock tower was still surrounded by the makeshift city of tents, and there were hundreds of ponies milling about the camp.
Jorge realized that the group that had been following him from the farm was nothing but a small part of a larger entity. Before he could react, the residents of the camp noticed his presence and rushed towards him. The amount of bodies pressing against him, the voices screaming, the constant flashes, it was all so suffocating. Not that the human was claustrophobic by any means, but to have hundreds of ponies shoving against him, shouting at him, it left Jorge disoriented. He tried telling them to stop, but his voice was lost in the noise. He tried getting to his front door, which was less than a hundred meters from him, but the density of the crowd was too much for him to push through. But the noise, the constant yelling, questioning, and overall discord of the situation were what got him the most. Finally, he had enough.
“SHUT UP!!!”
The ponies, not expecting the outburst, all jumped back and scrambled away from the upset soldier. They all stared at him nervously, not sure how an enraged human might behave. Jorge turned around and looked at the crowd of ponies in confusion. Honestly, he had not expected that to have an effect, demonstrating to him that perhaps he was more menacing to the ponies then he had given himself credit for.
His musings were cut short by a bright flash. Jorge looked down to see a fuchsia pegasus standing in front of him with a camera out, pointed directly at him. Unlike his companions, this stallion was either too stupid or too valiant to be deterred by the human (or both). Feeling another surge of anger boil in him, Jorge snapped his arm out, and quickly snatched the camera away from the pony. Before the photographer could protest, Jorge crushed it in his palms with a sickening *crunch,* turning it into a small ball of metal and plastic, and making the stallion pale.
The soldier dropped the crumpled piece of plastic in front of the pony, and looked up towards the crowd. “The next person to ask me a question or to take my damn picture will have more than just their camera broken. Understood?”
The reporters stared at Jorge, expressions ranging from nervousness to pure terror.
“UNDERSTOOD!?!”
In a similar scene to that of Sweet Apple Acres not more than twenty minutes ago, the ponies all rushed away from the Spartan as fast as they could. Once the stampede had cleared and the dust had settled, all that remained was a field full of trampled tents, and a few belongings that were left behind. Jorge knew that they would be back soon, but he pushed that thought out of his mind and savored the silence of the now empty pasture. With another satisfied huff, the soldier lumbered into his new, unwelcoming home, approached his window, and looked at Equestria for what he hoped would be the last time before closing the curtains.
“Come on girls, what’s takin’ you?”
“Slow down Apple Bloom, I’m getting tired.”
The Cutie-Mark Crusaders had spent the entire day after school thinking of how they were going to interview the town’s new resident. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were so excited with the assignment and the idea of interviewing an alien that they had failed to notice that their orange companion was less enthused with the prospect. News of the human taking up residence in the clock tower had spread through the town like wildfire, and everypony in the village had pretty much decided to avoid that part of the town at all costs. The Crusaders on the other hand, had different plans.
Now, with a clear destination in mind, the Crusaders hiked up the hill towards said tower with the hopes of meeting the mysterious recluse that was Ponyville’s resident alien. Scootaloo however, lagged behind her two friends, chewing on her hooves nervously the entire way.
“Ah’m sorry Sweetie Belle,” said Apple Bloom as she slowed down for her tired friend. “Ah’m just so excited tah see this human feller. Imagine; we’ll be the first ponies ever tah interview a human! How neat is that?”
“Are you okay Scootaloo? You’ve been acting funny lately,” observed Sweetie.
“I’m not scared!” blurted out the pegasus.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both stopped and stared worriedly at their friend. “Uh…I never said you were.”
“Well I’m not! Let’s just go okay.” With a huff, the orange filly marched ahead of her confused friends. The trio continued their journey without talking, with the exception of Scootaloo, who was angrily muttering to herself. The silence however, was eventually broken by Apple Bloom.
“Hey, is that…Featherweight?”
Off down the road, covered in sweat, and tugging some sort of primitive tape recorder, was a familiar looking white, brown maned pegasus. Featherweight was wearing a fedora that was two sizes too large, had a camera hanging around his neck, and was trying to pull the massive recorder up a small incline. The device was almost larger than the colt and was throwing up clouds of dust whenever the petit pony gave it a pull.
“Whatcha doin’!?”
“Gah!” The colt jumped a few feet in the air in surprise and landed on his face. He got up to find Sweetie Belle grinning at him. “Uh…nothing.”
“Why are you wearin’ that fancy hat?” asked Apple Bloom. “And why are you draggin’ this here recorder?”
“I’m…” Featherweight was cut off by the fedora falling over his eyes. With an annoyed grunt, he pushed it back on his head. “Stupid hat. I’m going to do my interview for school.”
“We were gonna go interview our huma- pony too,” explained Apple Bloom. “And it’s gonna be the coolest, most awesome interview ever!”
“Really? Who are you guys going to interview?”
Before the young Apple could tell the junior reporter that was none of his beeswax, Sweetie Belle cut in. “We’re gonna interview that human everypony’s talking about!” exclaimed the unicorn smugly, causing her yellow friend to face-hoof.
“But you can’t! I’m going to interview the human!” blurted out Featherweight before he could stop himself.
Apple Bloom stared at Featherweight in surprise. She never would have thought that another pony would even think about interviewing the alien. “But we’re gonna interview him! We got here first.”
“Did not!”
“Did too!
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Did not times infinity!”
“Shoot!” cursed Apple Bloom in the face of such a persuasive argument. She needed a way to convince Featherweight to let them interview the withdrawn human instead of him. Fortunately, Apple Bloom came up with a plan that would do just that. It was daring, risky, and there was no guarantee that it would work; but if she pulled it off then they would be the ones talking to the alien. She prepared herself. What she had in store for Featherweight would require a high amount of precision and cunning. Apple Bloom would have to manipulate Featherweight in a way she had never thought possible, but all the same, she decided to go for it anyways. Taking a deep breath, the young Apple steeled her nerves.
“OH MAH GOSH!!! WHAT IS THAT,” she screamed, as she pointed to something behind the colt.
“What!?” The young pegasus turned around in fright.
“Run girls!” shouted Apple Bloom to her confused friends, before taking off towards the clock tower as fast as she could. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo gave each other bewildered glances before following after their excited companion.
“Hey!” shouted Featherweight. He tried to run after the fillies but was held back by the massive recorder he was tied too. The colt chased the girls anyways; grunting, wheezing, and dragging the box behind him all the way. He realized that there was no way he could beat them to the human’s abode, but the pegasus was nothing if not persistent, and so he continued up the road regardless. When he finally got to the top of the last hill before the tower (a hill which he would come to loathe), he was surprised to see the Cutie-Mark Crusaders at the top, not moving.
“Hey, what are you…” the infuriated colt trailed off when he got a look at the tower.
“Whoa…” murmured Sweetie Belle.
Surrounding the tower, were hundreds of abandoned tents. Most were trampled and had become nothing more than pieces ripped of cloth and wood that had been left in the mud. A few however, were still erect, and were full of bags, notebooks, typewriters and other belongings, demonstrating the haste in which the residents left.
“Wow…what do you think this is?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Looks like some ponies were camping but disappeared,” murmured Featherweight, his anger at the CMC having dissipated. “What do you think Scootaloo?”
“I…I…I…” was all the trembling pegasus could utter. Her eyes had shrunk to the size of pinpricks, and her complexion had become pale.
“Do…do you think the human did this?”
The children stared nervously at the ghost town in front of them, each one glancing apprehensively at the now menacing clock tower. However, none were more nervous than Scootaloo, who was slowly backing away from her friends, hyperventilating in fear.
“Scootaloo, what are you doing?”
“W-we g-gotta get out of h-h-here,” replied the pegasus as she continued to back away. “We shouldn’t have come here.”
“Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom, her voice laced with concern. “Are you sure yer not scared?”
Scootaloo’s eyes shifted between the other Crusaders and Featherweight. A battle was raging within her, between her pride and her fear. Eventually, pride gave in. “YES!!!” she screeched. “Okay, happy now? I’m scared. I’m a big, fat scaredy cat! But how are you guys not scared!?! There’s a human in there!”
“So?” asked Featherweight.
Scootaloo stared at him like he was a moron. “So? Don’t you know anything about humans? Their all monsters that eat foals, and you want to go talk to one!”
“What are you talkin’ about?” asked Apple Bloom, genuinely puzzled.
Her orange friend sighed in frustration. “Ever since I was little, my mom told me stories about knights going on adventures, rescuing princesses from monsters, all that junk.” Scootaloo blushed slightly, embarrassed that she had once enjoyed something so childish. “They were all sorts of monsters: Chimeras, Ursa Majors, Hydras, Dragons, and…Humans.” Her companion’s eyes widened in shock. “Haven’t your parents ever told you about humans?” asked Scootaloo.
“Well,” began Apple Bloom. “Now that you mention it, Granny Smith once told me a story about humans attackin’ a village when ah was little; and how a wizard used magic tah send them back tah Tartarus. But that’s just an old mare’s tale…right?”
“Of course not!” cried Scootaloo. “Look at all the tents! I bet that it ate all those ponies. Why do you think all their stuff’s still there?”
Apple Bloom couldn’t come up with a reason for it. Eventually it became obvious that the only rational explanation possible was that the mysterious alien had eaten hundreds of ponies without anypony finding out.
“Well!” announced the yellow filly. “Good luck with yer homework Featherweight. Ah’m gonna go interview Granny Smith. Hope ya’ll don’t get eaten!”
“Uh…” The white colt looked uncertainly at the rows of tents before him. Suddenly, the prospect of interviewing the human seamed all the more daunting to him. Still, the little aspiring journalist took a long gulp, and began to slowly descend the hill towards the empty camp grounds.
“Featherweight, where are you goin’.”
“I’m going to interview the human for Miss Cheerilee,” he replied, his voice conveying more confidence than he actually felt.
“What!? Ah was just kiddin’ Featherweight. You can’t be serious about seein’ this thang?”
“Yeah,” agreed Scootaloo, who was looking at the white colt with worry. “Don’t be stupid.”
Featherweight stopped, and stared out to the clock tower before him. He remained silent while the three girls behind him glanced questioningly at each other.
“My dad’s a reporter,” he said suddenly, while he continued gazing out in front of him. “Ever since I could remember, I’ve wanted to be just like him.” The young pegasus turned around to face the Crusaders. “He once told me that it was a reporter’s job to tell the truth. To find a story and tell it, no matter how dangerous it may be, because it’s their job…our job, to keep ignorance at bay. Ever since he told me that, I’ve wanted to be a reporter more than anything in the world. That’s why I have to do this.”
The Cutie-Mark Crusaders just stared at Featherweight, shocked that such a timid pony could conjure such a solemn and moving speech on the higher cause of something as mundane as an elementary school project. Featherweight motioned to head back down to the clock tower, when he was blindsided by something orange. He looked down to see Scootaloo giving him a bone crushing hug.
“That was so cool,” she said into his back. “You’re the bravest colt I’ve ever met.” Suddenly, Scootaloo realized what she was doing, and recoiled from Featherweight, blushing furiously. “I-I-I mean, good luck… uh…squirt.” She saw that Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were practically leering at her with deviously knowing smiles. “S-s-shut up!”
Featherweight, meanwhile, could not stop grinning stupidly, while a light blush tinting his cheeks. He didn’t know why, but he was suddenly feeling great. Soon his mind, which had been scrambled by Scootaloo’s hug, managed to get under control, and the result was that he was given an air of confidence. He looked at the Crusaders one last time, puffed his chest, raised his head, and resumed his march towards the alien’s home, dragging the burdensome recorder on the way. As self-assured as he appeared however, his thoughts were much less comforting:
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH!!! Featherweight you idiot! What the heck was that all about!? Where the hay did that whole speech come from!? Your dad’s a stinking food critic for Pete’s sakes! What does he know about risking your life for the sake of truth, or any of that nonsense!? Now you’re gonna get eaten by a monster! But you can’t turn back now. Oh no. If you do that then you’re going to look like a scaredy cat in front of Scootaloo! Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid…
While this was going on, the Cutie-Mark Crusaders were staring at Featherweight with a kind of morbid fascination, akin to the way a crowd would watch an execution. Apple Bloom couldn’t take the tension any longer. “Aw horse apples,” she swore. “What are we doin’ up here? Come on girls, we can’t just let him go down there and be eaten. We gotta go with him!”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo remained still however, both less then eager to join the colt. “Come on guys!” insisted the earth pony. “Scootaloo, you can’t just stand there and watch Featherweight get eaten. We gotta do somethang!”
Scootaloo’s eyes shifted between Featherweight and Apple Bloom judging gaze. “Fine,” she finally choked out. “Let’s go help him.”
“Come on Sweetie!”
“Uh…” The white unicorn was less sure than her companions, but followed anyways. Soon the Crusaders caught up with the colt, who was surprised to see them with him. He was relieved to have them there, so decided not to question it. Walking through the empty camp grounds was eerie; there was something foreboding about the abandoned settlement, so the children quickly picked up the pace. Sooner than they would have liked however, they arrived at the entrance to the beast’s home. The door seemed much larger to them than it actually was, and the group was reluctant to approach it. Featherweight unharnessed himself from the large tape recorder, and moved toward the door. With a shaky hoof, he lightly tapped on the wood; softly enough that even Fluttershy would’ve considered it timid.
“Well this was nice, guess no one’s home, darn it,” he said as he backed away from the door. “And here I was hoping to uncover the truth and whatnot, but I guess you can’t do that when no one’s home.”
He was stopped by Apple Bloom, who glared at him intensely. “What the hay was that? This is how you knock.” The earth pony marched up to the door, and gave it a couple of good smacks, causing the rest of her entourage to pale. Despite being initially frightened by Scootaloo’s rant, Apple Bloom had become less certain about her friend’s claims. She had overheard Applejack mentioning Jorge a few days ago, and he didn’t sound all that evil. Still, the filly backed away from the door cautiously.
At first nothing happened. The group just looked at each other nervously as they waited for it to open. They were about turn around and forget about the whole affair, when all of a sudden the sound of various locks being clicked open was heard from the other side. The children froze. Scootaloo’s blood drained from her face, Apple Bloom and Featherweight instinctively took a step back, and Sweetie gave a soft ‘eep.’ They stared at the door in fright, waiting for some sort of demon to walk out, eager to eat them. The wood slowly slid inward, and the hinges gave a long, sharp, menacing squeal.
What came out was unlike anything they had ever seen.
The human was tall. Too tall. Featherweight had never seen anything so tall in his life. It was easily over seven feet. Apart from tall, the other word that came to mind when looking at the human was bald. It had hair, that was for sure, but it was all patchy and disheveled on parts of his face. His mane was also oddly short. Another aspect that stood out was its clothing. Aside from its bald head, it was entirely clad in what looked like some sort of armor. But it wasn’t sleek or elegant like the pictures of Royal Guards Featherweight had seen in story books. This was bulging and cumbersome. As he gawked at the creature before him, the colt couldn’t help but wonder how it managed to move in the suit. By all rights it should have been falling over from the weight of the orange armor.
The human walked out with a mean scowl on its face, and a look that suggested he was going to punish whoever had the gall to disturb him. This did not boost the colt’s confidence one bit. However, when the human looked down at the scared children at his feet, his face softened into an irritated frown. Featherweight and the Crusaders just stared in horror at the biped, too intimidated to say anything. The young colt felt a little foolish just staring at the human, but whenever he tried to say anything, his voice got caught in his throat, and his mouth would go dry. He figured that the Crusaders were in a similar situation, since they hadn’t said anything either. So the young ponies reacted the same way most ponies had invariably reacted when confronted with the alien: They stared dumbly.
“Yes?” asked the human harshly, almost causing the children in front of him to jump out of their skin in fright.
“Um…uh…I…uh…” stuttered Featherweight.
The human sighed in mild irritation, and retreated back into his home.
“Wait!” called out the small colt before the human could close the door. The alien hesitated and looked back down at the pegasus expectantly. “Uh…excuse me m-m-mister human. My n-name is Featherweight and…uh…these are the Crusaders and…er…could we interview you?”
“Interview?” The human’s frown deepened.
Featherweight nodded furiously. The human looked at the fillies standing behind the white colt. Apple Bloom looked at him curiously, trying to examine every inch of the biped. Sweetie Belle was nervously trying to look at anything besides the extraterrestrial, but her gaze always returned to the armored human. Scootaloo meanwhile was trying not to shake too much.
Stop being such a scaredy cat! She berated herself. I’m Scootaloo! Second most awesome pony in Equestria. I’m not scared of anything. When she stole a glance at the human, and saw that it was staring right at her, she let out a frightened (and adowable) squeak.
The human looked back down at Featherweight, who was eying him hopefully, albeit a little anxiously. “I don’t do interviews,” answered the biped curtly, before slamming the door on the poor colt.
“But…b-but…Miss Cheerilee…” the pegasus trailed off lamely as he hung his head in disappointment. Yes, he was relieved that he wasn’t eaten alive by some alien/mythological monster. But despite this, a younger, more whimsical part of him was positively giddy at the chance of interviewing a being from another world. To have that opportunity literally slammed in his face was heart-breaking. He was so disappointed in fact, that he almost didn’t notice Apple Bloom stomp up to the door angrily.
“Uh…Apple Bloom. What are you doing?” asked Scootaloo nervously as her yellow friend approached the behemoth’s home.
“Ah’m gonna give this big ‘ol jerk a piece of mah mind,” answered the filly resolutely.
“Oh, okay. For a minute there I thou- wait WHAT!?!”
Before Scootaloo or the others could stop her, the yellow filly marched right up to the door, and angrily knocked on it as hard as she could.
“I don’t do interviews.” Jorge slammed the door shut, and sighed heavily. The reporters from yesterday had fortunately not bothered him since his outburst, but now it seemed his luck had run out. Now they’re sending children? Scumbags…
Jorge was about to head back into his living room to continue reading the book on Equestrian history he had started, when he heard the last thing he wanted to hear at that moment: Another knock on the door. The Spartan tensed, and grinded his teeth. He was very tempted to just ignore it. He should have ignored it; he already made his position very clear.
Looks like I wasn’t clear enough.
Opening the door for the second time that day, the soldier once again looked down at the children at his doorstep. This time the yellow one had stepped forward in front of Featherweight, and was looking at Jorge in anger. Not real anger, Jorge could tell. It was a child’s rage, utterly harmless (and, again, somewhat adowable). The human expected the pony to cower away as soon as she reminded of how large he was. Much to his surprise, instead she began to yell at him.
“Just who do you think you are!?” asked the yellow filly, punctuating each word with a prod to the Spartan’s leg. “We came here and asked you tah help us with our school project all polite like, and you go and slam the door in poor Featherweight’s face.”
“I-i-it’s really n-no big d-dea-”
“You coulda just said no nicely!” shouted the enraged filly. “You didn’t have tah be so rude. Apologize tah him right now!” The young girl glared at the human in front of her. As her anger slowly dissipated, so did her confidence. It wasn’t long before the earth pony realized that she had not only yelled at a seven foot tall alien that for all she knew ate ponies, but insulted him as well. In the wake of this rather enlightening realization, the earth pony quickly wilted away, and took a step back. “Uh…you know…if…you want to,” she finished meekly.
Jorge eyed the previously explosive pony with amusement. He looked at the rest of the group. The white unicorn was trying to look as small as possible. Featherweight kept glancing between Jorge and his hooves, looking like he was waiting for the right moment to flee. The orange pegasus was still shivering, staring at the Spartan like some sort of demon who was about to attack. She looked like she wanted to leave, however, she seemed like she was utterly incapable of doing so. And finally, the yellow filly looked at the human nervously, waiting for his reaction. It must have taken a lot for the petite pony to muster enough courage to confront him, and oddly Jorge couldn’t help but feel a hint of respect for the child.
“You got guts I’ll give you that,” snorted the human with a barely noticeable smirk. “More than those damned reporters anyways.”
“Does…does that mean you’ll let us interview you fer school?” asked the previously enraged filly with a tentative smile.
School? “Hmmm…” hummed Jorge pensively. “…No.”
“But you said-!”
“That you had guts. I didn’t say anything about letting you ask me any questions for…what’s this for again?”
“It’s homework for school,” answered Featherweight. “We’re learning about different sources of information, so we have to interview somepony.” Jorge noticed that so far, only he and yellow one had dared to address him.
“That’s sounds like a silly assignment,” he stated whilst he examined the silent fillies.
“Duh, it’s homework. All homework is stupid,” muttered the colt bitterly to himself. “Don’t aliens go to school?”
The question caught Jorge off guard. Yeah, except our education includes spec ops training…
“Well, in any case, I can’t help you. Ask someone else.” Jorge took a step back, and started closing the door.
“B-but the h–h-h-homework is due tomorrow!”
The soldier stopped when he heard an unfamiliar voice. This time it had been the white one that had spoken up. “Oh, is that so?” asked the Spartan.
Now that he thought of it, this was the most entertaining thing to happen to him all day. He hadn’t left his house since he scared off all those meddlesome journalists, and no one had bothered him since. It had been a relief to be able to get some peace and quiet from the horses, at least at first. But staying in his house quickly became dull, and he honestly found messing with these kids to be infinitely more amusing than reading any of the books the ponies had left him.
“Yeah!” said the unicorn with more confidence. “Please let us interview you Mr. Human.” The white unicorn then proceeded to pull out the most disarming puppy eyes that any living creature had ever used… ever. Small tears shimmered under her massive eyes as her pleading stare bore into the human. It was a look that would melt the heart of the most cynical, jaded, and cold-hearted person on any planet anywhere. Entire wars would be stopped for that adorable stare. Any monarch, no matter how strong willed, would bend their back to appease the almost fatal levels of cuteness that was being displayed by the unicorn. In short, one could weaponize that kind of adorableness.
And it had absolutely no effect on Jorge whatsoever. “No. Now this has been fun and all, but you should really go.”
“What about the apology you owe Featherweight?”
How many ponies have asked me for apologies since I got here?
“Tell you what, first you leave, and then I’ll apologize.”
“Alright, first let us interview you, and then we’ll leave,” replied the yellow filly with a sly grin.
The sheer tenacity of the young pony's reply caught Jorge so off guard that he couldn’t help but chuckle. Jesus! The balls on this one…
“Why is this apology so important to you?”
“Because he’s mah friend,” answered the filly resolutely. “And ah learned that you have tah stand up for yer friends when their being bullied.”
Behind the yellow filly, Jorge could see that Featherweight was staring at her in confusion, while mouthing the words ‘I am?’ He looked back down towards the tenacious earth pony in front of him, who was holding her ground confidently. But the Spartan could still see uncertainty behind that confidence. Giving the pony a small smile, the large soldier bent down on one knee to try and get to eye level with the filly (although, he was still easily twice her size).
His initial movement caused the equines to jump slightly, and the yellow one took a nervous step back. To her credit though, she was the only one of them who didn’t flinch. Once the height difference between her and Jorge had been partially rectified, the human outstretched his hand to her.
“Alright, little one. You have a deal. But you had better make it quick. And no photos.” He pointed to the camera that hung around Featherweight’s neck.
The filly looked at Jorge’s hands somewhat uncertainly, but eventually she stretched her hoof out, allowing him to shake it. Once that was concluded, Jorge went back into his home, leaving a group of very confused ponies to stand outside, and glance at each other doubtfully.
“What are you waiting for? I told you to make it quick,” called Jorge from inside the house. The ponies all passed through the front door with varying levels of trepidation. Naturally, the yellow pony passed through with only a brief second of hesitation. Featherweight followed after a few moments of internal deliberation, although he quickly became too preoccupied lugging the strange device strapped to him to worry about the human. The white unicorn looked uncertainly between the doorway and the orange pegasus, before gulping loudly, closing her eyes, and taking the proverbial ‘leap of faith.’
The orange pegasus meanwhile, was staring at the entrance of the house like it featured the words ‘Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here’
“I’m not going to bite, you know,” Jorge said to the terrified mare from inside the house. The words were less than comforting, as the filly looked more uncertain than ever. Still, the child shakily took as step forward, then another. Before long she had passed the threshold. When the door closed behind her however, she seemed to pale even more than before, which Jorge had not thought possible. Sighing and shaking his head, the Spartan led the group to his spacious living room. He couldn’t help but smirk at the look of the children’s faces as they walked through his home. In truth, his lodgings were rather mundane, yet the ponies were examining every inch of the foyer in wide eyed wonder. He supposed it was a natural reaction. Considering he was a creature of myth in this land, everything associated to him must have carried an air of whimsy for the ponies.
“Sit wherever you like,” said Jorge when they entered his living room. The ponies looked at the furniture strangely. It had all been designed for the human in mind (he still had no idea how the Princess had managed to acquire the special furniture in such little time). The Spartan watched in amusement as the yellow pony tried to climb onto the tall couch, only to fall onto her rump and mutter angrily to herself. Eventually, his guests had all managed to seat themselves somewhat comfortably. Again, with the exception of the orange, purple maned filly, who looked so terrified she could hardly move. Instead she opted to stand ramrod stiff next to the couch where her companions had settled themselves.
“Would you like something to drink?” offered Jorge.
Just to keep things varied, the ponies looked uncertainly to each other. Jorge couldn’t blame them though. The situation must be as bizarre to them as it was to him.
“Uh…sure,” said Featherweight.
“What would you like? I have tea, milk, water, soda…”
“Do you have… coffee?”
Jorge raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little young?”
“Hey! I’m ten. I mean…*ahem*…I’m ten!” said Featherweight, forcing out a deeper voice.
“Do you drink coffee?”
“All the t-time,” replied the colt, his fake voice cracking a bit.
“And you three?” asked Jorge, addressing the fillies.
“No… thank you,” stammered the yellow one. The white unicorn just shook her head, while the orange one, unsurprisingly, remained silent.
“Okay.”
Jorge headed into the kitchen and began preparing the coffee. While he did so, the ponies seated in the living room could do little else but fidget uncomfortably. Eventually the orange pegasus appeared to have calmed down enough to join her companions on the couch. Finally, after what Jorge could only assume felt like an eternity for the young ones, the coffee pot let out a piercing cry, indicating that the brew had been finished. Jorge filled up two mugs and returned to the adjacent room. After handing the pegasus his drink, the Spartan sat down on the armchair in front of them.
Featherweight stared at the mug in front of him with a poorly concealed grimace. When the pegasus tried a sip of his brew, he immediately started gagging, causing Jorge to chuckle and shake his head.
Just like human children, mused the soldier. Always so eager to grow up…
“I prefer tea myself,” said Jorge to the nauseated pony as he took a sip of his coffee. “So, you said you have questions for me?”
“Oh uh, yeah. Sweetie Belle, pull out the sheet Miss Cheerilee gave us.”
The unicorn gave the yellow filly a puzzled look. “I thought you brought them.”
“What!? Ah told you tah take ‘em back when were at yer sister’s shop.”
“Um…I have a copy sheet,” offered Featherweight meekly.
Jorge looked between the fillies and the sheepish colt. “I thought you were a group.”
“Not…exactly,” explained ‘Sweetie Belle.’ “We were kind of… um…racing to see who could get to you first and…well…”
That sounds familiar, thought the human. When did I get so popular?
“Well, in any case, I don’t think it makes much of a difference. Just ask me your questions.”
“Would you mind if I recorded the interview?” asked Featherweight as he tinkered with the wooden box he had hauled into the building. It didn’t take Jorge much time to deduce that it was some sort of crude recording device. In fact, now that he thought about it, he could see that it looked eerily familiar to early, human recording technology.
“Yes, I would,” answered Jorge bluntly.
“But you said-”
“That you can’t take pictures? Well you can’t tape me either.” Jorge flashed the colt a challenging look. “Take it or leave it.”
“But I…the hill…twenty kilos…heavy…” spluttered Featherweight pleadingly. Much to his displeasure, Jorge didn’t budge. The frustrated pegasus kicked the box, and grumbled to himself before pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.
“Fine,” he sighed. “Question one: wha-” The colt was cut off when his fedora fell over his eyes again, much to Jorge’s amusement. The pegasus groaned and lifted the hat back on top of his head. “Stupid hat. Sorry. Question one, what is your name.”
I’m getting the strangest sense of déjà vu, thought Jorge. “My full name is Jorge Zero Fifty-Two, but you may call me Jorge.”
Jorge carefully observed Featherweight write down notes. So far, he had only seen Twilight write, and that was with the help of her telekinesis. He was curious as to how a pegasus or earth pony would take down notes. Much to his surprise, the colt put the pencil in his mouth, and began using that to write. More surprising still, when Jorge glanced over at the notepad he could see that the writing was not only perfectly legible, but very neat as well.
“That’s a weird name,” said the one called Sweetie Belle none too tactfully.
“Do all humans have numbers in their names?” asked the yellow filly.
“No. I’m just a very special kind of human. Most human names consist of a first name, which is generally reserved for close friends and family, and family names or surnames, which everyone in that family shares, and is generally used to address acquaintances or strangers. My first name is Jorge…”
“…and your last name is Zero Fifty-Two? Is everyone in your family called Zero Fifty-Two?” asked Sweetie Belle, who, along with Featherweight and the yellow filly, had quickly become at ease with the human’s presence.
“No. We all have numbers in our name, but they’re not all the same. I come from a very special family.”
While this conversation was going on, Featherweight was jotting down notes furiously.
“What about you? You know my name, now I think I have a right to know yours.”
“That’s Sweetie Belle,” said the yellow mare as she pointed to the white unicorn sitting next to her. Sweetie Belle smiled shyly and gave Jorge a small wave, to which he responded with an encouraging smile himself. “You already know that he’s Featherweight,” continued the filly. “She’s Scootaloo.” The earth pony indicated to the orange pegasus who, while no longer rendered paralyzed with fear, was still staring anxiously at Jorge. “And mah name is Apple Bloom.”
Wait, Applebloom? thought Jorge. And… the accent. There’s no way…
“You wouldn’t happen to be related to a Miss Applejack, would you?”
Apple Bloom beamed at the question. “Uh course ah am!” she answered proudly in her distinctive southern twang. “She’s mah sister. Ah’m an Apple, born and raised.”
Jorge nodded his head in understanding. That explains a lot.
“Do you know mah sister?”
Jorge’s expression soured. “Yeah, I know her.” Apple Bloom didn’t notice his change in demeanor however, no doubt thinking about how awesome it was that her sister was acquainted with an alien. “So, what’s the next question?”
Featherweight looked down at his notepad. “How long have you lived in Ponyville?” Jorge looked at the colt with a deadpanned expression. “Uh…I’ll put a week,” muttered the pegasus sheepishly. “Question three, how old are you?”
“Forty-one.”
“Is…is that old for a human?”
“Not particularly,” explained Jorge. “It’s somewhat younger than halfway the average human’s lifespan.”
“Question four: What is your cutie-mark, and if you want you can tell us how you got it?” At this, Jorge noticed that the fillies perked up and leaned closer with interest. Even Scootaloo appeared curious. He remembered the intoxicated mare from yesterday mention something about a ‘cutie-mark.’ As far as he could tell it had something to do with the marks these ponies had on their flanks. It was only now that Jorge noticed that the fillies in front of him lacked said mark, yet Featherweight had a distinct picture of a feather on his flank.
“I don’t think I have one,” he said. “I don’t really know what a cutie-mark is.”
It took the fillies a few seconds to process what was said. “You don’t have a cutie-mark?” asked Sweetie in disbelief. “But…but you’re so old.”
“Thank you for reminding me,” laughed Jorge.
The white unicorn flushed in embarrassment. “Sorry. I mean that…well, we thought you were supposed to get you cutie-marks when you were…you know…a kid.”
“I don’t think human’s get cutie-marks. First I think I should know what a cutie-mark is though. Is it the markings on everyone’s flanks?”
“Uh-huh. A cutie-mark is a mark that appears on yer flanks when you find yer special talent,” explained Apple Bloom.
“It just appears. Just like that? How?”
“Magic,” answered Featherweight.
Of course, sighed Jorge mentally.
“Wait, if humans don’t get cutie-marks, how do you know what your special talent is?” asked Sweetie.
Jorge’s eyebrow rose quizzically. “What do you mean by special talent?”
“You know…what you’re naturally good at.”
“You mean to say that ponies are born naturally good at something, and that they determine what this thing is when an image of it appears on their flank?”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both nodded.
“Well that certainly is convenient,” muttered Jorge. “We humans don’t get cutie-marks. Hell, we’re not all even born naturally talented at something.” The children stared at Jorge in horror, particularly the fillies.
“But…but…does that mean humans are good at…nothing?” asked Featherweight.
“Hardly,” chuckled Jorge. “Like I said, some of us are born with natural talents.”
“Then how do the rest of you… you know…find jobs?”
“We generally train in a specific field we particularly enjoy or find interesting,” explained the human. “I take it that your cutie-mark usually determines what you do for a living?” The children’s nods confirmed Jorge’s suspicion.
“Geez! You humans are weird,” said Featherweight as he scribbled on his notepad.
Says the talking pegasus who writing with a pen in his mouth, thought Jorge. “What’s the next question?”
“What’s your job?”
“I’m living off welfare,” grumbled the Spartan.
“Huh?”
“I don’t have a job here. Remember? Creature of myth and all that.”
“Well I have to write something,” complained the colt. “What did you do at…wherever you came from?”
“I’m a soldier.”
“A what?”
“A soldier.”
The white pegasus gave Jorge a blank stare. Judging from the puzzled looks the others were giving him, Jorge could pretty much see that they had no idea what he was talking about. These ponies don’t have any soldiers at all? Do they even have a standing military? What about those armored ponies that were with the Princess? Jorge took a moment to think about how he could explain the concept of a soldier to the children.
“I protect people,” he answered finally. “I fight bad guys, and keep people safe.”
“Oh, like a Royal Guard?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Something like that.”
“Cooooooool,” she cooed.
“Alright then, that was five questions. Anything else?”
“Um… it says here that now we’re supposed to ask you five questions that we came up with,” explained Featherweight. “So…did any of you guys think of any?” He looked at the fillies next to him, who all shook their heads embarrassedly.
“What if you each ask me a question, then we’ll figure out what to do about the fifth?” suggested Jorge. “Just try to come up with them quickly; I’d like to get through with this as soon as possible.”
“That sounds alright,” said Apple Bloom. “Who wants to go fir-?”
“Do you eat ponies!?” blurted out Scootaloo, who immediately shoved her hooves in her mouth, shocked that she had snapped so recklessly like that. Her friends were gawked at her in disbelief.
Jorge however, simply stared at her with concealed annoyance, and a raised eyebrow. “No,” he answered curtly. He sighed tiredly. Throughout most of his life he was treated as some sort of freak, usually not openly, but there was no escaping the fact that he was different to most humans. The way these ponies treated him like a monster so openly only helped to exacerbate that fact. “What on Earth would make you think I eat ponies?” he asked, although he already knew the answer.
Scootaloo shifted uncomfortably under the human’s scrutiny. “I just…all the stories said that humans ate ponies.”
“That’s all they are. Just stories. I promise…Scootaloo was it…?” Scootaloo nodded, “…I promise that I have never eaten a pony, and have no plans of doing so in the future.” Jorge gave the filly a comforting smile. How could he blame a child for her own ignorance?
Scootaloo returned the smile tentatively and calmed down after that.
“Oh, my turn, my turn!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle enthusiastically. “Where do you come from?”
“I come from a planet called Reach.”
“Where’s that?”
“I’m sorry; I’ve just answered your question,” said Jorge with a cheeky smirk.
“Wha-? B- that’s not fair!” cried Sweetie.
“Well, life’s not fair.”
Sweetie looked at Jorge in disbelief, before pouting at him with some of the left over adorableness from earlier. Jorge chuckled and shook his head. “All right, I’ll make an exception for you, just once though. I don’t really know where Reach is relative to Equestria. Ponies keep asking me where I come from, but I can’t really offer them more than that. Let’s just say I come from very, very far away. Alright, whose turn is it now?”
“Oh, ah know!” said Apple Bloom with a devious grin. “Do you have a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves day next week?”
“I take it that by ‘special somepony’ you mean like a romantic relationship with somebody?”
Apple Bloom nodded.
“No, I’ve never had a special somepony. What’s ‘Hearts and…Hooves day was it?”
“Hearts and Hooves day is the most romantic, most special day of the year!” explained Sweetie with slightly starry eyes. “It’s a day where you ask somepony to be your special somepony, and you spend the whole day doing stuff together, like holding hooves and nuzzling.”
Sweetie squeezed her cheeks together at the thought, while Apple Bloom stared off in deep thought, a light blush on her cheeks. Scootaloo meanwhile stuck her tongue out. and pointed her hoof towards her mouth to make a gagging motion. Most amusing of all, Jorge noticed that Featherweight kept shifting his eyes towards the orange pegasus; his cheeks flushing brightly.
“No,” repeated Jorge. “I don’t have a special somepony. Alright Featherweight, it’s your turn.”
“Hmmm…why don’t y-” The pegasus was once again interrupted when his fedora fell over his eyes. “Ah! Stupid hat! Sorry, I was just gonna ask, why don’t you go into town that much? I know you’ve only been here for like a week, but you’re still kinda a mystery to everypony. That’s sorta why we chose you for our project.”
Jorge paused to think before answering right away. “When I opened the door, what was the first thing you thought?”
“Uh…big.”
“Okay, what was the second thing? You can be honest, I won’t get mad.”
Featherweight fidgeted uncomfortably on the couch. “I thought you were going to eat me…” he whispered. Scootaloo looked down to the ground guiltily, while the other fillies rubbed their legs awkwardly.
“Exactly. Whenever I have met someone new, more often than not they usually panic and call me a monster. Because of those legends about humans, you all seem to think I eat ponies and love destroying villages. It’s damned irritating. You ponies are just too prejudice for me to go anywhere near town. That’s why I want nothing to do with your community, or its population.” Jorge blinked and realized the children had leaned back away from him nervously. That’s when he realized how bitter his voice had gotten by the end of his rant.
“But you’re still talking to us,” pointed out Featherweight meekly.
It was true. Jorge had always felt sympathy towards children, something which had won him a large amount of ire from other Spartans. After years of seeing orphans weep over the charred remains of their parents, or young boys forced to fight and die in the more rural and isolated zones of UNSC controlled territory, Jorge had developed a naturally protective nature towards children. As far as he could tell, the ponies where almost exactly alike to human kids, and where no more responsible for their parents mistakes then human children were of theirs.
Jorge shrugged. “I guess there are exceptions to every rule. It was mostly because I didn’t want you bothering me all day with your homework. That still doesn’t change the fact that I have no plans on going into town or of making friends for as long as I’m stranded in ‘Candy Land.’”
The children looked at each other sullenly before staring at the carpet somewhat sadly. Featherweight looked back up at the Spartan shyly. “Mister Jorge, I know the last question I wanna ask.”
“Go ahead.”
“Don’t you…I mean do…do you consider us…your friends?”
The question caught Jorge off guard. He had never thought that the kids would consider him more than just a helpful acquaintance at most, certainly most of the members of his race would require more before declaring friendship. The way the ponies looked at him, it was almost as if they felt hurt by his casual declaration of anti-socialism.
Jorge stared at the fillies and colt before him. He gave them a small, gentle smile. “Sure.”
“Really?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Why not, you’ll be my first group of friends of Equestria.” Well, technically my second friends of Equestria…I guess.
The ponies beamed happily at the soldier, while he smiled back. Finally, it was Scootaloo who broke the silence.
“Wait ‘till Rainbow Dash hears we’re friends with an alien!”
“Alright, fine.”
Spike made his way down the stairs of Ponyville’s library down to the basement. Twilight was having some sort of meeting with Applejack, Rarity, and Luna, and he knew that they were talking about Jorge. He wanted to hear what was going on, but Twilight sternly reminded him that he had neglected to do his chores the past few days, so he was forced to grab a feather duster and try to clean the vortex of dirt and grime that was the basement of Golden Oaks.
It was quite a herculean task.
Still, the dragon dusted away. As he did so, he accidentally nudged a large book from its shelf, creating a dust cloud that sprang into his face suddenly. With a cacophonous sneeze, Spike was thrown back into one of the book shelves, sending over a dozen tomes to fall on his head.
Oh come on! This is the second time this week, he thought grumpily. As he dug himself out of the pile of reading material, and rubbed his sore head, he noticed something glimmer out of the corner of his eye.
In the dark he couldn't quite make out what it was, some sort of ball perhaps? He reached out, and grabbed the sphere in his claw.
Huh, must’ve fallen out of the shelf.
Bringing the ball up to his eyes, he make out that it was some sort of shade of blue and perfectly smooth. But what on Earth was i-?
*Squeak*
“Oh yeah!” Spike exclaimed happily. “I thought I lost you.” He tossed the rubber ball in the air, and caught it in his claw a few times, before squeezing it again.
*Squeak*
With a grin, and deciding that the basement was a lost cause, Spike waddled up the stairs with his new prize in his hand; completely unaware of the other, much less innocent object that had been knocked down as well, and which lay exposed on the basement floor for all to see… _________________________________________________________________________
Thanks to Perception Filter and Tarquillaman3285 for editing. And special thanks to koroziwe for translating.
“…and then just as the catapult was about to fire, it tipped over, and we all were shot like a million miles away into a tree. It was funny until a bee hive fell on Apple Bloom’s head and started stinging her really bad. I tried to help but my branch broke and I fell out of the tree. Then Scootaloo tried to help but a mouse fell on her mane and she screamed and fell on me. And that’s how we didn’t get our cutie-marks as catapult builders.”
After she was done telling him her story, Sweetie Belle beamed at Jorge, who was staring her with a bemused expression. The Spartan and the children were making their way back to town, Jorge having offered to walk with them. He felt like it was time he left his home and enjoy some fresh air. Besides, Featherweight and the Cutie-Mark Crusaders seemed so disappointed when they realized they had to go that he couldn’t help but propose he take them home.
“I didn’t scream!” complained Scootaloo. “It just startled me, is all.” The orange pegasus looked up to Jorge. “I wasn’t scared,” she assured him.
“Of course you weren’t,” laughed the Spartan.
“Why are you telling him that story, Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom. “You’re gonna make him think we’re a bunch a screw ups.”
“I don’t think you’re a bunch of screw ups,” said Jorge. “I’m just curious why this cutie-mark stuff is so important to you.”
“Because we’re the only ones in our class who don’t have cutie-marks,” complained Apple Bloom. “Even Featherweight has one.”
“Hey!”
“Yeah!” said Sweetie. “We get teased a lot at school because we don’t know what our specials talents are yet. We’re sick of not being special!”
“Well it seems to me like you already are special,” said Jorge as he stared off and admired the pastoral beauty of the countryside. Just like Reach…
“How do you figure that?” asked Scootaloo.
The Spartan looked down at the fillies, who had all stopped and stared at him expectantly.
“How many students are in your class?” asked Jorge.
“Uh…like twenty,” answered Sweetie.
“And out of all twenty, you are the only ones who do not have their cutie-marks, meaning you’re in the minority. If ‘blank flanks’ are so rare then you guys are the special ones. “
The crusaders all glanced at each other.
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” declared Scootaloo.
Jorge sighed. Well, I tried.
“Besides, even if that were true, it wouldn’t stop Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara from teasing us.”
“Look…” the human bent down on one knee in front of the children. “…bullies will never stop being cruel, regardless of whether or not you conform. You should stop worrying about what they think of you, and start worrying about what you think of yourself.”
“What do you know about bullying?” scoffed Scootaloo. “It’s not like anyone ever bullied you.”
“You’d be surprised.”
Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “You were bullied?”
“All the time. I’m not a regular human remember. People used to treat me and my family as freaks…” lab experiments gone wrong. “…People like these ponies who tease you for being blank flanked will continue to bother you, even if you meet their standards. Just brush off what they say, and do things for you, not for them.”
“It’s true,” interjected Featherweight. “Snips and Snails got their cutie-marks way before those two, but they still tease them anyways."
Scootaloo looked down onto the ground. “I still want my stupid cutie-mark,” she grumbled.
“You’ll get it someday,” said Featherweight comfortingly as he wrapped one of his wings around Scootaloo. Both ponies froze when they realized what just happened. They quickly broke apart from each other, blushing furiously.
“R-r-right,” stammered the white colt in response.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle leered at Scootaloo with devious smiles.
“Hey, Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom.
“What?”
“Scootaloo and Featherweight sitting in a tree…”
“Shut up!”
“…K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” sung Sweetie Belle, joining in on the fun.
“SHUT UP!!!”
“First comes love…”
“…Then comes marriage…”
“…then comes a baby in the baby carriage!” “…then comes a baby in the baby carriage!”
“SHUT UP!!!”
Scootaloo lunged towards her companions, tackling Apple Bloom to the ground. A wrestling contest ensued as both fillies tussled and shouted at each other; and all the while, Featherweight, who was blushing furiously, was forced to watch. The poor colt was absolutely mortified by the CMC’s singing, and prayed to Celestia for the mercy of a swift death. Jorge just gazed at the two kids rolling all over the ground and rolled his eyes, but still couldn’t help but smile.
“Shouldn’t we stop this?” he asked to Sweetie, who just shrugged.
“Nah. This happens way more often than you might think.”
Sighing, the human bent down again and picked up one of the tussling ponies in each of his hands, causing them to yelp when he raised them five feet above the ground. “Alright, that’s enough you two. We need to get you home for lunch soon.”
He placed them on the ground, and the group resumed their journey towards the village. The air was warm, and Jorge was carrying his helmet under his arm so a warm breeze washed over his face. Off in the distance he noticed that a dark cloud of smoke was rising over the horizon. Shrugging it off as inconsequential, the Spartan focused on the path ahead, and before long thatched houses began to poke out over a hill.
Soon the group made it to a fork in the road, with one path leading towards the town of Ponyville, and the other heading towards a group of fields where certain apple farm was located.
“Well, here you go,” said Jorge. “You better head back home soon.”
“Aren’t you coming with us?” asked Featherweight.
“No, it’s best if I don’t. No need to cause a panic this early.”
“Alright,” muttered the colt, deflating a bit with disappointment. “See you later Jorge, we’ll tell you how the project goes, alright?”
The Spartan smiled down at the white pegasus. “I’m looking forward to it, good luck.”
“Goodbye Jorge.”
“Yeah, goodbye.”
After the children bid their farewells, they all trotted eagerly down the path back to town, each excited to tell everypony about Jorge. However, much to Jorge’s bewilderment, Apple Bloom didn’t follow suit. “You know, you have to go home as well,” said the Spartan teasingly.
Apple Bloom jumped as if pulled out of a deep thought, and looked up to the Spartan sadly. “Well…uh…ah live that way,” she said, pointing towards the other path.
Oh, right, thought Jorge. The apple farm. “Alright then. I’ll see you later.” The human turned around, and began heading back to his cottage.
“Wait!”
Jorge stopped and faced Apple Bloom once again, who was looking at him with almost pleading eyes. “Yes?”
“Would you…uh…would you like tah come over? Ah’m sure Applejack would be happy tah see you; she said some pretty nice thangs ‘bout you a couple days ago.”
Jorge’s jaw tightened ever so slightly. “Apple Bloom, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”
“Pleeeeaaaase?” she said, giving him the CMC special.
“Believe me Apple Bloom, I would love to. I just don’t think it will end well.”
“Why not? Come on!” Apple Bloom brightened up as if she suddenly had an epiphany. “You can stay fer lunch! You must be real hungry, ain’t you? I’m sure Granny Smith’ll love tah have you over. You haven’t lived ‘till you tried one of her world famous apple pies.”
“I’ll take your word for it, but I’m sorry Apple Bloom, I can’t.”
The filly’s ears folded back in disappointment as Jorge continued down his path away from her. Suddenly, a final idea popped into her head. “Wait!”
Jorge stopped again and sighed. “Apple Bloom I can’t take you to Sweet Apple Acres. Please stop insisting.”
“But if yer not there tah keep me safe, then ah might be eaten’ by a timberwolf!”
Jorge’s eyebrow quirked upward. “Excuse me?”
“Uh…yeah,” said Apple Bloom nervously, her eyes shifting from side to side as sweat began beading her forehead. Needless to say, the inability to lie was pretty much a staple of the Apple family. “Those darn timberwolves are always sneaking out of the Everfree and…uh…eatin' little fillies just like me.” Apple Bloom scuffed the ground and looked up at the Spartan with an adorably sad look. “You wouldn’t want me to get eaten, would you?”
Jorge gave the filly a hard stare. She had trouble keeping her cute, helpless demeanor under Jorge’s scrutiny, but tried nonetheless.
“Fine,” sighed the biped in defeat. “I’ll take you to Sweet Apple Acres. Let’s just go quickly.”
Apple Bloom cheered mentally, and the two made their way down the left road towards the apple farm. They both walked in silence, keeping their eyes straight ahead. Due to his massive legs, the Spartan was forced to march at a slow pace to allow the filly to keep up. His feet made a loud *thump* with every step he took, sending clouds of dust in the air and forcing the little pony to walk slightly ahead of him. Apple Bloom looked up to the Spartan and opened her mouth as if to say something, but changed her mind and returned her gaze to the road. She repeated this a few times before mustering the courage to actually speak.
“Hey Jorge, can ah ask you somethin'?”
“Of course, little one.”
“Were you really bullied when you were younger?”
Jorge paused, thinking for a brief moment, before shifting his gaze down to the earth pony, who was looking up at him expectantly. “Yes.”
“Really?” asked Apple Bloom, as if unable to comprehend the concept. “But you’re so big!”
“Exactly. When I was younger, I was teased for being too big. For my age I was one of the biggest kids in my…school, apart from maybe one or two others. They used to pick on me all the time, calling me names like ‘freak.’”
“What did you do?”
Jorge shrugged. “It was only for a short time. We all eventually became friends, and they stopped. I’m still really big though. Most people find it intimidating, so they try to avoid me. You learn to just shrug it off.”
“Just like that?”
Jorge smiled. “Just like that.”
“Wow…I wish I could be more like you.”
“Don’t worry about it, little one. I’m sure you’ll get your cutie-mark soon.”
The two continued on their way, Apple Bloom regaling Jorge with more stories about her and her friends trying to get their cutie-marks (generally trying to avoid getting too specific on some of their more…glorious failures). Jorge just listened politely, mentally trying to wrap his head around some of the things Apple Bloom was telling him. Cutie-Mark Crusaders Bear Tamers? These fillies are really desperate.
Before long apple trees began lining the path, and a familiar red barn peered over the horizon.
“Look we’re here! Come on Jorge, let’s go find Applejack. She’ll sure be happy to see you.”
“Apple Bloom that’s not a good ide-”
Before he could finish, the filly already scrambled ahead, eager to find her sister. Jorge just groaned and trudged along after her. Applejack was right on the edge of the plantation, repairing the property’s fence.
“Hey Applejack!”
Applejack smiled when she caught sight of her sister. “Hey there Apple Bloom,” she said as she gave the filly a hug. “Where have you been today? Workin’ on yer cutie-mark with the crusaders?”
“Nah, we were doin’ a project fer school, and guess what? We met a friend of yours!”
“Really, who?”
Apple Bloom pointed down the road towards the rapidly approaching human. As soon as Applejack saw who it was her eyes widened, then narrowed in rage. “You!”
“Me!” said Jorge cheekily as he stopped in front of the ponies.
“What are you doin’ here!?” demanded Applejack.
“Just walking your sister here home,” replied the Spartan coldly, nodding to the confused filly.
“Yeah, Mister Jorge was real nice. We hung out at his house an-”
“What were you doin’ at his house!?”
Apple Bloom recoiled at Applejack’s sudden outburst. She looked between her sister and Jorge helplessly. “Uh…just…you know…talkin’ ‘bout cutie-marks ‘n’ stuff. He helped me with mah school project.”
“Apple Bloom, go inside. Now,” ordered the cowpony.
“But Applejack-”
“NOW!”
Apple Bloom cringed back. Tears were starting to form in her eyes, and she galloped back to the Apple family home as fast as she could. Applejack kept her eye on the filly to make sure she left, before turning her attention back to the Spartan.
“Why. Were. You. With. Her?” she seethed.
Jorge kept his cool demeanor, and stared at Applejack with thinly veiled contempt. “What she said,” answered the Spartan nonchalantly. “She and her friends came to me asking for help. So I helped them.”
“HORSEAPPLES!” spat the apple farmer. “You think ah forgot what you did yesterday? You’re lucky ah haven’t told the Princess yet, but if you so much as come near mah sister again ah'll make sure she never lets you see the light of day again, understood?”
“I’d like to see her try,” snorted the Spartan.
Applejack grinded her teeth in rage and glared at the human. “Get off mah property!”
Jorge bent down and brought his face right up to the pony’s until they were almost nose to nose. “Gladly,” he growled. Straightening himself, the soldier turned around and headed back to his cottage. Once she was sure that he was out of view, Applejack huffed and made her way back to the house. Her shoulders felt heavier than usual as she climbed up the creaky steps of her home’s porch, and passed through the front door. Apple Bloom was sitting on a couch in the living room, wiping some tears from her eyes. Applejack’s heart wrenched at the sight of her sister so miserable; even her ribbon seemed to sag slightly.
The cowpony sat down next to her sister and brought her into a hug. “Apple Bloom, what were you doin’ with Jorge.”
“Ah told you, Applejack! We needed tah interview someone fer a school project, and me, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle thought it’d be neat tah ask Jorge. That’s all we did.”
Applejack stared her sister straight in the eye, trying to glean any sort of deception or dishonesty from the filly. When she felt confident that her younger sibling was telling the truth, the mare sighed. “Apple Bloom you shouldn’t spend time with someone like Jorge. Ah don’t want you tah see him no more, got it?”
Apple Bloom’s eyes widened in horror. “But…but why not!? He’s mah friend!”
Applejack scowled. “He ain’t yer friend, Apple Bloom! You shouldn’t be spending time with people like him. He’s dangerous.”
The filly shook her head furiously. “No he ain’t, Applejack. Those stories about humans ain’t true. He’s really nice! He’s got a family where he’s from and everythang.”
Family? “Do you know what he did here yesterday? He came here agreeing tah help fix the barn up, and instead knocked down one of our trees! Nearly hurt a bunch a ponies in the process too.”
Apple Bloom couldn’t believe her ears. “But…no, he wouldn’t. He was so nice tah us. Why would he want tah hurt ponies? It can’t be true.”
Applejack nodded grimly. “It’s true.”
Apple Bloom clenched her eyes and shook her head.
“Stay away from him, Apple Bloom. Jorge is nothin’ but a no good monster. A freak.”
“No,” whispered Apple Bloom.
“Excuse me?”
The filly’s eyes shot open, and she glared at her sister. “No! You’re lying.”
“Apple Bloom!” shouted the elder sister in shock. Apple Bloom jumped off the couch and faced her sibling.
“You’re a liar!” she yelled, pointing at her sister accusingly as tears began flowing down her cheeks. “Jorge ain’t a monster, and he ain’t a freak! He’s mah friend, and he’s one of the nicest people ah ever met! He’d never hurt anypony. You have no idea what it must be like fer him! All alone, surrounded by ponies who just treat him like a freak. You and the stupid town are just mean tah him cuz he’s different. Yer a…yer a bully!!!”
“Apple Bloom!” cried out Applejack, visibly hurt. She knew how much her sister was bullied at school, and to hear Apple Bloom call her a bully stung more than anything in the world.
“Leave me alone!” shrieked the crying filly. She scrambled out of the living room and up the stairs. Applejack ran after her calling her name. Apple Bloom rushed into her room, and slammed the door shut. The eldest of the Apple sisters began knocking at the door, calling for her younger sibling.
“Apple Bloom, open this door right now! APPLE BLOOM!!!” Applejack stared at the door, panting. When no response came the mare leaned her back against the wall, and slumped down onto the ground miserably. She sighed and gave the door one more frustrated smack.
Dammit.
“Gladly.”
Jorge stood up and turned his back to Sweet Apple Acres. Wearing a mean scowl, the soldier marched away from the farm at a brisk pace, eager to get as far away from the apple fields as possible. The countryside, which earlier appeared lively and vivid now seemed dull and gray. A dark cloud had formed around the Spartan, consisting of his frustration and irritation with these ponies. It was all underlined with a feeling of helplessness, which spread throughout his body and strangled his insides. Helpless to go home, he was trapped in a world he didn’t understand. The soldier continued to walk hurriedly, eager to get back to his cottage. But luck, which had recently taken a liking to screwing the human over, was not through with him.
“Oh Mister human. Mister human!”
Jorge froze in his tracks. That voice. Where have I…
His eyes widened in realization. “Szarba..”
He turned around to see a familiar mint- green unicorn whizzing between a cluster of trees, heading straight for him. Lyra was wearing her signature deranged smile, and galloped towards Jorge at speeds that would make The Wonderbolts envious. Jorge could see that a small, mint colored notebook stuck out of her saddlebag.
The soldier groaned and rubbed his eyes. Kérlek, ne most.
Lyra sprinted up to the human and stopped right in front of him. Ignoring his annoyed expression, the unicorn gave him an impossibly large, toothy smile.
“Hi there!” she said a little too loudly. “It’s me, Lyra. You know, from the party?”
“Yes I remember.”
“Oh phew,” breathed Lyra in relief. “That’s good. I just wanted you to know that I got my notebook.” Her horn glowed, and the notebook floated out of her saddle bag surrounded in a green aura. Jorge could see that the words ‘TOP SECRET. DO NOT READ” were written on the cover in big, red, bold letters. It was bulging with pictures and scraps of paper, which were haphazardly sticking out from its pages. “So…are you ready for that talk now?”
Jorge shook his head slightly in disbelief. Amazing. Yesterday I was the most feared person in this world, and now everyone wants to have a chat with me. “Listen Lyra, this isn’t a good moment for me,” he said through a clenched jaw. “I am really…flattered by your interest in me, but I’m not in the mood for this right now.”
“But…I spent days preparing questions,” she muttered pathetically. “I’ve wanted to meet one of you since I was a little filly…please?” Lyra proceeded to assault the soldier with her own puppy eyes. Unfortunately for her, after being subjected to the CMC special Jorge had developed a sort of immunity to adorableness.
“I’m sorry.” He continued on his way hoping to leave this madness behind, but didn’t count on Lyra’s persistency. The unicorn scrambled after the human, and did her best to keep up with his long strides.
“Please it’ll only take, like, five minutes, I swear!”
“No.”
“Come on! I won’t even ask any questions! All you have to do is come to my house. Seriously, Bon-Bon’ll love you.”
“No!”
“I’ll…I’ll even play my lyre for you! You know, give you a private show?”
Jorge stopped dead in his tracks, causing the pony to smack into his back leg, though he barely felt it. He turned around and looked at Lyra with a tired expression. “What do you want from me, Lyra?”
Lyra rubbed her sore head before gazing up to the Spartan. She bit her lip nervously and avoided his eyes. “I just want to… hang out with you,” she whispered.
Jorge blinked in surprise. “Hang out?”
“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her leg bashfully. “Ever since I was a filly I always thought humans were the coolest! I used to dream of just, you know, spending the day with one.”
“But why would want to hang out with a human? Your stories about us don’t paint us in the best light.”
“I know,” she mumbled melancholically. “But when I was little, I used to get teased at school a lot for having a stubby horn. When I would get home I would read stories about you guys because they made me feel better. You guys were awesome! You never took crap from anypony! I always wanted to be kinda like you …” Lyra blushed in embarrassment as she trailed off. The human continued to scrutinize her, unable to come up with anything to say.
Finally, Jorge sighed. “Fine.”
“What?”
“I’ll go have lunch with you, and only lunch…”
Lyra *squee’d* loudly and began clapping her hooves together.
“…as long as you never do that again.”
“Uh…right,” chuckled the unicorn nervously. She began leading the human back to her home, a slight spring in her step as she trotted. Soon the trees and empty fields gave way to cottages and gardens as the two approached the village. Much to Jorge’s relief however, the unicorn didn’t live in the town. Her cottage was in its outskirts, only a few minutes away. As such they didn’t run the risk of attracting too much unwanted attention, save for that of a few ponies traveling along the dirt path.
“Here we go,” announced Lyra as they approached one of the cottages. “Home.”
The house looked like it was ripped right out of a tacky catalogue. The roof was thatched, which itself was unremarkable considering the surrounding architecture, but was surrounded by a white gutter that was shaped with arches, giving the roof the semblance of a giant doily. The walls were white, and slightly warped, making the house look twisted. Its windows were crooked and uneven, giving it a sort of chaotic order. The gardens were immaculate, featuring all manner of flower and vine which crept their way up one the house’s sides. Overall, the best description Jorge could bequeath it was that it looked whimsical, even for Ponyville. It was the kind of place where the perfect grandmother would live, waiting to open the door and offer any and all visitor a tray of chocolate-chip cookies. Barring that, the Spartan half-expected seven dwarves to jump out and greet them.
“Let’s go!” said the mint green mare excitedly as she opened a white picket fence and clopped down the small cobbled path that led to the front door. Jorge followed reluctantly, keeping a wary eye around his surroundings. The garden was full of bees and butterflies, but they paid him no heed. At one point a hummingbird fluttered up in front of Jorge, and the Spartan could have sworn it smiled at him.
Lyra pulled out her keys from her saddlebag and opened the door. “Come in,” she said before disappearing inside. Bending down to avoid hitting his head on the door frame, the human followed suit. Jorge was annoyed to discover that he had to stoop over slightly to keep from bumping his head on the ceiling.
“Bon-Bon, I’m home!” called out Lyra as she dropped her saddlebag onto the floor absentmindedly.
“Oh hello, Sweetie!” called out a voice from the kitchen. “How was your morning?”
“Oh you know. Same old, same old. I brought over a friend over for lunch, if that’s okay?”
“No problem, you know I love entertaining guests. I’ll just finish up in here real quick then join you.”
Lyra dragged the soldier into the living room. Unsurprisingly, the décor didn’t help dispel the theory that the house was populated by a group of adorable grandmothers. Old, mahogany shelves were adorned with clay birds, tasteless collectable plates, and all sorts of trinkets and knickknacks. Photos covered almost every single inch of the wall, and the furniture all looked like it was a few decades out of fashion. Most amusing of all, some of the nightstands featured actual doilies.
“Sorry about the decoration,” said Lyra, somewhat embarrassed. “Bon-Bon has no taste, but I still love her all the same.” The unicorn plopped herself on one of the couches while Jorge stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. The atmosphere was quickly growing awkward as Lyra said nothing, and just stared at him with an expression conveying a mixture of excitement and utter lunacy. Wanting desperately to break the bizarre atmosphere, Jorge tried striking a conversation.
“So-”
“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!”*squee’d* Lyra loudly, despite the agreement she had had with Jorge. “I can’t believe you’re actually standing in my house! This is a dream come true! All my fantasies…everything it…I…is it getting hot in here?” Lyra fanned herself as if she were about to die of excitement.
“Lyra.”
“Yeah?”
“Calm down.”
Suddenly realizing the way she was behaving, Lyra cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s just I’ve always wanted to meet one of you guys. I always knew you were real!”
Before the Spartan could say anything in response, Bon-Bon walked into the living room from the kitchen.
“Lunch’ll be ready in a few minu-” She stopped herself when she caught sight of the room. Lyra was smiling lovingly at her, which she found heart-warming. Sadly, she came to focus on a much less heart-warming sight, namely the giant, metal-clad biped currently staring down at her. It took a few moments for the cream colored mare to process what she was witnessing.
Bob-Bon’s pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks. Her muscles became taught with fear as her fur shot out and stood on its ends. Before long the earth-pony was hyperventilating softly and staring at Jorge in paralyzing fear.
“Hey Bon-Bon! I brought Jorge over for lunch,” said Lyra, still sporting a massive grin and completely oblivious to her marefriend’s behavior.
“I’m Jorge,” deadpanned Jorge as he gave Bon-Bon a small wave.
Bon-Bon started trembling, and she refused to take her eyes off the human in front of her. “L-Lyra?” she whispered slowly. “T-t-there’s a g-g-giant monster in our l-l-living room. Whatever you d-d-do, don’t move. I don’t t-think it can see us if we stay st-t-till.”
“You know I can see you now, right?” sighed Jorge.
“Bon-Bon!” cried out Lyra indignantly. “Stop being rude. I invited Jorge over for lunch. He’s our guest.”
Bon-Bon’s eyes shifted between the biped and the unicorn. “Lyra, could I see you in the kitchen please!?” she asked rather loudly. Lyra looked hesitantly at Jorge, before getting off the couch and following Bon-Bon into the kitchen.
“Be right back, Jorge,” she called out before leaving his sight and turning her attention to the frazzled mare in front of her. “What’s up, Bons?”
Bon-Bon’s eye twitched slightly. “Lyra, you know I love you right?”
“Yyyeeesss…?” said the unicorn cautiously.
“Good, so I hope you take no offence when I ask: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR CELESTIA DAMNED MIND!?!”
Lyra flinched back at Bon-Bon’s outburst. “Hey! That was a little uncalled for.”
The earth pony’s jaw hit the floor. “A little uncalled for? There is a monster standing in my living room!”
“He’s not a monster! He’s my guest and I invited him for lunch. You were okay with it, like, five minutes ago.”
“Five minutes ago I didn’t know he was a human! I want him out, now.”
“But…but Bon-Bon, you know this is my dream come true!”
Bon-Bon sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Lyra, your obsession with humans is quirky, adorable even. But there’s difference between fantasy and reality! Did you forget how dangerous they’re supposed to be?”
“He’s not dangerous, I swear! He’s a really nice guy once you get to know him. Come on Bon-Bon he wouldn’t hurt a fly, and he really, really likes me.” Unknown to Lyra, only one of those things was true. “You’ll love him, just give him a chance.”
Bon-Bon looked towards the living room uncertainly. “I don’t know…”
Lyra grinned deviously before moving towards her lover and nibbling her ear softly, causing Bon-Bon to squeak. “If you let him stay for lunch I’ll make it worth your while,” whispered Lyra seductively.
“Lyra, stop!” giggled Bon-Bon as a blush spread across her cheeks.
“Come on…” moaned the green unicorn, rubbing the flushed mare’s flanks. “I know you love it, Candy Ass.”
“Lyra!” laughed the earth-pony, pushing the green mare off her. “Fine, he can stay…but tonight you better give me the works.”
“Oh I will,” assured Lyra with a wink, before cantering back to the living room. Bon-Bon watched her go, her grin slowly fading only to be replaced with apprehension. She gulped, and sluggishly made her way back into the room where the human was. Jorge was standing to a side, inspecting the photos on one of the walls while Lyra was sitting back on the couch, staring at him reverently. When she saw Bon-Bon standing at the doorway she motioned her over, but the cream colored mare ignored her.
“So Jorge,” she said nervously, getting the human’s attention. “Lunch is almost ready. Would you like anything specific?”
“Anything’s fine, thank you,” said Jorge courteously.
“Are you sure?” asked Bon-Bon. “I don’t know what humans eat but I could do my best. Would like a salad? Some pasta? The flesh of a newborn foal?”
“Excuse me?”
“Pasta it is then!” Bon-Bon hastily made her way to the kitchen, leaving Jorge to gape at where she once stood.
“Ignore her,” said Lyra with a wave of her hoof. “She can be weird sometimes…hey listen, would you mind if I rub my face against your cheek.” She gave the human her most reassuring smile, but it just came out as deranged. Jorge just glanced at her uneasily.
This is going to be a very interesting lunch, thought the human as he eyed the staring pony.
Bon-Bon returned shortly and sat on the couch next to her marefriend. She grabbed Lyra’s hoof in fear, stroking it as if to comfort herself. The unicorn didn’t notice, and just continued staring at Jorge excitedly. Jorge gazed at the two mares, unsure of what to do. Lyra said she wanted to ‘hang out,’ but he had no idea what that was supposed to entail. Looking at the green mint unicorn, he tilted his head curiously when he noticed her posture.
“What?” Lyra asked when she caught Jorge looking at her quizzically.
“Why are you sitting like that?”
Much to Jorge’s surprise, Bon-Bon snorted with laughter. Lyra looked at her lover in confusion before huffing. “Seriously? I thought you of all people wouldn’t ask that.”
Jorge’s eyebrow shot upward. “Excuse me?”
“Ponies are always giving me crap about the way I sit. I just find it comfortable okay!”
“…okay. I was just asking. It’s a little odd, is all.”
“I know, right!?” laughed out Bon-Bon. “I’ve been telling her that for years but she never seems to listen!” Suddenly realizing who she was talking to, the earth pony coughed nervously, and averted her gaze from the soldier.
“But…but I’m sitting like a human!”
“Exactly,” answered Jorge. “You’re not a human. You are a pony; ergo, you’re supposed to sit like a pony. It’s odd.”
Throughout Jorge’s explanation, Bon-Bon could not stop snickering to herself. She leaned in close to Lyra’s ear. “I change my mind, I like him.”
“ALRIGHT! Can we drop the whole sitting topic, please?”
Jorge raised his hands defensively. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Lyra sighed. “Sorry, it’s a touchy subject. Please, take a seat,” offered the mare as she waved her hoof towards an armchair.
Jorge obliged. But rather than sit on any of the furniture, the Spartan moved a coffee table out of the way and sat down on the floor. Jorge was now around the same height as Lyra, making looking at her much easier.
“Uh…why are you sitting on the floor?” asked the unicorn
“You ponies are always giving me crap about the way I sit,” replied Jorge wryly. “I just find it comfortable, okay?”
Bon-Bon bit down on her hoof to stop herself from giggling, while Lyra rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha, very funny,” said the unicorn flatly. “Seriously though, why on the floor?”
“Because this way you don’t have to buy new furniture,” grumbled the Spartan, causing the ponies to glance at each other.
“So…Jorge,” began Lyra, trying to think of something to say without jumping into the questions right away. “What were you looking at on the wall just now?”
“Just one of your photos,” answered Jorge, nodding to the picture in question. It was a black and white photo of Bon-Bon when she was just a filly. The pony was covered in some sort of batter or flour, but it was hard to tell what it was due to the lack of color. The kitchen she was standing in was a mess. In fact the stove was on fire, her mane was slightly singed, and she was wearing a bowl on her head. But for some reason, she was the very picture of joy. Her smile occupied almost half her face and her eyes were sparkling happily.
The cream colored mare blushed slightly in embarrassment. “That was taken by my dad right after I got my cutie-mark.”
“How did you get it?” asked Jorge. All the talk of cutie-marks that day was making him burn with curiosity.
“Uh…well, when I was younger, my parents worked at a bakery. I had just started school here in Ponyville after moving from Fillydelphia, and even though everyone was really young I was one of the few in the class who didn’t have a cutie-mark. It must have been a really early budding class. Most ponies don’t get theirs until they’re around the age of nine or ten, but here was a bunch of six and seven year olds who already knew their special talents! I was really embarrassed that I didn’t have mine yet. I wasn’t bullied or anything, in fact many of the kids actually tried to help me get my cutie-mark, but I still felt humiliated. One day, after trying to get a cutie-mark in catapult building-”
“I’m sorry,” interrupted Jorge. “Did you say catapult building?”
Bon-Bon’s blush intensified further, and it was Lyra’s turn to snicker. “Uh…yeah. I tried some silly things as a filly.”
There is no way that’s a coincidence, thought Jorge as he shook his head to himself. “Go on.”
“So I came back home, and there was nopony there. I was really hungry, but there wasn’t anything to eat. The bakery was closed for the holidays and everything had been thrown away. My parents never let me cook because I was too young, but I was too tired to care. So I went inside and decided to try making some cookies.” Bon-Bon laughed. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I just threw whatever I could find into a bowl, and used and old eggbeater to mix. By the time I was putting the mix on the tray, the ‘cookie dough’ was so thick and syrupy; it didn’t look too appetizing. Still, I put it in the oven anyways. I set the temperature to the max, and it…well it…it exploded.”
“It exploded?”
“Pretty much,” she chuckled, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. "The blast launched me to the other side of the kitchen, and sent the bowl flying onto my head. Fortunately, that’s when my parents showed up. You should have seen the look on my dad’s face! He nearly had a heart attack. Of course it wasn’t funny then though. He grabbed a fire extinguisher, and put out the fire. He was so upset. I swear, he was about to explode. Then my mom happened to try one of my ‘cookies.’
“I don’t know how, but they turned out as bon-bons. The craziest thing was that they were delicious! I almost thought my mom’s eyes rolled into the back of her head when she tried one. That’s when I got this.” Bon-Bon displayed her flank, which bore the image of three wrapped candies.”
“I love it when you wiggle your bon-bons, Candy Ass,” whispered Lyra throatily.
“Lyra!”
“You weren’t punished?” asked Jorge, ignoring the two lover’s flirtations.
“Oh no, I was punished alright,” said the earth pony, pushing Lyra away from her. “I was grounded for a month. I didn’t really care though; I was too happy that I got my cutie-mark.” Jorge nodded at turned his attention back to the photos on the wall. Bob-Bon looked at her hooves and bit her lip nervously. “Uh…excuse me?” she addressed to Jorge, who looked straight at her. “Jorge, was it?” The Spartan nodded. “Listen, Jorge. I’m sorry I was so rude to you earlier, it was uncalled for. It’s just that there have been some rumors floating around town and…I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior, but I apologize.”
Jorge observed Bon-Bon silently, keeping his stoic expression. “Apology accepted,” he finally answered. “Honestly, you’ve probably gotten used to me faster than most ponies have since I arrived.” And less violently too…
“Well with Lyra in the house, it practically felt like we were living with humans,” laughed the earth pony, poking her marefriend playfully.
“Hey!” cried out Lyra indignantly, prompting a chuckle from Bob-Bon. A loud ringing sounded from the kitchen, and Bob-Bon hopped off the couch.
“That was the egg timer. Lunch is ready you two.”
The unicorn and the human followed the earth pony into the dining room, where she served them each a plate of spaghetti al dente with tomato sauce. The Spartan was forced to sit on the floor, holding his plate in one hand and his fork in the other, but he didn’t mind. It was a simple meal; not to the degree of Spike’s cooking but still delicious nonetheless. As he ate, Jorge contemplated that one of the few positive perks of being in Equestria was the great food. Every meal was a treat, and while the lack of meat was a bit of a drag, he could easily make up for the lack of protein with eggs and other vegetarian substitutes.
Once they were finished eating, the two ponies leaned back and hummed in satisfaction. Jorge noticed that Lyra was still staring at him, as she had throughout the entire lunch. He sighed, and decided to do something he knew he would regret.
“Hey Lyra, would you like to ask me a few questions now?”
Lyra perked up, and her eyes widened. Jorge could practically hear the screeching grinds of her head slowly, painfully slowly rotating to face him. Her pupils shrunk as her smile widened. “Really?”
“Sure,” replied Jorge through gritted teeth. As predicted, he was already regretting his decision. “I can tell you’ve been waiting to ever since I got here.”
Rather than shaking with excitement, the unicorn started vibrating. It was so subtle that it was barely noticeable, but that made it all the more unsettling. Suddenly she shot out of her chair and ran through the dining room towards her room.
“Should I be worried?” Jorge asked Bon-Bon.
“No. You should be running.”
Just as quick as she disappeared Lyra returned, levitating a familiar notebook next to her head. She placed it on the table and began flipping through its pages voraciously, ignoring the photos and pieces of paper that flew out. Jorge noticed that most of them contained eerily detailed illustrations of hands. Lyra paused and looked up to the human uncertainly.
“Are you sure…I don’t want to be pushy.”
“No, it’s alrigh-”
“Okay great! Let’s see…uh…ah okay, *ahem.* Question one: Are your gills located on the side of your torso, or on your back?”
Ever since arriving to Equestria, there had been a few moments in which Jorge was rendered utterly speechless. Prior to his arrival this would have been nearly impossible, but this world was just so unlike what he was used to that he couldn’t help but be shocked, surprised, and outright befuddled every time something unexpected happened (which was a lot). At that instant, he was experiencing such a moment.
“I’m sorry?” he asked after nearly a whole minute of silence.
“Your gills,” repeated Lyra. “Where do you have them? I have a pretty good idea of what human anatomy is like but that’s one of the things I’m still not sure on.”
“Where exactly have you been getting your information on humans?”
“Well, old stories mostly. They don’t mention anything about your amphibious nature, but me and other human aficionados theorized that you must have had some aquatic tendencies.”
“Aficionados… that’s one way to call them,” muttered Bon-Bon, to which Lyra responded with a smoldering glare.
“Lyra, I don’t have gills.”
The unicorn gasped. “Oh Jorge I’m…I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were born with a birth defect. I shouldn’t have broached such a touchy subject.”
“What? Lyra, humans don’t have gills.”
The mint-green mare blinked in confusion, before a slight blush tinged her cheeks. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Oh…well there go questions numbers one through twelve.”
Jorge groaned mentally. Zárva kellett volna tartsam a számat.
Much to his surprise though, once they were off the subject of gills the conversation took a more pleasant turn. Lyra’s information on human anatomy was unnervingly accurate (aquatic physical attributes aside), so she mostly asked questions about Jorge’s life. The human answered as best he could, generally avoiding the subject of the war and politely refusing to answer when things got too personal. Eventually they stumbled on the topic of Reach, and he spent the rest of his time there regaling both ponies with stories of his planet. Throughout his story telling the Spartan’s chest felt hollow and he felt a sharp pain in his belly, as if someone had stabbed him with an ice pick. Lyra asked him if she could inspect his hands (she didn’t so much use the word ‘inspect’ as she did the word ‘lick’), but much to her disappointment that wasn’t possible due to the Spartan’s armor.
After an hour of chatting and answering questions, Jorge decided that it was best that he get going, and stood up to leave. Unfortunately, Lyra was having trouble coping with that fact.
“Please, just five more minutes!”
“I need to go, Lyra.”
“Stay for dinner! Come on, we’ll even cook you some meat if you stay! I’m sure Applejack won’t miss a cow or two.”
“Lyra, it has been a pleasure but I really need to go.”
“Why don’t you move in!? Bon-Bon won’t mind!”
“Actually…”
“See! She’s already on board! Here, let me just go get your things.”
“Goodbye Lyra.”
The unicorn dove through the air and clung onto the human’s leg just as he was going out the door. Jorge took three steps before realizing that he was dragging the pony with him. Sighing, he bent down and pulled her off him, lifting her up a few feet before placing her gently in front of the door. He had long since learnt that that seemed to be an effective method of getting ponies to leave him alone. Lyra was staring at him with large, shimmering eyes. Her lower lip was trembling, and she was outstretching her hooves at him like a foal who wanted to be picked up. The unicorn gave the Spartan a high-pitched whine.
“No,” said Jorge gruffly.
Bon-Bon rolled her eyes before she grabbed her lover’s tail and pulled her away. “Stop being so childish, Lyra.”
“Fine,” pouted the unicorn. “But remember, you promised to show me your hands next time you came over. And I still have to play a song for you.”
“I know.” And with that the soldier turned his back on the house, and walked down the path back to his home. Lyra and Bon-Bon called out their ‘goodbyes’ before retreating back into their home. Jorge left the vicinity of Ponyville, and when he was atop one of the surrounding hills he looked back down at the strange cottage where he had just spent his afternoon.
What a crazy pair of ponies, thought Jorge as a grin crawled onto his face. Crazy, but kind.
He made his way back to his own home. The sun was long since passed its peak, and Jorge estimated that it was probably between five o’ clock and five-thirty judging from its position. As he walked, Jorge looked back on his day. It certainly had been interesting, but then again that could be said about every day in the past week. His mind turned to the Cutie-Mark Crusaders, particularly Apple Bloom.
I wonder what they're up to; probably trying to get their cutie-marks in bomb disarming.
Jorge looked ahead and saw someone on the road heading straight towards him. His jaw clenched and his face darkened with rage when he recognized who it was.
Applejack’s eyes were downcast. Her face lacked her usual carefree smile, and instead bore a dejected frown. She slowly trudged away from Sweet Apple Acres. Her legs felt as heavy as lead, and her mouth was dry. As the distance between her and her farm increased, so did her guilt. As she moved, she looked up ahead of her for a brief moment, and caught the sight of something large standing down the road. Her heart jumped into her throat when she realized who it was.
Jorge and Applejack said nothing as they stared at each other. The pony’s eyes were miserable, whereas the human wore the same neutral expression that was chiseled into his face. Yet Applejack could see anger behind those brown eyes.
“Uh…howdy there…Jorge,” muttered Applejack lamely. She winced as soon as the words came out of her mouth.
Jorge said nothing. His brow furrowed and he marched past the pony silently.
“W-wait!” called out Applejack.
Jorge didn’t listen. He continued to walk away, ignoring the mare’s calls.
“I’m sorry!”
The Spartan froze. He turned around slowly until he was facing the pony, who was looking at the ground in shame. “Excuse me?” he asked.
Applejack sighed. “Look…ah’ve…ah’ve been givin’ it a lot of thought…you know, giving me time tah cool off… and ah realized that…that ah was wrong.” She looked up to the soldier, waiting for a response. When she got none, she took it as a sign to continue. “Ah shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, ah…the thang is, thangs have been so stressful lately…we’re in debt and they might foreclose us and…shoot, ah don’t even know how you do it. After Apple Bloom yelled at me ah realized that it must be hard fer you here and…you’re away from your home and everythang you knew and…shoot, can ah start over?”
Jorge raised his hand to stop the pony. “Applejack, I forgive you.”
Applejack snapped her head up. “Really?”
The Spartan nodded. Both beings stood in front of each other as an awkward silence descended upon them. “Well, if you’ll excuse me I need to head to my new home and find a way to fit into my shower.”
“Hold on there. If you need a place tah wash up there’s a pond nearby. Ah could show you the way, it’s the least ah could do.”
Jorge thought about it for a moment, before giving Applejack a curt nod. The pony led the human down the path. The day had quickly grown humid, and the heat of the sun was sticking to the pony as she walked. Sweat flowed down her brow, accompanied by a feeling of general discomfort. The air was thick and unpleasant, and now that she thought about it, a dip in the pond sounded like a great idea. Mosquitoes and dragonflies buzzed around the mare, who’s tail subconsciously lashed out to whip them. Both she and Jorge walked side by side in silence. The farmer would periodically glance up at Jorge, who was looking straight ahead and wasn’t displaying any sign of discomfort.
“Thanks by the way,” she said.
Jorge looked down at her and raised his eyebrow.
“For forgivin’ me, ah mean,” explained Applejack. “Ah was being a real jerk, and ah just didn’t expect you tah accept mah apology that quickly.”
Jorge didn’t say anything, he just nodded.
“Why did you forgive me so quickly, by the way?”
“Does it matter?” answered the soldier gruffly.
“Ah’m just curious is all.”
Jorge paused as he thought what to answer. “I’m getting sick of grudges,” he finally said. “We’ve had enough of them since I’ve arrived. Besides, I was also at fault. I should have controlled my rage…” I should have acted with discipline, he thought bitterly.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it; we were able tah save Woodsworth.”
“Who?”
“The tree you knocked down.”
Jorge stared at her in disbelief. “You name your trees?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t we?”
Jorge said nothing; he shook his head and grumbled under his breath.
“Besides, ah guess the look on their faces when they fell was pretty funny,” snickered Applejack.
“Glad you enjoyed it,” snorted Jorge in amusement.
Before long the two emerged into a clearing. A large pond rested in the middle, surrounded by a sandy beach. The crystalline water was so clear, Jorge could see straight through to the pond’s floor as if peering through a window. Birds fluttered over the pond’s waters, and a family of ducks was gliding over its surface, creating small ripples that spread to the edges of the beach.
“Well, here you are, Jorge,” said Applejack, presenting the pond with a wave of her hoof. “Now all you need tah do is find a way out of that armor of yours and you’ll be good tah go.”
“That won’t be a problem.” While the MJOLNIR Mark V generally required a team of technicians to help remove and put back on, Jorge had long since modified his orange armor to allow him to do so manually. A loud *hiss* emanated from the suit after he presses a button on his arm, and various mechanical components began to move and shift. Applejack watched in fascination as Jorge began taking apart his armor piece by piece. Jorge gently, almost reverently placed each portion of his suit on the ground as he removed them. After about twenty minutes, all that remained was a tight, black body suit that encompassed his entire body. Jorge speedily removed that too.
Applejack gasped.
He was totally hairless, which wasn’t much a surprise. What was a surprise was his skin tone. The Spartan’s body was pale, almost to the point of appearing sickly. Does he ever take it off? thought Applejack as he eyed him. His white skin wasn’t what caused her to gasp though. Jorge’s back was covered with scars. Jagged lines and faded burns ran along his body, making Applejack slightly queasy.
Jorge turned around to head into the water, giving Applejack a view of his torso. It too was covered with half a dozen faded wounds, which were all the more evident due to his lack of fur. His body was rippling with muscles, demonstrating his athletic, if bulky, physique. Applejack’s eyes trailed lower to his legs. She gasped a second time and quickly turned her back to the human, her face burning with a furious blush.
Well that explains the clothes thing, thought Applejack. Ain’t nothin' concealed ‘bout that.
As soon as she heard a splash coming from the pond, the farmer deemed it safe to turn around. The Spartan broke the surface sighed contently. Swimming through the cool water, Jorge’s powerful arms cut through the water like a knife, propelling him to the other side in a manner of seconds before returning.
“I guess someone is enjoying themselves,” laughed Applejack.
Jorge wiped his face and gave her a small nod. “I needed this.”
“Y’know, you should get some more clothes if you’re gonna insist on wearin’ them. You can’t wear your armor twenty-four seven.”
“I have before,” replied the human with a shrug. “Like I’ve said before: I like my armor.”
The pony shook her head. “I still don’t get that.”
“Why do you wear your hat all the time? I’ve seen you wearing it even at night.”
Applejack instinctively made to grab her father’s old hat. “It’s a part of me,” she answered resolutely.
“Same with my armor. It’s a part of me. Like a second skin. I get uncomfortable if I don’t have it on for too long.”
Applejack glanced at the pieces of the Spartan’s MJOLNIR. “Well, in any case, if you change yer mind just head on over to Rarity’s and she’ll set you up. She’s a generous one she is.” Applejack zoned out slightly as she pictured the alabaster unicorn in her head.
“Hey…uh…Jorge?”
“Yes?”
Applejack blushed and scuffled the dirt bashfully. “Do you know anythin’ ‘bout…” the pony made vague gestures with her hooves “…you know?”
“No, I don’t. About what?”
Applejack’s blush practically glowed, and she fidgeted uncomfortably as she tried to find a way to express herself. “Well…uh…crushes ah guess…love ‘n stuff,” she muttered with thinly veiled nervousness.
Jorge was taken aback. “I can’t say that I do,” he admitted slowly.
“Oh.”
Jorge scrutinized the pony carefully. “Why do you ask, are you looking for advice or something?”
Applejack’s face looked like it was about to catch fire. “What!? No!” she laughed nervously. “Ah don’t have a special somepony or anythin’. Why would ah be lookin’ fer advice?” As she said those words, she bit her lip and glanced at the ground.
Applejack walked through the throng of ponies dancing in the middle of the library. She still had trouble following the events that had led to Pinkie hosting a huge party with half the town in the middle of the library; much less how they had managed to do it after the panic. But her mind was preoccupied at the moment. She broke through the crowd of quadrupeds and saw who she was looking for.
Rarity was sitting in a corner of the room, near the stairs to the basement, with Jorge. Jorge was explaining something to the unicorn, and while Applejack couldn’t tell what he was saying it was obvious that Rarity was extremely interested. Gulping nervously, Applejack took a step forward.
“Uh, ‘scuse me for interuptin’, but can ah talk tah Rarity fer a minute?”
Both turned to face her. Rarity looked surprised while Jorge looked irritated; though, much to the cowpony’s confusion, he seemed to look slightly relieved when she asked that.
“Why of course Applejack,” replied the dressmaker with a smile. “What do you need?”
‘Why did she have to ask that?’ thought Applejack, trying to come up with a believable lie. “Actually I was… uh… hopin’ that we could talk in… p-p-private,” she said when she could come up with none.
Applejack could tell that Rarity was confused, but the unicorn smiled nonetheless. “Sure darling, it won’t be a problem. “I‘m sorry Jorge, but it appears that you will have to tell me some other time.” Applejack led Rarity to a deserted part of the room. As they walked they passed Lyra, who was wearing an incredibly creepy grin, but Applejack thought nothing of it.
Finally finding an empty corner of the room, the cowpony turned to face the fashionista.
“So Applejack, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
Applejack’s mouth went dry and her mind blanked. For the first time for as long as she could remember, Applejack’s legs felt wobbly not from physical exertion, but from nerves. “Uh…well Rarity…ah uh…” The farmer could feel her face heat up as she stuttered stupidly. ‘Dammit, say something!’
“Uh…”
‘No! You said that already, you moron.’
“Ah just wanted to uh…tah thank you again fer fixin’ my hat!” she said, wincing at her own lie.
Rarity gave Applejack a skeptical smile. “Don’t mention it, darling. I know how much that old cowpony hat means to you. It was my pleasure. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find Jorge before he leaves. He was just about to tell me something about his armor that I’m dying to know.”
Rarity returned to the crowd, leaving the orange mare on her own. Applejack kept a fake smile as she watched the white unicorn walk away. Once she was out of distance, the cowpony hung her head miserably.
“Idiot.”
Applejack snapped out of her contemplation and looked at Jorge, who stared at her skeptically. “What about you? Y’all ever have a special somepony?”
Jorge snorted. “It’s funny. Your sister asked me the same thing.”
“And?”
“No.”
“Oh,” mumbled the pony, somewhat disappointed. “Well you have a family, right? Ah heard Applebloom mention somethin’ like that. How are they?”
Jorge didn’t say anything.
He frowned and looked down at the waters he stood in. His reflection stared back at him. It was the face of a soldier; scarred, hardened, tired, worn. The face of a true Spartan. He ran his fingers along the face, which disappeared in a wave of ripples. Jorge looked at the ripples as they spread out, moving faster and faster, growing stronger as they glided over the face before slowing down and disappearing all together. They’re dying. “They’re fine…”
Applejack’s ears folded back. “Oh.” Jorge’s voice had been steady, neutral. But she felt something behind it. A drop of sorrow that tainted his tone, turning what would have otherwise been a comfortable, innocent lie into a knife that lashed the air with its true meaning. With nothing more than those two words, she knew. She didn’t say anything, instead choosing to stare at the ground before her.
“Ah lost mah parents when ah was ten.”
Jorge froze. He slowly raised his head and looked at the pony on the shore. Her eyes were full of sorrow and melancholy as she stared at a piece of grass, lost in thought. Applejack didn’t know why she said that. It was an impulse. An uncontrollable urge that seized her body, as if saying it would break a spell that had befallen the haggard soldier.
“Oh,” whispered Jorge softly.
The two stood there in silence. The pony and the human. The farmer and the soldier, both deep in thought as they stared at the ground and the water. Nothing could be heard over the sound of wind blowing through leaves. Distant whispers that caressed their bodies briefly. Giving them warm and comfort before disappearing, never to return.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Applejack raised her head to face the human. “Hey Jorge?”
Jorge glanced at the pony.
“Would you like tah come tah town with me? We still got a couple hours of sunlight left.”
Jorge didn’t say anything. He stared at the pony with tired eyes, deep in thought. The Spartan gave Applejack the faintest of smiles.
“I would like that very much.”
The scratching of claws on wood could be heard throughout the cavernous hall, followed by some light thuds as a small, feathered creature fell down a flight of stairs. Shaking its head, the orange and yellow creature fluttered its tiny wings and began scurrying across the cold, stone floor. Exploring for no other reason than for the sake of it, the creature hopped on top of boxes, machines, and piles of books as it inspected the dark, cob-web filled room it found itself in.
As it ran between dusty shelves and decrepit furniture, it caught site of something out of place. It was a thing, a thing unlike anything else this animal had seen. Unlike everything else in the room, this strange object was completely devoid of dust. It was round, smooth, and above all else, shiny.
The creature bit down on the mysterious object, and picked it up in its beak. Swaying from the orb's weight, the small creature clumsily made its way back up the stairs. Using its little claws to pry the door open, the critter was blinded by the light that streamed through the crack. It walked through the doorway with the thing in its beak, eager to find out just what it could be-
“Peewee there you are!”
Peewee chirped happily when he saw his master walk into the library’s foyer and into the kitchen. Fluttering his wings in excitement, the baby phoenix completely forgot about the small treasure he had discovered in the library’s basement.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” scolded the dragon as he picked Peewee up and give him a disapproving glare. The chick looked at the dragon and chirped, causing the biped’s heart to melt. “Awwww, I can’t stay mad at you.” Spike scratched the bottom of the chick’s beak, causing him to ruffle his feathers happily.
“C’mon, let’s go upstairs.”
The dragon took a step forward and inadvertently stepped on the sphere Peewee had brought up, causing him to trip. As Peewee flew out of his owner’s claw he flapped his tiny wings as fast as he could, slowing his fall and allowing him to land on the floor softly with a satisfied chirp. Spike was not as lucky. All he had to cushion his fall was his face.
“Ow! What the…?” rubbing his head, Spike turned around and picked up the orb that had caused his fall. It was blue with a green and orange circle in the middle. The surface was completely smooth and shiny, as if made of glass. Spike could see that whatever it was, it had a large crack. Sniffing it experimentally, Spike popped it in his mouth and began chewing it before spitting it out.
“Okay, so not a gem,” he muttered to himself, somewhat disappointed. He chucked it in the air and caught it a few times, testing its weight and feel. “Ah well, whatever it is it’ll work. I can’t wait to see the look on Rarity’s face when I show her I can juggle. Let’s go Peewee!”
Picking up the phoenix hatchling, the dragon excitedly ran up the stairs…
Mr. Cake sighed as he tucked the twins into bed. Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake both curled up against one another, the former sucking her hoof as she drifted off into a slumber. The lanky, yellow stallion crooned over his baby foals one more time before tiptoeing out of the room, and shutting off the lights. Sighing a second time, the stallion headed downstairs, ready to attend any customers that may come in for a last minute snack.
It had been a good day. ‘Good’ meaning normal, of course. And quiet. And calm. And peaceful. And tranquil. And just about every other synonym for ‘not-Pinkie-esque.’ Not that Mr. Cake didn’t like Pinkie. In fact, he loved her like a daughter. The problem was that the pink mare could be a little difficult to handle at times, and the Cakes rarely ever had a quiet moment to themselves ever since she had moved in. Worse so ever since it was discovered that she was a bearer of an Element of Harmony. Not that Mr. Cake wasn’t proud of Pinkie when they found out.
The thing was, ever since Pinkie Pie and her friends were revealed to be the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, the town had gotten a lot crazier. And nuttier. And more chaotic. And apocalyptic. And cotton candy clouds. And Ursa Minors. And parasprites. And eternal night brought on by a deity previously believed to be in exile for over a millennium. Basically, every description and synonym for, what some would call, ‘bat-shit insane.’ As such, the Cakes came to appreciate moments of calm even more than ever before, as few and far between as they were.
Mr. Cake made it to the bottom floor and into the kitchen. He paused a moment to just savor the silence, and to crack his back. It was still sore from when his lovely wife forced him to sleep on the couch. Apparently, as he would later learn, “But honey-bunny, I only imagined myself having sex with Princess Celestia” is neither the best, nor the smartest way to end an argument with ones wife.
Still, he managed to get the kinks out of his spine easily enough. Smiling contently, he walked over to one of the kitchen’s cabinets, pulled out a kettle, and began preparing himself some tea. Once the hot brew was finished, he carried it back to the front counter, and sat in front of the register. He took a sip of his drink, and checked the day’s profits.
“Hmmmm,” he hummed loudly. Not that much, but I guess that makes sense for such a slow day. He groaned in satisfaction. Slow…and calm.
Taking one look around his empty store, he did feel a little disappointed that almost nopony had come today, but he supposed that was normal for a Sunday; especially one this hot. Besides, it’s not like they were struggling. In fact, he had been talking with his wife about extending the shop. Heck, maybe even open a new bakery all together.
Yes, life was good for the stallion. Especially on such a day that was quiet. And calm. And peaceful. And Tranquil.
Yup, absolutely nothing could ruin his Sunday…
Applejack and Jorge were only a few minutes away from Ponyville now. After he finished bathing, the Spartan donned his armor and the two started on their way to the town. While putting on the metal suit was much harder than pulling it off, he did it quickly enough. He had even slipped on his helmet again. The two walked side by side, the pony telling Jorge all about her family reunion and its disastrous results.
“…and then everypony pitched in and fixed that there barn lickity split,” concluded Applejack. “The reunion turned out great at the end of the day.”
“Sounds like it,” nodded Jorge. “So how many times has your barn been destroyed exactly?”
“Ah lost count at this point,” answered the pony with a shrug. “And it ain’t like they’re that hard tah rebuild anyways.”
Jorge hummed in response, and the two fell into silence. The two continued marching without saying a word, content to enjoy the walk. Soon cottages appeared in the distance once again, and they approached the entrance of the town. As they neared the village, a thought entered Applejack’s head, and she bit her lower lip and shifted her eyes to the Spartan.
“Hey Jorge?”
“Yes?” asked Jorge without taking his eyes off the road.
“Can ah ask you somethin’?”
“You just did.”
“Okay then, now I have two questions.”
“Go ahead.”
“First off, do you always have tah be such a smart-ass?” asked Applejack somewhat irritated.
“Yes,” answered the Spartan gruffly. “Anything else?”
This time Applejack hesitated, causing Jorge to look down at her curiously. “Ah was just wondering…” began Applejack, her voice laced with caution. “How did you get them scars on yer body?”
Jorge scowled. “Occupational hazards.”
“That’s some occupation you got there,” muttered the pony. “What exactly do you do?”
“I’m a soldier.”
Applejack waited for him to elaborate but he remained silent, keeping his gaze fixed on the road ahead. “That’s it? What did you do as a soldier?”
Rather than answer the pony, Jorge decided to respond with his own question. “So what about you? When do you plan on talking to your love interest?”
Applejack stopped dead in her tracks and glared at the Spartan. “Now let’s get somthin’ clear right now. Ah don’t know where you got it in yer thick skull of yers that I liked another mare that way, much less another mare like Rarity, but y’all need tah stop. Ah never said anything of that sort. There ain’t nothin’ goin’ on there, so you can just forget ‘bout it.”
The soldier shrugged defensively. “Fair enough. As long as you forget about my personal life.”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed, and she huffed in annoyance. “Fine.” She was left grumbling to herself as the two walked into town.
The village was as lively as ever, despite the rapidly descending sun. Children frolicked along its streets, playing games among alleys in which they slayed imaginary beasts. The Sunday market was coming to an end, and weary farmers were closing their stalls. As was the case almost every Sunday, the venders all joined their friends and family in the square, and came together for a drink and a laugh. The market was quickly transformed into a sort of festival, and ponies opened up barrels of cider and passed out mugs of the sweet liquid. The smell of tobacco spread through the air as older ponies lit up pipes, and joined each other for yet another round of good natured bickering and nostalgia. Berry Punch opened up a barrel of some of her best wine, and offered a drink to any pony passing by. Before long the air was alive with laughter as the festive atmosphere took over.
Yet another end to another glorious summer afternoon in the quaint village.
No one enjoyed these days more than Carrot Top. The orange maned mare trotted through the throngs of ponies happily, having recently closed her carrot stand. The warm atmosphere always brought a smile to her lips, and feelings of utter joy seized her insides as she watched the ponies of the village mingle (and it didn’t hurt her mood that she had made an unusually healthy amount of bits that particular Sunday). A group of fillies and colts ran between her legs, screaming excitedly to each other and almost causing her to fall over. Rather than yell at them in annoyance as she would have done almost any other day, she instead chuckled and looked upon the playful foals with fondness.
Such was the power that the Sunday market had on the folks of Ponyville.
Carrot Top pushed her way through a particularly crowded portion of the square, deeply taking in the aroma of vegetables that were being cooked by some of the ponies in the plaza, and broke through into a clearing. She cantered happily towards a familiar stall, and was immediately greeted with smiles.
“Hey there, Carrot Top!”
“Hi, Berry Punch, hey guys,” greeted the yellow earth pony as she sat down on a stool next to Colgate and Roseluck. “How’re you girls doing?”
“Oh, can’t complain,” replied Roseluck with a shrug. “You know how it is; Sundays are always a little crazy.”
“Don’t I know it!” laughed Carrot Top. She heard a grumble to her right, and turned around to find Colgate stooped over Berry Punch’s stand with a glass of wine between her hooves. “What’s wrong Colgate?”
“I hate this rotten day,” muttered Colgate. All the mares at the stall rolled their eyes and smiled knowingly at each other.
“Every Sunday, Colgate,” droned Berry Punch with a shake of her head. “Just get over it already!”
“It just sucks, okay!?” cried out Colgate, annoyed. “I have to sit there in my stupid office hoping for someone to come in so I can treat them. But nopony ever does. It’s sooooo booooooring.”
“Why don’t you just close your clinic on Sundays then?”
Colgate said nothing; she just blushed and smacked her face against the wood of the counter, grumbling to herself.
“What was that?” asked Carrot Top.
The blue dentist raised her head, the blush having intensified. “I said: There’s a cute stallion who always sets up his shop in front of my clinic on Sundays.”
Carrot Top and Roseluck squealed excitedly, prompting an eye roll from the purple mare behind the counter.
“Ooooh, tell us everything,” giggled Roseluck.
Colgate turned bright red as she suddenly regretted opening her mouth. “I-It’s just some stallion I want to ask out for Hearts and Hooves day. It’s no big deal.”
“Well you’d better hurry. It’s only in a couple more days,” said Berry Punch, pouring herself a small glass of wine.
“Let’s not talk about it, please?” pleaded the blue unicorn.
“Fine,” huffed Carrot Top in disappointment. “Besides, I’ve been meaning to ask you something, Berry.” Berry’s eye brow rose. “You were at the party that Pinkie threw a few days ago, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you see the…” Carrot Top looked back and forth nervously as if to make sure no one was looking “…the human?” she whispered.
Roseluck shuddered as Colgate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Berry Punch tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Nah, I don’t think so,” she answered with a casual shrug. “I don’t remember much of that night. All I know is that when I woke up, I had the weirdest urge to go ask Thunderlane for some ice-cream.”
Colgate grinned mischievously at the purple pony. “Ice-cream being…?”
Berry snorted into her wine with irritation. “Pervert.”
“You’re one to talk!” accused the dentist as she pointed at the purple pony reproachfully. “Anyways, I bet you had a whole conversation with him but can’t even remember. You really need to lay off the wine, Berry.”
“Oh come on! I get drunk once or twice a year, but because I happen to make wine I immediately become the town’s drunk.” Berry Punch took a dainty sip of her glace, and shot her roommate a glare. “Besides, I think I would remember talking to a human, Colgate.”
“Who wouldn’t,” murmured Roseluck. “Remember when it came to town? That thing waved his hand at me! I swear he was trying to claw me. I was so terrified I passed out!” Carrot Top grabbed Roseluck’s hoof and squeezed it comfortingly. “I don’t care what the Princesses said, that thing’s a menace.”
“There, there,” cooed the carrot farmer. “It’s alright, that thing’s gone now. He won’t bother you again. Here, let’s talk about something else.” She turned to face Colgate, and gave her a lecherous smirk. “Like Colgate’s coltfriend.”
“Carrot Top!” squeaked Colgate shrilly, prompting a chuckle from the other mares. The subject of the insidious human forgotten, the girls began teasing poor Colgate about her estranged lover before moving on to their favorite topic: gossip. Ponies continued cooking, drinking, laughing, and all around having a great time as they relaxed after a day’s hard work and took advantage of the last few hours of sunlight. Soon the plaza was filled with barbeques as families stir-fried and roasted vegetables for the community to enjoy. And all the while the cider and wine kept flowing. The stand where the four mares were sitting at quickly became the center of attention, as Berry Punch decided to just give away her last few barrels of wine.
However, just as Carrot Top was about to tell her friends another lewd joke, the market place fell silent. It took the yellow mare a moment to notice what had happened, but when she did she felt a shiver run up her spine. Mere moments ago she was having trouble hearing herself over the torrent of laughter, but now if one were to drop a pin it would have made a gloriously cacophonous roar.
The confused mare whipped her head back and forth, trying to find out what had happened. The warm glow in her stomach (courteous of the wine) was replaced by a cold pain that jabbed her insides. She noticed that Colgate, Berry Punch, Roseluck, and just about everyone else in the plaza were all gaping in one direction; their jaws were unhinged, and their eyes were wide. Carrot Top turned around to see what they were all staring at, and soon her face mirrored theirs.
There, standing at the entrance of the town’s square, was a tall, bulky figure. It didn’t take long for Carrot Top to realize that it was the dreaded human that had been plaguing the village for the past few days. The mare also noticed that there was a pony standing right next to the demonic biped, and she quickly recognized her as Applejack. Nopony said a word as the pair stood at the threshold to the plaza. Everypony just stared nervously at the duo. Carrot Top could see Applejack talking to the human. Then, the two started walking.
Everypony desperately scrambled messily out of the way to clear a path for the monstrous biped and its pony companion; knocking over grills and stands in a desperate attempt to get out of the beast’s path. Ponies were sure to give them a healthy distance, murmuring anxiously among themselves and fidgeting nervously as the two calmly walked through the crowd.
Carrot Top understood too late that they were heading straight for her; for no sooner did she realize this that she suddenly found herself in the shadow of the steel behemoth. The carrot farmer gulped loudly and slowly rotated her head to look up to the dreaded creature of myth. It was totally faceless, instead wearing some sort of orange glass where its face should have been, making it all the more frightening. Carrot Top looked back at her reflection displayed on the monster’s ‘face,’ and quivered in fear.
“Howdy there, Berry Punch,” greeted Appejack.
“Hey, Applejack,” replied Berry Punch casually, ignoring everypony’s reactions. “Who’s your handsome friend?” Carrot Top, Colgate, Roseluck, and just about everypony in the plaza looked at her like she had gone insane.
Applejack herself blinked in surprise, before smiling thankfully and waving to Jorge. “This here’s mah friend Jorge.”
Jorge gave the purple pony a small nod, though it was hard to tell with his helmet on. “Good afternoon.”
Carrot Top heard a gasp to her left, and turned just in time to see Roseluck bring her hoof up to her forehead and pass out in fear. Colgate rushed to the fallen mare, and began fanning her furiously. Berry Punch looked down at Roseluck with a bored expression before turning back to the cowpony in front of her. “What can I do you for, Applejack?”
“Oh ah’m just here to pick up a few things.” The orange mare handed the wine vender a small piece of paper, which she inspected carefully.
“Hmmm,” hummed Berry as her eyes ran over the list. “Yeah, I still got these in stock. Just give me a second.” She ducked under her stall and began rummaging through her belongings. Jorge and Applejack just stood there patiently, acting completely oblivious to the fact that half the entire town was gawking at them. After about a minute or two, Berry Punch returned with a couple bottles and placed them on the table.
“Here you go. Finest vintages I got.”
“You say that ‘bout all yer vintages,” pointed out AJ with a roll of her eyes.
“True, that’s because they’re all the finest.”
“Wait a minute, now I recognize you,” said Jorge suddenly, pointing to Berry Punch. “You’re that drunk mare I had tea with the morning after my welcome party.”
Every single eye in the town square was fixed on the wine maker, who was tapping her chin in deep thought. Her face lit up, and she looked at Jorge with new found recognition. “I remember. You’re that sexy human dude who listened to me babble on about Thunderlane or something, right?” Jorge nodded, and didn’t seem fazed at being described as ‘sexy’. “I knew it wasn’t a dream. If I remember right you couldn’t take your eyes off my flank.”
Now it was Applejack’s turn to gape at the human. “Well it wasn’t like I had a choice with you shoving it in my face,” snorted Jorge.
“Hey, I was just trying to give you a little taste of the merchandise is all. So, has any of our town’s fine bachelorettes asked you out for Hearts and Hooves Day yet, stud?”
“Not yet. Why, you offering?”
Berry Punch burst out laughing. “Sorry stud, not exactly. I could see why you’d be interested though. Nah, I was asking for my good friend Carrot Top over here is all.”
“WHAT!?!”
“The thing is,” continued Berry Punch, ignoring her friend’s flummoxed expression. “…poor Carrot Top over here hasn’t gone out with a stallion in like a year. A mare can’t go that long without getting laid, it isn’t healthy. She needs a big stallion, or human or whatever, like yourself to satisfy her. She has big needs. You might be in for some long nights…” The purple pony brought her hooves up in a suggestive manner, causing many parents in the plaza to cover their children’s eyes and give the mare outraged looks. “…if you know what I mean?” She gave the human a not-so-subtle wink. Carrot Top covered her head in her hooves and tried to force some unwanted (albeit ‘hot’) images out of her head.
“I think I know what you mean,” chuckled Jorge.
“…I’m talking about your di-”
“We all know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, Berry Punch!” shouted Applejack, her own face flushed. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we got some errands tah run. How much do ah owe you?”
“It’s on the house.” Applejack opened her mouth to protest but Berry immediately stopped her. “Don’t even think about it, apple bucker. I’ve been giving this stuff away for free for the past hour anyways. If I charged you I would be ripping you off. Just take ‘em.” Applejack reluctantly thanked Berry, and grabbed her bottles before making her way out of the plaza.
“Goodbye, Berry Punch,” said Jorge. “It’s been a pleasure.”
“Not yet, but maybe if you play your cards right it will,” smirked the earth pony, causing Jorge to snort with laughter. The human followed Applejack through the crowd, creating a path with his mere presence. Once they were gone, every pony in the town square goggled at Berry Punch, who looked around in confusion as if suddenly noticing their presence.
“What?” she asked innocently.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the crowd, a charcoal colored pegasus with a grey mohawk was eyeing Carrot Top with sudden interest. A year, eh?
“I think that went pretty well.”
“They were scared stiff of me again,” growled Jorge.
“Yeah, but at least they didn’t run away or anythin’,” offered Applejack lamely. “Besides, Berry Punch seemed tah like you.”
“Great. So far the only ponies that can stand me are the insane ones and the perverts.” Applejack gave Jorge a pointed glare, which he pretended not to notice. “Be honest with me, do I need to be worried about Berry Punch?”
The apple farmer waved her hoof dismissively. “Nah. She’s just foolin’ around. She ain’t serious ‘bout…you know.”
“Sex?”
Applejack blushed, and coughed into her hoof. “Y-yeah.”
“Anyways, what are we doing here again?” asked the soldier, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
“We just gotta run some errands,” replied Applejack, thankful for the change of topic. She wasn’t the most comfortable pony when it came to discussing intimate subjects. “First ah need to tah stop at Quills and Sofas tah pick up a…”
“Let me guess,” interrupted Jorge flatly. “A quill or a sofa?”
“Ha, ha,” deadpanned Applejack with a roll of her eyes. “No, mister smarty-pants. Ah just need tah pick up some bits the owner owes me is all. Then we’re gonna head over tah Sugarcube Corner and then the library tah drop some thangs off, okay?”
Jorge shrugged and cracked his neck. “Fair enough. I needed to get out of that clock tower.”
The two continued along the semi-deserted streets of Ponyville until they arrived at their first destination: Quills and Sofas. Applejack told Jorge to stay wait outside while she completed her business transaction. Her reasoning was that there was no need for the Spartan to cause a ‘ruckus.’ In truth, he was just too big to fit through the ‘damn door’ as he called it. So Jorge was forced to stay put a few feet away from the shop’s entrance, grumbling to himself.
The shop was like most other shops in Ponyville, in that it looked absolutely nothing like a shop. Similar to a medieval tavern back on Earth, the store was built into a cottage that looked no different than one of the many residences it surrounded. In fact, had the door not featured a blue, wooden sign picturing a white feather and a red couch hanging overhead, Jorge would have just dismissed it as something inconsequential; another home perhaps. This was not the first time the Spartan had seen the shop however. A few days ago, when the Princess was giving him a tour under the guise of her invisibility spell, the group had passed by the shop. Jorge remembered thinking that it was rather curious.
‘Curious’ meaning that it was the stupidest thing he had ever seen, easily cracking to the top of his list of the most bizarre and outright ridiculous things he had witnessed since arriving.
The stupidity of the shop however, was only outdone by the stupidity of the fact that not only did a shop that only sold quills and sofas exist, but that such an establishment had not yet gone out of business. In fact, the store seemed to be doing quite well if the three story building it occupied was any indication. This prompted Jorge to ponder the supply/demand ratios the village of Ponyville had for quills and sofas, and whether or not the goods were really such an essential commodity for the ponies.
His musings were cut short by a small, yellow blip on his motion tracker. Before he could react, he felt something smack him upside the head, causing his shield to glow in protest. He turned around to try and discern what had hit him, and saw a pegasus sitting on the ground, rubbing her nose.
“Ow,” muttered the pony, her voice somewhat nasally from the hitting her snout. The pegasus was a mare, that much was clear. She was grey, had a messy yellow mane, and her flank bore the image of a cluster of bubbles.
“Are you alright?” asked Jorge.
“Yeah, I’m good.” The mare continued rubbing her snout, before standing up and opening her eyes. Much to the Spartan’s surprise, one of her eyes was staring directly at him, while the other began to lazily drift off and look in other directions. Still, they both widened when they got caught sight of him, making it fairly obvious that she could see him.
And now comes the part where she freezes up in terror, thought the soldier cynically.
“Wow, you’re big,” chirped the pony before outstretching her hoof. “My names Ditzy Doo, it’s nice to meet you.”
Jorge didn’t say anything. He just stared at Ditzy, who was beaming at him and waiting for him to take her hoof. “Pleasure to meet you Miss Doo,” said the soldier as he shook the pony’s hoof. Ditzy looked at her grey leg in fascination before giggling.
“Sorry about bumping into you.”
Jorge shrugged. “It’s no problem, I’ve had worse.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” laughed Ditzy. “I’m always bumping into stuff; Lampposts, signs, walls, trees, big people.” The pegasus gestured to Jorge when saying that last one. “Hey, I just realized you didn’t tell me your name,” she exclaimed with mock anger.
“It’s Jorge Zero Five Two. You can just call me Jorge.”
“Sure thing, Jorge. You can call me Derpy if you want.”
Jorge frowned and tilted his head quizzically. “Derpy?”
“Yup. Almost everypony in Ponyville calls me Derpy. You know, cuz of the eyes?” The pegasus pointed to her eyes. Jorge noted that their golden color was really quite beautiful. Of course, that didn’t take away from the fact that they were looking in opposite directions.
“Don’t you find that insulting?” asked Jorge.
Ditzy pondered the question for a moment. “Nah, not really. When I was little my dad gave me some advice. He said ‘Ditzy, it doesn’t matter what you do, there will still be ponies who will make fun of you cuz of your eyes. Don’t ignore it. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you .’”
“Your father sounds like a very wise person,” murmured the human.
“Yup, he sure was.”
Before either of them could say anything more, they heard a small bell sounding from the store’s front entrance. Applejack walked out followed by a brown stallion with a blue couch and a quill for a cutie-mark.
“Thanks for the bits, Sharp Quill.”
“No problem, Applejack. Sorry it took so long to get them to you.”
“If you come over tah the farm later, ah can get you that cider you asked fer.”
“That sounds gre-” The shop owner seized up when he noticed Jorge. The Spartan began ticking off a mental checklist: First, the stallion’s pupils shrunk. Then his fur stood on end. Then his breathing quickened, followed by intense trembling. In a sense, it had become all too predictable for the soldier.
Jorge looked at the terrified stallion. “Boo.”
The shop owner screeched (like a little filly), and rushed back into his shop before shutting the door behind him, nearly tearing it off its hinges. Applejack gave the Spartan a flat, un-amused stare, which he was more than happy to ignore. Ditzy looked between the door and the human in confusion. “I don’t get it,” said the pegasus as she scratched her head. “All you said was ‘boo.’”
“Did you really have tah do that?” asked Applejack in irritation.
“He would have done it eventually,” reasoned the Spartan. “This way we get to skip another five minutes of mindless babbling.”
Applejack sighed and shook her head in defeat. “Howdy there, Derpy,” she greeted when she noticed the pegasus.
“Hi, Applejack!” hailed Ditzy enthusiastically.
Jorge tensed, and the corner of his eye twitched in anger. He shot Applejack a scowl, but she was unable to see it under his helmet. “Where do we go now?” growled the Spartan.
Applejack paused and gave him a curious look. “We’re…we’re goin’ tah Sugarcube Corner,” she answered cautiously, confused by Jorge’s sudden change in demeanor.
“Sugarcube Corner!? That’s where I’m going!” said Ditzy. “Can I tag along? I need to pick up my weekly supply of muffins.”
“Sure thang, Derpy.”
The trio resumed their journey through the town. Applejack was content to remain silent, while Ditzy began rambling to Jorge about her favorite types of muffins, going into excruciating detail about the differences between a raspberry and a blueberry muffin. Jorge just listened politely and dared not interrupt the pegasus, who’s mouth began to water as she described the texture of recently baked poppy seed muffins. As they passed, ponies distanced themselves or outright ran away from the entourage, which wasn’t all that surprising. What was surprising (and ultimately somewhat relieving to Jorge) was that there were a few ponies who didn’t shy away from him. They eyed him nervously, but didn’t go out of their way to avoid him. In fact, there were one or two who cautiously approached him to get a better look; although Jorge noticed these were generally children.
“Look, we’re here,” said Applejack, interrupting Ditzy as she explained the eccentricities in making a strawberry muffin. Jorge looked to where the cowpony was pointing. Just when he thought nothing could faze him anymore, his jaw unattached itself from his face.
It was a giant gingerbread house. The walls were standard enough, but were quickly lost under the utter absurdity of the rest of the architecture. The windows were bright pink, as well as the door, which was surrounded by a pair of candy cane columns (these were, shockingly, the tamest aspects of the building). The roof’s shingles looked like chocolate cookies, and a white, frosting-like décor ran along their edges, giving the top of the structure the appearance of a cake. A massive tower poked out of the top of the roof, capped by a giant cupcake with three birthday-candle-shaped lamps sticking out of it. Finally, as if it wasn’t obvious enough that the place was a bakery, there was a sign picturing a cupcake hanging next to the front entrance.
Evidently, ponies had yet to grasp the finer nuances of subtlety.
Jorge stood, gaping at the structure for a full minute, before being brought back to reality by Applejack. “You comin’ or what?” Jorge shook his head clear and followed both mares to the front entrance of the shop. Much to his relief, the Spartan found that he could fit through. The trio walked inside. The interior of the store was like any standard bakery.
“Uh…hello?” called out Applejack.
“Be with you in a second, deary!” replied a voice from a back room behind the counter.
“This is a bad idea,” muttered Jorge.
“What are you talkin’ ‘bout?”
“I mean that I’m going to freak someone out. I should have just waited outside.”
No sooner did he finish speaking that a chubby, blue mare, with a curly, red mane resembling frosting walked out from what Jorge assumed was a kitchen. She sauntered up behind the counter, and smiled at Applejack. When she noticed Jorge however, her smile turned to that of a worried frown.
“Hey there, Applejack,” greeted the blue mare. “Uh…what’s this?” She gestured to Jorge.
“Oh, this is mah friend Jorge.”
The Spartan raised his hand in greeting. “Hello.”
“Oh my, you are a big one,” chuckled the blue mare, a hint of nervousness in her voice.
“Gee, ah gotta say Mrs. Cake ah’m impressed. We kinda expected you to…uh…freak out a little when you saw Jorge.”
Mrs. Cake clutched one of her sides as she let out a hearty laugh. “Please, sweetie. After living with Pinkie for the better part of six years, this is hardly the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Did somepony say my name!”
“Jesus Christ!” Jorge jumped back and instinctively whipped his pistol out of its holster as Pinkie’s face materialized in front of his visor out of nowhere. The pink pony, who had been standing on the Spartan’s head, slowly descended to the ground at a physics defying speed. She beamed at the Spartan with a smile that (quite literally) stretched off her face. What the fuck!? Why the HELL didn’t she appear on my motion sensor? “Pinkie…how the hell did you get on my…screw it, I don’t even want to know!”
“Pinkie,” scolded Mrs. Cake in a motherly tone. “What did we talk about scaring the customers?”
“Sorry Mrs. Cake,” said Pinkie bashfully. “It’s just that I heard somepony say my name, and then I saw Jorgie was here and I got really, really, really excited because I hadn’t seen him in a couple days! Hi there, Jorgie! Did you like my present?”
Jorge took a second to compose himself. He slipped his pistol back into his holster, and checked his motion sensor to make sure he wouldn’t experience any more unpleasant surprises. “Hello, Pinkie,” greeted the Spartan, turning his attention back to the excitable mare. “Yes, they were delicious. Thank you very much.”
“Ah, don’t worry silly. It was my pleasure!”
“Listen, Pinkie,” said Mrs. Cake trying to gain Pinkie’s attention. “Would you mind attending to Ditzy and Applejack please? I’ve got to go…” she glanced anxiously at Jorge “…warn poor Carrot about Jorge here. You know how jumpy he can be. I wouldn’t want him to wake up and come down only to pass out if he sees him.”
“Sure thing, Mrs. Cake!”
The chubby baker climbed up a staircase and left the three mares and the human downstairs. “So what can I do you for?” asked Pinkie, jumping behind the counter in a single hop.
“I’m here to pick up the usual, Pinkie,” explained Ditzy.
“Okie dokie lokie! Be back in a jiffy.” Pinkie disappeared through the back door, and exactly one jiffy later (which Jorge calculated was roughly .46 seconds) Pinkie appeared again hefting a massive brown bag labeled ‘Derpy.’ “Here…you go…Derpy,” grunted the pink mare as she dropped the enormous bag in front of the grey pegasus’ hooves. The sack landed on the floor with a loud *thud*, which echoed throughout the shop and rattled the building’s windows.
“What’s in this?” asked Jorge, tapping the bag with the tip of his foot.
“Muffins!” chirped Ditzy happily.
Jorge stared at the bag in disbelief. He would have rubbed his eyes if not for his helmet. “This is all muffins? This must be at least three tons!”
“Yup! My weekly supply.”
The Spartan stared at the smiling muffin addict, trying to quantify how it was possible that such a small pony could eat so many muffins. “You must really like muffins,” he muttered after his brain huffed a resounding ‘screw it,’ and gave up trying to find any logic in what was going on.
“You. Have. No. Idea,” stated the pegasus, suddenly deathly serious. She chucked a bag full of bits towards Pinkie, who caught it in her mouth and put it in the cash register.
The sound of crying was heard coming from upstairs, quickly getting louder and louder. Before long Mrs. Cake returned with two crying baby foals in her hooves. One was a beige pegasus with a brown mane, while the other was a unicorn with a yellow coat and an orange mane.
“The twins woke up again,” she grumbled wearily. “Here Pinkie, can you…you know?”
“I’ll get the flour,” sighed the pink pony before going into the kitchen. Jorge and Applejack stood uncomfortably, unsure of what to do while Mrs. Cake tried to calm her infants. Ditzy meanwhile, happily began scarfing down her muffins.
One of foals, the unicorn, popped open its tear laden eye for a brief second. When she caught a glimpse of the Spartan, her cries slowly began to falter, and her tears ceased to flow. Mrs. Cake gaped at her daughter as the infant started laughing and stretching her tiny hooves to the human. Upon hearing his sister’s laughter, the beige pegasus also stopped crying to see what was going on. When he noticed Jorge he too giggled and tried to reach for the Spartan.
“They…they stopped,” whispered Mrs. Cake, relief and confusion palpable in her voice. She looked up at Jorge with new found reverence. “How in Celestia’s name did you do that?”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Does this mean I won’t have to cover myself in flour?” asked Pinkie from the doorway as she hefted a large sack on her back. The foals continued giggling and trying to squirm their way out of Mrs. Cake’s grip and towards the Spartan. The yellow unicorn’s horn started glowing, and she levitated itself out of Mrs. Cake’s grip and floated towards Jorge. Before anyone could do anything, the foal floated in front of the human, and dropped herself into his grasp.
“Pumpkin Cake!” gasped Mrs. Cake in fright.
“Don’t worry Mrs. Cake, Jorgie’s super nice,” assured Pinkie. “He won’t hurt Pumpkin Cake.” As if to confirm Pinkie, Pumpkin Cake began giggling madly. Jorge stared at the infant’s blue eyes with a quizzical expression. Using one hand to grasp Pumpkin, he raised his other and used it to pull off his helmet before dropping it onto the ground. He smiled at the infant and began tickling its belly with his metallic finger, causing her to giggle even louder. Pound Cake remained in Mrs. Cake’s grasp, but began to whine enviously at his sister.
“Hello there, little one,” whispered Jorge as he continued tickling the foal’s belly. “My name’s Jorge.”
“J-Jorge,” gurgled the foal, still outstretching her hooves towards the human. Jorge gave the unicorn a small smile as various ‘D’aaww’s could be heard throughout the room. Pumpkin began suckling on Jorge’s finger, her small blue eyes gazing upon the warm face of the human, who looked down at her with gentle fondness. Jorge noticed that her stubby little horn was glowing with a blue aura, and soon her entire body was encased in the glow. Even through his armor, the Spartan could feel a slight tingling in his fingers as the light from the foal’s horn began to intensify.
“She can do magic?” asked Jorge.
“Yes, newborn unicorns can manipulate magic the first few months after their birth,” answered Mrs. Cake. “Don’t worry though. It’s relatively harmle-”
A massive bolt of energy shot out of Pumpkin’s horn with a powerful *ZAP,* hitting Jorge straight in the chest. The Spartan flew back over the counter, and tore through the back wall like it was confetti. The doorway exploded into a shower of wood and stone as debris was thrown throughout the kitchen. Ditzy, Applejack, and Mrs. Cake covered their ears while the cacophony of destruction continued to echo through the bakery. Dust quickly settled all over the floor, and the mares opened their eyes to gape at what had happened. Even Ditzy’s eyes had temporarily straightened to gawk at the ruin that had been cast.
The wall behind the counter was caved in, exposing the kitchen behind it, which was almost entirely covered in rubble. Pots and pans were strewn about the ground, and cabinets from the pantry had collapsed. In fact, Mrs. Cake couldn’t tell if the white powder was obliterated stone from the destroyed wall, or sugar and flour from their supply cabinets. Pound and Pumpkin Cake were giggling madly, the latter levitating over the floor with her telekinesis and clapping her hooves together in satisfaction.
“Jorge!” cried out Applejack once she had regained her wits. The mares all galloped into the obliterated kitchen.
Jorge was lying face up on top of a recently crushed refrigerator that he had landed on. He groaned, and shook his head to try and rid it of any debris. His eyes stung with dust, and his armor was caked with white powders and jams from the bakery’s supplies. Thank god, he thought wryly. And here I thought I was going to go a whole week without being thrown through a wall.
“Jorge, are you alright!?” asked Applejack as she approached the groaning human. The Spartan sat up and brushed off some of the wreckage from his armor.
“Never better.”
Applejack gasped. “Yer bleedin’!”
“Am I now?” Jorge brought his hand the back of his head. As soon as his fingers made contact with the back of his skull he felt a sharp sting. He brought his hand back to his face, and saw that it was glistening with blood. “Huh, look at that.”
“We need tah get that healed up. Mrs. Cake, d’you have a-”
“Way ahead of you, deary,” mumbled the baker as she carried a white box emblazoned with a red cross.
“It’s fine,” assured Jorge. “It’s just a scratch.”
“Shut it,” ordered the apple farmer. “Bend over so ah can reach you.” Jorge sighed and did as he was told. Applejack opened up the first aid kit and examined the soldier. Despite his assurances, Applejack could tell the wound was deep. Blood was slowly gurgling up to the surface and dripping down the back of his neck, leaving crimson trails as it went. “Now hold still.” Jorge gritted his teeth as Applejack applied alcohol on the cut, but didn’t say anything. The pony deftly cleaned the wound and moved to wrap it with some bandages.
“I’m so, so sorry, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake, mortified.
“It’s fine,” assured the Spartan. “It’s just a flesh wound. I’m just glad that your daughter’s magic is harmless. I was worried for a moment.” Mrs. Cake felt a stab of guilt, but it eased when she noticed Jorge chuckle to himself.
“Woah, this place is trashed,” observed Ditzy as she stepped over a large chunk of stone.
“It won’t be a problem,” sighed Mrs. Cake wearily. “We’ll just have to tap into the Pinkie Fund is all.”
“Pinkie fund?”
“We always like to have a little money stored away in case Pinkie gets into one of her moods and something like this happens,” explained the blue mare.
“So you’re saying you have an entire fund kept specifically in case Pinkie causes some sort of property damage?” asked Jorge skeptically.
“Of course. Everypony living on this block has one.”
“All done,” announced Applejack before Jorge could ask anything else. The Spartan stood up, stretched his limbs, wiped off any dust and flour that was still on his armor, and followed the trio of mares back to the front of the shop. Pinkie Pie was standing in front of the two foals, who were sitting passively on the ground, and giving them stern looks.
“No Pumpkin. We do not throw our customers through walls,” she scolded. The infants paid no heed, for no sooner did Jorge walked through the gaping hole in the wall that they started giggling and stretching their legs to him once more. Pound Cake tipped over over trying to reach him, and began crawling toward the human.
“I think they really like you,” stated Ditzy.
“They have a funny way of showing it,” muttered Jorge humorlessly. Pound Cake reached his thick leg and tried climbing up it with little success.
“Honey, is everything alright?” called a male voice from upstairs. A lanky, yellow stallion with an orange mane ran downstairs. His mane was a mess and he had bags under his eyes, and as he climbed down the last few steps he stumbled a bit. “I heard a commotion and… I…”
The stallion trailed off as his eyes ran over the scene in front of him. His mouth opened and closed without emitting any sound as he gawked at the rubble-strewn kitchen. His eyes rolled back into his head, his legs began wobbling from side to side, and the stallion passed out as his knees buckled from under him.
Mrs. Cake sighed as she walked over to her unconscious husband and hefted him on her back. “Not again. I was afraid this would happen.”
“Is he gonna be okay?” asked Ditzy through a mouthful of muffin.
“Yes, don’t worry. This isn’t the first time this has happened.”
“Well this had been…fun,” said Applejack. “But it’s gonna be dark out soon, and we better get goin’. Let me just hand over yer delivery and ah’ll be on mah way.” Applejack removed a bottle of wine from her saddle bag and placed it on the counter.
“Thanks, dearie,” grunted Mrs. Cake, her husband beginning to snore on her back. “How much do I owe you?”
“Just a couple bits fer the delivery. Berry Punch gave ‘em tah me fer free.”
Jorge’s eyebrows shot up as Mrs. Cake handed Applejack the bits, and he gave the farmer an inquisitive stare. Applejack lowered her head in embarrassment and walked out the front door, followed by Derpy, who was somehow carrying the massive bag of muffins with ease. Jorge looked back to the Cakes and Pinkie Pie. “It’s been a pleasure,” he said, slipping his helmet back on.
“Likewise,” said Mrs. Cake as she fanned her husband. “Be sure to come back whenever you want, Mister Jorge. The twins’ll sure be happy to see you. Uh…let’s just hope they can play a little more gently next time.” Pumpkin Cake laughed and gurgled happily as she tried reaching for the human.
“Bye, Jorgie!” called out Pinkie. “See you later.”
Jorge gave the ponies a final nod, before following Applejack and Ditzy out the door. The two mares were waiting for the human right outside the door.
“Well I gotta go,” announced Ditzy cheerfully. “I’ll see you guys later. It was nice meeting you, Mister Jorge.”
“It was nice meeting you, Ditzy. I wish more people in this village could be like you,” said Jorge with a smile, which went unseen. Ditzy grabbed one end of the sack in her mouth and it began dragging it towards her home. Much to Jorge’s amusement, the pegasus managed to slip a muffin in her mouth as she did so.
“See you, Derpy!” called out Applejack with a wave as Ditzy left their view. Jorge shot the orange mare a cold glare.
“Do you really have to call her that,” he growled.
“What, ‘Derpy’?”
“It’s sounds demeaning.”
“Shoot, I don’t mean nothin’ by it. It’s just what she told me ah could call her.” Jorge didn’t say anything; he simply continued to grumble to himself.
Applejack gave him a curious look before marching down a street with Jorge walking behind her. “Why are you delivering wine all over the village?” he asked after a few minutes.
Applejack looked down at the ground in shame. “What? Ah can’t do mah friends favors now?”
“I don’t know how you ponies do things here, but where I come from we don’t charge others for favors. That’s typically called employment,” grunted Jorge cheekily.
Applejack shut her eyes and let a small growl gurgle from the back of her throat. “It’s good money, okay!?” she snapped. “Ah could always use a little more spending money on the side is all!” Despite Applejack’s answer, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. Still Jorge said nothing, waiting for the mare to calm down a bit. It was clear he had prodded a rather sensitive nerve, and it was best he didn’t aggravate her further.
“Where are we going now?” he asked, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.
“Ah just need tah make a quick stop to Twilight’s Library.”
“Need to do another ‘favor’?”
Applejack’s eyes tightened and she looked away from the human. “Y-yeah,” she whispered to herself.
Jorge hummed and pretended not to notice the pony’s behavior. “It’d be interesting to see the library again.”
“You don’t have tah go if you don’t want tah.”
“It’s not like I have much else to do.” And I need to find that little blue ball before it goes off.
“Ah just don’t wan tah see you wreckin’ the place again,” joked Applejack teasingly, momentarily forgetting her troubles.
The human snorted dismissively. “Please, I’ve already done enough damage today. Besides, I doubt I could wreck that library more than I have already.”
Twilight sat stooped over a large pile of notes on her desk. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, tense wrinkles plagued her previously soft face, and her eyes were heavy with bags from many sleepless nights. She pored over the papers in a delicate state of absolute focus. She was, as her friend Rarity would have put it, in the zone. The only things that occupied her plane of existence at that moment were her, and her papers; nothing more. It was a very delicate position to be in. Even the slightest noise, the slightest distraction, could send her into a-
*KNOCK**KNOCK*
“ARGH!!!”
Twilight cried out and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the knocking coming from her door. She waited a few minutes to let her heart rate get under control (as it ran the risk of ripping itself out of her chest) and to slow her breathing. Once she had calmed down enough, she gave an annoyed huff and made her way to the recently repaired front door. She opened it to reveal a familiar looking white unicorn.
“Hello, darling,” greeted Rarity, who was carrying a saddle bag that looked like it was about to burst. “How are you doing today? I didn’t interrupt anything, I hope?”
Yes, you kind of did. “Not at all, Rarity,” replied Twilight, trying to force a smile. The two stayed there, not saying a word. Twilight continued giving the dress-maker a large, fake smile while simultaneously praying to Celestia (and Luna, just to be safe) that she would leave, while Rarity’s content expression quickly descended into one of puzzlement.
“*Ahem* aren’t you going to invite me in?” asked Rarity none too subtly, giving her friend a confused smirk.
Twilight groaned mentally. I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that. “Yes…of course…sorry,” she mumbled awkwardly. The lavender moved aside to let her friend walk through, and followed.
“I see they repaired the library,” noticed Rarity.
At this Twilight genuinely perked up. “Oh yes! Princess Luna paid for it. She said it was her duty, considering it had been wrecked during ‘royal business.’”
“Where is the Princess by the way?” asked Rarity with forced nonchalance. “Didn’t she say she was going to stay in town to take care of Jorge?”
Twilight shook her head. “As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stay in Ponyville. The Princess told me she got a letter from Princess Celestia that she had to go back to Canterlot urgently on royal business. Apparently something really big’s going on and it’s got to do with Jorge.”
Rarity couldn’t help but look crestfallen. “But I had this dress specially made for her,” pouted the unicorn as she levitated a dark dress from her saddle bag. It was a single piece of obsidian-colored silk that ran down with a long tail at the end. When the purple unicorn looked closely she saw that small diamonds were sewn within the cloth, giving the dress the appearance of a starry night. Twilight could also see that it was quite revealing. “I spent the entire week working on it! I mean how often does one have a member of royalty as their neighbor?”
“It’s very nice, Rarity!” marveled Twilight. “Simple, yet elegant.”
“Yes, just like moi,” gloated Rarity with a toss of her mane.
Twilight rolled her eyes at her friend’s display. “Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll get a chance to give it to her.”
“Oh I would certainly hope so. By the way Twilight, you look somewhat…disheveled. I didn’t want to say anything but…”
“Gee, thanks for looking past it,” deadpanned Twilight.
“You know me,” said Rarity with a mischievous smirk.
“Yes I do. Anyways I’ve just been reviewing the notes I took during our brunch with Jorge. I spent the whole night writing my own theories about some of the things he told us about humans.” Twilight sighed tiredly. “I just wish I had more time to talk to him.”
“All in due time, my dear Twilight. All in due time.”
The conversation was punctuated with the shrill creaks and groans of the staircase that led upstairs. Both unicorns turned to see a pair of stubby, purple legs climb down the steps. “Hey Twilight, have you seen my- RARITY!?” As soon as he saw the white mare, the dragon eagerly began scrambling down the steps as fast as he could. In his haste to greet the mare of his dreams, Spike lost his footing and found himself falling down the steps, bouncing off each stair painfully as he tumbled down. Rarity and Twilight both winced every time he smacked his face, until he finally landed on the ground with a resounding *thud* (again, on his face).
Why is it always the face? thought Spike as he groaned face-flat on the ground.
“Dear me! Are you alright, Spikey Wikey?”
At the sound of his pet name, the dragon immediately scrambled onto his feet and looked away with a casual, almost bored expression. “Yeah, I’m good. No big deal,” he said suavely as he rubbed his fist against his chest and examined his claws with fake interest
Twilight giggled and moved toward Spike. “Smooth,” she whispered teasingly into his ear, causing his cheeks to gain a slight red hue.
“So Rarity,” began Spike, trying desperately to sound casual. “What are you doing here?”
Rarity couldn’t help but giggle at Spike’s display. She found his infatuation with her endearing, and although she knew that eventually she would have to sit down and have a serious talk with him about love, she couldn’t help but enjoy the adorable spectacle while he was still young. “Oh I’m just here to deliver something to the Princess.” The white unicorn sighed in disappointment. “But now that I know she’s not here, I suppose I should leave.”
“But you can’t leave!” cried out Spike, all pretense of coolness shattering at the sudden possibility of the object of his affection leaving. “You gotta stay for, like, five more minutes, okay?” Ignoring the puzzled looks from both mares, the dragon hurried back up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him.
“What was that all about?”
Twilight shrugged. She couldn’t understand her assistant sometimes. She was about to follow him upstairs and ask, when another knock came from her door. Twilight couldn’t help but grit her teeth. I’m never going to finish my work at this rate. “Coming!” The unicorn walked up to the front door, and opened it with magic to reveal Jorge and Applejack waiting patiently outside.
“Howdy, Twi.”
“Applejack, good to see you!” greeted the librarian. She was more interested in Jorge however, and looked at him excitedly while she thanked her good fortunes. “Hi, Jorge, still wearing your armor I see.”
“Hello,” grunted the human. “I see you fixed your door.”
“Yup! And I asked to make it bigger just for you.”
“I’m flattered,” rumbled Jorge. He followed Applejack and Twilight into the library, and noticed that that the kitchen had also been repaired. More than repaired, it looked completely refurbished. Even utilities that hadn’t been broken during the scuffle with the Princesses had been replaced with more modern (and more expensive) counterparts.
“Jorge, Applejack, so good to see you!” greeted Rarity.
“Hi…there…uh…Rares,” replied Applejack with a smile. Jorge just nodded.
“Listen Jorge,” said Twilight in a businesslike manner. “I was wondering if you could look over some of the notes I took about you. And maybe we could continue the discussion we started during breakfast with the Princess.
“Sure,” responded the soldier with a shrug.
“Oh, before y’all go runnin’ off tah to some research or whatever, I gotta give you somethin’, Twi.”
Twilight gave Applejack a confused looked, before brightening up. “Of course, now I remember. Let me just get some bits.” The unicorn began rummaging through her notes, grumbling in frustration as she tried to find coins in the swirling vortex of papers and rubbish known as her desk. Eventually she found what she was looking for: as small lavender coin purse. Levitating a handful of bits out, Twilight handed them over to Applejack, who in turn gave her a couple bottles of wine. The purple pony levitated them back into her kitchen, where she would save them for a special occasion.
Throughout the whole transaction Rarity gave Applejack a suspicious look, which the cowpony failed to notice. “So Jorge, are you ready?” asked Twilight, motioning over to her desk. The Spartan followed her there, and the two began analyzing Twilight’s papers. Meanwhile, Rarity and Applejack sat on the other side of the library; the former inspecting her hooves while the latter admired the new framework the library was given.
“So Applejack,” began Rarity suddenly, taking her eyes off her hoof. “How are things at the farm? You’re not pushing yourself too hard are you?”
“Work’s always hard, Rares,” answered Applejack with a chuckle. “Got bills tah pay, and whatnot. You know how it is.”
“Don’t I ever! I spent so much time working on Luna’s dress that I fell behind on all my orders.” The alabaster mare sighed dramatically and placed her hoof on her forehead. “I suppose many sleepless nights await me. And I didn’t even get to give her the stupid thing.”
“Well, you know, if yer havin’ trouble keepin’ up with yer orders ah’d be more than happy tah head over there and help.”
Rarity gave Applejack an amused smirk. “You, darling? Helping me at the boutique? Who are you and what have you done with real Applejack?” The unicorn gave a very lady-like giggle while Applejack just chuckled nervously. “Oh I expected Rainbow Dash to volunteer to model for be before you would ever offer to help me at the shop.”
“What? Ah can’t help a friend in need now?” snapped Applejack defensively.
“Oh no no no, I didn’t mean anything by it,” assured Rarity. “Quite the opposite, I’m thrilled that you would offer. But there’s no need to trouble yourself, darling. I’ll find a way to manage. Besides, you shouldn’t take time off working on your farm when there’s so much work to be done.”
Oh, right. The farm, thought Applejack, disillusioned. In her haste to offer to help Rarity, she had completely forgotten about the farm. “If you say so.” The two continued to talk about their work, eventually moving on to the topic of their little sister. It was one of the few topics they could relate to each other. Eventually the conversation descended into complaining about their sibling’s mishaps, which provided some good laughs. Meanwhile, Twilight and Jorge continued discussing humanity and its culture. Everyone was so engrossed in their respective conversations that no one seemed to notice a voice crying out ‘I FOUND IT!’ from upstairs.
Spike climbed downstairs quickly. Peewee was resting on his head, and he was holding four blue spheres in his claws. He paused when he noticed Jorge and Applejack in the room, and was about to say something but decided against it. More people to impress, I guess. He skipped to where Rarity was sitting with Applejack. The unicorn laughed at one of Applejack’s jokes, and the noise sounded like angelic music to the dragon’s ears. This is it. Time to win my love’s heart.
The dragon cleared his throat to try and get the mare’s attention. Much to his annoyance, it didn’t work. “Uh…hey Rarity, I wanna show you something.” The unicorn and earth pony turned to the dragon, who was giving them a toothy smile.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there Spikey-Wikey. What is it you want to show me?”
Spike looked up to his phoenix companion. “Alright buddy, just like we practiced.” Peewee chirped in understanding, and Spike tossed two of the blue balls in the air. Using one claw, the dragon caught one, before tossing it back up to make space for the second, repeating the motion continuously and nimbly juggling the two balls.
“Hey, look at that! Nice work, Spike,” praised Applejack.
“My, that is very impressive,” cooed Rarity indulgently. “Well done.” She turned her attention back to the apple farmer.
“Wait, I’m not done!” Spike quickly added a third ball to the fray, still using one claw to maintain all three in the air. He finally tossed the fourth and final orb, and began juggling the balls with both his claws. “Now Peewee!” Giving another happy chirp, the phoenix hatchling tucked his wings into his body before dropping into Spike’s claws. Peewee found himself being launched into the air along with the other balls as the baby dragon juggled all five objects. “Ta da!” announced Spike.
“Yes, very nice, Spikey,” said Rarity airily, not bothering to look at the dragon’s antics. Applejack gave Spike a sympathetic frown.
“But…but you’re not even looking,” muttered Spike as he struggled to keep the balls (and Peewee) under control. It proved a futile effort, as soon after the dragon began wobbling as he lost control. “Whoaoooa!” Spike tripped over his legs fell onto the ground (on his face). Peewee flew out of his claws as did the four blue spheres he was juggling. One of them suddenly lit up in an aura of blue light while flying through the air.
All three balls landed on the back of Spike’s head and bounced off in random directions. The last one however, landed onto his head and stuck to it like glue, emitting a quiet *beep* as it did so.
Spike groaned as he lifted his face from the ground. Seriously!? Why. Always. THE FACE!?! Rubbing his forehead, the dragon groaned a second time and stood up to brush himself off.
“Are you okay, Spike?” asked Applejack with some concern.
“Yeah, just dandy,” grumbled the dragon. I practiced that stupid trick for days, and I had to go blow it in front of Rarity.
“Spike, you have something on your…” Rarity motioned to her head, turning her attention back to the dragon.
“Huh?”
Applejack narrowed her eyes as she scrutinized the pulsating ball of blue light that was stuck to the top of Spike’s head. “What is that thing?” she asked, pointing to the flickering light.
“What thing!?” said Spike in a near panic. The dragon gasped and his eyes went wide with fear. “Is it a spider!? Get it off!”
“No, it’s like some sort of…blue…light thing.”
“A BLUE SPIDER!?! GET IT OFF!!!" Spike began flailing his claws around trying to get the ‘spider’ off his head.
“Calm down!” ordered Applejack sternly. “It ain’t a spider!”
“What are you yelling about!” screeched Twilight. She gave her friends a poisonous glare and made no effort to hide her displeasure. “We’re busy here.” Her look of irritation was quickly replaced with one of perplexity when she noticed the strange, glowing ball of light stuck to Spike’s head.
Jorge looked over to the baby dragon, himself curious of what the ruckus was about. The moment his eyes caught what was on his head his heart skipped a beat. Wasting absolutely no time, the Spartan violently shoved Twilight out of the way and lunged towards the purple reptile. He was there in two steps, and he picked up Applejack and Rarity and flung them to the other side of the room where Twilight was lying. The ponies all yelped in protest at the human’s violent display, bewildered at the sudden outburst. The sight of the massive super-soldier barreling towards him left Spike ramrod stiff with fear, and he could so little more than stare at the human as he tossed the ponies out of his way.
Jorge looked down at the dragon, who didn’t seem to notice that he had a deadly explosive attached to his head. Thinking fast, the Spartan picked up the tiny reptile in his massive hand, and pushed him up against the wall. Jorge pushed as much weight as he could on the dragon without hurting him; making sure to pin Spike in-between him and the book shelf.
Before Spike could protest, Jorge bent forward on one knee, and brought his arm up over his head before essentially punching the ground. The Spartan was encased in a bright glow, forcing the dragon to squint lest he be blinded by the sudden blue light that radiated off the human’s armor. Small cracks of lightning formed around the light, and Spike could see that the thick glow formed some sort of layer over the metal. The dragon tried to wiggle out of his position, but he was stuck between the wall to his back, and the weird lightshow that occupied his entire vision.
Jorge held his breath for what felt like an eternity. What’s going on? Why the hell hasn’t it gone off alrea-
Before he could even finish his thought, his vision flashed with a bright, blue explosion. He and everything near him was engulfed in a sea of light and heat. Even through the armor lock, the soldier could still feel slight warmth on his shoulder where the blast was concentrated. The plasma fire tore through everything it touched, save for the Spartan’s armor, which shielded the rest of the library from its wrath. The books behind Spike almost immediately burst into flames, and the ensuing shock wave was enough to shake the library. Being so close to the blast, the Spartan was partly deafened in his right ear by the sharp noise that followed the explosion. Despite this, he was still able to hear the gasps and cries of horror from the mares on the other side of the room.
Jorge waited a few seconds for his armor lock to drain before rising alongside the EMP blast. He didn’t move, and a suffocating silence quickly fell upon the room. The Spartan shut his eyes and gritted his teeth in frustration. God dammit! How did this happen!? He felt his body sag, and a familiar exhaustion oozed its way into him. I’m sorry, Spike...you bloody idiot…
Jorge suddenly heard a painful groan from his right. His eyes shot open, and he quickly whipped around to where the blast had gone off. As he had suspected, most of the books on that part of the library had been torched, and there was a big, black scorch mark that ran up the walls. However, what he was not expecting to find was a relatively unscathed Spike. The dragon was completely unharmed, save for a few dark marks charred onto his scales. He was wobbling precariously, and his eyes looked like Ditzy’s. In short, he looked like he had been hit in the head. Jorge could almost imagine little birds flying circles around his head.
“I want more… ice-cream…Twilight,” groaned the dragon dizzily before falling over (on his face) and moaning pitifully.
“WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT!?!” cried a voice behind the Spartan.
Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity all charged to the baby dragon, their faces contorted in apprehension. “Oh Spike,” lamented Twilight. She gently picked up the dragon, whose tongue was lolling out lazily.
“Why are there so many Peewees?” he giggled as he pointed airily in a random direction.
“I say again: WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT!?!” shouted Applejack.
Jorge turned towards the purple unicorn. “Remember that explosive I told you I left in your basement…well that won’t be much of a problem anymore.”
“Wait, did my ears deceive me or did you say ‘explosive?” asked Rarity. “Why in the world would you leave something like that in the library, never mind why you would be carrying it to begin with!?”
“It was damaged! I’m not going to go around carrying a broken bomb with me now am I?” asked Jorge cheekily. “For all I knew it could have gone off on my way to dispose of it. Come to think of it actually, the fact it was broken probably have saved your life; must have screwed with the timer or something. That thing should have exploded a lot sooner, and if it had I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”
Rarity gulped and stared at the burnt wall where the grenade had gone off. “That doesn’t explain what happened to your armor though.”
“That armor ability I was telling you at the party a few nights back? It’s called armor lock, and it’s what I just used to shield you guys from the blast.” A quiet groan brought everyone’s attention back to the limp dragon in Twilight’s legs. “Is he going to be alright?”
“He should be fine,” assured Twilight, though not without a hint of concern still in her eyes. “Dragon scales are tough. They can take remarkable amounts of damage without even getting a scratch…”
Evidently, thought Jorge as he examined Spikes scales with amazement. That blast would have ripped through my armor.
“…he’s just a little disoriented. He’ll be fine in a second or two.”
True to Twilight’s word, Spike coughed and his eyes focused as he brought a claw to his head. “Uh…my head’s killing me,” he moaned.
“Oh Spikey!” Rarity lunged forward and snatched the baby dragon away from Twilight, subjecting him to a tight hug. “I was so worried about you, I’m glad you’re alright.” The mare began peppering the poor dragon with quick kisses on his cheek. Jorge was pretty sure that that was doing more damage to the kid than the grenade, judging from the way his eyes were rolling into the back of his head. Though, if the positively stupid grin Spike was wearing was any indication, he was probably enjoying it.
Worked like a charm, thought Spike slyly as he basked in Rarity’s warmth. I should have learned juggling sooner!
“MY BOOKS!!!”
Everyone turned their attention away from the burnt dragon and towards the source of the cry. Twilight was kneeling in front of the burnt bookshelf, a look of a mixture between disbelief and sorrow on her features. Her jaw was practically grazing the floor. Dozens and dozens of books were smoking as their embers puttered out and died. ‘Books’ was probably not the best term for them anymore, seeing as how they had become blocks of ash.
“The…t-the…” stammered Twilight. She began stuttering incoherently as she picked up the nearest tome and began caressing it like a small child. The book quickly disintegrated into a pile of cinders in her hooves, and her lower lip began to tremble.
“Twilight darling, it’s alright. They were just books.” The moment the words left Rarity’s mouth everyone in the library, minus Jorge, winced. Rarity herself performed a facehoof. How could you say that!? She thought to herself in exasperation. Did you learn nothing from Pinkie Pie’s party preparation predicament!?! Before she could congratulate herself on her clever use of alliteration, Rarity was rendered mute by Twilight’s sudden giggling.
Everyone agreed that it was the creepiest damn thing they had ever heard.
Twilight slowly rotated her head to face the alabaster unicorn, almost turning her head a full one-eighty degrees without moving her body. Her right eye was twitching madly, her pupils were shrunk, her smile was deranged, and she carried the typical look that a serial killer donned before going on a rampage…so basically it was nothing Rarity wasn’t used to. Unfortunately, this did not dispel the sense of dread that clawed at the dressmaker’s chest. Everyone, including Jorge, took a nervous step away from the lavender mare. Spike was even preparing to head into the kitchen to get a frying pan.
“Just a book?” giggled Twilight. “JUST. A. BOOK!?!” She took a deep breath, ready to go on a wild and insane rant, when she sighed and sagged her shoulder. “Yeah, I suppose your right,” conceded the unicorn. Everyone blinked, and waited for their brains to process what she just said.
“Come again?” asked Rarity.
“You’re right,” sighed Twilight. “They’re just books. I’m just glad nopony was hurt.” She gave everyone a weak smile. “I’ll find some way to replace them.”
“Wow, Twilight,” said Rarity in shock. “That’s an awfully…er… sane attitude to have.”
Twilight nodded, not really noticing what Rarity had said. “This is going to take forever to clean up though,” she sighed.
“Don’t worry ‘bout that, sugarcube. We’ll help you out.”
Twilight smiled faintly at her orange friend. “Thanks, Applejack.” The group spent the next hour helping Twilight clean up the mess that was her library. Jorge wasn’t particularly happy about the arrangement, but figured that it was the least he could do considering it had been his grenade. Applejack used a broom to sweep up the remains of the literature, while the Spartan scavenged through the burnt wood to find any books that he could salvage. Rarity meanwhile comforted Twilight, who looked like she was about to cry (she in fact did cry briefly when they found her favorite Daring Doo book among the ‘casualties’ as she put it). Halfway through the cleaning up, the wooden shelves (and with it half the wall), having been burnt to a crisp by the grenade’s heat, collapsed in on itself. This resulted in another half hour of cleaning.
Eventually, once everything had been sorted out, Applejack and Jorge excused themselves, leaving Rarity to continue tending to Twilight. The sun was dipping under the horizon, washing the sky in a hue of orange and pink. They quickly left the village and headed back to their respective homes.
“Hey Jorge, can I ask you something?” queried Applejack as they walked side by side.
“Again? Sure, go ahead.”
“Have you ever gone a day without wreckin’ somethin’?”
Jorge put a finger on the chin of his helmet as pretended to think about the question. “Not than I can think of, but then again it was my job where I come from.”
“Yer job was tah wreck stuff?” asked the cowpony incredulously.
“To grossly oversimplify it: yes.”
“Huh…hey, Jorge?”
“Yes?”
“When you get home, don’t ever quit your day-job. You’re really good at it.”
The Spartan couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind. In all fairness though, I barely destroyed the library…this time.”
Now it was Applejack’s turn to laugh. The two continued on their way, gradually leaving behind the village. Before long they arrived to a familiar fork in the road.
“I suppose this is where we part ways,” said Jorge.
“Yep, I gotta get back tah the farm soon. Promised Granny Smith I’d help her make supper tonight...” Applejack’s eye’s widened abruptly as she smacked herself in the face in frustration. “Shoot! Ah completely forgot. Ah was supposed tah bring this last bottle over tah Fluttershy’s today.”
“Can’t you take it to her now?”
Applejack shook her head. “She don’t live all that close. ‘Sides, I gotta get home fer supper now, it’s getting’ pretty late.” Suddenly an imaginary light-bulb lit up over Applejack’s head. “Hey Jorge…could you do me a favor.”
The human’s eyes narrowed. “A favor, or a ‘favor’.”
“A real favor. Fluttershy lives not too far from your cottage. Do you think you could take this tah her today and give me the bits tomorrow?”
Jorge scrutinized the pony. His faceless, orange visor reflecting her smile as she waited for a response. “Fine,” he finally grumbled. “But I don’t know where she lives.”
“Just continue down this road, and take a right on the first path that heads tah the forest, you can’t miss it,” explained Applejack as she handed him the bottle. He made sure to hold it gently to make sure he didn’t break it. “I really appreciate this.”
“Well then, goodbye,” mumbled the Spartan.
“Goodbye. Oh and listen, Jorge. Uh…I just wanted tah say thanks…again. Fer, you know, forgiving me and such. I was acting like a real pain in the flank…well I guess we all were.” Applejack put her hoof on Jorge’s leg and gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry. You’ll get back home someday, I feel it.”
Jorge looked down at the pony in front of him. Her emerald eyes were sincere and filled with warmth. Giving her a curt nod, the Spartan turned away from Applejack and headed to where Fluttershy’s cottage was supposed to be.
“Oh, and one more thing,” called out Applejack to the rapidly departing human. “Fluttershy’s cottage is near the Everfree, so watch out fer any nasty critters that hang around there.”
Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. The human soon arrived to the trail Applejack mentioned, and took a right. Before long, trees began appearing on the side of the road as the human neared the forest. Forest creatures poked out of branches and bushes to glance curiously at the alien creature stomping through their domain, but Jorge paid them no head. He quickly arrived to a clearing, and looked up to see Fluttershy’s cottage.
And he thought Lyra and Bon-Bon’s home looked whimsical.
The cottage was a small dome with windows sticking out of the roof like warts. The roof itself was entirely covered in the greenest grass Jorge had ever seen, and the walls looked like were made of some sort of adobe. Flowers ran along the curved path up to the house, and strangest of all, bird houses populated every single tree surrounding the house.
Jorge crossed a short, arched bridge that rested over a small creak, and climbed up the path to the red front-door of the cottage. He knocked on the wood, and heard a commotion inside. The bottom half of the door opened to reveal a canary yellow pegasus with a pink mane and teal eyes.
As soon as Fluttershy opened her door and saw Jorge, she squeaked loudly and jumped back inside (which the Spartan couldn’t help but find absolutely adorable). “Oh, h-hello, Jorge” greeted Fluttershy shakily. “I-I wasn’t expecting y-you. Um…h-how can I h-help you?”
“Actually I’m just here to give you this.” Jorge presented the bottle to Fluttershy, who immediately perked up.
“Oh thank you!” she whispered (loudly). “Um…I thought Applejack was going to bring it…n-not that I mind you coming! I-it’s just that-”
“Calm down, Fluttershy,” chuckled Jorge. “Applejack couldn’t come, so she asked me to bring this for you instead.”
“Oh um, okay. Come in and I’ll get you the bits…if that’s all right with you?”
Jorge spread his hand forward in a ‘go ahead’ motion, and followed Fluttershy into her home, making sure to bend over when going through the doorway as usual. The interior of Fluttershy’s cottage was simple. There was no extravagant furniture, or even any gaudy décor. It was all very rustic, with humble wooden chairs and tables making up the bulk of the furniture. There was even a stone oven built into the wall, further reinforcing the rural aesthetic that the house had going on. The only things that really caught Jorge’s attention were the small stairs that ran all along the house. They seemed designed for small creatures rather than a pony. As if to confirm Jorge’s suspicion, a small, grey field mouse poked its head out of a hole in the wall, and scurried up one of the tiny ladders.
“Would you like some tea?” offered Fluttershy as she took the bottle and brought it into the kitchen.
“That would be lovely, thank you. You never struck me as the type to drink wine.”
“It’s not for me,” explained Fluttershy as she handed him a hoof-full of bits.” It’s for Angel. I just use it sometimes to cook.”
Angel?
“Please, sit down,” offered Fluttershy as she motioned to her couch. Suddenly becoming very self-conscious, she hid her face behind her pink bangs and looked away bashfully. “Um…if you want to.”
“Uh…I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Jorge. “I don’t want to crush your furniture.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh no, don’t worry about that. It’s very strong; it’s out of Ferrum wood from the Everfree.”
Looking at the furniture uncertainly, the Spartan slowly lowered himself onto the couch. He was surprised to find that it held his weight without any problem.
“What kind of tea would you like?”
Jorge removed his helmet and gave Fluttershy a warm smile. “Anything is fine, thank you.”
The pegasus returned the gesture and fluttered into the kitchen. Jorge waited patiently until he heard a whistle from the kitchen. Before long, Fluttershy returned holding two steaming mugs. She sat herself in front of Jorge and handed him his tea. The Spartan took a long, deep breath, taking in the aroma of the brew. Cautiously so as to not burn himself, he sipped the beverage and tasted peppermint.
“Do you like it?” asked Fluttershy nervously.
“It’s delicious,” answered Jorge sincerely. Say what you will of the little, yellow pegasus, but she sure knows her tea.
Before Fluttershy could say anything, the field mouse Jorge saw earlier rushed through one of the many holes in walls. He scurried up to the timid mare, stood on his back legs, and began squeaking wildly while making frantic gestures. Much to Jorge’s amazement, Fluttershy actually seemed to understand what the mouse was saying.
“Oh no!” squeaked Fluttershy. “Tell them I’ll be right there.” She turned to face the human with a worried look. “I’m sorry, Jorge. But I have to go. Some of the critters down by the pond need my help.” The mare rushed upstairs and quickly returned with a saddlebag strapped to her haunches.
“I didn’t know you were a vet.”
“I’m not,” giggled Fluttershy bashfully. “I just like taking care of animals.”
Jorge snorted as he eyed the many dozen bird houses that lined the walls. I can see that.
“I’ll be back in a little bit,” assured Fluttershy as she hurried out the door. “Just make yourself comfortable, and try not to sit on Angel’s side of the couch.” And with that the pegasus followed the hurried field mouse out of her home, leaving Jorge on his own.
“Who’s Angel?” Jorge’s question was immediately answered when he felt his face get smacked by a flying carrot. The Spartan looked down to the source of the surface-to-air vegetable and saw a tiny, white bunny rabbit. The rabbit was tapping his foot impatiently, and to Jorge’s amazement looked like he was glaring at him. “Uh…yes?” asked Jorge, feeling unbelievably silly for talking to a rabbit.
Amazingly, the rabbit understood what he was saying. The rodent began waving his paws frantically, motioning his finger over his head in a circular motion as if gesturing a halo, and then flapping his arms frantically.
Jorge caught on immediately. “So you’re ‘Angel’?” The rabbit nodded and continued to glare at the human. Angel pointed to the couch, then to the human, then to the floor, before crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. “Am I sitting on your spot?” The rabbit nodded again. “Sorry,” muttered the human. “Here…” Jorge moved over, leaving space for the bunny. He didn’t know what else to do; his mind was still reeling from how surreal the situation was.
This unfortunately did not placate the rabbit. He shook his head furiously, and point at Jorge and the floor again. “You want me to get off the couch?” asked Jorge incredulously. Another nod. “That seems unreasonable. Look, I’m only taking up half the couch. There’s plenty of space here for you.” Angel shook his head before repeating his gestures. “I’m not getting off,” stated Jorge matter-of-factly. He could have sworn that Angel growled. Fury burned in the little rabbit’s dark eyes. Angel pointed to Jorge again, this time more forcefully, before pointing back to the floor with a look that said ‘this is your last chance.’ Jorge shook his head.
Angel pulled another carrot seemingly out of nowhere and chucked it at Jorge. The movement was so sudden that the human couldn’t react before being hit in the head by the vegetable with surprising force. The soldier grunted in surprise, before scowling at the rabbit. “Look,” he growled. “I’ve tried to be civil about this, but you’ve insisted on being an unreasonable pest. I. Am. Not. Moving. So you can either come to terms with that and sit on the free side of the bloody couch, or you can screw off.”
Angel narrowed his eyes, and the two stared daggers at each other. Lightning seemed to shoot between the behemoth and the tiny rabbit as they each tried to smolder the other with their glares. Suddenly, Angel used his powerful legs to hop towards Jorge. While in mid-air, the rabbit kicked Jorge’s tea cup out of his hands, sending the scalding liquid into the human’s face.
“SON OF A BITCH!!!” roared the Spartan as he reared back clutching his face. The tea burned his exposed skin, and he was temporarily blinded as he stumbled clumsily over the couch, knocking it over. “Mother-fucking rat!” Jorge rubbed his burnt face clear of tea, which had turned red from the heat of the drink. The soldier’s face was contorted with pure rage. He snorted furiously, sending some stray drops of the drink flying off his moustache and onto the floor.
“Where are you, you little shit?” he growled as his eyes roamed the room for the rabbit. Angel had scurried away shortly after burning Jorge. Another carrot hit him across the cheek, answering his question. The Spartan whipped around and saw Angel standing on the staircase, clutching another carrot in its paw. Jorge lunged at the rabbit, but Angel was too agile and hopped between his legs, avoiding the behemoth’s grasp. Jorge turned around to try and catch the bunny, but lost sight of him again.
Angel scurried along the floor of the cottage, weaving in between furniture and the giant’s massive legs. The clever rabbit climbed up one of the wooden ladders put in place for the mice, and hopped onto a lamp which hung directly over the floor from the ceiling. The lamp swung preciously over Jorge, who was still trying to find Angel. The bunny looked down at the human with contempt, before loosening one of the screws that held the lamp in place.
The lamp fell through the air, carrying Angel with it and hitting Jorge square in the back of the head. The Spartan howled in pain, the lamp having hit him straight on the wound he had gotten at Sugarcube Corner. The cut was reopened, and blood poured feely down the back of his neck.
“Bloody hell,” growled Jorge as he dabbed his fingers on the wound, only to find them sticky with blood. “That’s it.” He grabbed the hilt of his combat knife and slipped it out menacingly. Angel, who was watching from one of the bookshelves, gulped and folded his ears back in sudden fear at the sight of the enormous knife.
“I’m going to skin you alive, you little, white vermin.”
“I told you before, Mr. Manticore. If you’re ever hungry, then ask me for some more food. Now apologize to Chickpea."
Fluttershy was in a meadow near the Everfree forest. She was standing in front of an enormous manticore and a very upset rooster. The pegasus had been called because the manticore had wandered out of the forest looking for a snack, and had attacked one of her chickens. The manticore turned to the rooster bashfully, and gave a very meek growl. The rooster chirped furiously in response.
“Now don’t be like that, Chickpea. He said he was sorry. Accept his apology.” The rooster turned his beak up furiously and refused to acknowledge the giant feline. Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at the rebellious bird, which gulped nervously. Having been subjected to the dreaded ‘Stare’ on more than one occasion, the rooster ultimately decided to comply and accepted the manticore’s apology.
Fluttershy smiled in satisfaction, before sending the two on their way. The yellow mare made her way back to the cottage, rehearsing her apology to Jorge for having to abandoned the human so abruptly (so far, it was only ten minutes long). As she crossed the bridge to her home however, she heard a loud crash come from inside.
“Oh my,” gasped the pegasus. More crashes, and the sound of china breaking emanated from her cottage. Despite her fear, Fluttershy rushed to open to the front door. What she saw left her speechless.
Her cottage was a mess; furniture was overturned, and the floor was littered with shards of broken vases and plates. Jorge was standing in the middle of the chaos, the back of his head caked with blood, and a furious expression on his face. He clutched Angel in his massive hand, and held his combat knife up to the rabbit’s neck. Angel, to his credit, seemed as resilient as ever whilst he clutched a carrot in his one free paw and threatened to throw it at the soldier’s face.
The two heard the door open, and turned simultaneously to see a wide eyed Fluttershy staring at them in shock. “Uh…w-w-what’s going on?” she asked with a slight quiver in her voice. Jorge froze. He had absolutely no idea what to say. What can you say when your caught holding a combat knife against the neck of someone’s pet?
The human’s predicament was fortunately solved when the little bunny rabbit in his iron grip began squeaking and gesturing frantically with his one free paw. Fluttershy gave the rodent a curious look. “You were…playing?”
Jorge stared at the pony incredulously. Angel shot him a look that seemed to say ‘just go with it.’ Angel wasn’t stupid, far from it. He knew that if Fluttershy figured out what really happened he would be the one getting ‘The Stare,’ not the human.
Not sure what else to do, the Spartan decided to play along. “Yes,” deadpanned Jorge, unable to muster the enthusiasm to follow through with such a ridiculous explanation. “We were just playing. Right, Angel?” The bunny nodded.
Fluttershy looked back and forth between the two in bewilderment. She clearly was not convinced. “Then…w-why i-is Jorge holding h-h-his knife?” The pegasus eyed the weapon with appreciation. Angel squeaked again and continued gesticulating. After a few minutes of this, Fluttershy smiled warmly and beamed at the pair. “Oh that’s…nice,” she whispered.
Jorge shot the bunny a baffled look. How the hell did he talk his way out of that? Come to think of it, how the hell does she understand him?
“I’ll be right back,” announced Fluttershy. “I’m just going to leave these things upstairs.” The mare climbed up the stairs, leaving the rabbit and the human on their own. Jorge returned to glaring at the bunny in his grip.
“Truce?” offered the human diplomatically. In response, Angel threw his carrot at the human’s face. “Thought as much,” growled Jorge. He made his way to the front door and outside the cottage with the rabbit still in his hand. Once they were standing out of the house, Jorge brought Angel up to his face. “Now, I’m going to be nice and not skin you alive to make a pair of slippers…yet. But you really need a time out.” Angel stuck his tongue out at the human, and made a rude gesture with his one free hand. “Yeah, laugh it up, rodent.”
Jorge dropped the bunny and lashed out at him with his foot while Angel was in midair, effectively punting the rabbit and sending him flying forward a few dozen meters. Angel hit the bridge leading to Fluttershy’s cottage (on his face). He peeled himself off the road, and began squeaking frantically at the human. Jorge assumed were some particularly vulgar insults judging from the motions he was making with his paws.
The human snorted in satisfaction before returning inside and closing the door behind him. Fluttershy returned shortly after, free of her saddlebags.
“Oh, where’s Angel?” she asked.
“He went out…mentioned something about getting some fresh air,” muttered the Spartan. He heard a *crunch* from under him, and lifted his foot to find the remains of a plate under it. “Sorry about your house.” Dammit. Applejack’s right, can’t you visit one person in this bloody world without destroying their home?
“It’s no problem,” replied Fluttershy with a smile. “I’m used to it what with all the little critters. I’ll just ask Twilight to use her nifty spell of hers to fix it right up. Oh sorry…um… would you like anything else….sorry I didn’t ask sooner.”
“No thank you, Fluttershy. There’s no need to apologize.” The human sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I think it’d rather just go back to my house. It’s been a hectic day.” Jorge made to grab for his helmet and head back to his clock tower.
Fluttershy gasped in shock. “You’re bleeding!?” The back of Jorge’s head was soaked with blood. Most of it had long since dried into a black crust, but some crimson still oozed out of his head wound.
“I’ll take care of that when I get home.”
“B-b-but it might get infected! Hold on, I’ll get my first-aid kit.”
“Please Fluttershy, it’s alright. I’ll be fine, no need to trouble yourself.”
“No! I’m not letting you leave this house until you let me treat you. Now sit down right now!” ordered the mare sternly. Jorge blinked. He had never heard the pegasus be so forceful before (or so loud come to think of it). The effect was somewhat diminished when Fluttershy wilted. “If it’s alright with you,” she whispered.
Jorge raised his palms in a defensive gesture. Picking up the couch and setting it back on its legs, the Spartan sat down. Fluttershy fluttered over to the human and immediately began examining the back of his head. “There’s a dirty bandage here.”
“I got cut earlier today and Applejack patched it up. Must have reopened when me and Angel were…roughhousing.”
Fluttershy nodded sympathetically. “He can be a bit of a hoof-full sometimes.”
You have no idea.
Fluttershy proceeded to remove the old bandage and clean the wound. Jorge was amazed with how gentle she was. Unlike Applejack, who was a tad rough when she haphazardly slapped on the bandage, Fluttershy took her time. Careful not to hurt the Spartan, her gentle hooves ran along her neck, almost massaging it as she cleaned the dried blood and eliciting a relaxed sigh from the human.
“You’re very good at this,” said the Spartan.
“Thank you. I’ve had a lot of practice with all the little critters who come to me for help. Oh…I-I’m not h-hurting you, am I?”
“No. You’re doing great Fluttershy. Besides, I’m used to pain.”
Fluttershy frowned at that. “Is that where you got your scar?” The mare’s eyes widened. “Oh I-I’m so s-s-sorry! I didn’t m-mean to p-pry, it just s-slipped o-out! P-please d-do-”
“Fluttershy, calm down. I’m not upset,” soothed Jorge gently. “You mean the one on my eye.”
“Um…yes.”
“ It’s…not a nice story,” murmured the soldier as buried memories slowly began to resurface.
“Oh…I’m sorry.” Fluttershy bit her lip anxiously. She felt a morbid curiosity burn in her. “Um…w-why a-a-are you…um…why are you used t-to…uh…”
“Pain?” finished Jorge.
Jorge felt her mane bobbing against his head, making him suspect that she was nodding. The soldier said nothing; he was lost in thought. “I come from a very nasty universe,” he muttered finally. “It’s…hard living there…it’s a scary place.”
“Then why would you want to g-go back?”
A million answers shot through the Soldier’s head: I have to fight. I need to protect my people. It’s my duty. It’s my home.
“I have to.”
The soldier said no more, and a silence fell upon the cottage. After a few minutes of totally stillness, Jorge suddenly felt something furry warp around his neck and something press up against his cheek.
Fluttershy was hugging him.
Jorge was at a loss for words. He stiffened, not sure how to react. He tried wiggling away, but the pegasus just tightened her embrace. Finally, Jorge lifted up his hand, and squeezed one of Fluttershy’s hooves gently. The two stayed life that for what felt like hours, neither of them even daring to breath as Fluttershy tried to pour all her compassion into that simple gesture.
Eventually, Fluttershy reluctantly slid away. Jorge stood up, and felt the back of his head to find that it had been bandaged again. He turned around to face Fluttershy, who was giving him a bitter-sweet smile.
“Thank you, Fluttershy,” said the Spartan quietly.
“Oh, it’s my pleasure.”
The Spartan picked up his helmet and walked out the front door of the cottage. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Jorge. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The soldier paused. He turned around and flashed the pegasus a gentle grin. “Yes, I suppose I will.” Jorge slipped on his helmet and left the cottage behind him. Crossing over the bridge, he wandered through the cluster of trees and headed back to his own house for some much needed rest. Only one thought passed through his head as he marched:
I hope I don’t bump into that bloody rabbit on my way back .
The air was cold. That was the most apt description anyone could give the air of Canterlot: cold. It was understandable given the altitude at which the city rested, but that made it no less uncomfortable, and as Celestia stood on the balcony of her room she found herself wishing that it could be anything but cold. A particularly powerful gust of wind came crashing against the castle, biting the alicorn’s fur, causing her to shiver. Her horn began to ignite in a golden glow, and soon she felt the warmth of the Sun wash across her body.
Being the Goddess of the Sun had its perks.
Celestia sighed wearily, and leaned against the railing of her balcony. She looked down to the city of Canterlot. Once dubbed the city of Goddesses, the urban landscape twinkled as thousands of lights came together to form its own earthbound night sky, mirroring the sea of glittering stars that rested above it. Even in the night the marble architecture seemed to practically glow. Despite the beauty of the city, Celestia always found the nickname a little overdramatic. Obnoxious even, considering it was the city’s residence who dubbed it that way. Celestia sighed again and rested her cheek on her hoof.
“Tired are we, dear sister?”
The white alicorn smiled. “Hello Luna,” she greeted without turning around. Luna cantered up to her older sibling and leaned on the railing next to her.
“Long day I take it?”
“Very much so. How about you?”
“Oh as tired as one can be when one has to travel half-way around the country in less than an hour,” answered Luna with a small hint of irritation in her voice.
Celestia rolled her eyes, and gave her sister a motherly smile. “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a tad?”
“Fine,” huffed the Moon Princess childishly. “But even so, Ponyville is not exactly a stone’s throw away. Thou could have given us more warning next time thou request an audience with us.”
Celestia smirked in amusement at her sister. “Lulu, you’re slipping again.”
Luna paused and blinked before scowling in frustration. “So much for an almost perfect week,” she grumbled.
“There, there,” said Celestia as she wrapped a wing around her sister comfortingly. “You’re doing marvelously. Especially considering you’ve only had a few lessons.”
“Still Tia, it’s a reminder,” sighed the blue alicorn sadly. “A reminder that I’m out of touch. That I’m foreign and alien. It’s nice to be able to scare ponies on Nightmare Night, but on any other day it’s just…frustrating.”
Celestia frowned with concern. “Who says they’re scared of you?”
“Tia, all your guards start quaking like frightened foals when I’m around.”
“That’s not true. Why, I recalled overhearing a few of my guards the other day discussing what a shapely and voluptuous flank you had. They spoke very highly of it.”
Luna blushed furiously and gapped at her sister in shock. “TIA!”
“You’re not the only one who can make others blush, Lulu,” Celestia chuckled lecherously.
Luna gave her sister an annoyed whip of her tail and snorted. “So…all joking aside…are they coming?”
Celestia sighed once more. She suddenly felt very weary, as if her age suddenly crashed down on her. “Yes, they are coming.”
A beat.
“Is she coming?”
“Yes, they are coming, Luna.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Is she coming?”
Another beat.
“Yes.”
Luna hummed pensively. “Our dearest niece and her husband will not be happy. I still do not understand why you are so ready to forgive her.”
“Luna, the peace treaty was signed over a year ago. It’s time we bury the hatchet. Besides, it’s not her I’m worried about…”
Celestia looked up at her sister’s night sky.
“…It’s how they may react to our guest that concerns me .”
“Good morning class! Did you have a good weekend?”
A series of tired groans and half-hearted replies echoed through the classroom. It was Monday: The bane of students everywhere. Not five minutes earlier a bell rang, and a couple dozen fillies and colts all marched in a funeral-like procession through the door of the schoolhouse and into the classroom. Finding their desks, they sat down and waited for Miss Cheerilee to arrive. A certain orange pegasus took this opportunity to contemplate burning down the school and vying for her arson cutie-mark. Alas, such a dream was foolhardy, so all that awaited this filly was a day of elementary level math problems and literature assignments.
Truly, Monday was a cruel and unforgiving mistress.
Yet for some reason, the fact that she could not practice her skills in pyrotechnics did not particularly bother this orange filly that day, as it would have done almost every other Monday.
Why was this?
The reason was that this very Monday, this pegasus was going to hand in her recently completed project along with her friends; a project which contained nothing less than the first interview of an extraterrestrial being in history.
Understandably, the filly was quaking with excitement.
Once the students had all found their seats and the commotion began to die down, Miss Cheerilee walked through the door and greeted her class.
“Good morning, class!” she gushed, practically dripping with joy. It quickly became apparent to the students that Miss Cheerilee was happier than usual; not an easy feat considering her name was essentially ‘cheer.’ “How was your weekend? Did you all rest up?” She was answered with nods and content murmurs. “Good! You’re going to need all the rest you can get. This week we’re starting fractions!”
As if on cue, the children all groaned simultaneously.
“Oh I know,” nodded the teacher sympathetically. “But don’t worry, I promise that it’s easier than you think. Now before we get started, why don’t you come up here and leave your homework on my desk.”
Scootaloo practically leapt from her chair, earning a few puzzled glances from her classmates, and scrambled up to Miss Cheerilee’s desk as fast as she could. The purple mare looked at the orange filly with a bemused expression, but Scootaloo didn’t notice. Carefully placing her interview on the desk, the filly’s wings buzzed excitedly as she sat back down. She looked around the room and gave Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom an encouraging smile, which they returned. Turning around, Scootaloo gave Featherweight a similar self-assured smirk. The white pegasus nodded meekly and grinned. Scootaloo could see that a blush was quickly spreading across his cheeks.
He’s cute when he blushes, she thought absentmindedly. When she realized what she just thought, her own face heated up and she tried desperately to avoid eye contact with the petit colt. As she bit her lip in embarrassment, Scootaloo could have sworn that she heard muffled snickers coming from where Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were sitting.
The rest of the day went on like any other Monday. Miss Cheerilee stood at the front of the class for a few minutes trying to explain the concept of fractions, before handing out some practice questions and walking around the class trying to help where she could. Eventually she sat at her desk and began going over the homework while the children worked on their problems.
Scootaloo couldn’t help but feel like it was all a little anticlimactic.
She continued glancing over to the purple school teacher, trying to discern any sort of emotion from her. Apart from the occasional frown or quirked eyebrow however, Miss Cheerilee kept her neutral expression. The orange pegasus couldn’t help but think that Miss Cheerilee would probably make a fantastic poker player. Not that the filly actually knew what poker was exactly, but she was correct nonetheless.
Eventually Scootaloo resigned herself to focus on her schoolwork, and to try and forget about the interview with Jorge. This, of course, resulted in the filly becoming lost in her day dreams, as she invariably became almost every school day.
A sharp, piercing ringing snapped Scootaloo out of her musings.
“Alright class, time for recess,” announced Miss Cheerilee. The relief in the air as the children scrambled for the door was almost palpable, and Scootaloo hopped off her desk and cantered towards the playground with gusto.
“Wait just a moment, Scootaloo,” ordered the teacher. “Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Featherweight, please stay as well.” Scootaloo looked around at her fellow Crusaders and Featherweight in confusion. She could see that they were just as vexed as she was. “I was just correcting your interview assignments.”
Scootaloo’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t stop the self-assured smirk that quickly spread across her face.
However, when Miss Cheerilee looked up from the sheet of paper she was reading, rather than wearing an impressed, almost reverent expression, she looked at them with stern eyes. “I see you all did the assignment together.”
Scootaloo’s smile quickly faded.
“Is…is that a problem, Miss Cheerilee?” asked Sweetie Belle meekly.
“Oh no no no!” assured the teacher hastily. “Quite the contrary, I’m thrilled that you decided to work together. I only wish you had done the actual assignment.”
The children shared a confused look. “Uh…what do you mean, Miss?”
“What I mean, Featherweight, is that this was not supposed to be a creative writing assignment. As imaginative and well written as your paper was, you were actually supposed to interview someone. That is the whole purpose of primary sources of information.”
“But…we did interview someone,” explained Apple Bloom. “We interviewed Jorge. It’s right there on the paper.”
Cheerilee’s eyes narrowed. “Young lady, do you really expect me to believe that you actually interviewed that human?”
“But we did!”
“It’s true,” assured Scootaloo.
“Enough,” ordered Miss Cheerilee firmly. “I’m sorry, but I have been extremely lenient with you two lately, especially you, Scootaloo.” The pegasus shrunk a bit at the teacher’s disappointed stare. “I have no choice but to give you an ‘F’ for the assignment and I will be speaking with your parents about this tomorrow.”
“But-”
“No ‘buts.’” Cheerilee’s eyes softened slightly as she gazed down at the crushed expressions on her students’ faces. “I’m sorry for sounding so harsh, kids. But I don’t have a choice. I can’t give you a passing grade if you just make up the assignment. Now go outside and enjoy your recess.”
Featherweight and the Cutie-Mark Crusaders marched out of the schoolhouse with their heads hanging low.
“Maybe you could start thinking of things to bring for show and tell tomorrow?” Cheerilee added lamely in an attempt to boost their spirits; unsurprisingly, it didn’t help.
“I can’t believe Miss Cheerilee thinks we made up that interview,” muttered Apple Bloom as she and her companions walked through the crowded playground.
“That’s so unfair!” whined Sweetie Belle. “We…he…she…ugh, that’s so unfair!”
“Well said Sweetie,” deadpanned Apple Bloom, earning an un-amused glance from the unicorn. The group stopped and sat down at an empty corner of the playground, content to wallow in their own self-pity away from everypony else.
“Stupid Miss Cheerilee…” grumbled Scootaloo.
“I-I’m sure she means well,” offered Featherweight lamely.
“She’s a stupid featherbrain!” screeched the orange filly in frustration, causing her friends to gasp in shock.
“Scootaloo, don’t say that!” admonished Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo winced when she realized what she had just shouted, and hung her head. “Sorry, Apple Bloom. It’s just so…unfair.”
“I know, right!?” cried out Sweetie indignantly.
“Hey there, losers!”
The Cutie-Mark Crusaders and Featherweight turned around to see a pair of fillies behind them. One was light pink, and had a purple mane; while the other was grey with silver hair. The former wore a silver tiara. While in most other circles this, at best, would have been construed as odd or even a tad obnoxious, on the school playground it was enough to make most ponies cringe.
Ugh, we do not need this right now, thought Scootaloo with a soft groan.
“What do you want, Diamond Tiara?” spat Apple Bloom. “We’re really not in the mood fer this.”
“Ugh, why would we want something from a bunch of blank-flanks like you?”
“Great, so then you kin leave.”
“Actually, we’re just here to apologize,” said Silver Spoon innocently.
The yellow earth pony stared at them with suspicion. “Really?”
“It’s true,” answered Diamond Tiara, her voice becoming surprisingly gentle. “We heard what happened inside just now…with Miss Cheerilee. We just wanted to say that we’re sorry for what happened.”
The Crusaders and Featherweight all glanced at each other in disbelief. ‘Is this really happening?’ their eyes seemed to ask.
“Really?” repeated Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s bad enough that you’re blank-flanked, but now you’re making up imaginary friends because you’re too stupid to interview anypony? That’s just sad,” said Silver Spoon with a shake of her head.
“Hey!”
“We can’t really blame you for that though,” said Diamond Tiara diplomatically. “I mean, who would actually want to be near a group of blank-flanks anyways, let alone get interviewed by them?”
“I-I’m n-not a blank-flank,” pointed out Featherweight meekly.
Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyes and snorted when she heard Featherweight. “Well you might as well be. What kind of Cutie-Mark is a feather?” she cackled cruelly. “Honestly, I’d even rather be blank-flanked than have something so stupid for a cutie-mark.” Featherweight shrunk under the pink filly’s jeers. “I mean, a feather? Heck, I bet it’s not even real. I bet you just plucked one from those stubby little wings of yours, and glued it to your flank. Come on, there’s no way somepony could be lame enough to-”
The loathsome little filly was cut off when an orange blur lunged at her with enough force to knock her down. Everypony froze as the gawked at the pink pony.
“SHUT UP, DIAMOND TIARA!” snarled the pegasus as she pinned Diamond Tiara. “Don’t you dare talk about Featherweight like that again!” The restrained filly trembled under Scootaloo’s hooves, her eyes wide and fearful, and her snout bleeding slightly from the force of Scootaloo’s tackle. “If you ever make fun of his cutie-mark every again, I’ll make sure the next thing you pluck out of your nose next time you’re picking it is your tiara!”
Scootaloo slowly got off the Diamond Tiara, who shakily picked herself off the ground. Her once pristine coat was now matted with dirt, and her tiara rested askew on her tangled mane.
“Come on Diamond, let’s get out of here! These blank flanks are crazy!” cried Silver Spoon as she dragged her shocked friend away. “We’re telling Miss Cheerilee!”
“Jerks,” snorted Scootaloo as she watched her aggravators scurry away. She turned around to the greeting of wide eyes and unhinged jaws. “What?”
“W-wow Scootaloo… Ah’ve never seen you that mad.”
“Did you really have to do that?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“They were being jerks!” cried out Scootaloo indignantly.
“They’ve always been jerks, but you never tackled them before. Why’d you get so darned upset this time?”
The pegasus’ eyes wandered over to Featherweight, who looked back at her with a dreamy look on his face, and a single thought running through his noggin: She’s cute when she’s mad. Scootaloo quickly averted her gaze as her face began to heat up. “Oh…you know…reasons…”
Apple Bloom noticed the exchange, and rolled her eye with a scoff. “Well now you’re gonna get in trouble! Miss Cheerilee’s already mad at us.”
“I’m sorry, okay! It’s just that what they said really got to me. Plus it’s not like I was in a good mood considering she thinks we made the whole interview the Jorge up.”
Apple Bloom’s body sagged along with her bow; her hoof idly scuffling the floor. “Oh…right…ah forgot ‘bout that.” Following the aspiring apple farmer’s example, the others all plopped their rears on the ground and began taking a great interest in the ground with tired eyes.
“What do we do now?” asked Sweetie Belle helplessly.
“Maybe we could try talking to Miss Cheerilee again?” offered Featherweight. The others shook their head disconsolately. “Then what do we do?”
“Ah don’t know,” sighed Apple Bloom. “Ah’m too depressed tah do anythang now.”
She’s right, thought Scootaloo dejectedly. While tackling Diamond Tiara had given her a fleeting feeling of triumph, it didn’t make up the greater disappointment bestowed upon them by their teacher. Maybe we should just listen to Miss Cheerilee and try coming up with something to bring to show and tell. It’s not like I need to get into any more troub-
The idea which then rammed itself into Scootaloo’s mind did so with the force and subtlety of a freight train. Had the pegasus’ eyelids widened any further, they would have run the risk of tearing and allowing her eyeballs to pop out of her sockets. The two other Crusaders and Featherweight gleaned that something was amiss with their companion when her lips spread into a euphoric grin.
“Uh…Scoots…why are you smilin’ like that?”
“Cuz I think I just figured out a way to fix everything.”
“No.”
“Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaase!”
“No.”
“Come ooooon!”
“No.”
“Just…I…Just…come oooooon!”
“No.”
“Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!”
“If I said ‘no’ the first eighty times, literally eighty times, then what makes you think I’m ever going to say anything different?”
“Because we’re annnnooooooyiiiiing!”
“Girls, leave him alone!”
“But we need his heeeeeelp.”
After Scootaloo had explained her plan to the rest of the group, the CMC and Featherweight spent the rest of their recess praising the filly for her genius. The bell rang soon afterward, and the children hastily made their way back into the schoolhouse, where Miss Cheerilee was waiting for them, particularly Scootaloo. The orange pegasus received a scolding the likes of which were rarely seen in Ponyville’s schoolhouse. Diamond Tiara would have looked upon the punished filly smugly had she not been too busy being terrified by Miss Cheerilee along with everypony else to do so. No one had ever seen the normally sweet-as-honey schoolteacher so enraged, but they were sure not to forget it.
After receiving a verbal lashing and assurances that her parents would be duly notified of her behavior, the rest of the day had passed fairly normally for the junior speedster; except, of course, for having to stay after class to write, ‘I will not hurt other ponies,’ a hundred times on the board. Once she was done with her tedious task, she quickly met up with her fellow Crusaders and Featherweight, and they went to face their destiny!
Annoyingly enough, their destiny was being rather evasive. After hours of searching they found it at Sweet Apple Acres.
“Where do you want these, Applejack?” asked Jorge, airily gesturing to the two dozen two-by-fours he hefted on his shoulders.
“Just over there by the foundation. Thanks again fer helpin’ with this here barn by the way.”
The Spartan shrugged. “It’s no problem. Hell, it gets me out of that house.”
“It’s just… ya’know… after what ah said the other day…”
Applejack was cut off as Jorge waved his hand dismissively. “We went over this, Applejack. It’s water under the bridge. I was being a bit of an arse myself.”
“Yeah well…thanks anyways.”
Jorge had arrived to Sweet Apple Acres early that morning. Sleep had eluded him the night before as images of fire and blood once again plagued his dreams, and he found that pacing around the house only brought his mind back to his burning universe. Even the dozens of books that the Princess had provided held no sanctuary from the nightmares. Needing to keep his mind occupied, he decided to head back to Sweet Apple Acres to see if Applejack still needed help with the barn. Despite their recent reconciliation, the mare was at first wary of having the Spartan work for her. But Jorge had insisted, both as atonement and as a way to keep himself entertained. He quickly found that the manual labor was more than enough of a distraction.
Now he was making his way to a rusty old toolbox while Applejack looked over her blueprints for the new barn. The Cutie-Mark Crusaders meanwhile continued trailing after the Spartan wherever he went, as they had since they arrived at the farm half an hour before.
“Pleeeeeeaaaaase!” whined Sweetie Belle once again. She was a master at annoying people into getting what she wanted when she so chose; it was a trait that ran in the family, perfected by her elder sister when she was but a wee filly growing up in Trottingham. But unbeknownst to the unicorn, Jorge had spent the last few years of his service in the presence of a fellow Spartan called Emile, and thus was well trained in ignoring nuisances; even Rarity would have found it a challenge to whine Jorge into submission.
Jorge sighed and stopped dead in his tracks, causing the CMC to bump into his leg.
Heh, az sose öregedik meg, thought the soldier as his shields glowed. “Look girls,” he began as he knelt. “I already explained why this was a bad idea. The townsfolk have just started getting used to me, and barely at that. The last thing I need is them thinking I’m putting their children at risk.”
“We swear nothin’ bad’ll happen,” assured Apple Bloom vehemently. “And ah’m sure they’ll love you. We did!”
“That was different.”
“How’dya figure?”
“Because you came looking for me.”
“Please, Jorge,” begged Scootaloo. “We need you! Without your help we’re going to…” she glanced nervously towards Applejack. “We’re going to fail that project,” she said in a harsh whisper. “Miss Cheerilee doesn’t believe that we actually interviewed you. She thinks we made the whole thing up!”
“Can’t really say I blame her,” muttered the Spartan.
“Please Jorge, we’re beggin’ here!”
“Maybe…maybe this’ll be a chance to get ponies used to you?” offered Sweetie. “We don’t know what else to do, we need your help.” She and the other two Crusaders proceeded to assault the human with the CMC special in a last ditch effort to get him to concede. They even added twenty percent more bottom-lip-trembling, just to be safe.
Jorge looked down at the begging fillies. Their lips were quivering like they were about to cry, and they occasionally let out a soft squeak akin to that of a wounded puppy. As he was subjected to the horror that was the CMC special, Jorge could feel his chest begin to hollow. He noticed that the more time he spent with the three fillies, the more affected he was by their puppy-dog eyes.
Jorge sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “What do you think, Featherweight?” he asked as he faced the scrawny colt, who had thus far stayed out of the conversation.
Featherweight jumped slightly at suddenly having his name called, and rubbed his leg awkwardly. “Well…yeah…we kind of do need your help. But if you can’t…or…you know…don’t think it’s a good idea, you don’t have to.”
Jorge stayed silent for a few minutes, staring blankly at the ground. Finally stood up and cracked his neck, causing the ponies to flinch.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
The Cutie-Mark Crusaders let out a whooping cheer; even Featherweight could help but sigh in relief.
“But you have to promise me that you’ll tell your teacher about this and get the okay from her beforehand,” he ordered sternly. “Understood?”
“Yeah sure whatever, just make sure to meet us tomorrow at the square,” replied Scootaloo flippantly. “Come on guys; let’s go get everything set up!”
“Scootaloo.”
“What?”
“Promise. Me.”
The filly rolled her eyes. “I promise that we’ll tell Miss Cheerilee you’re coming.”
“Good, now you can leave.”
Jorge didn’t need to tell them twice. The tiny ponies scurried back down the road as fast as they could, their cheering fading in the distance as they excitedly began brainstorming ideas for tomorrow. Jorge looked as they galloped away with fond eyes before standing up and walking over to Applejack.
“I agreed to help them.”
The cowpony looked up from her blueprints with a raised eyebrow. “You what now?”
“I agreed to help them,” repeated Jorge.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“No.”
Applejack shook her head. “Maybe you shouldn’t go,” she said, in a tone that basically said, ‘don’t go.’
“I know, but I already committed myself. Besides, they did make a good point; the more time I spend in town the more you ponies’ll get used to me, and god knows I could always use a little of that. They won’t be able to deal with the fact that I’m living here if I stay on your farm all day.”
“But this ain’t like yesterday, Jorge,” insisted Applejack. “This is a schoolhouse, filled with children.”
“If I recall correctly, of the few ponies who weren’t scared stiff-less of me, most of them were kids.”
“That…that ain’t what ah meant-”
“I know what you mean, Applejack,” interrupted Jorge. “You don’t think I know? Every single building I walked into yesterday ended up damaged in some way, and with someone, mostly me, injured.”
“Exactly,” said the cowpony pointedly. “Are you still sure this is a good idea?”
“I’m a big boy,” answered Jorge wryly. “I’m not bringing any of my toys this time, and I presume that unicorns at Sweetie’s age can control their magic?” The mare nodded. “Good, then- wait, are there any rabbits there?”
“Uh…no?” answered Applejack slowly, while giving Jorge a puzzled look.
“Jo. Csak ellenőrzöm,” muttered the human. “Alright then, what’s next?”
Applejack’s gaze lingered on the human, before she sighed and gave him a small smile. She gestured towards the rusty toolbox. “Now we start makin’ the supports.”
Jorge stood in the center of town, as agreed upon the day before. Leaning casually on a wall, the Spartan observed the square from under his helmet. It was early Tuesday morning, and unlike on Sunday there was no market to crowd the plaza. Still, there was a healthy dose of foot traffic from ponies heading off to work or school.
As usual, they were sure to keep a large swath of pavement empty between themselves and Jorge.
Yet just like the day before, there were a few ponies who actually neared him. Granted, most of them were shaky as all hell and looked like they were doing it as a sort of ‘I-survived-the-giant-monster-and-lived’ challenge, but considering how they behaved when he first arrived, Jorge decided to chalk it up as a victory.
It wasn’t long before a distant buzzing sound tickled his ears. He turned towards one of the entrances to the square to see a large cloud of dust heading directly at him. Tensing his muscles, he quickly relaxed them when he saw that it was Scootaloo…
…before doing a double-take when he saw it was Scootaloo.
The purple-maned pony was riding atop scooter whilst pulling a red wagon, the kind Jorge used to see in videos about the mid-twentieth century, and was wearing a purple helmet. Using her tiny wings, Scootaloo was literally flapping them fast enough to propel her on her scooter.
The pony came to a screeching halt in front of the human, mere inches from his leg. The dust cloud that had formed behind her now swept in with a vengeance, and Jorge could hear Scootaloo cough and hack as it settled. When she was once again able to breathe properly, she greeted him with a beaming smile.
“Hi Jorge! Are ya ready to go?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” grumbled the soldier.
“Great. Apple Bloom and Sweetie are waiting for as at the schoolhouse. Just hop on and we’ll head there,” she said nodding to her wagon.
There are many words and phrases in the English language that can express disbelief. Honestly, it is quite a versatile language, which can be attributed to why it is so easily spread culturally. That being said, judging from the age of the filly in front of him, Jorge concluded that it would be best not to express his disbelief with the phrase, ‘are you serious?’ (although he was quite tempted to). Instead, the Spartan decided to give her a second to figure it out on her own…
…and another second…
…and another…
Honestly, it was taking far more seconds than the pony should have felt comfortable admitting. Just to speed things up, Jorge decided to cough politely. Scootaloo looked at him in confusion, then back to the wagon. The Spartan noticed that a furiously embarrassed blush scorched her cheeks.
“Uh…”
“Maybe we should walk?” offered Jorge.
“Sure.”
The two quickly made their way out of the plaza and towards the schoolhouse. Despite his long strides, Scootaloo had no trouble keeping up with Jorge. In fact, he actually had to pick up the pace to keep up with the filly, who was having trouble keeping from speeding off as fast as she could. Her wings were buzzing so rapidly that they were simply a blur, and she resembled a hummingbird more than anything else.
Before long a burgundy structure began poking over the horizon.
“Where are they,” groaned Apple Bloom anxiously. “The bell rang five minutes ago! We’re gonna get in trouble.”
“I don’t know,” whined Sweetie as she fidgeted nervously.
“Look, there they are!” cried Featherweight, pointing down the road.
Jorge and Scootaloo walked up to the young ponies waiting outside the classroom, and exchanged quick greetings.
“Thanks fer helpin’ us out again, Jorge,” said Apple Bloom earnestly. The Spartan said nothing, instead opting to give the filly a curt nod. He still had his misgivings about this. “Alright, you just wait out here all calm-like, and we’ll call you when it’s our turn, ‘kay?”
“Let’s just try to finish this quickly.”
Nodding in agreement, the four kids entered the schoolhouse, leaving Jorge on his own outside, and found their seats. Miss Cheerilee gave them a stern look for their tardiness, but decided to just drop it for the sake of time constraints.
“Good morning class,” she greeted in her usual bubbly tone.
“Good morning, Miss Cheerilee,” droned the class in their usual monotone.
“Aw I thought you would me more excited than that,” teased the teacher. “Today’s show and tell after all.”
Murmurs of excitement quickly filled the classroom. As cliché as it may have sounded, show and tell was actually a favorite amongst the children of Ponyville; partly because it provided a break from the usual tedium of education, and partly because there was always somepony who brought something interesting to show.
“Alrighty then, who would like to go first?”
Scootaloo immediately shot her hoof in the air, but was beaten to the punch by a stubby grey leg that rose in front of her.
“Okay then, Snips. Come on up.”
Scootaloo moaned in annoyance. No big deal, I’ll just go next. I should try that ‘being patient’ malarkey that Miss Cheerilee keeps talking about. Yeah, that’s it, just need to be patient.
While she was distracted by her musings, the pudgy grey colt hopped up from her desk and meandered to the front of the class. Looking upon the curious students, Snips cleared his throat and covered his face with his hoof in a mysterious fashion.
“Gather round, all of you who… uh… dare gather!” he bellowed in a deepened voice. “I, the great and powerful Snips, brought the most mysterious, most coolest of artif- artufu- things!” Everypony in the class sat up with interest. Even Miss Cheerilee caught herself leaning forward with curiosity.
“…yes, it’s the most spectacular…”
Everypony leaned forward in excitement.
“…the most amazing…”
Their eyes widened slightly.
“…the most fantabulous thing ever brought!”
The suspense in the room was palpable. Everyone in the room was dying to see what Snips had brought. The colt reached into his saddlebag.
“I bring to you…”
There was a sharp, collective gasp.
“…my pet rock, Sheldon!”
And suddenly all the air was sucked out of the room, creating a vacuum of equal parts silence and disbelief. Then the room was enveloped in a massive groan. Yet none groaned more than Scootaloo, whose face smacked against her desk in frustration
I wonder what Jorge’s doing…
Jorge sat on the grass right outside the schoolhouse, his burly frame leaning against one of the walls of the building. As he rested his legs, he could do little more than stare at the picturesque landscape that hosted the town. While quite a view, sightseeing quickly grew dull. He was tempted to browse his music and play a song; he hadn’t listened to any music in a while, but decided against it. He had to wait for the signal from the Cutie-Mark Crusaders.
Perhaps a week ago… a lifetime ago… he would have started contemplating the events in his life which brought him to where he was then, but what insight could he glean from doing so?
Instead, he took a deep breath, and waited patiently.
“The end!”
“Huzzahwha-!” Cheerilee was snapped out of her deep slumber by Snail’s finale. Wiping a line of drool that ran down her cheek, she saw that her class was slowly rousing from their own sleep. “Well, Snips,” she yawned, forcing a smile to desperately not appear as though she had been put to sleep but the colt’s presentation. “That was…uh…interesting. And it only took…” she looked up at the clock that hung over the blackboard, and deflated slightly. “…twenty minutes. You can return back to your seat. He would like to go next?”
Scootaloo, who had been lazily trying to pry her eyes open, snapped up and shot her hoof in the air once more…
…only to lag a few milliseconds behind Snails.
“All right then Snails, come on up.”
Oh come on! screeched the orange pegasus mentally.
The lanky, brownish-green colt grinned and stood up in front of his class. “Golly, ain’t this a coincidence?” he said with a simple, goofy look in his eyes. “I brought my pet rock to show and tell too!”
“No way!” cried out his friend in sincere astonishment.
The rest of the class was not so enthusiastic…
Jorge looked back towards the door to the class room in confusion. He had just heard a loud noise shake the wall he leaned on, as if dozens of voice from inside groaned their frustration at once. Eyeing the building for a few more seconds, he checked his motion scanners and shrugged, before returning to his thoughts.
Mi tartja őket ennyi idöre?
“Thank you Snails, you can return to your seat. And look, you also took twenty minutes,” said the purple teacher wearily through gritted teeth. “Who would like to go ne-”
Before the educator could finish speaking, Scootaloo leapt atop her desk and began bouncing up and down with her hoof extended. “Me! Please pick me!” With her last hop, she landed on the edge of her desk, causing the whole thing to flip forward and force her face to smack the floor.
“Ow,” she grumbled as she rubbed her snout. Now I know how Spike feels. She looked up to see her teacher giving her an amused expression.
“So…I take it you want to go next,” she deadpanned.
Scootaloo smiled sheepishly and nodded vigorously. Nodding to her friends, she stood up and made her way to the front of her class followed by Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Featherweight. Cheerilee gave looked at the four of them in bewilderment.
“Uh…what are you three doing?”
“We decided to do show and tell together!” chipped Sweetie Belle happily.
Miss Cheerilee looked uncertain. “Okay…I suppose that’s acceptable.” Taking a seat at her desk, she gestured for them to go ahead.
Scootaloo cleared her throat. “Prepare yourselves!” she began in a deep tone which she tried to lace with as much mysticism as possible. “For the most amazing, spectacular…er…”
Much to her disappointment, instead of holding the class captivated with her wonder, they stared at her with bored, jaded expressions. Darn it, Snips! she cursed mentally as she slackened somewhat. Still, she decided to press on with her presentation…
“uh…stupendous…er…amazing…”
…albeit much less enthusiastically.
“…thing you’ll ever see! Fillies and gentlecolts, I present to you, a human!” The room gasped as Scootaloo waved her hoof towards the front door. All eyes were glued anxiously to the door as the class steeled themselves for what was supposed to follow.
A second passed.
Then another.
Then a couple more; by this time the students were looking at each other in puzzlement.
“I said, ‘a human!’” repeated Scootaloo, a little anxiety slowly creeping in her voice. “A HUMAN! Guys, where is he!?”
“Ah don’t know,” answered Apple Bloom helplessly. She looked just as confused as Scootaloo. Now the group was being subjected to dozens of annoyed stares. Cheerilee sighed and stood up.
“I’ve heard enough, you four obviously didn’t do the assignment…again.” The adult sounded concerned rather than disappointed or upset. “I don’t know what is wrong with you four lately, but this obsession with humans is getting out of hand. Please take a seat; I’ll be speaking to you again during recess.”
The four children made their way back to their desks dejectedly. Out of the corner of her eye, Scootaloo could see Silver Spoon desperately trying to muffle her laughter and Diamond Tiara grinning wickedly. With a miserable sigh, the orange pegasus sat down and rested her head on her desk.
Meanwhile, Cheerilee returned to her own desk. “Now then, would like to-” She was interrupted by a loud knock from the front door. “Who could that be?” She promptly stood up and trotted up towards the entrance, ready to greet whoever was on the other side.
When she threw open the door, t’was not a pony that stood on the other end of the threshold, but Jorge. Cheerilee backpedaled from the metal behemoth in horror, allowing him to duck down through the entrance. He scanned the classroom until his eyes fell on Scootaloo, who had perked up significantly. “Sorry about that, just getting my bearings. So, can we get this over with?”
“MONSTER!!!”
Cheerilee leapt away from Jorge and put herself between him and the students, most of whom were utterly terrified. “Stay b-b-back, I-I won’t let you t-touch them.” Cheerilee’s assertion would have carried more weight had she not squeaked it.
Jorge sighed and looked up at the ceiling in frustration. “Scootaloo, I thought you were going to tell her I was coming?”
“Sweetie Belle!?”
The unicorn rubbed her chin pensively. “Oh...I knew there was something I forgot to do today. That kind of explains why she thought we were lying just now, huh?”
That was the first time Sweetie Belle ever saw three ponies and a human simultaneously face-palm/hoof.
“Right then, in that case I best be going.”
“No wait!” Scootaloo walked up to Miss Cheerilee. “Miss Cheerilee, this is the human we were talking about, he’s our show and tell…thing.” Scootaloo ignored Jorge’s derisive snort and continued. “Can we please please please have him stay and do the presentation?”
“Scootaloo, sit back down and stay behind me!”
“Ugh, he’s not gonna hurt us.” Why do adults always get stupid when Jorge is around? she thought, forgetting her own reaction to when she first met the human. The filly walked past her teacher and began poking Jorge’s leg. “See?”
Cheerilee looked at Scootaloo and Jorge with uncertainty. The human merely shrugged, unfazed by the teacher’s reaction. Really, once you’ve seen one freaked out pony, you’ve kind of seen them all. “I promise not to eat any of your students,” he said sardonically.
“I-I-I…uh…okay.” Cheerilee shakily made her way back to her desk, not taking her eyes off the human the whole way. “G-go ahead…uh…yeah.”
Scootaloo beamed at Cheerilee, which helped sate the schoolteacher’s anxiety somewhat, and motioned for her friends to come and join her, who were more than happy to oblige. The four kids stood in front of the behemoth while the students were glancing and murmuring nervously at each other. In all fairness, it was a much more subdued reacting than their teacher’s, who was trying desperately to keep her heart from bursting forth from her chest.
Scootaloo cleared her throat and waved her hoof dramatically in front of Jorge. “Behold, the mighty human!”
Everypony gasped.
“Psst, Jorge,” hissed Featherweight. “Take off your helmet.”
Despite assurances to Applejack to the contrary, the Spartan was still apprehensive about removing his helmet lest one of few unicorns in the class decided to test the fortitude of their class’ wall. Still, the Spartan complied; if nothing else than to go along with the CMC’s hammy performance, which he had to admit was quite entertaining.
Everypony in the class gasped a second time when Jorge revealed his face. Out of the corner of his eye he was able to make out Miss Cheerilee paling as he slipped off his helmet, before examining him with a look of utter fascination.
“Ta-Da!” announced Scootaloo. An awkward silence permeated across the room, with the occasional cough.
“Scootaloo?” As soon as the Spartan’s deep voice vibrated through the class, dozens of the students (and Miss Cheerilee) winced. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Uh…this is actually as far as I got in the...you know…planning stages,” she chuckled sheepishly, still holding her introductory pose.
“Hey Miss Cheerilee, what should we say ‘bout Jorge fer Show and Tell?”
Cheerilee jumped slightly as if released from a trance, and looked at Apple Bloom like her world was falling apart into a fit of madness (which in all fairness was your average Tuesday afternoon in Ponyville). “Uh…w-why d-don’t you h-have…J-J-J-Jorge tell us a little bit about… uh…him? I-I’m sorry, are you m-male?”
“Last I checked,” answered the Soldier with a shrug.
“That’s a great idea! A’right, Jorge, tell ‘em a little bit ‘bout yerself.”
“Like what?”
“Ah…ah don’t know, somethun’!”
Jorge looked at the children staring at him with eyes the size of platters in front of him. “Hello, my name is Jorge. I-” One of the students, a white earth-pony colt with a brown spot on his face raised his hoof in the air. Despite being smaller than most of the other students, Jorge spotted him easily. “…yes?”
“What does pony flesh taste like?” he asked in a squeaky British-sounding accent.
Everypony stared at the colt in shock.
“Excuse me?” Jorge was absolutely floored by the bluntness of the question.
“Well back in Trottingham there’s this story where humans eat ponies, and I was just wondering what we taste like.”
Jorge blinked, trying to think of a proper response to the colt’s macabre question.
“Human’s don’t eat ponies, stupid,” scoffed a grey pegasus colt with a gelled mane. “Just foals.”
“Nuh-uh, in the story they ripped the shoemaker’s wife to shreds and ate her.” Out of the corner of his eye, Jorge could see Cheerilee pale in horror.
“Well I don’t know what stupid stories they tell over there, but I heard they only eat foals and babies.”
“Thath’s not true, Rumble,” asserted a red-maned filly with a lisp. “Humanths eat grownupths too!”
“Humans don’t eat ponies!” cried out Scootaloo in frustration.
“Of course they do, Scootaloo,” said a pudgy grey colt sporting a fez and blowing bubbles out of a fake pipe. “They just don’t eat grownups.”
The class soon erupted into a massive argument, with one side swearing upon their parent’s graves that humans only preferred the simpler tastes of young ponies, and the other claiming that, like a fine wine, humans were also connoisseurs of a more mature pony flesh. Meanwhile, the CMC were desperately trying to explain the shaved bipeds did not eat pony meat, an opinion which seemed to baffle the other children.
Jorge watched the class as they discussed his preference of foal meat with an amused expression. He noticed Miss Cheerilee gawking at the scene in front of them, and decided to move over to the shocked educator.
“Hello, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” He extended his hand in greeting. “My name is Jorge Zero Five Two. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Cheerilee recoiled away from the Spartan when she noticed his close proximity. She looked down at his hand, then at his neutral expression. “Uh…likewise.” She reluctantly gave him her hoof, allowing him to give it a firm shake.
“I’m surprised, judging from the welcome you gave me I would have assumed you would be less inclined to talk to me.”
Cheerilee gave him a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. It was just…well I mean…wow! It was a little bit of a shock.”
Jorge nodded. “I can imagine.”
“Not only that, I heard so much about you that I didn’t know how you would behave. Most ponies said you were a mindless monster…” Cheerilee noticed that the human’s brow wrinkled and his jaw clenched at his word. “…but some said you were actually…well…normal.”
Jorge snorted at that. “Well in any case, I just wanted to say that the interview Scootaloo and her friends conducted was genuine.”
Cheerilee smiled. “Thank you for telling me. I really hate giving out poor grades. This is a real relief.”
“Also, I don’t mean to encroach on your job or anything, but don’t you think you might want to calm them down just a tad?”
Cheerilee blinked and turned towards her students. Her eyes widened as if she were snapped out of a trance for a second time, and she looked like she was noticing the ruckus for the first time. As quick as lightning, she snatched a meter stick from her desk and snapped it on her desk, sending a loud, rippling *crack* across the class.
The students all instinctively returned to their seats and shut their mouths in the blink of an eye. “Now then, please quiet down and let our guest answer his question,” said Cheerilee in a voice that was sweeter than honey.
Jorge’s eyes found the petit colt that had asked him the question. “I don’t know what pony tastes like. I’ve never tried it.”
“So do humans eat pony or what?”
“No.” Jorge heard Cheerilee let out a relieved breath. “You seem disappointed.”
“Uh course I am,” lamented the colt. “First I meet Nightmare Moon, and she doesn’t eat ponies, and now it turns out humans don’t eat ponies either!? It’s uh bit of uh rip off.”
Before Jorge could think of anything to say to that, the filly with a lisp raised her foreleg.
“Yes?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Anything but purple.”
“Hey!” complained Cheerilee.
“Sorry, but it’s true.” Jorge looked back to the filly. “I’m particularly fond of orange though.” Scootaloo’s wings buzzed with joy, and she beamed up to the soldier. “Don’t get too excited, little one,” he said, pointing to her mane and causing her to deflate slightly.
“Oooh, oooooh, I got a question I got a question I got a question I got a question!” shouted another student.
“Yes?”
“Why are you wearing all that metal?”
“This is my armor.”
“And why are you wearing it?”
“Duh, cuz it protects him, stupid,” snapped another colt.
“That’s one of the reasons,” chuckled Jorge patiently. “Another reason is that it gives me certain…advantages. For example, the armor amplifies my strength by-”
“So then how strong are you, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? HUH!?” screamed the first colt.
Jorge paused and gave the candy cane coated colt a curious look. “What’s your name?”
“Sugar Rush, mister.” As he answered, vibrating slightly.
How appropriate, thought the Spartan. “Well then, Sugar Rush. I hope this answers your question.” Jorge moved over to Cheerilee’s desk and in one quick motion, lifted it from the ground and raised it over his head. This elicited various ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from the students. Jorge quickly lowered the desk again, and thanked Miss Cheerilee, who simply nodded dumbly at him.
He was about to ask the class if they had any final questions, when he was interrupted by a shrill, pompous sounding voice.
“Big deal. So the monkey can pick up a desk, still didn’t get you blank flanks your Cutie-Marks in ‘Freak Tamers.’”
“Diamond Tiara!” yelled Cheerilee.
Jorge looked over to the source of the voice. Two fillies were staring at him with open contempt; one was a pink filly wearing a smug smile, while the other was grey and trying to stifle a snicker.
So you’re the little brats that have a superiority complex. Jorge stared blankly at them for a few more minutes before he started chuckling himself. This quickly quieted the two fillies. “That was actually quite funny,” said Jorge as he approached them. “Quite funny. I could actually use the help of a couple funny ponies.” He kneeled in front of the two, causing them to lean back nervously. “See, all that talk about eating foals got me curious. It got me wondering what ponies actually taste like.” Jorge scratched his beard before giving them a wide, malevolent smirk, making sure to show off his canines. “I think you two would be perfect candidates for a taste test.”
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon both shrieked in horror before falling back out of their chairs, prompting the rest of the class to burst out in laughter. Cheerilee gave Jorge an un-amused expression which seemed to ask, ‘was that really necessary?’ Jorge shrugged before returning to the front of the class.
The small, white colt with the brown spot raised his hoof again. “Are you sure you don’t eat ponies?”
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Pipsqueak!” beamed the pony. “Pleasure tah meet ya mister!”
“Yes, Pipsqueak. I’m sure I don’t eat ponies. I was just joking.”
“Shoot,” muttered Pipsqueak in disappointment.
“Sorry about that. Is there a way I could make it up to you?”
Pipsqueak scratched his head in thought before perking up considerably. “Could you give me a piggyback ride?”
Jorge (and just about everypony in the class for that matter) blinked in confusion. He flashed the colt a grin before bending over and motioning him over. Pipsqueak squealed in excitement. Her scrambled over to the Spartan and began clamoring up his armor. Using the grooves in the human’s suit as grips, the pony slowly but surely braved the mountainous soldier like an explorer making his way up a treacherous cliff side. He soon found himself at Jorge’s face, and, much to the biped’s annoyance, began using his nose and mouth as footholds. Finally, the wide-eyed colt found himself splayed out atop of Jorge’s head.
“Woah! You’re so tall!”
Jorge smiled up to the colt before looking back to the class.
“Any more questions?”
Every hoof in the class shot up.
The rest of the class went fairly quickly. After a few more minutes of Jorge answering questions for the students, Cheerilee informed Scootaloo and her group that their time was up, and that they had to go sit down, much to everypony’s disappointment. Everypony had begged the human to let them have a turn on his shoulders, but the Spartan was forced to refuse lest he be buried alive by dozens of children. Shortly after Pipsqueak climbed down, the purple teacher offered Jorge to wait inside until recess, which he did with a shrug.
Once the bell signaling the beginning of break rang, the fillies and colts of Ponyville’s schoolhouse burst forth from its confines and headed towards the playground. They were each chatting excitedly about the human that had visited them. Only the CMC, Featherweight, Pipsqueak, and Cheerilee remained behind with the human.
“That was awesome, Jorge!” gushed Scootaloo once the class was empty. “They practically ate it up.”
“Glad I could help.”
“I can’t remember the last time Show and Tell was that exciting,” said Cheerilee.
“I do,” said Pipsqueak. “It was when Snips an’ Snails brought their home chemistry set.”
Cheerilee winced at the mention of that particular school day. “Oh…right. Well, in any case, I want to thank you again for coming over and clearing the air with the interview. Next week we’re starting our lessons on international cultures, and we’d love to have you come over and give us a more thorough talk on humans.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“And don’t forget that you promised to give us piggy back rides tomorrow,” said Sweetie Belle sternly.
“I won’t,” chuckled the human. After saying his goodbyes, Jorge left the schoolhouse and walked back to his cottage through town. As he walked through the village, ponies once again opted to avoid getting too close to him. However with him being a regular occurrence in Ponyville at this point, it was getting easier for the town’s residents to ignore him, which was fine by him. Before long he made it back to the oceans of meadows that consisted of Ponyville’s outskirts, and his clock tower soon poked out over the horizon. As he neared his dwellings, Jorge spotted a dark figure pacing in front of the front entrance. At a second glance, he recognized the being as Princess Luna. Ever so quietly, he approached the Princess until he was right behind her, and cleared his throat as loudly as possible.
The Princess jumped and spun around. Her head was lowered, and she had her glowing horn trained directly at the unimpressed Spartan. Once she recognized who it was, her horn’s glow died, and she relaxed her flared wings.
“We are impressed. There are few creatures that dwell within this plain that can sneak upon us. Thou should be proud.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Why are you speaking like that?”
A blush crept up Luna’s neck. “Pay no heed to our speak, mortal! We…tis nothing!”
One of Jorge’s eyebrows quirked upward, but other than that he betrayed no emotion on his chiseled expression. “Fair enough. Now for my follow up question: Why are you here?”
“We…*ahem*…I couldn’t help but admire your work,” she answered, gesturing to the abandoned tents that still littered the area. “Once my sister and I received letters from almost every news source in the country we were forced to declare a full media blackout with everything regarding…well…you.”
“So that’s why I haven’t had a visit from those charming reporters. I’m disheartened. And here I thought I just scared them that well.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” deadpanned Luna. “I take it you aren’t very well acquainted with the journalism industry?”
“Fair enough,” snorted Jorge. “Have they given you any trouble lately?”
“Like you could not believe. We’ve been getting hundreds of letters daily. Most are requests to lift the blackout, but almost just as many are pleas for more information.” The Princess tapped her chin in ponderously. “Come to think of it, a publication named ‘Podium Digest’ has been particularly persistent.” Luna looked him over curiously. “I see you're no longer wearing your helmet,” she pointed out, gesturing to the helmet under Jorge’s arm.
“Decided to try out a new look today,” he answered with a shrug. “Sorry to hear about the letters by the way. Now…” Jorge gave the Princess a scowl. “…why are you really here?” The Spartan all but growled the last sentence. “And where have you been the last couple days?”
Luna sighed wearily. “Preparing.” It was all she said before she craned her neck and looked toward the sun, as if hoping it would give her guidance. After nearly a minute of silence, she turned back to the soldier. “We need you to come to Canterlot. My sister and I have conveyed a meeting and we need you to attend.”
“Why?”
“Because it is a meeting concerning you.”
“Wow, being popular sure is fun,” he rumbled. “And if I refuse?”
Luna shrugged. “Then that is your choice. We certainly can’t force you. We did consider refusing you lodgings if you did, but quickly came to the conclusion that that would cause more problems than it was worth.”
Jorge stayed quiet for a few heart beats, deep in thought.
“What’s this meeting about?” he asked
Luna walked up the human until they were face to face.
“Let us just say, our world has already met you, Jorge. It is time you met our world.”
…While contemporary historians differ on the exact causes behind this shift, it is widely agreed that the Minotaurs began migrating from their nomadic lifestyles to more permanent settlements further southalong the Požar River roughly twenty thousand years ago, around the same time that ponies made their own shift from the Windigo Mountains to Equestria. Some historians believe that, like modern Equines, this Great Migration could be attributed to the harsh famines caused by the Windigo’s blizzards.
However, many scholars and meteorologists argue that the freezing winds and blinding snow could never have reached as far as the plains, and that the Minotaurs’ movements were credited to some other unknown cause. Whatever the case, these permanent settlements, which would be the basis to the modern city states, warred frequently with one another. The conflicts were often fought over control of the Hirashen Highways: trade routes extending from modern Zebriaca to the Badlands,which provided valuable income through high tariffs and—
“Argh,” moaned Jorge, throwing the textbook over his shoulder and rubbing his eyes tiredly. He wasn’t going to lie, he was bored.
Very, very bored.
As much as a part of him was loathed to admit it, yesterday’s activity with the CMC had been… dare he say… fun? So much so that he was hoping to see them again when he went to Sweet Apple Acres to continue working on the barn. But unfortunately, Applejack said they were closing down the farm for a ‘special occasion.’
‘It is time you met our world…’
What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?
Ever since the Princess had left him with those cryptic words, and not knowing what ‘meeting the world’ could entail, Jorge had spent every waking moment at his disposal studying as much about Equestria and the surrounding nations as he could before heading to the capital tomorrow. Needless to say, the results were exhausting.
If I have to read one more page about Zebra economic doctrine, I’m going to blow my bra—
A knock from his front door interrupted his macabre musings. With a sigh, Jorge made his way to the front entrance.
“Hey, Jorge!” greeted Spike when he opened the door.
“Spike,” he greeted plainly. “This is a surprise. Can I help you?”
“Notice anything different?” asked Spike.
Jorge stared at him in confusion he began stretching his arms and making strange poses. “Excuse me?”
“I asked if you notice anything different,” he repeated, standing on his tiptoes and stretching his arms to the sky.
Jorge examined him, trying to figure out what he was on about. Eventually, he noticed the strange cut sapphire hanging by a golden chain around Spike’s neck.
“Uh… you’re wearing a necklace?”
Spike frowned disheartenedly. “No. Well, I mean, yeah. But do you notice anything else?”
Nem.
“Not really,” said Jorge slowly, still trying to figure out what was going on.
Spike huffed angrily as he grabbed the front door. “Ah forget it,” he grumble loudly before slamming it in Jorge’s face.
Jorge stood pointing at the door and making a series of confused faces as he tried to figure out what just happened.
No, wait, I’m the one who’s supposed to slam the door shut. Amúgy, mi a fene is történt most?
He rubbed his temples and sighed.
Csak ne gondolkozz rajta, Jorge.
He was about to make his way back to his chair, which was looking more and more comfortable by the second, when he heard another knock.
Jorge groaned and swung the door open. “Spike, I’m not—”
“Hi there, Jorgie!” greeted Pinkie.
“Oh… hello, Pinkie Pie,” said Jorge, surprised. “Sorry about that, I thought you were someone else.”
“Really, who?”
He waved her off. “It’s not important.” At least, it better not have been. “Can I help you?”
“I just came to give you this.” Pinkie pulled out a card from that rift in space-time Jorge was convinced only she could access and handed it to him. He looked down at the red heart-shaped piece of paper in front of him. The words ‘Please be my special somepony’ were written on it in glued macaroni. He looked down at Pinkie, who smiled at him expectantly.
“Uh… Pinkie Pie?” Jorge looked back at the card, then back at her; somehow her smile had grown. “Pinkie Pie, I’m… I’m quite flattered but…”
She looked quizzically at Jorge. “But what, Jorgie?” Her big, innocent eyes bored into him.
Jorge coughed awkwardly. He had never been given a Valentine’s card before; the whole situation felt alien to him.
Hát, ez eléggé bizarr.
“Pinkie, I don’t really have any feelings for you like that… so... I apologize?”
Pinkie Pie gave him a puzzled glance before bursting out in laughter. “Oh, no, silly. I didn’t mean special somepony like that. I just wanted you to be my special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day!”
“Hearts and Hooves Day?”
“Yeah, don’t you know what Hearts and Hooves Day is?”
Jorge shook his head.
“Gasp! Hearts and Hooves Day is only the most super funerific day ever! Well, except for Hearth’s Warming Eve. Ooh, and the Summer Sun Celebration. And then there’s Nightmare Night. Okay, so it’s definitely in, like, the top fifty most funerific days of the year. Everything’s super happy, and marefriends and coltfriends go out and spend the day playing games and being super romantic and stuff. And even ponies who don’t have special someponies give cards to their friends and hang out and have a super funerific time!”
Ha mégegyszer meghallom azt, hogy 'funerific'…
“I don’t know, Pinkie…”
“Pleeeeeaaaase.” Pinkie fell onto her belly and grabbed Jorge’s tree trunk of a leg. “It’ll be super-duper! There’s a fair with games and prizes, and everypony always has a great time. Well, except for last year when the Cutie Mark Crusaders hypnotized Big Mac and Cheerilee with a love potion, and there was all that property damage. But there’s only, like, a fifty-fifty chance that’ll happen again!”
Jorge sighed. I don’t even want to kno—wait, Pinkie knows the concept of ‘property damage’?
“I’m not sure it’d be a good idea if I’m your Valentine’s date, Pinkie.”
“Valen-what?”
“Valentine’s Day,” answered Jorge, gesticulating. “It’s like the human version of Hearts and Hooves Day. I think it was named after a saint who was executed with arrows for marrying Roman troops.” He snapped out of his momentary musings to see Pinkie staring up at him in horror.
Oh great, thought Jorge.
“He was… executed?” whispered the previously go-lucky mare. “W-why?”
Now she’s on verge of tears.Think of something. Sighing once more in defeat, Jorge picked up Pinkie and set her on her hooves. “All right, Pinkie, I’ll be your… special somepony.” There should be a law somewhere saying that a Spartan’s not allowed utter those words.
“Really!?” Pinkie perked up enthusiastically, completely forgetting Jorge’s morbid history lesson.
“Yes,” he answered pessimistically.
“Yay! Come on, Jorgie. Let’s hurry!”
Jorge followed Pinkie out of his house and towards town as she bounced and rambled about all the ‘superrific’ things they would do together. When they arrived to Ponyville, he was able to get a firsthand view of just how important Hearts and Hooves Day was.
Hundreds of streamers hung from building to building and displayed the typical reds, whites, and pinks of Valentine’s Day. Ponies carried balloons, flowers, chocolates, and all sorts of presents for their loved ones as they meandered through the carnival-converted streets of the village. Couples could be seen together in the park and squares, the younger lovers generally kissing each other hungrily, with the older ones content to just cuddle and enjoy each other’s company. Even the air was thick with a constant rain of confetti that fell from… somewhere. Jorge didn’t have any idea where it was all coming from.
“I’ll admit, this is pretty impressive.”
“Come on, Jorgie! Let’s go have some fun!” Ponies parted to make way for Jorge as Pinkie tugged him towards the fair with surprising vigor. At her insistence, the pair visited just about every stall in town. Jorge generally waited on the sidelines as Pinkie scarfed hundreds of kilos worth of heart-shaped carnival food or tried her hoof at dozens of the different games the festivities offered. Surprisingly, most of the ponies paid him no heed. He wasn’t sure whether it was because they had finally gotten used to him or because they were too distracted with their lovers to be scared, but either way, he was content to enjoy it while it lasted.
“Hey, look, Jorgie!” said Pinkie through a mouthful of hay fries. “It’s Berry Punch. Wanna go see what’s she selling this year?”
Jorge shrugged. “Whatever you want, Pinkie. Makes no difference to me.”
The two crossed through a crowded throng of ponies before making it to the clearing where the purple wine vendor had set up shop. Jorge was surprised to see a massive line leading from the stall; half the town must have been queued up to peruse her wares. Berry Punch was haggling as fast as she could manage and, despite the absolute tidal wave of shoppers threatening to drown her, seemed to be holding her own.
“Hiya there, Berry!” greeted Pinkie as she scarfed down a caramel apple she pulled out from God-knows-where.
“Hi… P-Pinkie. How are… how are you… uh… doing?” wheezed Berry as she did her best to keep up with the barrage of requests shouted at her by her insatiable shoppers. “Actually just… just hold on a… a sec.” Ducking under her makeshift counter, she returned with a sign reading ‘Out to Lunch’ and hung it from the front. However, the chattering demands of hungry shoppers didn’t abate as she waited patiently.
It was a short-lived patience.
“Oy! Can’t you read the bucking sign!? I’m out to lunch!”
The shoppers all paused in confusion.
“But… you’re right there,” pointed out one foolhardy patron.
Berry jumped over the counter and shoved her face into the poor stallion until he was bending backwards, holding himself an inch over the ground. “Good eye there, Daring Do,” she seethed through a smoldering glare. “What’s your point?”
“W-well, I-I was just gonna—”
“Just gonna what? Can’t a mare eat lunch at her own shop?”
“N-n-no… I mean y-y—“
You sayin’ that a mare has to stay in the kitchen? Huh? Is that where you want me to be?”
“W-w-what!? N-no I-I—“
“Then scram, you horny little parasprites!”
Without further ado, the shoppers all scrambled away from the insane mare, leaving her to chuckle to herself. “You’ve gotta to be tough on these shoppers. ‘Specially on a day like this. Let me tell you, Hearts and Hooves Day ain’t for the faint of heart,” she explained to a befuddled Jorge and Pinkie. “What can I do you for, guys?”
“We just wanted to see what you were selling this year, Berry,” explained Pinkie.
“Wait, I thought you were a wine vendor?” asked Jorge, eyeing the assortment of vials on Berry’s stand.
“Come on, big guy,” laughed Berry. “I always sell my whole stock weeks before Hearts and Hooves Day. This is, like, the biggest shopping day of the year for most vendors here. So, a while ago, I started selling different knick knacks and junk at the fair and made a killing! I usually switch it up every year just to keep things interesting.”
“Smart,” said Jorge. “What’s it this year?”
“Aphrodisiacs and pheromones!” announced Berry proudly. “Got ‘em from a potion brewer over in Creekland. Want one?” She pulled out a bottle of green liquid and waved it tantalizingly for Pinkie and Jorge. “I’ll give you my finest brew. One drink of this, and you’ll be horny enough tah hump Discord. Or maybe a pheromone’s more your deal? I’ve got a few that’ll make mares come at you like they’re in heat.”
No way. These ponies actually go through estrus? “No thanks, we’re good, Berry.”
“Fair enough. What’re you doing together anyways?
“Jorge is my special somepony for Hearts and Hooves!” proclaimed Pinkie ecstatically before Jorge could stop her. Berry Punch’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Really now? Wow, big guy, first Applejack, now Pinkie? You Casanova, you—at this rate, you’ll have gone through every mare in the village. And stallion, if you’re into that sort of thing. I don’t judge.”
“Ha ha, real funny. Don’t you have some snake-oil to sell or something?”
“I’m actually a little hurt here, big guy,” continued Berry, ignoring the human’s jab. “I’ve been wiggling my rump for you since you got here. Ain’t I enough mare for you?”
“Not even if you were swimming in this pheromone stuff you’re trying to peddle.”
“Ouch. Well, I forgive you. Who am I to stand in the way of true love? And what a partner you picked, Pinkie. I mean, Jorge here looks like he’s perfectly… sized to take care of your needs.” She gave the confused mare a lecherous wink.
“I feel like I’ve had this conversation with you before,” deadpanned Jorge.
Berry shrugged. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” She dropped her playful tone and gave Pinkie and Jorge a warm look. “Seriously, you guys, I’m happy for you two. Just ignore any hard-ass who gives you trouble; there isn’t anything wrong interspecies relationships.
Jorge could feel his heart sink a bit. Wait, she doesn’t seriously think that we’re…? “I think there’s been a bit of misunderstanding, me and Pinkie are—”
“Aaaaaaaaaagh!”
Pinkie, Berry, and Jorge turned around to see a trio of mares gawking at Jorge in fear. Before any of them could say anything, one of the mares, a beige earth pony with a red mane, swooned before collapsing onto the ground, unconscious.
“Quite the fainter, that one,” mused Jorge, recognizing the trio as the group of ponies who had been hanging around Berry Punch the day he went to the market.
“Yeah, don’t worry about Roseluck; she’s a bit of a drama queen,” whispered Berry before turning back to her friends. “Hey, guys! How are you? Rose manage to finish her Hearts and Hooves Day rush?”
“Berry, w-what are y-you doing!?” stuttered the blue unicorn. “Get away from that thing before he hurts you!”
Jorge could feel anger bubbling in his chest as he clenched his fist. “I think we should get going. Right, Pinkie?”
“No, no, don’t go! Colgate didn’t mean it,” assured Berry. “C’mon, guys, hang out a little longer.”
“Berry Punch, have you gone insane!?” screeched the orange mare. “Why would you want to be anywhere near it?
“Goodbye, Berry,” growled Jorge, turning back towards to fair with Pinkie. “Have a nice day.”
He ignored Berry Punch’s calls and everything around him as he marched away from the stand.
“Jorgie?” asked Pinkie tentatively. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Pinkie,” he growled.
“You don’t look fine,” said Pinkie with a frown, before smiling widely. “I know! I’ll cheer you up.”
Jorge sighed. “I think I should just go home, Pinkie.”
“Pleeeeaaaase? I know just the thing to make you feel better.”
Jorge groaned in exasperation “What?”
“I’ll take you to go win me a prize!”
Jorge looked at the beaming pony in confusion. “How is getting you a present supposed to make me feel better?”
Pinkie giggled. “Because, silly, getting things for your friends makes them happy. And making your friend happy makes you happy.”
Jorge scoffed, but couldn’t help but smile at the pony’s twisted logic. “Or is it just that you really want a prize?”
“They have a giant teddy bear, Jorgie!” exclaimed Pinkie pleadingly. She stared at him with big puppy-dog eyes and threw in a couple whimpers for good measure.
“All right then,” said Jorge. “Let’s go.”
The two made their way to one of the many heart-shaped tents. Stuffed animals hung from the walls, tentatively waiting for one of the many stallions trying to impress their marefriends by winning them to try their hand. As Jorge went to ask what the game entailed, he found a familiar face behind the counter.
“Ditzy?”
“Howdy there, Jorge!” greeted the grey pegasus, her eyes briefly focusing on him before wandering in different directions.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were a mailmare?”
“Yeah, I’m just running this as a favor for a friend. So you wanna play?”
“Sure, how does this work?”
Ditzy gestured to eight stacks of milk bottles at the far end of the tent. “You get eight balls per bit to knock down eight stacks. The more you hit, the better the prize.”
“Easy enough,” said Jorge with a shrug as he gave Ditzy one of the many bits Luna had provided him. Ditzy handed him a rubber ball, and he took aim…
…Something that would have been a little easier without Pinkie jumping onto his back and chatting incessantly into his ear.
“Oooh, a little more to the right! No, no! Breathe in more. A little higher, Jorgie. A little higher! No, not like that! You have to—”
“Pinkie, could you just be quiet and let me throw the bloody ball?”
“Okie dokie.”
“…”
“Pinkie?”
“Yes, Jorgie?”
“Get off.”
“Whoops,” she laughed sheepishly before climbing off his back.
With the pink menace off of him, Jorge returned to the matter at hand. Bending his arm and body back, he took careful aim at the milk bottles. Gripping the ball firmly, he carefully began to—
“LOOK OUT!”
An orange and white blur shot past Jorge’s head. He snapped back in alarm, the projectile bouncing in the tent. Milk bottles were knocked around haphazardly as the blur shot around the game stand at near-supersonic speeds. Ditzy and Pinkie hit the dirt as it ricocheted like a stray bullet. The mysterious object shot out of the back of the tent, leaving a human and some very confused ponies to stare at the mayhem.
Each of the piles of milk bottles had been knocked down, save for one lone survivor, which spun and tilted precariously.
“Huh,” noted Ditzy. “That sure was weir—“
BOOM
Ditzy’s and Pinkie’s bones rattled as an explosion rocked the fair.
Jorge’s hand shot to his empty holster as he crouched and scanned the grounds for cover.
What the hell is going on!? he screamed in his head, trying to pinpoint the source of the blast.
Once it was clear that no one was in any danger, everyone calmed down to find that shockwave of the blast was enough to knock down the last bottle; every single pile had been taken out.
“Well… this’s never happened before,” said Ditzy, rubbing the back of her head in confusion. “Welp, I guess you… win? Uh, here you go, I guess.” Fluttering up to the top of the prize shelf, she pulled out a white teddy bear that was easily twice her size and handed it to Jorge.
“Are you sure, Ditzy?” asked Jorge, taking the plush toy.
“Sure, all the bottles were knocked down.” She leaned into Jorge conspiratorially. “And I’m not above exploiting a loophole for a friend,” she whispered with a wink.
Jorge smiled and handed the teddy bear to Pinkie Pie.
“Thanks, Jorgie!” she squealed happily. Both she and Jorge gave Ditzy their goodbyes and continued through the carnival. They spent the rest of the day wandering through town, talking. Well, in any case, Pinkie did enough talking for the two of them.
Eventually, as the sun began to set, the fair began packing up, and couples headed home to celebrate more privately. Jorge found himself atop a hill outside of town, sitting next to Pinkie.
“So, Pinkie, you have fun today?”
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Yuppers! Thanks for taking me. Oh, and for the bear!” She gave the massive stuffed toy next to her a tight squeeze. “Today really was funerific, even if there wasn’t any cotton candy.”
How does a cotton candy machine blow up like that anyways?
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
The two sat quietly for a little while, just letting the warm breeze roll over them.
“Hey, Jorge?” said Pinkie. “I’m sorry for what Carrot Top and Colgate said to you today.”
Jorge gave her a curious look. “Who?”
“Those mares with Berry Punch,” she clarified.
“Oh,” he muttered, scowling. “Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does!” declared Pinkie, no small amount of resolve in her voice. “You’re my friend, Jorge, and I don’t like it when ponies talk to my friends like that.” Pinkie’s eyes softened and she looked at him dispiritedly. “You don’t deserve that.”
Jorge smiled. “Köszönöm, Pinkie.”
“Huh?”
“I said, ‘thank you.’”
“Oh. No problem!”
Jorge snorted. “As annoying as those two were, it wasn’t even close to as bad as when Berry Punch thought we were actually together,” he said mirthfully.
“Right! Could you imagine what everypony would say if they thought you were my special somepony—” Pinkie stopped herself as a wicked grin spread across her like a vice. She looked at the human deviously. “Tell me, Jorge, have you ever… pranked someone?”
Jorge thought about it for a moment. “I can’t say I have.”
“Well, I have a proposition for you.”
Ignoring the mysterious twirly moustache that Pinkie had suddenly donned, Jorge leaned in to hear her plan. When she was done whispering, he leaned back, impressed.
“Pinkie…”
He grinned.
“…you’re on.”
“One at a time! One at a time!” This is the last time I decide to sell aphrodisiacs without guards on Hearts and freaking Hooves Day!
No sooner had Berry Punch set up shop and announced her wares that dozens of couples swarmed her. Now she found herself trying to fend off wave after wave of rabid shoppers. Sure, she was making a small fortune, but it was rapidly becoming at the expense of her sanity.
Dammit, if I had known that there were so many couples with virility problems, I would have just helped Roseluck sell her roses or something!
“I said one at a… one at a time, you bucking animals!” she wheezed. “You! You gonna buy that or just stare at it?”
The black pegasus Berry yelled at jumped back in surprise. “I dunno, are you sure this’ll work?” he asked, holding up a vial filled with blue liquid.
“Of course it will!” she snapped. “That’s my finest brew. One drink of that, and you’ll be horny enough to hump a rabid manticore.”
The patron hummed pensively before shaking his head. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Then get out!”
As Berry Punch felt like she was approaching her wits’ end, she spotted a familiar figure poking out of the crowd and heading straight for her.
Well, well, if it isn’t tall, dark, and broody.
“Hiya there, Berry!”
“Hi… P-Pinkie. How are… how are you… uh… doing?” huffed Berry, handing a bottle to a customer.
Celestia, I sound like I’m doing the running of the leaves again. This is ridiculous, there’s got to be a way to get rid of all these… wait, I got it!
“Actually just… just hold on a… a sec.” Berry ducked under her counter and began rifling through her junk.
Come on, where are you son of a—aha!
Finding here prize, Berry pulled out a sign that read ‘Out to Lunch’ and hung it from the front.
This’ll clear them out.
Much to her dismay, the hyperactive customers paid no heed, finally exhausting her patience.
“Oy! Can’t you read the bucking sign!? I’m out to lunch!”
“But… you’re right there,” said a blue stallion from the crowd. Berry Punch paused as she grinned internally.
Looks like we got a cheeky one.
She hopped over the counter and gave the poor stallion a glare powerful enough to crumble mountains and make Discord shiver.
Hah, soon as they see you jump over the counter, their spines turn to jelly.
“Good eye there, Daring Do,” she fumed theatrically. “What’s your point?”
“W-well, I-I was just gonna—”
“Just gonna what? Can’t a mare eat lunch at her own shop?” Oh boy, this is too easy. Maybe I should throw some sexism in there. That always makes stallions wet themselves.
“N-n-no… I mean y-y—“
“You sayin’ that a mare has to stay in the kitchen? Huh? Is that where you want me to be?”
“W-w-what!? N-no I-I—”
“Then scram, you sniveling little parasprites!”
There’s a certain kind of satisfaction a shop owner feels when watching their customers run away from them in terror. To most merchants, this is called ‘insanity,’ or to put it more diplomatically, ‘bad business strategy.’ To Berry Punch, though, it was one of the best feelings in the world. With a smile, she turned her attention back to Pinkie and Jorge. “You’ve gotta to be tough on these shoppers. ‘Specially on a day like this. Let me tell you, Hearts and Hooves Day ain’t for the faint of heart. What can I do you for, guys?”
“We just wanted to see what you were selling this year, Berry,” explained Pinkie.
“Wait, I thought you were a wine vendor?”
Well, it’s better than thinking I’m the town drunk like most ponies.
“Come on, big guy. I always sell my whole stock weeks before Hearts and Hooves Day. This is the biggest shopping day of the year for most vendors here. So, a while ago, I got a pretty clever idea. I started selling different things at the Hearts and Hooves fair and made cartloads of bits! I usually switch it up every year just to keep things interesting.”
“Smart,” said Jorge. “What’s it this year?”
“Aphrodisiacs and pheromones!” Never again. “Got ‘em from a potion brewer over in Stillcreek. Want one?” Berry pulled out a bottle of green liquid and waved it tantalizingly for Pinkie and Jorge. “I’ll give you my finest brew. One drink of this, and you’ll be horny enough tah hump Discord.”
Besides, I like you, so I won’t try to rip you off with my other ‘finest brews,’ she thought to herself.
“Or maybe a pheromone’s more your deal? I’ve got a few that’ll make mares come at you like they’re in heat.”
“No thanks, we’re good, Berry.”
Your loss, big guy. Not even gonna try to offer you my growth potions. You look like the last person who might need it. “Fair enough. What’re you doing together anyways?
“Jorge is my special somepony for Hearts and Hooves!” announced Pinkie.
Berry Punch had to keep her jaw from hitting the floor. No way! Seriously?
“Really now?” she asked playfully. “Wow, big guy, first Applejack, now Pinkie? You Casanova, you—at this rate, you’ll have gone through every mare in the village. And stallion, if you’re into that sort of thing, I don’t judge.”
“Ha ha, real funny. Don’t you have some snake-oil to sell or something?”
“I’m actually a little hurt here, big guy,” continued Berry, ignoring the human’s jab. “I’ve been wiggling my rump for you since you got here. Ain’t I enough mare for you?”
Seriously, why not me?
“Not even if you were swimming in this pheromone stuff you’re trying to peddle.”
Ouch.
“Ouch. Well I forgive you. Who am I to stand in the way of true love? And what a partner you picked, Pinkie. I mean, Jorge here looks like he’s perfectly… sized to take care of your needs.”
“I feel like I’ve had this conversation with you before.”
Meh, probably. “Yeah, I get that a lot. Seriously, you guys, I’m happy for you two. Just ignore any hard-ass who gives you trouble; there isn’t anything wrong about interspecies relationships.” They’ll be really… random together, I guess.
Berry noticed Jorge’s face drop when she said that. “I think there’s been a bit of misunderstanding,” he began. “Pinkie and I are—”
“Aaaaaaaaaagh!”
Pinkie, Berry, and Jorge turned around to see Carrot Top, Colgate, and Roseluck gawking in fear. Before Berry could say anything, Rose collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.
“Quite the fainter, that one.”
Ugh, again? “Yeah, don’t worry about Roseluck; she’s a bit of a drama queen,” she whispered before turning back to her friends. “Hey, guys! How are you? Rose manage to finish her Hearts and Hooves Day rush?”
“Berry, w-what are y-you doing!?” stuttered Colgate. “Get away from that thing before he hurts you!”
No, please, not this again. After her meet up with Jorge in the market, Berry was lectured by Colgate and Carrot Top for almost a full hour on how dangerous he was and how irresponsible she was being. She had just ignored them, hoping that they would get over it, but it was obvious this was not the case.
Berry could see Jorge tensing out of the corner of her eye. “I think we should get going, right Pinkie?” he said through gritted teeth.
No!
“No, no, don’t go! Colgate didn’t mean it,” assured Berry. C’mon, Gates, you didn’t mean it, right? Colgate however, appeared resolute. “C’mon, guys, hang out a little longer.” Please stay.
“Berry Punch, have you gone insane!?” screeched Carrot Top. “Why would you want to be anywhere near it?
“Goodbye, Berry. Have a nice day.”
“No wait! Jorge, Pinkie, don’t—!”
But it was too late; they had been lost in the crowd and couldn’t hear her. As Berry kept staring off, trying to find them, Carrot Top came up and scowled behind her.
“Berry Punch, I can’t believe you! How you could do something so irresponsible is beyond me,” she ranted. “We told you not to go near that thing. Do you want it to hurt you?”
“Did you see what it did to poor Roseluck?” asked Colgate. “We were lucky to stay in one piece.”
Berry didn’t register what her friends were saying. Somewhere deep in her head, she could hear something snap.
“Well, it’s no problem. We forgive you,” said Carrot. “Now that we got that out of the way, Berry, did you hear that Colgate asked that cute stallion who—”
“What the buck is wrong with you!?!” screeched Berry
Carrot and Colgate cowered away as she marched up to them.
“W-wha—?”
“Shut up, Colgate!” snapped Berry. She turned her attention back to Carrot. “You forgive me? You just drove off one of my friends and called him a monster, and you forgive me? I ask again, what the buck is wrong with you!?”
Carrot Top looked horribly confused. “B-b-but it—”
“He what? We were just talking. Celestia, it was actually the nicest part of my day, and then you show up treating him like he’s going to rip my head off or something!”
Carrot Top’s face became a little green at Berry’s image. “B-b-but it’s… he… I… look at it!”
“Look at what?” seethed Berry.
“H-he’s a h-human?” muttered the yellow mare weakly, not sure if she was asking a question.
“So what!?”
“I t-thought he—”
“You thought he what!?”
Carrot didn’t answer. She cowered away from her furious friend and looked at the ground. “B-but he’s dangerous.”
“He—ARRRRGHH!” Berry Punch closed her eyes and took a deep breath to compose herself. “You know what I think?” she asked, her voice dripping with venom. “I think you guys, and the rest of this town, really need to pull out whatever crawled up your collective asses.” With that, Berry ignored her friends’ calls and into the crowd. After a few minutes of blindly marching through the fairgrounds, she found herself in the park, surrounded by happy couples. With an angry huff, she plopped her plot onto a bench, and sulked to herself.
Worst. Hearts and Hooves Day. Ever. Yes, even worse than last year when Applejack’s hot brother busted your house. She looked at all the couples cuddling and scoffed.
“Couldn’t even get a stupid date. Even the seven foot tall alien got a date.” Berry sighed. “Ah well. It’s not like chocolate covered stallions just fall from the sky.”
BOOM
Berry covered her ears and tried to lock her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering. “What the buck was tha—!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”
Berry dove off the bench just as a pink-green blur crashed through the branches of the tree above her and fell right where she had just been sitting. Once the commotion was over, Berry uncovered her eyes and took a cautious look, only to see Lyra, dizzily splayed on the bench and covered in cotton candy.
Berry Punch gawked at the unicorn before looking up to the clouds.
“Not exactly what I asked for, but close enough.”
“Oh, Lyra, this is so romantic.”
“Mmhmm.”
“Just you and me on Hearts and Hooves Day. Oh, and I managed to get reservations at The Blue Rose for tonight. Can you believe it?”
“That’s nice, sweetie.”
“This is going to be great! We can go to the park and cuddle, and then go play some games at the fair…”
“Mmhmm.”
“Oooh, and I can’t wait to try some of the cotton candy! And with all the money we made selling my bon-bons, we can even... Lyra, are you even listening to me?”
“Of course it doesn’t make you look fat, Bons.”
“Lyra!”
“Hwha?” Lyra blinked as she snapped at out of her daze, only to find herself staring at a pair of angry teal eyes in the middle of Ponyville Plaza. “Uh… yes, sweetie?”
Bon-Bon scowled. “Lyra, can’t you at least try to listen to me when I’m talking to you?”
“Sorry, Bons, you’re right. What do you want to do?”
Bon-Bon softened her glare. “Want to go to the park?”
“Uh… yeah… sure… whatever.”
Bon-Bon smiled and the two quickly made their way there. She felt great. Hearts on Hooves Day was her favorite day of the year, and to her, the grass looked a little greener, the sun felt a little warmer, and the sky was a little bluer than on most days. She took a deep breath of the sweet air and shuddered happily.
“Isn’t this nice, honey?”
“Yeah, hun. Sure.”
Bon-Bon cuddled against her inattentive marefriend and groaned. “Hmm, you know, I don’t think anypony’s in this part of the park. What say you and me have some fun?” Wiggling her eyebrows, Bon-Bon leaned down and nipped Lyra’s nape. Rather than hearing a high-pitched squeal, all she got for her efforts was an uncomfortable grunt.
“Lyra, what’s wrong? Lyra? Lyra!”
“Huh, what!” said Lyra, snapping out of another daze.
“Lyra, what is with you?” huffed Bon-Bon. “Why are you so distracted today?”
“Oh, sorry, Bons. I’m just looking for Jorge. I have to ask him something. I have a new theory about human gills that he might not have considered. I know! Maybe you could help me look for him. He’s got to be around here somewhere.”
Bon-Bon gawked at her marefriend for the longest time before she stood up brusquely, knocking Lyra over easily, and marched away.
“Pfft, Bon-Bon?” Lyra called out, spitting out a clump of dirt. “Bon-Bon, where are you going? Bon-Bon!” She chased after her incensed marefriend. “Bon-Bon, wait up! What’s wrong?”
Bon-Bon spun around like a whip, knocking Lyra on her haunches. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong!?” Bon-Bon wiped her eyes. “‘What’s wrong’ is that ever since Jorge showed up, that’s all you’ve been able to talk about! Humans this, and humans that! You’re even going to leave me to go to Canterlot with him! You couldn’t even lay off on the human crap for one day—our special day!”
“…Our anniversary?”
Bon-Bon spluttered. “I… you… no, not our anniversary! Hearts and Hooves Day!” She took a deep breath and turned her back to Lyra. “I’m going home, Lyra.”
The words carried a finality to them that hit Lyra in the chest like a charging manticore. “No wait, don’t go! I’m sorry, Bon-Bon, you’re right. I’ve been acting like a total mule. C’mon, let’s go to the fair, and I’ll make it up to you.”
“Lyra, I don’t think—”
“Pleeeeaaase,” begged Lyra. “You said something about cotton candy earlier, right? Let’s go back to the fair and get some, and I promise not to mention Jorge or humans for the rest of the day.”
Bon-Bon looked unsure. “Fine,” she conceded reluctantly.
Lyra beamed. “C’mon, let’s go!” While Lyra ran towards the fair like she was wired on a sugar rush after eating a tub of caramel, Bon-Bon followed sluggishly, as if she was wading through said tub, her legs half-heartedly making any efforts whatsoever.
Before long, they found themselves standing in front of the cotton candy stand, Lyra ringing a little bell on the counter frantically.
“Hellooooo, anypony here?”
“I don’t think you’ll get much of a reply,” deadpanned her marefriend, pointing to a sign reading ‘On Break.’
“What? Who goes out to lunch this early?”
“Lyra, I just want to go home.”
Lyra’s shoulders sagged. “Yeah… sure…” Sorry, Bon-Bon. But just as they were about to leave, Lyra’s attention was snatched by something out of the corner of her eye. “Ooooh,” she cooed, walking up to the cotton candy machine.
“Lyra… what are you doing?”
“I’ve always wanted to try this.” Fiddling with the buttons on the control panels, Lyra grinned when the machine clicked and buzzed to a start.
She dunked her head into the machine.
“Lyra!”
Much to Bon-Bon’s relief, her marefriend popped back out unscathed, albeit covered in cotton candy.
“Bon-Bon, you gotta try this!” insisted Lyra as she licked the pink fuzz from her face. “It’s awesome!”
“Lyra get down from there this instant!” ordered Bon-Bon. “What if somepony catches you?”
“Come on, Bons, nopony’s here. Besides—” Lyra dunked her head back into the machine and popped back up, sporting a pink beard “—you were the one who wanted cotton candy.”
As much as she hated it, Bon-Bon couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of her marefriend.
“What?”
“You look like Pinkie Pie would if she had a beard,” she said through stifled laughs.
Lyra looked down at her chin before licking up all the candy in a way that would make the aforementioned party pony proud.
“But seriously, Lyra, you should get off that thing. We don’t know what could happen.”
“Don’t be so nervous, Bons.” Lyra stuck her head back in and swallowed another mouthful of candy. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
As if on cue, a shrill screech erupted from behind.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”
An orange and white blur shot out of nowhere and smacked into Lyra’s backside before speeding away.
With a loud “Oof,” she fell into the spinner, but not before her knee hit the machine’s control panel.
“Uh… Lyra?” Bon-Bon backed away from the machine, which started humming and shaking violently.
“Bon—?” That was all Lyra was able to say before becoming nothing more than a green splotch in a sea of pink. The machine spun round and round, twisting her at breakneck speeds.
“Bon-Bon, help me!” she yelled distortedly over the machine’s humming. The spinner began rumbling, shaking, and hopping all over the place as bolts and screws flew from it. Blue sparks shot out of the control panel as the machine picked up speed, spinning the pony faster and faster.
“Lyra!” Like a gallant knight rushing to save her beloved princess, Bon-Bon charged towards the infernal machine to save her lover trapped within its clutches.
So close. Just need to turn this stupid thing o—
BOOM
Bon-Bon was thrown back against a tree as the cotton candy machine exploded right in front of her. With a groan, she rubbed her head, trying to straighten her vision and regain her hearing.
The spinner was practically sagging; the steal was wrinkled, pieces of scrap littered the grass around it, and steam rose from the tired machine. All around, tents had been blown back by the shockwave of the blast and dazed ponies were arriving to see what had happened.
“L-Lyra?” mumbled Bon-Bon hazily. Adrenaline shot through her like a bolt of lightning, and she rushed towards the damaged pile of metal. “Lyra!?”
Looking frantically, she found neither hide nor hair of her marefriend. She gazed up to see a long trail of pink racing across the sky…
…with a green dot at its head.
Lyra, meanwhile, was being treated to a sight few unicorns had ever been treated to: a beautiful, panoramic view of Equestria, with dozens of little villages dotting the countryside like tiny ants. She could even see the ivory silhouette of Canterlot in the distance. Sadly, Lyra couldn’t truly appreciate the breathtaking and humbling view, for she was preoccupied with something at the moment.
That something being that she was a couple thousand feet above the ground.
The cotton candy-covered unicorn’s screams became nothing more than panicked gurgles as they were lost in the gale. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her lips flapped back as the powerful winds assaulted her. Gradually, she slowed down until she was suspended in the air, neither falling nor rising. Lyra felt total calm wash over her as she stayed floating in the blue abyss, her heart slowing to a near stop, her breathing still; she knew true peace.
Sadly, this sensation lasted for a whopping five milliseconds before gravity pulled the metaphorical carpet from under Lyra and sent her plummeting, like the jerk that it was.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRHHGG!”
Oh, Celestia. OH CELESTIA! I’m gonna die! Okay calm down, stop freaking out. I SAID STOP FREAKING OUT!
Lyra desperately tried to come up something to avoid her impending doom but couldn’t think of anything, even if her life depended on it… which it kind of did.
Falling at hundreds of feet towards the ground will do that to somepony.
Just as a Lyra was about to lose hope, an idea rammed itself into her head with the subtly of an exploding cotton candy machine.
Hope this works!
Lyra’s horn crackled with energy as a light erupted from its tip, engulfing her in a basic levitation spell. Her fur tingled as she slowed down until she descended as lightly as a feather.
“Hah!” she huffed, beads of sweat running down her pink face as she tried to maintain the difficult spell. “Lyra, one… gravity, zero…”
Sadly for her, Lyra’s horn quickly reached its limit. With a loud pop, the spell faded, and she found herself falling again.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”
Crashing through the top of a tree, Lyra’s vision became a flurry of leaves and bark. She grunted and groaned in pain as she managed to hit every branch on the way down. Her descent ended with a final thud, leaving her a confused heap of leaves and cotton candy.
“Lyra!”
Out of nowhere, Lyra found herself in her marefriend’s iron grip. “Thank Celestia you’re okay,” said Bon-Bon, crushing her disoriented lover in her forelegs.
“You sure know how to make an entrance, Heartstrings,” laughed Berry Punch.
“Berry? What are you doing here?” asked Lyra still dazed from her crash.
“Oh, you know. Strolling around, smelling some flowers, trying to avoid getting crushed by ponies falling from the sky, that sort of thing. I think the real question here is why are you covered in cotton candy?”
“Long story,” mumbled Lyra, blushing.
“I was so worried,” said Bon-Bon, muffled by Lyra’s coat. “Don’t ever do something stupid like that again.”
“So… I see you guys have been having a pretty interesting Hearts and Hooves Day.”
“You could say that,” answered Bon-Bon. “How about you, Berry?”
Berry sighed. “Pretty crummy, actually. Although, I did get to talk to Jorge for a little bit; you know, the human?”
At the word ‘Jorge,’ Lyra visibly perked up. “Did you say Jorge?”
“Yeah. He went that way a little while ago,” said Berry, pointing off towards the fair. “Are you looking for him? You could catch him if you hurry.”
A massive grin spread across Lyra’s face, but it immediately withered when she noticed her Bon-Bon’s disheartened expression. “Uh… nah,” she said with a wave of her hoof. “It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, and there’s a special pony I need to spend some time with.” She hugged a stunned Bon-Bon, who smiled and blinked away grateful tears. “So, any ideas what you want to do, candy ass?”
Bon-Bon hummed. “Well, it’d be a shame to let all this cotton candy go to waste,” she whispered sultrily. “What say we go home and… get you cleaned up?” Bon-Bon gave Lyra’s cheek a long, wet seductive lick, causing the unicorn to blush furiously.
Both mares cuddled and giggled furiously, ignoring Berry Punch’s eye roll.
Wobbling precariously on a stool, Spike flexed his arms as he admired himself in the mirror.
“Spiiiiiiiiiiike!!!”
With a startled jump, Spike lost his footing and, taking the shower curtains with him, tumbled onto the bathroom floor with a painful thump.
“Spike are you okay?” asked Twilight, opening the door and stepping in. “I heard you talking, and I...” She trailed off when she saw the wiggling pile of shower curtain.
“Uh… Spike?”
Spike popped out from under the tangled mess with a groan.
“Oh, there you are. Well, now that I have you, would you mind helping me with something downstairs?”
Spike rubbed his bruised head. “Aww, c’mon, Twi. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day. Can’t it wait ‘till tomorrow?”
Twilight’s horn lit up, and Spike stumbled as the curtain slipped from under him and levitated back into place while covered in a purple glow.
“You still have chores to do, mister. You’ll be free to go as soon as they're done.”
Spike felt his heart sink. “Twi, you don’t understand. I need to go, pronto!”
“What, do you have a date or something?” teased Twilight.
Spike scuffed the floor. “I might if all goes well,” he muttered to himself, not noticing Twilight blink in surprise.
It soon dawned on her what he was talking about, and she smiled softly. “Tell you what, you help me with just one thing, and you’re off the hook for the rest of the day.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Spike beamed. “Thanks, Twilight! Just give me a sec, and I’ll be right down.”
“All right, just don’t too long.”” she chuckled as she headed back downstairs. Once he was sure she was gone, Spike waddled into the bedroom he shared with Twilight. Double checking to ensure he was alone, he lifted a loose floorboard next to his bed and pulled out a wrinkled black and white picture.
The picture featured him along with Twilight and all their friends. His eyes lingered on Rarity for a second, and he smiled. He looked out the window and took a deep breath.
Today’s the day.
Stuffing the photo back in its hiding spot, he rushed down the stairs into the foyer.
“So whatta you need, Twi?” he asked, eagerly rubbing his claws together. Sooner I finish here, the sooner I can go talk to Rarity.
“Hm?” Twilight looked up from the papers on her desk. “Oh, I just need you to dictate some things for me from Madame Mystic’s ‘Magical Metamorphosis for Mares,’ first edition.”
“Great, I’ll get it for you in a jiffy.”
Spike scanned through the innumerable books that lined the walls until he spotted Magical Metamorphosis jutting precariously from the very top of the shelves.
“Uh… Twi, where’s the ladder?”
“It should be around here somewhere.”
Spike shrugged, gesturing to the ladderless room.
Twilight scoffed and charged her horn. “That silly thing is always disappearing. Don’t worry, Spike. I’ll just grab it.”
Spike waved Twilight off. “No prob, Twi. I’ll take care of it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Twilight rubbed her neck awkwardly. “Well, it’s pretty high up there, and you’re a little… uh… short.”
“Short? C’mon. It’s right here,” he grunted as he climbed up the shelf. “Just a couple more steps and I’ll practically be next to it.”
Twilight didn’t look convinced as Spike, using the shelves as a ladder, pulled himself up until he managed to grab a hold of the book.
“Ha, I got it!”
No sooner did he say those words that his foot slipped from under him. Spike, followed by a cascade of books, tumbled back with a yelp.
Twilight winced as brick after page filled brick fell onto the bruised dragon until he was buried under a pile of first edition encyclopedias and magical guides, the heaviest of all kinds of guides.
“Spike, are you okay!?”
A single triumphant arm burst from the jungle of pages, clutching the blue covers of ‘Magical Metamorphosis.’
“Here ya go, Twilight,” slurred Spike.
“Spike, that was reckless of you,” tisked Twilight, dusting him off with magic. “You should've just let me grab it.”
“I’m not helpless, Twilight. I can do things on my own.”
“It’s not about being helpless, Spike. It’s about knowing one’s limitations.”
“I wouldn’t have any limitations if I weren’t so little,” he grumbled to himself. Stupid stubby legs.
Twilight prepared a quill and piece of parchment. “Now then, just dictate the first few paragraphs of the eighth chapter, and I’ll set you free.”
Spike sighed and leafed through the massive text’s pages before clearing his throat:
“As briefly mentioned in the previous chapters, certain objects can be infused with pools of magic and weaved in such a way as to continuously dispel an enchantments effects. These objects, known as talismans, are usually gems due to their natural propensity to absorb ambient magic, but are not necessarily limited to such. Such properties may theoretically be applied to metamorphic magic, with talismans able to change a subject’s physical properties, making a wearer taller or larger in muscle mass.”
“All right, Spike,” said Twilight, double-checking the scribbled parchment with satisfaction.
“That’s all I need. Have fun at the fair, okay?”
But Spike wasn’t listening. He had become totally engrossed with the book, letting his wide eyes burn through the words.
“Twilight,” he said, without looking up from the pages. “Is all of this true?”
Twilight hummed thoughtfully. “Yup, it sure is. It is fairly advanced magic, but a skilled caster could pull it off.”
“So, basically if I were to, I don’t know, hypothetically ask you to make me one these talisman thingies to make me taller, you could?”
Twilight looked at Spike suspiciously. “Yes,” she began slowly. “I suppose I could. But you wouldn’t ask me something like that… right?”
“Pleeeeaaaase, Twilight!” pleaded Spike, throwing himself at Twilight’s hooves. “Please please please make me one of these talismans. I’ll do anything!”
“Spike don’t be ridiculous,” she said, trying to pull the clingy dragon off her. “I have more important things to do. Besides, you’re fine the way you are. In fact, you might be a little taller than other dragons your age.”
“Yeah, for dragons my age. But I’m a shrimp compared to some ponies who are younger than me!”
“You’re being silly.”
“You said I should learn my limitations,” said Spike, throwing Twilight an accusatory finger. “Well here’s me knowing my limitations and trying to fix them.”
Twilight rubbed her eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” She kneeled down and wrapped a comforting leg around him. “Spike, I know it’s frustrating, but you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. It’s not easy for anypony, but believe me, once you do, you’ll be happier for it. Besides, one day you’ll become one of the largest known creatures in the world.”
She turned her attention back to her work. “You’ll just have to wait a little.”
Spike sighed. Yeah right… a little.
He was about to drag himself out of the library, when an idea popped into his head.
“Well, geez, Twilight,” he said, rolling his eyes theatrically. “If you don’t know how to do it, you just had to say it.”
Twilight chuckled mirthlessly. “Uh… I know how to do it.”
“Yeah, sure, if you say so. Look, Twi, we’ve been together for years. You don’t have to be so insecure about it to me. If you don’t know, that’s fine. You can’t know everything.”
Twilight glared at the smug lizard. “I’ll have you know, I figured out how to infuse talismans when I was a filly!” she declared furiously.
“Oh yeah?” asked Spike with a grin. “Prove it.”
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but stopped herself. “Spike, I know what you’re trying to do,” she deadpanned.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You know what? Fine. I’ll make you the stupid talisman.” Maybe this’ll backfire on you, and you’ll learn a lesson.
She rummaged through her desk drawer and pulled out a dusty old necklace with a sapphire pendent as Spike fist pumped behind her.
“I was going to save this for an experiment. But I guess if being taller is so important for yo—”
“Yes it is,” said Spike quickly. “Now magic it up.”
Twilight scowled and charged her horn. A bright bolt of magic shot into the gem. Spike watched wide-eyed as the lightning flowed from her horn, eventually petering out into a few final sparks. The sapphire briefly glowed purple before turning blue again.
“There,” huffed Twilight. “Woo, that was harder than I thought.”
“Did it work?”
“One way to find out.”
Spike slipped the necklace on, and immediately cringed as he was wrapped in a purple glow. The glow subsided, and he reluctantly opened his eyes.
“Did it work?” he asked, only to find himself staring at Twilight’s horn. “Whoa!”
Spike glanced down to find his stubby legs replaced by a new pair of gangly limbs. He stretched his new arms in wonder and experimentally bent his legs. He looked down at Twilight wearing a dumb grin. “This is awesome! I’m enormous.”
“Yeah,” said Twilight, returning to her desk. “You’re practically as tall as Jorge.”
“You think so?”
“Of course,” she continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You should go visit him and see for yourself.”
“Great idea, Twilight!”
Twilight shook her head as the door slammed behind her. Oh, this’ll end well.
Spike spent the whole way to Jorge’s cottage marvelling at his new body.
Rarity’s gonna love this! he thought, breaking into a sprint.
He skided to a halt, narrowly avoiding greeting the front door with his face, and laughed. I got here so fast!
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden feeling of nausea. “Woah,” he muttered, clutching his woozy head. “Looks like being a giant is gonna take some getting used to.”
Spike shook his dizziness away and confidently knocked on the front door.
“Hey, Jorge!” he greeted as Jorge opened the door.
“Spike,” replied Jorge with a nod. “This is a surprise. Can I help you?”
“Notice anything different,” asked Spike smugly, stretching his legs none too subtly.
“Excuse me?”
“I asked if you notice anything different.”
“Uh… you’re wearing a necklace?”
Spike frowned. “No. Well, I mean, yeah. But do you notice anything else?”
“Not really.”
“Ah forget it,” huffed Spike angrily. He grabbed the door and slammed it in Jorge’s face. “Maybe someone else will appreciate how huge I’ve gotten,” he said loudly, as if Jorge was still behind him.
The festival was in full swing by the time he got back to town, and he was pleased to see that ponies were performing double takes whenever they spotted him.
Now this is more likely, he thought strutting confidently into the market and up to a familiar face.
“Hey, Applejack!”
“Oh, hey there Spike—whoa!” Applejack jumped back in surprise. “Well ah’ll be. When’d you get so tall?”
“Oh, this?” asked Spike flippantly. He leaned casually on Applejack’s stall and looked at his claws. “This is just a little spell Twilight cooked up. You like it?”
“Is it permanent?”
“Nah, it just affects me as long as I wear this.” He pointed as the gem hanging around his neck. “So, what’re you up to? Got a Hearts and Hooves Day date?”
“Nope, not this year,” laughed Applejack. “This year it’s my turn to run the stand.”
“Oh, cool. Listen, do you know where Rarity is?”
Applejack frowned. “Yeah, she’s over by Cinnamon Swirl’s stand. But maybe you sho—”
“All right, thanks, Applejack!” shouted Spike, running off into the direction Applejack was pointing.
“Wait, Spike, that ain’t a good idea!”
But Spike wasn’t listening; he already weaving between startled ponies as he desperately searched for the love of his life.
Now, let’s see: Cinnamon Swirl, Cinnamon Swirl. Ugh, where is that… aha!
He spotted the stand and was about to head over and attempt to penetrate the mass of ponies surrounding it when his heart stopped and his mouth became suddenly dry.
Rarity was leaning on the counter and talking with the mare behind the cashier. She was practically glowing behind her makeup and jewelry; she tossed her hair back to laugh and Spike could feel his legs shake under him.
Spike gulped nervously. He took a couple of deep breaths to strengthen his resolve before marching through the crowd.
“My word!” gasped Rarity when she noticed Spike. “Spike, what happened to you?”
Spike had to keep himself from grinning. “Oh, you know. Growth spurts and stuff.”
“I would say so, look how tall you’ve gotten,” she marvelled. “Why, it looks like you're not my little Spikey-Wikey anymore.”
This time Spike did grin as he puffed his chest out proudly.
“Such a dashing young dragon,” continued Rarity. “Isn’t he dashing, Cinnamon?”
“Oh yeah, what a hunk.”
“So handsome. In fact, I… I…” Rarity blushed and bit her lip nervously, making Spike anxious.
“What is it, Rarity?” he asked.
“I can’t hold it in any longer. Spike… I always thought of you as the little brother I’ve never had… but now. Now that you’re so tall, I can’t help but feel… something more.”
“Rarity, I—”
Rarity shushed him and gently placed a hoof on his lips. “Don’t say another word, Spike. There isn’t anything left to say.” She closed her eyes, puckered her lips, and slowly leaned in to him.
At which point, Spike blinked to find a small crowd of ponies gawking at him as he snogged the empty air in front of him. The ice cream stand was still surrounded by shoppers, and he hadn’t moved at all. He blinked in confusion and grinned sheepishly at the snickering onlookers.
Okay, yeah, like that. But for real this time, he thought, bravely approaching the love of his love. Except this time his legs didn’t stop quivering, his chest didn’t puff proudly, and he wasn’t brimming with confidence like his day-dreaming self. With every step he took to the oblivious alabaster unicorn. Spike could feel the butterflies in his stomach growing more and more restless… and they were shivving him.
“H-h-hello… uh… R-Rari...Rari…”
Rarity turned around and immediately shrieked, causing Spike to stumble back in shock.
“S-Spike? Is that you?”
“Uh…”
“Oh my, I do apologize there, darling. I… I hardly recognized you. What happened.”
“Twilight zapped this here neckalas thinga-majig and now I’m big and we can go on a date together and hug and stuff.”
...is what Spike wanted to say. Sadly, the great goddess of love, in her unfathomable wisdom, did to Spike what she does to all young boys when speaking to a girl of their fancy. I.e. she turned his brain to mush and made him babble like an idiot.
“Twilight… necklace… zap… vroom… big,” he babbled (quite idiotically).
Rarity giggled. “My word, Spike, what’s gotten you so flustered all of a sudden?”
Spike shook his head clear. “No, wait. Listen Rarity, there’s something important I need to ask you.”
“What is it?” she asked looking slightly worried.
Spike took a deep breath. This is it.
“Rarity, I was wondering. Would you do me the honor of being my spe—”
“Hey, babe, I’m back.”
A blue stallion came out of nowhere and wrapped a leg around Rarity.
“Did you get the ice cream yet?” asked the muscular pegasus.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Rarity. “I was distracted by a friend. Spike, this is Cirrus, my date for Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Spike, sadly, wasn’t listening. He was too busy ignoring his jaw, which had dropped down to the ground, burrowed into the soil, and continued to drop deeper and deeper into the dark bowels of disbelief.
“Hey there, little bud,” greeted Cirrus with nod, rubbing Rarity’s shoulders. “Listen, Rarity, I’m gonna get an ice cream, you want anything?”
“No thank you.”
“‘Kay. See you in a bit. Nice to meet you, Spine.”
“It’s Spike,” he mumbled as Cirrus ran off.
“So, what was it you wanted to say?”
“Uh… oh… nothing,” he sighed dejectedly. “So… you and Cirrus, huh?” Something in his chest hurt when he said those words.
“Yes, we met about a week ago—two days before Jorge arrived, in fact. He seemed nice, so I asked if he… Spike, are you all right?”
No. “Sure,” he said, struggling to strain a smile. “Just a bit of a stomach ache or whatever.” Spike spun around and started heading back to the library for some much needed sulking. “I’m just gonna head ba—”
BOOM
What the buck was tha—!
“Aaaaaaaaaagh!”
Spike gasped, “Look out, Rarity!” He dive tackled her just as an orange blur shot over them and into the ice cream stand. Ponies were yelling and running around frantically as creamy sugar exploded all over them.
“Spike, what’s gotten into you!” she asked, pushing him off and picking herself up. “Why in the world would you…” She trailed off when she noticed the now-cracked gem around his neck glowing erratically. “Uh… Spike?”
Spike glanced down at his neck. Uh oh.
The glow encased his body, and he felt himself being pulled in every direction at once. Ponies stopped to stare in horror as Spike’s body grew and stretched.
“Rarity, are you okay!?” screamed Cirrus as he rushed back to see what all the commotion was about. He instantly froze. Staring back at him was a massive purple lizard twice his size. The two stared frozen at one another until Spike grinned sheepishly, revealing the sharp fangs he was now sporting.
“Hi,” he greeted with an awkward wave. At which point, Cirrus let out the loudest, painfullest, girliest shriek the town had ever heard before fleeing. This caused the rest of the ponies to go into a frenzy as they screamed and tried to flee the monstrous beast. Taken aback, Spike stumbled on his own elongated tail.
“Woah woah!” Trying to keep his balance, he grabbed onto the first thing he saw. Unfortunately, this turned out to be the pony right next to him.
Spike and Rarity both yelped as they crashed through the ice cream stand, knocking over tubs of ice cream and sending shards of wood every which way.
“Spike, what is going on!?” she yelled, covered in strawberry ice cream and unwittingly living out Pinkie Pie’s childhood dream.
“Rarity, don’t panic! It’s me, Spike.”
Rarity was about to scream something else, when she stopped herself and looked at Spike in confusion. “Yes,” she began slowly. “I can see that. Now would you mind telling me why are you so big and why I’m covered in ice cream?”
“Wait, aren’t you freaked out by me being so huge?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Well, yes, obviously a little bit. But this isn’t exactly the first time you’ve been transformed into a giant monster and taken me hostage, either.”
“Uh… good point.”
“Now please, enlighten me: why are you big this time?”
Spike glanced at his feet in embarrassment and sighed. “I was sick of being so little all the time, so I asked Twilight to make me this talisman thingie to make me big.”
“Yes, and look how that worked out. My coat is ruined, and you’ve scared off a genuinely nice colt from me.”
Spike winced. “Sorry, Rarity. I just wanted you to like me.”
Rarity sighed and placed a hoof of his shoulder. “Spike, that’s ridiculous. Of course I like you. You don’t have to be tall for that. You’re perfect the way you are.”
“Really?”
Rarity smiled. “Of course. You’re my little Spikey-Wikey”
“Thanks, Rarity. Sorry about your date.”
“It’s fine,” groaned Rarity, remembering Cirrus. “I don’t really think he was my type anyways.”
The two sat and watched the chaos unfold around them.
“You have to admit though,” chuckled Spike. “His scream was kinda funny.”
“Spike, that’s so mean!” gasped Rarity; however, she couldn’t help but titter.
“It’s true, though! He sounded like a filly.”
“Stop it you,” laughed Rarity, floating up a glob of ice cream and hurling it at him.
“Hey!” Spike picked up a clawful of ice cream and waved it menacingly.
“Don’t you da—” Rarity gasped indignantly as a glob of mint smacked her square in the face. There was a brief silence as the two glanced at one another before a flurry of ice cream and laughter overtook them.
Best Hearts and Hooves Day ever.
Deep breaths. Deepbreaths.
To most, the door in front of Featherweight would be nothing more than a slab of polished wood, carefully crafted and slightly more decorative than your average slab of polished wood.
To Featherweight, it may as well of been the door to Tartarus itself.
Deep. Breaths. Deep. Breaths.
With shaky legs and ragged breaths, he took a step towards the hellish door…
He cringed at the thunderous noise that echoed through the halls on the other side.
DEERBREATHSDEEPBREATHSDEEP—I CAN’T DO THIS!
With whip-like speed, the pegasus spun around and prepared to gallop back to the—
“Featherweight?”
—the front door, which he was notabout to flee from in abject terror while shrieking like a little filly.
Featherweight’s pupils shrunk until they were lost, and his heart, which had previously been about to burn out, gave no evidence of its existence. Mechanically, he turned around.
“Oh, hey there… uh… Scootaloo,” he squeaked in thinly veiled discomfort.
“Can I help you?”
Featherweight didn’t say anything. He gawked at the girl, trying to reboot his conscience. Say something you moron. Move your lips so noise comes out! “Er… uh… n-nice weather we’re having?”
What!?
Scootaloo blinked. “What?”
“The w-weather… it’s nice.” Okay, new plan: stop being an idiot.
That’s not how you say ‘yes,’ thought Featherweight frantically. “W-will you b-b-be my s-special s-somepony?” He shakily handed his prospective love a scarlet rose he had picked that morning, which she absentmindedly took as a her cheeks warmed.
“Y-you want me to be your special somepony?”
Featherweight nodded weakly.
Scootaloo bashfully averted her eyes and rubbed her leg awkwardly.
The gesture was enough pierce Featherweight’s heart. His whole body withered along with his spirit as Scootaloo fidgeted uncomfortably.
“Y-yes.”
Featherweight’s ears perked up. “W-wha—?”
“I-I’ll be you’re special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day,” she reiterated.
And then Featherweight’s body shut down.
“Uh… Featherweight?” Scootaloo waved her hoof in front of Featherweight’s empty stare.
A grin washed across his face as his eyes lit up with joy. “WOO HOO!” he whooped without warning.
Scootaloo couldn’t help but giggle at his gusto. “So, where are you taking me, squirt?”
And just like that, his gusto shriveled. “Take… you?”
“Well duh! If you wanna be my special somepony, you got to pull out all the stops.”
“Oh… uh… wanna go to the fair?”
Scootaloo blew a raspberry. “Come on, that’s boooorrrriiing. Let’s do something fun!”
Featherweight wracked his brain trying to come up with something his new special somepony would enjoy. He eventually came up with an idea so stupidly brilliantly in its simplicity, that it could cause every male from Trottingham to Canterlot to facehoof at their own collective idiocy.
“I dunno, what do you want to do, Scootaloo?” is an example of a sentence Featherweight would come to regret if he uttered it. It was also, coincidentally, the first thing he said.
Scootaloo rubbed her chin ponderously and hummed. She quickly perked up and buzzed her wings in excitement. “I got it!”
Featherweight smiled. I am the luckiest colt in the world! This is going to the best day ever.
Featherweight wasn’t sure what happened. One minute, he was in front of Scootaloo’s house, elated at having organized a date with the filly of his dreams. The next thing he knew, he was sitting behind said filly in a flimsy red wagon, precariously balancing over the edge of Ponyville’s largest hill, cheerfully christened ‘Dead Griffon’s Drop.’
Featherweight shivered as a sharp gust of wind blew against him. He looked over Scootaloo’s shoulders to get a view of the trail and felt sick to his stomach. His vision blurred as panic gripped him, and he was quickly forced to look away from the nearly ninety degree drop.
“Uh… a-are sure t-thi—?” Featherweight grumbled as his helmet fell over his eyes, and he hastily pushed it back up. “Are y-you s-sure this is a g-g-g-good idea?”
“Sure,” said Scootaloo. “C’mon, who do you think you’re talking to? I do this all the time, no sweat…”
Whoo, that’s a relief.
“…Of course, I never got to try this on a hill as high as this. This is going to be AWESOME!”
Not surprisingly, Featherweight suddenly felt less reassured.
“You ready, squirt?” asked Scootaloo with a slightly deranged look in her eye. “On three. One…”
“Uh… Scootaloo.”
“…Two...”
“I don’t think this is a good ide—”
“THREE!”
Scootaloo rocked forward; the wagon lurched over the edge, and like Featherweight’s hopes of living, plummeted. Having lost his senses, Featherweight did the only thing he could think of.
He hugged Scootaloo with all his might and held his breath
The torrent of wind was deafening, creating a vortex that felt like it was sucking Featherweight into an abyss. He felt like he was riding a jackhammer, as every single pebble or grain of sand sent the wagon shaking furiously, clattering his teeth and sending his neck into a wobbling mess.
It was like he was floating through a water painting; through his tears, the streets and buildings looked like a swimming messes of colors and swirls cobbled together by a haphazard artist with a peculiar fondness for yellow.
But despite the pain in his rump, despite his bones crumbling into dust, and despite being lost in a madness of speed and vertigo, when Featherweight saw Scootaloo, her face glowing with pure joy and excitement, he smiled.
“WOO HOO!” cheered Scootaloo.
Featherweight couldn’t help but get swept up in her excitement “YEAH!”
The agonizing rocking lessened into light bumps; the blurred tapestry melted away to reveal a village speeding by them; and the bile rising in his throat was replaced by a wave of adrenaline that shot through his veins like a bolt of lightening.
“Woo, this is awesome!”
“Right!?”
The wagon shot past the bottom of the hill and into the town square. Featherweight saw the tents of the Hearts and Hooves Day Fair growing larger and larger in front of them.
“Hey, Scootaloo!?”
“Yeah!?”
“How do we, you know, stop!?!”
“…”
“...”
“Stop?”
Uh oh.
Featherweight snapped his eyes forward just in time to see ponies dive out of the way of their wagon. Scootaloo and Featherweight’s screams of excitement turned into ones of terror as they burst through one of the fair’s tents and flew through the carnival, destroying everything in their path.
“Hold on, Featherweight!”
Featherweight didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped Scootaloo’s head like his life depended on it.
“Featherwight, you’re covering my eyes! Let go!”
“NO!” screeched Featherweight as they burst through a flower stand, sending roses flying in every direction.
“Then move your legs so I can see!”
“You’re face is, like, eighty percent eyes! LOOK OUT!”
The wagon tore through a purple tent. Everything was a blur as their metal death-trap bounced back and forth before ripping its way out.
Featherweight wasn’t sure what happened, but he suddenly found himself with three large milk bottles stuffed in his mouth.
Oh, I think I’m gonna be sick.
To and fro, the world was a swirl of chaos as the wagon bounced from tent to another, sending ponies scrambling away. At one point, Featherweight could have sworn that Scootaloo’s mane was covered in cotton candy.
BOOM
Featherweight’s bones shook at the sound of the massive explosion, but before he had the chance to register what was going on, one of the wagon’s wheels popped off.
Scootaloo and Featherweight were flung forward and sent soaring into the air when the wagon flipped. Gravity, feeling especially mean that day and not above harming children, sent the two plummeted towards the unforgiving ground below, shrieking as they went.
Well, this is it, thought Featherweight morosely. Wait, I’m a pegasus! I’ll just flap my wings and—“OOF!”
Before he could finish his thought, the would-be flyer got a mouth-full of dirt.
“OOF!” he repeated articulately when a big orange lump landed on his back.
“Urrgghh…” groaned the big orange lying on him. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about this big orange lump made it feel different from all the other big orange lumps he had previously seen or had on top of him in his extensive life. Something set it apart. Maybe it was the purple hair. Or the way it smelled so pretty. Or how warm it felt. But whatever the case, Featherweight felt blissful while having the big orange lump on top of him. More so when the big orange lump opened its eyes to reveal two wide white and purple ovals right in front of his face. Featherweight smiled as he felt the big orange lump’s breath tickling his snout. The big orange blob then turned into a big blushing lump, but Featherweight didn’t care.
Everything was just super-duper-uper dandy to Featherweight.
“Featherweight!” cried the big orange lump.
Featherweight giggled. Big red/orange lumps weren’t supposed to talk.
“Featherweight, say something!”
Featherweight giggled again and tried to hug the big orange lump, but missed and rubbed his hoof all over its purple mane instead. Featherweight was ecstatic to see a big blue lump appear out of the corner of his eye. He smiled even wider.
As far as he was concerned, the more lumps, the merrier.
“Rainbow Dash, thank goodness!” said the big orange lump. “I broke Featherweight.”
“Yeah, I saw that fall you guys took,” said the big blue lump. “He looks like he hit his head pretty good there. Don’t worry, squirt. I’ve taken enough smacks to the ole noggin to know he’ll snap out of it. Just give it a second.
“Pretty big blue lump,” slurred Feathwerwight. “Why… why you do this?” Then he giggled and rubbed the orange lump some more.
“…Okay, looks like he might have gotten hit harder than I thought. Don’t worry, kid, I’ll handle it.”
Featherweight felt himself being lifted up as the big blue lump filled his vision. But before he had a chance to hug the big blue lump as thanks for being so big and blue, he felt something smack him upside the head.
“Ouch!” he cried. He opened his eyes to see that the big blue lump slowly focused into Rainbow Dash, who was holding him in her forelegs. “What was that for?”
Dash unceremoniously dropped Featherweight back on the ground. Before he could say anything, he felt something fuzzy wrap around him.
“Oh thank goodness!” came Scootaloo’s muffled voice from behind.
“Yup, works every time,” laughed Dash, wiping her hooves. “All righty then, you two lovebirds try not to get hurt.” Rainbow sped off, leaving the blushing colt and filly to awkwardly avoid eye contact.
“So… that was… fun?” said Featherweight lamely. LOVEBIRDS!?
“Uh… yeah…” replied Scootaloo, who probably was thinking the same thing.
Featherweight rubbed his nape as the two of them stared at the ground, the sky, the tents around them, and just about anywhere else but each other.
“Erm… listen Scootaloo, I—”
Scootaloo cut the suddenly awestruck colt off by quickly leaning forward and tenderly pecking him on the cheek.
Featherweight gaped at Scootaloo, who was grinning bashfully and blushing furiously.
“Huh wha I har gerah?” slurred Featherweight.
“I-I… I-I-I k-kinda… like you,” mumbled Scootaloo, answering Featherweight’s question.
“Guh?” asked Featherweight, who was still working on that whole ‘regaining brain function’ thing.
Scootaloo took a shaky breath. “I said, I kinda… like you..”
“Huzzwha?”
“I said I like you!” Scootaloo shoved her hooves in her mouth and darted her eyes frantically.
Featherweight smiled a smile that stretched so far it looked like it hurt. She likes me!
Scootaloo socked him in the shoulder, hard. “Stop grinning like that!” she giggled ambivalently through a blush that was permanently etched on her cheeks.
Featherweight did no such thing, and Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You’re such a goofball. Now come on.”
This is amazing! thought Featherweight as he got up. His cheeks were starting to hurt, but he couldn’t care less. She likes me. She likes me! Nothing could ruin this da—
Scootaloo cut off his train of thought by shoving her flushed face up to his. “Oh, and if you ever tell anypony I said that I liked you, I’ll tie you to my wagon and push you down Dead Griffon’s Drop again. Got it?”
Featherweight nodded fearfully, and Scootaloo continued on her way. Once he was sure she wasn’t going to beat him back to death, Featherweight’s smile returned back in full force.
She said she likes me again!
Lyra was getting her cotton candy all over Bon-Bon while the two made out with a kind of ferocity generally reserved for wild predators, while Berry Punch sat next to them on a broken bench looking bored.
Off in the town, which it was worth noting was in total shambles, ponies ran around in a panic at the havoc wrought by Scootaloo and Featherweight. Speaking of which, they were, despite their near death experience, once again tempting fate by sitting before the precipice a second time, giggling and blushing at one another.
Pinkie Pie carried a teddy bear twice her size as she and and Jorge wandered out of town, talking amicably and ignoring the carnage around them.
And finally, Roseluck and Carrot Top lay in the middle of the fairgrounds passed out. It was difficult to discern why they were passed out, but presumably it had something to do with the giant purple lizard with green spikes and Rarity throwing ice cream at one another a few feet away.
Dash hovered over the town taking all of this in, doing little more than blinking in confusion as her brain tried to process what lay before it, eventually coming to a final, absolute truth.
The train station was quiet the morning after Hearts and Hooves Day; everypony was either working, or had taken the day off to rest after the celebrations. It was conspicuously empty save for a single group chattering amongst themselves on the platform, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Only two days prior, Luna had arrived to Jorge’s home and informed him that his presence was needed in Canterlot. While he had wanted to spend most of yesterday reading about the city and about local politics to prepare himself for the trip, fate had… other plans.
In any case, after some hasty preparations the human now found himself on the platform of Ponyville’s modest train station, waiting to board the obscenely bright locomotive. Luna had to return to attend to some last minute preparations, so it fell on Twilight and her five friends to accompany him to the capital. Jorge was confused as to why they needed to come. He recalled them being called ‘The Elements of Harmony,’ so it was clear they held some importance, but he had never asked. Still, considering he had managed to make up with the six mares, he was rather relieved to have some company on the trip to the mysterious city, particularly Applejack and Fluttershy.
Well, he had managed to make up with most of the six mares. Rainbow Dash still remained thoroughly ticked and suspicious, and made no effort to conceal the fact. That was fine by Jorge; she could brood to herself as much as she wanted so long as she didn’t piss him off as far as he was concerned.
The six mares were chatting excitedly among themselves, each one mentioning what they were most excited about doing in Canterlot, with Rainbow Dash occasionally shooting Jorge a dirty look. The Spartan was content to leave the girls to their conversation, and stand quietly off to the side…
“Pleeeeeaaaase.”
…at least he would have if not for one minor snafu.
“For the last time, I’m not taking my whole armor off just so you can lick my hands, Lyra!”
“Pleeeeaaaaaase!”
Jorge brought his hand to his forehead and sighed. I’m getting the strangest sense of déjà vu.
Yes, much to Jorge’s annoyance, Lyra was to accompany them on their trip. It turns out Luna had heard from someone in town that the mint-green unicorn was the premier human expert in the country (this partly due to the fact that she was the only human expert in the country), and decided to bring her along. Now Jorge was left contemplating a seven hour train ride being stuck with the hyperactive hand-fetishist.
“Lyra, leave Jorge alone,” admonished Bon-Bon, who had accompanied her marefriend to the station. “Now, let’s go over it one more time.”
Lyra sighed theatrically. “But Boooon-Booooon, we went over this a million times! Besides, Jorge is about to let me lick his hands!”
“I said no such thing…”
“You see!?”
Bon-Bon stared flatly at her lover. “I don’t care, let’s start. *Ahem,* do you have your ticket?”
Bon-Bon tackled Lyra and submitted the now-suffocating unicorn to a bone-crushing hug.
“Bon…Bon…can’t…breath!”
“Why do you have to go!?” wailed the candy maker as she matted her marefriend’s fur with her tears. “I-I thought you l-l-loved me!”
“Jorge…h-h-help!”
“What if something happens to you!? WHAT IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!?!”
“You’re…doing…a good job…making sure…that…happens,” wheezed Lyra, her form slowly going limp and her face turning turquoise.
Confident that the two mares would solve their little scene with only minor injuries, Jorge quickly made his way to a less crowded part of the platform.
Meet the world, huh? Jorge’s eyes wandered to the locomotive, and scowled. What is she playing at?
“Hey, are you okay?”
Jorge turned around to see Twilight staring at him in concern. “Just peachy,” grumbled the Spartan. “What’s it to you?”
“I’m just asking, Jorge,” she assured. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
Jorge snorted and said nothing.
“What’s up with those two?”
Jorge glanced to where Twilight was pointing. Lyra was still being hugged to death by Bon-Bon, and yet to make any progress in breathing if her purple face was any indication.
“Bon-Bon…I’m not…doing that….here!” she wheezed.
“PLEASE!!! It may be the last chance we ever get! I promise we’ll be quick. Nopony’ll even notice!”
Jorge shrugged. Twilight rolled her eyes and headed to board the train. “Well we’re leaving in a couple of minutes, so please tell them to hurry up,” she said before retreating into the locomotive.”
The Spartan shook his head to himself. He felt a light tapping against his leg, and looked to see Lyra looking up at him expectantly. Despite bruises all over her body, she was still brimming with cheer.
“So, all aboard?” she chirped.
“What was all that about?” asked Jorge, nodding to where Bon-Bon was being restrained by a pair of burly stallions, desperately trying to reach out to the mint-green unicorn.
“Oh, that? S’no big deal. Bon-Bon was just a little bummed out about me leaving so she asphyxiated me before trying to ravage me on the platform. You know, the usual.”
“The usual? Is that…normal?”
“Yeah, we pretty much go through this whenever I have to travel. You should have seen her last Hearth’s Warming Eve when I tried to visit my family in Manehatten for the holidays. We were actually arrested for public indecency!” Lyra chuckled jovially as if recalling a fond memory. “Well anyways, we should probably get going; Beebop and Horse Power are never able to hold her off for too long.”
Lyra meandered up into the carriage that Twilight and her friends had entered. Jorge quickly followed, trying to tune out the pleading cries of Bon-Bon. However, when he hefted his boot onto the step ladder leading up to the carriage, the foothold was torn off with a chillingly shrill screech. Jorge stared at the mangled piece of metal wrapped around his boot, then at the conductor. The poor stallion felt a fly buzz into his mouth as his jaw hung limp from his ghost-white face. Jorge just ignored the terrified pony and wiggled his foot until the twisted steel ladder clattered onto the floor. Then he stepped onto the carriage itself, causing the whole thing to lurch menacingly under his weight. If the conductor hadn’t been on the verge of wetting himself yet, he certainly was then.
Fortunately, as the carriage was about to fall onto the Spartan, it found its balance and fell back onto the rails with a teeth-chattering shake. As the ponies tried getting their heart-rates under control, Jorge casually squeezed his way through the far-too-small door like nothing had happened.
The inside was certainly a sight to see.
Luna had explained that Jorge was too heavy to take via flying carriage, so they were going to have to travel by train. In order to avoid a fuss (and partly because Jorge was too big to fit into a regular carriage) the Princesses provided the group with their private, Royal Train Carriage.
And ‘Royal’ was an apt word to describe it.
Whereas Jorge’s house was elegant in its simplicity, this carriage was better described as gaudy in its extravagance.
The interior of the carriage appeared to Jorge to be a miniaturized version of the Hall of Mirrors of the Palace of Versailles. A chandelier two sizes too big to comfortably fit in the confines of the room swung precariously from the ceiling, reflecting beams of light from the many crystal candlesticks that drowned the room in a sea of yellow. The windows were adorned with various precious gems, which, rather than complement the carriage's golden décor, clashed with the whole interior. Finally, the carriage was lavished with all manner of silk cushions and pillows.
In truth, the whole scene looked like a painting from another age. A once picturesque and breathtaking image sullied by the passage of time, the carriage gave the appearance of a fossil. Perhaps at one point it would have been considered beautiful, but today the most it could aspire to would be to cause most interior designers to gouge their eyes out.
Yet, despite being an affront to modern sensibilities, it did not stop Lyra from being captivated by its luster.
“Oooooooooooooooh,” crooned the unicorn, her eyes sparkling almost as much as the carriage itself. “Shiny.”
Jorge did not share the unicorn’s sentiment. As soon as his eyes were assaulted by the visual regurgitation that was the Royal Train Carriage, the human couldn’t help but cringe. I can see why Luna mentioned they stopped using this thing, he thought with a hint of despair. The prospect of spending the hours in a train with Lyra was bad enough, having to do so in what could accurately be described as the tackiest room on the planet was the very epitome of non-Slipspace-Drive-related-torture.
Jorge groaned and sat cross legged in a corner of the room away from the excited mares who were chatting on the cushions. The train lurched forward with a screech.
The human stared out the window, watching as the countryside on the other side of the stained glass whipped past at a surprising speed. It wasn’t long before the cottages and hamlets that surrounded Ponyville gave way to rolling prairies and expansive seas of green nothingness. The chatter from the girls subsided until they were all lost in their own thoughts.
Applejack and Rarity were chatting with one another, both awkwardly trying to avoid eye-contact. Fluttershy was napping; her wings twitching in what could be described as the single most adorable thing ever witnessed by a human. Both Lyra and Twilight were passing notes about humans, each debating on their own theories that they forgot could be answered by simply asking the only human in Equestria, who happened to be sitting no more than seven meters away from them.
Jorge silently gazed at the mares in front of him for a little while, before standing up and stepping out of the carriage without a word. The roar of grinding steel stabbed his ears. He ignored it though, and leaned on the railing which lined the platform, letting the powerful winds wash over his face. A bright flash of color out of the corner of his eyes drew his gaze upward.
The multi-colored blur whipped across the sky, doing somersaults and loops over the train before heading for the platform. The wash of colors slowed down to reveal a cyan pegasus landing onto the train.
Rainbow Dash stretched her wings until they elicited a loud *pop*. With a content sigh, she let her feathery appendages hang limply before tucking them back into her body. That’s when she noticed Jorge staring at her with interest.
“Oh, it’s you,” she grumbled, narrowing her eyes.
“You’d be surprised how often I’ve been greeted like that lately.”
Rainbow Dash snorted derisively. “What are you doing here?”
“Just here to get some fresh air.”
Dash’s glare lingered on the human, before she mumbled something and continued her stretching. The two stayed silent, the pony cracking her limbs and the human gazing towards the horizon.
“You say something?” she snapped suddenly.
Jorge remained still, the line along his lips creasing like cracks spreading through stone.
“Whatever.” She flapped her wings until she was face to face with the human. “I heard what happened at the library,” she said matter-of-factly.
Jorge said nothing.
“Let me just say this now, so it’s all clear, kay? If you ever hurt any of my friends, I’ll pound you ‘till you’re nothing but paste. Got it?”
Jorge still stayed silent for a few minutes, before a condescending grin parted his face. “How’s the eye?” he asked, no shortage of mirth in his voice.
Rainbow blushed and unconsciously rubbed her right eye. The grinding of her teeth could probably have been heard from a mile away. “It was a lucky shot!”
“I very much doubt that. Now let me be clear with you. I understand that you are upset with me; in all honesty I would be too. But that is done. Your Princesses and friends have already accepted that, and I suggest you do the same. I have no quarrel with you.”
Rainbow Dash landed onto the platform and walked back into the carriage, muttering something along the lines of, ‘when earth-ponies fly,’ as she went. The stubborn mare slammed the door shut, and Jorge shook his head and followed after her.
The human took the same place he had before, patiently waiting for the train to arrive to his destination. He found his helmet among the luggage, and quickly slipped it back on. Going through his audio files, he decided to play some music to pass the time. J.J. Johnson’s trombone flowed through his helmet, soothing his ears and relieving the tension in his muscles. By the time Ben Webster’s Solitude was played, Jorge had finally been able to relax.
Hoping to get some sleep, he concentrated on the gentle rocking of the train. Every once in a while the carriage would hit a small bump, jolting the Spartan upward. Fortunately, these were few and far between, and didn’t disturb his peace. Taking a deep breath, he quickly grew accustom to the rails clicking as steel glided over steel. In a couple minutes he had it synched up like clockwork.
*Click*
*Click*
*Click*
Bump
*Click*
*Click*
*Click*
Bump
*Click*
*Click*
*Click*
Bump
*Click*
*Click*
*Click*
*BOOM*
The carriage rocked violently, sending Jorge sprawling onto the ground.
What the hell!?
Jorge opened his eyes just as he heard someone shout ‘INCOMING’. There was a loud shriek, and the world felt like it came to an end. The human’s eardrums burst in pain as the sound of tearing metal and sizzling flesh crashed against his body. Screams could be heard over the chaos as he was thrown across the carriage like a ragdoll in an inferno. A final crash, dwarfing anything he had felt before, hit the carriage with a vengeance, and everything went black
Jorge groaned. His eyes blinked lazily, trying to get used to the sudden change of lighting. In the back of his mind he could hear an echo calling his name. Coming too, he realized that he was a far cry from being in any train carriage.
The walls and ceiling were entirely made of steel. Sparks fell from wires ripped out of the walls. Jorge’s looked down to the seats lining the walls, and his heart skipped a beat. His brain desperately tried to process what his widened eyes were seeing, but it was a futile endeavor.
Humans. Human corpses littered the floors.
That’s when it hit him.
He was inside of a crashed Pelican.
“Noble Five. Noble Five. JORGE!!!”
Jorge looked up to see a blue, armored figure standing over him, gripping an assault rifle in an unnaturally thin hand.
“K-Kat?”
“Jorge, get up!” ordered the female Spartan. “Were pinned out there, we the need big guns.” She gestured to the HMG lying at his feet.
“M-my gun? B-but… how… Kat what the hell is going on!”
“Jorge we don’t have time for this, they’ve already started glassing the damn planet. We need to leave, NOW!” She grabbed his arm and forced him up. Seeing Kat’s robotic arm briefly snapped Jorge out of his shock, and he shook his head clear. Still horribly confused, he picked up his ever-reliable HMG and climbed out of the wreckage of the pelican, careful to avoid stepping on any of the corpses.
When he got outside, he came face-to-face with a living hell.
The blackened sky was bleeding fire onto the surface. Hundreds of purple ships hung menacingly among the ash, raining death.
Ranging from Super-Carriers to Banshees, the fleet coated the sky in a veritable sea of purple. In the glow of the burning planet, the vessels were awash in sinister, crimson glow that sneered mockingly at Jorge.
The massive ships hanging above the planet pounded the charred wasteland below them with blinding plasma beams. Banshees screeched across the sky, swooping down on terrified marines on the ground or ruthlessly hunting down fleeing Pelicans. Only a handful of the troop carriers were able to escape the slaughter, the rest bloomed into terrible showers of fire and molten metal. The covenant ships flew uncontested, rolling down any feeble resistance in a wave of destruction. There was not a single human ship fighting back.
To call such a massacre a battle would be a horrendously cruel joke.
Jorge managed to tear his horrified gaze from the blood-red sky and towards the firefight raging before him. He saw that the rocky, arid terrain was littered with corpses. Hundreds of them, all splayed out along the road, each with the same expression of utter agony. The Spartan’s nose burned with the sickeningly thick stench of plasma and seared flesh.
A jade explosion snapped Jorge out of his daze. His ears stung, and his shield flared as shrapnel peppered him. Up ahead he could see a squad of marines taking cover behind a meager group of boulders. Sprinting as fast as he could to join them, Jorge has greeted with a familiar face.
“Glad you could join us, big guy!” greeted Emile as his shotgun rang, obliterating the Sangheili that had gotten too close for comfort.
Before Jorge could respond, Kat appeared at his side. “Noble Five, we need to lay some suppressing fire on those damn brutes!”
Jorge nodded before clicking the safety of his gun off and opening fire. The massive firearm vibrated nicely as the nearby brutes suddenly found themselves being peppered by a hail of lead. They roared in pain as the bullets pierced them indiscriminately.
Once he was satisfied that the aliens weren’t getting up, Jorge turned to the female Spartan next to him. “Kat, what the hell is going on! Where are Carter and the others? Where are Noble Six and Jun?”
“Jorge, what the hell are you talking about? They’re all M.I.A, remember!?”
Jorge’s insides froze. “WHAT!?!”
A nearby plasma bolt from a low flying banshee caused them to duck. A second Sangheili snarled and opened fire with a plasma rifle. The nearby marines screamed in pain as they all fell. Some were writhing in their own entrails, crying and begging for a medic. Most stayed still.
Jorge, who’s armor suffered the bulk of the elite’s attack, trained his gun on the alien and opened fire, splattering purple gore against a nearby boulder.
“What do you mean M.I.A!?” he yelled, turning his attention back to his fellow Spartan.
“Don’t you remember? Carter was killed in New Alexandria, Noble Six was forced to stay on the Super-Carrier to activate the Slipspace drive, and Jun’s been missing since Swordbase!”
“Noble Six… Slipspace drive? No… that’s… that’s not right.”
“Plasma!”
Kat and Emile dived away as a plasma grenade landed right in front of Jorge. The Spartan instinctively activated his armor, letting the familiar feeling of heat wash over him as the explosive detonated.
Wiping dust off her visor, Kat approached Jorge in a low crouch.
“Jorge, I don’t know what’s the matter with you, but we do NOT have time for th-”
A bolt of energy rung out of nowhere, piercing Kat’s helmet and washing the air in a mist of red. The female soldier’s body fell limply onto Jorge.
“Kat!” cried out Emile. He dove for cover. “Fucking sniper!”
Jorge looked down at his comrade’s body in shock. A loud, familiar humming noise rang out throughout the battle field, and suddenly all the shooting, all the explosions, all the wanton death and destruction, it all stopped. Jorge looked around in confusion. Kat’s body had disappeared and Emile was nowhere to be found. Everything had washed away. All that remained were the bodies of dead marines and the humming, which was growing louder and louder.
Jorge looked up to find himself standing right under a supercarrier. Its silver belly had opened, and was glowing blue. Before Jorge could react, a tower of plasma energy shot out from the covenant vessel. The world slowed for the Spartan as the plasma hit him and slowly melted the flesh from his body.
He had just enough time to let out one more garbled scream.
Jorge bolted upright with a loud yell. Cold sweat poured down his brow, and his heart thumped in his chest like the dull thuds of a sledgehammer hitting rubber. As his eyes darting around frantically, he could see that he was in the royal train carriage, with crystal chandelier present and all. Forcing himself get control of his breathing, he noticed that there was a white dot directly in front of him on his motion tracker. He looked down to find an alabaster unicorn leaning away from him warily.
“Oh! I’m terribly sorry, darling,” said Rarity. “Were you asleep? I couldn’t tell with your helmet.”
“It’s… it’s all right,” sighed the Spartan. Just a dream. Just a dream. “I wasn’t having a very pleasant dream anyways. Did…” He swallowed. “Did you need something?”
“We just wanted to know if you wanted to play with us.”
Jorge looked up to see the six mares all sitting around a small table, each holding (or in some cases, levitated) seven playing cards, with a small deck in the middle. Most of them were looking up at the human expectantly, save for Rainbow who continued glaring at him.
“No thank you,” grumbled Jorge.
“Ah, well, what a pity,” conceded the unicorn.
“Ah leave him alone, Rarity,” said Rainbow with a wave of her hoof. “Dumb lug’s probably afraid to get his flank kicked.”
“Rainbow!” gasped Twilight.
Jorge scowled at the cocksure pegasus. “Is that a challenge?”
“No, it’s a fact.”
Jorge glowered at the pegasus before sighing again and looking at his feet. It was just a dream… just a dream. The Spartan took one more deep breath to calm his still jangled nerves. I suppose I could use a distraction after that.
Jorge entwined the fingers of both his hands and stretched his arms out, letting them crack loudly. Standing up, he loosened his muscles before making his way over to the table. “Alright, I’ll play.”
Lyra quickly dealt him seven cards, and Jorge carefully folded them upward, being sure not to lift them from the table. This elicited a few puzzled looks from the ponies, but they didn’t say anything.
“Wait a minute, what are we playing exactly?” asked Jorge.
“Go fish,” answered Lyra.
“Are you serious?”
“Pfft, come on!” whined Dash. “We’ve been playing go fish for the past hour. Can’t we play something less lame?”
“How ‘bout Buffalo Poker?” suggested Applejack.
“Awww yeah, I’m awesome at that! Then again, what I am I not awesome at?”
“Modesty?” deadpanned Rarity.
“I’m sorry, I don’t exactly know what ‘Buffalo Poker’ is,” pointed out Jorge.
“Don’t worry, you’ll catch on quick,” encouraged Twilight. “Just be sure to take off your helmet before we play though.”
Jorge complied before passing his cards back to Lyra, who deftly shuffled the deck with her telekinesis and passed out three cards to each pony. It turned out that ‘Buffalo Poker’ was essentially identical to Texas Hold ‘em; only rather than having a hand (or hoof) of two cards, each player was dealt three cards. The game began, and Jorge saw that right off the bat he was dealt two aces and the queen of hearts.
It seemed like Lady Luck had finally decided to smile upon him.
The games flew by as quickly as Lyra could deal them, and soon Jorge was able to push his thoughts away from the nightmare. Much to his relief, it seemed that ponies had tells when bluffing the same as humans. In fact, judging from the way some of the players were twitching and ticking, ponies bluffed with less subtly than a train crash.
Applejack’s was the easiest to spot. The cowpony fidgeted with her hat every time she lied, and soon everyone had picked up on it. Yet it didn’t make all that much of a difference since she rarely bluffed anyways. Rarity’s and Twilight’s were no less glaring, but judging from everypony’s play styles Jorge had been the only one to pick up on them. Twilight bit her lip, and Rarity batted her eyelashes. Lyra, much to Jorge’s dismay, glanced at his hands whenever she bluffed. He made a mental note to have a long chat with the unicorn about boundaries concerning his appendages. Rainbow Dash’s was at first difficult to notice, but Jorge eventually deduced that it was the occasional ruffle of her wings. This, however, was only partly true, as it was only most of the times she lied that the aggressive speedster did this.
Pinkie and Fluttershy were the hardest to figure out. As far as Jorge could see, they had discernible tells. Fluttershy hid behind her bangs and shrunk away too much to get a proper look at her, and Pinkie Pie…
Pinkie Pie… well… she… she was just all over the place.
From giving hollering cheers whenever she got a good hand, to sighing or grumbling ‘shoot’ whenever she was dealt poor cards, the pony sometimes had no tact whatsoever. Other times she wouldn’t even say anything, halfway through the round a part of her body would start twitching violently, and suddenly it would be as if she had read everybody’s mind. Even Jorge had trouble keeping up with her at first, leading to her dominating the first few rounds.
Eventually though the Spartan managed to adapt to the pony’s erratic playing style, and before long he found himself winning game after game.
“Ugh! Four of a kind, are you kidding me!?” screeched Rainbow Dash in frustration. She angrily threw her pair of Jacks of the table and glared at the human. “That’s it! There’s no way you’re not cheating.”
“Maybe you’re just not a very good player,” said Jorge as he calmly shuffled the cards. Lyra had gotten tired of dealing, so he volunteered to take over. The human could have sworn he saw cracks trailing up the pegasus’ pearly whites as she shook with rage.
“FORGET THIS!” she yelled. “I’m done playing with this freak!”
“Rainbow Dash!” cried out Rarity, aghast.
Dash didn’t listen. She stormed out of the carriage as fast as her hooves could carry her while still keeping balance in the swaying cart.
“DASH, YOU GIT BACK HERE RIGHT NO—” But before Applejack could finish, the pegasus slammed the door of the carriage as hard as she could, and took flight. Everypony gaped at the door, save for Applejack, who simply scowled to herself. Fluttershy was shivering under the table, terrified by her friend’s sudden outburst; the way her body constantly hitting the furniture was causing the cards to rattle.
“What was that all about?” asked Lyra.
“Well… Dash has always been competitive,” pointed out Twilight weakly. “Maybe she was just angry she lost?”
“Come on, Twi. When have you ever seen Dash that upset?”
“Applejack has a point, darling. I’ve seen Dash lose plenty of times, and I’ve never seen her so miffed. There’s something else going on here.”
The group fell quiet as they contemplated their friend’s aggressive behavior. The only sound heard in the carriage was the rattling of the coffee table, which gradually dissipated as Fluttershy stopped trembling and climbed up from under it.
“I don’t feel like playing anymore,” growled Jorge as he threw his cards on the table and stood up. “Thanks, by the way.” The Spartan made his way over to the window and stared out. As soon as his eyes wandered upward, his arms fell limp to his sides. His jaw slackened slightly, causing his lips to part ever so slightly. The human gawked out the window before he finally found his voice.
“Excuse me, Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“This Canterlot we’re heading too, would it happen to a white city hanging from the side of a mountain?”
“Yes…why?”
Jorge didn’t answer right away. Instead, he kept his eyes intently glued on the massive white structure that was hanging precariously over them. His eyes traced the smooth marble of the city’s platform, scanning the masterfully crafted marble buildings which glowed in the warm daylight. The colorful banners that gently waved in the wind were like water paintings, gently spreading their hues across the blue sky. Spires rose from the platform, as if all the words in a fantasy novel came together and stretched up to the heavens in the most picturesque fashion possible. Ribbons of water flowed down from the top, its folds waving back in forth as they slowly descended into the lake below.
“Because I think we’re already here.”
The train came to a screeching halt at Peaking Dawn Station late in the afternoon. Wisps of steam gently rose from the tracks as ponies descended from the carriage, and either greeted their waiting relatives or hurried to whatever appointment in the city they had pending. Whatever their motive may have been, almost every single one of the passengers took a moment to steal a glance at the contingent of guards waiting at the station. The soldiers’ steely gazes never once faltered as the crowd dispersed.
Once the station had become relatively quiet, no easy feat considering it was the most used station outside of Manehatten or Trottingham, the Elements of Harmony descended onto the platform. As soon as Jorge stepped off the carriage, the whole thing rocked precariously as if alleviated of some great strain.
The group was quickly approached by one of the soldiers. It didn’t take them a second glance to recognize who it was.
“Twiliy!”
“Shining!”
Twilight and Shining Armor embraced each other eagerly, the former nuzzling the latter fondly.
“What are you doing here?” asked Twilight as she stepped back and smiled jovially.
“I’ve been tasked by the Princess to escort you guys to the castle personally.” Shining puffed his chest out and lifted his chin rather proudly. Twilight was amused to see that despite being commander of the entire Royal Guard and practically a prince, Shining still took pride in something as comparatively mundane as escorting her and her friends to the castle.
“Howdy there Shinin’,” greeted Applejack. “Sure is mighty fine tah see you again.”
“Same here Applejack!”
“Yes, it’s always a pleasure to reacquaint ourselves to such a fine gentlecolt,” said Rarity with a toss of her mane.
Much to her surprise, Shining lifted her left hoof and brought it to his lips to give an awkward, sloppy kiss. While the formal gesture was unfamiliar to the upstart Prince, Rarity still found it endearing enough to giggle like a schoolfilly and blushed slightly. This quickly elicited an eye-roll from the cowpony next to them, and a raspberry from Rainbow Dash.
Putting the unicorn’s hoof down, Shinning greeted the rest of the group, pausing at Lyra to properly introduce himself. As his eyes passed over Jorge however, the Royal Guard’s smile lowered to a flat expression.
Jorge offered Shining his hand, bending his knees slightly to allow himself to reach slightly. “I’m Jorge, pleasure.”
The pony looked down at the behemoth’s metal hand with a cold look in his eyes. While the commander of the Royal Guard was able to keep himself from betraying much emotion, Jorge noted that the pony’s lips twitched slightly as he looked up at the human.
“Likewise,” grumbled Shining, turning away and ignoring Spartan’s greeting.
Jorge’s eyebrows arched in surprise, but he said nothing.
“Come on everypony, the Princesses are waiting for all of you back at the castle,” announced Twilight’s brother, his previous cheer returning to his voice. “Guards, form up around the human and the Elements!” The stallion’s words breathed life into the immobile soldiers, who almost instantly snapped to attention and formed a tight perimeter around the mares and Jorge.
“By the left. Quick. March!”
The mares quickly scrambled forward as they found themselves being forced to move by the quick paced marching of the guards behind them. Rainbow Dash floated above the group as they quickly walked through the entrance of the station and through streets of Canterlot.
If there was one word Jorge would use to describe the city, it would be ‘spotless.’
Not just in terms of cleanliness, although as far as he could tell there was not a spot of filth on the alabaster city, but in terms of everything.
From the infrastructure, to the way the residents composed themselves, there was a certain order to the urban sprawl that was almost surreal. From what little he had heard about the city, Jorge discerned that it was ancient; yet rather than being a cluttered mess of intergenerational architecture and hasty urban planning, the whole thing appeared as if it had been planned meticulously a mere few decades ago.
However orderly the streets were though, it did not detract from the extravagance of it all.
Massive marble statues rose up from the ground as if born of the earth, exuding a kind of grandeur that could inspire awe in even the most jaded person. The colorful spires and towers, which already had looked fantastical from the train, now looked down-right impossible; as if their mere existence was an affront to the basic tenants of architecture and physics.
The ponies were no less flamboyant than the city they resided in. Whereas most of the residents of Ponyville choice to wander the streets naked, something Jorge had come to assume was the norm for the species, it seemed that those kinds of ponies composed a minority in Canterlot. Almost every single pony there was wearing some article of clothing. From simple tuxedos, to multi-layered gowns topped with hundreds of feathers, it all reeked of materialistic bourgeois to Jorge.
The passersby all stopped to gawk at Jorge, but surprisingly did nothing else. While one or two quickened their pace when they caught site of the human, most didn’t react more violently than quirking an eyebrow or whispering to a companion.
The group continued marching through the streets, chatting idly with one another, or, in the case of Rainbow Dash, trying to garner some sort of reaction from the stoic guards who were escorting them.
“So how are things back in Ponyville, Twiliy?” Shining grinned at his sister. “How was your Hearts and Hooves day?”
Caught off guard by the question, the lavender unicorn coughed awkwardly. “Oh, you know…it was okay,” she said airily, as if she was trying to think of a way to change the subject (which, incidentally, she was). Shining noted her sister’s behavior but decided not to tease her about it, at least not yet anyway. “I’ve been really busy. How are mom and dad?”
“Still looking for a grandfoal,” replied the stallion wearily.
Twilight giggled. “Yeah, that sounds like them.”
“But I mean every time I see them that’s all they talk about!” Shining sighed. “You know they’re gonna start pestering you about it soon, right?”
“Looks like there are perks to living in Ponyville,” said Twilight, jabbing her brother playfully in the ribs. “I’d like to see them before heading back.”
“I… I don’t think you’ll have the time, Twily.”
Twilight glanced over her shoulder before moving close to her brother. “What is going on here, Shining?” she whispered harshly. “Two days ago Princess Luna shows up at my library out of the blue, telling me we all need to head to Canterlot with Jorge immediately, with no explanation whatsoever. I’ve sent dozens of letters to Celestia, but she hasn’t answered!”
Shining looked over his shoulders, narrowing his eyes when they spotted Jorge. “She’s been busy, Twily. We all have. I don’t think Cadey’s slept in days, and Princess Celestia’s been coming and going so much I can’t even tell where she is half the time.”
“You mean…from the castle?”
Shining shook his head. “I mean from Equestria. Seriously, I don’t think she’s been on this many diplomatic missions since when Luna was banished. You know how stressful it is losing the pony you’re supposed to protect? It’s been total chaos since that thing showed up.”
“Thing?”
“You know… the human?”
Twilight looked at her brother with concern. “You mean Jorge?”
“Yeah,” scoffed Shining before glancing over his shoulder at the Spartan. He moved closer to his sister and raised his hoof as if to shield his words. “Are you sure we can trust it?”
Twilight recoiled from her brother. “It is a he, Shining,” she admonished. “And why in the world wouldn’t we be able to trust him?”
“Because, first off, it’s a human, and second, we don’t know anything about it. Who do you think debriefed the guards that went to your library the night it showed up? The chimp’s dangerous.”
“That was a misunderstanding! Granted, he did almost kind of commit regicide, but he apologized!”
Shining snorted derisively. “Whatever.”
Twilight continued staring at her brother critically. “Well?”
“Well what?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You still haven’t told me what this is all about.”
Shining opened his mouth, ready to say something, but had second thoughts. “I think Princess Celestia would rather tell you herself.”
The two stayed quiet after that as the group quickly made their way through the dense city, the guards cutting a swath through the crowds like they were air. Before long bystanders wandered away, and soon the group found themselves standing before the massive castle Jorge had seen from the train.
The streets and buildings spread as if they were sprung from the palace. Like roots from a tree, the rest of the city looked like it had grown outward from the massive fortress. The castle itself looked just as whimsical up-close as it did from a distance, with fairytale towers that looked like they could house dozens of Rapunzel’s, stretching towards the sky. Without even pausing for a break, the guards ushered the unimpressed ponies and Jorge forward. The human was perplexed with the way someone could find such a sight so mundane, but disappointedly followed along through the entrance nonetheless.
The group passed through a sprawling courtyard that lead up to the castle proper; foliage, statues, and even a hedge maze dotted the sparsely populated field. To his right Jorge could see a group of ponies trotting around in circles and climbing through a makeshift obstacle course. Upon closer inspection, the human got a nagging sense of nostalgia in the back of his head.
That’s when he realized that they were doing drills.
All it took was one glance at the semi-terrified faces of the ponies and of the barking superior in armor screaming orders at them to realize that these were fresh recruits of some sort of training. The sight brought a warm feeling to his chest. Even though they were ponies, it was still one of the most familiar sights the human had seen since his arrival, and he quickly felt a bout of homesickness wash over him. He would have loved to stay and watch, but unfortunately he was ushered past a pair of sentinels through the doors of the castle. The group marched through a huge hall until they came before one of the largest doors Jorge had ever seen.
“Wait here,” ordered Shining before walking through one of the servants’ doors that lined the corridor.
The ponies did as they were told, waiting patiently for Twilight’s older sibling to return. The already frayed mares began to feel jittery, shifting on their legs and whispering to one another. Jorge and the Royal Guards stayed stoic, but even from under his helmet the human was feeling a tad anxious.
“Where are all the petitioners?” asked Rarity, as if suddenly gripped by the insatiable desire to crack the awkward silence.
The rest of the girls looked around the room, just noticing that the long line of ponies waiting to have an audience with Celestia was now unusually absent. Before the mares could further inquire on this, Shining promptly returned.
“Alright, the Princesses see you now,” was all he said before a pink lightning-bolt erupted from his horn and struck the door. The main entrance glowed briefly, before groaning deeply. The massive door came to life as it slowly shifted; making painful grinding noise that rattled everyone’s bones. Hidden, rusted gears, which hadn’t moved in centuries, twisted and spun as they struggled to get the hundred ton slab of metal to swing inward. The crack slowly widened, and Jorge stepped through, and into what he simply described as the greatest ‘Great Hall’ he had ever been in.
The walls were adorned with dozens of stained glass windows, each depicting a crucial moment in Equestrian history. The light streaming through the glass, bounced against the marble floor until it resembled a kaleidoscope. Huge banners flowed from the ceiling, which itself was painted to look like the night sky. Dozens of constellation that Jorge didn’t recognize sparkled over them.
This was The Royal Throne Room.
While Twilight and her friends had been in this room many times before, it felt peculiarly more imposing that day; as if the air was tainted with a sense of gravitas not felt before. The Royal guards melted away, leaving Shining, the Elements, Lyra and Jorge on their own. The mint-green unicorn was particularly awestruck, her jaw refusing to rise even after they had starting moving towards the thrones that lay on the opposite side of the room.
Jorge could see that there were three of them, all resting atop a small platform reached by stairs: One in the center, composed of gold and with a headboard that resembled a peaking sun, flanked by two smaller seats. The one on the right was a dark blue, fitted with silver and sapphires. Its headboard was that of a crescent moon, seemingly made of platinum. There rested Princess Luna, who looked down at the group with stony eyes. The Moon Princess glanced over at Jorge, and her frown tugged up for a fraction of a second before dropping again. The third throne, like its occupant, was rose colored. It rested to the left of the center seat and was entirely made of pink marble. Its headrest was that of giant, ruby heart.
The alicorn who sat upon it was much smaller than either Luna or Celestia. While Jorge had trouble making out the ages of ponies, it was evident that she was much younger than her peers. Ever since he first stepped into the room, the pink alicorn pierced Jorge with her fiercely inquisitive gaze. Even as he stood right in front of her, she made no effort to conceal her burning curiosity. Her eyes felt as though they pierced right through his visor, and were able to stare deeply into his own.
Jorge found it deeply unsettling.
“Welcome, Elements!” announced Luna. “I am deeply grateful that you were all able to come on such short notice.”
“It’s our honor, Princess Luna,” said Twilight before bowing deeply. Everyone present followed suit, lowering their heads and closing their eyes respectfully; everyone, except Jorge, who remained conspicuously still.
“Bow,” ordered Shining when he noticed the human.
Jorge said nothing, and made no effort to do anything of the kind.
“I said, bow!” exclaimed the stallion. By now all eyes had turned to Jorge. The pink alicorn leaned forward with interest.
The Spartan glanced down towards the Prince briefly, before looking up at Luna. “I’m not the bowing type,” he answered, artificially nonchalant.
By now Shining was almost frothing at the mouth with rage. “These are the royal rulers of Equestria, and you will show respect when in their presen—!”
“It is fine, Prince Shining,” announced Luna, raising her hoof to stop the stallion. “Jorge is our guest, and thus has no need to follow such formalities.” Her voice however, was tinged with profound displeasure.
Most ponies stared uncertainly at each other, not sure what to make of thee display. Shining was still practically growling at Jorge but remained silent, while Rainbow glared at the human. Twilight and Applejack shook their heads in disapproval.
“Now, I am certain you are all exhausted after such a long trip. We have prepared a room for each of you, which Shining Armor will be more than happy to escort you to. I insist that you rest and wash up before dinner this evening.” Luna nodded to Shining, prompting him to start leading everyone out of the throne room.
“Hold on a second,” said Jorge. “That’s it? We came all this way, just so you could tell us to get ready for dinner?”
“I am sure you have many questions,” said Luna coolly. “I promise you that my sister and I shall explain everything tonight. Please Shining, show them out.”
“Yeah, no, not good enough. I did not just spend the last seven hours on a cramped train carriage to come all the way here and be told that I’ll soon be told what the hell is going on.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed in anger. She stood up from her throne and approached the human, wings flaring slightly and horn bending forward. “You may be a guest, but this is still my castle and I am still its ruler. You will do as you are told.” Each word was punctuated with a level of hostility that caught Jorge off guard. He hadn’t seen the Princess this aggressive since their little… kerfuffle when they first met. The way the blue alicorn was poised was almost as if she was gearing for a fight.
Better get that chip off your shoulder real soon, honey, thought that Spartan as his palm instinctively grazed his pistol, something which was not lost on the Princess. “Look,” began the soldier slowly, trying to diffuse the vexingly abrupt hostilities. “The last time you and I talked, all you told me was that I ‘needed to meet the world,’ whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean, and that I needed to come to your capital urgently. I had no idea why, and had almost no information on what was going on. Yet, despite being virtually blind, I still came as a gesture of good faith. Now expect some return on that gesture. All I want to know is why, and I’m not budging until you tell me.”
Rather than calm the Princess down like Jorge had intended, his little speech seemed to aggravate her further. She bared her teeth into a growl, and he could see sparks starting to from around her horn. Time froze as both the super soldier and the alicorn stood before each other. The air around them turned electric as the rest of the world faded from them. Jorge wrapped his thick fingers around the grip of his pistol; ever-so slowly, he began to pull it out of its holster-
“Excuse me?”
Both Jorge and Luna snapped their heads up. The pink alicorn had stood up from her throne, and was looking down at both of them with pursed lips.
“We understand your frustration, Mister Jorge,” she began in a soothing voice. “Had we been in your position, then we surely would not have been as cooperative as you have, and we thank you for your patience. Now we ask you, if you please, to be just a little more patient.”
She continued gazing at Jorge with her piercing eyes, waiting for his response. The Spartan stared back, his eyes going every single one of her features, and doing hundreds of calculations. After a few more tense seconds, his muscles relaxed as the pistol was slipped back in its holster, and he stood down. He saw Luna blink rapidly before quickly doing the same. She looked up at Jorge briefly and returned to her throne. Jorge was surprised to see shame and regret tinged her eyes.
“P-Prince Shining, you may show our guests their rooms,” ordered the blue alicorn in a shaky voice. “Rarity you may stay, I must talk to you for a moment.” The white unicorn looked at her friends uncertainly, and approached the throne once more.
Shining hesitated for a moment, seemingly wanting to say something, before nodding and leading the ponies and Jorge out of the throne room.
Jorge looked over his shoulder one last time, only to see the pink alicorn still staring straight at him, before the massive doors closed between them.
“Oooh, what’s that!?”
“That’s a rug. Gifted to Celestia from Saddle Arabia as a peace token after the battle of Gallopoli”
“Oooh, what’s that!?”
“That’s a pre-celestial vase, crafted thousands of years ago.”
“Oooh, what’s that!?”
“That’s a container full of Bubble Flowers from the Everfree For-”
“Oooh, what’s that!?”
“That’s a-”
“Oooh, what’s that!?”
Shining Armor, Jorge, and Lyra walked through an empty corridor in some unknown part of the castle. The other mares had been left at their rooms long ago, and the trio had been walking together for little over half an hour.
As nice as it looked, there was one downside to the massive castle; namely, that it took the group an eternity to find each room. Constant twists and turns left everypony disoriented, save for Twilight, who explained that she had gotten used to it as a filly. How anypony could get used to the labyrinth like structure of the palace’s interior was beyond her friends. Soon excitement waned and tempers flared, as exhaustion and frustration took it; prompting Rainbow Dash’s vulgar exclamation of, “why does somepony need so many bucking rooms!?” Needless to say, almost everypony was left at their room tired and more than a little annoyed.
Yet, much to everyone’s dismay, the long walk through the castle’s interior had no effect on Lyra’s incessant yammering.
“Oooh, what’s that!?” asked Lyra for the five-hundredth time. The petit green unicorn seemed to have no shortage of energy or curiosity, and unlike her companions (maybe with the exception of Pinkie Pie), who had quickly grown tired and sluggish, she bounced along as vigorously as she had two hours ago when they started their journey.
Shining’s teeth grinded against each other viciously, and his right eye twitched. Pinkie Pie was one thing, but this was an entirely new level of torment.
Jorge felt a twisted sense of satisfaction at watching the rude stallion being annoyed so brutally. This however, barely alleviated his growing frustration with the mare.
“Oooh, what’s that!?” asked Lyra again without even waiting for an answer. Both males groaned reflexively. Equestria had been an exercise in patience for the Spartan, and he’d like to think that it was one he had excelled at…for the most part at least. But everybody has a limit, and at that point Jorge was seriously considering pressing the muzzle of his gun against his temple and pulling the trigger. Instead, he stumbled upon a less messy, albeit a much, much less pleasant, solution.
“Oooh, what’s tha—!?”
“Lyra,” interrupted Jorge. Lyra closed her mouth and stood at attention for her favorite human. “Lyra, if you stay totally quiet until we find your room then I’ll let you…” Jorge sighed in defeat. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. “…I’ll let you… lick my hand.”
Lyra immediately froze the moment his words registered. Her pupils became pinpricks, and a deranged grin parted her face. Shining looked at the two like they had gone insane, but said nothing.
“Really?” whispered the mare, afraid that if she spoke too loud it might shatter the truth of what she just heard.
Jorge nodded morbidly, and Lyra began to quiver with excitement before jumping up and hugging his face.
“Lyra!” yelled Jorge, prying her from off of him. “Totally. Quiet.”
Lyra nodded enthusiastically before putting on a serious face and giving a mock salute. Shining glanced between both the human and the unicorn for a few seconds, trying to process what just happened, before giving up, rolling his eyes, and continuing. Amazingly enough, Jorge’s incentive was enough to silence the unicorn, and she stopped inquiring about the castle’s décor even after they resumed their journey.
Finally, sighed Jorge mentally. Peace and quie—
“And here is your room, Miss Lyra,” said Shining armor, gesturing to a door not ten meters from where they had just stood.
Jorge stopped in his tracks and stared dumbly at the stallion handing Lyra the keys to her room.
“Thank you so much Mister Armor. You sure are a great tour guide.”
Shining gave a forced smile and nodded. “It was my pleasure. Thank you for being such a… uh… curious guest.”
Lyra smiled at that and stepped into her room. “Bye Jorge! I’ll see you tonight at dinner. Oh, and don’t forget your promise~” she said in a sing-song voice as she closed her door. The aforementioned human said nothing. He just continued to gawk at the door that had just shut trying to wrap his mind around the last two minutes of his life. Then, ever so slowly, he brought his palm up to his face, and forcefully pushed his palm into his visor.
“Are you coming or not?” asked Shining Armor gruffly. The Spartan stayed quiet. Making sure to continue pressing his palm against his visor, he raised his free arm and lifted one his index finger in a ‘just one second’ gesture. Finally, after three straight minutes, Jorge lowered his hand, and completed the mother of all facepalms.
Shining snorted at the odd display and continued cantering down the hall, with a suddenly much more miserable Jorge in tow. After only a minute, they quickly arrived at a blue door that was much larger than the others.
“Here,” grumbled the stallion as the levitated a teal key to Jorge. He quickly spun around and walked away without another word.
Jorge looked down at the small key, which looked comically out of place in his enormous hand, before looking up to the retreating Prince. “Thanks for the help, Chuckles,” he called out.
Shining looked over his shoulder and glowered at the Spartan before rounding the corner.
The human unlocked the door to his new quarters and stepped in. The room was well furnished, providing a king-sized bed, a dresser, a desk, and even a small living room area complete with coffee table, couch, and a fireplace. The decor was nice enough, with dozens busts and portraits of what looked like Minotaurs; even a pair of horns hung over the head of the bed. It looked like an executive suit in a five star hotel, only with a much homier feel. What surprised Jorge the most about his new temporary home was the scale. Everything was larger than it was supposed to be, almost as if it was distorted. It looked like it was designed to house something much larger than the average pony, or human for that matter.
Despite its oddities though, Jorge was definitely not complaining. After managing to push the thoughts of Lyra licking his hand out of his head, he went to inspect the bathroom. As he stepped into the white tiled room, he saw the one thing he was hoping to see: the first shower in weeks that could actually accommodate him.
Without wasting any more time, Jorge began the tedious process of removing his MJOLNIR. Bit by bit the armor came off, until his pale body was completely exposed. He moved under the shower head, and turned the faucet as far as he could, sighed contently as the scalding water soothed his tired muscles.
God, I needed this.
As he stood under the torrent, his thoughts drifted back to his nightmare. A chill ran down his spine despite the hot water. Vague visions of gore and covenant shimmered in his vision, his breathing becoming labored as his memories haunted him.
The Spartan shook his head violently, pushing the images out of his head.
Reach is fine. We stopped the attack. We destroyed the supercarrier. Hell, I destroyed the supercarrier. Reach. Is. Fine
Calming down, he returned his thoughts to the water massaging his body, but all the pleasure was gone, and no matter how much he raised the temperature he still felt cold. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.
Great, the combat shrink would have a field day with me.
Once he finished washing, Jorge stepped out of the shower into a veritable steam room. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom, letting a cold draft hit him. He was surprised to find Rarity standing in the middle of his room, completely oblivious to his presence. What was even more surprising still was that she was levitated a piece of his armor, inspecting it closely.
“What are you doing!?” barked Jorge.
The white unicorn jumped in surprise, dropping the component with a dull thud.
“I-I’m t-terribly sorry,” she stuttered. “W-when I knocked the d-door swung open and I-I…”
Jorge didn’t pay attention to what she was saying. He stepped forward and picked up the piece of armor that she had been handling. It was one of his Grenadier Knee Pads.
“What were you doing with this!?” he snarled, eyes ablaze with fury. Rarity shrunk back from the enraged human.
“I-I-I was just l-l-looking… I d-didn’t do… I-I didn’t m-mean t-to…”
Jorge examined the piece of armor energetically, twisting and turning it in an attempt to find even a tiny fragment out of place. When he was satisfied that everything was in order, he carefully, almost reverently, put it back on his bed. He then turned his fiery gaze to the nervous pony.
“Never. Touch. My. Armor,” he seethed. Rarity nodded furiously. The Spartan continued glowering at the unicorn for a few more tense seconds, before snorted and turning back to his bed. Piece by piece he reassembled and donned his armor, largely ignoring the still shaken mare who stood awkwardly to one side.
“Jorge…” squeaked Rarity meekly. “I… I’m sorry.”
Jorge paid her no heed. Rarity however, pressed on.
“I knocked and… and the door just swung open, and your armor was lying on the bed. I-I just wanted to take a look; I didn’t mean to break it or anything of the sort.”
Jorge sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. He looked back at the mare, who looked positively miserable. The Spartan groaned to himself and turned to face her, only half clad in his armor. “It’s… fine, Rarity.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, just… please don’t touch my armor. I cannot stress how important it is to me, and if you do it again then I don’t think I’ll be as forgiving.”
“Understood,” declared Rarity, looking noticeably better. “And again, I apologize. What I did was unbelievably rude and rather unbecoming of me. I promise to make it up to you somehow.”
“That’s not really nece—”
“—GASP!!!— Ideeaaaa! Oh I have the perfect thing for you in mind” she gushed, eyes sparkling.
Jorge rolled his eyes and got back to putting his armor back on. “What are you doing here anyways?”
“Hm? Oh, yes! Now I remember. I’m here to get your measurements. The Princess wants me to make something more formal for you tomorrow.”
“And you tell me that after I put on my armor?” deadpanned the soldier, gesturing to his now fully dressed body.
Rarity laughed sheepishly. “I suppose today isn’t my day, now is it?”
“Should I…?”
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want you to have to go through such a fuss again. I’ll just take your measurements now with it on.”
Jorge looked at the unicorn skeptically. “Are you sure that’ll be accurate?”
“Are you doubting my ability, darling?”
“Yes.”
Rarity huffed indignantly before levitating her measuring tape and wrapping it around one of the Spartan’s thighs. “I’ll ignore that. Believe me; I know what I’m doing. How thick is your armor exactly?”
“Thick.”
Rarity inspected the measurement she took from the human and suddenly looked less certain. “Oh my. Well I’m sure I’ll find some way to manage. Although it might turn out a little big…”
“Are you sure you’re even qualified to do this?” asked Jorge. “I doubt you’ve suited many other humans before.”
“I know! I’m practically relishing the idea of working on this. Finally a real challenge. It’s not simply about finding the right color schemes or complementary fabrics. No, now I actually have to find a way to modify it for a completely new body type. Ooh I’m so excited!”
The remark failed to inspire confidence in Jorge.
“All done,” announced Rarity after a couple more measurements. “See, that wasn’t so painful, was it?”
That’s a matter of opinion, mused Jorge.
“Don’t forget about dinner this evening by the way. The Princess said that somepony should come around your room around nine to take you to the dining hall,” explained Rarity, pointing to a nearby grandfather clock in the corner. She rolled out her measuring tape, and started heading out. “You’re going to look so marvelous in your new ensemble!”
“You do realize that I’m not going to wear it, right?” pointed out Jorge. In truth, the human had just let Rarity measure him in order to humor her.
Rarity gave out a hearty, delicate laugh. “Oh I think you will,” she teased before closing the door behind her.
Jorge wasn’t sure why, but there was something in her tone that filled him with a mild sense of dread.
Deciding to take advantage of the time he had before dinner, he splayed himself on the couch, and rested his eyes.
Jorge opened his eyes lazily. Blinking slowly, he groggily stood up and shook his head. The room was exactly as he had left it before he slept, save for the fire, which had petered out and died.
Putting on his helmet, he checked the nearby grandfather clock and noted that it was already ten past nine. He opened the door to his room and checked the hallway; it was completely deserted, the only sound coming from the ticking of the clock in his room. Deciding that it would be best to wait for whomever they sent to get him, he closed the door and sat back on the couch. But as time went by, it quickly became apparent that no one was coming. By quarter to ten the Spartan had had enough.
He walked out of his room, locking the door out of habit, and inspected the hallway one last time; it was just as empty as always.
“Perfect,” he grunted. Taking a right, he tried going back the way he came in a vain hope that he could find a way back to the dining room. Twists and turns abounded, and every single hallway looked identical to the last. At one point the Spartan was convinced he had gone in a massive circle, but the décor was so repetitive that he had no real way of knowing. After almost twenty minutes of mindlessly wandering through the castle corridors, he had to admit to himself that he was lost. Strangely enough, the more he walked the dirtier the halls appeared to be getting.
Eventually he passed through a dilapidated doorway, the door itself comprised of rotted timber hanging from rusted hinges, and entered into another cavernous hall. Unlike the others he had been to that day however, it was evident that this room hadn’t seen maintenance in hundreds of years.
The room resembled that of a castle in those old twentieth century movies; cobwebs hung from the ceiling, more abundant in number than the bricks they were strung from. Dust covered every inch of the cold stone floor, so much so that it made Twilight’s basement look as sterile as a hospital room. What little furniture populated the room was decrepit and falling apart. The worst though were the shadows: Gaps of darkness in what little moonlight streamed through the filthy windows, creeping across the floor and walls like sharp claws ready to grasp whatever poor soul walked within their grasp. As his massive footsteps sent empty echoes bouncing along the hall, Jorge couldn’t help but feel a slight chill run down his spine, as if there was something supernatural about that place.
Alright, if I don’t find the bloody dining room in the next ten minutes, I’m going to start trying to break through these walls.
“Need…talk…”
Jorge froze. He thought he heard a voice coming from behind him. Checking his motion sensor, he saw that there was nothing there. He remained still for a few moments before shrugging it off and continuing.
“What…it”
There was no denying it; he had definitely heard a voice that time. He crouched down slightly and pulled out his pistol. Marching silently ahead, he tried to pinpoint the source of the noise; a difficult feat considering the echo made it sound like it was coming from all directions at once.
As he slowly exited the hall and entered another dusty, web-ridden corridor, the voices got louder.
“…I just wanted to talk about this human, your highness.”
Jorge saw a weak light flickering through the bottom crack of one of the doors. Careful not to make any sound, the Spartan moved into a deep shadow a few feet from the slab of wood with surprising nimbleness, and listened.
“What about him, my Prince?” asked a mysterious voice. It took Jorge a couple seconds, but he soon concluded that it was Celestia.
“I don’t trust it, your highness. I believe he is a security threat and I urge you to have him under more intense supervision, considering what happened at the library…”
“Your request has been noted. Do not worry; I personally vouch for the human. I do not believe he will do us any harm. Now, I suspect that Jorge is not what you really came here to talk to us about.”
There was a pause.
“No, it wasn’t,” admitted the first voice grudgingly.
“What is it you wish to discuss?”
“It’s about what’s been happening lately. I am simply wondering whether it was wise for you include a few of the names on the guest list,” replied the first voice, which Jorge eventually deduced was Shining Armor.
“And what names would those be, my beloved nephew?”
“You know what name I’m talking about.”
“Are you questioning our judgment, Shining?” asked a third voice. There was no mistaking it as anyone other than Luna’s.
There was a tense silence before Shining started speaking again in an angry tone. “With all due respect your highness, yes, I am. How in the world could you possibly think that letting her come here is a good idea?”
“We ratified the treaty months ago, Shining,” explained Celestia. “We have called upon her as a gesture of good faith, to show that everything that may have happened is in the past—”
“NO!” burst out the stallion furiously. “After what she did!? To me!? To Cadence !?! It is not in the damn past! That thing, it—!!!”
“We are quite aware of her crimes against our nation, or have you forgotten that I too suffered at her will?” interrupted Celestia, her voice conveying eternal patience. But while her volume may have been subdued, she carried a firmness that Jorge had seldom heard before. It was a tone that could cut steel. “We understand your reservations, and value your opinions, but if you are to come to us again we would appreciate it if you didn’t resort to such vulgarities.”
Nothing could be heard except for Shining Armor’s heavy breathing. Eventually, that too ebbed away. “I-I apologize, your highness,” he eventually professed. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Rise, dear nephew. As I have said, I truly understand where you are coming from, and I do appreciate your telling me. Now please, go to the dining room and tell the others we are going to be a little longer.”
“Yes Princess.”
The door opened to reveal a small study bathed in candlelight. While the light illuminated the hallway, it was too weak to reach Jorge’s still shrouded corner. Unlike the rest of that part of the castle, this room was completely spotless. Inside stood Celestia and Luna, both looking at the exiting Shining expressionlessly. Shining armor meanwhile looked deeply ashamed.
“Oh, and Shining?” The white stallion turned around to face Celestia, who gave him a faint smile. “Try to enjoy this evening.” The Prince nodded once, before walked back down into the darkness of the hall and leaving the door wide open.
“Well, that went… worse than I expected,” said Luna once she was sure the stallion was out of earshot. “I’ve never seen him that upset. The way he yelled at us…”
“I honestly expected it to go much worse,” admitted Celestia with a sigh. “This whole affair has been a mess. How have you been holding up, Lulu?”
The Spartan gleefully made a mental note of the pet name.
Luna looked down at her hooves in disgrace. “Not very well.”
“Cadence told me what happened today in the throne room.”
“Then you know how I’m doing.”
“I want to hear it from you,” Celestia said softly.
Luna took a shaky breath. “What is there to say? I almost attacked him. Knowing full well that he may have killed me, I still sought out a confrontation with Jorge. And it took my niece to show me how much of a fool I was being.”
“But why, Luna?” asked Celestia sympathetically.
Luna shut her eyes. “Organizing this meeting… the way the nations reacted when I invited them… we were frustrated, Celestia!” she cried out. “It hath been nigh over three years since we were cleansed of the Nightmare, and the world still treats us like some foul beast from the depths of Tartarus. Even our allies shunned us when we approached them until you beseeched them! Even… even our ponies, our subjects whom we love and nurture, even they treat us as a monster.”
Luna sniffed and looked back down at her hooves. “When Jorge was defiant we… I got so angry… so frustrated.”
Celestia nuzzled her sister, who gladly relished the contact. “I’m sorry, Celestia… about you having to travel so much just to organize this.”
“Please Lulu. You have no need to apologize for the ignorance of others.”
“Celestia do you… do you sometimes regret bringing me back from—?”
“No.” The white alicorn firmly grabbed her sister’s face and looked her straight in the eyes. “I will never regret bringing you back to me, Luna. You are not a monster.”
Luna smiled demurely at her sister. “Thank you, Tia,” she whispered with a nuzzle.
The two stayed like that, enjoying each other’s embrace. However, the touching scene was soon interrupted by a loud rumbling noise. Celestia backed away from Luna in surprise, who was blushing in embarrassment.
“Sounds like you’re famished,” laughed the white alicorn.
“So it seems. Shall we go to dinner?”
“You go ahead; I have some business to finish here.”
Luna gave her sister a skeptical look, but shrugged and disappeared down the hall. Celestia kept her gaze fixed on the blue alicorn until she was embraced by the corridor’s shadow. After a few minutes, she took a deep breath.
“You know, it’s rude to eavesdrop,” she said without turning her gaze.
Jorge’s heart skipped a beat. He felt a block of ice plummeted into the pit of his stomach.
“You can come out now, Jorge,” continued Celestia. “There isn’t much point in you hiding in the shadows anymore, now is there?”
Jorge reluctantly stepped out of the darkness’ sanctuary.
“I’m not used to being spied upon,” confided the Princess, with no trace of malice or anger in her voice.
“I’m not used to being caught. How long have you known?”
“Since Shining armor opened the door. Had I not been preoccupied I may have known sooner. My sister must truly have a lot on her mind; she normally would have spotted you half a kilometer away. Darkness is more her element after all. How much have you heard?”
“Only enough to raise more questions than answers.” Jorge lowered his head slightly. “I suppose I picked a bad time to eavesdrop.”
To the untrained eye, Celestia’s expression would have appeared to have remained the same. But Jorge noted her jaw-line tighten and the corners of her eyes crease.
“Indeed,” she began, her voice remaining neutral. “I would have preferred you not had listened in on such an intimate moment.”
Jorge nodded. “I apologize. I assure you I won’t bring it up.”
“That is much appreciated.” The pony tilted her head slightly. “What were you doing here? I doubt you had come all the way to spy and us.”
“I was heading to dinner and got lost.”
Celestia stared at the human intently for a fraction of a second, before bursting out in laughter. Her guffaws echoed throughout the corridors, momentarily brightening the dank castle.
“Is something funny?” asked Jorge in a playful tone.
“I’m sorry. It’s… —ahem—… it’s just that after we met, my sister and I got a somewhat apotheosized idea of you. Knowing you got lost is just a little juxtaposing.”
“It’s not my fault your castle is a bloody maze,” snorted the human. “How’s the horn by the way?”
“It’s fine, thank you.”
“Sorry about that.”
“My dear human, there is no need for you to apologize,” asserted Celestia with a dainty wave of her hoof. “On the contrary, it is I who should be apologizing to you.”
“What’s say we just let bygones be bygones?”
Celestia smiled warmly at the proposition. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time. Now, shall we go to dinner? The others must be frightfully worried about us by now.”
“Lead the way, Tia.”
“Say that name again,” began Celestia in a voice as sweet as honey. “And I’ll banish you to the moon.”
Jorge didn’t know why, but he just had to chuckle at that.
“S-so you really eat m-meat?”
“Yes I do.”
“O-oh… have you eaten any since you got here?”
“Ha, I wish. But don’t worry; I have no intentions of going out hunting for any of your pets any time soon.”
“Thank you…”
Much to Jorge’s amazement, the walk back to the dining room from the study had only taken a couple minutes. He wasn’t sure whether the Princess was using her magic to purposely screw with him (if magic could even do that), or if they had really been that close to it the whole time.
He was pretty certain it was the former.
In any case, they quickly found their way into the massive, brightly lit dining hall (Jorge was starting to have the sneaking suspicion that the castle was entirely composed of redundant corridors and halls).
The six ‘Elements,’ as Jorge noticed they were being called, were all seated; as were Lyra, Shining, and Luna. A plentiful sprawl of food rested in front of them, all served to them on golden platters. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, who were having a hard time restraining themselves in the presence of so much food, were thankful for the latecomers’ arrival.
After apologizing for being late and shrugging off inquiries from the others, Jorge found his seat at the end of the table next to Fluttershy, while Celestia went to nuzzle Twilight and apologized to everyone for being absent before doing the same. Much to his chagrin, Celestia insisted that they first eat before discussing why they had been called to the city. Having learned just how on edge everyone had been, Jorge decided to bite his tongue and follow along with the Princess. He had been able to wait this long, why not wait a little longer?
“Is there anything else you’d like to learn about human dietary habits?” asked Jorge while forking in a bite of salad.
Fluttershy fidgeted nervously in her seat while Lyra and Luna both leaned forward intently, eager to learn more about his species.
“Um… what does it taste like?” mumbled the pegasus.
“What does what taste like?”
Fluttershy continued squirming furiously, as if the whole conversation was making her deeply uncomfortable. “Uh… m-meat…”
Jorge’s eyes widened in surprise, while Lyra couldn’t help but look a little disgusted.
“Why do you want to know?” asked the human with a hint of amusement in his voice.
The canary-yellow mare blushed in embarrassment. “Well… some of my little animal friends are carnivores… and I sometimes feed them fish… so… I was just a little... um…. curious…” As she spoke, Fluttershy gradually fell into a whisper and hid behind her mane. “You must think I’m a bad pony…”
“Of course I don’t think you’re a bad pony, Fluttershy,” assured Jorge. “You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and it’s perfectly natural to be curious.”
Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile bashfully at the compliment, her blush lessening to a soft hue.
“You got the hots for her or something, big guy?” teased Lyra, nudging him. Fluttershy’s blush returned in full force, and she returned to the sanctuary of her mane with a squeak.
Jorge though, was unfazed by the accusation. I’m getting the feeling ponies have some sort of cross-species fetish. “Well what’s not to like? She’s kind, gentle, good with animals, and has a very pretty mane.” The more he talked, the more Fluttershy blushed and shrunk in her chair. Meanwhile, just about everyone else at the table had stopped what they were doing to gawk at the human. Even Lyra, who had just been kidding around, was looking at him in shock.
“…unfortunately,” continued Jorge. “I’m already engaged to be married to Pinkie Pie. Isn’t that right, sweetie?”
“Yuppers!!!” chirped Pinkie ecstatically. She hopped onto the table and gave Jorge a big, wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek. The human had to grit his teeth to keep himself from cringing.
“Hardy har, Pinkie,” said Applejack with a roll of her eyes, while everyone else chuckled lightly at Pinkie’s supposed prank. “Real funny.”
“I’m not kidding, Applejack,” assured the Pink pony. “Jorge gave me this super-pretty wedding band when he proposed.” Pinkie raised his hoof to reveal a glittering, orange and pink bracelet on her hoof with her cutie-mark engraved on it.
Silence. Everypony’s eyes bugged out of their skulls. Even Jorge was staring at her in shock.
“WHAT!?!” shouted Rainbow Dash in horror, pretty much summing up what everyone was thinking. “WHA- I- HUH-JUST… when the buck did this happen!?”
“Hearts and Hooves Day,” stated Pinkie plainly.
I knew I should have prepared those forms! thought Luna.
The table looked at each other with various degrees of shock. Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor looked disgusted. Applejack, Twilight, Rarity and Luna gawked at Jorge with gaping jaws. Fluttershy just shrunk further at the commotion, while, curiously, Celestia looked like she was trying to suppress a smirk. Most troubling of all though was Lyra, who looked like she was staring and Pinkie with a mixture of surprise and jealousy.
“My… uh… darling. I’m so happy you could find such a… uh… unique fiancé,” said Rarity uncertainly. “Should I get started on your wedding dress?”
“That would be super-duper, Rarity! Thank.”
“What!?” shouted Dash again. “Pinkie you can’t be serious! How can you marry Jorge!?”
“Well why not?” asked Applejack. “Ah mean if their… uh… happy or whatever… I s’pose there ain’t nothing wrong with it?”
“You know why not!”
The table quickly erupted into an argument about Jorge’s and Pinkie’s love life, with Rarity muttering wedding ideas to herself under her breath. In the commotion, nobody noticed Pinkie and Jorge grinning at each other. The human leaned up to Fluttershy and gave her a conspirator wink. When Fluttershy caught on to what was going on, she began giggling softly.
“Pinkie!” cried out Dash, slamming her hooves on the table for emphasis. “You’re not really gonna marry him are you!?”
Pinkie’s bottom lip trembled before she burst out in laughter. “Of course not, Dashie!” she guffawed, embracing her friend. “Me and Jorgie were just messing with you.”
The room breathed a collective sigh of relief.
“I mean, we haven’t even gotten to first base yet!”
“That, and we aren’t in a relationship,” pointed out Jorge.
“That too.”
“That wasn’t funny, Pinkie,” scolded Twilight. “And you,” she said pointing to Jorge. “I can understand Pinkie pulling something like this, but you?”
“Believe it or not Twilight, I’m not a hardass all the time,” said the Spartan. “I can be funny when I want to.”
“Yeah, yer just a big ‘ol bucket uh laughs, ain’t you?” deadpanned Applejack.
As everyone settled down, Jorge leaned over to Pinkie Pie. “That went pretty well, but where on Earth did you get that bracelet?” he whispered in her ear.
“What bracelet?”
Jorge started for a moment. “The… wedding band thing you just had on?”
Pinkie looked puzzled at Jorge before giggling and patting his head. “Oh Jorgie, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The Spartan was about to say something before deciding against it. Needless to say, trying to figure the pink one out would result in an ungodly painful headache.
Once the table managed to calm down sufficiently from Pinkie and Jorge’s joke, they all dug into their dessert. Rainbow Dash still glared daggers at Jorge, and the human noted that Shining wasn’t taking too kindly to him either, if the stallions suspicious looks were any indication. Everypony else however, returned to their idle chit-chat, trying to ignore the sense of anticipation that hung in the air.
“That was funny, by the way,” squeaked Fluttershy once everything settled down.
“Thank you,” smiled Jorge. “And I’m sorry; I don’t think I can answer your question. Meat has something of a unique taste. You can’t really explain it.”
And I don’t think I could just tell you it tastes like chicken…
“Oh, that’s alright.”
“So I don’t understand Fluttershy, are you a veterinarian?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, there’s already a veterinarian in the village. I just take care of animals. It is my special talent.” Fluttershy pointed to the three pink butterflies on her flank, and Jorge nodded in understanding.
“I would imagine so given how many pets you have.”
“Oh, I don’t have that many. Most of the critters at my cottage actually live in the Everfree forest. They just come visit me during the day.”
“They’re wild animals?” asked Jorge in disbelief.
Fluttershy nodded meekly.
That’s no special talent, that’s a bloody superpower.
“If you want, you could come to my cottage and help me with the critters,” offered the pegasus. “They always like meeting someone new.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I’m not really good with animals.”
“That’s alright!” assured the pegasus. “You could just come over and help… I mean… if you want to…”
Jorge chuckled. He couldn’t help but find her meekness endearing. “Thank you for the offer. Maybe I’ll take you up on it.” Fluttershy smiled, but before she could say anything a ringing drew everyone’s attention to the head of the table.
Celestia levitated a glass, delicately taping it with her teaspoon to settle everyone down. Once she was sure she had everyone’s undivided attention, she cleared her throat.
“Now that we’ve all enjoyed a hearty meal, and even had a little fun to go with it…” she shot a playful look to Pinkie Pie and Jorge. “… I do believe it is finally time to discuss why I’ve gathered you here.”
“Finally is right,” grumbled Jorge quietly enough that only Fluttershy heard.
“As you’ve probably guessed, this concerns Jorge, and let me stress that it is no small matter.”
Jorge suddenly found himself as the center of attention.
“Jorge, we have already told you that your species is not supposed to exist, at least not to us.” Celestia continued speaking in a passive voice, yet she spoke in a tone that commanded attention. “In our world you are a myth. A thing of fantasy not meant to dwell outside of storybooks.”
“Not very complimentary myths by the way,” groused the Spartan.
“For that I apologize,” offered the Princess humbly. “We had no way of knowing we’d ever meet one of your kind. But in any case, I’m sure you’ve already deduced that ours is not the only sentient species that resides on this planet.”
Jorge nodded cautiously.
“Each species or race is generally comprised of their own sovereign nation state, such as ours is Equestria. This is not always the case, as with the nomadic buffalo who roam the western plains. But this is the exception rather than the rule. Due to our close proximity with our neighbors, both physically as well as economically and diplomatically, you’d be hard pressed to find a part of our culture that hasn’t been in some way influenced by another species, and vice-versa.
“And one such cultural aspect that has been shared by many of our nations is the myth of your species.”
Dread gripped Jorge’s heart as he soon had sneaking suspicion of where this was heading.
“As such, I have convened a meeting with the leaders of almost every species in Equestria so that they may meet you, and come to a decision on how to approach your race.”
Silence whipped through the table, turning the room into a vacuum. Nobody said a thing as they either looked between each other with wide eyes, or to Jorge in order to discern what he may have been thinking.
“A meeting with the world’s leaders?” breathed Twilight. “But that hasn’t been done in over one thousand years since-”
“…The Talos Conference, in order to discuss my possession by The Nightmare. We are well aware of that, Twilight,” interrupted Luna. “Believe me; we understand the significance of this.”
“But… is that really necessary?” asked Rarity. “I mean, yes, it was rather shocking when Jorge first… well… dropped in, but does that really warrant such a meeting?”
“You don’t understand, this isn’t only about Jorge, this is about his entire species,” explained Luna. “We need to discuss the possibility of the arrival of other humans, or other supposedly mythical creatures for that matter. Not to mention the fact that his species is prominent in their legends as well. It would be better if they heard this from our government rather than from a traveling merchant. Especially the minotaurs, who are… particularly touchy when it comes to humans. Finally, and most importantly, there is the matter of curiosity. Every delegate from every corner of the globe is going to want to see you Jorge. You are, for lack of a better term, a wonder of our world.”
The room fell back into silence as everyone retreated into their own thoughts; particularly Jorge, who glowered at his hands quietly.
“Well Jorge? Uh… any doubts?” asked Luna awkwardly.
“You should have told me,” growled the Spartan as he raised his head and glowered at the Princesses.
“We were afraid that had you known you may have refused to come,” admitted the blue alicorn.
“Damn right I would have refused! I’m not going to be put on display like some sort of freak.”
“Jorge, please understand. This was inevitable, they would have found out about you eventually,” explained Celestia, unfazed by the human’s outburst.
“Then you do it on my terms, not by springing it on me at the last bloody second.”
“We are not obligating you to attend the meeting, in fact it isn’t even necessary of you,” clarified the Princess in the most soothing voice she could manage. “This is about your species, not about you. We simply assumed you would have liked to be present. After all, whether you like it or not, you are representing your entire race.”
Jorge remained staring at the table, his face twisted into a furious frown. Everypony was still as they waited for his answer. Luna glanced nervously at her sister, who refused to take her eyes off the Spartan.
“When’s the meeting?” he finally asked grudgingly.
Celestia had to restrain herself from sighing in relief. While it was true that his presence wasn’t necessary, it would make things easier. “Tomorrow afternoon. The leaders will be arriving along with their ambassadors later tonight and tomorrow morning.”
Jorge saw that when the word ‘ambassadors’ was mentioned, Rainbow Dash paled. But he neither cared nor dwelled on it.
“Short notice is one thing…” mumbled Jorge.
“It has not been easy to organize this. This was the best we could do. You will be briefed tomorrow morning. However, because of time constraints it’ll be quite short.”
Jorge hummed but said nothing.
“We suggest you get a good night’s rest,” suggest Luna. Jorge remained silent, and the Princess looked back at her sister helplessly.
“Duly noted,” he rumbled after a moment. The Spartan promptly stood up and headed towards the exit.
No one tried to stop him as he left the dining hall and began meandering through the hallways. Jorge didn’t care that he would most likely get lost in castle’s confusing corridors; he just wanted to be alone. After blindly walking for the better part of half an hour he eventually passed through one of the palace’s many doors and found himself standing on a balcony overlooking the city. Taking a deep breath, the Spartan leaned on the railing and let the fresh our cool his face.
Representative for my species, what a dream come true. He snorted derisively to himself before looking up at the cloudless sky. The inky night was punctuated by thousands of bright lights, all twinkling down on him, completely oblivious to anything that happened on his world. He had to concede that even on his home planet the night sky failed to look as breathtaking.
I wonder which one’s Reach. The Spartan continued staring up into the black void, making sure to examine as many stars as he could in the vain hope that he could distinguish his home. Eventually his mind caught up with reason and he hung his head with a weary sigh.
Probably the one burning the brightest anyways.
The Spartan thoughts returned to the shower took earlier, as visions of Reach burned to glass crept into his mind like vermin. Images from his dreams, the corpses clad in armor sprawled next to burning piles of bodies, were clear as day. He could practically the smell blood and ash as he was overcome with such an unrighteous heat that he was tempted to tear his armor off right then and there.
He felt totally helpless.
The very thought of his home, his friends and family, burning, while he was stranded on an alien planet filled by creatures that feared or hated him made him feel more alone that he ever had in his life.
The thoughts brought him back to his first days in training. He had been too young to remember anything specific, but he could remember feeling alone, scared, vulnerable. Like the world was crumbling beneath him until it gave out and he tumbled into darkness. He could remember wanting to cry, to roll up into a ball and weep until it went away. He remembered the others, just as scared as he was, all wondering what was going on and when it would all end.
But through that mutual fear they grew closer; learning how to work together to survive, to support each other in their moments of weakness.
Here he had none of that. Here his fellow Spartans, his family, were thousands of light-years away dying at the hands of an enemy that believed their very existence to be a blasphemy.
Here he was completely alone.
“Mind if I stand here?”
Jorge snapped his head around in alarm. He was surprised to find the pink alicorn from the throne room giving him a tentative smile. The soldier eyed her with suspicion before turning his back on her.
“It’s a free country,” he rumbled. At least I think it is. “I would suggest you not sneak up on me again.”
“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” The alicorn hung her forelegs over the railing and slumped forward, gazing out into the city. “Pretty isn’t it.”
“Yes, I was hoping to enjoy it alone.”
“Is that why you stormed out of the dining hall?”
Jorge glared at the pony, who went un unfazed, before returning his eyes to the view. “You’re an inquisitive bitch, aren’t you?” The pony didn’t even bat an eye.
“I like to be informed of the things that happen in my kingdom.”
“How many of you damn Princess are there?” asked Jorge, exhaustion evident in his voice.
“Just three. Your name is Jorge, correct?
“Jorge Zero Five Two. And you are?”
“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
Jorge gave the Princess an un-amused look.
“You can call me Cadence,” offered the pink pony.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
The two kept quiet for a while after that, each staring out into the flickering lights of the city. Soon however, a question began niggling Jorge in the back of his mind.
“Why were you staring at me so much?”
Cadence looked at Jorge in confusion.
“In the throne room.”
The Princess nodded and hummed in understanding. “I was… curious.”
The alicorn gave no further explanation, so Jorge went back his musings.
“I’m sorry, by the way,” said Cadence suddenly, grabbing Jorge’s attention once more. “This whole thing must be such a burden on you; having to represent your people so suddenly.”
Jorge sighed. “I’m a soldier, not a diplomat or a politician,” he confided. “I don’t know anything about this sort of thing.” He returned his gaze to the sky. “I was a good soldier too. I knew how to follow orders. Now? I’m at a loss.”
He laughed quietly to himself. “Still, could be worse; could be Emile representing humanity. Now that’s something I’d like to see.”
“Who?”
Jorge shook his head. “Just a friend.”
“I’m sorry,” said Cadence sincerely. “If it’s any consolation, I know what it’s like to be alone.”
“How could you possibly know?” spat the human venomously in sudden anger. “How could you or your pampered Princesses know what it’s like to be away from your family, your people, knowing their dying without anything you could do about it?”
Cadence looked down with sad eyes. “That’s my reality every day.” She took a deep breath. “We’re immortal, did you know?” She looked at the human with piercing eyes. “That means that everyone I know will die. My husband, my friends, Twilight and the Elements, I’ll have to watch them wither away while I stay young. And when the next generation comes, and I make new friends and maybe fall in love again, it’ll happen again.”
She looked up to the moon. “That’s why I think no one knows loneliness more than my aunts. They had each other their entire lives, but when Celestia had to banish Luna to the moon, they were suddenly all alone, truly alone; away from their own family, the only pony that understood them. Watching as everyone else died around them, desperately trying to remember the faces of friends’ centuries old. And they’ve gone through this. So. Many. Times… I haven’t.” The Princess gave another shaky breath and returned her gaze to the human. “It scares me.”
Jorge’s hard gaze relaxed, and he looked at the Princess sadly. “I’m sorry.”
The two stayed like that for a while, both leaning over railing, mulling over what had been said. The moon continued to rise, bathing the balcony in its silvery light. Canterlot sparkled under its rays, like there was something supernatural about the city that caused it to glow in the night.
Jorge looked back at the pony beside him, a small smile starting to tug at his lips.
“So, can Celestia really banish people to the moon?”
Cadence spun is surprise, before noticing Jorge’s expression and smiling. “Yes she can, so I wouldn’t get on her bad side.”
“Too late for that.”
The Princess laughed, and Jorge had to admit that her voice sounded absolutely angelic.
“Listen, would you mind showing me how to get back to my room?”
“Why, can’t you get back yourself?” asked the alicorn in confusion.
“Yeah, the thing is I’m a tad lost at the moment.”
Cadence’s eyebrow rose quizzically before she burst out in laughter.
“Why does everyone find that so goddamn funny?”
Cadence managed to get her mirth under control, and started heading back to the door. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
“So I guess there’s no way I can request they postpone this conference or whatever?”
“After what it took to organize it? Auntie would probably do worse than just send you to the moon.”
“Ah well, I guess we’ve all got to make sacrifices.”
“Believe me, Jorge,” said the Princess, her voice suddenly toxic. “I know perfectly well what it’s like to make sacrifices for this meeting.”
A warm breeze rolled across the castle courtyard. The air had gotten pleasantly warm that night, and had anyone been wearing clothes outside they may have found it stiflingly hot.
Despite this, Celestia shivered.
The courtyard was packed with dozens of her best trained Royal Guards, each armed to the teeth, and so wound up that they jumped at the slightest noise. Both Celestia and Luna kept their eyes fixed on the night sky, not letting their concentration waver for even a fraction of a second. Finally, the tension became too much even for them.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” whispered Luna harshly to her sister.
“What I think is no longer relevant, Luna,” answered her sister stoically. “I have cast the die, now we must pray it rolls in our favor.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “I’d don’t recall you ever being so cryptic, dear sister?” she teased, trying to add levity to the situation.
Celestia didn’t laugh.
“Stalwart, are you sure everything is prepared?” asked the Princess of the Sun, without any trace of the anxiety that was threatening to strangle her.
A nearby stallion in crimson armor nodded. “I assure you your highness we have taken every precaution necessary. Nothing will go wrong.”
Before Celestia could say anything, a pegasus flew over the castle wall and landed in front of the monarchs. ‘They’re here,’ was all he said before taking his place in one of the nearby troops.
Both alicorns’ heads snapped up towards the moon. There, against the giant alabaster backdrop, was a small black dot which gradually became bigger and bigger. The dot grew until a carriage surrounded by a dozen flying creatures became visible. Little by little, the carriage’s features became clearer.
It was black, or rather, ebony. The design at first glance looked streamlined; slick and sharp, perfect for cutting the air. As it got closer, jagged spikes and holes littering the vehicle became evident. Strangely enough, it looked like it was surrounded by some sort of translucent exoskeleton, appropriate considering who it was carrying. It looked similar to the creatures drawing it and to the dozen flyers that escorted it; black, serrated, creatures with a chitinous appearance. In truth, the carriage appeared modeled after them. The only thing that afforded them some appearance of sentience was the black, steel armor and helmets that each one donned.
The entourage landed in the courtyard, and every single one of the Royal Guards tensed and fixed their weapons on the creatures now standing before the Princesses. The flyers quickly spread out and formed a perimeter around their carriage, each one menacingly baring their teeth and hissing as a warning to any foolhardy guard.
Both Luna and Celestia remained stoic as the door to the carriage swung open, and out stepped out a slender, hole-riddled foreleg. From out of the darkness of the carriage materialized a tall, lean creature with green, expressive eyes and sharp fangs hanging from her lips. The strange form’s head was held high as she stepped forward, and all told she strutted with a lethal arrogance that would scream ‘danger’ to any sensible being.
Still, the Princesses remained expressionless.
“Welcome,” greeted Celestia, her voice as commanding as it was neutral. “… to Canterlot. But I’m sure you’re quite familiar with it already, Chrysalis.”
The changeling remained unfazed by the Princess’ quip. “Oh, I most certainly am. Now Celestia…”
Staring at it now, seeing it up close… it was completely different from just fantasizing about it. She felt butterflies in her stomach as her nerves began to charge.
Not that she was going to back out now.
She had always wanted to try this, but her marefriend lacked the necessary equipment. A part of her felt guilty betraying her partner’s trust. She had, after all, promised her lover that she wouldn’t do anything like this.
But if she had to be honest with herself, the guilt only fueled her excitement.
Not that it mattered much though. Her thoughts kept being pushed away by just how BIG it was.
Oh it was going to feel great inside her.
She felt a tingle in her lower regions as she brought her mouth closer to it. When she was but a mere millimeter from the tip she paused, taking the time to breathe in his musky scent. She could tell from the way it was twitching that her breaths were tickling its soft flesh. Now that tingle became of torrent of pressure.
She couldn’t wait another second.
In one quick swoop she took its whole length in her mouth, taking him by surprise.
She practically melted in ecstasy.
She moaned and began sucking vigorously, taking in the orgasmic, salty taste. Gently running her tongue along the entire length, she was briefly tempted to push the whole shaft as far down her throat as she could, but decided against it. Instead, she simply groaned in pleasure and began sucking gently, softly rubbing the salty flesh all the while.
Every time it twitched she couldn’t help but shudder and moan. Picking up her pace, she brought her mouth up and massaged the tip gently before lowering back down. She repeated this a few more times, and the mass continued to twitch in her mouth.
Finally, she lost all pretense of rhythm and began bobbing up and down as fast as she could. She pushed it’s enormous length down her throat and kept it there, gagging slightly before pulling it back out and repeating. The pressure inside her increased, spurring her on. Up and down she went going faster and faster, losing herself in the ecstasy of it all. With one final twitch, he—
“AARG!” screamed Jorge.
The Spartan recoiled, pulling his appendage out of the pony and wiping it furiously on the couch they were sitting on.
“Dammit Lyra! I said you could lick it not try to eat it!” He lifted his spit-covered hand and showed it to the mint-green unicorn. “Look at this, you slobbered all over it,” he complained before trying in wipe the fluids off his fingers on his armor. “You know Bon-Bon’s probably going to kill you for this. I thought you promised her to lay off the human stuff?”
Lyra wasn’t listening. She was splayed across the couch, basking in her afterglow. “Don’t —huff—care. Best—huff—five seconds—huff—EVER!”
Jorge grimaced at the disheveled unicorn lying on the couch. The way she panted disturbed him.
The Spartan sighed and looked out the window towards Canterlot.
The sea and the sky. Two boundless oceans, reflections of the other. Two sides of the same coin. Of the same face.
Two vast expanses of nothing. Neither living, nor dead.
Then the sea crashed into an orgy of waves and chaos, and from the foam and salt of that destruction emerged a giant turtle.
Thanatos, the First.
Thanatos, ruled his limitless realm for eons, but as time went on he increasingly looked unto the sky with envy. He wished to cross boundaries of his plain, and explore the reflection. With a mighty push, the ambitious god leapt from one sea and towards the other. But the foolhardy immortal could not swim amongst the clouds, and so he crashed back into his realm, sending a tidal wave of salt and water into the sky.
The water swirled with the clouds, and the salt which had once birthed Thanatos mixed with the pure mist of the heavens. Thanatos gazed in wonder as the two spun in unholy matrimony, twisting and bending until they took the shape of a stallion, and became flesh.
Kairos, the Second; son of Thanatos, the first.
Thanatos and Kairos. Two reflections of the other. Two sides of the same coin. Of the same face.
The two lived side by side in harmony. Kairos galloped across the sky, creating terrible storms and displaying his might, while Thanatos swam in his realm, forging crushing waves to outdo the awesome might of his son. Yet the First watched his seed with envy. The old god resented being looked down on by the youth. Day after day, eon after eon, Thanatos jumped up towards the sky, each time flying higher, but still crashing back into his realm. For centuries the turtle fancied himself a stallion, striving to gallop along with his son amongst the clouds, and for centuries he continued to fall.
Kairos watched his father with curiosity. When Thanatos made a final terrible leap towards the sky, Kairos grabbed a hold of his father, and lifted him to the heavens. But the old god had no power in this kingdom, and when Kairos had not the strength to hold on any longer, Thanatos fell and crashed back into the sea with great force. Deeper and deeper the god sank, until his hard shell struck the bottom of the abyss, cracking the mirror.
From this fissure, rose molten earth.
The seed of the world, giving birth to land.
The earth mixed with the salt of the reflection, and took the shape of a bull. Like with Kairos before, the clay became flesh.
Pateras, the Third. Son of Thanatos, the first. Brother of Kairos, the Second.
And so a third realm was created, and the mirror sullied.
Ages went on, and the three gods ruled their Kingdoms in peace.
The earth, the sea, and the sky.
But Pateras grew bored of his land. With a mighty stomp of his hooves, he created mountains and rivers. Still unsatisfied, he took a boulder of clay, and lit it aflame. From the ashes, he molded trees, and carpeted his realm with the beauty of life.
Thanatos and Kairos watched Pateras, and grew resentful of the beauty of his dominion. Kairos created frightening storms, and Thanatos formed destructive tidal waves. But for all their awesome power, they could not imitate the Third’s artistry.
For eons the First and Second’s spite grew, while the Third continued to shape his canvas. But despite the beauty of his great mountains and rolling forests, Pateras felt unsatisfied still.
Under the cover of darkness, he snuck into his father’s domain, and stole a bowlful of the sea’s salt. He returned to his precious earth, and with his clay, molded creatures in his own image. Then, with the power of the salt, breathed life into them.
Kairos, who watched his brother from above, burned with malice. He galloped down to the sea and woke his father to tell him what had happened.
When Thanatos saw that his son had stolen from his realm, he was filled with unrighteous furry. He claimed that since the salts came from his kingdom only he had the right to create life, and demanded that Pateras destroy his creations. But Pateras loved his children, and refused.
Overcome with anger, Thanatos flooded earth. But Pateras foresaw his father’s bloodlust, and took his children to the highest mountain of his kingdom to save them.
Thanatos ordered his eldest son to create a storm to kill Pateras and his children, and Kairos obeyed. But Pateras hollowed his mountain and hid inside along with his seed. Not even the might of the sky could pierce rock.
Once Kairos’ fury abated, Pateras left the sanctity of his mountain to find his kingdom in ruin and decay; the sea and the sky threatening to swallow his earth.
So the young god and his children warred with Kairos and Thanatos, to save their home.
The First and the Second fought fiercely, but despite their storms and waves, were no match. Pateras’ children were as strong and unrelenting as he. So Kairos galloped to the sea from the heavens, and convinced his father to let him take the salt. Molding darkened clouds into his own children, he sprinkled the salt and birthed the windigos. But despite the cruelty of the creatures blizzards, Pateras’ children held firm.
And so Kairos decided that must create his own soldiers in the image of Pateras’ children. He stole some of his brother’s clay, and tried to mold his own creatures. But the foolhardy god could not manipulate the earth with the grace of his brother, and when he poured the salt on the molds he gave birth to abominations.
Man.
The Second’s deformed soldiers descended upon the earth and destroyed Pateras’ children in droves. Bloodthirsty and demonic, Kairos’ creatures rained decay and terror. Seizing Pateras’ weakness, The Sky God stole more of his brother’s clay, and created more monsters to use as soldiers. Giants, basilisks, ogres, and countless other demons.
Pateras saw that his children were in retreat, and that his realm would be consumed by sky and sea. But the bull was nothing if not clever.
He picked from among his children his most skilled blacksmith, Sidero.
Pateras tasked Sidero to build a cage. One strong enough to hold the typhoons and blizzards of the windigos themselves.
Sidero took on his father’s task, and, bathed in the inky blackness of night, worked at his forge until the cage was complete.
Pateras then invited his father, his brother, and all their soldiers to his home for a feast. He promised them his surrender, and that he would destroy his creations. He then captured a group of men and disguised them as his children. Taking them before his brother and father, he lay waste to them as proof of his submission.
Thanatos and Kairos were jubilant. They agreed and traveled to the Third’s home. For days, the two feasted and celebrated their victory. To honor them as his guests, Pateras offered them wine from the vines he had molded from ash.
With their senses dulled, the Third stood before his father and brother.
‘Father, brother, we welcome you to my home. It fills us with joy to see you feast upon our humble bounty so, for it will be your last. Thy thirst for my wine is only seconded by your thirst for blood. You old gods, looking down at me as an insolent youth. But as insolent and inexperienced this youth may be, your minds must have withered with age, for through your folly have you entered my domain, and through your folly shall you not leave here unscathed.’
The seas rocked and the skies crackled. Thanatos and Kairos were filled with an awesome rage at the youth’s impudence. But the elders’ heads had grown heavy with wine, and before the First or the Second could strike him down, the Third pushed his brother into Sidero’s cage, locking him within. Kairos unleashed his fury on the bars, but the blacksmith’s steel held firm.
With the Second locked, Thanatos and Pateras clashed. The sea roared and the earth cracked beneath them as the two fought. As the dust settled over ruin, the youth stood victorious.
‘Vain god, you who revel in the blood of our children. So be it. Become death, and taste the rot of flesh until the end of days.’ Pateras pushed his father back into the rift from which his precious earth rose. The old god fell through the crack, through the fabric of the world until he was trapped in the darkness of Tartars itself. Then the Third rounded up man and what was left of his brother’s demons, and cast them into the valley of death along with their new king.
Leaving the accursed land of the dead, the bull hefted his brother’s cage to the summit of the mountain that once protected him and his children from his sibling’s wrath.
‘And you brother, who’s storms have wrought nothing but decay, withering life and slating mine earth so that no fertile seed may bloom. You may suffer this desolation on the summit of my home, under the Kingdom which was once yours.’
Trapped in the cage and with no power on the forsaken rock, Kairos lost control of his windigos, his former children. Pateras unleashed their wrath upon him, forsaking the Second to live out the rest of his days trapped under the fury of his offspring; cursed to watch his realm from the chains of earth, ever grasping but never reaching, like his father before.
And so Pateras ruled over his realm and his children, never venturing into the cursed ocean and sky, and instead bringing forth peace and bounty to his seed; leaving his father and brother trapped in their prisons of steel and water.
The mirror had been shattered, and from the shards the bull had constructed a perverse shadow.
Thanatos and Kairos.
Sea and sky.
Death and decay.
Two reflections of the other.
Two sides of the same coin.
Of the same face.”
— Agapios. Birth
Jorge gasped and lurched from his bed with frightening speed. His body gleamed with sweat, and his ragged breath scratched his parched throat as his eyes darted around the room frantically.
He gave his face a long slow rub and sighed.
Bloody nightmares…
Everything about his room was eerie. That was to be expected of any castle, regardless of whether it was run by offensively colorful quadrupeds, but that didn’t exactly make it any less spooky. Jorge couldn’t shake off the lingering feeling that something foul would burst from the shadows; or worse, Pinkie Pie would show up.
The room’s decor certainly didn’t help, particularly the large tapestry that hung in front of the bed.
Jorge took a look at the drapery. It looked almost like a Persian carpet hanging over the front entrance. Images of war and bloodshed were woven into the fabric in meticulous detail, not the sort of thing he expected to see in a place as sweet and sugary as Equestria. Amongst the mass of corpses stood legions of Minotaurs, clad in armor that vaguely resembled Greek hoplites. From the carnage rose a giant bronze bull, rays of light piercing through dark and stormy clouds and descending upon it like some divine touch.
Jorge felt uneasy as he stared at the bull, which felt like it stared back. It’s tough eyes gazed down on the human with contempt and rage.
With a self-deprecating scowl, the human tore off his bed sheets and walked towards the mirror. The cold stone floor stung his bare feet.
He looked terrible, like he had aged twenty years overnight. Bags hung under his eyes, and it was evident he hadn’t trimmed his mustache in a long time; too long. His brow bore wrinkles he could have sworn hadn’t existed the day before, and his cheeks sagged with the burden of age.
It looked odd. The notion of a Spartan growing old was a queer one. But Jorge recognized he wasn’t getting any younger, and looking at his reflection was a reminder of that.
Splashing some water on his face, Jorge slowly made his way back to bed. He gave the tapestry another uneasy glance, before crashing back into a fitful sleep. As he rested, the bronze bull’s furious gaze continued to bore over the human, hard and cold.
A yawn drifted lazily across Canterlot Castle’s courtyard. The guards who were patrolling the grounds briefly flicked their eyes towards the source of the noise before returning their attention to their tasks. Guards were becoming a familiar sight for the castle staff; at least, noticeably more so than before.
Just twelve hours before, the courtyard had been crawling with soldiers in the same manner as they were now. Unlike the night before, however, the air around the city felt far less morose. All the tension and foreboding had been scrubbed away, leaving nothing but weariness and cautious optimism.
“Tired, sister?” asked Celestia without taking her eyes off the sky.
“We are not used being awake while your sun is still up,” answered Luna, stifling a yawn.
“I saw you up by day before, please enlighten me as to why you are so fatigued this particular day.”
“Terse, are we sister? Well if you must know, last night’s events weren’t what one would exactly call relaxing.” Luna’s half-hearted glare was interrupted by another yawn. “How is our… delightful guest by the way?”
“Are you referring to the one who nearly ripped my horn off, or the one who placed me in a vile cocoon and threatened to conquer my kingdom?”
“Hmm, we do have a habit of entertaining the most jovial of creatures,” mused Luna. “I am talking about the latter.”
Celestia sighed, and gritted her teeth to avoid succumbing to one of Luna’s contagious yawns. “She is… exhausting.”
Luna laughed, making a nearby group of guards twitch uncomfortably. “How diplomatic of you, Tia. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony if you felt obliged to, say, call that bitch a Tartarus-spawned cockroach who wouldn’t know what true love was if a stallion rammed it into her.”
Celestia gritted her teeth even harder to keep herself from snorting. “Such language is unbecoming of a Princess, Luna,” she chided as she her eyes fell upon a young guard who was blushing and gawking at the blue alicorn. “Especially in public.”
“Tia, it is far, far too early for me to be up without displaying some of my charm, and it is especially too early for you to be scolding me about it.”
Celestia opened her mouth to retort, but the deep bass of a horn sounding from the Castle’s walls quieted her. A group of specks, similar to the night before, were quickly making their way towards them. But unlike the night before, this time the Princess felt relief rather than dread.
A flock of griffins landed before the two alicorns. Each was clad in sparkling gold armor encrusted with jewels. Their feathers preened and styled to almost painful extents, and their chests puffed out proudly. The leader clicked his beak, and the feather foot soldiers formed two columns with one powerful march. A second click, and they each pulled out bugles and began playing a loud, royal summons.
The music cued another griffin to land and let loose a long, red, silk carpet to unfurl between the troops, stopping right before touching royal hooves. Two griffin cubs wearing floral laurels and white dresses skipped down the impromptu walkway, adorning it with rose petals before taking flight and showering them onto the courtyard; and all the while the trumpeters kept blowing.
A giant, gold sky chariot pulled by over a dozen soldiers landed in front of the carpet. It’s door swung open, and out stepped a griffin dressed in a white breeches and a comically puffy shirt.
“Attention!” announced the ridiculously garbed griffin. “Veuillez saluer sa majesté royale et chef de Gryph, le Roi Aile Rapid!”
A group of lavishly clad griffins stepped out of the carriage and strode between the corridors of soldiers towards the Princesses, petals swirling around them as they went.
“Glad to see they’re still as flamboyant as I remember,” whispered Luna to her sister.
One of the griffins stepped away from the group and stood before both alicorns. He wasn’t a particularly tall bird; in fact, one could make the argument that he was a tad on the short side. His plumage was grey save for the tips, like every individual feather had been tipped in black ink. His face bore the light wrinkles of a strong griffin who had entered the autumn of his life, and his beak was covered in faint creases that gave the impression that he was perpetually smiling, which only served to accentuate his sleek, black moustache. Despite his age however, he bounded giddily towards the Princesses with an almost childlike enthusiasm.
The griffin waved his burgundy cape and gave Celestia and Luna a colorful bow, his eyes flashing with eagerness.
“Bonjour Celestia! Comment allez-vous?” He snatched her hoof and shook it energetically, frazzling the Princess somewhat.
When she finally managed to pry her hoof from his grip, Celestia smiled and bowed her head. “Je suis très bien, Aile. I trust you had a pleasant trip.”
Aile nodded quickly and smiled boisterously. “Ah yes, I always love carriage rides. They’re a nice rest from the stuffy old castle back in Talos,” he answered in a heavy accent. “May I just say that you look as radiant as ever, ma chère.”
“I’m flattered.”
A light cough turned Aile’s attention to Luna. “Princess Luna! My apologies, I didn’t see you there.”
“All is forgiven. I don’t suppose that’s a problem you encounter very often.”
Aile’s grin widened before laughing exuberantly. “Yes, I suppose you’re correct. I would do away with all this silly pomposity, but my father insisted on tradition.”
“Sorry about your loss, by the way.”
The griffin King waved his claw dismissively. “Don’t be. He was always a bitter bird. I’m sorry to you for how he treated you, it was most unfair. Ah well, at least he died in time to let me come here in his stead.”
Luna smiled gratefully at the King, earning a non-too subtle wink.
Celestia’s eyes flickered over a griffin standing behind Aile, and her face brightened. “Greetings, Ambassador. It is a pleasure to see you again.”
The griffin, a lanky, brown-feathered creature, stepped forward. “The pleasure is all mine, your highness,” he said in an even heavier accent, toying with his spectacles and giving Celestia a grandfatherly smile. The ambassador wore a simple sash, held by buckle with a fleur-de-lis carved in it. A ceremonial sword hung from his hilt. The simple bronze handle was far more humble than the jewel encrusted rapier his royal counterpart bore; but this in no way diminished the elderly diplomat’s elegance.
“Old Jocelyn will be joining me at the meeting!” explained Aile as he grabbed the ambassador and ruffled his feathers. “Won’t you, Jossy?”
Jocelyn groaned. “Yes, your highness.”
“I trust that will not be problematic, Celestia.”
“No more problematic than carrying another chair to the table, your highness. In fact, the other’s requested the same.”
Aile beamed. “Merveilleux! Speaking of the other delegates, we are the last to arrive, yes?”
Celestia motioned the griffin king to follow her. The royal guards, both pony and griffin, snapped to attention and surrounded the royals. The procession made it’s way across the courtyard and into the castle proper, Celestia and Aile at it’s head, followed closely by Luna and Jocelyn, and the King’s entourage taking the tale.
“The Zebras, Saddle Arabians, Crystal Ponies, and Changelings have. The minotaurs however, have yet to arrive.”
“Hmm… yes, very well,” replied Aile, half listening as he looked around the corridor excitedly.
“Your highness, did you hear me?”
“Yes, yes, minotaurs haven’t arrived.”
“Correct, as such you will all have to reside in the castle until they arrive.”
“Very good, very— oooooh!” The griffin king shot away from the procession with alarming speed towards an antique battle-axe that hung from the hall’s wall. “My word, this is outstanding! Is this a Minotaur battle-axe?” The King began swinging it playfully, complete with self-made ‘whooshing’ noises and all.
Celestia cleared her throat, pausing the King from his antics. “Excuse me your highness, may we continue, you appear to be holding up the group.” She gestured to the procession, who were all gawking at him, save for his ambassador, he simply shook his head and sighed.
Aile laughed awkwardly before clearing his throat and straightening himself. “Of course. My apologies, your highness,” he said overly formal before rejoining the group.
As Celestia did her best to hold the childish king’s attention, Luna was doing her best not to pass out from exhaustion.
“How are you, Princess?”
Luna blinked in surprised and saw Jocelyn smiling softly at her, which she quickly reciprocated.
“I am fine, Ambassador. Thank you for you concern.”
Jocelyn chuckled. “It is my job to be concerned, Princess. I am glad. Ancestors knows these are stressful times.”
“Yes, for all of us.”
“Well, some more than others,” he said, giving the Princess a questioning frown. “I’m not the one who has to house a monster under his roof.”
“I assure you, Jocelyn the human is of no danger to you….” So long as you don’t use magic around him.
“That’s not who I’m talking about.”
“Well then, in that case I assure you that the situation with the…” Tartarus-spawned cockroach who wouldn’t know what true love was if a stallion rammed it into her “… changeling is under control. She will not pose a threat to any of the delegates at this meeting.”
Jocelyn laughed quietly. “At my age, chère, you quickly learn to stop caring about that sort of thing. Although, I suppose I don’t need to tell you of all people about age. I was only asking for your sake.”
“I am fine.”
The elderly griffin hummed. “Yes, I see that. That’s one thing you and your sister excel at, seeing the… ah merde, what’s that Equestrian expression again? The big picture, yes that’s it!” Jocelyn paused thoughtfully, staring at the back of his king’s head.
“How is the family, Ambassador?”
Jocelyn smiled contemplatively and looked distantly past Luna. “They are fine, thankfully. Though I will admit that it’s easy to lose track of so many great nieces and nephews. I am happy to say that at least one of my grand-children has diplomatic aspirations.”
Luna quirked an eyebrow. “Raising future dignitaries I see?”
“We’ll see,” offered the griffin, but his eyes seemed to say that nothing would make him happier. “I was actually hoping she’d join me for this meeting, but she insisted rather vehemently that she preferred not to. She instead joined her uncle at the buffalo consulate. Far less exciting, if you ask me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Jocelyn waved his claw airily. “The heart wants what it wants I suppose, and how am I supposed to keep up with such youthful energy? Besides, I already have one child to care for on this trip…” He nudged his head towards Aile and winked, making Luna giggle.
The procession finally arrived to a pair of massive, ornate doors, and passed through into the throne room. The guards hastily dispersed, and Celestia spun around to address her guests.
“Dearest King Aile and dignitaries of Gryph, it brings me great joy to be given the opportunity to host you for this historic meeting. Unfortunately, unforeseen circumstances have delayed the meeting until further notice. My guards shall escort you to your rooms. Feel free to make yourselves at home and to wander the castle as you please. I only ask that you stay off the upper floors. Now, I am sure you are all exhausted after such a lengthy journey. Captain?”
A nearby guard saluted before motioning the griffins to follow him. Aile jumped excitedly.
“Come Jocelyn, there is adventure afoot! Allons-y!” he bellowed before rushing down the corridor.
The elderly griffin groaned and rubbed his face tiredly. “Ancestors have mercy,” he muttered before following his king along with the rest of the griffin’s procession.
“I’ve just ordered Stalwart to increase patrols around the surrounding countryside to see if we can spot the late minotaurs,” said Celestia.
“Very well, sister. Have you made the arrangements for Jorge?”
“Yes, they should be arriving to his room now.”
“He’s not going to be happy about it,” pointed out Luna.
“I know,” sighed her sister. “But given the circumstance, it’s for the best.”
Jorge’s eyes snapped open with a snort. Or rather, with a knock. Or, even more rather, with a loud series of knocks that sounded like someone was tried to break down the door to his room. The Spartan groaned and got off his bed. Thankfully, he had been able to go back to sleep without being forced to live another distorted nightmare.
The knocking at his door resumed even louder. Jorge grumbled and wrapped a towel to make himself decent, before opening the door mid-knock. A black pony clad in dark blue armor stumbled forward slightly before jumping back to regain her balance. Jorge’s eyebrows rose in surprise when he got a good look at the creature who had been kind enough to wake him.
It was a pony, at least, he thought it was a pony, unlike any he had seen. She was a small, thin creature. Her mane and tail were midnight blue and short, while her coat was charcoal.
And that’s where the normalcy ended.
Her ears were slightly larger and fluffier than that of normal ponies. Her golden eyes were feline in nature, sharp and uncanny. Small fangs jutted from under her upper lip, and when she gasped he could see most of her teeth were far sharper than that of most equines, Equestrian or otherwise. But probably the most glaring physical oddity was her wings. Tucked in her sides, they were masses of leathery skin that eerily resembled those of a bat.
That’s not even to mention her armor, which looked like a purple version of the gold armor he had seen the other guards where. A blue eye rested on her chest like a sigil, and sharp, metal claws were strapped to her front hooves.
The whole sight would have been unnervingly frightening if it wasn’t for the fact that she was still a pony, and thus, still heart-wrenchingly adorable.
If a blood-sucking vampire, and a bunny rabbit collided with each other at supersonic speeds, and someone threw a bunch of armor on the resulting red goo, it would probably look nothing like the bat-pony-thing staring wide eyed at Jorge, but it would come closer than any other two things colliding with each other.
Jorge was so busy examining the specimen before him he didn’t notice her companion until after he coughed for attention.
“—Ahem— uh…are you mister Jorge?”
The second pony looked like your average, generic royal guard. His coat was pure white, his mane gold and, ironically, tied in a ponytail, his eyes light blue, and his armor gold and sparse. The only noticeable feature was a small sliver knife strapped to his side, but the thing was so stubby the super-soldier doubted it was fit to cut butter, let alone flesh.
The human regarded the stoic guard coldly. “Who wants to know?”
“Cloud Skipper, paladin of her Majesty's elite Eclipse Guard and servant to the throne. This is my partner, Midnight Blossom.”
“Whoa, you’re a big one,” was all ‘Midnight Blossom’ offered.
Cloud Skipper groaned quietly, the kind that said he gave a lot of those kinds of groans a day. “Are you Jorge the human or not?”
“No, I’m the other human. Jorge is five doors down on your right,” deadpanned Jorge, pointing down the hall.
Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom turned their heads to where Jorge was indicating, before the stallion snorted and looked annoyed. “We have been ordered to escort you during your stay here.”
“Thank you, but your services aren’t required, soldier.”
Before the guard could get another word in, Jorge shut the door. No sooner had he returned to his bed that the two ponies knocked again.
Should have seen that coming. Well, it was worth a shot.
“Go away. I don’t need a bloody escort.”
“Room service,” came a female voice.
That gave Jorge pause. “Pardon?”
“Room service,” repeated the bat-pony.
“And what happened to those to guards who were standing outside just a second ago?”
“They went looking for Jorge five doors down on our right.”
The Spartan sighed. Doors are useless against these damn ponies. Opening the door again, he looked down to see the bat-pony giving him a smug grin.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jorge groaned. “What is it you want with me?”
“Like Cloud said, we’re here to babysit you for the day.”
“I thought the word was ‘escort?’” growled Jorge.
The mare shrugged. “Same difference.”
“And who put you up to this exactly?”
“Orders came from Princesses Celestia and Cadence,” answered the stallion. “Something about making sure you don’t get lost in the castle again?”
Smart-asses…
“Well unless you two want to watch me lounge around my room until the meeting starts, then I’d suggest you two find something more productive to do.”
“The meeting has been postponed until further notice due to unforeseen complications.”
Jorge cringed internally. Of course it has. The human looked down at the ponies in front of him. The bat-thing looked at him curiously, trying to take in every detail of his alien form. The stallion on the other hand held a stony gaze, and analyzed the human with a far more critical and calculating eye than his companion.
“So how does this whole ‘escort’ slash ‘babysit’ thing work?” he asked, gesticulating at the two with one of his fingers.
“The Princesses have made it clear that you are permitted to travel through the castle grounds as you please, and that we are supposed to offer any assistance you may require,” answered the gold guard mechanically, prompting an eye-roll from his companion.
“Like I said, ‘baby-sitters.’”
Jorge examined the two; both were looking at him expectantly. Alright Jorge, you have a few hours to kill, and a new pair of ‘friends’ to do it with. He looked back into his room. The bed was a mess, but otherwise it was fairly untouched save for his armor lying carefully in a corner. A gurgling in his belly drew his attention away from his dwelling, and he suddenly knew what he wanted to do.
“Do either of you know where I can get some food?”
The stallion frowned. “The kitchens are closed at this hour, I’m afraid you're going to have to wait.”
“They should be serving some grub in the barracks right about now though,” said the mare.
The sun guard’s stony façade cracked and he glared at his partner. “I don’t think such a setting would be appropriate for a dignitary such as yourself—”
“It’s fine,” interrupted Jorge. “I’ll be back in twenty.” Without another word, he shut the door again, and started the arduous process of putting his armor on.
Eighteen minutes later he was fully dressed. He briefly examined himself in the mirror to be sure that everything was in place. Outside of steel corridors of a UNSC vessel and in the lavish bedroom of a home to royalty, Jorge noticed just how weathered the MJOLNIR was. There wasn’t an inch of the plated steel that wasn’t scratched or scarred in some way. A jagged line ran down from his collar to his chest, the place of a nearly fatal run with a sangheili energy sword a few years back. Faded plasma burns spotted the washed-out orange.
No wonder they’re so damned terrified when they see me.
Jorge shifted a bit. The metal suit felt heavy. It felt bulky. It felt uncomfortable and tight.
It felt like home.
Satisfied that everything was in order, he slipped his helmet on and stepped out into the hallway.
Both guards appeared to be in the middle of a quiet argument when he appeared, but they were immediately rendered mute and slack-jawed when they noticed the human.
“Lead the way,” said Jorge, gesturing down the hall. It was enough to snap both of them out of their stupor. They glanced at each other, before heading down the hall with Jorge in tow.
The walk was brief with little more than identical corridors or the occasional painting or tapestry to draw the eye. Jorge kept his eyes ahead; trying to ignore the nervous glances the stallion threw at him, or the curious ones his female companion offered.
“What were your names again?” asked Jorge, having grown tired of echoing footsteps that bounced along the walls.
“I’m Midnight Blossom, this is Cloud Skipper,” explained the black mare.
Jorge nodded, and the group fell back into silence.
“So…you’re a human, huh?” asked ‘Midnight’ after rounding their fourth corner, prompting ‘Cloud’ to shoot her an annoyed glare.
“What gave it away?”
“How’d you end up in Equestria?” she asked, ignoring the Spartan’s jibe.
“Don’t know.”
“Oh,” she said, disappointed.
The group walked through a pair of doors and out into the Castle’s gardens. Midnight cringed, which caught Jorge’s attention, but he didn’t say anything.
They made their way to a white structure built against the Castle’s walls. It was long, nearly spanning the entire length of that section of the wall. Two long extensions jutted out from the ends, giving the whole structure a ‘U’ shape.
Despite its length, there were only a couple doors leading into it, and almost no windows on the bottom floor. It looked like someone stacked some marble bricks together and stuck a dozens of chimneys out spewing white smoke into them. The roof was slanted downward away from the battlements, and tiled purple, lending itself well to the esthetic of the rest of the Castle.
The only reason Jorge would have even guessed they were barracks was because of the dozens of troops conducting drills around and above the structure. Pegasi laden with heavy rucksacks were performing aerial maneuvers through a cloud obstacle course. On the ground, jogged around the courtyard while a drill sergeant called them weak and commented on the sexual promiscuity of their collective mothers.
What really caught Jorge’s attention though were the unicorns, who were firing spells at a group of targets, which either burst into flames or outright exploded. The magic wasn’t what Jorge was interested in however, although it certainly was impressive. No, what really caught the human’s interest were the straw manikins they were using as targets.
Namely, the fact that they were vaguely human shaped.
The magic flingers stopped unleashing their wrath on the defenseless stuffed humans. The earth ponies slowed down to a trot and stopped entirely, their trainers looking like they were about to burst a vein before their voices faded as well. Even the pegasi had ceased their drills to hover quietly in the air.
Every single one of them had stopped to stare at Jorge, and they did not look happy.
The Spartan clenched his fist anxiously as he drank up the hundreds of glares. I really need to stop making friends…
The trio hurriedly walked to the front entrance to the barracks, all the while being drilled by the glares. They walked through the door and were assaulted by the cacophony of chattering voices and clinking silverware as they entered the mess hall.
Anger and merriment, arguments and jests, the mess hall was awash in a sea of voices that struck Jorge like a hammer. In an instant, he was reliving a hundred memories. Boisterous laughter echoed across the room’s walls as friends, comrades, and brothers in arms sat among each other, eating and telling lewd jokes to captive audiences. Cooks yelled at each or at the occasional soldier who had the audacity to complain about the ration’s portions. Stories about yesterday’s escapades or this or that hard-assed drillmaster were traded. It was an environment that Jorge knew well, an inviting ambiance that called forward anybody who has ever answered a call to duty to come forth and take part in the merriment.
And with the flip of a switch, it disappeared.
No sooner had Jorge walked through the doors, that the hall became deathly silent. As with the troops outside, every single pair of eyes had turned on the human, and while this was nothing he wasn’t already used to, the hostility with which he was greeted with was jarring. With the exception of some of the younger looking guards, who looked more awestruck and curious than anything else, the ponies looked at him with unhidden hatred.
A tense silence oozed into everyone’s hearts; the only movement being thin wisps of steam floating from the guards’ breakfast. No one dared to move, fearing that the slightest twitch would send the hall into frenzy. Jorge could swear he heard the digital clock on his HUD ticking away at the seconds like some ancient grandfather clock.
Then, with a nervous cough, Cloud Skipper shattered the tension, giving an all clear for everyone to breath again. The mess hall’s ambiance returned, albeit more subdued, as if muffled by glass and whispers, and Jorge felt himself release and breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.
Jesus, what was that about?
“This way,” muttered Skipper quietly, leading Jorge and Midnight through the throngs of seats. If looks could kill, Jorge reckoned he must have been stabbed to death at least a few hundred times.
A couple of guards walked by, shoving Cloud hard and giving him a dirty look before walking past Jorge and taking their spot in the line. Midnight all but hissed at them, causing the burly guards to recoil slightly.
Midnight, Cloud and Jorge found an empty table in a secluded corner of the room, and sat down, Jorge taking his place on the floor rather than the bench, earning a curious glance from Midnight.
“I’ll get us some food,” said Cloud before heading towards the breakfast line.
“Sooo…” started Midnight. “You’re an alien, right?”
“Something like that…” Jorge glanced at the tables surrounding him. Guards were eyeing him like sharks circling an injured seal.
“That’s awesome!” squee’d the bat-pony. “So, like, do you have ponies where you come from?”
“Sort of.” Two exits… three hundred fifty seven possible hostiles, seventeen rounds across three magazines, two frag grenades, combat knife, kitchen, forty long tables, walls three feet thick…
“Woah, that’s weird… And are all humans as big as you?”
“No.” Jorge everywhere Jorge looked he felt eyes boring into him, guards shifted and squirmed. Everywhere he looked he saw relentless twitching.
“And is it true you guys eat meat?”
An armored guard nodding towards him and muttering something to his buddy.
“Cuz that would be awesome.”
Someone snorting and grinding his teeth.
“I mean, it’d be refreshing to have someone else to talk to about that sort of stuff.”
A stallion sharpening a jagged knife.
“Yup, there ain’t nothing like sinking your teeth into a nice…”
Hooves thumping on tables.
“…juicy…”
Wavering glances.
“…piece of flesh…”
Hushed whispers.
“You know what I mean?”
“Here you go, three bowls of oatmeal.”
Jorge gasped.
His vision focused. Cloud and Midnight were giving him odd looks. A bowl of oatmeal was growing cold in front of him.
“I think I just lost my appetite,” he said, pushing the bowl away distastefully. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was just asking if you ate meat,” clarified Midnight as she and were about to start eating.
“Yeah, I do.” Jorge looked over to the kitchen and noticed one of the chefs glaring at their table and snorting. “I wouldn’t eat those if I were you.”
Midnight and Cloud glanced at their meals and at each other before pushing them next to Jorge’s.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve never seen a pony quite like you before,” Jorge said to Midnight. “What are you exactly, some sort of vampire?”
“Uh… no, I’m a pony, a nycha. But everypony just calls us bat-ponies. We’re not all that common here in southern Equestria. What’s a vampire?”
“Creature of human mythology,” explained the Spartan. “Monsters of the night. Characterized by their ability to turn into bats, their sharp fangs, and their habit of sucking mortal’s blood.”
The mare’s eyes widened and she grinned eerily. “Sucking blood, huh? That’s sounds awesome.”
Cloud groaned and shook his head. “Great, now you’re giving her ideas.”
“You eat meat?”
The mare shrugged. “Just fish. Most nycha don’t cuz it’s so taboo for ponies, but I still slip the occasional shrimp when I can get my hooves on ‘em.”
“You’re disgusting,” said Cloud. Midnight stuck her tongue out at him.
Jorge noticed that the whispers were becoming more pronounced. A few of the nearby guards tensed and eyed him with predatory eagerness.
“Maybe we should take this outsi—”
“You traitors sure got a lotta nerve showin’ your faces around here.”
The lunch line parted like the Red Sea to make way for a large, orange, silver maned earth pony. The guard was big, almost a head taller than Big Macintosh, wearing a mean grin through cracked, yellow teeth as he cozied up against Jorge’s table.
“Can we help you, Stout?” asked Skipper coldly.
“Why yes, yes you can. Ah was just wonderin’ why y’all decided to bring this big feller into our mess hall.”
“We’re just here to get some breakfast.”
The burly stallion leaned on the table and smiled sadistically to Skipper. “Well it looks like y’all are just about done. So why don’t you and your freak pet here just leave before we have some trouble. The hot piece of flank can stay though.” He winked at Midnight and eyed her rump lecherously.
Cloud opened his mouth to say something, but was beaten to the punch.
“I would suggest you back away before you get hurt,” rumbled Jorge without taking his eyes off the table.
The guard’s face twisted in rage. “Did you just threaten’ me, freak?” he snarled.
“Just giving a friendly suggestion.”
The earth pony brought his face in, snorting and fogging up Jorge’s visor. “You think you can just walk in here, after what you did?” The stallion growled. “No one attacks our Princesses and shows up to our Castle as a fuckin’ guest, least not while the Royal Guard’s got anything to say about it. Do you hear me, ape?”
Jorge removed his helmet and carefully placed it on the table, before slowly turning to face the offending pony with a look that chilled bones. “Is that what Celestia thought before I wrapped my hand around her pretty little horn and nearly tore it off?”
A hoof snapped back, ready to lunge forward and strike the seven-foot human. But before he could move forward, the stallion’s battle cry was abruptly cut short.
Jorge blinked. The stallion was standing stock still, his hoof raised back over his head and his body quivering slightly. Midnight was standing, her foreleg outstretched and the metal claws on her hoof pushed up against his throat.
God she’s fast!
“I’m disappointed in you, Stout Shield,” tisked the bat-pony poisonously. “Treating a royal guest, personally invited by Princesses Celestia and Luna, so rudely. What kind of message does that send about your Solar Guard?”
Midnight pushed the claw a little harder, raising Stout Shield’s chin up, exposing his neck for all to see. The cold steel stung his throat. The sharp metal cut right under his chin, not enough to draw blood, but enough to cause his jaw to tremble in fear.
“Maybe I need to teach you a lesson in hospitality. It wouldn’t take too long. All it would take is one, quick…” Midnight ran the claws against his Adam’s apple and bared her fangs in a gleefully macabre grin, “…ssslice.” Stout’s legs trembled as the tickle shot through his veins.
“Or maybe…” Midnight’s free hoof slide down between the guard’s legs, and with one jerk caused the virile male to let out a pitifully loud whimper. “…a quick, little, snip?”
“My, my, my, Stout,” gasped the mare theatrically, tugging and making Stout’s eyes go wide in unbridled terror. “Looks like your impressive size doesn’t exactly apply to every part of your physiology now does it? Just think of all those disappointed mares.”
Midnight moved in close, bringing her lips millimeters from Stout’s ear. “What was that you said, big boy? About my flank?” The stallion gave no more reply than a simple snivel. “Now that I have your undivided attention, listen, and listen carefully. If you bother Cloud’s and my escort again, or you fuck with our assignment in any other way, I’ll do more than just squeeze ‘em, understood?”
Stout nodded furiously, and Midnight backed away. But before he could breath a sigh of relief, the mare spun around and bucked him square in the chest, sending him crashing into the next table over. Midnight looked unto the rest of the mess hall.
“Anypony else?”
Everyone averted their gaze, suddenly taking interest in the tables in front of them.
“Didn’t think so,” she snorted to herself before retaking her seat next to Jorge.
Cloud Skipper frowned. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“He was interfering in our mission, Cloud.”
Cloud shook his head. “You didn’t have to make such a show out of it Midnight. Discretion is the name of the game.”
Midnight scoffed. “The bastard was lucky I didn’t geld him after that flank comment.”
“So is that how the elite royal guard operates?” asked Jorge contemptuously. “Threatening to hand out free vasectomies to its fellow members? It’s not wonder I got so close to snuffing your Princess.”
Midnight and Cloud bristled furiously.
“I solved the problem, didn’t I?” snarled the bat-pony.
Jorge scowled. “No, you didn’t. Look around you.” Midnight and Cloud reluctantly did as they were told. The guards were all staring down at their tables, not taking their eyes off the bark in front of them expect to only briefly give a sullen glance over to the human’s table.
“Do their eyes look full of terror, full of apprehension? No. That’s because that isn’t submissiveness, that’s patience. They’re going to think twice before rushing head on to attack us sure, but that only means that next time they're going to be smart about it. It means now, they’re more pissed than ever, but they have the level headedness to be cautious about it. I’ll give you one thing, I am impressed as hell; but that doesn’t take away the fact that your stupidity just made our position ten times more dangerous. This’ll come back to bite us in the ass, I’m sure of it.”
Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom glanced uncertainly to each other.
“Maybe we should go,” offered the white stallion.
Jorge nodded. “Maybe we should.”
The three stood up and made their way to the exit, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched by hundreds of hungry predators. When they were a healthy distance from the barracks Jorge finally relaxed.
“Well that was fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to my room and wait for the stupid meeting to start.”
“Whoa, whoa,” exclaimed Midnight, jumping in front of the human, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Uh, we’re your escorts, remember? We kind of have to go with you.”
“No thank you. I’m relieving you of duty.”
“You don’t have the authority to do that,” asserted Cloud.
“I don’t care. All I asked you is to take me to get some breakfast. Not only have I not eaten yet, but also you threw me into a pool of piranhas and tossed a bucket of blood in there to get them excited. So excuse me if I don’t want you to babysit me anymore.”
“I told you it was a bad idea,” muttered Cloud. “We still have orders from the Princess herself. We don’t have a choice. And neither do you.”
Jorge glared at Cloud, but the royal guard held his ground.
“Take me to see Celestia,” ordered Jorge.
The stallion blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Take me to see the Princess, now.”
“I don’t think that—”
“You said that as my baby sitter you would do everything possible to make my stay as pleasant as possible, so I’m going to be pragmatic and give you two options: You can either take me to see Celestia, or, alternatively, I can choose the less simple route and start breaking through the walls of that maze of a castle until I find her room.” Jorge leaned down until he was level with the guard. “And trust me, I’m good at breaking down walls.”
Cloud grit his teeth and held his gaze with the Spartan’s faceless visor. He turned around with a scowl. “This way,” he growled.
Midnight looked between Jorge and Cloud hesitantly before following her partner, Jorge close by. They walked through one of the side entrances of the Castles, and Jorge found himself in a thin corridor. The Spartan tied to hunch down to fit in the claustrophobic hallway, but his armor still screeched against the stone regardless.
“Do you have to wear such big armor,” whined Midnight, her ears twitching wildly before folding back in pain.
“The only thing keeping all those charming guards from trying to take a stab at me, literally, is this armor,” answered Jorge cheekily. “So yes. Did you have to pick such a narrow entrance?”
“These servant’s corridors run along the whole Castle,” explained Cloud. “They’re the fastest way to get to the throne room.”
The trio made their way through the catacomb like hall for what felt like hours. The trip was punctuated by high-pitched whines from Midnight as the scraping and screeching of the MJOLNIR’s metal plates against the walls hurt her ears. Finally, they made it to a small dead end. Just as Jorge was about to voice his displeasure, Cloud pushed one of the stones on the walls, causing it to slide open and wash the group in sunlight. Jorge recognized the hall as the same one he had been brought to yesterday when he first arrived to the castle.
Nobles were wandering aimlessly, muttering to themselves or anyone nearby to hear them. That is, until they got their first look of Jorge, which invited the same stunned, shocked, or outright petrified reactions he had grown so accustomed to. At the massive door to the throne room, and irate guard was trying to keep his patience with a white pony with a stylized golden mane, who looked like he was about to burst a vein in rage.
“I’m sorry, your highness. But her Majesty will not be taking caller today or for the foreseeable future until further notice, no exceptions.”
“No exceptions!?” fumed the noble pony. “Do you any idea who I am?”
“Yes, your highness, I already told you I do,” said the guard, trying to keep his teeth grinding from being too obvious. That doesn’t change the fact th—” He trailed off as he noticed Cloud Skipper making his way to the entrance, with Jorge taking the rear. Cloud gave him a simple nod, and the guard hastily made way for the two Eclipse guards and the human to pass. As the door closed behind him, Jorge could hear the noble screaming indignantly.
Celestia and Luna were standing side by side, muttering something to themselves. They were both quick to notice Jorge’s presence.
“Ah, good morning, Jorge,” greeted Celestia. “What a pleasant surprise. I’m afraid you just missed the delegation from Gryph. I trust you slept well?”
“Well enough, thank you,” answered Jorge curtly.
“Do you need something?”
“Yes, in fact I do. I was just here to ask why you found it necessary to send these two muppets to, as they put it, babysit me.”
Midnight and Cloud stepped forward and knelt before their rulers.
“I’m sorry, your Majesty,” said Cloud. “But he insisted we bring him to you immediately.”
Celestia nodded sympathetically. “Worry not, paladin. You did well.” She turned her attention to the annoyed Spartan. “I thought it would be easier for you to have two guides to take you around the Castle. It can be confusing to newcomers.”
“What was wrong with Twilight, or the others from Ponyville, why couldn’t they 'guide' me?”
One of Luna’s eyebrows rose. “Missing the Elements are you?” she teased.
“I don’t like being guarded.”
“I assure you that was not our intention,” said Celestia. “As my student, Twilight has been helping me organize today’s events, and the Elements are not familiar with the Castle.”
“Besides,” interjected Luna. “We remembered how much you liked meeting new people, so…”
Celestia’s lips twitched slightly. A subtle gesture, but one that showed Jorge she didn’t approve of her sister’s sarcasm. Jorge couldn’t say he was a fan either.
“Yeah, I love it,” glowered Jorge. “I met a charming group of new friends just now at the barracks. Real fun bunch. And only half of them looked like they wanted to rip my throat out.”
Luna’s eyes widened considerably, while her sister frowned.
“That reminds me, it seems your guards aren’t that fond of me, Princess.”
“Yes, I am aware,” sighed Celestia. “I was hoping that they would be able to contain their vitriol, but regrettably it seems their loyalty to me outweighs their fear of disobeying orders.”
“And knowing this you still sent these two to accompany me?” asked Jorge incredulously.
“I assure you, Jorge, the members of our Eclipse guard are all well disciplined. You have no need to fear Midnight and Cloud harming you.”
Fear of them harming me isn’t the problem. “Just tell me this, will your guards be a problem?”
“No,” said Celestia with finality.
“What were you doing in the barracks?” asked Luna.
“Getting breakfast.”
The blue alicorn wrinkled her nose distastefully. “Military rations?”
Jorge shrugged. “I’ve been eating them my whole life. I’ll survive.”
This drew surprised glances from Midnight and Cloud.
“Now,” continued Jorge. “About these two?”
“I insist that they remain by your side for the duration of your stay so as to not tempt any of my more volatile guards.”
Jorge’s eyes narrowed. “You said—”
“Regardless,” interrupted the Princess. “Best not take any chances.” The Princess glanced to a clock hanging over the entrance to the throne room. “A bit early for breakfast, don’t you think?”
“I’m an early riser. But the cooks over at the barracks seemed to agree with you.”
“I see. Well if you want I’m sure we could convince the chefs to start early today, if you’d be so kind to join my sister and I in the dining room.”
“First I’d like to ask about this delay in the meeting.”
“Come,” said Celestia, heading out. “We’ll discuss it on the way there.”
Jorge hesitated, but ultimately followed the alicorn and her sister on the way to the dining room. He settled next to the both of them, his two guards hovering close by.
“I’m sure my guards explained the situation to you, correct?”
“They were vague,” answered Jorge.
“The meeting has been postponed. The reason being that one of the groups of delegates has yet to arrive. We do not yet know the nature of their delay, but are doing everything possible to find out.”
“Who’s missing?” asked Jorge, ignoring the stares from passersby.
“The minotaurs,” explained Luna.
“Can’t we start without them?”
Celestia nodded gracefully to a group of servants who had stopped to bow respectfully. “As I explained to the others, no. A new race appearing is no small thing, even if it wasn’t one featured so prominently in our mythology. To start without them would be a grave insult.”
“Besides, the minotaurs would be the group most… sensitive about your arrival,” pointed out Luna.
“Yeah, I remembered one of the reporters from two days ago mention something about them demanding my execution,” said the Spartan dryly.
Luna coughed awkwardly. “Yes, well, they have assured us that is merely a fringe political group.”
“For some reason, I don’t find that all that reassuring.”
Jorge, both Princesses, and his guards entered the dining room and were surprised to find that it was already occupied.
“Good morning, aunties, Jorge,” greeted Cadence cheerfully from the head of the table, pausing from her meal. Five of the six element bearers were present as well along with Lyra, all enjoying an early breakfast, the absence being Rainbow Dash, who was nowhere in sight.
“Good morning, Princess!” shouted Twilight ecstatically as she hopped off her chair and trotted to Celestia. The two shared an affectionate nuzzle as the rest gave their greetings.
“I apologize for starting without you, aunty; but we woke up early this morning,” explained Cadence.
“Morning Jorgie!” shouted Pinkie, who was busy stuffing her face full of cupcake next to a familiar mint unicorn.
“Jorge, Jorge, over here!” cried out Lyra, waving her hooves frantically. “I saved a seat for you!”
The Spartan groaned and looked to Luna for help, but the alicorn just smirked and took a seat next to her sister. With little choice, Jorge reluctantly joined Lyra, who was quick to leer at him. Before she could say anything though, he snapped his finger up in a silencing gesture.
“Not a word about yesterday to anyone, understood?” he murmured into her ear.
Lyra pouted but nodded. She glanced over the human’s shoulders and noticed Cloud and Midnight standing vigilantly behind him.
“Uh…who are these two?”
“New friends.”
A loud gasp drew everyone’s attention to Pinkie, who was staring at the two suddenly anxious guards with glee. She hopped over to the other side of the table and landed right in front of them.
“Hi there! My name’s Pinkie Pie, and it’s super pleasurific to meet you!”
Cloud leaned back nervously from the beaming she-demon while Midnight grinning maliciously at her partner’s predicament.
Jorge couldn’t say he blamed her.
“I’m Paladin Cloud Skipper, member of her Majesty’s—”
“Ooh, you’re a guard? Do you live in Canterlot?”
“Uh…yes?”
“Yay! I’ve always wanted to have a best friend who lives in Canterlot. Twilight told me about a bunch of her friends who lived in Canterlot, she called them pen pals and she said they sent letters to each other every week, and I was super happy because Twilight has other friends which is great, cuz let’s face it she doesn’t get out all that much. But then I was super sad because pen palling sounds almost as fun as strip checker-chess. But now that you live in Canterlot we can send letters to each other every day because…”
And that’s as much as Jorge heard before he tuned out the nonsense and turned his back on the perplexed paladin. He slipped his helmet off and began enjoying a handful of grapes.
“So Jorge, you’ll be happy to know that I added the finishing touches of my latest creation,” said Rarity as she daintily wiped her mouth. “Let’s just say that you’re going to look fabulous.”
“Look Rarity, I appreciate the effort you’re putting into this, but I’m not wearing anything other than my armor.”
“We’ll see~” sang the fashionista in a way that filled Jorge with dread.
I do not like the sound of that… “Where’s Rainbow Dash?”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Sleepin’ in. We tried to wake her, but she would budge. So we caught up with Lyra and headed here. She was just tellin’ us uh little bit ‘bout humans.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy, smiling demurely. “It was very interesting.”
“Ah’ll say. Ah didn’t know ya’ll had four stomachs.”
Jorge nearly choked on his orange juice. “Excuse me,” he coughed.
“Your four stomachs.”
Jorge down towards Lyra. “What have you been telling them?”
The unicorn’s proud smile dropped. “I was just telling them a little bit about your anatomy.”
“The why’d you tell them I have four stomachs.”
“Don’t you?” she asked with utter perplexity.
Jorge shook his head.
“Oh…does this mean you aren’t cold blooded?”
Before Jorge could even think about how to respond to such a question, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Cadence smiling at him.
“Good morning, Jorge.”
“Good morning,” he grunted, shaking his surreal conversation with Lyra out of his head. He glanced over at the unicorn and saw her scribbling something down furiously in her notes. I’m going to have to add ‘human anatomy’ to the list of things I need to talk to Lyra about. Right next to ‘boundaries’ and ‘creepy grins.’
“How was your first night at the Castle?”
“Fine.”
“That’s good. Most people find it a bit cold.”
Jorge swallowed a mouthful of plum and wiped his chin. “I slept well, Princess. Thank you for your concern.”
Cadence hummed. “Any plans for the day?”
Jorge frowned with equal parts suspicion and puzzlement. “I assumed you would have something planned.”
Cadence shook her head. “You are a guest, Jorge. You are free to go where you please, although my aunt would rather you avoided the western towers until the end of the meeting.”
“Oh darn, and here I was planning a picnic in the western towers. But other than that, my schedule is clear.”
Cadence laughed softly, her voice flowing like a sweet melody. “That’s good. Are you nervous?”
“Impatient.”
The room’s conversations were cut off as the door flew open wildly, and a scrawny guard galloped through. He came to a screeching halt in front of Celestia. The Princess waited patiently while the stallion took a moment to catch his breath.
“Your Majesty,” he panted. “The minotaurs have arrived. They demand an audience with you.”
Celestia and Luna stood up immediately. The white alicorn nodded to the guard before facing everyone at the table. “I’m sorry, everyone. Looks like we’re back on schedule.” Without another word she and her sister followed the guard out, leaving a table full of confused faces.
Cadence smiled mirthlessly at Jorge. “Well then. I guess you’re in luck.”
Dash stretched her wings until they gave an audible pop. She sighed contently and hummed to herself as she walked through one of the Castle’s corridor. Her coat and mane where matted with sweat, and her body felt like she had just gone through an endurance exam at the Wonderbolt Academy.
Despite this, she was on cloud nine.
New record around the Castle! she thought to herself. Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!
She grinned to herself. More awesome than that freak Joe or whatever.
At the thought of Jorge, her grin spoiled to an angry scowl. She had to keep herself from grinding her teeth in rage at the very thought.
Nope, not gonna think about that stupid monkey. Gonna go to my room and take a nice, cool shower—
She gasped. With the kind breakneck speed she prided herself on, Dash dashed back around the corner she had just turned and hugged the wall.
“What’s he doing here!?” she whispered harshly to herself. Nervous sweat poured down her brow. “It’s okay, don’t panic. Just wait for him to leave, and get back to the room as quickly as possible.”
“Great plan.”
Dash smirked. “Yeah, I—” She paused and slowly turned her head until her nose booped with a grinning beak.
“Who are we hiding from?” whispered the beak.
“Aaaargh!” Dash’s fur frazzled as she leapt away from the griffin in shock.
“Fear not, my sweet maiden!” cried out the Griffin grabbing a hold of her and squeezing her close to his chest. “I shall protect you from whatever fiend you hide from!”
A second griffin came around the corner and spotted the two with an amused smile. “Making friends, your highness?”
“Jocelyn, remercier les ancêtres vous etes ici! I was just guarding this sweet damsel from some foul creature.”
Jocelyn’s eyebrow rose when he saw Rainbow Dash, who squirmed and blushed in the King’s grip. “Yes, I see. Your highness, perhaps you’d like to go find this beast?”
“But… what about the damsel?”
“I will care for her.”
“Ah, noble as ever, mon fidèle Jocelyn.” The King let go of Dash, dropping her unceremoniously, and shot a talon dramatically in the air. “I, King Aile of Gryph, shall slay the beast for the beautiful maiden!”
Dash gawked in confusion as the king kissed her hoof and rushed down the hall, leaving her alone with Jocelyn, who stared down at her with the same grandfatherly smile.
“Bonjour, Rainbow Dash.”
Dash scrambled onto her hooves and laughed nervously. “Uh… bonjour Monsieur Tremblay. Sa va bien?”
Jocelyn looked pleasantly surprised. “Oui, merci. I’m glad to see you still remember some of what my grand-daughter taught you.”
Dash fidgeted uncomfortably. “Uh… yeah.”
The old griffin looked at the wall Dash had been hiding behind and chuckled. “I see you aren’t as happy to see me as I am to see you.”
“W-what no I—”
Jocelyn raised his hand to silence the pony. “It’s fine Dash, I understand. I know what happened.”
“You… do?”
The griffin sat down on the hard stone and leaned against the wall, groaning something about ‘old bones.’ “Not every detail, but the general idea. Gilda was quite upset when she came back from her visit.”
Dash almost flinched at the name. “She’s… she’s not here, is she?”
“No, sadly not. I was truly vexed as to why she’d pass up such an tremendous opportunity.” He looked at Dash. “I suppose now I know why.”
This time the pony did flinch. She would have given anything to be anywhere but with Jocelyn at that moment. “S-sorry,” she mumbled instinctively.
This caught Jocelyn by surprise. “You don’t have to apologize, Miss Dash. I’m not upset.”
“You’re not?”
The griffin shook his head. “Just…sad. You two were inseparable; it pains me to see you two like this.” He waved his claw dismissively. “Listen to me, rambling on about this like an old bird. Tell me a little bit about yourself. You have certainly changed since last I saw you; and Element of Harmony and being tasked to join the human to Canterlot, quite an honor.”
Dash scoffed. “Yeah, real great. Get to hang around that freak all day.”
“Oh? You do not care for the human?”
Rainbow sat next to Jocelyn. “He’s nothing but a monster!”
“Hmm, that’s not what I heard from Luna or Celestia at all.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with everypony. They’ll all acting like I’m in the wrong here!” she cried indignantly, throwing her hooves in the air.
“And why do you hate him so much?”
“He attacked the Princesses! And he punched me,” she mumbled, rubbing her eye.
“My, that is a quite serious,” he said, without so much as batting an eye. “Why would he do something like that.”
“Cuz he’s a monster!”
“So he just attacked you, unprovoked?”
Dash shifted awkwardly. “Well… no. I did kind of try to…hit him.”
Jocelyn gave Dash an amused smile causing her to scowl and cross her forelegs in frustration. “I still don’t trust him.”
“But your friends do?”
“Yeah.”
“As do the Princesses?”
“…yeah.”
“And I take it they dislike your behavior towards Jorge.”
Dash didn’t answer.
Joce sighed and looked at the ceiling. “You know, my granddaughter was very jealous when she found out you had made new friends, especially ones she didn’t quite take a… likening to. Much like you and this human.”
“That was different.”
One of his eyebrows rose. “Is it?”
Rainbow opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it.
“She couldn’t understand how you could associate yourself with such ponies.” He chuckled. “Had she known that they were the Elements of Harmony perhaps she would have behaved differently, who’s to say. But now it’s too late, and she is very angry.”
Dash winced. “At me?”
“At herself. She will never admit it, and ancestor’s know she’d rip my beak of for even hinting it, but Gilda blames herself for what happened between you two. For being so stubborn.”
“What’s your point?” snapped Dash.
Jocelyn shrugged. “I don’t have a point. I’m old. That’s what old bird’s do I suppose. When your bones turn to dust, you having nothing else but your words.”
A pair of Royal Guards rushed past the two of them in a panic.
“Quick, some crazy griffin just broke into the kitchen and is wrecking the place!” screamed one of them as they scrambled down the hall.
“And that’s my cue,” sighed Jocelyn, groaning as he slowly stood up. “I hope that well-meaning fool didn’t hurt himself.” He turned to Dash and flashed her a paternal smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Rainbow Dash. I hope you solve your problems with this human.” And with that, he strolled down through where the guards went, humming to himself as he went.
Dash stared at the floor in silence for a few minutes before scowling and bumping her head back into the wall.
I hate it when he does that.
“Rarity I—”
“Hush now, darling. Just close your eyes and wait a moment. I guarantee you’ll be quite satisfied.”
“That’s what she said,” snickered Lyra from the couch, earning a glare from the fashionista and a giggle from Pinkie Pie.
Jorge scowled and did as he was told.
Shortly after the announcement that the minotaurs had arrived, everything was thrown into chaos. Guards started frantically running to and fro, trying to get the logistics of the meeting’s security in check. Their panic was only seconded by that of the scribes, who looked like they were going to have a heart attack from the very thought of trying to get the schedule back on track. The girls ignored the ruckus and chatted excitedly amongst themselves, while Midnight and Cloud did their best to form a perimeter around Jorge, a gesture that he found amusing to say the least.
Celestia and Luna were fortunately able to quell the panic before ordering the two Eclipse guards to escort Jorge back to his room to get him ready. Rarity squealed and insisted she accompany them to show Jorge the ensemble she prepared for him. Before Jorge could have a say in the matter, Lyra insisted that she too accompany them; something about research.
“Wait, so humans don’t asexually reproduce?” asked Lyra as she and Twilight continued taking down notes.
“Lyra, where exactly did you say you got your information about humans from?”
“Mostly from myths and personal hypotheses. So is that a no?”
“Yes. And you and I really need to have a conversation about human anatomy.”
“Uh…can we talk about somethin’ else?” asked Applejack. Jorge could practically feel her blush through his armor.
“Oooh, I got a question!” cried out Midnight enthusiastically, prompting a groan from Cloud. “What kind of weapons do humans use?”
“That’s classified,” answered the human bluntly.
Midnight wrinkled her nose. “Really?”
“No, it’s just a way of saying that I don’t want to answer.”
The bat-pony harrumphed and pouted in annoyance. “You know, foals know how to respect their babysitters.”
“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not exactly used to it. Give me a few days.”
“Alright, everypony, here it is!” called out Rarity. “Ta-da!”
Jorge opened his eyes. Suspended in a blue aura next to Rarity was a suit unlike any he had ever seen. Not that he had seen many, but the point still stood. It was simple, almost deceptively so. Just a black jacket, black pant, white shirt, and a thin black tie. But what it lacked in extravagance, it more than made up for in elegance. Streamlined into a slimming shape, every corner of the suit from the shoulders to the lapels were so sharp Jorge could swear it would cut through iron.
Fluttershy carefully inspected it with her hooves. “Did you hoof stitch the lapels?”
“Of course, darling. After all, it’s not everyday I’m able to create an ensemble for a new species. I wanted it to be special.”
“Oh my! And you only used one row of pick stitching? That’s bold.”
“I try,” laughed Rarity richly with a toss of her mane. “So Jorge, what do you think.”
Jorge shook his head. “It’s gorgeous…”
“Why thank you, darling. See, I knew you—“
“…but.”
Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. “But…but what, darling?” she asked, dreading the answer.
“But I’m going to wear my armor for the meeting.”
The dressmaker wrinkled her nose in distaste. “But…but this is going to be a meeting of Royals! You can’t possibly wear that…that…”
Jorge narrowed his eyes as if to say that she should pick her next few words carefully.
“…that… uh… rugged ensemble. You’re an honored guest, and armor wouldn’t be befitting for such an esteemed dignitary.”
“What’s wrong with armor?” whispered Midnight to Cloud, earning a shrug.
“Thank you, but flattery will get you nowhere,” deadpanned Jorge. Besides, I know a charming group of guard who would disagree.
Sensing that flattery would get her nowhere, Rarity decided to change her tactics. She brought a hoof to her forehead and sighed dramatically. “Oh woe is me! I slaved away over a sewing machine for hours, nay, days, and it was all for naught! But oh well, if you want to wear your armor instead, I suppose that’s fine. I just —sniff— wanted to make something —sniff— something special for you.”
And thus, the record for most eye rolls performed in a single room was shattered.
“Oh my,” gasped Fluttershy, the only abstainer from said record. “Please don’t cry, Rarity. I… oh dear… I’ll wear it if you want.”
“Sugarcube, she’s only bein’ dramatic, which reminds me. Can ah get some butter for that corn, Rarity?”
Rarity shot Applejack a quick glare before sniffing again and looking pitifully at Jorge.
The Spartan didn’t find the unicorn’s antics as amusing as her friends did. “No.”
Undeterred, Rarity pulled out a pair of puppy dog eyes and pouted. “Pweeeaaase?”
“Oh come one, Jorgie!” shouted Pinkie Pie, hopping next to Rarity. “Just look at her! Wear the suit, you’ll look super in it.” Edged on by her pink friend, Rarity quivered her lip and gave the Jorge the cutest look she could muster.
“Are you drooling?” asked Midnight incredulously with a glance to her partner.
Cloud coughed awkwardly and blushed. “S-shut up.”
Jorge however, was still not amused. “You both seem to forget that I spent the better part of two days with the Cutie-Mark Crusaders.”
“Drat,” muttered Rarity. She glared at the human. “Am I going to have to hold you down and force it on?”
One of Jorge’s eyebrows rose. “Is that a threat?”
“Of course not, darling,” laughed Rarity good-naturedly before muttering ‘at least, not yet,’ to herself.
“Jorge, you should think about this,” said Twilight. “Wearing something a little more formal would show respect. It could help make things go smoother.”
Jorge stared at the suit, lost in thought. He grabbed ahold of one of the sleeves and rubbed in between his fingers. The fine fabric felt foreign in his thick fingers.
“Even if I wanted to wear it, I don’t think I’d be able to afford it.”
Rarity blinked in confusion and started laughing. “My dear, you thought I would charge you for this? Don’t be absurd, I wouldn’t dream of it. This is a gift.”
“You’d just give this to me? This must be worth a fortune.”
The unicorn waved her hoof dismissively. “Believe me darling, it’s a pleasure.”
Jorge looked down at the soft wool in his hand. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this,” he said, pushing it away.
Rarity her hoof on the humans knee and gave him a reassuring smile. “Please Jorge, I insist. The only thing I ask him return is that you try it on.”
The girls gave Jorge encouraging nods. He sighed, taking the suit in his arms. “Alright,” was all he said as he shut the bathroom door behind him.
The Spartan looked at his pistol and combat knife with a frown, and searched the bathroom for a place to put it. He eventually settled on the cabinet over the sink. He knew he couldn’t carry a weapon into the meeting, but that didn’t make him feel better about leaving his best means of defence behind.
Hesitantly, he took off his armor bit by bit, and pulled the white shirt on. The fabric was cool to the touch, and a quick shiver ran down his back. He fumbled with the buttons for a few minutes before giving up and slipping on the pants. He put on the jacket and tackled the shirt again, this time managing to button it. Everything was a perfect fit, almost like his armor. Jorge brought the tie up to his neck.
That’s when it hit him.
He had never tied a tie before.
The soldier looked in the mirror.
His suit was black, bright.
His eyes were haggard.
A culmination of artistic genius.
A face, aged by years of hardship.
Shining luxury, which made his body handsomely finesse.
Deep wrinkles that forever gave him a tired frown.
Smooth, elegant.
Hard, unflinching.
I don’t know how to tie a tie…
Jorge didn’t know how long he stood there clutching the tie like a lost child, but eventually a loud whisper from outside made him blink and sigh.
He stepped out to a chorus of gasps.
“Darling, you look absolutely stunning!” breathed Rarity. She inspected him from top to bottom and tsked. “Oh, but you buttoned it wrong.”
“I did?” Jorge looked down, as far as he could tell he had fastened every button.
“They’re all miss-matched, and your collar is popped. Here, allow me.”
The Spartan felt a familiar tingle as Rarity used her magic to fix his shirt and put on his tie.
“Ah gotta say Jorge, you clean up nice,” said Applejack, to nods of approval from the rest of the girls.
“Uh, thanks. I don’t suppose you have any shoes for me?” He gestured to the MJOLNIR boots that were still on his feet.
“Oh dear. I’m sorry, but that’s not my forte. I’m sure we could go into the city and find a blacksmith to fix some up for you.”
Jorge was about to ask what she was talking about when a knock came from the door. It swung open and Cadence popped her head through.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but…” She trailed off and blinked in surprise when she got a look at Jorge. “My, look at you.”
He muttered an unenthusiastic ‘thanks.’
“I know!” bubbled Pinkie. “Jorgie’s all dressed up. Soon we won’t be able to tell him apart from all these fancy Canterlot ponies.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, Pinkie,” laughed Twilight with a roll of her eyes.
Pinkie looked at Twilight in confusion before nodding in understanding. “Oh right, the boots.”
Cloud and Midnight stared at Pinkie in disbelief. The stallion opened his mouth to say something, but was silenced by a shake of the head from Jorge.
“Don’t even try,” grumbled the soldier. “That way lies in madness.” He turned his attention to Cadence, who was waiting patiently by the door. “Yes?”
“I don’t mean to interrupt. But we’re ready for you.”
Jorge felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach. “Right, let’s get this over with.”
“Good luck Jorgie, remember to smile.”
“Yeah, just give ‘em uh taste uh yer charmin’ personality and you’ll be just fine,” teased Applejack.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” deadpanned Jorge, a grin tugging at his lips.
“You’ll be fine, darling. You look stunning.”
“And we’ll be waiting for you when you're done,” offered Twilight.
Lyra nodded and pointed her hoof at Jorge.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“I’m trying to give you a thumbs up.”
Jorge snorted in amusement. “Alright,” he said, nodding to Cadence. “Let’s go.”
The two made their way down the hall and were quickly joined by Midnight and Cloud, who flanked Jorge and Cadence at both sides.
“You two are joining us?”
“Yes, orders from Celestia,” answered Cloud brusquely.
“Plus, moral support and all that,” joked Midnight. “Not that you’ll need it from the looks of it. Only one week and already friends with the Elements of Harmony. You sure know how to get around.”
“Don’t forget all those new friends who wanted to stab me back in the barracks,” grumbled the Spartan.
Cadence shot him a vexed look, but didn’t say anything. The group made their way through twisted corridors and up spiral staircases, and Jorge eventually came to the conclusion that the only way the ponies were able to navigate through the labyrinth was with magic.
“Nervous yet?” asked Cadence, trying to break the tedium.
“Still just anxious,” answered Jorge with a shake of his head.
“It’s okay to be nervous you know. I certainly am.”
“Believe me, it takes a bit more to make me me nervous.”
That sparked Cadence’s curious. “Like what, pray tell?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“But now I’m curious.”
Jorge looked at Cadence with hard eyes. “Believe me, you do not want to know.”
Cadence swallowed a lump in her throat and stayed quiet after that.
The group rounded a corner and came to a wooden door. It was a simple door, plainly carved and chipped with age. The metal bolts had long since rusted and the wood wasn’t even polished; quite out of place in such a lavishly decorated Castle.
“Here were are,” announced Cadence.
“Is this it?”
“Were you expecting something else?”
Jorge eyed the small door. It looked barely big enough to fit him. “It’s just that everything else in this castle is so…extravagant.”
Cadence smiled. “I know what you mean. I was pretty confused when Aunty Celestia told me this was where we were hosting the meeting. This is one of the oldest rooms in the castle.”
“Is it supposed to be symbolic or something?”
Cadence shrugged. “I don’t know. She likes being cryptic. Sometimes I honestly think she just likes feeling smarter than everyone else.”
Jorge snorted and grinned. “Yeah, I used to know someone like that.”
Cadence stared at the door at the door, lost in thought. She took a deep breath and looked seriously at Jorge. “Ready?”
Jorge shrugged. “I’ve been through worse. So what exactly is this going to entail?”
Cadence gave another enigmatic shrug. “They’re just going to ask you a few questions. Learn a little bit about you, about your species. I can’t say for certain. You're about to become a global figure, Jorge.”
“I’m a Spartan,” he muttered. “I’m used to it.”
Even though she didn’t quite understand what he meant, Cadence nodded. She knocked on the door before opening it, and they both stepped through.
It’s like a mythological petting zoo.
That was the first thought that crossed the human’s mind when he got a good look at the group of creatures before him, the second being an acknowledgment of how naked he suddenly felt without his armor on. A suit was well and good, but he would quickly regret it if one of the many horns, fangs, or talons present in the room found itself piercing his flesh.
Before he took a good look at arguably the most powerful beings in this new world he found himself on, the human found his attention being drawn to the room.
‘Oldest room in the castle’ was right. It resembled the corridor Jorge had accidently eavesdropped Celestia in the other day. Unpolished stone rather than marble. Cold, damp feel that reached his bones, especially out of his MJOLNIR. Old fashioned torches and candles in place for lighting. All that was needed was a few cobwebs, a thunderstorm, and an old tree rasping its branches against a window to complete the gothic horror aesthetic.
A loud cough drew his gaze to the long table at the end of the room, and, more importantly, to the assortment of creatures sitting behind it. Seated at the center, heading the meeting, were Celestia and Luna, both keeping stoic facades. Cadence stepped past Jorge and took a seat between the Lunar Princess and a colorful horse.
Wow… no wonder they got annoyed when I called them horses, thought Jorge as he examined the equine. It looked like someone with a cruel sense of humor decided to dip a regular Earth horse in a bucket of dark blue paint and adorned it with colorful gems and silk garments. Behind it, and elderly camel in a white turban whispered something to the horse in a what vaguely sounded like Farsi, but Jorge wasn’t sure.
The Spartan took a moment to examine each of the attendees carefully. Next to the odd Middle Eastern looking pair were two griffins. Both were elders. The griffin at the table had a greying plumage, and was wearing both a gaudy robe and an excited, awestruck grin. The second was a brown griffin with a pair of round spectacles resting on his beak. His eyes glinted with unbridled curiosity as he eyed Jorge.
A trio of Zebras wearing gold rings on their necks sat next to Celestia, whispering quietly among themselves. A snort drew Jorge’s attention to the end of the table to a pair of enormous creatures. He immediately recognized them as minotaurs, and quickly wondered why he hadn’t noticed them sooner. Standing at almost eight feet, they were both as tall as he; and that was barring the horns, which easily added an extra foot.
Jorge couldn’t help but gawk. The minotaur seated at the table was taller than his companion behind him. He wore a gold nose ring and a red cape, but otherwise was completely bare. While most of the other beings at the table eyed Jorge with varying degrees of wonder, interest, or incredulity, the minotaur pierced him with a look of pure, genuine loathing. Jorge looked up to his horns.
Those look sharp, he said as he swore he could feel a breeze flowing through the very, very, very thin wool that made up his coat.
The second minotaur was dressed similarly to his larger counterpart, meaning barely dressed at all. He also wore a nose ring that was bronze rather than gold. He had an iron medallion around his neck with a symbol Jorge couldn’t make out, and shackles around his wrists. The most glaring feature however, was his horn. There was only one. His left horn was missing, and in it’s place and ivory stump that looked like it had been whittled down and smoothed over. The maimed minotaur gave Jorge an unnervingly emotionless look.
Finally, the last ‘delegate’ was sitting at the other end of the table, a healthy space between it and the others. And Jorge could see why. The creature looked like something that crawled out of a child’s nightmare. It was vaguely pony shaped, almost like one of the alicorns present, except horribly mangled and distorted. Its body was covered with black chitin, and it’s horn was jagged and bent violently. Its hooves were full of holes, and its wings resembled those of a dragonfly. The monster’s fangs curved as it smiled hungrily at Jorge, and it’s eyes beamed as though it had just been presented with fresh prey.
Which pretty much summed up how Jorge felt at the moment.
“Please, take a seat,” ordered Celestia formally.
Jorge was tempted to refuse, but ultimately obliged the Princess. Midnight and Cloud took their place next to the door.
“Allow me to present the delegates to today’s meeting. Representing the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence. I believe you two are already acquainted.”
Jorge shot the pink alicorn a surprised glance. She mouthed the words ‘you didn’t ask’ apologetically.
Celestia nodded to the horse colorful horse next to her. “Sultan Khaled Almali of Saddle Arabia.”
The camel behind the King coughed loudly, and Celestia rolled her eyes. “My apologies, I meant to say, His Royal Benevolence Sultan Khaled Almali, shining jewel of Saddle Arabia.”
Jorge however, didn’t hear the full title. His mind was still trying to process the ridiculous pun. Saddle Arabia? Saddle. Arabia?
“King Aile Rapide of Gry—”
The grey griffin vaulted over his desk excitedly and sized up the human excitedly. “Ha, bully!” He lifted Jorge’s massive arm and inspected carefully, tracing his claws along the human’s suit. “A human of flesh and blood. Bully! This is absolutely remarkable.”
Jorge pulled back his arm in irritation just as Jocelyn cleared her throat. “Your Majesty, would you care to rejoin us.”
“Ah yes.” Aile bowed respectfully. “My apologies.” He returned to his seat wearing a gleeful grin and looking back at Jorge from over his shoulder.
The ambassador shook his head and motioned for Celestia to continue.
The Princess coughed awkwardly. “Yes well, continuing… Elder Zulla, representing the united clans of Zebraica.”
The Zebra next to Celestia said nothing, keeping a level gave with the seated human while her consorts whispered furiously behind her.
“King Iron Fist of Ethnos.”
The massive minotaur’s glower intensified.
“And finally, Queen Chrysalis of the changeling badlands,” finished Celestia, her voice growing cold. Each one of the delegates shifted uncomfortably when Chrysalis’ name had been mentioned, but Jorge didn’t notice.
In fact, he was still distracted by one glaring detail.
“Now, let us comme—”
“Saddle Arabia?” muttered the human incredulously, cutting the Princess off. As soon as he spoke, the rulers bristled in surprise, and started muttering among themselves excitedly.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, where did you say they were from?” Jorge gestured to the blue horse.
“Saddle Arabia,” answered Celestia.
“That’s ‘Saddle’, as in, the things you wear?”
“Yes…” said the Princess unsurely. “Why?”
Jorge shook his head. “Just checking,” he muttered. Just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse.
“Ha, this is truly fantastic!” cooed the grey griffin in what Jorge swore sounded like a French accent. “It appears as though you were not playing us for fools after all. Your little human looks real as the flesh on my bones!” The ageing king smiled to said human. “Care to present yourself?”
Jorge glanced at the rest of the creatures. They leaned forward expectantly, hanging on his every word. It felt bizarre.
“Jorge zero five two,” he said, turning his attention to the king. “Pleasure.”
“Believe me Monsieur, the pleasure is all mine,” laughed the griffin king giddily. “Oh this is simply marvelous! That is quite an interesting name, if I may say so.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot.”
The blue horse next to Celestia whispered something into the camel’s ear, who nodded and cleared his throat.
“The Great and Benevolent Sultan Almali wishes to ask the creature a question.”
“That creature has a name, Ambassador,” said Luna stiffly, earning a surprised glance from Jorge. The camel turned his nose up at the Princess and looked down at her condescendingly.
“My apologies your 'Majesty,' but the Wonderful and Magnanimous Sultan Almali was addressing your sister.”
“You may ask, Sultan,” said Celestia. “And need I remind you that Princess Luna is heading this meeting as much as I?”
The Sultan whispered something in the camel’s ear.
“Pardon us, your Majesty,” said the translator somewhat begrudgingly before turning his attention back to the human. “The Great and Wonderful Sultan Almili wishes to know where your kind resides, and how you have managed to… avoid detection for so long.”
Once again, the delegates all leaned forward with interest. Even the alicorns looked curious at what Jorge would say.
“I don’t know where we live,” he said after much thought. “At least, not relative to your world. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m in the same universe as you…” God knows what that damn slipspace drive pulled. “…all I can say is that the reason you never found us before is because we don’t exactly reside on this planet.”
Whispering erupted among the rulers, save for the minotaurs, who continued brooding in silence.
“How is it that you arrived then?” asked the zebra.
Jorge shrugged. “I’m not sure myself. I blew something up, and woke up in someone’s basement. Ta-da.”
“And is there any possibility of more of your kind arriving. Perhaps, establishing some sort of diplomatic relations with your government?”
At this, the Minotaur King visibly tensed.
“Not likely.” Jorge’s eyes flickered over to the strange insect looking creature. It licked its razor sharp teeth and grinned maliciously at him; like it knew something he didn’t.
The Sultan once again whispered something to his consort, who promptly cleared his throat. “The Brilliant and Enlightened Sultan Almili wishes to know your purpose here, human.”
“Excuse me?”
“Why are you here?” asked the Zebra known as Zulla.
Jorge snorted. “I’ve been asking myself that same question since day one,” he grumbled.
The minotaur king shot up from his chair and slammed his fist on the stone table. “Enough!” he bellowed, voice deep and commanding. “I cannot tolerate any more of this farce. First you insult us by housing this abomination in our diplomatic quarters, and now you sit here and drink his lies like fools. ”
His quarters? That explains all the warm décor.
“As I already explained Iron Fist, that was the only room in the western towers that could fit him,” explained Celestia calmly.
The Minotaur scowled. He pointed to Jorge with burning eyes. “I am sick of all your deceit. What is your true purpose here?”
Jorge’s eyes narrowed and his hand slid down to a pistol he wasn’t wearing. “I just told you.”
“Lies,” spat the enraged minotaur. “What is your true purpose here, sky child? You will tell me.”
“Or what?” challenged Jorge.
The veins on the King’s forehead looked like they were about to burst. With a mighty heave, he flipped the massive stone table and charged up to Jorge until the two were but mere millimeters from each other.
“Or I swear on Pateras’ grave that I will cast you back down to the foul depths of Tartarus from whence you came,” he seethed, ignoring the cries of protest from Celestia and the other delegates.
Jorge’s face-hardened. “I’d like to see you try you malformed cow.”
The air between the two giants sparked. But before either of the two could throw a blow, the maimed minotaur materialized behind his king from out of nowhere. He placed a massive hand on his ruler’s shoulder, and whispered something in his ear.
Hesitation twinkled in the brutish giant’s eyes as they darted from Jorge to his partner. The one-horned minotaur continued whispering, unfazed by either of the two would-be combatants. Finally, the King’s muscles slackened, and he took a step away from the human. Giving one more disgruntled snort, he turned returned to his seat without a word, followed closely by his partner. Jorge glanced over at Celestia, who was glancing between he and the minotaurs uncertainly, horn glowing at the ready.
And then Jorge heard possibly the last thing he expected to hear at that moment:
Laughter.
All eyes turned to the insectoid creature at the end of the table, who cackled madly. The sound made Jorge’s skin crawl, and he suddenly understood why everyone had chosen to sit away from her. At least, it sounded like a ‘her.’
“Oh that was impressive,” she said, regaining her breath. “Particularly considering that he finds you as threatening as a foal, Iron Fist. I suppose that’s one thing we have in common.”
“Silence, changeling,” fumed Steel.
The ‘changeling’ grinned. “He is telling the truth, by the way. So I don’t believe your gods will have much of a problem with him. I’m sure this must come as quite a disappointment.”
Steel glanced between the changeling and Jorge. “You had better not be jesting, changeling.”
“I assure you as entertaining as it would be to watch you try to murder him, I am being truthful. As is he.”
“You can taste this?” asked Luna with thinly veiled suspicion.
The changeling nodded. “It’s as bitter as his current hate for the minotaur.”
“And you are?” asked Jorge, trying to make out what everyone was talking about.
“How rude of me. I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings.”
Cadence scoffed. “Do you have a question, or are you simply planning on feeding off him?” she snapped venomously.
The changeling’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Are we still sore about our little tiff, Princess? I am so sorry you feel that way. If it’s any consolation, your husband was not as easy to manipulate as I thought it would be. But when I did, it was quite worth the effort,” she purred, poison oozing from every syllable.
Cadence snapped up, wings flared and horn crackling dangerously. Celestia covered her with a wing and shook her head. The pink alicorn grit her teeth and sat back down, glaring toxically at the Queen. The rest of the rulers all stiffened angrily, but the Queen easily ignored them.
“But now that you mention, I do have something I’d like to ask the human.” She turned her attention back to Jorge. “Tell me, human. Had the minotaur struck a blow, would you have been willing to killed him?”
Unlike most of the rulers in the room, Jorge didn’t flinch. His scowl didn’t falter as he remained silent.
Chrysalis’ lips curled upward into a Cheshire smile. “That’s what I thought.” She sat back down, seemingly satisfied.
Jorge was still staring at the changeling Queen when Celestia cleared her throat and suggested the questions continue.
“I have an inquiry to discuss,” spoke up Zulla, the leader of the Zebra’s. “Tell me human, does your species know of us?”
“In a sense.”
“It would ease my curiosity’s pain, if you cared to explain.”
Jorge blinked. Is she rhyming on purpose? “Are you rhyming on purpose?”
“Never mind about the rhyming. Our accent is one of timing.”
That’s one hell of an accent. “What I mean is, we have vague ideas of your existence through our myths and legends, but we don’t know that you exist.”
“The celestial and gentle Sultan Almali demands to know what you mean by myths and legends.”
“You’re all fictional; creatures from lore that one of our more influential civilizations made up thousands of years ago. Like how humans are a part of your stories, it works both ways I guess.”
This caused some mild surprised among the delegates.
“How is this possible, Auntie?” asked Cadence. “There’s no way it can be merely a coincidence.”
“I’m not sure,” admitted the Princess. “Perhaps something to do with magical frequency linking our worlds.”
“I really doubt that, considering there’s no magic where I come from.”
This caused some fierce surprise among the delegates.
“No magic? What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Aile.
“It means there’s no magic,” repeated Jorge. “Again, just a myth.”
“That can’t be possible,” said Cadence. “Every living creature poses magic in some form or another.”
“Well we do not.”
“Half-dead, abominations,” sneered Iron Fist. “What else but a creature from Kingdom of the Dead have no magic?”
Jorge scowled. “Go back to your labyrinth.”
“It’s true,” said Celestia hastily, before the Minotaur could retort. “While Jorge is affected by magic, as far as we can tell he cannot manipulate it in any way.”
The delegates seemed to to take Celestia at her word, although they were still trying to wrap their heads around the idea of a magic-less world.
The rest of the meeting went by without much of a hitch. It actually reminded Jorge of a standard debriefing he would go through after missions. The delegates would ask him simple questions about him and his culture. When the line of inquiry skirted dangerously near the topic of human military prowess, he was quick to quash it with the typical yet oh so infuriating ‘that’s classified.’ Even Iron Fist managed to throw in a question or two in a tone other than suppressed fury, although he failed to cease his endless brooding.
As smooth as the proceedings went, Jorge’s eyes never strayed too far from the Changeling Queen, who maintained a silent grin throughout.
Finally, once all the delegates were satisfied, Celestia formally introduced Jorge and his race to their world, much to the grudging approval of a few, and the deliberations were declared concluded.
Jorge left the room alongside Cadence. Cloud and Midnight led him through the halls to a foyer, where a familiar group of ponies were waiting for him.
“Look, there they are!” shouted Pinkie happily, interrupting an intense tic-tac-toe game between her and Rarity.
“Have you all been waiting for me this whole time?”
“Why of course, darling. This is the whole reason we’re here after all.”
“How was it?” asked Applejack.
Jorge shrugged. “It was… anticlimactic. Boring, actually.” Almost wished I punched that damn minotaur just to make things more exciting.
“You expected a political deliberation to be thrilling?” asked Cadence.
Jorge rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, when those involved are mythological aliens, yes. I suppose politics is something universally dull.”
“Couldn’t agree more.”
Jorge turned around to find Chrysalis standing at the entrance to the room, wearing the same smirk.
Everypony present immediately tensed, and Jorge’s two guards put themselves between him and the changeling.
“You!” snarled Twilight, charging her horn along with Rarity and Cadence. Applejack shifted her hooves as if she was preparing to charge, and Pinkie Pie growled as she aimed a colorful cannon at the Queen. Fluttershy just squeaked and hid behind one of Jorge’s legs and quivered.
“Hello, Twilight. Long time no see.”
“Not long enough,” spat the unicorn.
“What are you doing here, Chrysalis?” asked Cadence. “The meeting is over, you can run back to whatever pit you crawled out of.”
Chrysalis’ smirk didn’t falter. “Sorry about that comment about your husband, Cady.” Cadence flinched at the word. “I’ll be the first to admit that it was a tad uncalled for. However, I’m not only here to apologize. I was actually hoping to have a word with your large friend. In private.”
Cadence looked surprise. “Why?”
“That’s his concern, not yours.”
The mares shook their heads at Jorge; even Pinkie Pie sounded like she was growling in anger at Chrysalis. He looked back at the Queen, who waited patiently.
“Alright,” he answered, slowly. “Ten minutes.”
“I only need five,” assured the Queen, heading out into the hall. Jorge waved Cloud and Midnight down, and followed until he found himself in a secluded hallway, away from prying eyes.
“Alright, what do you want from me?”
The changeling turned around and shrugged. “Truthfully, I was hoping to manipulate you for my own personal gain, but it’s quickly become clear that’s not going to be possible. That bitch Celestia put so many wards here my magic is all but useless. Besides, you like these ponies too much for that anyways.”
Jorge squeezed his fist so hard his knuckles whitened. “Is this a joke?”
“Hardly,” laughed the changeling, he voice like nails on chalkboard. “I can taste it.”
“Taste it?”
“M’hmm,” she purred. “Changelings have the innate ability to sense and literally taste emotions. Positive emotions, such as love and joy, are a natural stimulant for us.”
“So you’re saying you can taste my emotions?”
“Correct.”
“Bullshit,” spat Jorge immediately.
The changeling smirked. “I didn’t expect you to believe me. Especially when you explained there was no magic in your world.”
“Okay, so you can 'taste' my emotions, so what?”
Chrysalis began circling the human like a predator. “You are the most interesting creature I’ve ever savored. Such a mixture of anger; it practically oozes out of you. You have more raw emotion than any of these ponies. Rage, frustration…pain.” The last word slivered out of her tongue like a vice. “I cannot possibly imagine what you must have gone through to have of it, but I can taste it. I know everything about you, Jorge. I can taste how afraid you are. How weak you feel.” She brought her lips close to the human’s ear. “And it tastes delicious.”
Jorge’s hand whipped out and tightened around the changeling’s neck. She gasped and flailed against his hand helplessly, but the human just tightened his grip. He jerked the changeling off the ground and brought her face-to-face. “You don’t know anything about me,” he seethed before dropping her.
The changeling coughed and tried to regain her breath. Jorge looked down at his hand to see it covered in blood, cut from the Queen’s chitin.
“It’s been five minutes,” growled Jorge before turning around and heading back.
“Wait!” coughed Chrysalis, causing Jorge to stop. “The I need to tell you something.”
“I’ve heard enough.”
“You’d be remiss not to listen.” Something in the changeling’s voice caused the human to stop in his tracks. Chrysalis took it as a sign to proceed. “Iron Fist, he doesn’t like you.”
“Really? What was your first clue, the fact that he tried to fight me in the middle of a political meeting or his sunny disposition?”
“He doesn’t like you,” repeated the Queen, ignoring Jorge’s jibe. “But he’s not the one you should worry about. The one-horned one. He’s dangerous.” The changeling queen shuddered. “I tasted nothing from him…just…cold, like drinking water. There’s something wrong with him.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“You’re the most interesting thing to occur here in centuries. I’d hate to see something happen to you,” the Queen smiled baring her teeth. “And like I said, your emotions are sublime.” With that, the changeling left the human to mull over what she had said.
Crazy bug, he thought before returning to the foyer where he had left the others. They were quick to pounce him the moment he walked through the door.
“What happened!?” “What did that ghastly witch want!?” “Was it scary?” “You okay, Jorgie?”
Jorge looked to see his palm still oozing out blood, staining the cuffs of his new shirt.
Lyra barreled through the crowd gathered around Jorge, sending Princesses and guards alike tumbling to the ground. “What!? What happened to his han—!?” The unicorn froze when she saw his bloodied fingers. “W-wha…?” was all she managed to giber.
“Did she do that to you?” demanded Cadence furiously.
“No, I—.”
“I’ll kill her!” screeched Lyra, eyes blazing with furry. She rushed off down the hall, horn sparkling menacingly and mouth frothing with bloodlust…
…at least, she would have had Jorge not quickly grabbed onto her tail and tugged her back.
“Lyra, stopped acting silly,” he chided calmly. “Chrysalis didn’t attack me or anything.”
“Well then what happened?” asked Cadence.
“That’s not important,” said Jorge rather uncomfortably, embarrassed he lost his temper. “It’s nothing.”
“Jorge, of ‘course this is important!” exclaimed Applejack. “You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing.” Try getting shot point blank by a concussion rifle. Now that hurt.
“It’s not nothin’, now tell us what happened.”
Jorge rubbed his nape awkwardly. “She… upset me, so I choked her and her skin cut me.”
Silence.
To say that the mares were left nonplused would be a gross understatement; but in all fairness, it was the most bizarre sounding thing he had done in over an hour.
After some time of gawking and trying to process what she had heard, Cadence cleared her throat and nodded. “Well done,” she said, her tone formal.
Now it was Jorge’s turn to look confused, but before he could say anything, he felt a gentle prod on his leg.
“Um… may I look at your hand?” whispered Fluttershy. “I mean… if you’re okay with it.”
“Sure.”
The pegasus beamed, and she began prodding the wound with surprising gentleness. “It doesn’t look too deep.” She frowned. “But if we don’t get it treated soon it could get infected. ”I have some bandages in my room.”
“Sounds good.”
“Oooh, and afterwards we simply must show you around the city,” said Rarity.
Jorge frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? A riot is the last thing I need.”
“Don’t worry, as long as I’m with you there shouldn’t be a problem,” assured Cadence.
Jorge thought about it for a moment, before nodding. “Fine, but on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
The Spartan’s features became resolute.
“I want my armor.”
“The entire city?”
“Yup, pretty much. It was a mess, but fortunately nopony was seriously injured.”
“But I don’t get it, how did you manage to drive them away?”
“Cadence and Shining used their love to create a massive spell to drive them all away.”
Jorge, Cadence, the six Elements, Lyra, and the two Eclipse guards were making their way down the main street in Canterlot’s commercial district, earning a fair share of odd looks as they went. Fortunately, if the Canterlot ponies were shocked and/or horrified by the sight of Jorge (which, considering the number of popped monocles and dramatic gasps, was almost certain), they carried themselves with all the poise Jorge expected of pompous socialites. I.e., not outright screaming and grabbing the nearest pitchforks, but still hastily crossing to the other side of the street when they approached.
Still, it was a monstrous improvement over Ponyville’s initial reaction to him, so he was thankful for that much at least.
“Wait a minute,” interrupted Jorge as he and the group of mares walked down one of the city’s many cobbled streets. “Did you say love?”
“Yeah, why?” asked Twilight, confused at Jorge’s disbelieving grin.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Excuse me?”
“My sense of disbelief has taken quite a bashing since I’ve gotten here. Talking hor— ponies, griffins, dragons, magic… all that I can process. But do you really expect me to believe that your brother and sister-in-law managed to drive off an entire army using the power of love?”
“It’s true,” drawled Applejack. “We were all there. We saw it happen.”
Jorge just snorted and shook his head.
“What about it is so hard to believe?” asked Twilight, annoyed. “Magical energy can take the shape of intense emotion, so it’s scientifically sound.”
“The fact that you used the word ‘scientifically’ in that phrase offends me.” He looked at some of the pedestrians gawking at him and mumbled. “Besides, life just isn’t that easy.”
“Come on guys!” called out Lyra excitedly from ahead. “Hurry up.” She rushed into a store alongside Cadence and the group followed.
The shop was an absolute mess. Nick-knacks lined the walls and filled overflowing barrels and boxes. The floor was covered in amulets and décor for sale that were so tacky they made the royal carriage look chic. Light reluctantly creaked in through boarded up windows, as if it was afraid of the dark, and Jorge reckoned that the air was ninety percent dust.
So it was, in essence, your standard shady antique store.
“Who designated Lyra leader?” deadpanned Jorge.
“Hey, how was I supposed to know this place was going to suck!?”
“The boarded up windows and the fact it was down a deserted alley were pretty obvious red flags to me,” answered the human, glancing at his motion tracker.
“I concur,” whined Rarity, desperately trying not to touch anything that would sully her coat, which was pretty much everything. “This place is absolutely horrid.”
“Actually, I picked it,” explained Cadence, staring fondly at some of the wind chimes hanging next to the counter.
Rarity paled and laughed nervously. “Uh…what I meant was…uh…horridly lovely!”
“Smooth,” whispered Applejack, earning a quick glare from the unicorn.
“Yes, smooth.”
Everyone jumped in surprise, and Fluttershy rushed behind Jorge’s legs for shelter as they turned their attention to a grey stallion with a long, oriental-looking ponytail who now stood behind the counter. He gave Rarity an annoyed glance.
“My shop has been described many things, but I must say that ‘horrifically lovely’ is definitely the most… colorful compliment it’s gotten.
“Bric!” greeted Cadence, nuzzling the old earth pony.
“It’s good to see you again, Cady,” he smiled.
“Guys, this is Bric- à-Brac. He’s an old family friend.”
“Yes, Cadence used to spend her days in my store breaking my merchandise.”
“That only happened once!”
“A week,” quipped Bric.
Cadence pouted playfully, causing Bric to chuckle. His eyes wandered to Jorge, and quickly lit up. “My, the famed human from the news. What an honor.”
“Honor?” asked Jorge, his voice tinged with skepticism.
The stallion nodded. “But of course. I deal with antiquities and rarities from far off lands. And you, sir, are currently the rarest and farthest travelled article on the face of the planet. Tell me, have you ever considered going into the antiquity business?”
“No selling my guests, Bric,” chided Cadence with a roll of her eyes.
“Drat, very well. Feel free to enjoy my store.” The bespectacled stallion masked his face with a hoof and began talking in a deep, mysterious voice. “But be warned. The artifacts in my possession are not to be trifled with! They are mystical items of such magical power and mystery, that their mere presence may shear the constitution of mere mortals!”
Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Jorge.
Cadence rolled her eyes again. “And no scamming them either.”
Bric dropped his façade and gave her an annoyed smile. “Fine. But only for you Cadence.”
“C’mon Jorge, I wanna see the lyres!” Lyra tugged at Jorge with his magic while the rest dispersed and browsed the store’s multitude of knick-knacks.
“What do you think of this one?”
“I don’t know, Lyra. I’m a soldier, not a lyre expert.”
“I’m taking it!”
“Don’t you want to at least look at the others? Maybe find something cheaper?”
“Oh come on, how bad could it b—” Upon seeing the five-hundred bit price tag, unicorn’s eyes rolled back into her head.
“Ah yes,” slithered Bric out of know where, making Jorge jump. “That lyre belonged to the great pirate Cloven Hoof, scourge of the Western seas. Why, this three-thousand year old artifact is probably worth thousands of bits.”
“Really?” gasped Lyra.
Bric nodded morbidly. “Yes. Selling it at such a low price will probably make me go hungry for a few days, but it’ll be worth seeing such a pretty face as yours smile.”
Lyra blushed and grinned bashfully. Jorge rolled his eyes.
“Bric, I said no scamming!” cried Cadence, who was eyeing the astronomy equipment with Twilight.
Bric sighed. “That mare… fine, the things actually five bits. You want it or not?”
“Five bits!? But what about the whole empress pirate thing?”
“I may have…enhanced the truth a bit.”
Lyra couldn’t believe her ears. “You lied to me!?”
“Not about the pretty face though,” flirted Bric with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“You lied to me!”
Jorge shook his head and wandered from the two arguing ponies. He browsed the strange objects hanging from the walls with skeptical curiosity, occasionally picking something up and toying with it briefly. Jorge reeled back as he walked face-first into one of them without realizing.
It was a willow ring that was hanging from the ceiling. A multi-colored web of thread weaved its way in the center of the ring, while feathers hung lazily from it like soft wind-chimes. Careful not to break it, Jorge strummed the threads playfully.
“Ah, I see you fancy my dream-catcher.”
Jorge jumped again as a grinning Bric appeared at his side from out of nowhere. How the hell…?
“Yes, an ancient buffalo artifact,” continued Bric. “Full of mysterious magical properties.
“I thought you weren’t supposed to scam us.”
Bric shook his head. “This is no scam. Believe it or not, I do occasionally stumble upon the odd magical McGuffin, like this dream catcher. And it can be yours for only fifty bits.”
“No thanks.”
Bric sputtered. “You’d turn down a magical object for fifty bit!? Human, to anypony else I’d charge hundreds, nay, thousands of bits.”
“I don’t believe in magic,” answered Jorge cheekily. Bric looked at him like he had gone mad.
“You should get something, Jorge,” said Cadence. “Here, let me get it for you at. Consider it a gift.”
“I already got a gift today.”
“You can get more than one gift a day,” laughed the Princess.
“Why would I even need this thing?”
“Jorge, I’m buying it for you. So you can either accept that or I can hang it in your room myself.”
“Fine,” grumbled the human.
“Great, I’ll—”
“Just make sure not to wake me when you hang it up.”
Cadence glared at the human before sighing and pulling out her coin purse.
Bric looked between the human and alicorn. “So…will you be buying it?”
“Yes,” answered Cadence.
“Excellent! Two-hundred bits.”
“What!? But you just said it was fifty.”
Bric nodded sagely. “Yes, for the human. For you, two-hundred bit.”
Cadence’s eye twitched along with her frazzled fur. She handed the vendor two hundred bit roughly and grumbled. “You know, this is why you don’t have other friends.”
“Duly noted,” he grinned, counting the bits. “Will that be all?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here before you swindle us out of more money.”
After they made their purchases, the group said their goodbyes to Bric and walked out of the antique shop satisfied. The sun was still an hour away from its parley with the horizon, and the streets were as crowded as ever.
“Alight, what do you want to do now?” asked Twilight, fiddling with her new telescope.
“We could go down to the fountains,” offered Cadence. “They’re quite lovely at sunset.”
“Oh, I haven’t seen sunset at the fountains since I was a filly,” said the lavender unicorn excitedly.
Jorge cleared his throat. “I think I’m going to head back to the castle.”
“Come on Jorgie, it’ll be fun!”
“No thank you, Pinkie. This was nice, but I’d rather just return.”
“But… I wanna see the fountains…” whined Twilight, earning an eye roll from her former babysitter.
“You can go ahead, I’ll go back on my own.”
“How’ll you find your way back?” challenged Cadence.
Cloud Skipper stepped forward. “Paladin Midnight Blossom and I will escort him, your Majesty.”
The Princess pursed her lips in reluctance, but eventually nodded. “Very well.”
“Ooh, I’ll head back with you!” offered Lyra excitedly.
Well, there goes any thoughts of having a quiet trip back, sighed Jorge mentally.
The group said their goodbyes and parted ways, Lyra excitedly chatting about the lyre she had purchased in the antique store as Cloud led them back. However, not five minutes had passed that they rounded a corner and came before a large mass of ponies blocking the main avenue.
“This wasn’t here before,” said Jorge, staring at the massive crowd of locals wandering the streets.
Cloud Skipper scowled. “I forgot about the weekly night market.”
“It’s Friday already!?” gasped Midnight Blossom excitedly. “Can we go, Cloud? It’ll be so much fun!”
“No.”
“Want to at least ask the guy we’re supposed to be leading?”
“Yeah,” said Lyra. “Let’s go, Jorge.”
“No.”
Lyra and Midnight both pouted. “You guys are no fun,” they complained in unison.
Jorge looked unto the crowded street and frowned. Stalls and stands clogged the streets much in the same manner as the Ponyville market, making it a slog for even the smallest of ponies to pass through. “It’ll take us a while to get through this.”
“Come, we’ll just take a detour,” said the stallion, pointing down one of the narrower side streets. Jorge, Lyra, and the two guards made their way down the darkened alley. The white, stone avenue gave way to sullied, cobbled streets as the group made their way deeper into the labyrinth of narrow alleys. Distorted buildings with faded paint rose and closed around them as the din of the market faded, leaving only the muffled sounds of water dripping.
“I’m surprised this city has places like this, considering how meticulous it looks,” observed Jorge, looking at the almost slum-like street.
“This is part of old Canterlot,” explained Cloud. “After Nightmare Moon’s banishment, thousands of residents from the old capital in the Everfree were left destitute. Many followed Celestia to Canterlot, and with so many new residents suddenly appearing literally overnight, these old neighborhoods sprang up to house the refugees.”
“Yeah, most of the ghettos were refurbished centuries ago,” said Midnight. “But you still have a few that everypony just forgot about running up and down the city. They’re great for getting around.”
“Or for getting mugged,” grumbled Jorge.
Up and down, left and right they went, turning corners and walking through identical alley after identical alley until Jorge longed for the maze of Canterlot. At one point, the dilapidated walls closed in so narrowly Jorge could have sworn he was back in the servants’ tunnels.
Cloud stopped in the middle of a particularly decayed alleyway and looked around nervously. “Dammit,” he muttered under his breath.
“What?” asked the human.
“We’re lost.”
“Don’t you mean you’re lost?”
“No, I’m pretty lost too,” said Midnight, casually sniffing the dank air.
Jorge sighed. Why isn’t anything ever easy? “Great, so now we’re lost in the middle of the last place anyone would want to be caught out at night in, and the sun’s setting. Any suggestions?”
“Why do you say that?” asked Cloud, an eyebrow rising curiously.
Jorge gestured all around him. “Dark slums aren’t exactly the place to inspire confidence in one’s own safety.”
The stallion snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is Canterlot, nopony would dare hurt us.”
“Oh, ah wouldn’t be so sure.”
Everyone’s eyes snapped up to the mouth of the alley ahead of them, where a dark figure stood. The pony stepped from the shadows to reveal a familiar orange earth-pony.
“Well hooowwwdy, y’all!” he greeted.
“Stout,” spat Cloud through gritted teeth. “What are you doing here?”
“What, can’t a guy just come ‘round say hi to his favorite traitors?” He flashed a lewd grin to Midnight. “Well howdy there, darlin’. Ah am just pleased as punch to see you here.” His voice became low and dangerous. “Ah never got to…thank you for playin’ with my fun bits this mornin’.”
Lyra gaped at Midnight. “You did what!?”
“It’s not what you think. I just held a knife up to his sack and almost snipped it off.”
“Oh okay— wait, YOU DID WHAT!?”
The bat pony ignored the shocked lyrist and glared Stout Shield sourly. “No thanks necessary. Now, if you’ll just let us through, I won’t have to give you sloppy seconds.” As she said this, the claws on her hoofs crackled with energy.
“No can do, darlin’” tisked the brutish stallion. “You see, ah can’t in good conscience let that you and the ape out uh here in one piece.”
Are you really suggesting you’re going to attack two officers of the Eclipse guard and a royal guest?”
“You know why nopony likes you, Cloud? Cuz you got about eighty kinds of sticks up your ass. But sticks or not, you are purty smart.”
Cloud’s eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. “Have you gone insane!?”
The stallion’s smile withered into a poisonous scowl. “No,” he snarled. “And ah’m purty sure ah’m the only one here who isn’t.”
“Not to point out the stupidly obvious,” deadpanned Midnight. “But it’s you against two Eclipse guards and a giant alien. The odds aren’t exactly in your favor.”
“Ah beg to differ.” Stout Shield brought a hoof to his lips and let out a shrill whistle. Over two dozen ponies slithered out of the shadows behind Stout, each eyeing the human hungrily. Jorge checked his motion sensor and noticed a cluster of dots appear behind them, cutting off their only means of escape.
“Yup, turns out y’all ain’t the most popular hens in the coop.”
“We have a civilian with us,” said Cloud, pointing to a frightened Lyra. “Are you seriously telling me you’re willing to let her get hurt to get to us?”
“Collateral damage,” said Stout coldly.
Jorge felt Lyra shiver against his legs. “J-Jorge?”
He looked down at the unicorn and felt anger shoot through him. “Stay close.”
“You can’t do this,” insisted Cloud. “You’re royal guards for Celestia’s sake! You can all be tried for treason for this.”
This caused the ponies to hesitate and mumble to themselves.
“Treason? You’re the only traitors here!” snarled Stout Shield. “This thang, this freak attacked and nearly killed our Princess, and you’re here givin’ it a fuckin’ tour of the city! We’re doin’ our duty. It’s in our oath: ‘To protect…’”
‘“…And obey,” finished Cloud. “If you do this, you’d be disobeying an order of Celestia herself.”
“It’s for her own good.” And with that the ponies on both sides began encircling the group, stepping forward and pawing the ground anxiously.
“Dammit,” muttered Cloud under his breath. “So much for making them see reason. They must really hate you.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” waved Midnight flippantly. “Can we kill them now?”
“No.”
“Why not?” whined Midnight.
The stallion rolled his eyes. “We can’t kill them, Midnight. But we can hurt them.” He stepped forward and scowled at Stout Shield. “…badly.”
With that, he pulled out the stubby little knife at his side. The guard tapped it lightly, pressing a hidden button at the bottom of the hilt. With a loud click, the shaft expanded until the laughably small weapon became an elongated and very menacing-looking spear. Twirling it expertly, Cloud snapped it towards the oncoming ponies with a grim expression. The silver spear crackled with energy, and soon blue waves of electricity were running up and down the tip, making the assailants hesitate. Midnight took his side and sharpened her electrified claws, her psychotic grin probably deterring more of them than Cloud’s spear ever could.
Okay, that was pretty impressive, thought Jorge, admiring the spear.
“Stay back, Jorge,” ordered the gold paladin. “We’ll handle this.”
The human snorted. “Not a chance.”
“We are your escorts and it’s our duty to pro—” Before he could finish talking, Cloud noticed a blur rush towards him out of the corner of his eyes. He jumped back and parried the flailing limb with his spear, pushing his weight forward and striking the offending stallion in the chest with the butt. Hard.
Jorge heard ribs crack as the pony flew back into a pile of trash cans, his comrades helpless to do little more than watch. There was a pregnant pause, and then over a dozen ponies were upon them.
The Spartan’s shield shimmered as legs bucked at him uselessly. He was about to laugh away the paltry attacks, when one of the attacking unicorns charged up a spell and fired a bolt of lightning at him, overcharging his shields and sending a bolt of pain crashing through his body.
Jorge barrelled through the ponies surrounding him, sending them sprawling, and picked up the unicorn by the neck before bringing him down unto the cobbled ground with a sickening crack.
With lightning speed, he struck a second guard, the familiar vibration of breaking bones caressing the Spartan’s fist. Before the pony had so much as a chance to roar in agony, his jaw was met with the human’s knee guard, sending teeth and a spittle of blood into the gutter.
More spells were flung at him, and the smell of burning flesh soon mixed with the flashing warnings on his visor. He identified another group of unicorns standing at the mouth of the alley like a fire squad, firing an unrelenting barrage of magic against his impromptu shield, with bent and twisted under the force of the magic.
Jorge grabbed hold of a nearby trashcan, and with a mighty throw, the super soldier sent it flying towards the magic users, causing it to bounce harmlessly against a force-field they had conjured. But while ineffectual at causing damage, it did provide enough of a distraction for Jorge to barge through the magical wall, literally shattering in a glorious light show. The unicorns, shocked at how quickly their defenses were demolished, tried jumping back to put space between them and the enraged Spartan. But Jorge quickly reached out and gripped two of them by their necks, smashing them against one another before throwing them at their comrades with frightening force.
Meanwhile, Cloud and Midnight were each doing their best trying to fight off half a dozen assailants, Cloud wearing the same grim yet determined frown while Midnight cackled maniacally. A couple of pegasi flapped up and descended unto the pair at breakneck speed.
Midnight noticed this, her pupils contracted with bloodlust, giving her yellow eyes an almost feline expression as an unsettling grin revealed her razor sharp teeth.
“Oh no you don’t.” With a mighty flap of her leathery wings, she shot up towards the approaching air strike. She head-butted the first pegasus, making him gasp in pain, before slicing through his torso with her electrified blades. The stallion convulsed briefly before passing out and plummeting to the ground below, a trail of blood following. With astonishing agility the bat-pony composed herself and swerved around the second pegasus and landed on her back. Midnight grabbed one of the mare’s wings and twisted it. A loud crack echoed through the skies as shattered bone erupted through skin with a spatter of gore, followed by the poor mare’s shrieks of agony as she plummeted with her companion.
“I told you not to kill them,” scowled Cloud as he uppercut an earth pony square in the jaw.
“They’re alive…probably,” muttered Midnight.
Stout Shield gaped at the scene before him; his comrades were falling in droves. Letting out a furious snarl, he charged at the white Eclipse guard.
Cloud’s eyes widened when he saw three-hundred pounds of pure muscle and hatred barreling down on him. He jumped back just in time, forcing the orange guard to pivot and face him head on.
“I’ll kill you and that fuckin’ bitch of yours!” roared Stout, rearing his hooves to strike Cloud.
Cloud dodged the blow a second time, and using his dexterous wings rolled the spear on his back before striking Stout on one of his shoulders. Despite the electricity or the bone-shattering blow, Stout did little more than grunt before swiveling around and bucking Cloud in the chest. The Paladin felt the wind knocked out of him and reared back, but was quick to regain his balance. Numerous enchantments had made his armor nearly impenetrable. Yet the monstrous stallion managed to dent it like it was cardboard.
Stout charged again, leaving Cloud little time to compose himself. Sweat gleamed on his orange coat and his ragged breath tore through the air while he prepared to strike. At the last second, the pegasus slipped out of the way, swept his spear under Stout’s legs, knocking them from under him, and shoved him in his ribs.
Stout collapsed with a loud thud. Before he could get up, Cloud twirled his spear in his wings and brought it down on the brutish guard’s head with frightening force. Stout shield let out a final moan before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed, his legs twitching.
“Jorge, are you o… kay?” Cloud trailed off when he saw the pile of ponies stacked around the Jorge, who was casually watching a pair of guards feeling from him in abject terror, tails between their legs.
“Pardon?” he asked.
The Paladin gaped at the sight. The human had taken down at least three times as many enemies as he and Midnight had. “Nevermind,” he grumbled.
Midnight landed beside him and whooped. “That was fun! Can we do it again?”
“No.”
“Awww…”
Lyra cracked an eye open. “Is it over?” She hadn’t moved an inch the entire fight and miraculously remained unscathed.
Jorge knelt down and smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, it’s over.”
The pony offered a weak smile and return. One of the collapsed guards next to her moaned in pain, causing her to shriek and clobber him on the head with the antique lyre, knocking him out instantly.
“I think he’s already taken care of.”
Lyra blushed and glared at Jorge. “S-s-shut u-up,” she stuttered, still pumping with adrenaline.
Jorge took a moment to examine the scene before him.
Dozens of guards lay unconscious in the alley around them, twitching, moaning, or even bleeding profusely, while he stood among the carnage, having barely broken a sweat.
Olly olly oxen free…
There must be something said for the mentality of the military, both human and pony. From marvelously designed battlements cut from the finest marble, to the awesome might of space-faring vessel, the aesthetic purposes of the military is designed to both inspire terror and wonder. And yet, no matter what universe, planet, dimension or species, some agreement must have been made at the cradle of life stating that army offices must be the most soul-shriveling drab places in existence.
Jorge mused this as he sat on the floor outside Shining Armor’s office along with Midnight, Lyra, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony.
Shortly after having beaten the utter stuffing out of all the guards, Cloud ordered Midnight to fly to the castle to report what happened; guards were quick to arrive, and the group was escorted back to the Castle along with the semi-conscious ponies. They were greeted by the Princess and Prince Shining, who demanded an explanation and led everyone to his former office.
Now Jorge and the girls were waiting outside in the blandest waiting room in existence, waiting for Cloud and Midnight to finish with the Princesses inside.
“So let me get this straight, you took on a dozen royal guards unarmed and came out unscathed?” asked Twilight.
“Now you see why I’m reluctant to take off this armor,” deadpanned Jorge, waiting as Fluttershy changed the bandages on his hand.
Twilight shook her head. “That’s insane.”
“There. It’s not too tight is it?” asked Fluttershy.
Jorge flexed his hands experimentally and smiled. “It’s perfect.”
“I’m just so glad those brutes didn’t hurt you,” said Rarity, fanning herself.
“Darn tootin’. If ah saw one uh them varmints ah’d buck ‘em so hard…”
“Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, Applejack,” said Jorge. “But I don’t think the gesture is very necessary at this point.”
The door to the office opened, and everyone’s heads perked up. A bruised and battered Stout Shield was led out by a pair of guards, the orange earth pony screaming his head off.
“Y’all can’t do this! Ah was the only one protectin’ the Princesses from this fuckin’ thang!” The guards at his side roughly pushed him forward. “Yer all traitors! It’s a Celestia-damned human for Tartatus’ sake!”
The hysterical pony was forced down the hall, but stopped next to Jorge.
“This ain’t over,” he seethed into the human’s face. “Ya hear me? Ah don’t care what they say, ah’ll always be a guard, and ah’ll make sure you fuckin’ pay fer what you did to the Princess.”
“Shut up,” ordered one of the armored ponies before shoving him down. The pony remained silent until he disappeared from view.
The girls looked very perturbed. Jorge slightly less so.
“Well, that was interesting.”
“How you can be so calm is beyond me,” shivered Rarity. “What an awful, foul-mouthed pony.”
Jorge shrugged. “What’s he going to do? I’m twice his size.”
“Yeah, and Jorgie’s not gonna take any sass from nopony!”
That caused the Spartan to grin. “Exactly right, Pinkie.”
Midnight popped her head through the doorway. “Princesses want to see you now, Jorge.”
The human got up and walked into the room. Unsurprisingly, it was far more elegant that the room outside. Shining sat behind a grand oak desk, a somber expression etching his features. The three Princesses, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence stood beside him, while on the other side was a stallion Jorge didn’t recognize. Jorge took his place in front of the desk, next to Cloud and Midnight.
“My sister and I would like to formally apologize to you, Jorge,” said Celestia, forgoing a greeting.
One of the Spartan’s eyebrows rose.
“We assured your security for the duration of your stay here, and we’ve failed to keep this promise. We beg your forgiveness.” Celestia and her sister hung their heads, earning surprised looks from Shining and the Paladins.
Jorge was momentarily taken aback by such a display of humility. It was short-lived. “I would have thought you would have been able to keep a handle on your own soldiers,” he said distastefully.
At this, the Princess’ frown deepened. “My guards are quite devoted to my sister and I. Sometimes this can become… extreme. However, this is the first time they’ve ever disobeyed my orders so flagrantly and violently.”
“What happened to them, by the way?”
“I have dishonorably discharged them and have ordered they be expelled and banned from the Castle,” explained Shining sharply. This earned an annoyed cough from the stallion at his side, causing him to blush slightly. “I’m sorry, what I meant to say was Commander Prescience has dishonorably discharged them.”
“Aye, with extreme prejudice,” said the stallion in what Jorge swore was a Scottish accent. “And ah woulda court marshaled the bastards too if mister la-di-da the prince over here woulda let me.”
“Excuse me, and you are?”
The strange stallion snapped to attention. He was elderly, that match was clear. White patches of hair littered his black coat, and he wore a scruffy grey beard that, like his silver mane, looked like it hadn’t been kept in centuries. Probably the most glaring feature though was his right eye, which was white and completely blind, a scar running through it from his forehead down to his cheek.
“Commander Stramash Prescience, retired captain of Her Majesty’s royal guard. Or at least ah was retired, ‘til this bloody bampot decided the life of a soldier wasn’t good enough for ‘im, and he had tae go become a prince, forcin’ me back. You lot can call me Commander Percy for short.”
“Commander Percy was captain of the Royal Guard until I replaced him,” explained Shining.
“Aye, and ah was supposed tah stay replaced, ya cuddie sod! And now you come back and want yer office again. Make up yer damn mind! Ma auld bones cannae cope wi' all this shufflin aboot. Which reminds me.” The elderly stallion lashed out, striking Shining against the head, hard. “Ah never said you could call me Percy, boy!”
Shining rubbed his head and grumbled. “It’s nice seeing you again too, sir.”
Percy hit him again. “Nopony likes a smart-ass, ya wee beebag.”
“The point being,” said Luna, trying to get the conversation back on course. “That we deem it is no longer safe for you to remain in Canterlot. You and the Elements shall be escorted to the train station and return to Ponyville at first light. Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom shall be accompanying you to the village.”
Jorge groaned. “Do I really need these two?”
Midnight wrinkled her nose indignantly. “Hey, if it wasn’t for us you’d be a stain in an alleyway right now!”
It took Jorge all his willpower not to laugh out loud. “I hardly doubt that.”
“We understand your annoyance, Jorge,” said Luna. “But it would make us more comfortable.”
“Fine,” sighed Jorge.
“Now let us all get some sleep,” said Celestia, her voice weary. “It has been a long day.”
The two Alicorns and the old Guard left. As the elderly stallion passed Jorge, he nudged the human’s leg.
“Nice work by the way, laddie. From what these two told me I wouldn’t want to get on yer bad side,” he laughed before following the Princesses.
Jorge was about to join them, when he heard a loud, attention-grabbing cough from behind.
“Jorge,” began Shining, his voice vibrating with military authority. “I know it is not my responsibility, but regardless, I would also like to apologize for the offence. I hope it won’t damper your opinions about our race.”
“And?” drawled Cadence.
Shining grit his teeth, and raised his head in refusal. Cadence elbowed him roughly in the ribs and she gave him a look that seemed to suggest if he didn’t do what she wanted there would be severe consequences to be had. The Prince flushed again and bowed his head in defeat.
“And I am sorry for my conduct to you since your arrival. It was… uncalled for.”
‘Yes, you were indeed an ass,’ is what Jorge wanted to say. But feeling that the last thing he needed was making more enemies, Jorge simply nodded and headed out.
The girls were still waiting outside, yawning and having trouble staying awake. But they immediately perked up when they saw him.
“So I suppose you heard we’re heading out tomorrow.”
Twilight nodded. “The Princess just told me.”
“What a shame,” complained Rarity. “There were so many shops to show you. You must be devastated.”
“I’ll live.”
“What now?” asked Applejack.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m heading to bed.
The sun had long since set over the horizon, paving the way for inky blackness to gently glide through the streets of the shining city. Small pockets of light shun the dark’s soft caress, but these pits were few and far between. Havens for obsessive scholars, sleepless housewives, or young ponies out to cause trouble and savor their youth for as long as time permitted them. But despite these sanctuaries of stubborn light, night had reclaimed its control over the sleepy city, with nothing but the silver glow of the moon and stars to guide travellers across the almost spectral plain.
This was Luna’s domain.
She glided through the sky, breathing deeply of the cool summer air. Her body was translucent and tattooed with the ephemeral etchings of her stars. Or, rather, body perhaps was not the right word for it. Neither spirit, although it was a closer approximation. Rather it was an essence, a waking dream that flew through the black clouds.
Luna sighed contently. We never tire of this.
She glided down over rooftops of Canterlot, and soon dark wisps of mist began rising from the windows. Almost like water flowing up into the sky, reflecting the canopy of stars above them.
Dreams of her little ponies.
For there were many things she missed during her banishment, but none caused a greater yearning than to frolic in the dreams of her citizens.
Luna flew through the rising auras composing the dreams and inner-most thoughts of her subjects. She took brief peeks into one or another, observing their hidden desires or trying to assuage the nightmares of foals.
For despite the moniker of Nightmare Moon, there was truly nothing more she despised than nightmares. For her, dreams were an escape; a place of rest, of sanctuary, not of torment or further hardship.
And so while her sister guarded over their subjects during the day, Luna had long since taken it upon herself to protect her subjects under the cover of shadows.
After the business with Jorge and the guards, Luna had been left absolutely furious, and so she took to the dreamscape to calm her nerves.
This was exactly what I needed, she thought.
After a few more dreams and circling Canterlot for the last time, Luna headed back to the Castle, where her body was resting. As she flew up the spire to join her physical self and get some much needed rest however, she noticed something peculiar.
A wisp, a dream, flowing from one of the Castle’s windows. It was odd though, in that it wasn’t running fluently like most, but rather jerking wildly, it’s starry makeup blinking in and out of existence.
What in the world? Curiosity getting the better of her, Luna flew down through the window and was surprised when she saw who was in bed.
Jorge, armor absent and with the same stubborn frown as always.
Oh, this is fantastic! she squee’d mentally, her spirit bursting at the seams with curiosity. Her horn lit up as she prepared a spell to enter, when she quickly stopped herself.
No, we mustn’t abuse this gift, she chided herself. We must use it sparingly and with caution. Jorge is not a pony nor one of my subjects, and to invade his mind would be a great breach of privacy.
She turned around to return to her chambers, but looked back at the human over her shoulder.
Although… my sister and I did technically make him a citizen of Equestria. And would just be taking a tiny peek. No harm in that… right?
Her flawed reasoning being good enough for her, Luna’s horn lit up and she charged her spell. Blue tendrils grew from her horn and wrapped around the silvery cloud that was Jorge’s dream. However, instead of the comfortable coolness she normally felt when she merged with somepony’s dream, her muscles locked in place and her tendrils became painfully rigged. Her eyes snapped open and panic coursed through her as her mind was suddenly assaulted by Jorge’s emotions. Fear, agony, and raw fury battered her mind as her consciousness melded with his. The Princes desperately tried to sever the connection, but she was trapped; held like the dream had sunk its claws into her flesh and refused to yield.
That’s when she saw it. The dream-catcher spinning lazily over Jorge’s bed. Her eyes widened and realization dawned and her.
This chapter features the nightmare of a Spartan. You have been warned
Soldier Side
Welcome to the soldier side/ Where there’s no one here but me… — Serj Tankian
The sky was grey and the air reeked of ash.
Darkened clouds wept the little flecks onto weary heads, staining the icy snow gripping the landscape. Air burned lungs, choking the ragged, bloodied throats of anyone who had the audacity to breath. Columns of black smoke drifted up from the world below.
Wind brought no respite, only more ash; ash carried on the backs of distant gunfire chilling mangled ears. A handful of trees stooped over like old men, embittered. The last leaves had fled long ago, all that remained were battered husks of dying timber. Their branches were bare and charred, grasping vainly at the burnt soil. Their numbers had dwindled; they could be counted on a single, maimed hand. Their demise etched burnt into the land like cracks on timber.
Bloodshot eyes glared at them with envy.
The slosh of grey boots on ashen snow drifted up, partnered with the smoke.
Specters roamed between canvases of patched cloth, matching the torn clothing of their own dead skin. Metal beasts lay rusting in the open, occasionally sighing in pain.
Hushed whispers were croaked out from between stained cheeks.
In the center of this stood a towering figure. Cracks in his orange armor filled with the falling ash; scrapped and blurred, pushed into the pallet as little bits of the landscape, little bits of trees of dirt and skin, burned its way under the metal. He looked as cinders settled his visor. Or maybe it was just snow.
It was hard to tell.
“Spartan!”
He dropped his head from the clouds and towards a young man with fiery hair poking out from beneath a filthy bandage. The man gave him a toothy grin.
“Hey there, I’m the Sergeant in charge of this outfit.”
The two men shook hands.
“Jorge zero five two.”
“You came just in time, friend. Not sure how long our bombardments are gonna keep those split-lips out.”
“When are we assaulting New Guernica?”
“Still have a few hours before birds are set. Most tracks are shot to hell though; so don’t expect armor on this op. You get your orders yet?”
The figure who had called himself Jorge shook his head.
The man looked over his shoulder “Can you do me a favor?”
Jorge nodded.
“My squad is set to scout out around a small town called Lumo about a couple klicks from here. I’d feel a hell of a lot more comfortable if we had a Spartan with us. Won’t take more than an hour.”
“Sure.”
The redheaded man beamed, bright teeth and colorful hair shining. Jorge followed him to a set of warthogs waiting at the entrance at the camp.
“Alright boys, we got some extra firepower on this mission. Let’s give a big ‘ol ODST welcome to our newest member.”
There was no welcome. Dirty faces barely nodded at the voice. Jorge climbed onto the warthog. The swine creaked a miserable protest, the engine reluctantly coming to a start. Its wheels squealed, sending a spray of snow and ash and mud, and the weary machine trudged forward. Jorge blinked whenever the ash, or the snow, or who knows what it was, hit his visor.
He blinked a lot, and everything whirled by at a dizzying speed. The dirt road gave way to crimson muck. The squelching of tires was punctuated with an occasional thump.
One of the warthogs got stuck.
“Shit!” swore the redheaded man.
The faces all stared hollowly ahead. They hadn’t noticed that anything had happened.
“Need help?” asked Jorge.
The sergeant nodded and pointed at one of the soldiers. “Get out and push.”
A short, stocky man with an unruly beard hopped off. He waddled to the back and pushed, grunting and slipping. Red mud seeped into his boots as he did his best not to fall. Jorge joined him.
The man laughed. “Looks like I could use some help.” His voice was strangely high. His beard looked out of place; premature, like someone had stuck a patchy rug to a teenager’s cheeks.
Jorge nodded. With a casual shove the Warthog sped forward. The soldier was caught off-guard and slipped, covering his face with red mud. His eyes flashed with anger, but quickly caught himself, like a bad habit he was trying to suppress. He wiped his beard and laughed.
“They build you strong, eh?”
Jorge and the bearded man got back on the Warthogs, and they were off again.
Soon buildings poked over a hill, and they rolled into the village.
Tinderbox-buildings lined the dirt road. Burnt out. Jagged beams twisted into fangs and grinned like skulls at the soldiers. Corpses grinned too, their clawed out eyes sneering at the interlopers, ignoring the entrails that had been stolen from them to decorate the landscape.
The Warthog came to a stop among the carnage.
“Fall out, marines!” ordered the sergeant. His soldiers snapped to attention, like wind-up dolls. “Look for survivors. You,” he ordered, pointing to one of his men. “Go with the Spartan and check the buildings.”
The soldier the commander pointed to said nothing. He shambled towards the nearest building, leaving a trail of red puddles wherever his feet dragged. Jorge squeezed the grip of his machine gun, his knuckles turning white and bleeding. He followed the soldier into the burned out husk of a farmhouse.
Everything was grey: the furniture, the floor, the wood, the flesh. Their skin was cracked; turned to ash and melting in. Their faces were scratched off, and their clothes were seared to them, melded against their bodies. All that was left of them were their shoes. Big shoes, little shoes, boots, slippers. One of the shoes was pink, butterfly stitches on it. Jorge stared at it. The soldier didn’t.
“Hello?” called out Jorge. Snow shook off the ripped beams and floated onto their heads making him blink. His companion kicked one of the charred figures; the pink shoe fell off, buried in ash.
“Hey!” snapped Jorge; he blinked again. The ODST didn’t hear him, and they inspected the rest of the building. The shoes were gone; their owners were all that were left. The wood groaned tiredly, and the wind curled up dying whispers into their ears.
They left the building.
“Anyone?” asked the redheaded man, looking up from his radio. The soldier next to Jorge didn’t answer. He sat back onto the Warthog, his lifeless eyes fixed blankly at his muddied boots. Jorge shook his head. The sergeant cursed quietly. “No, they got hit,” he muttered into the radio. Crackled static answered. “No one. It’s a ghost town. Orders?”
The radio shrieked in agony. Jorge covered his ears over his helmet and winced.
“Understood. Hey, you alright buddy?” The redheaded man looked at Jorge strangely. Jorge could feel something trickle from his ear, but he nodded. The sergeant nodded back. “Evac’ll be here in about thirty minutes. We don’t have time to head back to camp, so we’re just rendezvousing with the rest of the force from here.”
Jorge watched the rest of the troops wander between ruins, lost. Their arms stiffly raised, clutching their weapons; their feet stumbling mechanically, through the snow and mud and blood. Boots tattered and torn, leaving bits of leather and skin wherever they went.
The bearded man from before jogged next to Jorge. “No luck, eh?”
“We still got some time before the Pelicans pick us up,” said the redheaded man. He pointed to the bearded soldier. “Go check out the mill down the road.”
“I’ll go,” offered Jorge.
“Are you sure? I’d be happy to go,” lied the stocky Marine.
“I’m sure.”
“Alright, it’s settled,” said the commander. He pointed to the soldier who sat on the Warthog. “Join the Spartan again, but this time make sure to be back in thirty. I don’t wanna stay here longer than we have to.”
Jorge and his companion made their way through the muck, leaving behind the sergeant and the bearded man. They found a bridge running over a creek. The water was supposed to be frozen that time of year; grey sludge ran through anyways. A black lump floated lifelessly along. Jorge didn’t get a good look at it though, he chose to keep watching the sludge, and ignore the grey fingers poking from the water.
The mill tore through the ground and towered above the trudging stream, casting its long shadow across the bridge. Uprooted trees, gnarled roots, and dirt ripped from the earth rained down. Jorge shivered.
It was the only building in the village that was intact. The wheel spun endlessly squeaking loudly, the grey water trickling through. Something hit it with a wet thunk. Jorge chose to ignore that too.
They walked in. The room was empty. Dust hung thickly in the air and hay rustled quietly as light from machines blinked briefly before shutting off. There were no burn marks or holes riddling the walls. There was no ash falling from the burned ceiling. There were no shoes.
“Hello?” said Jorge. The soldier sat on a bale of hay. He checked his weapon, ignorant of everything around him. The Spartan ran his hand against the wall, knocking and occasionally keeping quiet to listen
“Do you hear anything?” The Marine didn’t answer. He didn’t look up from his rifle. His rifle was his world, scrubbing, inspecting, making sure it was perfect. Not a part of the canvas of grey and ash.
Jorge shook his head and walked around the room. His foot struck the ground with a hollow noise and he stopped. He stomped his foot a few more times, listening to the sound. The floor cracked under the weight, and the soldier jumped up, rifle raised, eyes blank.
Jorge lifted the trap door. Golden light burst through, washing the mill in amber.
“Is anyone alive?” he called out. “Estar vivo?” The Spartan dropped his machine gun by his feet and pulled out a pistol. “Coming?” he asked the marine. He didn’t say anything.
Jorge climbed down the rotted wooden steps and the air became warmer, brighter.
The two made their way down into the tunnel. Claw marks lined the walls, while the floor was covered in plasma burns. They moved methodically through the yellow hallway, never advancing more than half a meter with every step. The pair came to a large, mangled metal door. It was like a gúta had torn through it in a fit of bloodlust: entire portions looked like they had been ripped off, half of the metal was darkened with more plasma burns. The steel had melted altogether, and the whole thing was dented forward, a single blow having driven it inward. The dashboard next to it was inside out, sending amber colored sparks flying in every direction.
The two cautiously stepped forward. Jorge knocked on the door, but apart from the sound echoing on the other side nothing replied. The Spartan nodded, but the soldier didn’t nod back; he instead gripped his rifle even tighter. Jorge kicked the door with tremendous force. The steel flew off its hinges, and he rushed in with his pistol raised, followed by his companion.
Rot clawed at their eyes, ripping their lids and bleeding hot tears through blurred lashes. Jorge breathed, and poison wormed its way through his filters and down his throat, burning, gagging, choking his insides. Shivers ran down the Spartan’s spine and a thousand needles pierced his skin and drew blood across his entire being as the claw marks, burns, shoes, flesh hid behind stinging tears, bashing at his throbbing head.
Scratches on the ceiling, walls, echoed of a mad orgy of pain and fear and blood, frenzied as animals tried to claw their way out, literally tearing their fingernails out and ripping skin off until bone stood alone, trying to escape the suitors knocking on the door. Black, burned, cooked inhuman fangs twisted into sneering skulls. Cracked teeth and bleeding gums hung on broken jaws, dozens laughing at the pair at the doorway from faces erased by fire, purged of anything in a mess of ash or snow or blood that dripped from walls and floor and squelched under the heavy boots of the living.
The soldier gagged, his face contorted in horror. His eyes quivered open. He stared at the carnage and his mouth opened. Wider and wider it ripped until jagged teeth and spittle ran down his face into a silent shriek. His palm slapped over the terror, and vomit exploded from between his fingers.
He rushed out of the room. The hall echoed distant coughs and sobs.
Jorge sighed in resignation. As he was prepared to follow the soldier he heard a shuffling from one of the piles of rotted flesh. Jorge pulled out his pistol and approached it.
He kicked out the lifeless form, and in its place laid a quivering ball of pale skin. Blue eyes stared wildly at Jorge. The child kicked away from him and began screaming incoherently, but before he could get far the Spartan grabbed him.
“Quiet!”
The boy didn’t listen; he shut his eyes, and a stream of tears and shrieks flowed out. Jorge grabbed the boy’s face, forcing the child to look at him in silent terror.
“Ingles?”
The boy nodded. Drops of red fell from filthy blond hair, and shimmered around blue eyes.
“What happened?”
He whimpered and shut his eyes, shaking his head. Jorge let go, and pulled off his helmet. Cold, wet air wrapped his face. Despite the suffocating stench, he smiled.
“Are you alright?”
The boy said nothing. His head bobbed. Up down, up down. In the hallway there were sobs.
Jorge squeezed his shoulder.
“Are you alright?”
The child’s head bobbed.
“We should go.” Jorge headed out. The boy wasn’t behind him, he was crying again. “What’s wrong?”
No answer. The little one stared at a trio a few feet away from them. Three pairs of colorful shoes stuck to melted skin.
The child hugged one of them. Cold, smelly blood hugged him back. He felt sticky and he cried.
“Family?”
His head bobbed.
“I’m sorry.” Jorge waited. The corridor sobbed. The room sobbed. He knelt there, next to him, and waited. “Come, let them rest.”
“Rest?”
“Yes, they’re sleeping.”
The boy’s head shook.
“Yes they are.”
“But their eyes are open.”
“Well then, we should close them, shouldn’t we?”
The child blinked. Jorge glided his palm across the small one’s eyes, closing them.
The boy looked at Jorge. He put his palm on the tall one’s eyes and tried.
“They won’t stay down,” he sobbed.
Jorge grabbed the boy’s hand and guided his palm down the man’s face, closing his eyes. The boy stared at his fingers, and closed the woman’s eyes.
A crack of thunder echoed from the hallway. Jorge snapped up. A pistol slipped into his hands, squeezing his knuckles white. He hugged the whimpering boy against his leg. The hallway stopped sobbing.
“Stay here.” Jorge stepped through the door. Shivering, the soldier slumped against the cold grey wall. His teeth scraped against the muzzle of his rifle, trembling hands clutched the grip for dear life. His whole body was bloody, men always looked bloody; but this blood was brighter. It was warm and sticky and it poured down his chin and caked the wall behind him. Jorge knelt and gently pulled the gun away from him.
The man’s eyes shook bestially. His tear stained face contorted in pain. The horror on his lips masked the glee that was bubbling under, and old sobs bounced off the walls.
The shaking stopped, as did the warm blood. A small hand glided down the dead man’s eyes, closing them. Jorge looked up, the little boy looked back and smiled.
“Durmiendo,” croaked the child.
Jorge wiped blood off the child’s face and nodded. He took the chain around the dead man’s neck and put it in his pocket, before taking the little one’s hand and walking him out of the tunnel.
“We’ve got a live one!” He picked the boy up and put him on one of the Warthogs, letting a soldier with a red cross on his helmet check him.
“Nice work,” said the sergeant. He looked around and blinked. He realized that something was missing. “Where’s Riley?”
“Who?”
“The soldier I sent you with?”
“Died.”
The sergeant’s smile faltered. “What happened?”
“Gun misfired, hit his femoral artery,” lied the Spartan. “His name was Riley?”
The redheaded man didn’t frown, nor did he smile. He shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s a shame. Do you have his dog-tag?”
“But you just said his name was Riley?”
“I think so, maybe, maybe not. Who’s to say, maybe he’s Riley,” he pointed at the soldier with the red cross on his helmet. “I can’t keep track of everyone; do you have the dog-tag?”
Jorge handed the redheaded man the soldier’s dog tags, who gently put them in his pocket. Once they were hidden the smile returned. “Okay, that’s about it, pick up should be here in ten to take us to New Guernica.”
“What about the boy?”
“We’ll have a ship—”
A flash of light screamed across the sky, igniting a Warthog into a ball of flames and raining pieces of molten metal onto the muddy earth. Jorge felt burning wash over him like a wave as his skin scorched under a flower of orange and red. He blinked, belly up, grey muck seeping into the boots of his armor, snow in the cracks.
Bolts of neon light tore through the air, ripping through the falling ash. Jorge stood up and watched as monsters rain down from the sky, landing with blood-curdling roars. The redheaded man yelled something at Jorge, something drowned out by the sound of muscle and bone being torn apart. Soldiers hid behind broken buildings as well as broken bodies.
One of the men bent forward as his chest popped open with a muffled puff. Pink needles silently slid their way into his torso without so much as sending a cloud of crimson into the air. The soldier looked down at his chest with the same expressionless face, and upon realizing that he had been killed carefully put his weapon on the ground and lay down without a fuss. Half a dozen others did the same. Gently dropping their weapons before lying down.
Jorge’s weapon hummed and opened fire. The monsters’ limbs were grabbed by an unknown forced and eviscerated. Jorge couldn’t hear the sound of snapping bones and breaking tendons over the pleasant hum of his gun.
His armor glowed, encasing him in cocoon of gold. Jorge thought it looked nice against all the grey.
A flying mass of purple metal arrived, and a second Warthog erupted in orange flames. Even the fire looked grey, swallowed by ash and mud and a world that forgot colors besides brown and grey and red. Except for the armor. The armor was still gold.
Jorge heard a clicking. He dropped his machine gun and pulled out his pistol. He felt relieved as the small gun shook against his numb fingers. More purple masses arrived to drop more purple monsters into the mud below, as soldiers put their guns on the ground and quietly lay in the bloody, muddy, gooey, muck to die. A queer thought crossed Jorge’s mind, one about eyes: there were now too many for him to close.
The third warthog erupted, throwing Jorge a second time and interrupting his thought about eyes. He felt a sharp pain in his back while his ears rung, and his eyesight was tinted with red.
Shrieks rising all around him, but they weren’t supposed to be screaming, they hadn’t been screaming, but now they were, and the sharp pain in his back crept up his spine, growing, oozing, until it tore at him along with the screams. More monsters fell like snowy ash from the sky, hissing, splitting their grotesque faces at them in cruel jeers as they lay waste to cursing veterans and weeping recruits, who scurried in the blood stains like squealing rats. Everything was moving faster than Jorge could think with his sluggish brain and sluggish muscles and sluggish screams ripping at his back like he had been set on fire.
He raised his head to try finding some semblance of sanity in an insane world. He called out for the redheaded man, only to find him running through the chaos flailing his arms wildly as if overcome by some divine fervor. His face was engulfed in red flames, merging with his hair and slowly melting away his skin into red, bloody, muddy, gooey, muck before it cracked into a thousand black flakes and fell to the ground, mixing with the rest of the ashy snow. He opened his mouth to let out a terrific shriek and the flames flowed down into his throat, cackling and crackling as they burned his insides, his white teeth glowing brilliantly around a face a burnt flesh.
He fell to the ground where his body convulsed and shrieked like a broken machine gone out of control. Slowly he ran out of juice, rolling, then twitching, then still, until there was nothing but the reek of burning flesh as a testament to his existence.
A monster leapt over the wreckage of one of the Warthogs. Twisting it’s snarling face into a sickening smile, it pierced Jorge’s arm with a glowing sword. Jorge didn’t flinch. He grabbed the creature’s head and squeezed until he heard a pop. He pulled the sword out with his purple hand.
There, among the lights. Among the puffing of soldiers lying down. Among the shrieks. Among the splattering browns, the falling greys, the ash that floated down like snow; the red muddy, gooey, muck; the sleepless eyes thirsting for palms to close them; the colorful shoes attached to shrivel lumps of grey; the melting faces of red hair; the weeping toys with holes in their legs, legs that carried them away from the rooms of red and reeking rot, lay half a boy.
Jorge couldn’t tell that his hair was yellow, because it was red, where there was hair it was red, and where there wasn’t there was just a big hole filled with more red. And his clothes mixed with blood that Jorge couldn’t tell was his or the boy’s or the bodies in that room or the soldiers that had lied down all around them. And the boy’s blue eyes were hiding behind pale, sunless lids. Jorge thought and thought as his body burned from the inside, but he ignored it and he thought and thought and couldn’t remember.
He couldn’t remember closing those lids. As much as he tried he couldn’t remember closing them. They had closed on their own, like he closed his own eyes. He must of found a way to do it, no matter that Jorge couldn’t see the boy’s arms, he must have found a way to close them. What else made sense? It was the only logical explanation, he couldn’t remember closing them so how else would they have closed. He couldn’t remember. And suddenly, he couldn’t remember all sorts of things.
Like the tie that he couldn’t remember how to put on, or the resting soldiers that lay around him. He couldn’t remember the black armor that they wore, the armor that was familiar, and he couldn’t remember how he got so alone, with nothing but the black armor that was familiar and half a boy to keep him company, and he couldn’t remember how it got so quiet, how the sounds of gunfire and flashing lights had disappeared and been replaced by a breeze that carried with it more ash.
There was always more ash than snow.
And he couldn’t remember taking his helmet off, or how it had been cut in two. And he couldn’t remember the pressure in his chest, the pressure that was growing, slowly growing, filling his stomach with an emptiness that made him want to vomit as it built up all over his body: in his head, in his chest, behind his eyes threatening to push them out, in his teeth. His teeth hurt and shook and this pressure built and built and sweat poured from every pore as his skin trembled and his eyes hurt and his mouth went dry as cuts slivered down his throat threatening to cough up blood and this pressure that grew and grew and grew until his chest felt like exploding.
And the light that shone over him and cast away all the ash and all the grey and everything around him; and the voice that whispered sweet nothings in his ear, that made the pressure worse, that made his eyes hurt worse, and cut his throat with the gurgling roar that exploded from his throat.
And his that body fell apart as his scream ripped his insides and the streets and the light that ripped his flesh and burned everything, everything.
And how he had layed back down in the ash and the snow, too tired; too tired to move, to think, to bleed, to cry, to look up at the world as it lit.
And a shape of blue, shining with tears, out of the corner of his mad, veined, bloodshot, quivering eyes that stayed open, that no one closed. And the voice that remained after everything was gone.
Whispering.
In a void.
Olly Olly
Oxen Free
Jorge lurched forward with a roar. His body gleaming with sweat as he kicked away his silk bed sheets. A massive hand shot out from somewhere in his dark quarters and came down on his mouth, silencing him. His mind blanked, and instincts kicked in. He grabbed the arm that held him down on the bed, and pulled at it with all his might, sending whatever attacked him flying to the other side of his black room with a loud grunt.
The Spartan leapt off the bed, sheets and blankets flying onto the stone floor along with his feet.
Giant hooded figures surrounded him, each brandishing sharp swords and pointing them menacingly at him. His nightmare long forgotten, adrenaline shot through his body. But before Jorge could strike, he felt something grab his arms from behind and hold him in a tight lock. One of the figures stepped forward with surprising swiftness and pulled out a leather sack from its belt. It poured out what looked like a fine dust onto the palm of his hand, and blew it at the human’s face.
Jorge tried to hold his breath, but it was no use; he felt a coldness slither down his body. The soldier grabbed the creature holding him and heaved it over his shoulders, sending it into its companions. Now free from its hold, Jorge shot forward towards his bed, and pawed under his pillow in search of his gun. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a fist speeding towards him, and moved his arms up in order to block. His heart stopped.
He couldn’t feel his limbs.
The fist struck him with shocking force, and he could swear he felt his jaw break.
Jorge felt like he was flying.
He blinked, and found himself looking at the ceiling.
He tried to move his arms again, but they wouldn’t respond. The coldness was spreading throughout his body, his vision was fading, and his eyelids were getting heavier and heavier.
The hooded figures stood over him.
The last thing he saw was a black hoof speeding towards his face.
As the hooded figures carried the unconscious human out of the room, no one seemed to notice the glowing dream catcher hanging at the foot of his bed.
Moonlight bathed the Everfree forest, as it did every evening. There was, however, something odd about that night. The sky seemed a little dimmer than usual, but no pony really noticed. Even the creatures of the forest, mystical as they may be, did not stir at the odd moonlight. That was the other thing that was strange: the forest was eerily quiet; it was as if all of the Everfree’s residents, both big and small alike, had fled to their dens or alcoves; hiding in fear at some unknown force that held its grip over the forest.
Still, this did not concern the owner of a pair of fluffy white paws that found themselves hopping through the logs and vines of the forest.
Angel was not a happy bunny. Then again, it would be fair to say that he was rarely ever happy, but at that moment he was particularly unhappy. Livid, would be more apt. Murderously furious, would be even more apt. So furious in fact, that he could subject all of Equestria to a thousand years of darkness and misery under his iron (and fluffy) fist.
And he would too…
…if Fluttershy didn’t give him such a strict bedtime.
The reason behind Angel’s apocalyptic fury was none other than that giant metal thing that had kicked him out of the cottage a couple of days ago. Just the thought of that giant oaf made steam shoot out of his long ears. Not only did the giant have the audacity to kick him out of his house, but thanks to him, Fluttershy had to go to Canterlot, leaving Angel on his own to scrounge up some food like some common forest hare.
Oh the humiliation!
Branches whipped past the little ball of fur and hate as he bounded through the thick forest floor in search of his prize, not noticing the conspicuous quiet around him. Up and down, left and right, the spunky little rodent’s paws glided over the dirt with awesome speed.
Eventually he cleared the tree line and found himself in a small clearing filled with Bubble Flowers. The glowing blue pedals drifted lazily through the air, bathing the trees in an eerie light. Angel pushed one of them away as he scanned his surroundings.
Then, he saw it.
An orange flash at the far end of the clearing. Angel felt himself salivate in anticipation as he bounded towards his prize. Even in the dimmed moonlight, the carrot glittered brilliantly. It lay on its side, like someone had carelessly discarded it. Angel’s eyes shone, inspecting the carrot carefully like a diamond merchant inspecting a flawlessly cut jewel. He rubbed his paws greedily and hefted the root onto his shoulder…
…or at least he tried too, before slipping and falling face first onto the cold, unforgiving ground. The bunny rubbed his head in confusion. He tried lifting it again, but the carrot wouldn’t budge. He tried pushing it, pulling it, picking it up from every angle possible, but no matter what he did the carrot refused to move.
Frustration reaching its boiling point, Angel kicked the carrot furiously.
A decision he regretted immediately.
Angel hopped around the clearing in pain, holding his throbbing paw and squeaking out curses to the cruel bunny gods above.
He glared at the bizarre carrot, trying to figure out just what the heck was wrong with it. It looked like a regular carrot. It was long, orange, and shiny like a regular carrot. It was covered in scales like a regular carrot, and was the length of a regular carrot. It was even covered in dirt, like it had just been pulled ou—
Wait a second…scales?
The forest rumbled menacingly.
Angel paused. He looked down at the ‘carrot’ with a growing sense of trepidation. He poked it again.
The whole forest shook, making Angel’s teeth shatter wildly. His ears folded back as the ground vibrated under him. Fruit bats fled from treetops and leaves fell to the ground. Insects scurried away frantically, and bark split open from the pressure in the air.
His neck screeched as his head swivelled slowly, ever so slowly, around. A distant shadow moved around the clearing, like a mountain had grown legs and picked itself up from the ground. Massive, leather wings rose towards the sky. Angel shivered as he watched this dark mass swirl among the stars, transfixed by its size.
Then, an eye opened. The green orb towered over him, like a giant emerald had replaced the moon. A long black, reptilian slit cut through it staring at the minuscule bunny. Angel stood only mere millimeters from it, feeling crushed by its gaze.
The shadow didn’t seem so distant anymore.
The bunny rabbit gulped as the eye focused and bore into him
The loudest noise Angel ever heard erupted all around him. The roar tore through the canopy, trees exploded in a rain of splinters, the earth split open, clouds vanished, and boulders cracked. Angel’s oversized eardrums burst, and all he could hear was a loud ringing. He could still feel it though, feel the pressure of the roar against his bones, feel his fur stand like it was going to be ripped off, feel his skull vibrating under his skin.
The shadow giant moved, and Angel did the only thing he could think off:
Twilight awoke with a yawn. Well, some would call it a yawn, while others would be more inclined to call it a groan. Regardless, she woke up with some noise and cursed the sun for its brightness. With heavy eyes, a disheveled mane, and a sour taste in her mouth, she ambled towards her shower, doing her best to keep her footing and not to wobble too much or bump into anything.
She failed, and one bruised shoulder later, she located her prize and promptly collapsed onto the floor of her shower with a groan.
A distinct groan at that, yawn enthusiasts conceded.
She had not slept well.
After the previous night’s excitements, she had hardly slept a wink. Her mind was a flurry with thoughts of the Royal Guards who had assaulted Jorge, and with it, the fear of another incident. Even when she finally did manage to sleep, her dreams were no less tranquil. As she slumped under the torrent of warm water, hazy flashes of changeling queens, stoic minotaurs, flamboyant griffins, and screaming orange ponies lingered in her eyes.
The only thing more maddening than the anxiety was the calm with which Jorge took everything. It was infuriating; there her and her friends were, climbing up the walls with worry, but Jorge took everything with the composure of someone who had gone for a leisurely stroll through a park .
With a second groan (or third, depending on who you asked), she fumbled with the faucet then stumbled out, dried herself off, and headed to the dining room for some much needed breakfast.
She decided to see if the others had gotten as little sleep as she had. With a final shake of her head, she cleared the last of her grogginess and walked into the cavernous hall, only to be greeted by more yelling…
Which she really wasn’t all that fond of.
“Ah tell ye, they’re all too soft, the lot of ‘em! Back in mah day, we’dah hung ‘em from their tadgers and watched ‘em squeal. Mighta even gotten a fine lassey tah swish her tail in front o’ ‘em tah make it more memorable. Ya know, get some blood flowin’ down there.”
And that was how Twilight Sparkle, protégé of Princess Celestia, started her morning.
“Commander Prescience!” cried Rarity indignantly, her coat taking on a brilliant red hue.
Cadence shook her head in bemusement, while Shining just shook his head.
“There are ladies present, Percy.”
“That’s Commander Percy tah you, boy! Oh, and sorry ladies,” he added with an awkward chuckle.
“Wha, did he pfay fomphin’?” asked Dash between mouthfuls of scrambled eggs.
“Percy was just saying how they used to hang guards by their—”
“Pinkie, please! Such talk is unbecoming of a lady.” Rarity glared at Dash. “As is speaking with one’s mouth full.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes and stuck her egg-covered tongue out at the unicorn.
“Good morning, Twilight,” greeted Celestia, turning all eyes to the unicorn.
“Good morning, everypony.” She took a seat next to her mentor and yawned.
“Tired, Twily?”
She nodded. “Didn’t get that much sleep is all. I’ll be fine.”
“Ah’ll say. Don’t reckon’ how anypony could sleep after last night.”
“What are you talking about, Applejack?” mumbled Rainbow Dash, trying to talk and drink orange juice at the same time. “I slept like a foal.”
“What a shocker,” deadpanned Applejack. “Ah’m just sayin’ that yesterday was pretty rough. Ah still can’t get over how quickly Jorge just… just… just got over everythin’.”
“I’m sure Jorge was more upset than you believe, my little ponies,” said Celestia as a floating piece of toast buttered itself next to her head.
“Yeah.” Twilight nodded, lost in thought.
With a sudden smile, she hopped off her chair and headed to the kitchen.
“Where are you going, Twily?” asked Shining.
“To the kitchen,” answered Twilight without looking back. “I just got a great idea!” Twilight left everypony glancing at each other in confusion as she rushed through the kitchen doors.
Not twenty minutes later, she was cantering through the castle’s corridors on her way to Jorge’s room, a crystal tray floating in a purple aura next to her. The tray was laden with all manner of delights, from brightly exotic fruits and imported cheeses from the royal pantry, to more mundane goodies like fried eggs and toast accompanied by orange juice.
Celestia’s right, mused Twilight. Jorge was probably more shaken up than he let on. A little breakfast in bed’ll cheer him up.
Twilight had even managed to get some bacon from the disgusted chefs. While the greasy aroma made her stomach churn, she recalled from one of her books that Griffons considered it a delicacy.
He is going to love this!
“I’m not touching yoooouuu~”
“Midnight, I swear to Celestia…”
“But. I’m. Not. Touching you.”
Had anyone been lucky enough to stroll past Jorge’s room, they would have seen a most curious, albeit common, sight; at least, more common than Captain Prescience liked to admit. Mainly that two Eclipse Guards, members of the most elite, disciplined, and above all, brutal guards under Celestia’s service were behaving with all the maturity and moral fortitude of six-year-old foals.
Cloud Skipper stood ramrod stiff at his post in front of Jorge’s door. Eyes cast forward and face chiseled into an expression of stony determination, he was the very picture of discipline.
Midnight Blossom, on the other hand, stood on the tip of her hooves with her tongue stuck out, leering at her companion and waving her hoof a mere inch from Cloud’s face.
“Midnight…” growled Cloud dangerously.
“But I’m not touching you.”
Cloud Skipper groaned mentally. Sticking to his guns, he steeled himself and ignored Midnight with the full might of his will.
But with the batpony grinning manically at him, and the oh-so-subtle feeling of the hoof’s essence simply grazing the hairs on his cheek, the stallion lasted a whopping five seconds before caving.
“Midnight, if you don’t stop that, I—”
“You told me not to touch you. That was the request you made to me that I agreed to. Because neither my hoof, nor any other part of my body, is in direct contact with any part of your body, I am honoring said request. Ergo, your anger is misdirected and completely unwarranted.”
Cloud blinked… repeatedly.
“I… uh…”
“Therefore, in conclusion, and to reiterate my previous point...” Midnight broke into childish grin. “Not touching you~”
Cloud grit his teeth. “Fine, I’ll play your game, Midnight. I desire a new caveat to our verbal contract.”
“I’m listening.”
“I propose that you stay at least five feet away from me at all times and remain in perfect silence.”
Midnight hummed and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Deal.”
The stallion all but breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he would be able to guard the human’s door in peac—
Midnight tackled the sullen guard to the ground, pinning him on his back. In one fluid motion, she ran her tongue up from the base of his neck to his cheek, giving him a long, sensuous lick.
Cloud’s brain took a few minutes to process the new information that it was being blasted with. In the blink of an eye, his white fur turned bright red, glowing brilliantly in a blush that should have by all rights been melting Midnight’s face from pure heat. Doing the only logical thing, Cloud began babbling like an idiot.
“M-Midnight… I-I… you… w-w-wha!?”
“Hmm… I changed my mind,” purred Midnight. “I nullify our contract.”
“Am I interrupting something?”
Cloud was horrified to see a befuddled Twilight watching from a few feet away. Cloud was no ordinary guard; trained as one of the Crown’s most elite, he had long since been conditioned to remain calm in the most trying circumstances, from combat situations to natural catastrophes. Harnessing all of his training, he quickly got Midnight off and returned to his post…
…by sucker punching the bat pony in a blind panic and scrambling back onto his hooves.
“Miss Sparkle,” he grunted with a salute, ignoring that his helmet was crooked and blocking half his vision. Midnight Blossom imitated her partner, now sporting a rather conspicuous black eye. Both guards were intent on pretending like nothing was out of the ordinary.
“Uh… right,” muttered Twilight. “I was passing by to drop this off for Jorge. Is he in?”
Cloud and Midnight glanced at each other.
“We came by to escort him to breakfast a few hours ago, but he hasn’t come out yet,” explained Midnight, her eye swelling considerably.
“How do you know he’s in there?”
“The door’s locked.”
“Oh. Well then... ” Twilight’s horn lit up, and a light click echoed from the door.
“What are you doing?” asked Cloud suspiciously, stepping in front of the door.
“I’m just going to leave this in there and walk out.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Twilight couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little bit. “Don’t worry, I won’t wake him,” she said, stepping past the guard and swinging the door open. “Besides, I’m sure he’ll appreciate this little sur… prise…”
Twilight trailed off as Jorge’s room came into view. Shards of broken glass and wood littered the floor. The tapestry was ripped in half and had fallen over a crushed bed, and half of the furniture was in shambles. Long trails of blood ran across the floor, leaving the walls and the furniture tarnished, before pooling in the center of the chaos.
The tray clattered onto the ground, as the sound of smashing glass and a dozen hooves frantically rushing down the corridor echoed through the castle’s corridors.
“We’ve searched everywhere, Your Highness, but the human is nowhere to be found.”
The castle was a flurry of chattering voices and panicked servants. All exits and entrances to the citadel were locked down. In the blink of an eye, the castle had turned from an extravagant residence for the royalty and nobility of Equestria into a military fortress; steely-eyed guards roamed the hallways, questioning anyone that looked the least bit suspicious. Pegasi patrolled the air, flying between soaring towers and preparing for any sort of attack. Even the streets of Canterlot were not spared the excitement, and ponies were perplexed to find guards clad in golden armor mixed in with their city’s militia.
“Double the number of guards searching, and send squads of pegasi into the outlying countryside. Interview all the guards who had the night shift, station blockades on every road leaving the city, post a company of Eclipse Guards at the train station, and send me reports on your progress every fifteen minutes; I don’t want anyone, pony or otherwise, leaving the city without my knowledge.”
The guard was taken aback by the intensity and speed with which Celestia barked out orders. “Your Highness, a-are you sure t-that all this is necess—”
“The Princess gave you an order, boy!” snapped Percy. “Are you questioning her authority?”
“N-no!”
“Good, now get out before I decide to teach you how we used to punish insubordination back in the day.”
Percy’s stories being well known among the Royal Guard, the stallion paled; but before he could scurry away, the captain grabbed a hold of him.
“And if I hear you address me without sayin’ ‘sir’ again, I’ll teach you how the Minotaurs used to discipline their troops. And believe me, they did a heck of lot more than just hang you by it.”
Yelping a quick ‘yes, sir,’ the guard scrambled away down the hall and as far from Percy as fast as his legs could carry him.
“Thank you, Captain,” said Celestia absentmindedly.
“My pleasure, Your Highness.”
The joy of abusing his underlings was short-lived, and Percy’s grin melted into a grim frown. “So… any ideas, Princess?”
Celestia sighed wearily. “I don’t know, but it’s clear that Jorge didn’t simply go missing after taking a midnight stroll.”
“What do you reckon, kidnapping?” The word hung in the air and grew thicker and thicker before shattering after a high pitched squeal came from a corner of the room.
Fluttershy stared at Celestia and Percy in horror, while the rest of the Elements glanced at each other worriedly.
“Y-y-you mean J-Jorge was k-kidn… k-kidna..."
Applejack patted Fluttershy comfortingly. “Don’t worry sugarcube, Jorge is real tough. Ah’m sure he’s fine.”
“Yeah,” added Dash. “No way he’d let anyone mess with him. He’s got one heck of a right hook.” She rubbed her eye and muttered to herself, “I would know…”
“Since when’d you become president of Jorge’s fan club, Rainbow,” asked Applejack suspiciously.
“I’m just trying to make Fluttershy feel better,” said Dash defensively.
“You don’t really believe that’s what happened, do you, Princess?”
“I don’t know, Twilight. I’ve convened an emergency meeting with the delegates and scrambled the Guard. In the meantime, there’s little we can do but wait and hope for the best.”
“Auntie, we should wake Luna,” said Cadence, trying to comfort Fluttershy.
Celestia sighed. “Yes, she needs to know. Stay here, Cadance, I’ll go.” Without another word, the Princess headed up to her sister’s room. She waved away her escorts; the last thing she wanted was to be suffocated by her nagging guards.
The hallway felt particularly dismal as she climbed up the claustrophobic stairway to Luna’s chambers.
Just when things were going so well.
The door’s smooth blue wood was adorned with Luna’s cutie mark, carved from pure marble and platinum, but Celestia felt it was rather dull that morning.
Celestia knocked on the door gently. “Luna, it’s Celestia. Please let me in.” When there was no reply, the Princess knocked more forcefully. Still no reply.
Why now of all times?
Her horn flared up, and Luna’s lock began glowing gold. Celestia stuck her tongue out in concentration as the magic aura shifted and small clicking sounds came from the lock. After a few moments, a final click was heard.
I haven’t done that since we were fillies, reflected Celestia as she admired the recently picked lock.
Pushing the door aside, she stepped into the cool room.
Luna’s chamber was dark, almost pitch black, and cold, like Celestia had stepped into a brisk autumn night. Luna had always messier than her more meticulous sister, and it showed. The room was, to put it bluntly, an utter disaster. The bed hadn’t been made since the night of the Princess’ return, almost three years ago. Jewelry and clothing was strewn across the floor, and the curtains hung ajar, letting faint cracks of light crumble the darkness. It looked less like the chambers of a regent than that of a teenaged mare. Honestly, despite the blood and destroyed furniture, Jorge’s room was probably more organized than this mess.
Worst of all were the piles and piles of books and papers. Since her return, Luna had insisting on acquiring any and every text on contemporary Equestria that she could get her hooves on.
Coupled with her lack of any organizational skills whatsoever, the Princess of the Night was left with a room that would have given Twilight Sparkle an aneurism.
Stepping over a particularly thick tome on the Equestrian judiciary, Celestia avoided bumping into one of the many towers of books that populated the room and saw that her sister’s bed was empty.
“Lulu, it’s me, Tia. Are you awake?”
A vaguely alicorn-shaped shadow caught the corner of her eye. Luna was lying in the middle of her room among a carpet of papers, her back to her sister. Ever so gently, Celestia walked up to her and nuzzled her.
“Lulu, I need you to wake up.”
But Luna didn’t stir; in fact, Celestia noticed that her fur felt alarmingly cold.
“Luna, you must wake up. Something has happened to Jorge.”
Silence.
“Luna?” Celestia’s voice was now laced with concern. She began nudging her sister, first gently, then more and more forcefully until she was practically shaking the alicorn in panic. Luna rolled over, and Celestia gasped. The young Princess’ eyes were wide open and bathed in a white glow. Celestia recognized this look; she had seen it many times: her sister was wandering the dreamscape.
Something’s wrong, thought Celestia. She outstretched her magical senses to her sister. Gold tendons erupted from her horn and slowly wove their way around Luna’s. Much to her horror, instead of the cool pleasantness she expected, she felt a stab of ice in her horn from a discharge of magical backlash.
Celestia’s head swam, and her body felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand needles. Fortunately, the sensation was fleeting. Celestia was on the verge of an utter breakdown; she had never seen her sister in such an alarming state. Taking a step back, she forced herself to take a few deep breaths to calm down.
She gently placed her sister on her bed and briskly walked back down the stairs; it was all she could do to keep herself from bursting into hysterics.
“Guard!” she called out to the first armored pony she saw. Normally gentle with her subjects, that was the last thing on her mind when she spotted the unicorn guard standing sentry.
The poor mare, previously bored out of her skull, nearly fell over in shock at the Princess’ tone. “Y-yes, Your Highness?”
“Summon the Archmage and the Royal Physician to my sister’s quarters,” she ordered. The guard opened her mouth to speak. “Now!” she yelled.
Celestia turned away from the scrambling guard and cast a worried eye out the window and towards her sister’s tower.
What else could go wrong?
“Auntie, we should wake Luna,” said Cadence.
Her aunt gave a tired sigh. Despite seemingly taking the situation well, Cadence could tell Celestia was gripped by anxiety. Her flowing rainbow mane was less illustrious, and she seemed to move with stiffness, as if all her muscles were taut from stress. It broke Cadence’s heart to see her aunt like that.
“Yes, she needs to know. Stay here, Cadance, I’ll go.”
Before Cadence could protest, Celestia briskly left, leaving her in Jorge’s room with the others.
The Elements of Harmony waited in Jorge’s room, trying to ignore the pool of blood next to them. Rarity and Lyra were sitting on Jorge’s massive bed, attempting to distract Fluttershy from the goings on; the little pegasus hadn’t stopped shivering yet. Twilight and Applejack were talking to the guards, hoping to glean any information or help in some way. Dash was pacing the room restlessly, wings twitching anxiously. Cadence, meanwhile, sat on one of the pieces of furniture that hadn’t been destroyed, holding Lyra as the sullen unicorn stared blankly at the puddle of blood.
“Any ideas, Cadence?” asked Twilight.
Cadence shook her head.
“What about the delegates?”
“We’ve told them what’s happened, and we’re… keeping them under supervision. Captain Prescience doesn’t want to rule anyone out.”
Twilight looked perturbed at the news. “You don’t… you don’t think that one of the nations had something to do with this, do you?”
Cadence sighed. Her shoulder felt tighter and tighter with each passing minute. “I don’t know, Twilight. The delegates didn’t exactly take a liking to him.”
“But, to go so far?” Twilight shot a pitiful glance at Fluttershy. “I bet that… that monster Chrysalis did this,” she spat.
Cadence didn’t say anything; she stared, transfixed, at the blood drying on the bright marble floor. The door of Jorge’s room burst open.
“Your Highness!” panted a Royal Guard
“Yes?”
“Celestia demands your presence in Luna’s chambers immediately. Yours too, Lady Twilight.”
Twilight and Cadence glanced at each in concern.
“What’s going on?” asked Twilight
“She would not say, only that your presence was required immediately.”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Dash swooped in front of the guard. “What about us?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Dash, but I only have orders to bring Princess Cadence and Lady Sparkle.”
“No way! We have a right to know what’s going on.”
“Darn tootin’!” whooped Applejack, backing up her friend.
“No,” ordered Cadence sharply. “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, now is not the time for this. Twilight and I will go.”
“But—”
Cadence squeezed Dash’s shoulder. “I understand how you must feel, but you must stay here.” She glanced over at Fluttershy, who lay trembling on the couch.
Dash sighed. “Fine.”
Cadence smiled. “Thank you. Twilight, let’s go.”
“Oh, uh… sure,” stammered Twilight. I’ve never seen Cadence this tense, she thought, throwing the Cadence a nervous glance.
The two of them followed the guard through the castle and up the tower’s seemingly endless spiral staircase, passing by dozens of sentinels until coming before Luna’s chamber door.
It’s like every guard in the castle is here, thought Cadence with trepidation. What is going on?
“Thank you,” she said to the guard, who nodded and took his place guarding the staircase.
Without stalling, she and Twilight stepped through into Luna’s chamber. The room was full of ponies, each of them nycha from the Lunar Guard. Celestia stood over Luna, who was lying on her bed with wide glowing eyes and a glimmering horn. Next to her were two other ponies, an elderly unicorn stallion wearing a golden robe and a younger-looking pegasus mare with a stethoscope hanging around her neck. It didn’t take long for Cadence to recognize them.
Oh no…
She forced herself through the throngs of night guards towards the bed.
“Auntie!”
Celestia startled. “Cadance?”
“What’s happened to Luna?” Cadence held Luna’s leg in her hooves. Even though she felt a weak heartbeat, her flesh felt alarmingly chill.
“That is what we are trying to find out, my niece.”
“What happened?” gasped Twilight.
“I came to wake Luna, and I found her like this,” explained the Princess.
The burgundy pegasus next to Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry Princess, but near as I can tell, this is no physical malady. She’s catatonic, that much is certain, and she is ignoring all external stimuli. However, she’s also suffering from arrhythmia. Until Twinkles here finishes, I won’t be of much help.”
“I’d greatly appreciate it if you did not call me that, Swineheart,” hummed the bearded unicorn.
The pegasus snorted furiously.
“Thank you, Wineheart,” soothed Celestia. “Regardless, I’d appreciate your company here. Your presence alleviates my nerves.”
“Excuse me,” said Twilight, stepping in front of Wineheart. “But who exactly are you?”
“Oh, my manners,” said Celestia. “I apologize, Twilight. Allow me to introduce you to Doctor Wineheart, Royal Physician.”
“You’re the Royal Physician?” said Twilight, glancing at Wineheart’s heavily pierced ear. “But you’re so… so…”
“Young?” answered Wineheart, no shortage of distaste in her tone.
“Well, uh, yes?”
Wineheart scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Freakin’ typical. I’ll have you know, Sparkly, that I’m the best damn surgeon this side of the Kivuli Mountains.”
“What happened to Doctor Moss?”
“He retired last year,” explained Celestia. “It seems that all the recent excitements in Equestria were too much for him. Wineheart was his top student.”
Twilight huffed. “I liked Doctor Moss better,” she mumbled to herself.
The light brown unicorn opened his eyes as his horn’s glow gradually faded. “Well, that was interesting.”
“Professor Pliny!”
Pliny blinked. “Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight hopped over to the elder stallion and gave him a hug, which he eagerly returned.
“My, my, Twilight, how you’ve grown.”
“Where have you been the last… what is it, eight years?”
“Mostly continuing my research in the western provinces. It’s good to see you again, Twilight. I only wish it was under better circumstances.”
“Have you found anything, Professor?” asked Celestia, trying and failing to keep her worry in check.
Pliny gave a thoughtful hum and stroked his long beard. “Well, she’s asleep, that much is certain.”
Celestia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her patience ran deep, yet even she was struggling to keep her calm demeanor. “Yes, I can see that,” she muttered, strained. “That is fairly obvious under the most basic observation, Archmage. Please, is there anything else?”
The Archmage took a deep breath. “I’ve had to limit my examination, considering the painful amount of magical discharge, but… there may be something. Tell me, Twilight, do you remember Astral’s Four Types of Magical Essence?”
“Uh, yes, of course; they’re some of the most influential theories in the history of magic.”
“Would you mind reciting them for me?”
“Why? It’s been an obsolete theory for millennia.”
Pliny smiled. “Humor me.”
Twilight sighed. “Astral’s four types of magical essence, or ‘states being,’ as the word is more aptly translated from Old Equestrian, are as follows: Ethereal, the most common; Elemental, the most petulant; Natural, the eldest; and Animus, the life breather.”
“Very good,” praised Pliny. “Of course, now we know that Animus was more or less the same as Ethereal, and Natural was more of a category than its own type of specific magic… more or less.”
“I’m sorry, Archmage, but how is this relevant?” asked Celestia.
“Because, Your Highness, I’ve detected faint traces of very old magic within Luna.”
“Well she is a couple thousand years old,” snarked Wineheart. “That’s probably something you’re going to run into.”
“Not like this,” said Pliney grimly. “I mean very old magic. Very old and very earthy.”
“Earthy?”
“Natural. It’s not weaved like most unicorn spells. It feels… grown, earthy—similar to some types of Zebraican shamanism I’ve encountered. But there’s too little to be sure.”
“Is there anything that you can do to reverse it?” asked Celestia
“I’m not sure; there isn’t enough of this magic to properly analyze it. At least, not without copious amounts of time. Otherwise, if it is Nature magic, and I’m not saying it is, then it is likely tethered to an anchor—a talisman, probably; but there’s no way to find out where this anchor is.”
“Well, until this anchor is found, I want you to keep trying to find an alternate way to free Luna. Twilight, I want you to help.”
“Of course, Princess,” said Twilight with a bow.
Pliny hummed deeply. “You know, Princess, I’m sure the Zebras have an expert shaman amongst their ranks. Surely they could help us with th—“
“No!” shot Celestia sharply. “I want to keep this among our magical experts.”
“Very well,” hummed the Archmage with a disapproving frown .
“Doctor Wineheart, please go to Mister Jorge’s room and help the guards in any way you can. Cadence, I want you to come with me.”
Both alicorns headed out into the hallway. Once they were safe from any of the guards’ prying eyes, Celestia took a deep haggard breath and leaned against the wall.
Cadence had never seen her aunt look so old before.
“Auntie, are you alright?”
“No, I most certainly am not,” laughed Celestia mirthlessly, slumping against the wall. “How bitterly ironic: untold magic and thousands of years of experience at my disposable, and I’m wandering back and forth through this accursed castle, helpless to do anything.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll find him,” assured Cadence.
Celestia smiled thankfully at her niece and picked herself up. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right.”
“Is there anything you need me to do? Talk to the delegates perhaps?”
“No, for now it’d be best to ignore them. I don’t want to spring an interrogation on them; the last thing we need now is them leaving.”
“Right, right…” mumbled Cadence, lost in thought.
Celestia frowned. “Is something troubling you?”
Cadence was about to say something, but hesitated. She shook her head and strained a small smile. “No, sorry, Auntie. Just… thinking.”
Celestia gave her niece an unconvinced look. “Very well, Cadence. Go back to Jorge’s room and help keep the Elements calm, I need to discuss some things with Prescience.” The Princess was about to leave her niece when she paused and looked back to her. “And, Cadence, I ask you to not do anything rash, understood?”
Cadence nodded stiffly.
Celestia held a hard gaze but eventually relented, and Cadence watched her aunt leave.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “This blows.”
“Really, Rainbow Dash?” asked Rarity. “What makes you say that? The blood or the fact that one of our friends is probably in mortal danger?”
Rarity winced at Dash’s glare. “I’m… I’m sorry, darling. That was entirely uncalled for.”
“It’s fine, Rarity. I’m just sayin’ it sucks that we have to stay in here doing nothing.”
“Well, what do you suggest we do?” asked Applejack, ignoring the pages of the book she was flipping through.
“I say we bust out of here and look for him ourselves.”
“That’s a great plan, Dash!”
Dash was about to retort but stopped herself and gave Applejack an odd look. “Really?”
“No,” deadpanned Applejack. “What makes you think that we could find him when half the guards in Equestria can’t?”
“Because I’m the fastest flyer in Equestria, duh.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “That would be great, if you knew where to look for him.”
Dash waved her hoof dismissively. “That doesn’t matter; I’d find him in ten seconds flat.”
“So your saying you’d comb all of Equestria in ten seconds?” asked Rarity flatly.
“Yeah, I mean, how big could it be?”
Applejack facehoofed.
While Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash discussed Dash’s impromptu rescue plan, Lyra and Pinkie were trying to comfort Fluttershy.
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy, the Princesses will find Jorgie, just you wait.”
“I know,” sniffed Fluttershy. “I’m just afraid he’s hurt.”
“Hurt? Jorge? Pfft c’mooon,” dismissed Lyra. “Have you seen his hands? I be he could, like, punch through walls with those bad boys!” Lyra flailed her legs and made explodey noises, earning a faint giggle from Fluttershy.
“Besides, even if Jorgie was hurt, I’m sure you could make him all better.”
“You really think so?”
“Of course, Fluttershy!” beamed Pinkie. “You’re the best.”
Fluttershy smiled thankfully, and the two shared a hug.
“D’awww,” cooed Lyra.
Unfortunately, the tender moment was interrupted by the sound of the chamber door swinging open.
“This way, ma’am.”
Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom walked in, followed by a burgundy pegasus mare wearing lime-green scrubs and a stethoscope around her neck.
“Thank you,” she said. “Alright, listen up! I’m going to need everypony to leave immediately.”
“Uh… and who are you exactly?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“My name’s Doctor Wineheart, and I’ve been tasked by Princess Celestia to help the guards here with forensics, so if you’ll all please leave, I can get to work.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Who do you think you are, bossing us around?”
Wineheart sighed before putting on a forced smile. “I’m sorry sweetie, but I’m too busy to examine your ears, so buzz off and this’ll go much quicker for everypony.”
Dash growled and brought her face right up to the doctor’s snout. “You think you have the authority to get rid of us?”
“No,” answered Wineheart condescendingly. “But I know someone who does. Guard!”
Cloud scowled at the mare. “Yes, ma’am?” he asked grudgingly
“Please escort these civilians off the premises immediately. I need to get to work.”
Cloud glanced between Wineheart and Dash. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but Miss Dash is an Element of Harmony. She has clearance to be here.”
“Who in Tartarus is ‘Miss Dash’?”
“—Ahem— ”
The doctor turned to see Dash giving her smug grin. Her eyes widened before narrowing over the sound of grinding teeth. “I can’t believe I have to work with stupid civilians…” she grumbled between long strings of unintelligible expletives. She pushed her way past Dash and towards the center of the room. “Just stay out of my way.”
Wineheart stepped towards the small smattering of blood on the floor and pulled off her satchel. Fumbling with its straps, she quickly put on a surgical mask. She began pulling out all manner of tools: from cotton swabs to scalpels, all manner of instruments came out of it in a seemingly endless string until nearly a dozen expertly organized devices lay out in front of her.
All eyes in the room were drawn to the doctor as her precision and intensity captivated nearly everypony, particularly Rainbow Dash, whose animosity had drifted away on a current of curiosity.
Dash floated over to Wineheart and glanced over her shoulder.
“Watcha doing?”
The red mare tensed in surprise, causing a pair of scissors to clatter to the ground. She glared at Dash.
“I’m working,” she said tersely.
“Oh… watcha working on?”
Wineheart grit her teeth, trying to keep her cool. “I’m about to take a sample of this blood to try and determine from what species it belongs to.”
“Oh… and how’re you gonna to that?”
“By swabbing it and mixing it with one of these potions,” shot Wineheart, keeping her eyes on her work.
“Oh… and what good’ll that do?”
Wineheart tore her mask off and spun around towards Dash. “Don’t you have anything else you could be doing, Miss Element of Harmony?” she spat, putting all her effort in keeping her eye from twitching.
“Hmm…” thought Dash aloud, rubbing her chin in contemplation.
Her eye began to twitch regardless.
“…Nope.”
Wineheart all but screeched in frustration. She stiffly returned her attention back to her work, trying with all her might to block out any distraction.
“So… how long’ll this take?”
“Well,” she perked up with sudden saccharine, giving Dash a huge smile. “It should go really quickly, but you see, something’s been distracting me.”
“Really?”
Wineheart nodded vigorously. “Oh yes, and it would be a real big help for me if this distraction just buzzed off.”
“Huh, that sucks.”
Wineheart’s smile slowly crumbled under the crushing weight of Dash’s obliviousness, gradually forming into a bitter scowl. Midnight Blossom, for her part, had been watching the entire conversation and was doing all she could to keep from bursting out into a fit of laughter; even Cloud had trouble keeping in his amusement.
“Sooo…” said Dash, still hovering behind Wineheart. “Need any help?”
“No,” grumbled the doctor, taking some blood samples.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Like, really, really sure? I am the fastest flyer in Equestria,” she added proudly.
“Really sure.”
“I mean, I could help you find that distraction of yours.”
Years of medical school had taught Wineheart that violent migraines were anything but healthy, and that she should probably take a potion for it before it got more serious. Ironically, she was too distracted by a violent migraine to remember that, so she opted to simply grit her teeth and mumble.
“I bet you could,” she seethed. “But no thanks. I. Am. All. Good!”
“Are you really, really, really su—?”
“You know what!?” burst out Wineheart. “Now that you mention it, I do need your help.”
“Really?”
Eye twitch.
“Oh yeaeeaah!” Wineheart grabbed a hold of Rainbow Dash and brought her close. “You see those books over there?” she said, pointing to a pair of bookshelves on the far side of the room.
“Yeah?”
“I need you to go over there and organize them. Waaay over there.”
“What kind of job is that?” complained Dash.
“Super important. I’m going to… uh… swab those books later, and I need them to be in order.”
“Uh, O-kay?” Dash pulled herself from the doctor’s grip and flapped her way to the books. “Over here?”
“Yeah, that’s perfect,” waved Wineheart. “Just stay way over there and do that.” She turned her attention back to her work and began grumbling. “That way maybe I can finally get some bucking work done around here.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged and began doing as she was told. Not having any remote idea what the Dewey Decimal system was, she simply began pulling out books and rearranging them in any particular order. Not surprisingly, she got bored after a few minutes.
“Are you sure this’ll help?” asked Dash, oblivious to her companions’ eye rolling and facehoofing.
“You’re doing great, hon!” replied the doctor without looking back.
“Uh… Dash?” said Twilight. “You realize she’s—”
“Quiet, Twilight!” shushed Pinkie as she held a tub of popcorn. “You’ll ruin it.”
Twilight gave her a disapproving look. “Don’t you think it’s a little mean?”
“Ah don’t know, Twi,” said Applejack with a grin. “I’m hoping to see how long it takes her.”
Pinkie offered Applejack and Rarity some popcorn, and the two were more than happy indulge themselves.
Dash huffed, pursed her lips, and continued pulling books out rearranging them. I’m starting to think that this isn’t actually gonna help much, she thought, her shoulders sagging in boredom. Her eyes scanned the dozens of titles, trying to find something interesting. Where’s all the Daring Do?
Eventually she came across a particularly dusty tome jutting out slightly. Unlike the other books, this one looked ancient. The golden lettering on its spine had faded until it was no longer legible. Without even opening it, Dash could tell its pages were probably crumbling within its cover.
Dash grabbed a hold of it, but when she tried to pull it out, it wouldn’t budge.
What the?
She tried yanking on it again, but it still didn’t move. Dash’s eyes narrowed. She spat in both of her hooves and rubbed them together before gripping the stubborn book tightly. With a mighty flap of her wings, she pulled as hard as she could.
The book shifted with a loud click, catching Dash off guard and causing her to stumble back. The grinding and twisting of large machinery could be heard coming from the walls.
“Uh, doctor?” said Dash, stepping back nervously.
“You’re doing fine, Dash,” answered Wineheart, not paying attention.
The wall started shaking, rattling the room and dropping books unto the floor. Everypony except the doctor put space between them and the door as deep clicking began emanating through the room. With a loud screech, one of the shelves began sliding into the wall.
Wineheart scoffed in irritation. “Dash, is there anyway you can do… that… quietly…?”
She trailed off as the shelf finished sliding open with a final, echoing clang. Everyone gawked in shocked silence as the dust finished settling to reveal a cavernous set of stone stairs leading through the secret passage and into depths unknown.
Dash glanced down the stairway and back to Wineheart. “Uh, I think I found something.”
“Everypony back up!” barked Cloud Skipper, snapping himself from his stupor. He pushed Dash out of the way and looked down the dark passage, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “Midnight, do you see anything?”
The nycha rushed to her partner’s side and squinted down the stairs. “There’s more blood leading down there,” she said grimly.
Cloud nodded. “Double echelon formation, you take point.”
Midnight’s claws crackled with power. “Got it.”
“Do you need any help, sir?” asked one of the Royal Guards.
“No, we’ll move quicker as a pair. You stay here and guard the Elements.”
“We can take care of ourselves,” protested Applejack.
With one flap of their wings, the pair shot down the stairs and fired a blinding gust of wind through the flabbergasted room. The two silently glided down the passage at breakneck speeds. Occasionally, Midnight would slow down and let out a series of high-pitched clicks, prompting Cloud to grip his spear tightly. Despite the dim glow of Midnight’s claws, he felt utterly blind confronted by the icy pitch-black. He was forced to rely on the slight changes in air pressure from Midnight’s movements in order to navigate the mazelike corridor.
The cold stone stairs seemed to go down forever. Deeper and deeper they went, into depths of the castle that hadn’t been explored for millennia, with no sound except for their breathing to keep them company. The pair came to a fork in the stairs. Midnight stopped and began sniffing the air, squeaking and clicking as she did so.
“The left passage reeks of blood,” she said matter-of-factly.
Cloud nodded, and without another word the two rushed down the left passage, their hooves barely grazing the cobbled floor. Cloud could feel specks of sweat trailing down his temple as he pushed his wings to their limit. The two quickly came across a dead end. Midnight put her ear against the door and listened. After a second, she began twitching and waving her wings towards Cloud.
The stallion nodded. Without a word his spear crackling to life, washing the corridor in a weak light. He positioned himself behind Midnight, who began tracing an outline around the iron lock with one of her claws. The heavy metal glowed a brilliant red as orange sparks fell. Carefully, she pulled out the now molten iron. She shifted her body until her back was facing the door and her face was mere millimeters from Cloud’s. The two shared a nod, and Cloud put a hoof on her shoulder, bennding his knees.
Midnight bucked the door with all her might, and the wood exploded inward in a shower of splinters. Cloud Skipper flapped his wings and jumped over Midnight into the room, spear at the ready; Midnight whipped around and rushed after him.
Ancient. That was what came to mind. The chamber was utterly ancient, the product of a bygone era. The torches hung from the walls, flickering and bathing the cold stone in warm light. The only piece of furniture was a cracked desk, the wood long since rotted. A canopy of cobwebs hung from the roof, having claimed these catacombs as theirs, away from creatures that thrived under the warm sun.
Cloud and Midnight relaxed as it became apparent that the room was largely empty.
“Stay frosty,” ordered the stallion.
Spear raised, he headed to the only other door in the cramped room, carefully stepping over cobwebs and the sheets of parchment they had ensnared.
The door was alike to the front entrance, except the hinges and lock were curiously absent of any rust. Tentatively, he grabbed a hold of the latch and was surprised to find it unlocked. He raised his spear and waited for a second. In one swift motion, he threw the door open and rushed through the doorway, only to yelp in surprise and frantically leap back.
A powerful gust of wind shook the silky threads creeping along the walls as the door parted to reveal a vast ocean of empty blue. Cloud caught his breath and peered over the edge. Lush, vibrant countryside carpeted the horizon, resting at the bottom of a thousand foot drop. A massive shadow lay across the farms below, and Cloud looked up to see the grandeur of Canterlot Mountain gazing down at him.
Why would this door be carved in the side of the mountain?
“Cloud.”
Cloud closed the door and joined Midnight, who knelt at a corner of the room.
“What is it?”
Without a word, Midnight parted a tangle of cobwebs, sending a group of spiders scurrying. Cloud reared back in shock.
“Found the source of the smell.”
Spiders crawled from the swollen tongue and onto dry orange fur, while drops of blood lay trickled down threads of web.
“Slit throat.”
“Is he…?”
Midnight nodded
“Dammit!”
Midnight waited for Cloud to finish his outburst. She glanced back at the dead eyes partly rolled back into the dead pony’s head. Looks like I’ll never get to geld you after all, eh Stout? “What do we do, Cloud?”
Cloud took a deep breath. “We have to tell the Princesses, now.”
The two left the spiders to their feast and climbed the endless staircase back to the surface.
“Guards!” barked Cloud as he rushed through the bookcase, rousing the Royal Guards. “Escort the doctor down the passage; we’ve found a body.”
A loud squeal drew everypony’s eyes to Fluttershy, who recoiled into one of the nightstands in horror, knocking down a clock and the dream catcher.
“B-b-body?” asked Lyra shakily, but Cloud and Midnight ignored them and continued directing the rest of the guards. She glanced at the girls, who stood shocked, trying to process the information.
“Woah, woah, what do y’all mean body?” asked Applejack, trying to comfort Fluttershy.
“We don’t have time to explain this.”
“Like hay you don’t!” spat Dash
Midnight jumped at the pegasus and hissed, knocking her back.
Cloud glared coldly at the Elements and Lyra. “You will stay here.” He turned back to Midnight. “Let’s go.”
As Midnight and Cloud galloped out of the room, neither saw one of the tiny threads on the dream catcher they had knocked down begin to unravel. It was the smallest thread: tight mere seconds before, but in one fell swoop, it loosened. In fact, nobody noticed this thread slowly unravel, slipping through knots of carefully sewn string, woven betwixt fiery phoenix feathers and onyx beads. And nobody noticed this thread rise with a whisper and disappear.
A groan.
That was all it took to leave the bedroom breathless.
“Luna?”
Her eyelids stung. They opened, and sound was shattered.
Celestia smiled in absolute joy, one that soured under the tears that started welling under her sister’s eyes.
Luna threw herself out of her bed and held onto Celestia as hard as she could. Her sheets floated onto the floor, and the guards watched in horror as cries deafened them.
And Celestia was helpless but to hold Luna as her shoulder was matted with tears. The breathless, raspy sobs eclipsed the chamber’s door slamming open, revealing to the outside a broken figure pouring unknown pain and anguish into the closest source of warmth, and the Princess, holding on, afraid to let her drown.
Even though he couldn’t see, he could feel the flesh reddening across his face. It was a sensation preceded by the pain that had been lingering in the back of his mind, now came in full force, reminding him of the tooth he was conspicuously missing.
Someone had hit him, now he remembered.
Someone had hit him…
Jorge groaned: a sound that was equal parts pain and slowly trickling anger. He shook his head and became aware of the tight, cold grip hugging his neck, rubbing his skin raw. The soft sound of clinking metal echoed around him, and his slowly trickling anger became a torrent.
He tried flexing his muscles, only to discover that he couldn’t move them. There was no dull ache, no fog shrouding his tendons like his arms and legs had fallen asleep. There just wasn’t.
Jorge opened his eyes, only to discover that whatever pain was lacking in his extremities was punishing his eyelids in full force. He poured his whole effort in trying to lift them.
He was eventually able to open his eyes, but it took him a second to realize it; he was greeted by absolute darkness. He sighed, and even through the engulfing darkness, he could feel his breath floating through the cold chamber as a fine mist.
His arms were stretched out and pulled back towards the wall behind him by a pair of chains, while another pair kept his legs spread out in a compromising position. It didn’t take him long to notice the collar around his neck. It was attached to a short chain fastened to the floor in front of him, forcing his upper body to stay hunched forward.
Jorge had long since lost track of how much time had passed by the time the lock lurched open. He raised his head as much as he could to see a crack of light reveal the smooth, icy steel encasing him. The metal door screeched open, blinding Jorge as light poured in.
He heard the door clank shut and a set of footsteps vibrating through the room.
