Everything has fallen apart for Scootaloo.

Her Cutie Mark will never come. The doctor said so. Her blood is just wrong.

As she stays in the Cutie Mark Crusader's Clubhouse, her friends show up. Now she has to explain that her crusade is over, and that there's even worse news.

Life as she knows it is over.

A/N: Kind of a sad story, with an upbeat ending. Listed as Slice-of-Life because it contains headcanon that makes some modicum of sense. Pretty light (Scoot's not even an orphan in this), and may have been done before, but this idea's been bothering me for too long, so here it is. Bonus points if you know what the title means. Avoid comments for massive spoilers, even if you do know what the title implies.

And yes, I do have some background in genetics, but I'm skimming it a bit for show feel.

Edit 28/7: Made the whole thing a little longer, and I think better in general. Hope you enjoy!

Watch out for the sequel, being worked on now.

When David volunteered to be part of a cryogenic experiment he thought he'd be at the forefront of human technology, spearheading research and development.

Unfortunately politics doesn't work that way.

Lucky for him, the science was solid... For ten thousand years.

AN: Don't take this seriously. Seriously don't. I don't.

Special thanks to my editor: Thornwing!

A-d-d-ditional Tags: Science Fiction, Parody, Waking Up In the Future, Equestria used to be Earth, Parity Bits, Things That Could Be Considered Irrelevant To The Premise And Is Only Used As Humour, Twi-bright, Kangaroos, Towels and Brawndo.

Rated teen for inappropriate scenarios. Well, lots of inappropriate scenarios. Now with 20% more Dark!

List of Side Stories:

The Story of the Equinos and Celestia
Twilight's Report
A Butterfly Bash
The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Unpublished Stories now available here.

I'll also keep the former list I made here:

The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria
Human Manual I
Equine Manual I
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II
Blue Pill
David's Nightmares
Robot Manticore Attack
The First Law
Discordant
A Dated Journal Entry
McQuestria
McQuestria II
To Touch The Stars

A flip of a coin. A twist of fate.

Twilight Sparkle, younger sister of Princess Celestia's personal student, Shining Armor, grew up listening to her brother's bygone dreams of joining the elite of the elite: The Royal Guard.

Now, fresh out of the Academy, this young mare is ready to prove herself equal to the deeds of the great soldiers she read about as a filly. Too bad the princess she ends up protecting isn't Celestia.

Princess. Alicorn. The pillar of all ponykind, against which so many ponies often judged themselves. Celestia hates having to constantly be these things, and it's past time for a break. Luna will watch over Equestria while her sister is gone, but taking a break from your duties and taking a break from how the world sees you are two very different matters. Enter Prominence, a quiet pony who nopony really pays much mind to. Perhaps because she doesn't exist.

Aided by this disguise, Celestia will find her peace and relaxation in the home of one of the few ponies who know Prominence's true identity: Princess Twilight Sparkle. But when Twilight begins to see Celestia as a pony, and not a princess, can she deal with the feelings that arise? And are the feelings for Celestia, or for a pony she knows is not actually real?

EDIT: I've been featured, July 19th, 2014. I have no words to express how terrified and humbled and terrified and proud and happy and terrified this makes me.

The Elements of Harmony failed. Twilight Sparkle was unable to activate their power, and the sixth never even appeared. It is her greatest failure, and the doom of all Equestria. Plunged into an endless night, she has to find a way to stop Nightmare Moon.

Her research is getting her nowhere, though, until she has a visit from a stranger in a dream, who grants her the power to face down the Nightmare. But is it enough, with the Elements lost?

Borrows themes and ideas from Persona and other places, but isn't a direct crossover with any of them.

Big thanks to Guardian of Brittania and Acarcion for help with editing!

After getting their cutie marks, the three crusaders go their separate ways but they try and keep in contact through letters to each other. This story is following them as they grow up to face the best life has to offer, and the worst...

[This story was originally written back during Season 2. It has been edited to add in some elements from the newer seasons, but the story itself has not changed.]

When Maud Pie officially endorses the latest party game to hit Equestria, Pinkie can't wait to share it with her friends.

For all the wrong reasons, it's a game they won't soon forget.

The trendsetter so controversial, 60% of FimFic's mods ruthlessly crushed the subsequent bandwagon!

Stuff said about CAE:
"I never knew I wanted this until now!" - Xomniac
"Despite your vileness, I can't stop laughing at this fic!" - Professor Tactitus
"Illuminati confirmed." - AlesFlamas
"So weird, I reviewed it twice!" - John Perry

Rated Teen, but brace yourselves for some rather 'near-the-knuckle' humour and strong-ish sexual references. Oh my.

Edited by Kolth

Sweetie Belle gets stuck in a time loop.

Traducción Española: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Un-poco-circular-1-4-990271915

Proofread by many people such as: 0_0, refferee, Leonzilla, crooked, TheGreatEater, and other people I may have missed.

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

Applejack’s talents extend far beyond her family’s namesake crop, and until now she’s been content to keep that a secret. Whoever heard of a farmer that used advanced math, anyway? Today that’s going to change. Today she’s showing the world the other fruit of her labors, no matter how much it hurts to remember planting the seeds.

Edited by Dizzy Daze and Horizon

Audio Production by Scribbler
Featured on Equestria Daily!