A Normal Part of Ponyville Life
“And the mime,” Pinkie Pie snorted, desperately trying to hold back her laughter, “the mime said to the king, ‘hey, you can’t reign on my charades!’” Ponyville’s premiere pink party pony fell over onto her side, rolling with laughter. Applejack and Rainbow Dash chuckled, Fluttershy and Rarity blushed at the off-color nature of the joke, and Twilight quietly shushed Prominence when she pointed out that mimes don’t speak. This picnic was going wonderfully, and they were all so glad that Rarity had suggested it. The weather couldn’t be better. It was the archetypal idyllic day. Sun shining, birds singing, a cool breeze flowing through the air--THOOOOOOOM--Earth quaking, ponies screaming--CRAAAAASH--and houses collapsing.
“What in Equestria?!” Rarity cried, and shrieked as Pinkie spilled a glass of juice on her as the ground shook once more.
“Let’s go check it out!” Twilight called, rallying her friends to action as she took off, flying toward the source of the disturbance. They all moved as fast as hoof or wing could carry them to see what aid they could lend. Prominence quickly fell to the back of the pack, weighed down by her own apprehension. She had felt the tremors, but those weren’t strong enough to cause buildings to cave in. And yet, there were caved in buildings. She could see them. Perhaps the biggest concern was that the ground would rattle like that despite the fact that Ponyville was nowhere near any sort of fault line.
They skidded to a halt as they reached the source of the disturbance.
Twilight stared at the back of a massive, hunched over beast, walking away from a hole it tore in the ground. She glanced about at the panicked citizens of Ponyville, and, more troubling, the ones who weren’t panicked at all, but just babbling incoherently. She’d read about this before. She knew what this was. “IT’S AN UMBER HULK!” She shouted, quickly teleporting herself and all of her friends behind a building.
“Is that a giant bug?” Pinkie asked, peeking around the building. With a face adorned with four compound eyes and two razor sharp clicking mandibles, and with a body covered in a thick carapace, she could be forgiven for her mistake. Twilight grabbed her with her magic and yanked her back to safety.
“It looks like a huge armored gorilla!” Rainbow Dash replied. It swung its massive, club-like arm into the side of a house, buckling support beams and shattering windows, and the pegasus began to fly at it at full speed. Twilight once again pulled an overly curious friend to safety.
“Umber hulks live deep underground! Why would it be coming up to the surface like this?” Fluttershy asked, trembling.
“We can figure that out later. For now, it’s smashin’ the town. Why’d you pull us out like that?” Applejack demanded, staring at Twilight. She trusted the princess, but this wasn’t the time to be chickening out.
“Because, if you look at all four of its eyes at once, you get entranced by a madness spell!” She replied, releasing Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash from her magical hold. “I had to get everypony out of there before they were affected. And speaking of which, those eyes are the first thing we need to take care of...”
“On it!” Pinkie called, reaching just out of view and retrieving two pails, holding one in her mouth and the other in her tail. She hopped playfully out of the alley way and into the chaos and destruction.
She silently climbed up the beast’s back, perching on its shoulder, and unceremoniously dumped the first bucket onto one of its eyes. The umber hulk was reasonably upset that one of its eyes was suddenly covered in glue, and began to thrash about wildly, letting out a horrible roar and clicking its mandibles furiously. Pinkie proceeded to pour the shiny contents of the second bucket onto it, the glue firmly holding the yellow glitter in place.
The monster grabbed hold of Pinkie in its massive hand, pulling her off of its shoulder, and moving her toward its quivering mandibles, its mouth open wide. She reached into her mane and retrieved a bottle, squeezing it. A stream of hot sauce flew into the creature’s mouth, and it screamed out in agony, hurling Pinkie Pie at a wall, which she bounced off of, oddly emitting the sound of a squeaky toy as she did.
Pinkie returned to her friends, panting and forcing a smile. “Ok, so, the good news is, he doesn’t have four eyes anymore. Now he’s just got three eyes and a disco ball.” Everypony exchanged confused glances. “The BAD news is, I think I made him mad?”
Fluttershy’s knees were shaking so bad they were knocking together, but she stepped forward regardless. “I, um, I’ll try to calm him down.” She lifted off the ground and flew over the house toward the rampaging monster. Without having to worry about going temporarily insane from just looking at it, everypony peered around the side of the building to see Fluttershy work her magic.
“Hey there, Mister Hulk?” She called gently, being sure to fly just above its reach. The umber hulk roared at the timid pegasus. “Now, now, there’s no need for all of that...Why don’t you just calm down and—EEP!” she swerved to the side, narrowly dodging a tree. “If you could just--” She dropped quickly to avoid a wheelbarrow. “Stop throwing things and--” A chimney flew through the air. “O-oh, um, ok then.” She began screaming in panic, frantically dodging projectile after projectile.
Seeing that a gentle, diplomatic touch wouldn’t do the job, the others rushed out into the street, ready for a fight.
Applejack ran up and swung both rear hooves into its ankle as Rainbow quickly rose into the air and dove, slamming shoulder first into the back of its head. The creature buckled, falling forward, and Twilight’s magic gathered around its ankles, pulling it back toward the hole in the ground it crawled out of. It dug its fingers into the dirt, pulling itself forward, struggling against Twilight’s magic. Prominence’s horn glowed, a wall of fire rising up in front of the monster, but it would not be deterred as it continued its crawl, eventually breaking out of the fields of magic and climbing back to its feet.
They all scattered as it swung its massive arms at them, roaring in anger and annoyance. Rarity grabbed a curtain out of a destroyed house and wrapped it around the beast’s head, blinding and disorienting it as Twilight once again pulled it toward the hole in the ground. When it finally neared the hole, Applejack and Rainbow Dash each charged, slamming into it and sending it toppling back into the dark abyss below.
Twilight’s horn glowed brightly as the ground began to merge together above the monster, sealing it away. Applejack and Rainbow Dash swung their hips out and slammed their flanks together, laughing and hollering in celebration of their victory. Pinkie Pie hollered and jumped, pulling confetti out of her mane and throwing it into the air. Rarity and Fluttershy smiled proudly at each other. Prominence laughed about how they’d fought a monster. They fought it and they won. She laughed, she threw her forelegs around Twilight, and she kissed her. Twilight kissed back.
Silence hung in the air as all of their friends (and several bystanders) stared in shock. With a sudden flash of realization, both mares pulled apart, ears down, and sheepish, apologetic grins on their faces. Twilight cleared her throat, hoping nopony bothered to make a big deal, and desperately wanting to run and hide. Unfortunately, there was still work to be done. And hopefully, that work would distract everypony from what just happened. “Alright...The hard part’s over, now let’s get to work rebuilding.” She waited as her friends continued to stare at her and Prominence. “…Fluttershy? The beavers?”
“O-oh! Right!” Fluttershy zipped off to acquire some animal contractors to aid in reconstruction. That seemed enough to shake them all out of it. Rarity began cleaning up wreckage, Applejack went home to get some tools, and Prominence decided to get a little bit of distance from Twilight.
She walked up to Rarity, trying to distract herself from the kiss. “You guys really just kind of...Get to work, huh?”
“Oh, we have to, dear. After all, somepony’s home was just destroyed. What sort of ponies would we be if we didn’t try to help rebuild?” She said, not looking up from her work as she gathered up shards of glass, her horn gently twisting them into an elegant sculpture and setting it aside for later decorating.
“But, I meant...Well, you didn’t need to discuss what you’d do, didn’t need to plan, you just...Hop to it.” Prominence replied, doing a bit of cleaning herself.
“Granted, the destruction isn’t usually this bad, but we do live on the edge of the Everfree forest. We’re no strangers to monster attacks. This is just an ordinary part of Ponyville life. I mean, really, just look around, darling.”
And Prominence did look around. And Celestia’s heart soared at what she saw. The strength, the resilience, the unity of her ponies. Everypony who’d fled the monster’s attack was back, with a contented smile on their faces as they all lent a hoof, helping fix whatever damage they came across. None of them even seemed the least bit distressed (though some were still babbling incoherently, but medical professionals were checking in with them). At the absolute worst, they seemed annoyed that their day had been interrupted.
“Wow...Ponyville’s amazing.” She whispered.
“Mostly cuz I’m here,” Rainbow Dash replied, flying past with a saddle bag full of tools, distributing them to the working ponies.
With an entire community, a few beavers, and a lot of magic, the few houses the Umber Hulk had managed to smash were all back to normal by nightfall, and after a day of hard work, Prominence and Twilight headed back to the castle in awkward silence.
They each gave the other plenty of space, walking about ten paces apart. Prominence chewed her cheek in worry as Twilight glanced around, ears flat against her head. They finally made it through the door of the castle and each paused, staring at the other.
“I’m sorry,” Prominence finally said. “I don’t know what came over me. I was so excited...I...I ruined everything.”
“No, no, it’s fine, I just...What do we do now? What do we tell everypony?” Twilight asked, scuffing a hoof on the floor.
“...Nothing, and hope they didn’t notice?” Prominence asked, a hopeful smile on her face. Twilight rolled her eyes. "I could just say I was overcome by the moment. I mean, I was. There doesn't have to be any romantic connection between us for me to be kissing the closest pony because I just fought an enormous monster and lived."
“Maybe. But that’s not the only thing bugging me…” She stared at Prominence’s lips for a moment. “Before, the plan was to not move forward...but now we have to go backward from this.”
Prominence frowned, deep in thought. “...One more?” She asked. “So we know what we have to look forward to?”
Twilight’s cheeks quickly flushed red, her eyes wide, and the tiniest hint of a smile gracing her lips. “I...if you want to?”
“I really do,” Prominence smiled. Twilight slowly and timidly leaned in for her second kiss ever.
Ten minutes later, the two mares laid on the floor, furiously making out as their hooves stroked over one another’s bodies, tender moans rising up between kisses and whispers of each other’s name.
Twilight felt a sharp jabbing on her shoulder. “Mm, careful, watch your horn...” She felt it again on her cheek. “Ow!” She opened her eyes. “SPIKE!” She shouted with indignant fury.
The baby dragon prodded her with the broomstick one last time for good measure, this one falling on her forehead, to the left of her horn. “Dinner’s ready.” He thought for a moment and gave her another poke to the cheek. “What are you guys doing?”
Prominence frantically got to her hooves and began straightening out her mane. “Well, Spike, we...That is to say, I...” She couldn’t find any words. “Boy, I sure am hungry.” She chuckled helplessly, looking to Twilight.
Spike stared at her as she remained on the floor, cheeks burning red. A bright flash of magic filled the room as she teleported away.
Spike and Prominence walked to the dining room to find Twilight fidgeting with her place setting, straightening and re-straightening her utensils as she waited for them.
The night wore on with more than its share of awkward silences, and eventually, everypony went to bed.
Twilight was pleasantly surprised that her dream was relatively normal and not particularly erotic, despite the events of the day before. She ate with Spike and Prominence, happily enjoying her breakfast, and when she finished, she walked out the front door for some fresh air.
And that’s when the Princess found herself surrounded by shouting reporters and flashing cameras. All of them were demanding to know more about the mystery mare she had supposedly been kissing.
“I...uh...There was an umber hulk...” She said, stunned by the sudden appearance of the press. “It attacked the village...but we stopped it, and we helped repair the damage we caused...There’s still the problem of where it came from,” She had begun to focus more on her diversion tactic, tuning out the questions. “Umber hulks actually live very deep underground. It’s incredibly rare for them to come to the surface. They don’t really dig up. But this one just came out of a hole into Ponyville. I do plan to investigate this matter personally. I intend to reopen the hole it emerged from, and carefully explore it until I find the cause of this attack. Thank you. No more questions.”
She went back inside, calmly walked back to the dining room where Prominence and Spike were both finishing up their meal, and flopped over onto her the floor.
“We have a problem," She whimpered.
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Zombie-fic.
...... an update oh
and i read it but now i go to reread the whole story 
Huzzah!
Yay, Welcome back. Thanks for the new chapter.
Welcome back from the dead.
One of my favorites has returned, and it's worth the wait! I saw you'd been active again lately, and I was hoping, but to see an update is still thrilling. Thanks!
7651608 Still dead, just moving. Hence zombie-fic.
-throws 9000 Pinkie Pies at you all saying "MOAR"-
this is one of the first stories i really got into. cannot express how much I missed it, and how much it means to me that its back
just reread the whole story yea,
I do kind of want to see some of the high noble pony show up ask for twilight hoove in marriage act all snob and prideful and greed, even blueblood be in the front......
good story and I do hope for more chapter
7651704 is that so bad, that it's a zombie fic? I mean...all it wants to do is eat your brains. it's not unreasonable. I mean, it's not gonna eat your eyes.
I get that song stuck in my head for all of every october.
7652361
Stories that return from long hiatus tend to die after one or two new chapters. Not always but often enough. So maybe Snow talking about this.
Starbound is an amazing game.
theyetee.com/shirt_images/STAR-Obey/A_obey.jpg
Couldn't they just say she was being affected by the Umber Hulk's crazy-eye spell. I mean, when you've got a creature that you explicitly state can make you go temporarily insane just by looking at you, it seems like a no-brainer.
7653197 ...*makes some scribbles in notes*
but seriously, I hadn't considered that, but I haven't fully planned out how they handle the exposure yet. the next thing I've got planned is them looking into the cause of the attack. this may actually come into play. you may be influencing the story.
then again, I'm pretty sure the last time I checked a results table, there was no dice roll that would net you "kiss the caster" when confused. tee hee.
YES! YES! YES! YEEEEEEESSSS! A NEW PROMINENCE CHAPTER! I've been waiting since I made this blog post! EEE! *hugs tight and bounces*
Me when I saw you updated this
derpicdn.net/img/2013/6/30/360400/medium.png
Keep up the great work!
7653474
Maybe not, but there's usually a 'GM decides' option on most of those kinds of tables, be me being a horrible person, it's exactly the kind of thing I'd do to my players.
I think it's a good idea to just publish what you feel you can write. I very much sympathise with the problems of trying to hit an arbitrary word count. I felt so much better, and arguably wrote a lot better, by ditching it. Also shoutout to Starbound, awesome game.
Looking forward to where this is going to go. I forsee much neurotic Twi, and maybe a little crazy Sun Butt.
Ahaha, why do they continue to insist fighting it? ... ah, right, reporters (for which my mobile - rather correctly, I might add - suggests "torturers").
And you are correct: a chapter is as long as needs to be.
Welp. Just read chapter and im into this fic. Please dont end anytime zoon. Glad you started behk uhp. Maow
Glad to see this continuing!
Starbound is lots of fun! Glad to see this fic back in action.
I just reread the WHOLE thing YEY new CHAPTER!!!!!!! SQUUUEEEEEE
7655550 ...are you some kinda russia cat?
Yay it's alive! I'm pleasantly surprised.
Boo to Starbound, long live Terraria! It have Pinkie NPC!
7657243 ... maow.
7658155 never played terraria. it got novakids?
No. What's the fascination with glowing gasbags anyway?
7659368 For me, it's a combination of the wild west aesthetic, and their short attention spans. I have ADHD, and the idea of an entire race where everyone has it, where it isn't a challenge to overcome, where it's just normal, is very interesting to me. That's why I'm sad that there's no fics with them as protagonists, and why I chose to write one.
Umber Hulks? They are not pleasant customers. My GM just had hour 12th level part fight 8 of them... it was no pick-nick.
You're alive! Great first revival chapter.
YOISH! IT LIVES!!!
Seriously though, it's good to see this fic alive. And you're right it was as long as it needs to be, and a chapter is as long as it needs to be as long as it has all the necessary details.
7660833 hum. I read up on them before deciding to make that the monster that shows up, and...I'm pretty sure umber hulks are scared of other umber hulks. I'd have to go back and re-read to be absolutely certain. if you have problems with a group of them again, see if you can't get them to start infighting.
7663666 They were being controlled by one a species of abominations called the Neogi that breed them for obedience. They are in the D&D 3.5 sourcebook lords of madness. I haven't read up on the specifics of umber hulk because it makes my DM sad when I immediately identify the monsters.
Nice seeing you update, good work.
Just wanted to add o the list off comments that I am glad that the fic is back. Looking forward to more chapters!
When is the next chapter due to be added?
7716129 ...whenever I finish it? I'm not on a schedule here, and I'm whittling away at it. but I'm also working on two others. it largely depends on which fic I decide to work on each morning. Not to be rude or anything, just...it's coming, but I have no idea when it'll be here.
7718405 What are the other two stories you are working on?
7718718 It's all there in the author's notes of the latest chapter. one's a starbound fic, and one is The Shadow of Oppression on fimfiction, an anthro au adventure that is still building up.
Spike and a broomstick. I died.
Equestria...we have a problem!! Wow. So much for hoping everypony won't notice, eh? ^^;